stormweasel



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    After 18-year-old Shane's older brother wins the Stanley Cup, he decides to come stay at the Hollander family home for a couple of weeks to relax. Annoyingly, he also decides to bring along his super cocky, super hot teammate, 26-year-old Ilya Rozanov.

    *

    " “What,” Shane breathed, eyes glued to the screen. Rozanov had taken off his helmet and was now smiling at the commissioner. His usual shit-eating commercial-friendly Colgate-smile had been replaced by a more genuine one. He looked almost reverent as he ducked his head a little and shook the commissioner's hand. Shane could swear he saw dampness rimming the Russian’s grey-blue eyes.

    Despite him being a good friend of Spencer’s, Shane had never particularly taken to Rozanov. Cocky assholes with god complexes and unapologetic ragebaiting-kinks weren’t exactly his cup of tea."

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    08 May 2026

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    The second time Shane Hollander wakes up on November 16th, he has a panic attack.

    The problem is — he tries to explain through gasped breaths after Hayden basically knocks down his door, shouting that they’re going to miss their flight — the thing is, Shane’s already woken up on November 16th. He’s already flown to Boston. He’s already been to practice, and he’s checked into the hotel, and he has lived this day before.

    He doesn’t mention that he’s also already fucked Ilya Rozanov twice and had a fucking tuna melt that Rozanov made and drank the ginger ale that Rozanov bought specifically for him. He doesn’t mention that they’d snuggled on the couch watching TV like some kind of couple, like boyfriends.

    He doesn’t mention that he fell asleep thinking about how Ilya — fuck, no, thinking about how Rozanov had called him sweetheart and Shane, and that, even now, he can’t quite get the cadence of Ilya’s voice out of his head.

    Or: After the tuna melt fiasco, Shane Hollander wakes up in a time loop.

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    04 May 2026

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    “Oh god,” Shane whimpered. It was cold at first, a strange, solid weight settling inside him. “N-No, I can’t–!”

    “Shh, don’t worry,” Ilya crooned close to his ear, the long tongue tracing the shape of it before the monster bit it lightly. “I’ll make space for it.”

    (or, mermaid Shane wants to know if the stories about the ferocious sea monster is true. He gets his answer and a lot, lot more.)

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    02 May 2026

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    Rather than give him the joint, Ilya takes it back between his own lips and sucks in a deep breath, the tip glowing as he does so. Then, before Shane can process it, he’s reaching up and sliding one large hand around the back of Shane’s neck, pulling him down so their lips meet.

    Shane gasps softly, and Ilya takes the opportunity to blow smoke into his open and waiting mouth.

    Oh, God. Are you there? It’s me, Shane Hollander. We’ve had our differences, but I think I’d like to convert for real this time. I’m ready. Open the pearly white gates. I’m coming up.

    Shane goes to a house party, gets high, then gets on his knees. bon appetite
    now a multi-chapter saga bc i couldn't help myself

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    02 May 2026

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    And oh, Ilya was a weak, weak man.

    Because Shane had clearly gotten the wrong advice from someone along the line.

    And as his RA, his mentor and guide in the first year of Shane's college career, he was meant to correct that. Steer his charge clear of such horrible, terrible ideas as asking their “straight” RA to teach them how to kiss behind their boyfriend's back. Say no, malysh, you really don't need to worry about this, your first kiss should be with someone you love and trust and really want to kiss.

    “Okay,” he said, instead, and thought that at least he wasn't going to be sent back to Russia.

    He was going to be sent straight to hell.

    Language:
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    Chapters:
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    30 Apr 2026