tediousdelusion
Fandoms
- Our Flag Means Death (TV) (5)
- Black Sails (4)
Recent works
-
Tags
Summary
“I want a divorce.”
Izzy’s said the words more times than once in the past eighteen years of marriage, but he means them this time. More than he ever has before, anyway.
At the prow of the very expensive and very unnecessary boat parked in the driveway, Edward - Izzy’s idiot (soon-to-be-ex) husband - sighs and rolls his eyes.
“Come on, Iz!” Ed shouts. He’s wearing a stupid fucking captain’s hat and has one foot propped against the rail. “The boat is an investment! And it’ll be fun.”
Or, how Izzy Hands saves his marriage (and gains a boyfriend) by getting a divorce.
Series
- Part 1 of the ideal husband
-
Tags
Summary
Izzy Hands decides to leave the Revenge three months, two weeks, and six days after Stede Bonnet's ship finally catches them. He had tried to pretend, for a time, that not everything has to change just because the Gentleman Fucking Pirates has once again defied the odds - both by rising from the dead and by not dying more permanently on his way to Edward. But Izzy knows as well as anyone that Bonnet is fate’s exception. And Edward’s too, for that matter, rules be damned when the twat is in proximity. So, after the fourteenth time Izzy walks in on a silk-clad conversation about feelings, he decides to pack his bags. He hears that Vane is recruiting. Perhaps he could even get in with Low.
Four days later, he changes his mind.
Or, Izzy Hands learns the difference between being needed and being wanted.
-
Tags
Summary
James takes his cue and starts tightening the laces. How ladies manage to wear the things, he will never know. Miranda offered to show him, when he last expressed his confoundment, but she hadn't yet managed to orchestrate a clothes swap. Given everything else about her, she'll probably have her way within the fortnight.
He gives the stays one final pull before going to tie his work in place. Thomas usually leaves a bow, always symmetrical and somehow distinctively his, a dead giveaway that he never leaves this particular chore to the servants. James typically tries to copy his work. Something about leaving things as he found them feels correct, or at least appropriate.
But, for all that James is hesitant to confront the situation directly, he knows that there are no secrets here. And so he loops the laces gracefully in his hand and ties a bowline knot, just as he has done a thousand times before. The finished product is efficient, almost effortless, and so distinctively his that it might as well be a signature.
Or a confession.
Or, James and Thomas flirt by tying Miranda's stays.
-
Tags
Summary
They begin when Blackbeard is more of an idea than a person. When Edward Teach shoves Israel Hands into the store closet and lights a match between them.
Hands has seen more than enough of Teach before, prancing about the deck and demanding more of Hornigold’s regard than he deserves. He should find it desperate, this kind of peacocking, if it wasn’t so fucking effective. Teach has barely been on the ship for six months and already he has the Captain’s ear and the crew’s good favor. Hands has taken twice as long just to get their begrudging respect.
Because where Hands is constant, assured, dependable, Teach is... Exciting. Combustible. Illuminating.
Or, a series of vignettes in the life of Izzy Hands, featuring the tattoo, intricate rituals, and the conflation of love and violence.
-
Tags
Summary
She wants something to slash, burn, and destroy, but, looking down at her soft hands and lady's skirts, she does not know how to do it. The empire may have fashioned James into a weapon for its wars, but it has done something more insidious to her. It has sanded away whatever sharp edges that may have been her birthright until she is no more a threat to it than the ocean smoothed pebble may be to the giant.
Or, a Miranda Barlow lives AU where Peter puts the clock in a different room, Captain Flint is abducted, and Miranda joins the crew.
Recent series
Recent bookmarks
-
Tags
Summary
Molly deals with the aftermath.
Frowning, Molly turns to retrieve two mugs from the cupboard. As she slides them from the cupboard she asks, “You think they’ll come back?”
“It isn’t likely they’ve left,” Freddie explains, eyes trailing over Molly’s hands as she sets the mugs down and pours their coffee. “Jack Crawford is looking for them in Florence. Hannibal’s ex-psychiatrist turned up a week ago missing a leg. You tell me what continent they’re on.”
The mug Molly is holding clatters against the counter top loudly, and coffee sloshes everywhere.
“Excuse me?” Molly finds herself laughing, sharp voiced and flabbergasted. She turns again, enough to see Freddie, smirking and staring back at her from the kitchen table.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 16,906
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 9
- Comments:
- 173
- Kudos:
- 5,001
- Bookmarks:
- 1,339
- Hits:
- 36,788
Bookmarked by tediousdelusion
11 Jul 2025
-
Tags
Summary
Herbert West has had to lie, cheat, and concoct his way to being the man he is today. But after becoming closer than comfort with one Daniel Cain, will he be able to keep secret his status as a self-made man?
//
aka trans danbert deep dive they fuck at the end (not clickbait)Bookmarked by tediousdelusion
02 May 2025
-
Summary
Erin Hunnicutt spends the summer in Seattle with her dad and the old war buddies she didn't know he had.
(stories set in the both sides now universe, listed in chronological order)- Words:
- 194,657
- Works:
- 4
- Bookmarks:
- 38
Bookmarked by tediousdelusion
19 Apr 2025
-
i'd talk with the devil but i wouldn't know what to say by anirondack
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
05 Apr 2022
Tags
Summary
Blackbeard inclines his head. Go on, then.
Izzy inclines his own back. Yes sir.
In the dark, the cut of the blade feels like consecration.Character study on Izzy Hands, and what it takes to create the legend of Blackbeard.
Bookmarked by tediousdelusion
27 Apr 2022
-
- Words:
- 73,776
- Works:
- 4
- Bookmarks:
- 290
Bookmarked by tediousdelusion
23 Sep 2021