thealmostdead



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    The one where Shane tries to be perfect, Ilya pushes too hard, and an entire hockey team helps search a mountain when one of their own goes missing.

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    English
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    6/6
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    29 Apr 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    “Hey, Hollander, it’s your turn to tell the story,” Wyatt Hayes interrupts from the row behind them. 

    “The what?” Shane questions, looking to Ilya, who only manages to give him a sort of sympathetic look. “Is this some kind of hazing thing you didn’t tell me about?”

    Troy Barrett’s head pops up from the row in front of him. “It’s something we do every flight. Harris told the story about his sister and a skunk on that first flight after the incident in Tampa, and it kinda became a thing. Helps to calm everyone’s nerves.”

    “Oh,” Shane says, feeling nervous and kind of annoyed already. “Just like…any story?”

    “Usually it’s something funny. Pretty simple stuff,” Nick Chouinard tells him. “But you’ve got to stand in the aisle and project so we can all hear you.” 

    “Oh, but I don’t have that loud of a voice,” he tries to say, but it doesn’t seem like anyone is listening, an excited rumble moving through the team. 

    Fucking great.

    “So, the first time Ilya met my parents was so bad.”

    “How bad was it?” Hayes deadpans, and everyone laughs again.

    Shane swallows. "I'm so glad you asked."

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    28 Apr 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    “Jesus, I’ve never seen Hollander this pale. Look at his lips, they’re fucking white —”

    “Whoa, dude, are you okay?”

    “Roz, I would get that bag ready if I were you…”

    “Is he even awake? It looks like he’s lights out, or about to be —”

    --

    Or, Shane has an ear infection and is stuck on a plane. His willpower will get him through it. (No it won't.)

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    Language:
    English
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    6,386
    Chapters:
    2/2
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    28 Apr 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane: So, what is this we’re doing again? 

    Harris: It’s called 36 Questions That Lead to Love. They’re questions that a psychologist developed back in the nineties that are supposed to help couples move past the awkward stage and get more personal. It’ll be fun!

    Shane: You always say that it’ll be fun, and I don’t think it ever ends up being much fun. 

    Ilya: I always have fun. I do not know what your problem is. 

    [Harris lets out his signature booming laugh, and Ilya grins widely.]

    Harris: You maybe have a little too much fun. 

    Ilya: There is no such thing. 

    Shane: But what’s the point of the questions if we’re already in love? Like, we’re married. You were there when it happened.

    Harris: Yes, but they can help you deepen your connection, and it makes for good content. People love your love. 

    Ilya: I think we had a pretty deep connection last night, am I right?

    [Ilya holds his hand up for a high-five from Shane, but Shane only glares, and Harris looks slightly horrified. Ilya looks back expectantly, but when Shane doesn’t move, Ilya high-fives himself. With the sound of the clap, the screen goes black.]

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    27 Apr 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane Hollander was a man on a mission: Prove that he was as much of a simp for his husband as, if not more than, Ilya Rozanov.

    (Or four times someone notes how whipped Ilya Rozanov was + one time Shane Hollander showed the world that he was equally whipped)

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    26 Apr 2026