thefartmaster
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les actions sous l'emprise de l'ivresse | actions under the influence of intoxication by thefartmaster
Fandoms: Hazbin Hotel (Cartoon)
16 Jan 2026
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Summary
vincent whittman tracks alastor into a bar to brag about his work and "talk about business;" they end up having a freak-off. and that's Okay heart emoji. much more plot to come.
for the sake of plot let's pretend the first TVs were invented in the 30s instead of the 50s. and let's also pretend that I know jack shit about creole-french dialect. and that this is historically accurate at all. you know what if we're just gonna pretend then let's convince ourselves i'm good at writing
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they're both fatigued and food-deprived, and hajime doesn't want to walk back to grape tower. you know, for plot.
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if you know me online or personally im begging you not to read this
this is SO BAD I literally wrote it in 4 hoursthings to know-
Louis uses she/they pronouns
reader is completely genderless
this is really boring it's just plain old ao3 porn
it's pretty bland like excruciatingly bland and I might rewrite itthis is for my danonators that are in love with louis
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hi i wrote this when i was 14 i'd like to delete it but it has 8 thousand hits THAT'S CRAZY so. my legacy lives on i guess
Recent bookmarks
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Summary
Alastor had noticed Vincent’s sudden dry spell and wanted an explanation as to why he'd been coming home late from work.
The truth of the problem is that Alastor needed to have sex yesterday, or tomorrow; he had lost track of the days.
Bookmarked by thefartmaster
24 May 2026
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Seventy years was a lot of time for anger to build. Seven years was enough time to forget all that was good. Despite a lifetime's worth of anger, hurt, betrayal, and resentment, Vox, the loyal dog that he was, answered Alastor's call every year without fail.
Or, back during a friendlier time, Vox and Alastor established a pact: with no strings attached, Alastor is to call out to Vox during his heat for some...assistance. Now back from his sudden disappearance, though, something in the Radio Demon has changed, and this heat is nothing like the rest.
Bookmarked by thefartmaster
05 May 2026
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Vox and Alastor discover that what Alastor's shadow feels, so can Alastor choose to. Just...not quite as intensely.
Alastor's shadow discovers that it likes Vox very, very much.
Bookmarked by thefartmaster
21 Apr 2026
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“I’ve missed you too,” Vincent confesses.
Yeah, this is– they’ve overdone it with the drinks pretty bad.
The warmth from the whiskey churns inside Alastor’s guts, making his fingers feel numb. He tears his gaze away, staring at the whiteness of the ceiling instead of whatever is behind Vincent’s eyes.
The ceiling fan rotates on its axis, not doing much to snuff out the heat of the room. Vincent’s hand is still there, cupping his face, caressing his cheek.
Vincent’s voice cuts in. “Can I kiss you?” Ever so soft.
The fan is still spinning, worthlessly.
“Do you have to ask every time?”
Or: Alastor misses Vincent and they make out. Hard.
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Vincent invites Alastor out to dinner, where they assume no funny business will take place. But clearly, they’re both lying, since there are no plans on returning to their illegal activities in the near future, meaning it’s just an excuse to satisfy their badly hidden sexual desires.
In other words, Alastor watches Vincent eat oysters and gets turned on, and lets Vincent eat him out.
Bookmarked by thefartmaster
27 Mar 2026