unfeignedpalms
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“Are you still dizzy? Sore, bloated?”
All of those, but it seems to finally be receding. Stolas’ gingerliness is honestly hilarious to witness. “You are way too prepared,” Blitzø snorts.
“I did have a daughter.”
Did. Better not to linger on the choice of words. “…You’re a bird.”
“Well, yes,” Stolas concedes. “I see you eat eggs every morning, you know. That’s what happens when we—”
“Oh… oh God, doesn’t that put some stuff into perspective.”
or: Blitzø gets his period. For once, it’s not too bad.
Bookmarked by unfeignedpalms
17 Sep 2025
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Eric, Stan, Kyle, and Kenny used to be close...
Well, Eric not so much.
The group had grown apart over the years and stopped being friends Freshman year. Up until his mom hires Stan to babysit his four year old little brother with development delays, he thought he never needed to talk to Stan again.
Stan. The guy who was so consumed in depression, no one could help him. Not even his own friends. Eric thought he already knew the person Stan was.
But oh man....
How could he be so wrong.
Bookmarked by unfeignedpalms
16 Sep 2025
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Puppy Stan has messed up and is waiting for his owner to return home to punish him.
Bookmarked by unfeignedpalms
16 Sep 2025
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In their final year of high school, Stan begins to question his sexuality after a painful breakup with Wendy. At the same time, Cartman is stuck in a toxic relationship with Heidi while secretly dealing with an unrequited crush on Kyle… and something even more confusing that’s starting to grow for Stan, his teammate.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 37,961
- Chapters:
- 6/?
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 36
- Kudos:
- 38
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Bookmarked by unfeignedpalms
07 Sep 2025
Bookmarker's Notes
Dude this?? This chapter. this CHAPTER BRO. Read it while playing line without a hook by Ricky Montgomery. Cartman pining and staring lovelorn and kyle, knowing he will lose him no matter how much he tries. He can have Heidi, etc. But he will not have the one he truly wants and that can never be known either. So fricken tragic man. Staring at him lovelorn and lovesick, knowing it's dead at the doorstep and on arrival. A love that will never live out of his mouth. He lost.
FUCK MAN IM LOSING IT HERE.
Kyle’s eyes were locked on nothing, frozen like he was trying to solve an impossible equation. He blinked several times, agitated, his breath ragged—like someone waiting for a “surprise!” shout with a stick of dynamite behind the door.
“He hasn’t… done anything?” he whispered, barely audible.
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I want Kyle killed by Eric's indifference AHHH! This whole sixth chapter is giving me the perspective of Eric through the looking glass like Anastasia ghosts in a room you can't catch like he's a figment of my imagination blink andyou'll miss him STAN TY FOR KEEPING AN EYE ON HIM
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Stan felt it. Every brief glance they exchanged whenever Eric looked Kyle’s way, each one hiding something neither of them could decipher.
Heat rose in Kyle’s face.
“He’s just waiting for the perfect moment to destroy me.”
Stan noticed the tremor in Kyle’s hand, the way he kept dodging the brunette’s eyes—and he also noticed how Cartman was staring back at him. Not with hatred. Not with resentment. He looked at him as if he wanted to scan him, or maybe… remember him.
That tiny detail, that barely visible gesture no one else would catch, was what made Stan swallow hard.
Eric raised his cup in a light toast. The smile that came with it wasn’t fake or cruel. It was calm. Almost sweet.
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Heat rose in Kyle’s face.
“He’s just waiting for the perfect moment to destroy me.”
Stan noticed the tremor in Kyle’s hand, the way he kept dodging the brunette’s eyes—and he also noticed how Cartman was staring back at him. Not with hatred. Not with resentment. He looked at him as if he wanted to scan him, or maybe… remember him.
That tiny detail, that barely visible gesture no one else would catch, was what made Stan swallow hard.
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Like Stan, the redhead kept watching Cartman, waiting for the explosion, the mockery, the low blow. But nothing came.
And now Cartman was right in front of him. Calm. Too calm. A calm that felt like a trap.
“Wanna sit?” Eric asked suddenly when he noticed Kyle staring, patting the empty space beside him on Tolkien’s inflatable couch. His voice sounded serene. Strangely serene.
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“Have you ever liked someone, Stan?” he asked suddenly, without looking at him. “I mean really liked someone. And no, I don’t mean that bitch wench Wendy.”
Stan reacted instantly, like he always did when Eric spoke about her.
“Don’t call her that.”
Eric laughed again, but it was that brittle laugh he used when caught red-handed in some mischief. His voice dropped, lower than usual.
“I mean someone you really liked, for years… and realizing that no matter what you do, that person is never going to choose you.”
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JEW BOX
Kyle stopped and just blinked in bewilderment. As far as he was aware, there was only one Jew that Cartman knew and could have a box dedicated to. Curious, he forgot about the pencil and dragged the box out from under the bed instead. It was quite hefty. He crouched over it on his knees, and he could see on the top, written across the lid in the same thick black marker as the writing on the side, was a warning.
DO NOT OPEN, ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE A JEW, OR I WILL KICK YOUR ASS
Kyle checked over his shoulder. Cartman wasn't back yet, and Kyle couldn't hear his returning footsteps either. It was probably okay to take a quick peek inside then, just a little one…
Kyle opened the box.
*~*~*~*~*~*
When Kyle finds a curious box hidden under Cartman's bed, he thinks he knows what to expect from it. Though once he opens it, he rethinks everything he ever thought he knew.
(Title comes from the lyrics to Obsession by OK Go.)
Bookmarked by unfeignedpalms
09 Sep 2025
Bookmarker's Notes
Ahhhh!! I'm looking fto3ard to more of this. middle school kyman is so so so much potential eeek@ cartman with a crushhh
AHHHHHHHHH THIS 2ND CHAPTER AHHH!
Damn it all, that feeling hadn’t subsided. He felt his face go hot under his hands. Why the fuck was he flattered? Cartman was gross, he shouldn’t be so pleased that he liked him. Yet, there was still something about it he enjoyed. What was it?
…Perhaps the now indisputable fact that Cartman cared. Cartman, who never cared about anyone, had chosen to care about him, of all people. Kyle had always held out hope before that, deep down in Cartman’s twisted heart, he was capable of caring. And now he had found the proof.
The poems, their words smudged from Cartman having written a word, rubbed it out, written it again, rubbed it out, written it trying to make it perfect, like he thought Kyle deserved perfect.
The meticulously numbered letters, failure after failure, none of them good enough in his eyes, none of them good enough for Kyle’s eyes, for Kyle deserved better.
The mix-tapes, just one never enough to encapsulate all his feelings, with so many songs that reminded him of Kyle, because Kyle made him feel so much, more than more.
The photographs, guarded in-between the leather bindings of the book, arranged neatly and symmetrically, protected behind plastic film, because Kyle was worth protecting.
Even the pictures, fuck it all, as revolting as they were, had never shown Kyle hating what he was doing or what was being done to him. Of all the sick sexual things Eric Cartman could fantasise about – and Kyle had had many things on his mental Bingo card, would have expected nothing less than whips, chains, pain, degradation, humiliation – no, what Cartman had fantasised about was Kyle enjoying it.
He wanted Kyle to like it. He cared if Kyle liked it.
AHHH THIS AUTHOR AND THEIR MIND AND HOW EVERYONENIN THE SCHOOL KNEW BEFORE KYLE AHHH!!