Fun and Games

by Aurora Cee (SC182)

Summary:

Just a lazy day at 1327.

Notes:

Disclaimer: Property of Universal, Justin Lin, Rob Cohen, and Gary S. Thompson. I'm just borrowing them for a moment.

A/N: Just drabbles where the Family has fun. Everyone is alive and well in this verse.

Chapter 1: Staring Contest

It began with rain.

Rome stared out the window as fat drops fell with a look on his face that would’ve suggested that the downpour had personally offended him.

When he turned away, he found Brian and Gisele locked in an icy stare down. “What are y’all doin’? Trying to perfect the Vulcan mind meld?” He was met with silence.

So Rome circled the table to stand beside Han who’d taken up the position of ref or spectator or silent cheerleader. Mostly silently grazing on junk food as the staring continued.

“It’s a test.” Han said, offering Rome a nacho-flavored tortilla chip.

Rome rolled his eyes and made a gimme gesture for the bag. “A test of what? Who has the worst dry eye?” Though he would put his money on Brian if anyone asked. He knew from experience that Brian could sleep with open eyes. Which was just plain freaky.

“An exercise of special skills.” Gisele explained, her face barely cracking as she spoke. "A test of total concentration and control."

Brian added, “An absolute for a sniper.”

Han retrieved his bag of chips from Rome’s nacho dusted fingers. Rome turned to Han who pointedly looked ahead, masterfully evading Rome's chip seeking fingers. “This isn’t a real game until there are stakes. Call me when you want eye drops or you wanna make it interesting.”

Han crushed a pair of chips loudly between his teeth. “My money’s on Gisele.” Waving a five dollar bill with his clean hand. “She’s ex-Mossad.” Rome patted his pocket, finding his short stack of bills to add to Han's five.

Rome scoffed as a distraction but failed to swipe back the chips. “And he’s ex-Barstow. So where you’re from doesn’t matter in a staring contest.”

Han released a snorted cough, possibly having inhaled a chip, just as Gisele and Brian started snickering. Rome patted the sleeves on his shirt and his chest, suspecting that Han’s lips might’ve gotten a little loose when failing to multitask between eating and laughing.

Brian straightened up from where he’d bent over the table, collapsing in on himself with laughter. “I think this is a tie.” Brian proposed.

Gisele’s hands had cupped her mouth and peeled back to reveal her bright smile. “Accepted.” Then she gave Brian a fist bump to seal the terms.

Rome had enough and decided the kitchen offered better, well, everything. Throwing up his arms, Rome declared loudly, “That was the worst game ever.”

Chapter 2: Twister

Summary:

The time they played Twister.

Rome’s body collapsed as he tried to place his right hand on the green dot. He shuffled off the game mat to lean against the sofa with the other stiff-bodies losers.

“Are you pouting, Roman?” Dom asked while Rome churned his lips into a non-pouting expression.

“No.” Rome replied stiffly in a perfect imitation of a sullen five year old.

“Don’t pout. You were the second to last man standing.” Reasoned Brian as he threw an arm over Rome’s shoulders.

Rome would’ve shaken him, but Brian was notorious for good hugs so Rome leaned into the easy affection. “Naw, I’m not mad about losing.”

“Really?” Han sounded like everyone else looked: totally unconvinced.

Rome sputtered. “I’m mean, that’s not fair! How can we compete with her?” Pointing at Gisele “She’s like eight feet long and has legs like rubber bands.” Rome ducked Brian and Tej’s looks of caution. “No offense, of course, I’m just sayin’. I expected to lose and Mia’s, like, tiny.”

All true observations that got agreeing nods from Dom, Brian, and Han.

“I object to that!” Rome pointed at Tej, waggling his finger at the unholy sight. “I object to him cheating by trying to smother me. You better watch out, Mia, he may try to knock you out with his armpit.”

Behind a wall of hanging hair, Mia responded, “Thanks for the concern, Rome, but I’ve got this.”

“Um-hum,” Rome groused. “Y’all can’t tell me that he’s not cheating.”

Gisele twisted her upper body around to accommodate her left leg reaching out for red. “Pilates isn’t cheating, Rome. It’s the reason why we’re here and you’re out.”

“You doin’ pilates and yoga?!” Rome’s voice reached a new octave in the register of scandalized. “And, bruh, you didn’t invite me?” He directed his fount of outrage at Tej. “That’s low.”

Tej stretched for the next spot. “I thought about it and imagined you doing the Downward Dog, and then not being able to get back up like the old lady on TV. Your big head would help you get down, but I doubt that you’d be getting back up.”

Dom smirked over Rome’s head at Brian, who resumed his poker face when Rome looked up. “See, Roman, Tej was looking out for you and your constant struggle against gravity.” None of them did a good job of holding back the laughter after Dom’s remark.

Rome muttered, “I still say he cheated.” He blew out several sly huffs in Tej’s direction. An action that the Big Bad Wolf would’ve admired. “Kick his ass, Mia. Gisele.”

Next time, they’d all be singing the praises of a Downward Facing Roman.

Chapter 3: Pictionary

Summary:

A game where there's a suspicion of cheating.

They split into three teams: Han and Gisele, Tej and Rome, and Brian and Dom. Mia kept score and supplied the artist with clues. Brian and Dom were barely ahead of Han and Gisele while Tej and Rome were respectably last, though Rome blamed Tej’s poor hand-eye coordination for their position.

Brian handed his card back to Mia after reading the clue. Then he started drawing. He drew a depressing rendition of a road or a tongue, a stickman or possibly a cactus, sunshine; waves or maybe, the Bat Signal; and finally, a big bottle with Corona written across its face.

As soon as Brian stepped back, Dom immediately answered, “Mexico.”

Han whispered to Rome. “How did he pass the first grade?”

Rome whisper-yelled, “He cheated off of me!” Earning him identical stink eyes from Dom and Brian.

Mia revealed the card in her hand. “Correct,” Mia said, then hit the bell.

Gisele materialized a red card of objection, though Rome beat her to the protest. “Am I the only one who doesn’t think it’s fair that these two get to be on the same team?” Rome scanned the room for agreement, finding it easily. “I mean, me and Bri are boys but if I hadn’t seen him draw this scene just now, I woulda sworn he drew it with his feet. C’mon, Dom, how the hell did you guess that?”

“Easy,” Dom started, “a beach and Corona definitely equals Mexico.” Answered Dom with a touch of wistfulness in his voice. “It’s obvious.”

Tej uttered behind his fist. “Jedis.”

Rome cut Tej a betrayed look then shook his head in complete dissatisfaction. “I still want the receipts. Cheating is not a good look…on anyone and Jedi mind trickery is definitely on the list of no-gos. I just needed to put that out there.”

Gisele tucked her card away but stared down Dom and Brian. “I don’t think they’re Jedi, Rome. But I’m sure they’ve shared something else.” Which made Brian’s face go red and Dom’s surprisingly redder.

“Truth or Dare,” Mia proposed to diffuse the situation.

Surprising to no one, Brian and Dom were outvoted in favor of a new game.

Chapter 4: The Great Debate

Summary:

The only debate that truly matters according to Tej, Han, Rome, and Gisele.

Notes:

A/N: Inspired by Gal Gadot's Sponge Bob versus Bob Sponge debate.

 Rome argued, “Fraggle Rock.

“No, Muppets.” Tej disagreed.

Han offered his support. “Fraggle Rock.”

“Muppets.” Gisele countered.

Rome felt at peace with Han on his side. “Fraggle Rock was where it was at.”

“What are you talking about? The Muppets are iconic.” Tej opened his fingers to count off. “You can’t beat this line-up: Kermit, Ms. Piggy, Fonzie the Bear, Gonzo, etc--”

Rome and Han waved off Tej’s exposition. “Fraggle Rock was about struggle.” Han interjected, now looking at Gisele like he’d been mortally betrayed. “It’s a show about perseverance.”

Rome bobbed his head enthusiastically, tagging in so that he could tack on, “Yeah, they lived underground because the Man was trying to keep them down and catch them. That is the embodiment of struggle. We’re the Fraggles except taller and richer.”

Calmly, Gisele defended the honor of Kermit and Co. “The Muppets give people hope and teach lessons. They’re more known than the Fraggles and Bob Sponge.” The three men failed to comment on her syntax error, mostly because Rome didn’t want a chop to the throat or another face to face with her glock.

“You’re sure you had the Muppets in Israel?” Han asked carefully. Gisele stared back at him like a beautiful, deadly statue. Her counterargument delivered with a twitch of her eyebrow. “Right, Muppets, it is.” Han offered Rome a placating shrug and shoulder slap. Some things couldn’t be argued. 

Rome opened his mouth to defend Fraggles again but not before Gisele turned the Look^TM on him. He cleared his throat and found the picnic table infinitely more interesting. “You know what…” Rome knew reason when it was staring him in the face with lightning fast reflexes and perfect aim. “Ms. Piggy was kinda cute, even if she had a diva thing goin’ on.”

Tej waved this avenue of discussion off like he was in need of a rescue. “Naw, see, we were having a real discussion and then your big head had to go and wander into a cabbage patch of absurd bullshit.” Tej huffed in exasperation. “I don’t wanna hear about your Ms. Piggy fantasies.”

Rome surged on, puffing out his chest now that he held the high ground in the great debate. “Excuse me for looking at the full character and not just looks. Look who’s being superficial now. I bet you’re just mad, cuz when you get charged up your voice goes up like Bleaker—meep, meep, meep!”

Of course Brian ambled over completely oblivious to why Tej was glaring hard enough to fry an egg on Rome’s forehead.

“What did I miss?” Brian asked as he passed out a fresh round of beer.

Tej sliced his eyes away from Rome to give Brian a beseeching look. “Okay, settle this debate and prove Mr. Wacka-Wacka Five-head is wrong. So Fraggle Rock or Muppets?”

Brian took a pull from his beer, nodding along absently as he mulled over the argument. The collective weight of Rome, Han, Tej, and Gisele’s expectant looks barely registering as he sorted his thoughts. “That’s easy. The answer is Sesame Street for the win. You can’t beat Big Bird.”

Now Tej and Rome shared a psychic utterance of what the hell? until they neurons caught up to process Brian’s logic.

“The Count was kinda fly though,” Rome admitted. His face grew fond. “The dude taught some important lessons—cars, cash, and chicas all need to be counted.”

Tej had his share of fond memories as well. “Oscar the Grouch introduced me to sarcasm and I was never the same after that.”

Brian grinned broadly. “You’re welcome.” Debate settled.

Chapter 5: Tug o' War

Summary:

It's game for equals.

Tej argued, “If y’all get Dom, we get Hobbs.”

“He has a broken arm.” Mia pointed to the limb encased in a hard white cast.

Hobbs flexed his arm, breaking cast number three. “And?”

Dom rolled his neck and cracked his knuckles. “Let’s do it.”

Chapter 6: Truth or Dare

Summary:

Truth or dare or just a showcase of secrets and lies

Gisele turned to Mia. “Truth or dare.”

Mia stared back confidently. “Truth.”

Gisele’s smiles were never simple shows of emotion. At least three people around the table stiffened. “Truth it is.” Gisele tilted her head just so, enacting a maneuver that put Mia squarely in her sights. “Why do you dislike Ramsey?”

“Oooo,” Rome gasped.

“I don’t dislike Ramsey—I mean, Megan.” Mia gave a Ramsey a soft grin.  Ramsey began to shrink in her seat, still feeling unsure of her place in the family. “We’re still adjusting to each other.”

Gisele cocked her head slightly more rightward, her lips quirking to call bullshit. “But you don’t like her either.” Gisele caught Mia’s eyes sliding over to Dom. Mia’s reason just presented itself.

Mia and Ramsey had spoken a few words. Their bond started to form over their love of computers and the burden of being the smartest people in the room. “We’re still getting to know each other.” Mia reiterated. “We need more time?” Mia’s cheeks colored as she extended a tentative proposal to Ramsey. Her eyes flicking towards Ramsey more times than necessary for reassurance sake. Most of which were from beneath her lashes.

Now Gisele hummed thoughtfully. Replacement envy had been Gisele’s initial deduction but the sudden flush steered her instincts toward a curious mix of a crush with a splash of jealousy. With Brian sitting to Mia’s left and Ramsey to her right, Gisele would keep a close watch as Mia figured out where her true feelings lied.

Taking mercy on his sister, Dom spun the pointer with a gentle yet deliberate flick of his index finger. Now Brian had to choose. “Truth or dare?” Dom asked Brian.

Sizing up the dynamic of Mia and Ramsey, Brian stepped up to the challenge. “Dare feels safer but you only live once, so truth.” The rest of the group settled around the table, getting comfortable for the inevitable wild ride that was imminent. “Hit me,” Brian leveled a square look at Dom.

Enough gaps existed in Dom and Brian’s relationship for Dom to strike at a nugget of truth only to unearth a whole mountain’s worth of unknowns. So Dom considered his options quietly, finally asking Brian, “What were your worst undercover gigs?” Still a sore spot years later.

“Like top three?”

“Let’s go with top five, cuz I know this’ll be entertaining.” Dom clarified.

Brian rested his chin on the nest of his knotted fingers. “There’ve been good runs, bad runs,” he exhaled, “and some that shouldn’t be mentioned.”

Rome snapped his fingers in Brian’s direction. “C’mon, Bri-Bri, I know you have a top five. You have a top five list of tuna sandwiches and flavors of NOS and booty—thanks a lot for sharing.” Now grabbing his beer as a barrier between him and Brian’s Arctic winter glare. Because Brian’s relationships were complicated, oscillating between Dom, Mia, and Rome for a time or two. Rome’s slip added another pound of pressure on already thin ice.

Satisfied with his list, Brian began the countdown. “So here goes the top five: Five was the time I had to go undercover as a personal trainer to target an international steroid smuggling circuit. Four was the time I had to be one of Santa’s elves for the entire Christmas season. It was an op to stop charity theft. It sucked because the kids kicked and the moms—and some dads—pinched. A lot. In places that I didn’t think could be pinched. I had bruises for six months after that gig.”

Dom snickered freely. “You must’ve pissed someone off.” Laughing harder and harder as he pictured Brian in green tights and curly tipped shoes.

Brian shrugged. “I got the job done.” He moved on to the next list entry. “I was a kindergarten teacher during number three. It was the worst op for a long time.” 

Tej held up a hand. “Wait, you were a Kindergarten Cop? Did you tell some kid it’s not a tumor!?”

Brian shook his head. “No, but I broke my ankle after a kid gave me a flying chop block to the knees. I had to reemphasize that hands weren’t for hurting very slowly for that kid.”

“Aw, the kids loved Mr. Brian.” Han teased him. “Sounds cute even if it hurt.”

Brian reclined in his chair. “Yeah, they liked me or, actually, they liked Mr. Kent…Mr. Clark Kent.”

Ramsey snorted indelicately. “Really? That’s both terrible and awesome.”

Brian moved on. “Number two was definitely the nursing home. A cartel was running coke and knock-off meds through the Shady Pines Nursing Home which led to elder abuse and a couple of deaths. I went in as a nursing assistant—hard as hell, by the way—until I could trace the source of the drugs and the supplier on both sides of the border.”

The table gave him a drumroll as a lead-in for his final tale. “And at number one was the Hail Mary Club. I did piss someone off to get that assignment.”

No one noticed as Mia slipped her phone into her lap or her discrete thumbing across the screen. She looked down then up and back down again. “Why was it bad?” Her eyebrows struggled to remain neutral.

Whether Brian figured out that Mia knew about the Hail Mary’s reputation or just got lucky guessing, he continued on cool and steady as he reeled off reasons why the op was awful. “I got pink eye three times. The shaving—I didn’t realize I was that hairy—was a constant struggle. The time I swore I gave myself an accidental vasectomy may have scarred me for life. I sprained my other ankle. Busted a couple of my co-workers for solicitation which didn’t do me any favors around the department. Picked up two stalkers—one was like a less douchey version of Verone. Got pinched even more, both intentionally and accidentally. And, again, the shaving was the worst. So, yeah, it was hardcore.”

Whether Dom held onto some feelings for not making the cut, he ended up laughing with everyone else.

Brian caught Gisele sizing him up. Even went white when she mouthed Vada Voom as a sub-audible and under the notice of everyone with the exception of Mia and Ramsey, who used the laughter to give him several keen once overs, trying and failing to imagine Brian in that particular line of action. Inadvertently adding another log to the kindling of their relationship. 

But audibly, Gisele did call out, “Bullshit.” Gisele cast a giant grin at Brian and pointed at him with mounting disbelief. “Shady Pines, really?”

“Okay, you got me.” Brian laughed through his surrender. “That story is true though. I just blocked out the name of the nursing home, because it was so awful. Each of the ops where I got hurt are all true.”

Dom squinted as he did the mental math. “Didn’t you get hurt during all of those gigs?”

Brian grinned. “Exactly.” He drained the last of his beer. “They’re all true with a few tweaks.” He got up to get another round of bottles for the table with Dom following him to the kitchen. Leaving Rome on the chopping back to wisely choose a dare after the preceding string of brutal truths.

Brian bagged the empties in the corner of the kitchen while Dom pulled a cool dozen from the fridge. “So, Vada Voom.” Dom stated bluntly. “I think I want to see it just as much as I’m scared to see it.”

Snagging half the bottles with a breezy grin, Brian gave Dom a simple offer. “Truth or dare.”

“Truth.” Said Dom.

Brian let his teeth drag over his lip until they curled into a smile that Dom had never seen before. Like bait, it was loaded with teasing promise yet coupled with smoldering batted lashes that made Dom feel like he’d selected dare instead of the truth.

“Don’t be shy, Dom.” Purred Brian in an octave that was raspy with soft edges.  A perfect blend of foreign and familiar. “I know you can handle the voom,” making the word pop as it left his lips. “When you’re ready step up to the Vada, let me know.”

It was a dare that reeled Dom in, transfixed by the sultry spark in Brian’s eyes and the magical quality of his tone. Of course, Brian had had to adapt to each of his ops, slipping in and out of facades that manipulated attention and trust. But there was always some truth in the mix. And the truth persistently bubbled up when they tested the bonds of the forces aligning them.

Dom dared to intercept the trail of Brian’s teasing lips. “I think I can handle Vada.” His voice a dry rumble.

A chortle with musical beats was volleyed back. “I’ve seen you handle the Charger, but Vada…” Another purring chuckle before more truth. “Vada doesn’t get handled; she handles, and if you’re brave enough, she’ll have you, too.” Brian gave Dom another sweeping glance that lasted twice as long on Dom’s mouth until gliding in for a barely there kiss and stalking away with a familiar grin tossed over his shoulder.

In his normal tone, Brian said, “Next time, I’ll choose dare.” As Dom followed him back to the game, Dom contemplated the perfect dare, already set for when he would be handled, smiling as he sat down wondering about just how far and for how long he’d let Brian—or Vada set the pace. 

Notes:

Yes, I did sneak in a Golden Girl reference.

Series this work belongs to:

• Part 4 of Things That Never Happened in TFATF Verse