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There are days when Hyukjae and Donghae fight. Majority of these days ended in either one, or both of them in tears—not because they felt like giving up, but because they were both overwhelmed by how much they loved each other.
Whenever he and Donghae fight, Hyukjae tries to think of the past and how it all lead up to where they were.
Hyukjae was 22 when he realized he was in love with his best friend.
He was 24 when Sungmin hyung decided that enough was enough and that he and Donghae had to sort out their feelings.
He was 25 and scared out of his mind when he told his family that he liked boys—specifically ones who were in the same group as him (only to have his parents say that they knew even before he had said it). It was also in that same year that Donghae had brought him to his father’s grave and introduced him as his boyfriend.
[ “Appa, I’ve brought Hyukjae with me. I’ve told you about him before. It’s real, and you were right. I promised you I wouldn’t cry and he was the one who made sure I kept that promise. He’s it Appa, he’s the one you were praying for; He’s the one I’ve been praying for.”
Hyukjae didn’t mean to eavesdrop on Donghae’s conversation with his dad, but he’s glad he did.
Before leaving, Hyukjae had told Donghae to stay put in the car. He went back to Donghae’s father’s grave, bowed and said,
“Thank you and I promise to take care of him.” ]
He was 26 when Heechul hyung caught him and Donghae sneaking around the dorms.
[Hyukjae was so sure no one was in the 12th floor when he pulled Donghae in his room. He and Donghae had finally gotten the go signal to start their sub-unit and all he wanted to do was celebrate with some good old sex.
Their jeans were already halfway off when someone opened the door. Both him and Donghae froze and stared at Heechul—who was definitely not suppose to be in Seoul because he was suppose to be at the training camp.
“Carry on. I got out of camp and decided to visit so I guess it’s my fault for ruining the mood. But you should definitely come clean to Teukie. You know how he gets.” Heechul says and backs away from the door with a mischievous smile on his face.
Donghae stares at Hyukjae and gets off of him. They both get dressed and after a few whispered shouts at each other, Heechul laughs and says “Idiots. Come out why don’t you?”
With sheepish looks, Heechul hugs both of them and tells them “I think its about damn time you tell the rest of us. We're tired of pretending we don't know.”]
He was 27 when Donghae and him had a come clean to the higher ups about their relationship. He was also 27 when he realized what it meant to keep promises.
[The higher ups said they understood but also made a decision that something big needs to happen to cover their relationship up. Though they were both almost at their 30s, Donghae and him knew that the only way they could continue living their life in secret is if they had said yes.
“Why are you making decisions for both of us? We’re in this together!” Donghae shouts at Hyukjae.
Kangin is somewhat taken aback with the shouting as he enters the 11th floor dorm to try and grab some members to come out and eat.
“How long have they been at it?” Kangin asks Kyuhyun who was pretending to concentrate on his game.
“Since they got back from their meeting. From what I know, Eunhyuk hyung made a deal with the suits and Donghae hyung is upset.”
“Can't this be my personal decision also? Am I not allowed to make my own decisions anymore? Do you want that much control over me?” Kangin hears Hyukjae answer back.
“That was not that right answer.” He winces and sits down on the couch to try and listen to them. He wasn't one for eavesdropping, but as a Hyung, he thinks he should step in when things get out of hand.
“Yah! Lee Hyukjae, this is about our relationship! It’s not just you! it’s both of our lives! Why are you trying to make this argument something its clearly not?” Donghae answers back and Kangin could already hear how hard he’s trying to hold his tears. “Why don’t we just break up then? So you can keep making your own decisions?” He continues, only now, its a lot broken and both Kangin and Kyuhyun know that Donghae is outright bawling.
At this exact moment, Kangin decides to step in before further damage is even done.
For all that Kangin claims to be strong, seeing both Hyukjae and Donghae in tears definitely struck a chord in him.
“Both of you, calm down and breathe. I didn’t want to interrupt but this is going nowhere. Come out and we’ll talk about it.”
After calming down and explaining that Hyukjae has volunteered to be put through a scandal to protect Donghae, Kangin had decided to call down Leeteuk so they can all try to figure out what to do.
“But you don’t have to protect me.” Donghae says weakly. He’s sitting across Hyukjae and trying to get him to look at his eyes.
"Of course I do. I promised your Appa.” Hyukjae answers a lot stronger.
And that was all it took for Donghae to completely break down.
Both Leeteuk and Kangin were amused at how mature Eunhyuk had to be to make the decision for both of them.
“Yah, Eunhyuk-ah, I’m extremely proud of you. but.. you know theres gonna be a lot of backlash on this. Are you prepared for that?” Leeteuk says.
“Hyung, it was either this or one of us goes on dates with a fake girlfriend. Plus, I don’t break promises hyung. I can’t break this one.” Hyukjae says standing up to grab a water bottle for Donghae.
“Yah, Lee Donghae..” Hyukjae says softer. He kneels down and tries telling Donghae to look at him. “Do you really want to break two of your promises? Let me do this please. You can take the bullet another day, but this ones for us. I’ll be fine. We’ll be fine.”
Leeteuk and Kangin feel as if they’re invading now. Kangin realises that these two were made for each other and he would fight anyone who said otherwise.]
He was 28 when he decided to go on a trip with the younger members to get away from the toxic media of South Korea. He was also 28, in Italy, completely in love, when he realized that it was all worth it.
He was 29 when he got to enjoy the stage with the love of his life. They were allowed to be Donghae and Hyukjae for D&E. D&E was selling because of their “hidden” relationship and the higher ups had no complains because whatever they did, the fans ate up.
["Heres another fanfic about you and Eunhyuk hyung. This one is almost accurate, except Eunhyuk-hyung does not have a big penis." Kyuhyun says as he clicks on another link sent by a fan.
He's spending his day in the dorm with both Eunhyuk and Donghae showing them fan theories about their relationship.
"You'd be surprised" Donghae says winking at Kyuhyun. Kyuhyun gags.
"I really don't get what the big deal was and why you both of have to deny this when clearly the fans actually love the idea of you and hyung being all up in each other."
"Well, we're not really hiding are we? Besides, we're happy. We can do whatever we want and everyone thinks its just how close we are. We really don't want to start a breakdown for South Korean society."
Kyuhyun guesses that maybe Donghae is happy how they are now. He makes mental note to pray harder for both of them.]
He was 30 when both he and Donghae had to enlist for the military.
He was 31 and alone in the barracks when he missed Donghae with all his heart, mind and soul.
He was 32 when they were finally reunited and back in each others arms. He was also 32 when he realized that his life with Donghae was officially beginning.
He was 33 when talks of marriage between him and Donghae and around him and Donghae get constantly brought up. Both of them feel, or at least, have said, that the papers don’t mean much because what they had—what they experience for their day to day lives is what matters and is real.
Now at 34, currently alone in his apartment after having fought over something he can’t even remember, Hyukjae thinks that theres no one else in the world he’d have for the rest of his life rather than Lee Donghae.
He gets up, grabs his house keys and goes to take the elevator up to Heechul's apartment where he knows Donghae is.
He rings the doorbell (even though he knows his hyung’s password lock) and waits for Heechul to open the door and is greeted by Heechul rolling his eyes at him.
He removes his shoes, and enters the living room where Donghae looks both mad and relieved to see Hyukjae.
“I’m sorry. And yes, you can buy me a new car if that makes you happy.” Hyukjae says approaching Donghae.
“That’s what you fought about?? Donghae, I’ll let you buy me 10 cars if that means you guys can get back to your apartment. God you guys make me sick.” Heechul exclaims.
It isn’t what they fought about, and quite frankly both of them don’t remember what they actually fought about. But after all of that, theres only one thing that they’re both sure of: No matter what, in whatever universe, they were made for each other .