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Jiang Cheng realises that this entire endeavor was a bad idea when he walks into the Cloud Recesses’ unfairly large, unfairly well-stocked, kitchen and finds Lan Wangji already there, standing at the counter. He is chopping vegetables. And wearing an apron. Jiang Cheng is not entirely sure he’s not hallucinating.
“What are you doing here?” he asks, wishing he’d donned an apron too. He rather gets the feeling that his formal, Sect Leader attire isn’t exactly the most appropriate for the task at hand.
“Cooking,” Lan Wangji says, and if it were anyone else, Jiang Cheng would be certain that they’re just being a little shit, and beat them up for it. However, this is Lan Wangji, and he probably is just this taciturn.
Although, considering the fact that he’s the person who’d married Wei Wuxian, the likelihood of him actually messing with Jiang Cheng becomes significantly higher. Jiang Cheng clenches his fists and forces himself to walk over to the counter where Lan Wangji stands. Lan Wangji raises his eyebrows. “Can I assist you?” he asks.
“No,” Jiang Cheng says. “I just need to use this kitchen. We can stay out of each other’s ways.”
“What do you plan to do?” Lan Wangji asks. He’s still chopping - are those lotus roots?
“I was gonna make soup,” Jiang Cheng admits, a tad reluctantly. “For my idiot brother.” Wei Wuxian had accompanied them on a night-hunt, and had decided to get his ass soaked while clambering up a mountain in search of their prey, instead of taking shelter from the storm like any person with a brain would do.
For high-level cultivators like Jiang Cheng and Lan Wangji, a little rain wouldn’t have been too much of a problem, but Wei Wuxian’s core is still weak and poorly developed, so, upon returning to the Cloud Recesses, he had promptly come down with a nasty cold. Dumbass.
Usually, Jiang Cheng would have just left him to suffer, and probably laughed at him a bit - but now, doing that would make him feel...inexplicably guilty. He’s not sure why - maybe it’s all the shit that’s gone down between them, which they’ve only just begun to tentatively move on from. Or maybe it’s just that this new body Wei Wuxian’s in manages to look even more pitiful than his old one, if that’s even possible - even when he’s covered in snot and resembles, more than anything, a freshly drowned rat.
Either way, the end result had been Jiang Cheng swallowing his pride, asking a disciple for directions to the Cloud Recesses’ kitchen, with the intention of making soup. But -
“So was I,” Lan Wangji tells him. He finishes chopping the roots, and adds them to a large pot on the stove. Jiang Cheng narrows his eyes at him.
“I meant,” he says, “that I was going to make lotus rib soup. His favourite.”
Lan Wangji says nothing, but glances rather pointedly at the roots in his pot. Jiang Cheng elaborates, “A-jie’s recipe. Which is the way Wei Wuxian likes it best, and which I know you can’t replicate.”
“Wei Ying has never had any complaints about the soup I make him,” Lan Wangji says. He fills a bowl with water, which he then begins ladling into the pot.
“That’s because he’s disgustingly infatuated with you,” Jiang Cheng snaps, and hates the way Lan Wangji actually seems pleased to hear this. “You don’t complain about his food even when it burns a hole through your tongue - don’t try to deny it, I know his ways - and he’s not gonna complain about your soup even if it’s utter shit. For example: you’re adding way too much water.”
Lan Wangji sets the ladle down immediately. “The recipe stated -”
“Fuck the recipe,” Jiang Cheng snaps. “A-jie’s soup is a Jiang family secret, you think there’s gonna be a recipe floating around? No way.”
“So what should I do instead?” Lan Wangji asks, like he’s actually going to listen to anything Jiang Cheng tells him.
“What part of Jiang family secret don’t you understand?” Jiang Cheng says slowly. “No way. Keep making your subpar watery soup, and I’ll make proper soup for my brother.”
Lan Wangji nods, and says, “Very well. I am sure my husband will appreciate your efforts.” Oh, so the great HanGuang-Jun is capable of being petty, after all. Wei Wuxian truly is a horrid influence.
Jiang Cheng sniffs, and gets right to work - or, he’d like to. The problem is, he can’t find anything in this labyrinth the Cloud Recesses calls a kitchen - there’s no logical order to their storage whatsoever. He can’t even find a damn pot.
Lan Wangji watches him struggle for a good ten minutes before saying serenely, “Pots are in the cupboard to your left.”
“I’ve checked that goddamn cupboard before -” Jiang Cheng snarls, wrenching it open - and finds. Pots galore. “What the fuck is wrong with this kitchen?”
“Lan family secret,” Lan Wangji says, monotone.
Jiang Cheng stares at him and has to remind himself, very deliberately, that Wei Wuxian will be all upset if he punches his husband in his perfect face. “What the fuck, I liked you better when you didn’t have a sense of humour. What, did Wei Wuxian teach you how to make shitty jokes? Tch, he’s such a bad influence.”
“Wei Ying is the best thing that has ever happened to me,” Lan Wangji says immediately. Jiang Cheng wants to gag.
“Yes, I get it,” he groans, lugging the pot to the stove, “you’re disgustingly in love with each other. Do the rest of us have to know?”
“I will not hide it,” Lan Wangji says quietly. He’s started to chop herbs now, as the roots in his pot simmer. “I am not ashamed of him.”
Jiang Cheng is about to retort, but stops himself, looks at Lan Wangji consideringly. “You’re really not, are you.” Lan Wangji shakes his head. “You know,” Jiang Cheng says, “I always thought you hated Wei Wuxian, back before he...thirteen years ago. Wei Wuxian thought you hated him, too.”
Lan Wangji’s hands pause in their motions, and he turns his gaze downwards. “I realise,” he says, slowly, like he’s choosing his words carefully. “It was...not my intention, but I was also at fault. For the misunderstandings which occurred. So, now, I intend on making it clear to him how much…” His ears actually go red - what the fuck, is that how he blushes? Gods, Lans are so weird. Does his brother blush like that too? Does his uncle? Eurgh, what a thought - “How much I love him.”
Jiang Cheng is - torn. On the one hand, that was the sappiest thing he has ever had the misfortune of hearing, and he kind of wants to throw up now. But on the other hand -
“You know, HanGuang-Jun,” he begins, awkwardly. Lan Wangji turns to look at him. Jiang Cheng coughs, and says, “I - I’m glad. That Wei Wuxian has someone like you, to make him happy. You two - and don’t ever repeat this, or bring this up again, because I will kill you - you two deserve each other.”
Lan Wangji gives him an unreadable look, and says, “You also.”
“Me also, what?”
Lan Wangji averts his gaze. “You also...make him happy. He is...glad. That your relationship has started to mend.”
Jiang Cheng promptly erupts into a coughing fit. Lan Wangji hands him a cup of water silently. Jiang Cheng gulps it down hurriedly, feeling his face start to burn. “It’s nothing,” he manages to choke out. “I mean - he’s still my brother, so...I’m kind of obligated to -”
“You care about him,” Lan Wangji says quietly.
“Oh, shut up,” Jiang Cheng groans. “Don’t tell him, he’ll be so fucking smug about it, the bastard.”
Lan Wangji raises one shoulder in what might have been an attempt at a shrug. “I believe he already knows. He will, when you bring him soup.”
“Ugh,” Jiang Cheng says, “I have so many regrets.” He walks over to the pot on the stove, then pauses. “You know, HanGuang-Jun...maybe two pots of soup is too much. Wei Wuxian eats like a pig, but he doesn’t need both of us making food for him.”
“What do you suggest?”
Jiang Cheng shrugs. “Well, since you’ve already started...maybe I’ll just help you out. Help you make the soup a bit more palatable.”
Lan Wangji raises a brow. “I thought it was a Jiang family secret.”
“It is,” Jiang Cheng says, “but I guess, technically, you’ve married in, so. Whatever.”
Lan Wangji says nothing, but the corner of his lip twitches in what might have been his attempt at a smile. He steps aside, and lets Jiang Cheng approach the pot.
“Now,” Jiang Cheng says briskly, before things can get even mushier, “throw out those herbs you’re chopping - yes, all of them - and get some ginger instead. Oh, and that’s not nearly enough spice you’ve added, you know Wei Wuxian’s got a fucking iron stomach, he’s not gonna be happy unless the soup is more pepper than anything else -”
When they carry the soup to the Jingshi a few hours (and culinary mishaps) later, it’s to find Wei Wuxian still swaddled in layers upon layers of blankets, sniffling and looking generally miserable. He brightens immediately when he spots them, however, and would’ve tried to get out of bed had Lan Wangji not set the soup down hurriedly and rushed to tuck him in again.
“My favourite brother and my favourite husband!” Wei Wuxian exclaims, voice thick from the cold. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”
“Soup,” Lan Wangji says, tucking stray locks of Wei Wuxian’s hair behind his ears.
“Lotus rib soup,” Jiang Cheng elaborates, when it becomes obvious that Lan Wangji’s not going to. “A-jie’s recipe. HanGuang-Jun and I made it.”
Wei Wuxian stares at him for a long moment then, horrifyingly, his eyes begin to well up with tears. Alarmed, Jiang Cheng says, “What happened?!” while Lan Wangji grabs Wei Wuxian’s wrist to feel his qi.
“It - it’s nothing,” Wei Wuxian says, voice wavering, “just - you guys did all this? For me?”
“I don’t see any other sick idiots here!” Jiang Cheng snaps.
This just seems to make Wei Wuxian cry harder. “Jiang Cheng! You really do love me!”
“What the - oh, for fuck’s sake, just eat your soup,” Jiang Cheng growls, and slams the bowl down in front of him.
Wei Wuxian takes a huge gulp straight from the bowl like the animal he is, then beams, watery, and says, “It’s delicious! Tastes just like Shijie’s!”
Jiang Cheng shoots Lan Wangji a smug, pointed look, which the other man summarily ignores in favour of dabbing away excess soup from Wei Wuxian’s mouth with his snowy handkerchief.
Wei Wuxian sighs happily, and leans into the touch like a cat. “Ah, this is so great - you guys worked together to do this? You know, both of you are pretty much two of the people I love the most in the whole world - I’m just so happy that you’re finally getting along!”
Ugh, how sappy! Is this really the same Wei Wuxian who used to gag exaggeratedly at the merest sight of couples being affectionate in public? Married life really has softened him.
“Well, don’t get too used to it,” Jiang Cheng warns. “This was a one-time thing.”
Wei Wuxian cackles, and takes another large mouthful of soup. Lan Wangji tuts. “Eat properly.”
Wei Wuxian bats his eyelashes, which is honestly terrifying, and coos, “If Er-gege wants me to eat properly, then why doesn’t he feed me himself?”
“What the fuck,” Jiang Cheng mutters. How is Wei Wuxian so shameless? Surely Lan Wangji won’t -
“En,” Lan Wangji says, picks up the spoon dutifully, and holds it to Wei Wuxian’s lips.
“What the fuck!” Jiang Cheng says, louder. “I’m leaving, I take back everything I just said, the two of you are menaces and I hate you both -”
Wei Wuxian’s laughter follows him out the Jingshi. “Jiang Cheng, don’t lie, you love us ~”
Jiang Cheng actually decides to take a page out of Lan Wangji’s book and yell, “Shameless!”