Chapter Text
They must be happy.
Yuzu must have confessed by now and they are probably thinking about adopting a-
“What is it?”
Jun-hwan was ripped away from his daily world destruction thoughts by Brian’s voice, as the coach made his way through the ice and reached his side. No doubt, he probably looked like he was either going through a mental breakdown or having a full-on panic attack.
Jun believed that he was experiencing both.
“Jun?”
“I just…I might have done something bad?”
Something bad sounded like such an understatement to his own ears.
More like I’m going to be banned from skating once Yuna-shi finds out what I did and then I can never go home again, I’ll never see my family, I’ll never meet my nephews, oh my God-
“Tried to jump a quad Axel?”
“What?”
Jun didn’t remember much of his training session, but he figured that jumping a quad Axel would be something he would recall.
Because he would either be in a hospital or still lying on a heap on the floor. Possibly without all of his bones intact.
“That’s the only thing that would make me mad at this point.” Brian shrugged, resigned that he could no longer really restrain his students like he used to. Not that he had ever full control over Yuzuru’s manic tendencies before or Javier’s chronic oversleeping problem.
But he tried.
“I just lied to a friend…to help another friend get together with another friend.”
He knew how crazy it sounded, but at the moment it was the best description he could give Brian. Well, it was better than giving him names and getting…expelled from the club? Reported to fan police? Okay, he would take the Canadian police, they rode horses and stuff so they must be cool.
“I see, well maybe the end justifies the means?” his coach offered, and for once he was glad that Brian didn’t ask for more questions. Those had come once his training mate was reported missing a few days ago before the news had come out. Normal people would be taking a break or sightseeing, but Yuzuru Hanyu missing practice meant that he was either kidnapped or dead.
“You gave them a shot, Jun.”
For a moment he wanted to deny whatever was going through Brian’s mind but then he realized. He had never been able to hide much from him over the years, Yuzuru’s sudden departure to Spain during the offseason had probably been enough of a sign. Also, the way the internet had blown up once it was announced that the Japanese would join the Revolution on Ice tour had been telling enough of what had probably happened after all.
“What if it doesn’t work?”
There could be a chance that both of them had been too late. Too hopeful. Too naïve to think Javier would still be waiting for Yuzuru to make up his mind and go to him.
It had been years. Maybe, enough years for Javier to heal and move on. Forget about his rink mate and find someone that won’t leave his side whenever their job demanded them to. Someone easy, someone without so many issues attached that even the notion of a relationship sounded like a fantasy.
He guessed that all of these years of guessing would come to an end.
“Then they’ll be sure it’s not meant to be.”
Perhaps that made sense. He was pretty sure that both of them had untold feelings for each other, everyone and their mother knew that, but sometimes feelings weren’t enough.
Feelings meant nothing when two people are just not meant to be together. however, after witnessing Yuzuru’s constant breakdowns in the locker room after Javier left and he had realized he wouldn’t be coming back, he hoped maybe fate wouldn’t be so cruel.
“Yuna’s going to kill me once she talks to him.”
"Hello?"
"Hi, I’m sorry to call you out of a sudden but, I didn’t want to call Javi directly."
"What do you mean?"
"Why would he lie to me like that?"
"He didn’t, listen..."
Yuzuru was running out of time, he was supposed to talk to Javier as soon as he found him, yet here he was, on Javier’s bed for the second night and he still hadn’t found the courage to speak up.
Everything in his life was a matter of calculations. Every single meal, every schedule, every action, and every skate. Except this.
He had no idea how to even start.
So, I’m here because I miss you and I want to know if you kind of like me at least?
Maybe not a good conversation opener.
Jun and I might have lied just so I could get here, but that’s fine because I’m in love with you and love is enough of a reason to do stupid shit right?
Hey, so maybe I lied and Yuna didn’t call me to replace her but does that really matter, I sorta left Canada just so I could make you love me again or if you never did that’s also fine.
Yuzuru was not used to this at all. It was completely foreign to him to expose himself like this and to be open to rejection and possibly anger even.
Seemed a bit…not what he had planned.
Everyone had told him before that Javier shared his feelings for sure, that they would be perfect together, that nobody would ever understand each other as they would. But right now? He was so sure.
So many things could go wrong, and so many things might have changed in two years.
He looked at the sleeping figure across him, babbling something in his sleep. He hadn’t seen Javier look so relaxed in years, retirement, as painful as it had been, suited him. Yuzuru wanted nothing more than happiness for Javier, he wanted him to fulfill all of his dreams of spreading the sport through his country and be proud of everything he achieved.
He couldn’t be selfish now, not with this.
And even if things worked between them, would he force Javier to move for him? Would he move for Javier? Would he make Javier wait for him all year while he competes around the World?
He could handle Javier not loving him, but he couldn’t think of a life where Javier resented him or worse, hated him.
Yuzuru touched his cheek carefully, and as by reflex, Javier’s arms circled his waist and pulled him down onto his chest. It was then that he realized that no matter what the outcome of his stay, to know that Javier was happy thousands of miles away from him, was enough.
“Maybe I should wait.”
“Yuna was supposed to arrive tomorrow.”
“I can’t just show up like this.”
“Well, if you don’t hurry Javi will call her anytime now and your only excuse will be gone.”
“Hola!”, Javier greeted sweetly, as he leaned over the counter and read the nametag hanging onto her shirt, his friendly smile forever present. He wasn’t very confident about his famous Spanish charm as people once called it, but he somehow prayed that it would work this time. Maybe it didn’t work on other Spaniards, but it was worth a try.
He had just woken up and had told Yuzuru that he would be going downstairs to get them some food, he felt bad for lying but at least he would put his mind at ease.
It was also a way for him to spare himself the embarrassment of being caught hugging Yuzuru’s pillow in his sleep while the other one was having a shower.
It could have been worse, he could have tried to hug Yuzuru while he slept or said something stupid while he slept.
“Luna right?”
“Yes?” The girl almost squeaked, as she froze right in the middle of typing something on the reception desk computer.
“I need a room, please,” Javier told her, still careful of her reactions to his sudden request after he was certain that she knew perfectly that he already had a room.
“I thought you already had a room, sir..?”
The way she eyed him suspiciously, probably knowing where the conversation was heading, almost told him everything he needed to know “But I can book you another one if you wish?”
So, they still had vacant rooms.
Things didn’t add up yet again.
“It’s for my friend, Yuzuru? I think you two met?”
The way all the color disappeared from her face was enough of an answer. He hadn’t meant to embarrass the girl, but an explanation was due.
“I-I yes…Mr. Fernández, I swear I just-”
“Luna, I won’t tell anyone that you sold my room number for an autograph,” he tried his best to smile and laugh the matter off, instantly the girl relaxed and started breathing again, “if you tell me exactly what happened, and why he didn’t get a room.”
Luna seemed conflicted but still ended up answering, “I tried to book him a room, but he refused, and I didn’t exactly sell your room number for an autograph…”
What the hell?
“Actually, he offered it in exchange for the information...but after he tried to fire me?”
“You just need to show up and say you talked to Yuna.”
“What if he calls her?”
“Just make sure he doesn’t, try to be around him at all times.”
“No no no, now you turn here and then here!”
“I see! So sorry!”
“It’s fine, really.”
“Everything okay?”
Javier tried his best to arrive on time for their last practice, but he had needed some time to think. After his talk with Luna, he had told Yuzuru he wouldn’t be able to join him for breakfast or drive him to the rink due to some sponsor meeting. He still arranged for some transportation for him and he could use room service to order some breakfast for himself.
Yuzuru had tried to ask him if everything was okay, but Javier just needed to go out and clear his head. He had to think about what had just happened and what he had just learned from the terrified receptionist. Javier promised Yuzuru that they would talk after the final practice, it was the only way to finally get his answers. Perhaps it was time to end the charade that he knew he had been avoiding since Yuzuru had arrived.
Once he got to the rink hours later, everything seemed to be in order, no other skater had gone missing, the tickets were sold out and Yuzuru had caught up with every group choreography, which was predictable. Give him some time and he’ll probably be teaching the others what to do.
And nobody had yet tried to kill him or ship him back to Toronto.
He guessed that the treatment he gave Brian daily, was an exception because most skaters that lingered around Yuzuru for more than five seconds seemed to fall in love with him. Javier didn’t blame them.
“Yes, he’ll be fine.” One of their choreographers said, looking at Yuzuru like he was some cute angel that had descended from the skies to save humanity (or at least figure skating), “More than fine.”
Javier definitely didn’t like where the conversation was heading, and how apparently Yuzuru had managed to buy a replica of his Under Armor training gear while he had left him alone, so he jumped into the ice and gestured for everyone to gather around. “Great, so let’s start from the top.”
“Again?” They all groaned at the prospect of repeating the endless group numbers yet again when they had already done it more than twice in order to fit Yuzuru in. Most of them were dead tired on their feet already, and Yuzuru looked slightly murderous.
Serves you right, little devil.
“Yes, is there a problem?” Perhaps Javier used a bit more of his authoritative tone than everyone was used to hearing in any situation, but today had just been not his day and his patience was already running thin.
“No.” Was the unanimous answer all around the rink as everyone went back to their starting places for the opening act.
You may have everyone wrapped around your little finger, but not today.
“Yuzu, are you sure?”
“Yes.”
“Please be careful, you don’t know anyone over there.”
“I asked some people for a favor, they arranged some transportation for me.”
“Is it really worth it?
“He is.”
“Be safe, son.”
“I’m soooo tired.”
Yuzuru had come straight from the arena to their hotel room and threw himself on top of the bed. Sprawling himself on the covers like a starfish yet again, not really minding that half his limbs landed on top of Javier’s own legs as he sat against the headboard trying to focus on his emails still left unanswered since morning.
“Welcome to old age, they treated you well?” he asked him and shoved Yuzuru’s legs off him.
Yuzuru pouted but slowly rearranged himself and sat up next to Javier, now looking like a normal human being, “They very kind.”
No, they are not very kind. You just look adorable, and people coo at everything you do. If I asked that many questions after arriving without warning for an ice show, people would have thrown me under the Zamboni and not given me candy.
Nonetheless, Javier hummed and offered to take Yuzuru’s brand-new jacket away, “You went shopping?”
“Yes, other Javi offered clothes but he big so Jeffrey took me shopping.” Yuzuru pointed towards the door, and as expected, a mountain of bags sat on a neat pile by the entrance.
Only need your skates my ass.
He ignored the big part and the need to shout that he too was quite big where it mattered, “Good because I don’t have enough clothes for the both of us here.”
Plus, I will die if you keep wearing my clothes.
Yuzuru shrugged and apologized for the trouble, he dragged his feet around the room but finally managed to make himself get to the bathroom to wash up for the night, mumbling “I just want to sleep.” On repeat.
Javier should have asked him about what had happened with Luna, he should have kicked him out of his room and demanded that he got one of his own and most importantly, he should have asked for the real reason why he was in Spain. What were his plans? And why was he suddenly threatening people?
Once Yuzuru silently closed the bathroom door and made his way toward their bed, Javier knew exactly what he was going to do.
It was obvious.
This could no longer go on.
“Yuzu?”
The sleepy creature currently trying to get under the covers, thinking that Javier wouldn’t notice that he was hugging the blankets, made a sound that Javier couldn’t quite catch but supposed it was something like a drowsy “What?”
“Did you remember to bring an inhaler with you?”
“Is he doing okay?”
“Yes, I mean he’s fine.”
“Good.”
“Did you know?”
“No, I found out through the news.”
“Do we really get the whole day off?”
“Yes, it’s tradition.”
“Why?”
Of course, Yuzuru didn’t get the notion of a day off. Javier wondered if he had training sessions on Christmas Day and New Year’s.
What kind of rink would be open though?
Maybe Yuzu owned a rink back in Japan?
After yesterday’s grueling session, he had given everyone the day off so they could enjoy the city one last time. And most importantly, it would be perfect for him to take Yuzuru out and finally talk. As grownups would do.
“While on tour, we all take the day off before the show so we can rest or enjoy the city. It’s very effective.”
Yuzuru paid rapt attention to his surroundings and every detail from the food stalls to the tourist stores selling Las Meninas stuff in every possible choice of souvenir. This was part of the reason why Javier didn’t believe in ghosts, because if they really existed, Velázquez would have already set fire to most shops in Spain.
“Javi very smart sometimes.”
“Sometimes?”
“Yes.”
This little shit.
“I was about to give you an amazing tour around the city, but now you can go and snoop around alone.”
Yuzuru gasped, looking completely offended and betrayed. He pouted and just like the damn cat from the Shrek movie, he opened his wide eyes and for a second he could even spot some incoming tears.
“Javi doesn’t care if I am lost?”
“Javi likes to have big bed to himself so, no.”
Actually, Javier still pondered jumping off a bridge every night he felt Yuzuru’s warm body next to his on the damn huge bed. The first night had been awkward as it could be, as Javier scooted as far away as he could without falling off the mattress. Yuzuru hadn’t moved an inch during the night, and Javier prayed to every God up there, that he subconsciously didn’t turn around in his sleep and somehow managed to throw his arms around him. He didn’t trust his body while he was asleep and very probably dreaming of his bed partner.
On his second night, he had nuzzled Yuzuru’s pillow by accident when he was waking up, but it wasn’t really his fault, he just mistook the pillow for its owner.
Absolutely normal.
When he found Yuzuru looking at him with his furrowed brow, he just told him that he missed cuddling Effie and had dreamed of her that night.
Completely true.
Yuzuru had just asked him if he usually hugged his cat to death like that and threatened to call “animal protection police”.
Yuzuru, in general, wasn’t a messy sleeper, thankfully (because he had no idea what he would do if his ex-training mate ended up on top of him in the middle of the night), but still, he had managed to spook the crap out of him when he woke up and found Yuzuru still asleep with his usual fabulous look: eye open and drooling. Top-notch sleep paralysis demon cosplay.
The last time he had witnessed the cartoonish sight was back when they shared hotel rooms in competitions abroad. So, in the end, yes Javier might like having the bed to himself, but he would enjoy Yuzuru’s stay on it for as long as he could. Sometimes he even woke up earlier just to watch him sleep and pretend it was just their morning routine, that once Yuzuru woke up they wouldn’t just get up and go on like they were nothing to each other but friends.
And just like that, Javier forgot his heart on that bed every day just to take it back every night as he heard a soft whisper in his ear, “Goodnight Javi.”
He never asked Yuzuru if it was just his mind playing tricks on him or if it had been real, but he figured he rather not know.
“Fine I’ll ask other Javi, he told me he could show-”
“Get dressed, we are leaving in five minutes.”
“Hello.”
“Hi, how can I help you?”
“I need room.”
“Of course, do you have any preferences about-”
“Friend stays here, so tell me his room?”
“I’m sorry sir, that is not possible unless your friend-”
“You know who I am right?”
“Yes…?”
“If you tell me room number, I will not make the hotel fire you.”
“Please don’t, room 304, sir.”
“Thank you…humn do you have pen and paper?”