Tuned To The Same Frequency

by hellsheep

Summary:

This is NOT a multi chapter story but a one shot collection! Each one shot can be read individually and out of context to the others though there are references sometimes and the V in them is always the same one.

This is a collection of one shots that follow my V's story and his romance with Kerry Eurodyne. Just a collection of small stories that got into my mind while playing and my attempt to try and discover certain characters and their stories. I mostly write for character study and I stay as true as possible to the game.
Please note that English isn't my native language so please forgive me my mistakes - but feel free to show them to me!

Chapter 1: [Photo Shooting]

Summary:

Not a real chapter. I took my V to a photo shooting so you know who you're dealing with.

Notes:

I figured it might be smart to introduce "my" V to you guys, since every V is different.
Vincent - V - took the corpo path and was actually quite good at it before things went downhill. But he still kept the calculating and cool outside and knows the corpo world quite well which opened up a lot of doors in his new job as a merc. He's been a netrunner back in the days and now uses his hacking skills for... basically everything.
However his time with Jackie also meant that he finally took better care of his body, too. (In other words: intelligence is his main attribute, followed by body.) If he can't solve a problem with netrunner skills - he uses a shotgun.
He has a lot of implants - most of them (and the real expensive ones) are in his head. But it's visible that he also spots a pair of high tech Gorilla Arms.
V is of Mexican heritage even though he was born in Night City and not in Mexico.
He's usually one of the rather cold and calculating kind and doesn't wear his heart on his tongue (corpo world taught him that) but if he warms up to someone, he does it with all of his heart. However he sees no reason in being unfriendly or a dick just for fun. He doesn't think twice if he has to kill but refuses to kill if not absolutely necessary.
Johnny and him became friends - not best buddies, but they started to understand each other.
His canon ending is The Sun.

V's different styles:

1. His professional working style - Arasaka suit jacket with light armour plating, the pants have fortified seams, military netrunner suit underneath. This is merc V.

2. His casual style - though one might argue what V sees as casual. This is cocktail party V - invite him to a cocktail party and he shows up like this. (You might want to reconsider inviting him to a cocktail party).

3. And last but not least: his "Kerry picked my clothes for me because he thinks I look like a corpo rat" style.

 

 

And here's a high resolution close up of V:

Chapter 2: Under Stars

Summary:

Panam invites V to a night under the stars.

Notes:

This one goes out to Panam who just doesn't stop to try to get into V's pants no matter how often he let's her down... just get the hints, girl.

“I hope this isn't one of your great plans again, Panam,” V said accentuated, the faint hint of annoyance in his voice that seemed to be so ever present when she was introducing him to her ideas. However Panam couldn't help it – seeing him on Scorpion's bike, the sun setting behind him, a warm feeling settled in her stomach. He took care of the ride – honoured it – she could see that. Things like that were what made him so special to her.

So why – why! - couldn't she just woman up and ask him for an actual date instead of luring him out into the Badlands under stupid, wrong circumstances?

“Don't worry, V. It's an easy job. Just have to deal with some scavengers that will come around tonight, carrying some valuable junk that does not belong in their hands. It's paid well and easy,” Pan explained and got up from the blanket she'd been sitting on to step next to V, pointing down towards the road in the distance.

 

They'd agreed to meet on top of a small cliff, where one had a good view over this part of the desert while remaining unseen. Of course Panam had made sure that it was more than that – a campfire was already set, she'd brought a blanket, the sky was clear today and would offer a great view on the starry night sky. She could tell him about the constellations, they would drink a beer or two, it would get cold, they would cuddle – her plan was perfect.

The right moment. This time it would be the right moment, the one she'd been looking out for. No Saul sleeping next to them in the shed, no other Nomads being around, no stinky, tight tank to be strapped in. This time he sure wouldn't shy away.

It was... adorable. He was so tough on the outside, calculating and smart but Panam was sure that he had this soft, shy core, buried somewhere underneath this cold netrunner shell. She had seen it a few times already – that soft spot of his. Also – why else would he come and answer her call for help – again?

 

“Come on, sit down. We can crack a cold one together while we wait for the scavengers to show up,” Panam said and patted the spot next to her after dropping down on the blanket again.

“Mhm,” V said but shook his head, “But no beer for me. I haven't slept well the past... four or five nights. Don't think some booze will do me good right now.”

Panam gave him a worried look.

“The thing in your head?”

“The thing in my head.”

She let out a sigh and looked at the two bottles in her hands. So much for her plan to help him loosen up a bit through alcohol...

 

The fire crackled and the noise of cars roaming the big roads seemed to be so far away.

“Sounds like the waves of the sea, don't you think,” Panam said softly.

“Hm?” V seemed to listen for a moment. “Hm... don't know. I think I've heard the constant noises of cars so much that... I blend them out by now and don't hear them at all.” He shrugged. “It's quiet out here, though. So different from the city.”

Panam turned her head to take in his profile. That short black hair, dyed green at the top, these cold white eyes, the beard with the tiny braid. And yet, to her, he looked so vulnerable right now. Who knew what it felt like, to have this biochip eating up ones brain? Panam wanted to hug him. Tell him that everything would be alright. Press him tightly against her bust. Make love to him the whole night.

She scooted closer but the moment their legs touched, V seemed to shift a bit into a different position, breaking the contact.

 

“The clear sky brings out the stars so well,” she said and looked up, pointing at a certain constellation. “The Great Dipper is over there. See it?”

V nodded.

Panam shivered slightly and gave him a helpless look. “Clear sky also means its colder than usual. Guess I should've brought more than just one blanket...” she said, rubbing her arms, her eyes gazing into his.

V raised one eyebrow.

This must be the right moment, she thought, the moment where he sure would embrace her, where she would put her head on his shoulder, and silence would follow and she would be brave enough to take the first step and just kiss him.

Panam blinked in mild irritation, being pulled out of her thoughts when she felt something heavy around her. His jacket.

“That should help,” he said and stretched. “Sorry, Pan. I think I try and... take a nap. I am really done with today. Just wake me up when the scavengers turn up, alright? Don't try to do this thing alone.” He didn't bother to cover his yawn before he curled up on the blanket.

 

Panam stared at him. Great. It was almost fascinating how fast V was able to fall asleep and snore quietly if it wasn't so fucking frustrating. Pan let out a low groan and shook her head, before she decided to simply sit there and stare into the fire.

---

V wasn't as spaced out as Panam thought he was. Like so often these days he didn't really fall asleep. Maybe he was afraid of it. Afraid that he wouldn't wake up again. Not as himself.

Didn't help that he heard Johnny's voice in his head right now when he desperately tried to grab some sleep.

'V. What are you doing. She wants your dick.'

V didn't open his eyes. He knew he would see Johnny's image standing there, smoking his cigarette and giving him this certain the-fuck-are-you-doing-look.

'I know. She's not exactly subtle. And doesn't seem to get my hints,' V answered in his thoughts, knowing Johnny would hear it.

'Ya know you could just give me control for a few minutes there, I will make sure to make her happy...'

'Suuuure. Of course you would. Forget it, Johnny. I am not giving you my body to bone Panam!'

'Oh but I had to watch how you got boned by Kerry?'

'No one forced you to watch and now shut the fuck up, you're giving me a headache.'

And sometimes miracles did happen because Johnny actually did shut up and V promised himself to use this silence to try and take that nap he deserved so much. Even if it was just to get out of that awkward situation with Panam. And indeed he did drift away eventually. Maybe the cold wind helped. Maybe the quiet. Maybe the melody of a certain guitar riff that has been looping in his mind non stop.

---

Panam felt stupid, sitting on this stupid blanket with this stupid camp fire and the stupid stars – and V asleep and snoring next to her. So she got up and decided to wander around a bit, she felt like stretching her legs. No scavengers would come. She'd lied to V about it, to get him out here, just the two of them. Now she felt stupid because of it. But she would let him sleep – he deserved a peaceful rest. At least one. Maybe she should've been honest from the start. Just tell him: V, I like you. Want to go out for a date under the stars? We can shoot at things later.

But she didn't.

Panam sighed and was about to kick a stone from the cliff when she felt a vibration in her pocket. She pulled out the cellphone basically on instinct and it came to her too late that she wasn't wearing her own jacket right now – and that this wasn't her phone at all.

Her eyes already locked on the message that popped up on the screen:

'Planning to :) don't really know if there's anything left to conquer though. You're already mine, right? (I know, I knooooow, it's cringe. But I couldn't hold myself back!)'

Suddenly she felt like being thrown into cold water, torn between dropping the phone and reading the whole conversation.

“Fuck, Panam... this is private... don't read it...” she whispered to herself. “Don't. Read. It.” But her hand obviously had other plans than her head because she already opened the whole conversation and even though she was still mumbling to herself to not read a thing that was part of V's private love life – she couldn't stop reading.

 

“Fuck. I am such a gonk!” she called out, louder than she wanted to and started to walk in circles. “So stupid. I'm so stupid.”

“Pan...”

“I'm so dense! How could I not see it? Fuck, I made such a fool out of myself!”

“Panam...”

“Like – the fuck. Of course he's gay. Of course he's already seeing someone! What was I even thinking?!”

“Panaaaaaaam.”

 

She froze and then stared at V who was sitting on the blanket, obviously awake and holding out his hand towards her. “My phone? Pretty please?”

 

She made a tiny, helpless sound and dropped it into his palm before dropping down next to him, her head hanging, her face buried in her hands in shame.

“I'm so sorry V. I shouldn't have read your messages,” she mumbled.

“It's okay. It's not cool, but it's okay. No hard feelings though.”

Slowly she lowered her hands and dared to look at him.

“You must think I'm a complete gonk.”

V laughed a bit – it was nice to hear him laugh, it was nice to see him relax... at least a little bit.

“Nah. Honestly? I feel flattered. In another life, you and me could've been something, maybe. Sorry. I should have been straight with you from the start. About... you know. Not being straight.”

Panam shook her head. “I should've gotten your hints in the first place.” She let out another long sigh but found herself to feel better already. He wasn't mad at her. That was important.

 

Panam looked at him and for a while they just shared silence before a tiny smirk crossed her face.

“But... Kerry Eurodyne? The Kerry Eurodyne? I mean... even a desert girl like me knows him. Does that mean you're the boy toy of a rocker legend, V?” she joked.

“Hey. Am no ones toy”, V said with a frown on his face and Panam already felt sorry for her words.

She cleared her throat. “So I guess it's something more serious, then...?” she asked softly.

V dropped his gaze, shrugging. “Maybe.”

“You like him?”

“A lot.”

“He likes you?”

“I'm sure he does.”

Panam smiled a warm smile and put a hand on his shoulder. “Then I am happy for you, V. You deserve it.” Her smile faded and suddenly a hint of worry crossed her face. “Does he know about...” she started and V nodded.

“Yeah.”

Conversation over. No talking about the biochip.

 

For a while they sat in awkward silence. Panam wasn't sure what to say to a dying man... she'd already assured him that he had a family and that this family would do everything to help him save his life from the biochip.

But then Panam smiled again. She'd seen a part of V in those messages, a part he didn't show. In the end she'd been right – he had a soft side. Somewhere inside of the man in front of her was a caring, loving person. A person who would send smileys to his lover and tell him that he missed him. And she suddenly found herself to be okay with the fact that she wasn't the one receiving those words.

“So...” she said. “... tell me about your first date with him?”

V gave her a surprised look. For a second or two she could swear that he would just block again, not answering her question. But then he relaxed a bit and she noticed something warm in his eyes and that hint of a smile on his face.

“Well it was on top of a roof, Night City to our feet...”

 

Chapter 3: Never Fade Away

Summary:

If you leave Night City, you leave more behind than just your life.

Notes:

Careful: Spoiler ahead for one of the endings of the game! So this is actually not a canon short story for my V, since this is not his canon ending. His canon ending is the Afterlife ending (The Sun), even though he's a corpo V. But that's maybe a story for another time. However I recently took a look at the other paths too – Arasaka and the Nomad ending. And boy did I dislike the Nomad ending. And I disliked it so much, that it gave me the idea for this one-shot.
Enjoy.
Also, please keep in mind that English isn't my native language so please forgive me my mistakes – but feel free to show them to me!

“You're listening to his voice mail again, V? For how many times now? It's been a month... don't you think you need to start to let go...?” Panam's voice was just a careful whisper in the night as she sat next to him.

V lifted his head, his gaze met hers. He narrowed his eyes a bit and let his phone vanish into his pocket.

“I'm starting to believe he's right,” he said after a while.

A puzzled look crossed Panam's face. “About what?”

V made a wide gesture with his right arm. “This. Let's face it, Panam. This is not me. You guys you... bloom here. Cassidy sleeps tight at night like a damn baby and I can't stop tossing around in my tent. I just don't get used to the silence. There is no noise at night. And there is sand everywhere. In places where I don't want sand to be.”

“Just give it some time...”

V shook his head. “I don't have time, Panam. I thought you were aware of that.” He turned his head away, his face grim. V wasn't very accepting of his death.

Panam picked up a pebble and threw it into thorny bushes.

“You want to go back to him.”

“...”

“He didn't even bother to call once after that voice mail, right?”

“Neither did I.”

“V. I hate to be that straight but you've been nothing than a joy toy to a rich celebrity guy.”

“Stop.”

“J-just because someone desires you doesn't mean they value you, V!” she begged. Tried to make him understand. Tried to get it into his thick skull.

“Stop before you say something you'll regret!” V's voice was sharp. Dangerously sharp. “You have no idea what you're talking about.”

“He dropped you, V!” Panam was almost yelling into his face now.

V grit his teeth and swallowed the anger.

“I never really gave him a fucking choice now, did I!? Just dropped this decision on him. New life, new V. My decision. My adventure. Me running off with my Nomad friends and expecting him to leave everything behind and follow me like a love sick teenager into this hell hole that you guys call life.” Panam backed off. It stung that he carefully used the word friends – not family.

And boy, V's anger was infective.

“Now you better fucking think about what you're saying before you regret it!” she hissed and poked his chest, a deep frown on her face. V held her angry gaze only for a few seconds before he sighed. He had no time for fights.

“Sorry, Pan. Didn't mean it like that. You folks are great and helped me when I needed you all the most. And it's not- I mean- do you know that feeling when you meet someone and you just know that... he's the one missing piece?” He got up and dusted his trousers off from sand. Damn sand. It was everywhere.

Panam's gaze lingered on him, brown eyes cloaked in sad shadows. “I do know that feeling.”

 

V walked over to his tent, Scorpion's loyal bike was already packed with little he owned. Panam quickly followed him.

“You're serious about this,” she mumbled. “You are really going to leave and go back to Night City. What is with all your talk about freedom, about-”

V turned around. “You call this freedom? 'tis just another cage, Panam. Eating Possums, looting junk, roasting in the evening sun and freezing in a cold night. Besides I constantly have to worry about my... my condition. Not easy finding a Ripper Doc out here with the skill of Viktor.” He shook his head and took off his jacket – the Aldecaldo jacket.

“I'm sorry, Panam. Don't think I am not grateful but I want to go home.”

“But V... you are home. You have a family here. People that care about you...”

“I already had that. And threw it away.”

She caught the jacket and stared at it like it was a hissing snake. When she lifted her gaze again, she already saw V sitting on the bike, the engine running.

“See ya, Panam.”

Later, much later, Panam was still standing at the very spot V had left her. It was Mitch who pulled her out of her sulking.

“Ya know what they say,” he hummed and took a sip from a can of beer. “You can get the rat out of the corp, but you will never get the corp out of the rat.”

“Mitch...” she sighed.

“He thought he owed us because of Teddy, Bob... because of Saul. Their deaths lie heavy on his soul. I hope he knows that he doesn't owe us anything at all.”

Panam took in a deep breath and looked over to the thin line of orange that took a peek over the horizon. It would be a beautiful sunrise. And a beautiful day. She nodded slowly. “Me too, Mitch... me too.”

 

 

A thing of beauty — I know
Will never fade away
What you did to me — I know
Said what you had to say
But a thing of beauty — I know
Will never fade away
And I'll do my duty — I know
Somehow I'll find a way
But a thing of beauty
Will never fade away
And I'll do my duty

 

Samurai – Never Fade Away

 

 

V was exhausted. His body wanted to give up. Coughed up blood a few times. Yet he'd only stopped when he had to. And it had been a hell long of a ride. If he would've flatlined somewhere in the Badlands no one would've been there. No one would've found him.

But he'd made it. And now he and his bike stood in front of the large mansion that gazed over the eternal neon lights of Night City.

V had to admit – it felt good to be back on familiar roads. Yes, the city was a whore, was Babylon, was a monster with several heads that swallowed everything that came through it's throat. But that was the point. There had been a time when he was the one who had this beast at it's throat. Was on top. Became a Night City legend. He couldn't tame this beast. But boy could he ride it.

What he couldn't ride any more, however, was his bike. The moment he tried to get off, he fell. Met the asphalt face forward.

“Shit...” he mumbled, his vision blurry and he could swear something was alive in his stomach and wanted out. He gave himself some time, just lying there on the ground before he pulled himself up again, forced his body to work. He threw in a pill he'd bought from a very arguable guy on the road and felt his neurons boosting up. Whatever drug it was, it helped him to walk straight again.

 

He straightened his back and let a hand wander through his hair, wondering if he looked as shitty as he felt like. Probably covered in dust and sand and whatnot.

V could hear music blasting inside, rock music. Kerry's own songs, actually. He wondered on what trip Ker was that he needed to listen to his own songs on blasting volume.

Standing in front of the door, his hand hovering over the bell, he hesitated. Maybe he should've called Kerry before stumbling up on his front yard.

“Well that's too late now, right Joh-” A sting in his chest. He still sometimes forgot. In times like these however...

Damn he could've used a voice of advice. Even if it was something like: shit, V, don't do that, you're stupid.

 

V pressed the button. The screen said 'calling'. Once again he tried to straighten up but felt like he had to lean on the wall.

It took a while until the door opened -

And there he was.

Standing right in front of him.

“Kerry Eurodyne.”

“Fuck. V.”

Kerry just looked at him, something unreadable in his eyes. Bewildered? Glad? Surprised? Angry?

V couldn't tell but Kerry turned around to shout something into the house.

“Alright folks, party is over, everyone out...!”

V tried to get a peek over Kerry's shoulder, hearing annoyed calls of protest and voices and the music suddenly getting turned off.

“I am serious, get the fuck outta here you lead heads!” Kerry shouted again, as charming as ever and V couldn't help but smile. The same fire, still burning.

A couple of people all somewhere on the scale between tipsy and dead ass drunk started to leave the house. The lack of clothes on all of them was kind of worrying. A young man seemed to hesitate, starring at Kerry. “Hey... you're going to give me a call, right?” he asked but got no answer. “Right?”

And with that Kerry slammed the door shut behind himself and V.

 

“Bad moment?” V asked and followed Kerry inside, towards one of the white couches, carefully avoiding to step into anything he didn't want to step in.

“Meh” was the answer. “Not really. Party was about to bore me any way.”

Kerry dropped on the couch, his arms over the rest.

V slowly sat down opposite of him. He wasn't too confident to throw his body around right now. Not even for simply falling into some cushions.

But then something seemed to fall off from Kerry. His face was suddenly full of worry and there was this hidden, lingering pain in his eyes.

“V, shit. You look awful.”

“Thanks, Ker. You look great too,” V joked half-assed.

“I mean it. What happened to you? Shit. You didn't come here to- shit. Tell me you didn't drop by to say some... some final...”

“No, no no no, Ker. Chill. Man, what are you thinking? That I would be so petty to not give you a call for a month and then drop on your door step, breathing my last breath? Come on. Thought you'd know me better.”

Kerry frowned, it was clear that he didn't fully buy it.

“I just had an ass long ride behind me. Been on the road for three straight days. Exhausted, that's all”, V said, feeling the need to assure him that he was alright.

“Cool. Cool,” Kerry said, nodding slowly. “You brought some olives?”

V raised an eyebrow in confusion. “Olives?”

“Yeah. My Martini's looking sad without them.” Kerry gave a nod towards one of the many glasses on the table.

V chuckled. “ 'fraid not.” A warm smile stretched over his face but it faded away as quick as it came. “Ker... look. The reason I'm here...”

“... is to tell me you're sorry? And hope that I maybe forgive you? Or wanna load some shit on me, rather? That everything is my fault, telling me how I should've followed you and stick with you and drop everything?”

V fell silent. Held his gaze with ease. “Yeah. Actually I am here to tell you I'm sorry.”

Kerry looked... baffled. And for once he was out of words, it seemed. V used this moment to get up and sit down next to Kerry. He reached out with his hand, hesitating just for a moment but then he put it on Kerry's thigh, squeezing it lightly.

“I should've never left. Not you, not Night City. I thought leaving was what I had to do. To get my head clear, to get away from... all of this shit. Arasaka, Mikoshi, Johnny... everything. And I guess I was so full of it that I didn't even take a lame second to think about what you wanted. And I was mad at you when I found out you didn't wanted the same thing. But the truth is... that you were right. That life, on the road, in the desert...” V shook his head gently, still holding Kerry's gaze. “... it's not mine. And I missed you, Ker. Every damn second out there in this ugly desert I missed you.”

 

That moment it broke over Kerry. “Fuck, V...” he whispered and buried his face in his hands for a moment, his voice shaking so slightly. Dropping his hands, he let his gaze wander around restless. Looking everywhere, just not at the man sitting next to him. “When you left... at first I was riding a damn high. Working on the new album. New demo's. Felt like I finally owned this damn city. But the shadows, V... they came back.”

“Kerry...”

“No. You hear me out now, Mister I-drop-by-in-the-middle-of-the-night-without-even-giving-a-warning-call.” Kerry faced him now, biting his lip for a second to stop it from trembling. “At first I could keep the thoughts at bay, new music helped me, booze did the rest. But every silent hour that I was alone with myself I couldn't stop thinking about it, seeing you somewhere far away, dead, somewhere in the desert, I couldn't even-” He took in a sharp breath and blinked. “I was scared back then. I am still scared. I don't want to lose you, V. There. Said it. I don't want to lose you.”

V's hand moved from Kerry's thigh to his shoulder.

“I didn't plan any of this Kerry. I'm sorry.”

“Fuck you are. Asshole”, Kerry said and suddenly stood up. “Follow me. Wanna show you something.”

He made a hasty gesture with his hand, not even turning around to check if V was really following as he already headed towards the stairs and the upper part of the apartment.

Feeling another wave of exhaustion washing over him and hoping that this damn pill would just do it's job, V slowly got up and followed upstairs.

 

Kerry was standing next to a large bed that didn't looked totally trashed and held a data pad in his hand. He didn't lift his gaze and just waved V towards him. “C'mere”

V dragged himself to the bed, happy that Kerry didn't see how awfully slow he moved.

“So? What's this about?” he said, sitting down at the end of the bed.

“Sssh” Kerry hushed him and then fell on the bed himself, his arms crossed behind his head.

For a few seconds the room was filled with silence but then V heard the music. The volume was still set on loud from the party earlier – but the song sounded different.

Much different.

V relaxed. A smile slowly showed up on his face. This time it was about to stay. The tension and even the exhaustion fell from him like a dirty coat and he allowed himself to lay back, next to Kerry, starring at the ceiling too, listening to the raw, unfinished melody and lyrics of this demo song.

But damn it was the most beautiful thing he experienced since...

 

Since he had heard it being played on a single guitar while sailing the Seamurai into the sunset and it's burning and exploding doom.

“I know that song,” V said softly.

“You're the only one who does, at this moment. Yeah you and a few guys in the studio, obviously. It's still not finished. Still needs polishing... but guess what it's about.”

“Me?” V chuckled.

“Damn right.”

Kerry propped himself up on one elbow so he could look at V.

 

V reached up with one hand, cupping Kerry's cheek. He felt how he relaxed into this touch and for a second V bothered to waste a thought on why the hell he'd thought that it was a good idea to trade this man for a life on the road. For a moment they remained like this, a gentle touch and just music between them, no words. But then V pulled Kerry down into a thirsty kiss. Almost desperate his hands clawed into bleach blond hair and judging from the playful bite that he gave V on his neck, Kerry didn't mind about the rough treatment.

 

V's heart skipped a beat in anticipation when Kerry just tore the shirt of his body before he got rid of his own. Not a moment later they were entangled again, body pressed against body, lips pressed against lips.

“I swear V... you reek of oil and dust and sand and lack of shower,” Kerry growled against V's ear.

“Ah. Turns you on, doesn't it?”

“If I wasn't so fucking hard into you, I would throw you into the pool. No questions asked.”

“We can do that later, if you want,” V murmured.

 

Kerry backed away from V for a moment, for the sole purpose to look into his eyes again. “V. If you dare to leave me again... then I will find you and break your legs,” he growled.

“I make mistakes, Ker. But not the same mistakes twice,” V answered, his breath still going heavy. He was worked up. No doubt in that.

“I see you're a smart boy,”, Kerry smirked. “But for now let's just... just shut up. We have a lot of catching up to do.”

V said nothing. His smile turned into a grin before he pulled Kerry down into his arms again, into another heated kiss.

 

This moment. In this city. With this man. Right here. Right now. It was where he belonged to. Always would.

 

And he would never allow himself to fade away from it again.

Chapter 4: Fish Kinilaw

Summary:

Kerry is full of surprises.

Notes:

Originally I had planned for a different one shot than this one but it will be one with a heavy topic and I felt like writing some more damn fluff and a bit of character exploration and their roots and origins, so her ya go.
This one shot is set after the canon ending for this V - the Afterlife ending. (called "The Sun")
It's also inspired by a Gig in game in which you have to steal Kerry's guitar from a crazy Samurai fan but...
you will see.

As always, please keep in mind that English isn't my native language so please forgive me my mistakes - but feel free to show them to me!

“The fuck you think you're doing, V?” Kerry's voice was sharp. Angry. Promised a fight.

“What's the problem? I need to delta. Am late already,” V answered as calm and casual as possible. He didn't want an argument. Not another one.

“Yeah that is exactly the problem, gonkbrain!”

“Look. Kerry. What ever it is, I'm sure it can wait until tonight. Need to be at the Afterlife in like... 10 minutes ago-” V said and tried to pull Kerry into a hug but the other man just winded out of it and took an angry drag of his cigarette before poking V's chest.

“Don't you Kerry me like that. You always do this when you don't want to talk. And you never want to talk. And every time you come home at night after promising the same shit you're either too tired or too exhausted or not in the mood. And we don't end up talking, we don't end up fucking either, we don't even end up cuddling. Fuck, V. I am not letting you off like that today.” Kerry threw a glance at V, some dangerous fire in his eyes, before he flicked the cigarette butt into an ash tray and stared at the City to their feet, leaning on the balcony railing.

V frowned and crossed his arms over his chest, feeling the need to get defensive. Oh yeah, the argument was coming alright.

“Maybe talking to you when I get home would be easier if you weren't either drunk or high or both,” he snarled.

“Oh, sure. It's my fault then, like always. Fuck. I sometimes wonder how much of Johnny is left inside of you. It's impossible to get things into that thick skull of yours sometimes. You should go and see Viktor and let that chip of yours getting checked for remains of an engram!”

V's frown got deeper. He hated it when Kerry pulled the you're-just-like-Johnny-card. However sometimes he wondered how much his own personality had been altered... he kept telling himself that it didn't but... he couldn't even tell any more.

 

“V... you think I don't notice the blood strains on your pillow...” Kerry said after a few moments of angry silence. His gaze was glued at some point on the horizon and for a moment, V thought, he actually looked very old. Implants, money and organic food could do a lot but sometimes, the weight of life's years would simply show. “You promised me you would take things easier after that last, big thing... wasn't even sure you would come back alive from fucking space... but you did. And man I was glad you did.”

V stepped beside him, putting an arm around his shoulder. This time Kerry didn't back off.

“It's not fair to ask you to watch me die.”

Kerry turned his head to the side.

“But I am all out on fair, Ker...” V continued.

“You know that I'm going to stay with you til- - you know I am going to stay,” Kerry assured him, “but that's the point, I want the time we got...- I want it to be our time, I want to spend it together,” he continued with emphasis.

It hit V like a truck at full speed. He'd been diving deep into his job as Night City's Bad Boy, head of the Afterlife, taking one Gig after another to throw himself into life so he could avoid to think about death. But each day was a day less with Kerry.

He'd taken him for granted.

What a big, fucking mistake.

All of a sudden V felt like a piece of shit. Maybe he did become like Johnny. Neglecting the people that cared about him, only thinking about himself. He leaned heavy on the balcony railing.

“Fuck...” he whispered, more to himself though. “I'm so sorry, Kerry. Been a selfish bastard the past couple of weeks. Took you for granted.”

“Yeah better not do that. Lot of people want me. I'm famous,” Kerry said and V had to chuckle a bit. He stood up straight again, cupped Kerry's cheek with one hand to gently force him to face him. The kiss was soft. Almost shy. Yet sweet. Reminded V of a first time. Their first time.

“Way to make me shut up, V,” Kerry said with a smirk but still lingered a while into V's touch before he went to go inside. V followed him.

 

“We could go to my place in Florida. Bet sun will do you good... we could go right now. Or how about we just stay here, we get naked on the couch and binge watch the latest season of Watson Whore and I cook something nice, or we-”

“Wait wait wait,” V interrupted him. “You want to cook? You can cook? I saw you doing a lot of things but cooking wasn't one of them.”

“Surprised?” Kerry asked, turning around after he gave the coffee machine the order to brew him a cup.

“Yeah. Actually I am,” V said honestly.

“Learned to cook from my Mom when I was a kid. Said no woman would want a man who can't cook for himself.”

V laughed. “Bet that turned out well for you.”

“Never was good at it, though. Later, when I returned to the Philippines, after parting ways with Samurai... I picked it up again. Figured it's good for the soul. These days... neglected it like I neglected so many parts of myself. But hey... some soul food might do you good now. Might do us good. What ya say?” Kerry took the cup, sipped a bit of coffee, his eyes on V.

“Well pinch me in, I say. But I probably can't do more than watch. Never bothered to learn to cook for myself... hell I had a Burrito vendor in my old apartment, even. Want me to go and buy whatever you need?”

“Nah gonna order it online aaand...” Kerry started and his eyes began to glow in blue light while he was silent for a few moments “... it's on the way.”

V was surprised how fast Kerry went through whatever ingredients he needed and wondered if he'd something like this in mind for a while now. He didn't want to ask, though, because it would just remind him of how much he'd neglected Kerry lately.

He got pulled out of his thoughts when his phone rang. V let out a sigh before picking up and threw a glance at Kerry, noticing the frown on his face.

“Yeah what's up – no – not that, just not coming in today – yeah – because I say so. No. - yeah tell Claire to shut the place at the usual time. - No I don't. Yep. Do that. See ya.” V hung up, his eyes still on Kerry he noticed that the frown turned upside down into a smile.

“And with that I am fully yours for tonight,” he said and turned his phone off.

“Just for tonight, hu?”

“Let's... not get ahead of ourselves. We'll see. Alright Ker?”

It looked like Kerry decided to take what he could get and also made the wise choice not to comment it any further. It would otherwise end up in another argument, V was sure about that.

 

Later...

 

“So what are we having?” V asked curiously, his eyes on the All 'Ganic bag while Kerry started to unpack.

“Well had to improvise a bit, but kinilaw is made different in every province any way so who cares. So we got some rice... coconut vinegar, spices because I am sure you don't have any here, chili, ginger, veggies to the side with bit of coconut milk, garlic-”

“Wait wait is that a real garlic clove?” V picked it up, to take a good look at it.

“What money can buy ya. I mean it has to be the good stuff, organic stuff V... if this 'posed to be some food for the soul I have to make sure it's none synth crap. But if you're already fascinated by some garlic, man, you should see this. Hard to get some catch of the day but it will do.” And with that Kerry pulled out a package of frozen fish.

V's eyes widened a bit. That must've cost a fortune. Then again... nobody really cared about money in this household...

“Ever eaten real fish?” Kerry asked.

“Yeah. You know being a corpo rat wasn't only puking my lungs out in the office toilet because of stress. Had it's perks, too. I remember one business trip to Japan, to Arasaka head quarters... we ate Sushi there, real Sushi, cook made it in front of our eyes from real fish.”

Kerry scoffed. “Looking at you it's really hard to imagine that you've been a cog in the corpo wheel of Arasaka,” he said and went through the cupboards. “Gotta see if you're stocked up on good knives and pans... you ever use this kitchen?”

“I use the coffee machine.”

“Uhu.”

“And the fridge. I think there's a bottle of juice in there...?”

 

Kerry found what he was looking for and started to cut up the vegetables.

“So we're having kinilau?”

“Kinilaw. Not the most famous thing, but I doubt you would know any of that any way. V... I think I never asked you that but... where are your roots? Where are you from?”

V shrugged, leaning against the kitchen cabinet as he watched Kerry doing his thing.

“Been a Night City boy, always. Born here. Parents came all the way from Mexico. Never been there myself, though. We were poor, I had the chance to make it big in the Corpo world so... guess I did exactly that, feeling that I owed my parents... well, they got killed in a gang fight and after that I was stuck in the office 'til shit went down the drain, as you know. Now only thing my parents ever left me was my name, Vincent.”

“Yeah. Not gonna start and call you that.”

“Much appreciated.”

V stretched, folding his arms behind his head. “You know... getting snuffed out with a bullet and wake up with a terrorist slash rock star in your head really puts life into perspective... felt like everything I've done before... just didn't matter at all and was a useless waste of my life. Time I gladly would take back, now that I am running out of it.”

Kerry stopped for a moment and lifted his head, throwing a worried look at V. “Hey just for tonight can we... not talk about this?”

V lowered his arms, a look of mild surprise on his face. “Yeah. Sure.” He frowned. Sometime he felt like Kerry was just ignoring the fact that he would most likely die in a couple of months, granted he was still searching for a miracle and not entirely giving up but... chances were more close to zero than zero was to one. Maybe he wouldn't even see through the winter. And it made V angry and bitter that Kerry often seemed to act like it wouldn't happen but he came to realize that it wasn't ignorance. It was like cooking and staying home one night – the attempt to at least try and have a somewhat normal life. Even if it was just for that one night. Carefree. And free of shadows.

 

“You know what this reminds me of?” V suddenly said and pushed himself off the cabinet to start and search for a shard that he'd been hiding somewhere in his office desk.

“What – me cooking? That reminds you of something?” Kerry shouted from the stove. The room was already filled with the delicious smell of fried garlic and chili, mixed with the sweet smell of coconut milk. It truly was mouth watering.

“Yeah. You cooking. I had a Gig not so long ago. Had to steal uh... something from a crazy Samurai fan,” V said and finally found the shard. A wicked smile showed on his face as he returned to Kerry.

“So I went through his stuff to... find what the client wanted and found this little piece of valuable data,” he continued and handed Kerry the shard.

“Is that porn?” Kerry asked, raising an eyebrow.

V tried to look as innocent and casual as possible and shook his head. “Better. Come on, take a look... I promise you'll have a good laugh. I sure had one.”

 

Kerry was still suspicious but took the shard, inserted it and soon his eyes had a blue glow and V could see that he was reading. And while he did, the look on his face could probably only be described as 'what the serious fuck am I reading here?!'

 

“ -'I know, Kerry said and smiled with a tear in his eye... And because he felt the same way he put his lips on Johnny's and kissed him warmly and softly, the tear falling from his cheek... Then he smiled, breathed deeply and slowly and whispered in Johnny's ear – And now we'll always be together...'” Kerry read out loud and it had V bursting out in laughter. “What the serious fucking hell! Is that... fucking fan fiction of me and Johnny?! From fucking 2021? Holy fuck, someone please wipe my memories because I will never recover from this shit! And stop laughing, you gonk! This is horrible! And seriously awfully written!”

It took a few seconds until V was able to breath and talk again and he had to wipe a tear out of his eye, still grinning like an idiot.

“You should've seen yer face, Ker. Hilarious,” he chuckled. “That what it means to be famous, hu?”

Kerry rolled his eyes and checked the dish that was steaming on the stove. “People writing cringey fan fiction about you is not even in the top ten of crazy stuff fans will do,” Kerry said and turned to face V, crossing his arms over his chest.

“You mean crazy stuff like selling you Militech weapons, drugs and black market C-6? But hey at least you're better at cooking than the version of you on that shard,” V smirked and threw a glance at the steaming pots. “I hope.”

Kerry walked towards V, who was leaning against the kitchen counter again.

“You hope. Dare to hurt my pride again and I'm gonna hurt you,” Kerry said with lowered voice, locking eyes with V who suddenly felt like prey. A rush of heat was running through his whole body when Kerry put his hands to the left and right of his hips, basically leaning against him.

“Dinner needs to steam a bit,” Kerry said and forced his knee between V's legs, pressing his thigh against his dick – that happily answered by getting hard and making his pants uncomfortable tight. Yeah, maybe he'd not only neglected Kerry's needs for a while...

V took in a sharp breath, resting his arms on Kerry's shoulders.

“Quickie on the kitchen counter?” he asked.

“Quickie on the kitchen counter,” Kerry answered with a smirk.

Not a moment later both men were busy to get out of their pants, soon being lost to each other, lost into each other.

 

It should turn out to be an appetizer to a night of being naked on the couch, a night of binge watching Watson Whore, a night to teach V that Kerry was always full of surprises – like being an exceptional good cook – a night of drifting towards sleep into each others arms for once.

 

It was long past midnight, Kerry's head against V's chest, his quiet snoring being the only thing that filled the room until a low coughing added to it. V wiped his mouth. Even in the darkness he saw something wet shimmering on his hand, knowing it was blood. He knew he was running low on life time. V turned his head a bit, to take look at the sleeping Kerry.

So he better made damn sure he spent it well.

Notes:

So I've never eaten traditional dishes from the Philippines and had to rely on Google here so I hope I didn't do anything wrong on the Kinilaw part!
Also the Johnny/Kerry fan fiction that's mentioned in the story is NOT my idea. It is a shard you can actually find in the game, you can find it on the table in the apartment of said Samurai fan when doing the Gig to steal Kerry's guitar (I think it's a Gig done for The Padre). The whole thing is hilarious. If you ever get the chance, find that shard and read it.

Chapter 5: A Vision Of Your Memories

Summary:

V explores some of Kerry's shadows.

Notes:

This is not the planned one shot I was talking about earlier though there are hints about it in this one here too.
This one is actually inspired by mails and files that you can find in game on Kerry's laptop and some of them... raise questions?
I tried to answer them in his one shot.
The title, "A VISION OF YOUR MEMORIES", is a WIP song by Kerry, you can find it on his terminal.

“Kerry never did get it - only one thing worse than unfulfilled dreams. Dreams that come true.”

- Johnny Silverhand

V woke up.

It was the first good night sleep he had since days. The, well, intense exercise of the night probably took part in that... waking up with a 'where am I, who am I and what year is it' feeling was something that barely happened these days.

V groaned, annoyed by the fact that his brain had decided to finally kick him out of the world of dreams and he slowly opened his eyes, blinked because the happy, bright sun shone right into his face through large walls of glass – couldn't call that a window.

His hand reached out behind him but he felt that the other side of the bed was empty. And turning around told him: yes, he was alone.

Rubbing his eyes he searched the floor next to the bed for his pants and even managed to reach into their pockets without falling out of the bed.

“What time is it...” he mumbled to himself but instead of noticing the clock on the phone screen, he noticed a message set on unread.

“Hey :*

didn't want to wake someone who snores like a truck driver but didn't want to stay in bed either. went to get special coffee and breakfast. make yourself at home but would be preem if you don't delta already, thou I kno you're busy.

- Kerry (yours!)”

 

V smiled like a gonk at his phone but then he actually noticed the time and cursed under his breath. 'Shit. Already 10... that contract for the Padre should've been closed yesterday night already and here I am....' He got up, gathering his clothes that were scattered on the floor all around the bed but then held still for a moment.

Ah fuck it.

He was late already.

So might as well have breakfast with Kerry.

Deciding that it would be smart to hit the shower first and kill some time through that, he dropped his pile of clothes on the bed and went for the bath room.

'Wow. Kerry never bought me coffee. Or breakfast.' He noticed Johnny leaning against the door. V gave him an annoyed look (and as always felt stupid for looking like that at something that was nothing but a product of his mind). 'Well you probably never earned it', he answered.

He could hear Johnny scoff. 'Gladly pass on that if I had to do with him what you did the night.'

V rolled his eyes, opening his mouth for a second before he reminded himself that there was no need to talk out loud. 'Are you going to comment on my sex life all the time now? Is it because I am not into chicks? That your problem, Mister Rockstar, Sir?'

While standing under the warm water, V could basically feel Johnny's cocky smirk, spread all over his face.

'Nah. But I mean... it's Kerry.'

'Okay, sorry for fucking your friend from your old band days. There. Happy?' V turned around, stepping out of the shower, but he couldn't see Johnny any more. Frowning he dried himself, slipped into his shorts and threw himself on the couch.

He had a few calls to make, a few messages to answer, a few jobs to check.

 

'Am actually glad it's you. And not some celebrity hungry fuck boy who wants him for his money or for his fame or fuck I know. Glad it's someone who wants him for his Rocker Boy heart, someone who helped him find himself again.'

V blinked in surprise, staring at a smoking Johnny, who looked out of the large windows, eyes hidden behind large sun glasses. Truth be told V didn't know to react to these words. It was easier for him to get along with the Johnny who made snarky remarks, who told him he was a gonkbrain, who had sarcastic comments about the fucked up corpo world – but the Johnny who opened up his heart to him? Difficult to handle. But not unwelcome.

“I... thanks, Johnny, I mean-” V said out loud, not even realizing. But something interrupted him. A noise of an incoming video call on the open laptop on the table. Not his laptop. Not his video call.

V decided to ignore it.

'Might be important,' Johnny said.

V's eyes were back on his phone. 'Not my business.'

A minute passed by. And another one.

Who ever called was persistent.

Very persistent.

'Not even curious? At least shut down the laptop, that noise is annoying as fuck.'

V lifted his gaze. His eyes fell on the name on the screen – Louise Nordin Eurodyne.

Veeeery persistent.

'If I shut the laptop she'll think he's home and wants her to fuck off.'

That name though. Must be family... maybe there was a reason she was persistent. Maybe it was important indeed. It would be just fair to at least tell her that Kerry wasn't home right now but would be soon and call back. Right? Right. Though V did wonder why this Louise didn't try it on his phone...

Letting out a sigh V leaned forward and hit the button to take the call. The window popped up, showing a woman who could easily be described in one word: pissed.

“Kerry I see that you're online you don't need to- who the hell are you.”

“Name's V.”

She raised one eyebrow and for a moment V wondered why she gave him such a strange, judging look.

“... V.”

'You're sitting there just in your shorts, I hope you know that,' Johnny's voice echoed in his mind.

V looked down on himself. 'Well fuck me.'

He cleared his throat. Sounding professional while sitting there in nothing but his underwear came easy to him, days at Arasaka offices to thank. Teaches you to sound calm in whatever shitty or awkward or deadly situation you sit in.

“Yeah. Just V. Kerry is not home at the moment but he'll be back soon. Shall I leave him a message or just tell him to call back or...?”

The woman on the other side of the call pinched her nose and closed her eyes for a second.

“Okay, Just V. Tell him to call back, not for me, but for Kim and Ted. And more you don't need to know. Oh... and don't flatter yourself that you got to spend the night and not been taking out with the trash already. You're not the first. Pretty sure you're not the last.”

And with that she cut the connection.

Ouch.

V leaned back and stared at the laptop with raised eyebrows but then he shrugged. It was probably a good idea to get into some clothes. One awkward moment was enough for the day.

 

A few minutes later he could hear screeching wheels in the driveway.

“V! Get out of the damn bed already!” Kerry yelled from the door. V took the stairs down to the lower part of the loft like mansion.

“I'm up, I'm up. No need to yell, jeez.”

“And still here I see,” Kerry greeted him with a bright smile and pressed a cup of hot coffee into V's hand. Double espresso, Jamaican blend. No sugar. “Hope you don't mind that I already ate half of your doughnuts. Was damn hungry after last night.”

A smirk crossed V's face as he gave Kerry a thankful nod. “Sorry not sorry. Hey uhm... someone gave you a video call.”

Kerry grabbed V's hand and pulled him towards the couch. “Yeah? Who?”

“One Louise Nordin Eurodyne. Look I am not someone who scoops around in other peoples messages or video calls or whatever. Privacy is privacy. But she tried to get through for minutes and I thought it might be important. She said you should call her back and for some reason it seemed to be important that I mention some Kim and Ted....?”

Something changed on Kerry's face. He didn't look that happy any more. And he didn't say a word for a couple of seconds while V just gave him a questioning look.

“Something... wrong?”

“Ah fuck,” Kerry groaned and V watched how he threw his cup of coffee through the room – though he seemed more distressed than actually angry.

“Kerry talk to me. What's wrong? Who is she?”

“Ah she's... she's my Ex Wife and mother of my two children.”

'Bwahaha she's whaaaaat,' Johnny laughed in V's mind. 'How the hell did that happen!'

“Johnny shut up for a second,” V hissed and Kerry lifted his head, a moment of confusion showing on his face before he frowned deeply.

'Jeez, V, you just had to say that out aloud, didn't you.'

“Don't worry, Ker. I will punch myself later, that hurts him too,” V tried to joke.

“Urrg. It's... a long story and not one with a happy ending. Or a happy beginning. Or a happy... anything at all,” Kerry finally said. “Guess I should've told ya? I don't know.”

V lifted his hands. “Hey, no, that's alright. I am not pissed or anything. Just... confused. Because...”

“... you don't see me as a good father? Or a father at all? Or to be with a woman?”

“All of those things, actually.”

Kerry fell silent for a few seconds.

“Well. I am a shitty father. Not gonna lie about that. I suck. But honestly? Didn't want kids. Got two. No idea what to do with them. I don't even know if I want them to love me because I am not even sure I love them myself. I mean. I like them. But they've never really been part of my life and... getting them involved into it? No. I don't see that happen.”

V took in a deep breath. That wasn't how he'd expected this morning to turn out... he'd expected coffee, chilling on the couch, eating the doughnuts or whatever was left of them, make out with Kerry a bit, hop on his bike and get the job done for the Padre. But this?

“Well ehm... I mean... I can't relate, I guess. Used to think family is only dead weight any way, not really helping my career so I never... thought about having one. But if you never wanted kids then... why have them? Why get married even? Just to be divorced again?”

Kerry leaned into the couch and stared at the huge painting of his naked self on the wall.

“... exactly.”

“What?”

“Life's scripted, V. At least mine. Or... has been. Decisions made for me, not by me. Thought I made them but didn't. In the end you have hundreds of people who constantly tell you what's best for you until you believe it. Manager telling me this is good for PR or we need to do that to stay in the media. Yearly reminder to the world that I am still fucking alive. People get bored. Even with their idols. They need news. Gossip. Shit to talk about.”

V frowned a bit. That was a hard pill to swallow.

“Like the Us Cracks shit? Or the thing with your depression?”

“... yeah, kinda,” Kerry said though V didn't fail to notice the hesitation. Something was off about the whole depression story anyway, V suspected that for a while now. But he wasn't certain and didn't want to poke. What Kerry was telling him right now was already pretty heavy.

“So what you tell me is that someone thought you should get married... to a woman... have children with her... and that all for... publicity? So media got stuff to talk about? That's... woah. I don't know what it is.”

“Ugly? Perverted? Twisted?” Kerry offered and turned his head so he could face V. “Managed to keep Kim and Ted out of that shit at least. They are good kids. They don't deserve to get burned in the spotlight. Louise... not so much. Though I got the feeling she likes the attention of being Kerry Eurodyne's only ex wife.” There it was again. This tormented look on Kerry's face. It twisted V's heart to see that look again.

“Guess you had many reasons to burn down Kovachek's Yacht.” V reached out with his hand, cupped Kerry's face, his thumb gently stroking his cheek. “Hey. I don't care if you have six or sixty ex wives or been with, dunno, fifteen figure skaters before me and I get it. Lot of things you've done. Lot of bullshit you've been through. But you managed to come out on top. And you managed to get back to yourself again. Managed to make decisions for yourself.”

“Yeah. Like you. You're one of the decisions I am actually quite proud of, ya know that?” Kerry said and seemed to relax a bit. Though this hurt look in his eyes... it didn't vanish completely.

V chuckled slightly. “Me? I am a decision?”

Kerry nodded slowly into V's hand. “First time I saw you, it was match point and set. Never told you, was never the right time. That in that moment, I knew you'd be mine. I built a vision of your future memories. Where you whisper, open up your heart...” he hummed.

V's eyes widened a bit but then a warm smile crossed his face. He felt a warmth in his chest, his stomach that was new to him. But damn he liked it. He liked it very much.

“... reveal the place where I once had a heart.”

Notes:

Some say the hints of Kerry being married (and divorced) and him having two kids (you can find the e-mail conversation on his terminal) is "erased Bi-sexuality" and that Kerry was meant to be bi from the beginning. I had different thoughts.
"First time I saw you, it was match point and set. Never told you, was never the right time. That in that moment, I knew you'd be mine. I built a vision of your future memories. Where you whisper, open up your heart, reveal the place where I once had a heart.” is taken from Kerry's WIP song "a vision of your memories".

Chapter 6: Archangel

Summary:

Night City feasts on the good people.
The kind people.
V has to make a hard choice.

Notes:

There it is, the one shot I've been working on for a while now. Because of it's rather heavy topic and me doing a lot of research it took me longer than I wanted to and I kinda juggled around with ideas and what not. You've been warned. (I probably need to write some darn fluff after this)
It is also longer than the previous ones, about two pages more.
It's about - oh hey River!

Cause we lost everything
We had to pay the price

 

V looked at the gun in his left hand.

The pills in his right.

He felt so tired. Hearing Kerry's voice one more time over the phone had been a sweet relief but he'd lacked the strength to tell him what was going on. Kerry had his own battles to fight against his own shadows. He didn't want him to worry.

Not after their last night together, not after what V had discovered about Kerry and his demons.

And shit – maybe it had been their last night indeed.

For some reason the gun looked friendly. He had to think back to the things River had told him – the City feasted on kindness. The good people were the ones to go.

Could he really risk the lives of others for his own? Was he that special?

When Johnny bombed Arasaka tower, thousands of people had died that day. People with families and friends. Good people, too. Kind people.

Who knew what would go down when he let Johnny just do the same thing again? Giving up control, trusting the man who already killed so many?

On the other hand... he couldn't risk Panam and the Aldecaldos, either. Wasn't their battle. And it wasn't fair to pull them into it. Calling her would just be the most egoistic fuck thing he'd ever done in his life.

And Hanako, giving in to Arasaka, selling his own soul...?

It was strange that the gun suddenly seemed to be the only viable option. The only option where no one would get pulled into the shit V was sitting in.

But then again, maybe it was already too late for that...

 

---

 

Five days before the end.

 

“To friendship”, V said and raised his bottle of beer, “and thanks for the gun. Though it's funny, people seem to have a habit of gifting me weapons...”

River laughed. “Ah what a shame and there I was hoping to be special. But I was never really creative when it came to gifts. So, many guns you got, hm?”

V shrugged, enjoying the view over Night City from the top of the tower. “One isn't actually a gun but a huge sniper rifle... girl that gave it to me probably uses it better than I do but she wanted me to have it. Well and then there would also be this one...”

V pulled out the revolver from under his jacket, where it was always sitting as his side arm.

River whistled impressed. “Wow. That's a piece of art you got there. May I?”

“Sure”, V said, handing over the gun.

River carefully took the weapon. “It's a model Overture, isn't it? But unique. Must be custom made, perfectly balanced for the right hand to reduce recoil and that engraving... does she have a name?” River's fingers gently wandered over the barrel while he examined the gun.

“Archangel.”

“Must've cost a fortune. Who gave it to you?” The tone in River's voice was one of honest curiosity and nothing else and yet V hesitated for a second or two, not exactly knowing how to answer the question.

“My... a friend gave it to me. He's rich. You know: a professional merc like me got clients from all over Night City. Police, for example”, V said with a smirk and River lifted his gaze, smirking as well before he gave back the revolver.

For a while they shared their beers in silence and once those were empty, River pulled out a bottle of Tequila.

“Guess it must mean something to your friend, then”, River finally said after what felt to V like minutes. Peaceful minutes, calm and good minutes. He turned his head, raising his eyebrows with a questioning look on his face.

“Giving you the gun. Because to me... it does”, River explained and brought the Tequila bottle to his lips. He didn't even flinch after taking a big slug. “Done with police work. Done with Peter Pan. Don't need to carry a reminder around all the time.”

V looked at his lap, at River's Crash revolver. “A reminder about what?”, he asked.

River's stern glance was set on Night City, not on V sitting next to him.

“About the things I've done with it, the things I haven't done... but most importantly the things I've almost done. To you it's just a gun, gift from a friend. But to me it carries too many bad memories. Memories that won't vanish and I don't want them to... but I don't need a constant reminder.”

A strange feeling settled in V's stomach while he listened to River's words. They triggered something in his mind, his thoughts. But most importantly the things I've almost done.

Didn't Kerry say something similar when he gave him the Archangel? The gun he'd almost shot Johnny with and the gun that he'd almost-

V's train of thoughts got stopped when he noticed that River offered him the bottle. He shouldn't drink heavy alcohol, he knew that, with the chip in his head and his condition getting slowly worse every day, it wasn't a smart thing to do but on the other hand...

 

Ah what the hell.

 

“Think I understand”, V finally said and took the bottle. “Not many get out of the NCPD intact, I suppose. Mentally and physically. Not after what you guys see everyday. I mean I can choose the jobs that I want to take, can choose my clients but you guys? There was this guy... basically my neighbour, lived in the apartment under mine.”

V took a taste of Tequila. He grimaced slightly. Wasn't good stuff.

“One day saw some officers hanging around there. They told me he's been acting strange lately, not coming to work, didn't want to talk to them, one said he was acting like a pussy. I don't even know any more why he called him that. Anyway: not tough enough. That was the message.”

Another sip. Maybe he'd been too harsh. The Tequila wasn't that bad.

“Managed to talk to him. Guy was depressed as fuck. Seen too much death and violence in his job and then fate decided to take away the only good thing he'd going in his life, his pet turtle. Maybe he wasn't meant to be a cop. I don't know. And you know it's weird 'cause I was like... I felt like I was onto something, pulling him out of the mud, I talked to him and I really thought he was doing better but then I came home one night, his apartment closed off, his two officer buddies sitting in front of his door, one crying. Guy had shot himself.”

V washed these last words down with another shot straight from the bottle. Actually was quite good, this Tequila, he thought.

River watched him carefully. “The kind ones”, he said.

“The kind ones?”, V asked, not sure if he just didn't get it or if the Tequila made it harder for him to follow River right now.

“Yeah. It's kindness that falls victim to this city. Night City tears apart the kind ones. I saw many good people, good cops, looking down the barrel and pulling the trigger on themselves.”

The kind people. The good people. V felt like River's words should tell him something important but he also felt that the Tequila had already decided to make it's way into his brain and settled there. He couldn't really focus on this slippery thought, specially not because he suddenly became so aware of River's presence.

V glanced to the side, taking in his profile, though for some reason River seemed to escape his focus, became blurry. He brought the bottle of Tequila to his lips to keep himself from saying something stupid but unfortunately the booze was already empty and wouldn't save V from the words that came out of his mouth.

“River”, he said and nodded at the empty bottle, “You're a good man. And you're also good lookin' man, specially when there's two of you. And under diff'rent circumstances I would abuse this situation now but I'm kinda taken and you're kinda not into men or just not into me I s'ppose. So it would be awkward as fuck for both of us if I tried somethin' now but it would be more awkward for me.”

River raised one eyebrow and checked V's eyes. He was sure that the focus was more than off already.

“You're drunk.”

“Yes I am.”

“You're a good man too, V. I'm glad you're my friend.”

“Thank you, Officer, Sir.”

“But as your friend I say we get you into a bed now. You can crash here, I am not letting you drive off like this.”

“Good thinking. 'cause the Tequila is empty an-anyway.”

V took River's hand so he could help him to get up and leave and later he would wonder how he'd managed to get off the tower and back to Joss' place and into Randy's bed in one piece - but for now he just enjoyed the blissful ignorance and peace a clouded mind could bring while he drifted into a deep sleep.

 

---

 

Four days before the end.

 

 

Waking up with a hang over wasn't new to V – he'd woken up in the same state when he'd given Johnny his body for one damn night. But he wasn't used to it. He wasn't one to get drunk, never been.

 

He sneaked out of Joss' trailer, carefully not to run into her or one of her kids. Told River goodbye with nothing but a nod and River answered the same way.

River understood things without words.

V was glad for that.

He was a good friend, a good person indeed but most importantly he seemed to have his shit together and that was something rare in Night City. He had a view on the world, the people, that V admired – and he was thankful for the insight River shared with him.

And even though his mind had been clouded last night, he hasn't forgotten River's words. It gave him something to think about.

The good people, the kind people. That got swallowed by this city.

 

And the gun.

But most importantly the things I've almost done.

River had been talking about almost shooting Anthony Harris for sure – but V had to think about someone else, too.

Again.

 

V was back in his apartment, sitting on the couch and Nibbles on his lap, skipping through the News. He stopped at some report about Kerry's collaboration with Us Cracks and frowned.

'Johnny... you there?'

'No, I'm in the kitchen, baking cookies for ya. Where the fuck do you think I should be?'

V rolled his eyes, seeing the illusion of Johnny appearing at the window, leaning against it while he watched the city outside.

'You said Kerry came out of the shower with a gun in his hand.'

'Shit. Is this about Kerry again? Can't you think about more important things? Like how to get us into Mikoshi?', Johnny scoffed.

V ignored the complaint.

'… who the fuck showers with a gun, Johnny?'

Johnny threw his arms in the air and for a moment the illusion of him got blurry and V feared that he would vanish again, leaving him alone with his thoughts. But instead he sat down on the couch, legs spread, smoking a non existent cigarette. Just from the view V felt a strange crave for a smoke as well.

He didn't smoke.

He hated it.

'Well why the fuck should I care, this is Night City, V. People sleep with guns. Why not shower with them, too', Johnny finally said.

'And you never bothered to think about why he'd send all of his staff home early? And was alone when we broke in? With a gun in the shower?'

'Shit, V, if you wanna say something, spit it out already.'

But V didn't. Maybe he didn't want to word it. He wasn't even sure why he was afraid to do so – he was talking to himself, basically. No one was around. Just Nibbles – and he cared more about licking his balls right now than to bother about V's concerns.

'Johnny... fuck. I... think you saved his life that night.'

 

---

 

Three days before the end.

 

Sex with Kerry wasn't just great. It was simply amazing. There was something to be said about experience and V actually wondered why the hell he'd always been after those young guys in the office, those interns that were willing to do anything for a chance of a contract at Arasaka. In hindsight, those boys had been damn boring. He had no idea what had been exciting about fucking them. Maybe the feeling of power over them. Yeah, he'd been another V back then...

But Kerry was able to make V feel like a helpless virgin again. He wasn't sure if that was really a good thing, he was used to be in control but fuck - he loved it.

 

Another perk was that it made him sleep tight and good. Because it made him exhausted enough to simply drop dead into bed and even more it helped to have Kerry in his arms then. Good sleep and good sex both weren't things he was used to but damn he could get used to them.

 

But this night was different. V struggled to fall asleep and when he woke up in the middle of the night, he felt more like he'd just taken a restless nap. Judging from the quiet snoring next to him Kerry had not such problems. He was laying on his back, one arm over his head, one leg dangling from the bed and the blanket was not really covering him any more. And yet V just had to admire the sight. The chrome in his body shimmered slightly golden in the dim light that came from the city through the large windows, the rest of his body was covered in shadows, giving the tattoos on his arm a strange illusion of being alive, of moving.

 

A splitting headache yanked into V's brain. An annoying noise warned him about Relic Malfunction. “Argh... shit...”, he pressed out with low voice.

'Get out. Some fresh air will do you good', he heard Johnny's voice and followed the advice.

 

The chill wind helped indeed. V sat outside on a lowered patio on the backside of the villa, where he could listen to the calm noise of the artificial waterfall and look over the city.

'It just gets worse, V. We need to start moving', Johnny said, examining the area with slight disgust in his face. The whole place screamed money and fame and of course Johnny disliked it.

'I... I know, Johnny. And I will take care of things', V answered, jaded, not in the mood for arguments, putting his face in his hands as he concentrated on keeping his consciousness.

Johnny seemed to think different on that matter.

'Oh really? Is that why you spend the evening sitting on your ass at Kerry's and end up fucking him again? ', he snarled. 'You know it's funny, though. That he finally got what he wanted. Finally got to fuck me through your body because you just can't say no.'

V lifted his head. 'It ever occurs to you that not everything is about you, Johnny Silverhand?'

'Of course not.'

 

Talking to him felt just so pointless. V looked around, to keep his focus elsewhere. He was sitting on a wooden deck chair, noticed a few empty glasses and bottles around but then something peaked his interest. A shard, more or less looking like it had been thrown away. He inserted it and found it to be a couple of media reviews about 'Second Conflict', gathered and put together by someone.

“Kerry Eurodyne's golden age has long since passed. What's got me curious is how much money his label's got pumping into this sinking ship just so we don't think otherwise... will never be more than a Samurai epigone... a sad second hand tour de farce... can't seem to put together a headline of his own these days...”

'Ahh..... shit. Maybe you were right.'

V stopped reading and looked at Johnny who sat at the edge of the patio, his image flickering in the neon lights of Night City.

'You didn't buy his story either, right? That the whole depression thing was just a media stunt? Made up?', V asked.

Johnny shook his head. 'Yeah I didn't. Though he would've never told me the truth.' He turned around and looked at V before the image vanished and the voice in his head as well, leaving something unspoken between the two of them.

 

“Fuck V, there you are”, he heard the sleepy voice of Kerry, “the fuck you're doing out here?”

Kerry was only wearing his shorts and this absolute eccentric piece of a bathrobe, hugging himself. California's nights weren't that cold but the wind up here at North Oak could be chilly.

“Been thinking”, V answered and Kerry sat down next to him on the deck chair.

“'bout what?”

“Stuff.”

Kerry raised one eyebrow and gave V a strange look. “Uhu. Veeery suspicious, choom.”

V sighed. “Sorry, Ker. I just-”, he started helpless.

“Nah, it's alright, you got a lot of things going on, I know that. Tons of shit on your plate. Specially in that sweet head of yours.” Kerry snuggled against him, obviously still more sleepy than awake.

There was silence between them for a while and V wondered if Kerry was already dozing off again while they both tried to lay down together on the chair, holding each other.

“Kerry...”, V started and heard a sleepy, mumbled “Hm?”

“I...”

 

… I got so much to tell you and I don't even know where to start. I want you to know that I am there for you, want you to know that I am not going to drop you. I want to keep the shadows away, Kerry. I want to protect you from yourself.

But I am also afraid.

Afraid that I won't be able to do so. Afraid that I might just be gone one day. Maybe already tomorrow. I don't know. I am scared of the choices I need to make. Is it fair to sacrifice others for me, my life? And for Johnny? Panam promised me help. I know that sweet hearted dumbass would come up with some ridiculous and stupid suicide plan to get me into Mikoshi. Damn but I can't risk her life and that of her family for me, can I? I can't put their souls at stake. And Arasaka? Shit. If anyone knows that you can't trust Arasaka then it's me. Worked years for them and busted my ass. Just for them to drop me in a fucking instant, ruining my life, taking everything from me. If it hasn't been for Jackie back then...

Shit. Jackie. People drop dead around me all the time. Like Takemura. He trusted Hanako. And what did it get him? He died, too.

I'm afraid, Kerry. Afraid that the only way out is the one I don't want to think about. The way you once thought about.

But maybe I have no choice.

 

“Yo, V. You suddenly got a brain seizure or why do you stop talking mid sentence?”

V blinked.

“Uh... must've dozed off”, he said, clearing his throat, hugging Kerry a bit tighter.

“Ah. Yeah. Sure. What was is that you wanted to tell me? Wait. You're not gonna drop the L-bomb on me or some shit, right?”

“What? No, no no no, you're safe, don't worry”, V said and even had to laugh lightly – despite all those dark and clouded thoughts. “No. I just... I'm glad I got you, that's all. I know that whatever this is we're having is only a couple of weeks old but... am glad I got you.”

In the corner of his eye, V could see a smile stretching over Kerry's face.

“Well of course. I mean. We're tuned to the same frequency, right?”

“Yeah. We resonate.”

 

---

 

Zero days before the end.

 

V looked at the gun in his hand one more time.

No. It was no option. Not really. There was no way he would leave the city like this, would leave his friends, Kerry like that. He wanted to live. He wanted to own this cursed city. Putting the gun away he looked at the pills in his hand, taking the red one.

“Johnny?”

'Yes?'

“Tell Rogue I said hi. And... bring me back to him. Will you do that?”

'I will V. I promise.'

Notes:

So. Anyone else thinks that Kerry was about to commit suicide in the shower but Johnny showing up and playing the guitar stopped him?
I tried to gather the hints that the game drops about that and put them into this one shot.
There is also the hint about the suicide ending for V.
Since we follow my V's story here, however, he ends up sending Johnny and Rogue. I would've loved to give the secret ending here with only V and Johnny doing it, but this is his canon ending. And yes, unfortunately Takemura isn't alive in my game either.

Chapter 7: New Tunes

Summary:

It's never too late to learn something new.

Notes:

This one shot was written as a prompt given to me by the dear nensha, prompt was "New Abilities".
Originally I had two ideas for this prompt, the second one might be a real short bonus story, we'll see.
Takes place after the end (ending: The Sun).
It's the first time in my life, I think, that I've done a prompt :D But if anyone else wants to give me some, shoot!
After the last one shot I had to write something light and fluffy so that's what we have!

“V, have you seen my shirt?”, Kerry yelled through the apartment.

V was sitting at his desk in the upper part of his home, trying to sort out some leaked informations about a strange weapon deal between Militech and Maelstrom.

“Ker, your stuff is scattered all over the place all the time, how the hell should I know”, he yelled back. He heard how the door to the storage room got opened and frowned. It's where he kept his weapons, his tech arsenal, did upgrades for his Cyberdeck, worked on new hacks and kept basically everything work related. Usually a place Kerry would not even bother to go into. “You're not going to find it in there!”

“Well you were wearing it last night and I can't find it elsewhere!”

V sighed. He wondered why the hell they had to communicate by yelling through the apartment.“Can't you just... wear one of my shirts?”

“And look like a Corpo fascista? No thanks!”

V looked down on himself. Was there something wrong with blazers and dress shirts? “I got tank tops too, you know?”, he answered.

“Yeah and they suck! Need to get you into a style check one day....”

V put his face into his hands and groaned.

“Just... why aren't you getting your ward robe to my place, it's not like you spend much time at your house any way...”, V yelled down stairs, not even fully aware what he was implying there. Truth was, Kerry was basically living with him already or at least spending most of the nights at V's place. And Kerry also liked to leave his stuff all over the apartment – several guitars, his underwear, booze, drugs. It felt like they already had moved in together. They just never talked about it.

“What's this”, Kerry called from down stairs.

“What's what”

“This!”

V let out a whiny sigh and finally stood up from his chair. Wasn't like he would get any work done like this any way.

 

“Well what does it look like”, he said, standing in the door to the storage room, arms crossed over his chest.

“A guitar”, Kerry answered, the instrument in his hands. “But none of mine. Are you dating another Rockstar that I should know about?”

A small smirk appeared on V's face. “I am in a well functioning relationship with America's God of Rock, why should I settle for less?”

“Smooth”, Kerry said and raised one eyebrow, “Also: true.” He took a closer look at the green guitar in his hands. “A Lyridon Chrome, nice beginner's model... not the best choice though if you wanted to make me an early birthday gift or something. So who's is it then? Something work related? Had to steal a guitar for someone?”

V felt uneasy for a moment and didn't even know why. “No it's... it's mine, actually”, he finally said and earned a surprised look from Kerry. V stepped closer and took the instrument out of Kerry's hands to walk over to the couch.

“Since when do you own a guitar?”, Kerry asked and followed him.

V sat down, the guitar on his lap. “A month or two...?”

“Can you play it?”, Kerry asked and V noticed some excitement, some light in his eyes together with a small smile.

“Well not very good, I fear...”, V said, hesitating.

“Ah come on, show me. Can't be that bad”, Kerry said and dropped onto the couch next to V, one arm over the rest and V's shoulders. He leaned forward to pull a cigarette out of a pack lying on the table and then leaned into the cushions again, giving V a nod.

V sighed and put his fingers on the strings but before he could hit the first chord, Kerry noticed something. “Ahh don't be shy. Afraid to annoy the neighbours?”, he said and switched on the power button to bring the electric guitar to life. It connected with one of the speakers that were standing around. Kerry gave V a grin and took a drag from the cigarette.

V frowned but then focused on his fingers and where they were supposed to be and started to play some pretty basic strum pattern with some alternate bass picking. Yet it was a nice melody. He kept playing the chords for a while before he cleared his throat. “How do you shake this feeling, that you were born scene stealing, maybe you coasted far too long...”

It was Kerry's favourite time of the day, the golden hour in the evening when a setting sun filled the whole room with warm light. And while V sang and played, Kerry watched his hands, his fingers and finally V's face. The light that came through the windows gave the guitar an almost emerald shimmer but Kerry was even more drawn to that golden light reflecting in V's eyes. Like an inner flame, setting those cold, white Kiroshi implants on fire. A warmth that seemed to spread over Kerry, too. And he slowly started to hum with him, smilingly tapping his foot to the rhythm.

“... Let's board up the bedroom windows, fire off Roman candles, watch all the ghosts in our clothes disappear...”, V finished and grimaced when he misplayed a tone in the end, failing to grab the strings correctly. But before he could drop his hands, Kerry took his fingers and put them into a slightly different position. “Easier this way. Barring the second fret for two of the chords is pretty challenging.”

V put the guitar aside. “Yeah. Didn't have that much time to practice yet.”

“Well you can't sing for shit but your play is actually quite good, V”, Kerry said, “But... where... when did you start to learn guitar? Who teaches you?”

V looked over to the Lyridon before he turned towards Kerry. “You wanted me to take things easier. So I did. Been outsourcing most of the Gigs these days, got people that do stuff for me now. Had no idea that being a Fixer, sitting in the Afterlife, can be so boring at days. Feels like being back at the office – just with less stress and less vomiting in the bathroom. So I got myself a guitar... some shards with 'Playing the Electric Guitar for Gonks'... and started. And when I had some time left while sitting in my room in the Afterlife, waiting for calls or just messages... I practised. I guess it became a habit?”

Kerry raised his eyebrows. “Self taught? Now you try to impress. Considering you got the fucking best teacher in the world sitting right here though, I guess I should feel a little bit offended that you never asked me to show you somethin'.”

V waved aside. “You're busy enough, not gonna waste your time with something like this. Also I guess I wanted to get good enough on my own before I even tell you...” He smirked a bit. “To impress you, probably?”

Kerry gave him a flat look. “Really. You still think you need to impress me. You. Night City's Bad Boy. Top Dog of the Afterlife. Conqueror of the Crystal Palace.”

V laughed a bit. “Guess learning to play the guitar is pretty lame compared to those things, right? Ahh... fuck. I don't know. Ever since you guys had your reunion concert... and Johnny playing the guitar... I guess my... body kinda remembered the feeling and I had this urge to just... do it.” He took in a deep breath. “Also music is your world, Ker... suppose I want to be part of that.”

Kerry just looked at him, saying nothing for a few moments. “Fuck me, you're sweet”, he then stated, before he took another drag of his cigarette that he'd almost forgotten about and that was covering his pants in ash already. There was something incredible sexy about V's statement. The man who'd made Night City his personal bitch sat on the couch, playing the electric guitar like a rookie for the sole purpose of being part of Kerry's life – like he wasn't already the most important thing. Well. Besides Kerry himself and the City. Of course.

“So It Goes wasn't so bad but also isn't so hard to play. Good choice to start learning, though. Got any other songs?”, he asked.

“Well I tried my hands on Black Dog... you know from what's-their-name? This long-forgotten underground band, Samurai or something...?”, V said with a crooked smirk.

“Let me hear it”, Kerry said and flicked the cigarette butt into the ashtray on the table. “But ya know what's really intense?”

V shook his head and raised an eyebrow on Kerry's wicked smile.

“Getting a blow job while playing guitar. Believe me. It's great.”

V bit his lip. “That's probably going to mutilate the song but... who am I to disagree with you?”, he hummed and watched how Kerry already fumbled on his belt.

 

The song wouldn't be played well.

 

V would hit a lot of wrong chords.

 

He wasn't very concentrated.

 

But none of them cared.

 

 

How do you shake this feeling
That you were born scene stealing
Maybe you coasted far too long

Baby you seem so tired
Of drawing phantom power
From all of the fires in your life

As a house
All that you wanted
Was to feel less haunted
By the desires
Desires that drive you into the arms of another lover's dreams

Is this all that there is even after
Years of trial and error
Learning how to love, be loved and destroyed

Let's board up the bedroom windows
Fire off Roman candles
Watch all the ghosts in our clothes
Disappear

Fingers and the Outlaws - So it Goes

 

Notes:

Credits to the super amazing artwork/screenshot at the bottom go the glorious Maxkimy who made it for me!
Check out their Cyberpunk Instagram, they got tons of cool shots there:
https://www.instagram.com/nc_caliburn/
"Fingers and the Outlaws - So it Goes" is a fictional band existing in the Cyberpunk universe, you can hear their song on Morro Rock Radio Station. Unfortunately I don't know the real band behind it, otherwise I would credit them, of course.
Also, did you know? The guitar, Lyridon Chrome, can actually be bought in the game (along with several other guitars and some records of Samurai, Kerry and other bands). But you can't actually play it - it's "just" a junk item. Still funny!

Chapter 8: Dreamer

Summary:

There's something Johnny has to say.

Notes:

I don't want to say too much.
Just prepare for sad things.
Takes place after the heist on Arasaka with the help of Rogue.

There's bound to be a ghost at the back of your closet
No matter where you live
There'll always be a few things, maybe several things
That you're gonna find really difficult to forgive

 

 

Kerry took off his sunglasses after entering the small shop located in a dirty alley in Watson.

It was late in the evening but he'd tried to go unnoticed through these narrow streets. Fortunately it looked like they were filled with sad lives any way: drug addicts, drug dealers, gang members, dreamers. People that barely paid attention to their surroundings. People that got fucked over by life so many times that Kerry Eurodyne himself could walk past them and they wouldn't notice.

Or think he's just another dandy illusion, another shiny ad filled billboard.

 

He wasn't sure if coming here was the right decision. Just the fact that someone somehow managed to get a message through his phone... of course those things happened and usually he ignored it. And got a new phone. And a new number. But this specific message...

 

He couldn't ignore it.

 

'Hey. It's about V. If you want to talk about him – come to Misty's Esoterica in Watson. If you don't – forget this message.'

 

Maybe it was V himself?

That asshole that had just ghosted him. Maybe he needed a shady reason to lure him into into this... this...

What was that shop even?

 

Kerry looked around. He recognized a faint smell of sandalwood and noticed a couple of incense sticks being the culprit.

“Hey”, he heard the soft voice of a young woman at the counter. She wore a warm smile and there was something in her eyes, something beyond her age, a certain share of weight on a life that was much to young to carry it. “You must be Kerry.”

“No, I'm Richard fucking Night”, Kerry said and had no idea why his answer turned out to be so pissed. He was in a bad mood. “Of course I am, one would think Kerry Eurodyne is easy to recognize.”

The smile on the woman's face just got wider, not being thrown off by his pissed reaction at all and she gently shook her head. “No, I mean Kerry. V's Kerry.”

Kerry suddenly felt his own heart beat. Heavy against his chest. He took in a sharp breath.

“So, you're his friend or something? He send you to finally tell me it's over and that he fucked me over? Hard? Doesn't have the balls to do it on his own? Tell the fucker to say it to my face”, Kerry said and tried to sound rather angry but the knot in his throat made it hard.

“I am his friend, yes. Misty. Owner of Misty's Esoterica. And I'm afraid you don't understand but... I can bring you to him”, she said, her voice soft, warm but there was an undeniable sadness in it too.

Kerry narrowed his eyes, his arms crossed over his chest, his fingers clawing into his own skin; he didn't even notice.

“I understand if you don't want to, though”, Misty continued because Kerry decided to wander around in the little shop instead of saying a word.

He stopped and stared at her. Hatred in his eyes. But also pain.

“That's what happens here, right? He didn't send you. He doesn't even know about your little... set up. You're probably just some... some well meaning friend of his who thinks it's a bright idea to put me in front of his door step because he's too much of a fucking coward to even call me!”, he finally spat out.

Misty dropped her gaze.

“It's more complicated, I'm afraid”, she just said, cryptic, again. Kerry threw his arms into the air in frustration.

“The fuck is that supposed to mean! How fucking hard can it be, he ghosted me for two fucking months, what's complicated about that!”

Misty lifted her gaze and for a moment it seemed like she searched for something in his face until she finally spoke up again, her voice still soft, warm yet – sad.

“... do you want to visit him – or not?”

Under all the anger, the hate, the disappointment and the pain, there was something else boiling up inside of Kerry. Fear. Something in her tone, the way she spoke... he didn't like it.

“Well fuck it. Sure. Let's visit this motherfucking leadhead... see if he's able to open his mouth and spit out some pretty little lies... Corpo rat like him should be able to do that after all...”, Kerry mumbled and turned around to leave.

Misty quickly closed the shop and followed him.

 

---

 

Misty was on the wheel and Kerry decided to stare out of the window. He didn't feel like talking to her and it seemed like she understood that because she did him the favour and was silent. Last thing he wanted was a forced conversation.

However after a couple of minutes, he felt that it was unfair to treat Misty like this. She probably really was just a well meaning friend of V. And it wasn't her fault, after all.

He also noticed that they seemed to head back towards North Oak. He wondered why...

“So... V ever spoke of me?”, Kerry said, finally deciding to cut through this awkward silence. Still preferred to stare out of the window, though.

“Well... not really. You probably know how closed up he was about his private life.”

Wait. Was?

“But he also couldn't really hide it from me. One day he was coming in with a Kerry Eurodyne record and he was mentioning some jobs he did for you... I noticed the way he spoke about you and later laid out some Tarot about it and let's just say it told me enough. I put two and two together and knew what was going on”, she said, a soft chuckle escaping her mouth.

Kerry breathed out a heavy breath.

It just made no fucking sense.

“He really did like you, Kerry. I've never seen him like that... or heared him talking about someone with so much... spark in his voice. And the cards? The cards very pretty obvious about his feelings.”

She was talking in the past. Again. Kerry frowned when he noticed those annoying turns on the road. Where the hell were they going?

 

A cold wave washed over his body the moment the columbarium came in sight. And he noticed that Misty got slower – until they finally stopped in front of it.

No.

This had to be a bad joke.

Kerry blinked. He felt a hand on his shoulder. A gentle touch. Barely any weight.

“We're here.”

No.

This had to be a fucking joke!

 

Kerry's whole body felt numb but somehow decided to move on its own because he noticed that he got out of the car and followed Misty like a zombie.

 

She lead them through the narrow aisle. They passed by a niche were she stood still for a second and put her hand on the wall. Kerry read a name: Jackie Welles.

But then she moved on, took a turn and nodded towards the wall. Her eyes were on Kerry, showed sympathy, condolence – but she said nothing and just took a step away from the niche so Kerry could read what was written on it:

 

V

Dreamer

 

Kerry slowly got down on his knees, like he couldn't carry the weight of his own body any more.

All those months he'd been mad at him. Hated him. Called him the worst break up he's ever had. All this hate, anger, the disappointment, the pain, the nights of cursing himself for being so wrong about V, for trusting him, for thinking that he was better than the others, that he was the one who was able to shake things up.

The one who pulled him out of the mud.

The one who gave him the strength to fight the shadows.

 

And he'd done him wrong all those fucking months.

 

“How...”, Kerry started but his voice cracked.

“Something went wrong”, Misty started to explain. “He was in a really bad shape. His... his brain.”

“The bio chip?!”

“So you... know about it? Yes, yes the bio chip. He was running out of time and decided to take matters into his own hands. But... something went wrong. He didn't return from Arasaka tower. But he sure took them with him.”

“Ara-fucking-saka... you're telling me that... that was him? It was V? The night Arasaka went down, and their whole bullshit secure your soul program got fucked up completely? The night the city was in for some heavy wake up call? You tell me that was... that was V's doing?!”

“... yes.”

“Fuck. H-he called me before this. He tried to tell me something. Fuck. And I was... I was busy. Why didn't I... fuck.”

Kerry noticed that his vision got blurry. He tried to blink the tears away. Found that he wasn't strong enough.

He twitched slightly when he felt a small hand squeezing his shoulder.

“He... he really, really liked you”, Misty pointed out again before she took a step back. “I didn't know that... I thought he just... vanished. After all no body was found. I was visiting the niche of my... my Jackie a few days ago. And took a little stroll through the aisles. I like the silence here... that was when I noticed his plate. But I don't know who bought it for him. I... I thought you needed to know. I know I would've wanted the same.”

Kerry wrapped himself in silence and Misty knew what she had to do.

“I'm... I'm going to leave you alone. I... will wait by the car. You know... if you want to talk later.”

And with that she left, her steps light and silent.

 

“Fuck, V...”, Kerry whispered and his head fell against the wall. “You could've said something... why didn't you say something... I know people... we could've... I could've...”

'Course, yeah. Just wanted to hear ya.'

V's voice echoed in his head. He'd sounded so weak back then. Kerry knew that something had been wrong there. He'd seen through V's bullshit the moment he'd said those words. He should've been more persistent.

But people had been on his ass to show up in the studio and he'd been riding a high to get that demo done that day.

And now all he could do was hate himself for the things not done.

 

Kerry didn't know how long he's been sitting there. But eventually he stood up, ready to leave. Not ready to leave it behind, though.

His eyes were glued on the ground when he was overcome by a strange feeling, a feeling of being watched.

Tensing up he lifted his head – and could swear that he was this close to a heart attack.

“Either I'm seeing a ghost...”, he said, his voice still weak yet filled with a certain fury, “... or a fucking asshole.”

He clenched his fists. The urge to punch the person a few feet away was huge.

Oh the face was familiar. Beloved, even. The green hair, the white eyes, even that little braided beard.

But the way he stood at the wall.

How he carried himself.

The look in those eyes.

His posture.

 

Kerry closed the gap between them, grabbed him by the collar and pinned him heavy against the wall. He had no idea where he took the strength to do that.

“You fucking asshole. You. Fu-cking. Ass-hole”, he pressed out through gritted teeth.

“Ker. Let me down. I don't want to break your arms.” V's voice, yes... but this tone... it was unmistakable.

Whatever strength it was that made him hold up a man full of cyberware, chrome and cybernetic enhancements all over his body, it left him just as fast again and Kerry let go of the man in front of him, took a step back, his breath heavy.

“You just won't stop haunting me, will you, Johnny”, he finally said, his voice an angry whisper of a broken voice. “Even after fifty fucking years. I just can't get rid of you. You killed him, didn't you. Just say it to my face, asshole. Say it. You killed V.”

Johnny slowly shook his head.

“Not that easy, choom.”

“Well then explain it to me!” Kerry was shouting those words. A few heads turned towards them. Not many people here, though. But one of them dared to throw a “Ssshhh!” towards them and Kerry gave him a death glance that just made him go away immediately.

“Shit didn't go as planned. Lost Rogue. Got into Mikoshi. The soul killer thing. Where Arasaka stored all those pretty little engrams of their petty secure your soul program.”

“And?!”

“And V didn't made it. I wanted to save him, really wanted to save his life. But it was messed beyond our control. V was already dead the day you met him. He wasn't going to survive this. Never supposed to.”

“Then why are you wearing his face!”

“Bio chip did that. Shit altered his DNA, Ker. It's fucked up. That chip altered it in my favour. So my soul has a body.”

Kerry took a step back and shook his head in disbelief.

“No. You're lying.”

“I never lie, Ker. And you know that.”

“No. It's... it's... bullshit. You're talking bullshit. V would've never... he wouldn't give away his body like that. Not like... not like that.”

“...”

“... Johnny?!”

“He had nothing to gain. I had everything to lose.”

The aisle suddenly got filled with the sound of a man slapping another man in the face. Kerry's whole body was trembling.

“Feeling better now?”, Johnny asked, rubbing his chin.

Kerry shook his head. “Whaddya think? How am I supposed to feel?! You let me believe that he ghosted me, you let me believe that he just dropped me like a used condom, meanwhile you're sitting cosy in his body after taking his life.” Once again it broke over him and Kerry just dropped down. He just noticed in the corner of his eyes that Johnny sat down in front of him.

“Thought it's better that way. Thought you're used to bad romances. That you can handle that. Gives you stuff to sing about.”

Kerry lifted his head and stared at Johnny, anger flaring up in his eyes again, easily seen even through the tears that fell to the ground.

“What? I couldn't tell you that you're muse died as an engram in fucking cyberspace, shit, Ker. You were back on track. I saw that. That your Rocker Boy heart was beating again and I liked what I saw. You showed the past the damn middle finger. Found the strength to do that. Didn't want to pull you back into the mud by showing up... in V's body... of all people... for fucks sake. I knew you could get through this. Didn't know if you could get through this, though.”

It took a while until Kerry found his voice again. He felt tired. And weak.

“And why the fuck do you show up now...”

“I pay him a visit every month. Wasn't planned to run into you.”

“So. You would've never told me. And if it wasn't for Misty...”

“Yeah. Would've never told you”, Johnny admitted.

Kerry bit his trembling lip. He tasted blood but didn't care.

“Not because I don't give a fuck about you”, Johnny continued and Kerry had to scoff about these words, “... but because I cut all ties. Better that way. It's not my life. Was V's. And I ghosted long enough through your life. Better to leave that all behind. Once and for all.”

“... and just say fuck it to the past”, Kerry said. No more anger in his voice. No more anger in his heart.

Just a void. A void that was once left by Johnny – and filled by V.

And now...

 

Kerry slowly stood up and started to walk away.

Johnny only followed him with his gaze.

 

'Kerry?'

'Yeah?'

'That night... had a great time.'

 

 

 

 

 

There's gonna come a day when you'll feel better
You'll rise up free and easy on that day
And float from branch to branch, lighter than the air
Just when that day is coming, who can say? Who can say?

 

The Mountain Goats – Up The Wolves

 

 

Notes:

So I finally played through the Johnny ending (giving Johnny the body) and I think it's even sadder than the suicide ending.
And while I did think that this ending was fitting Johnny's character... I think he owes Kerry to explain what happened.

The Mountain Goats – Up The Wolves is not a fictional band from Cyberpunk this time but... it fit.
Maybe I should do a playlist for the chapters, including the songs that show up in them?

Chapter 9: Chippin' In

Summary:

V got some new chrome.

Notes:

Okay so basically this is the little bonus chapter to the "New Abilities" prompt that I wrote two chapters ago. Originally I had two ideas and the one from "New Tunes" turned out the be the one I would take but I didn't want to abandon the other one so here we are.
It's really just a short, stupid bonus chapter.
Mostly stupid.
But I had fun.
Please don't hit me.

“Wow, V, spotting some new chrome? Sexy!” Kerry called from the couch, guitar on his lap.

V walked over to him while he let his gaze wander through the apartment. Was it cleaner than usual in here or did he get used to this messy party palace? He couldn't tell.

However some things didn't change, obviously: the bottles with booze on the table in front of Kerry.

“Good eye, I do”, V said and lifted his arms, showing off his newest tech. Kerry whistled impressed and put his guitar aside after V sat down next to him.

“Got them implanted by Viktor a few hours ago. High tech Gorilla arms, not the model Arasaka sells but the one they use for their own security. Real touch synth skin on the fingers with high sensitivity option, black market battery, also got the option for-”

“Bla bla, skip the technobabble”, Kerry said and grabbed V's hand, tracing his fingers gently with his own. “Feels good though. That's important. Not going to let you touch me with some cold ass metal fingers.”

V felt a rush of heat through his whole body and also felt incredible stupid because of it, like a schoolboy who forgets how to breath because his crush holds his hand on the way home. Fucking gonk he was.

Kerry let go of V's new hands and leaned back into the cushions.

“So what did you get them for?”, he asked.

“Oh you know. The usual stuff. My reputation grows and my jobs get harder, I need to live up to my fame”, V answered with a smirk. “So basically like... open doors and stuff, rip off turrets, beat people to death...”

Kerry frowned a bit. “Ya know that I do listen to you when you talk about your Gigs, right?”

“What... do you mean?”, V asked and suddenly didn't feel that comfortable in his skin any more.

“Well I know you're a netrunner boy, V. And I know you're fucking good. There's no door you can't hack and don't tell me turrets are a problem. Heck, you even hacked the audio systems of my damn security bots that one night just because you didn't want them to listen to us. Which is by the way completely stupid because they don't care and we could've been fucked in rather non pleasant ways too with that hole in security - but I guess it's just one of your many quirks, hu.”

V cleared his throat. “That was only because you got me drunk...”, he mumbled under his breath and Kerry just gave him a crooked smile.

“So. Why the Gorilla arms?”

“...”

“Come on they must've cost tons of eddies. There gotta be a good reason, right?”

“... Razor Hugh”, V finally sighed. “The reason's Razor Hugh.”

Kerry gave him a confused look. “What now? Razor? Like that three-time heavyweight champion Razor? That Razor? What's he gotta do with your arms?”

“... well... I am... going to fight him.”

Kerry stared at V – and a moment later burst out in loud laughter. It took him a while to be able to breath again and he realised that V himself wasn't laughing. “Wait. You're serious. Why the fuck do you wanna fight Razor Hugh?!”

V let out an annoyed groan and his hand wander through his green, short hair.

“Because of my damn pride, that's why. It all started with a friendly brawl against a bot at home with my trainer and suddenly I was part of some strange beat the brat street brawl tournament, fought some strange twins who weren't twins, a guy with a grenade in his face-”

“Wait hol' on a second. You're a street brawler? But V. You're a brains over brawls kinda guy.”

V gave him a tormented look and said nothing.

“Aaaaand somehow you ended up winning all these fights and are now in the finals against a professional”, Kerry said dryly. “Well isn't that preem.” He reached over to the table and grabbed his glass only to notice that it was empty.

V nodded, still wearing this kicked-puppy-face.

“So you thought that the only chance of winning would be with some high tech chrome because otherwise you wouldn't be able to even scratch that guy. Correct?”, Kerry continued and filled his glass with some Martini and Vodka. He wondered if he should've used the shaker but – ah fuck, who cares.

V nodded again and Kerry let out a dramatic sigh.

“Well tell me when the fight is taking place so I can come and collect your remains the morning after”, he snarled and grabbed the glass of olives – real olives, damn expensive – only to find that he couldn't get it open. Kerry groaned in annoyance while he struggled with the cursed glass and then pressed it into V's palm.

“Here's your chance to make yourself useful with them, come on, Kerry Eurodyne is not drinking Vodka-Martini without olives.”

V raised his eyebrows. “Kerry Eurodyne is a damn diva”, he smirked and gained a 'shut up and just do it' look from Kerry so V decided to do him the favour and unscrewed the glass.

He did that in theory.

In reality the thing basically exploded in his hands.

Both V and Kerry stared in silence at the disaster that just happened. Glass shards everywhere, mostly over V, olives everywhere – mostly over Kerry.

Though one actually hit the glass and was sitting proudly in the Vodka-Martini now.

Kerry slowly turned his head.

“The fuck was this”, he said with surprisingly calm voice.

“I... think the hardware is not uh... really synced with my brain yet...”, V mumbled.

Kerry blinked.

“So you're telling me those new arms of yours just applied so much force that it blasted the whole glass in an instant.”

“Yep.”

“Cool, cool.”

Kerry nodded slowly and then suddenly threw his arms into the air.

“Are you out of you're damn mind to install something like that into you?! Black market battery, hu?! Fuck, V, now it was only a glass of olives but imagine if I had been in for some damn spanking and ended up with Trauma Team instead of having a good night! The heck would I've told them, my gonk brain of a boyfriend installed some Gorilla arms and didn't sync them properly?!”

V stared at Kerry in sudden surprise.

“What did you just call me?”

“Gonk brain!”

“No, the other thing” V couldn't help it but slowly, oh so slowly, a stupid grin formed on his face.

Kerry crossed his arms over his chest, trying to look angry.

“Romance.”

“Nope, that wasn't it.”

“Affair?”

“Jeez, I hope not?”

“Input!”

“Better but that wasn't it.” V was grinning widely now.

Kerry threw him an annoyed glance.

“Slipped out of my mouth. Wouldn't think too much about it, if I were you”, he grumbled but didn't resist when V pulled him into his arms.

Carefully, though.

“Oh I think I will”, he hummed in a sudden very good mood.

Kerry leaned forward to grab his glass before he made himself comfortable against V's chest. Holding it up he suddenly gave V an impressed nod.

“Well but will you look at that.” He gave V a cheeky smirk.

“At least I got my olive.”

 

Chapter 10: That One Sin

Summary:

At one of Kerry's parties, V gets to know something he never wanted to know.

Notes:

Warning, this is probably the longest one shot I've written so far! It has about the length of Archangel but a bit more. I still hope you enjoy it!
It also got some Viktor in it because we all need more Viktor in our lives.
This one takes place 3-4 months after the end (The Sun ending/Afterlife ending).
UPDATE: I added about one more page of dialogues. Thanks nensha for the input!

“Alright, looks good on my end”, Viktor said and threw one last glance at the screens before he shoved them aside and gave V a nod. “How are you holding up? The new pills doing some good?”, he asked.

“Can't complain, I guess”, V shrugged and slowly got off from the Ripper Doc chair. “Not feeling better but... also not worse.”

Viktor hummed. V didn't know if it was a that's-good-hum or the opposite. And truth be told: he didn't want to know. But Viktor wasn't so kind to leave him in the dark about it.

“Three months, I think.”

“That's one more than you gave me last time.”

Viktor nodded slowly, his eyes on V. “Your situation didn't get worse, that's why. But...”, he hesitated but V just waved aside.

“Yeah not better either. I know, I know.” There was a moment of silence between the two of them before V decided to fill the void with words. “Hey Vik. Got any plans for tonight?”

Viktor blinked, a bit thrown off by that sudden question. “Not really. Why?”, he said and rolled with his chair towards his desk so he could prepare a new dose of pills for V.

“There's a big fancy party in North Oak tonight, at Eurodyne residence. I got an invite and was thinking that you could maybe be my plus one?”

Viktor lowered his head a bit so he could throw a look at V over the rim of his glasses.

“You want to take an old greaser like me to a celebrity party up at Noarth Oak.”

V smirked. “Vik, most of the guests and the host himself are probably older than you. Also, you're some kind of celebrity too, right?”

Viktor turned around, filling up the small plastic bottle with pills. He scoffed. “One that's forgotten, I'm sure, and I don't want to change that. What's the occasion?”

V put on his green blazer. “Release of Kerry's new album's tomorrow. So this is like the pre-release party. It's amazing that he pulled it off in those few months. He promised me to finish it before I... before my... well. Before I flatline for good.”

Viktor lifted his head and turned around, worry and compassion on his face. He noticed how V just stared at his feet for a moment, his mind visibly drifting off towards what would come eventually and inevitable. And damn, Viktor wished to be able to do something. But he was already glad that V frequently stopped by to get checked, even though he knew that he had the best Ripper Docs of the Afterlife watching after him.

He got pulled out of his thoughts the moment V lifted his gaze again to throw a smile towards him.

“So. What ya say? Gonna hit it off with me to night?”

“Hmm”, Viktor hummed. “Guess someone has to watch that you go easy on the booze. And I don't trust Kerry to do that.”

V rolled his eyes but was still smiling. “You sound like Mama Wells when she calls me to make sure I eat well.”

“People care about you, V. Live with it!”

“Alright, Papa Vector.”

“You take that Papa back”, Viktor grumbled with a deep frown on his face.

“Only if you stop to behave like one!”, V replied with the smile now turned into a wide grin.

Viktor took off his glasses to rub his eyes before he threw the bottle of pills for V to catch them.

“Yeah yeah just make fun of your most trusted Ripper Doc, we'll see where that gets you. Alright, kid. Where and when do we meet up?”

 

---

 

“Eyes on the road, V”, Viktor said casually while he watched the streets of Night City as they drove through them. All those shining neon lights and lies.

“Well I am sorry but I can't get over what you're wearing”, V protested after throwing yet another glance at Viktor before he shook his head in mild irritation and focused on driving again.

“What? It's the same stuff I am usually wearing.”

“That is exactly my problem, Vik.”

“Hey. I don't aim to impress people. And you're the one who wanted to drag me along. Also I put on a fresh shirt, one without blood on it, you have no reason to complain.”

“Yeah I start to think that was a mistake and I should've asked Claire instead...”

Viktor smirked. V was sitting there all dressed up, sure he had a netrunner suit underneath the green blazer and Viktor didn't really understand why, but other than that he looked like he was on his way to a fancy office party at Arasaka's. And Viktor himself? Well he didn't give a damn about how he looked like.

“Why me anyway? Don't think one of your other friends would keep it cool among all that glamour and shine and fame?”

V snorted. “He. Yeah that is one reason. But I wanted to give you something back, Vik... you did so much for me and I... I don't know. I felt like I owe you something.”

“And you think a party will do that?”

“Hey! It's a high exclusive party! Drinks and music! And when was the last time you had organic food, hu?”

“Hmm good point.”

Truth be told, Viktor didn't care about drinks or music or organic food. Or all those famous people that would probably be at this sort of party. He was someone who enjoyed his evening in front of the TV, watching old boxing matches that he'd already seen a hundred times and finish the day with a nice, cold beer. And he would've never said yes to such an invitation – if it hadn't been V who'd invited him.

V's remaining time was short. And Viktor was worried about him. That guy just didn't know how to slow down. When to stop. King of the Afterlife? Invading and hacking Crystal Palace? A relationship with a hot headed Rock Star? Sex, Drugs and Rock'n'Roll...?

But Viktor wouldn't word his worries. V was an adult and it wasn't up to him to tell him what to do with the time given to him. But he figured that it would be nice to share that time once in a while. Wasn't that often that V made up some free time for ol' Viktor in his basement clinic. So he would grab the chance to spend a night with him – and yes, maybe he would have an eye on the amount of booze V would consume.

 

They weren't the first to arrive. Not even the second. When V parked the car in front of the mansion, they saw a lot of expensive vehicles standing around in the drive way or close to the road and just like that a Delamain was about to take off and fly away after dropping off who-knew-who.

V got out of the car and took in a deep breath. Blasting music hit him right in the face, together with the mumbled mix of voices, laughter, mingling and chatting people, women screeching, men cheering.

V let out a whine and Viktor raised an eyebrow. “You're not a fan of this, are you”

“Nope”, V sighed. “I don't think I know anybody and they are all this eccentric and loud kind of people and all of this is not really my style...”

“Guess you had a few reasons to drag me with you, hu”

“Yep, need someone to hold my hand”, V said with a smirk and Viktor just shook his head with a grin before they entered the place. V flattened his blazer and put on a smiling face full of fake confidence. “But if I learned one thing in my office days, then how to deal with this”, he said and made a wide gesture with his hands to point at, well... everything.

 

It was a warm night and one couldn't say if the party was happening in the house or in front of it. However it looked like most people enjoyed being outside. There were fire bowls all over, several bars that offered drinks for free and preem food and a DJ playing the hottest shit of Night City. But no songs from Kerry's new album – V recognized that.

However one thing he noticed for sure: it wasn't even midnight yet and people were already drunk. And there he'd feared he would arrive too early.

And oh boy he saw himself confronted with a mob of people. While making his way through the mass, he thought that he even recognized a few faces – and was that Lizzy Wizzy over there?! - though he didn't know the names of most of them. Yet V had no eyes for any of them while he was looking for Kerry.

Viktor was behind him but obviously not wowed by anything he saw. Or anyone, on that matter. V wondered if it was even possible to impress this man at all. Would probably take another fight against Razor Hugh to achieve that. However this calm and cool nature, that he basically radiated like a soothing aura, was exactly what V wanted and needed here.

“V!”, he suddenly heard a familiar voice calling out his name and suddenly he became much more relaxed. His eyes searched for the source of the voice and he found him in the middle of a group of people, waving eagerly at him.

Kerry just shoved the people aside like they meant nothing to him – which was most likely true – and made his way to V.

“Finally you show up! Already thought you would ditch me”, Kerry said and flung an arm around V's shoulder.

“It's called being fashionable late”, V stated and earned a snort from Kerry who then turned his head and gave Viktor a greeting nod.

“Viktor.”

“Kerry.”

For a second or two there was something unspoken between the two men. Viktor was one of the few people who actually knew about the relationship between Kerry and V. Because, as Kerry liked to say, no one needed to know shit about his private life. And V wasn't one to be very open about it either. But Viktor was special to V and Kerry understood.

 

Viktor gave V a nod of approval and made his way towards one of the bars.

Kerry frowned a bit, his arm still around V's shoulders.

“Never got the feeling Viktor likes me very much”, he stated.
“Oh that's just the grumpy old man image he likes to keep up”, V said with a thin smile, “Pretty sure he fell in love with you the moment he saw your Vodka collection.”

V noticed how Viktor ordered something and not a second later a woman spoke up to Vik, wearing some serious interest on her face. Of course he couldn't hear what she said but V was sure that not all of Night City had forgotten the man who once fought in the finals of the Watson Boxing Grand Prix.

“Come on, want you to meet a few people”, Kerry said and got V's attention again though he'd hoped that he wouldn't have to go through a night of shaking hands and meeting people but whatever made Kerry happy.

 

After learning and forgetting the names of fifteen figure skaters, Kerry's new new manager and someone who looked like he belonged to Maelstrom but had money to golden up every chrome in his body, V decided that he needed a drink. Half way towards the bar he ran into Viktor who seemed to know exactly what he needed – because he carried two glasses and pressed one of them into V's hand.

V took a sip through the straw.

“Vik... is that a Virgin Piña Colada...?”

“Yep”, Viktor chirped, feeling completely innocent of this crime.

“Really now...”, V sighed, “... excuse me while I make my way to the bar to fill it with something tasty.”

“Do what you must, then. I am going to plunder the buffet.”

 

V knew that Viktor meant well. So what, yes, he was a dying man. No cure in sight. And yes, maybe alcohol made the symptoms worse. Dulled the effect of the pills. But then again how much worse could it get? That he would die more?

 

“Hey choom, can you put in something strong? I don't like my drinks virgin”, V said and lifted the cocktail glass, in front of the bartenders face – who just stared at him and then searched for some Rum.

“And your flings?”, someone suddenly said next to him and V turned around, almost startled. He relaxed and smirked when he noticed that it was in fact Kerry who just emptied a glass filled with whatever (Martini, most likely) like it was water. That man could chug down booze, it was impressive.

“Nah I prefer my men with some experience”, V answered, jumping on the 'hey-lets-act-like-we-just-met-at-the-bar-and-flirt-like-crazy'-train.

“That an invitation?”, Kerry purred and there was this look in his eyes, this deep gaze that send a pleasant and hot shiver through V's spine, even though he felt like a rabbit in front of a snake. Helpless prey, surrendered to its hunter. But before he could sulk on this feeling, the bubble burst.

“Hey Kerry. Nice party.” The voice was unfamiliar and cold and came from someone behind V. But judging from the look on Kerry's face, it was someone he knew.

“Ariel, wow! Didn't expect you to show up but it sure is nice to see you!”, Kerry said, dropping the seducing tone in his voice in an instant. He grabbed V by the shoulders and turned him around so he could face the newcomer who just broke into their little chat.

“This is V, my uh... right hand. The little bird who comes and frees me out of every stupid situation I skitter into. Also a really preem merc, if you ever need one. V, this is Ariel. Good pal. Refused to work as chef for me once – his loss, I say. Would've been fine money, Ariel!”, Kerry introduced the two to each other. V couldn't help but wonder if Ariel was one of Kerry's exes. Not that he cared that much – Kerry had been living a long life before running into V – but there was a strange tension. At least around Ariel. V noticed something like that – Kerry obviously didn't. Maybe he was just in a too good mood or had too much drinks already or just didn't care enough. Could be all of those things, actually.

“Come to think of it, that was kinda the last time we talked to each other”, Kerry said and something in Ariel seemed to snap. Obviously he'd been holding up some front that now collapsed.

“Seriously, Kerry? Seriously? Have you gone senile now or did the drugs finally wiped out the last brain cell that tried to hold up?”, Ariel hissed and V took a surprised step back.

And it looked like Kerry was just as confused as he was. “The fuck you're talking about?”

Ariel narrowed his eyes. “I don't know, maybe the fuck we had last week? And you promising me to call but instead you didn't even stay 'til the morning or even invited me to this little get-together, where half of Night City's who-is-who seems to be present? And when I tried to call you the number I had wasn't even working any more!”

 

Cold. Severe cold was what V felt in that moment. It was like he'd been thrown into a pool of ice. And why did it feel like someone put their hands around his throat and tried to strangle him? He fought hard to keep up his composure, his front and his brain immediately switched into merc-mode, it was an act of self protection, an instinct that kicked in when he was in deadly or tight situations while doing his job. Last thing he wanted was to snap right here, right now.

He took his drink.

“Excuse me. I guess you two have something to talk about”, he heard himself say with a diplomatic voice and tone that belonged to an old V, a corpo V, an office rat.

“V, wait- Ariel what the fuck-?! V....!” Kerry's voice seemed to come from far away, like his words had to fight their way through a thick cloud that suddenly engulfed V's brain. He paid him no mind and felt how his body moved him towards Kerry's house and into the bathroom.

 

---

 

V looked at his mirror self.
It was pale.

Of course it was pale – he'd just thrown up.

“Shit”, he mumbled to himself and splashed another wave of cold water into his face.

He heard a knock on the door and Viktor's voice.

“V – that you in there? Are you alright?”

'Shit no, I am not.'

“Yeah, yeah don't worry, I'm fine just a bit dizzy, it will be gone in a minute.”

“Are you sure? I just saw you basically raging off from the bar. And you were damn white in the face. I can check you up, if you want, see if everything's alright with the-”

“Vik, I'm good. Really”, V insisted. It was hard right now to keep the anger out of his voice. Viktor didn't deserve that. Wasn't his fault, after all.

Kerry however...

“Viktor, is V inside?” Speaking of the devil.

V clenched his jaw and hoped for a sudden telepathic connection to Viktor to tell him to lie to Kerry. He didn't want to face him right now. Not like this. Not when he looked and felt so weak. Oh he would face him for sure. But he wanted to do this like an adult. He wanted to tell him: 'Kerry, fuck off' but he wanted to say it with dignity. Not when his feelings were boiling over and made him throw up into the bathroom sink, for fucks sake.

But there was no telepathic connection.

And Viktor had no clue.

 

“Yeah, guess he's-”, Viktor started and Kerry just barged in.

“Could swear I locked the door”, V said dryly.

“It's my house, ya know”, Kerry replied and shut the door behind him and quickly closed the gap between them.

“V – fuck. It's bullshit. I would never-”

“You couldn't even wait for my body to get cold to find someone new to fuck?!”, V snapped, giving Kerry no chance to even finish his sentence. It wasn't usual for V to burn hot like this but fuck, this situation was something entirely different. It was at this moment that V realized how much he fucking loved this man – because otherwise he wouldn't be in such a gut wrecking pain. And his words – they hit the right spot with full force. Kerry looked thrown off. Actually hurt. It was no secret to V how much Kerry hated the confrontation with V's inevitable death.

“Yes, me an Ariel we had something going. But that was before I met you and it was actually him who turned me down. Yeah I might have appeared a little bit too desperate back then but fuck, I was lonely. But we haven't met again. And I have no fucking clue what this leadhead is talking about.”

“He seemed pretty certain”, V said and rather stared at the pale face in the mirror than at the man next to him. “Didn't look like he was faking his disappointment either.”

“I know, I know. And it makes no fucking sense. V. I would never cheat on you.” Kerry grabbed V's shoulder to force him to turn around, to face him. V wanted to resist but found no strength to do so. Yet it was impossible to look Kerry straight into his eyes right now.

“I know how it feels like, okay? And I wouldn't want anyone to ever feel it too. Specially not you”, Kerry said.

V frowned. But said nothing.

“Once caught a guy I've been with balls deep in another guys ass. In my own fucking bed. Believe me. I do know how it feels like. It crushes your heart in the most fucked up way possible and only utter human garbage would cheat on their partners. Those things are not fucking accidents. It's not like you slip and oh, surprise, your dick landed in the naked ass of someone else! V. You gotta believe me.”

V had to admit there was sincerity in Kerry's voice. And honest hatred about cheating, too. Yet it made no. Fucking. Sense.

“So... what. You wanna tell me Ariel made it up – why? What would he gain from confronting you with something you'd never done? I'm sorry, Ker. But it makes no sense.”

“V... I... I don't know, okay? Maybe he's gone Cyberpsycho or wants to fuck with me for whatever reason...!”

As much as he wanted to – V found it hard to believe Kerry. And Kerry on the other hand seemed to sense it.

“Alright. What's... what's your rate. As a merc.”

“Say what now?”

“Your rate. Pay scale. How much money do you take for a job. Ah f-fuck, forget about that, I pay whatever.”

“Kerry. What. The fuck.”

“You do infiltration, correct? Gathering of information too, right? Well I wanna hire you to find out what the fuck this stupid gonk is talking about.”

V closed his eyes. “Kerry this is...”, he started with a sigh.

“What? You do it or not?”

V opened his eyes again and offered Kerry nothing but silence for a few moments that seemed to stretch to an eternity. Part of him just wanted to get away. From Kerry, this party, this house, everything. Grab a bottle of whatever, go home, get drunk, maybe yell into his pillow. Another part of him, however, just didn't want to believe that Kerry would actually cheat on him, no matter what Ariel had said, no matter if it made no sense for Ariel to lie about it, either. He couldn't possibly know about their relationship, so why bother destroying it? And it was one thing to lie in front of media or the public about having a one night stand with Kerry Eurodyne but why confront Kerry himself with it if it wasn't the truth?

And that was the thing.

If it wasn't the truth.

V was torn between trusting Kerry and trusting his common sense.

But alas – there was also the professional in V.

“Alright. I will dig for the truth. And I will dig it out. That's not a promise – that's a threat”, V said before he shoved Kerry aside and left the bathroom without another word.

 

Kerry suddenly saw himself confronted with a side of V that he never got to see before. He knew that this V existed – the V who wasn't a sweet and cute gonk that send him smileys and cringy but oh so lovely messages. Kerry knew that there was a ruthless V too, the man who wiped out entire gangs, unseen, hiding in the shadows. The man who hacked and reprogrammed a whole Militech base and forced their tech to kill every single soldiers inside, a man who made Cyberpsychos his bitch without blinking an eye – or actually turned people into Cyberpsychos, turning them against their allies. The streets thugs knew his name and they feared it.

 

Kerry wouldn't exactly say that he was scared but suddenly he wished they would've just yelled at each other for a while, maybe thrown a bottle or two against the wall, maybe cried a bit, figured out that Kerry didn't lie and Ariel was a fucking asshole, had intense makeup sex – and everything would be preem again by the morning.

 

But Kerry knew: life wasn't a love song.

 

---

 

Fresh air was good. Fresh air was nice. Even though the air was still filled with voices and blasting music and it was giving V a headache, he felt better after he'd left the bathroom. Or maybe it was because he wasn't stuck with Kerry in a tight room anymore.

 

He took in a deep breath and tried to concentrate. There was a vortex of emotions swirling inside of him, somewhere between wanting to scream, throw up again, smash something and an almost frightening tranquillity. But maybe that was just the calm before the storm. V figured that it was the best to focus on what he needed and wanted to do instead of trying to sort the chaos in his mind and head right now. Was no use anyway.

 

V found Ariel at the edge of the party. He was sitting on a lone chair and stared into the wilderness beyond Kerry's property and judging from the empty glasses around him, he'd already downed a lot of drinks. V noticed a slight blush on his face – could be anger, alcohol or tears. Part of him didn't give a fuck how this man felt. But it was important information about the sincerity of his claim. Faking emotions through words was easy – but the body spoke its own language.

 

“Ariel. A word?”, V said, his voice cold, looking down on this pathetic piece of a man – in more than a literal way.

Ariel lifted his head and frowned.

“Ah. Kerry's right hand”, he scoffed and turned his gaze away again.

“His right hand, head of his security, king of the Afterlife... I have many names. But let's just stick with V for now. And I just got a couple of questions, nothing else. Where did you and Kerry meet last week?”

Now Ariel gave him more than just two seconds of attention. Maybe dropping 'king of the Afterlife' gave him something to think about. Ariel frowned on the question and let his gaze wander over V, from tip to toe, like he could read his intentions that way.

“None of your damn business. That's between me and him alone.”

V had to swallow his disgust for Ariel. He didn't even know this man, he wasn't used to have such feelings towards strangers but just the mere thought that this guy and Kerry, naked and entangled in some hotel room-

V took in a sharp breath. Bad timing for such images.

“Well he made it my business by paying me to find out what your game is. It's bad reputation if someone goes around spilling false claims about one night stands, specially that close to the release of his newest album...”, V said and for a moment he was amazed by his ability to sound so calm and professional right now.

Ariel however laughed dryly.

“Game? My game? Just piss off already.”

What followed was the sound of charging Gorilla arms. Suddenly Ariel sat up straight, his face turning white.

“I usually prefer to do things the kind way but I also have other options to get the answers I want to have”, V stated almost friendly and Ariel's eyes widened on the implication.

“D-dark Matter!”, Ariel stuttered.

Pathetic piece of...

“It was last week, like I said. I was surprised to see him there, haven't seen him in months. I was sad, I wanted to get drunk and maybe get a bit uh... company...”

“Get to the point.”

“I am, jeez! A-anyway Kerry was there and I thought: why not. I regret that I turned him down and cut things off with him... so I thought maybe I could refresh what we had and... you know, in hindsight it was a bit odd and I was pissed off, because he didn't recognize me at first or even remember my name. I suppose he was on some mean ass drugs... But I was a bit at a... low point that night, so I ignored it”, Ariel continued with bitterness in his voice. “And after a few minutes he seemed to remember and he was so full of energy and so... so charming, in a disarming way, and next thing we got us a room and ended up doing it the whole night only for him to vanish the morning after and I woke up, alone.”

God, V just wanted to throw up again.

But he had to focus on the important things Ariel had told him: Kerry acting odd. Dark Matter. Also Ariel clearly didn't sound like a liar. Which just raised the desire in V to actually lift his fists and release the charge into this stupid face and-

 

“V, hey. What are you doing here.” Viktor's voice cut sharp through V's thoughts. He turned around and it was only when he saw Viktor's concerned face that he realized how close he'd gotten to Ariel already, fists raised and all.

“Let's get you home, come on”, Viktor said softly and put an arm around V's shoulder to gently force him to leave.

Ariel relaxed visibly.

 

Just a minute later they were sitting in V's car on their way home.

“Stupid question, I know but: are you okay, V?”, Viktor asked.

“No.”

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

“No.”

For a while they sat in silence, Viktor driving down the streets, V staring through the window.

“You know all those years ago... when I lost the Finals... I remember lying there, on my back, in the ring. Couldn't move an inch. People cheered. But not for me. And I thought: that's it. My chance to be someone in this city – wasted. A once-in-a-lifetime-chance. And I screwed it up. It ate me up... until I realized I had to let go. Things that drag you down... you need to drop them. Or you'll drown”, Viktor said and threw a quick glance at V, to see his reaction.

 

“Can't and won't, Vik. Not this time. They say you shouldn't go angry to bed... but I don't want to flatline without solving this issue. And I will solve it.”

 

---

 

The next night V parked his bike in front of the Dark Matter. And his mood could not have been worse. It was the day of the album release – and every screen in this cursed city showed Kerry's face, every radio played his songs. A week ago V had been looking forward to this day. Throw the big party the day before and sit with Kerry on his couch on release day, just the two of them.

The club was full of people. And V didn't need long to find out why and who could be seen in the center of attention.

He grabbed his phone.

“Kerry, where are you right now?”

“Home, ass on the couch where you should be too, why?”

V grit his teeth about this comment that was so absolutely unnecessary right now, but at the same time he suddenly felt how anxiety, anger and pain just rolled off from him like a water drop from a lotus leaf. A sigh of relief escaped his throat.

“Because I am looking right at you right now. You got like two women in each arm and look pretty busy.”

“The fuck?!”, Kerry yelled from the other side of the phone. “V! Where are you! I am going to-”

“I will handle it, Ker.”

And with that V hung up.

 

With sudden and professional calm he took his time to order a drink at the bar and found himself a nice booth, one without spotlight, one where no one would pay attention to him. Not that it was needed – all eyes where on 'Kerry' right now anyway, praising his new album.

 

It didn't take him long to get through the firewall, turning off all warning signals about someone breaching in was a bit harder though but only a bit. With that clear he uploaded a tiny Contagion virus into the brain of this 'Kerry' and waited.

And he didn't need to wait long.

'Kerry' suddenly seemed very green in the face and excused himself quickly, forced his way through the people and headed straight towards the bathrooms.

That was when V was right on his heels – and after slipping through the door, he made sure to lock it so no one else could follow.

 

He found 'Kerry' in one of the stalls, puking out his guts. Quiet and calm V waited for him to finish and then walked over, kneeled down next to him and grabbed him by his hair to force this man to look at his torturer.

“You and me – we're going to have a nice, long talk now, choom.”

 

---

 

Two hours later V was sitting where he should've been sitting the whole evening: Kerry's couch.

“Got everything here. His name, address, birth place, family, personal ID, name of his dog. Everything you want and need to know”, V said, holding up a data shard while he watched how Kerry walked up and down in front of him, completely furious. The 'fuck' ratio in Kerry's language had never been higher.

 

Finally Ker stopped and grabbed the shard. “Gonna let my lawyers off the leash. They are going to ruin this fuckers life. He's so fucking screwed. They are going to tear him a new corn hole. Ya know there's a good reason I trademarked my face couple of years ago but that someone out there actually has the guts to-! Again!”

V raised an eyebrow on the again. But he didn't want to dig deeper on that matter. He watched Kerry a while and waited until he was at least a bit more cooled down before he grabbed his hand and stopped him from walking restlessly in circles.

“I'm sorry, Ker. So sorry that I believed even for a second that you would cheat on me. Sorry that I doubted you.”

Kerry's constant frown of anger turned into a surprised look by that sudden apology.

“V hey – honestly? It's okay. I don't know how I would've reacted if the tables had been turned.”

“Oh but I know. You would've made a scene, trashed a guitar and burned my non-existent yacht.”

“Woah. First of all: fuck you. Second: probably.”

 

With a heavy and annoyed groan, Kerry finally dropped on the couch next to V.

“I know I can be a pain in the ass at times, a demanding diva at others and that it's not easy to put up with my shit either”, Kerry said with a sudden soft voice, the complete opposite to the angry fire just a few moments ago. “But I would never betray your trust, V. Never.”

V smiled.

“Though I am a bit offended, that Ariel didn't notice the difference. You would've noticed the difference, right V?”

“'course I would”, V said and Kerry let out pleased hum.

 

“Hey Ker... why is it so quiet in here, by the way? Not gonna listen to the newest and hottest album out there...?”

Kerry scoffed. “I've been through these songs so often in the past fucking weeks and months, listening to the demos non stop to smooth them out and perfect them... honestly all I want is some nice, fucking silence right now.”

V's gaze fell on the guitar next to the couch.

He pouted.

“Really?”

“Alright. But only for you”, Kerry smirked and grabbed the guitar, tuned it and hummed the first two tones before hitting the frets. “Whisper your desires in my ear, I won't punish you, believe me, I swear... “

 

 

 

Notes:

Sooo there is a lot of hidden stuff in this one.
Ariel is indeed a man, even though in the English version it's not really clear but in the original Polish texts it is. You can read about his and Kerry's e-mail exchange on Kerry's laptop in game. (thanks at nensha for confirming!)
The song Kerry sings at the end is once again A Vision Of Your Memories, because it's the song he wrote with V in mind.
The title comes from Never Fade Away.
The thing with the fifteen figure skaters is like a little inside joke I made here (again, btw) - read Kerry's e-mail exchange with Louise to know what I mean.
And finally what gave me the whole plot idea:
As a media-proclaimed "god of rock" and living legend, Kerry had been compelled to put a copyright claim on his own biometric data and sign an agreement with the NCPD to scan for unauthorized replications of his facial structure. The process being necessary can be verified by exploring personal data of a Samurai Psychofan.

Chapter 11: The Ring

Summary:

Kerry goes to a Talk Show.
V watches from home.

Notes:

Actually I had two personal one shots and a prompt I was working on but then Emily came with a request for a fic and at first I thought: this is hard to do. But the idea didn't let me go and I like a good challenge and then it kinda wandered around my head the whole day and I knew I just had to sit down and write it.
Emily, I know it's probably not exactly what you had in mind but I still hope you enjoy it!
Everyone else: I hope you like it too, of course :D
I will talk more about the request and why I wrote what I wrote in the End Notes, thus not to spoiler the shot here in the beginning.

Takes place a couple of months after the end (The Sun/Afterlife ending), basically in the same time like the chapter before this.

V walked through his quiet apartment, stopped and looked out of the large windows. The night was dark and clear, the water in the pool outside shimmering in the lights of a full moon and a city that never sleeps. It started to get colder in Night City and those warm summer nights almost seemed to be forgotten already.

He'd planned to get stuff done while he had the evening to himself because Kerry had to be at this what-was-the-name-again Talk Show, being invited to chat about his new album and celebrity gossip or whatever.

Wasn't really V's world.

 

But now he found himself standing in the middle of the room, staring through the large glass front, almost like he'd suddenly forgotten what he wanted to do. A demanding “meow!” gained his attention.

V blinked and felt his feline friend rubbing against his leg.

“Hey Nibbles”, he said and lifted the cat up. He gained a vibrating purr as a thank you. “You know what? Let's forget about work and just make some snacks to eat on the couch while we watch Kerry talking rubbish on TV. That sounds like a good idea?” V didn't care that he talked to a cat right now. There was nothing wrong in being stupid in private.

 

He let Nibbles hop off his arms and searched the fridge for something tasty without having to go through the effort of actual cooking. And while he did, he turned on the TV.

 

“Lots of people at different times announced the end of my career”, V heard Kerry's voice and turned around for a moment to throw a look at the screen. Apparently this Talk Show was already on for a while and V had missed the start. He smiled a bit, seeing Kerry sitting on this wide, red couch. Kerry looked damn good on TV. V was sure that all this spotlight wouldn't suit himself, he was a man of shadows, but Kerry... he bathed in it. Of course V knew about make up and acting and yet he couldn't help but admire Kerry there for a moment, sitting there in his typical leather-and-shirt outfit, wearing this old, worn jacket that screamed authentic Rocker Boy, being all gorgeous and charming and V suddenly realized that he still crushed on this man like he did when they met for the first time.

“I guess it's nice to get to mark the end of each new era. Every time they prophecy my doom and every time they shout ”hallelujah” when they are wrong”, Kerry said with a cocky smirk.

 

V plundered some nachos and cheese from the fridge and walked over to the couch, Nibbles following him like the happy cat he was.

 

“And the hallelujah could not have been louder! Our God of Rock returned to us with new Commandments!”, the woman on the screen chirped. Apparently she was the host of this event and V was sure that he should've known her name, she was a reporter of some sort, a big thing in the world of glitter and fame.

“So let's talk more about your new album. The songs: all of them are so unique and so raw and powerful, it's almost like we're listening to a Kerry Eurodyne reborn! Is that why you named the album after yourself?”

Kerry nodded and lit a cigarette. “Ya know Vonda... when I worked on these sweet songs, those melodies that drill into your brain, those lyrics that keep you up at night... it was like seeing different versions of myself. Was like walking through a damn wax cabinet. Creepy, a bit. But powerful.”

Ah. Vonda. Right. Vonda Myles. She was the annoying kind of reporter, V remembered now. Probably the reason why she was so high up in the biz.

V stuffed some nachos into his mouth and snorted. It was funny to hear Kerry speak like this about the songs. Just a few weeks ago he was cursing the hell out of them because he was stuck with some loop or because some guitar riff didn't exactly sound like he wanted it to or because some gonk in the studio did something wrong – again. According to Kerry no one in the studio knew how to do their job anyway.

 

“Speaking about songs and lyrics, Kerry...”, Vonda said and suddenly had this cheeky voice and a look on her face like a cat who caught the bird, “... is it true that some of them have a deeper meaning about your current relationship status...?”

V frowned and stopped to shove nachos into his face. Kerry's what?

“My songs always mean anything and nothing, honey”, Kerry said with a smirk and a drag of his cigarette.

“But let's talk about A Vision Of Your Memories in this case. A little bird told me that you wrote it with someone special in mind...”, Vonda insisted.

“Ahh, you know, people hear what they wanna hear. I mean. Not even I really know what's truly hiding behind these words.”

The frown on V's face vanished. In fact a warm smile stretched over his face because he knew exactly what the song was about... or rather: who.

“Yes, but this is a bit different, isn't it? With all the rumours and you wearing the ring on your finger...?”

The smile on V's face froze and gave place to confusion. The heck was this woman talking about? Kerry seemed to have a similar reaction because for a moment, he looked seriously puzzled. But V was sure that only he noticed how Kerry fell out of his role there for a second.

“Ring?”, Kerry said and raised an eyebrow, giving Vonda a bored look while he lifted up both of his hands to show off all of his five rings.

“Ahh sneaky Kerry, you thought we wouldn't notice!”, Vonda said with a wink and leaned in a bit. “You swapped them. The plain golden one, the wedding ring I might say... is on your left ring finger now! You can tell us, Kerry! After all it's good news that you got married again! Just too bad you didn't invite me!”, she said and added an annoying fake laugh.

 

V sat there with a mix of fascination and bewilderment. People paid attention to the order of the rings Kerry was wearing on his hands...?! Like... wasn't there more important stuff going on in the city than a celebrity switching rings...?! V was one hundred percent sure that Kerry didn't even pay attention to such things. Most of the time he didn't even bother to take them off. Just sometimes, when they did some... things in the bedroom.

Like last night.

Where rings would've been annoying.

A lot.

 

V could say that he was honestly baffled. He knew this whole show would be ridiculous but that it would reach a peak of bullshittery that fast... kind of amazing, actually.

V watched Kerry's face who actually sat there and said nothing for a second. He was sure that Kerry would get up and leave. In a normal interview he would probably find some excuse right now to walk away but it was hard to do in a studio, right? However, judging from the look on his face, Kerry might as well be close to a table flip...

“It means nothing, Vonda. If anything it just means that I woke up this morning with a hangover and didn't give a flying damn how to sort my rings. How about we talk about Shivers, which is the real hit of the new album if you ask me, with riffs like NC has never heard before-”

“Ohhh but I think your fans and the audience are more curious about this line here, in A Vision Of Your Memories: First time I saw you, it was match point and set...”, Vonda just kept babbling, persistent like the boil at the ass of society that she was. V wondered how much it would take until Kerry would burst. He had a short fuse after all and some serious temper too. And no one cut off Kerry Eurodyne like that and got out there alive. And indeed Kerry grimaced slightly.

“You know people said a lot of things about me, Vonda. Most of them aren't true”, Kerry said, clearly sounding pissed off by now.

But either Vonda wasn't aware or she didn't give a fuck. V was sure it was the latter.

“Of course, but my bird chirps about a nice, private wedding ceremony in Florida...”

V was sure that he would've already walked out of the studio. No matter what media would say the next day. This was more than annoying, this was straight up stressful. But it was part of being at the top, wasn't it... a famous Rock Star, an icon of the city... V was king of the shadows, a broker of secrets, a name whispered in the streets but Kerry, Kerry was a man in the spot light. And for some reason these gonks out there went crazy about any tiny bit of information about his private life. Like it mattered. “When your own life is so sad that you have to start to care about the life of someone else...”, V mumbled to himself and shook his head.

“... and I mean you got the ring and this soooong...”, Vonda continued and then V saw it. The moment something snapped in Kerry. Ahh this furious anger in his eyes... how much he loved it.

“What”, Kerry snarled, “You wanna hear that I fuck the King of the Afterlife or something!?”

 

V's eyes got wide and he dropped the hand full of nachos. Nibbles was on the spot to eat them straight from the ground.

“Did he just...”, V mumbled.

 

“Satisfied, Vonda? Can we now please get back to something more interesting, like: music? My music?!”, Kerry said, rolling his eyes.

And indeed Vonda Myles was for once out of words.

But only for one or two gracious seconds.

“Married to the King of the Afterlife, what a turn of events dear audience, who might this mysterious person be, a dangerous mercenary or fixer maybe...”, she said with enthusiasm, smiling widely into the cameras and Kerry threw his arms in the air. “I never said a word about being married...!”

 

Silence.

 

V had turned off the TV.

 

There was no reason to watch this shit show any longer.

 

---

 

It was shortly after midnight when V heard the lift and the door to his apartment opened.

Kerry greeted him with a tired “Fuuuck...”

He threw his jacket into a corner of the room along with his phone, that was buzzing non-stop and walked straight towards the kitchen counter to open up some Tequila.

He drank straight from the bottle.

 

V sat in silence on the couch, watching him without a word.

 

“What”, Kerry said. “You got this judging look on your face.”

V slowly raised one eyebrow.

“Also you look like a super villain with Nibbles on your lap like that”, Kerry pointed out.

V got up, slowly, to give the cat time to jump down.

“Married to me, hu”, V said, arms crossed over his chest. “Would've been kind if you'd told me about that. Would've liked to attend my own wedding.”

Kerry rolled his eyes. “So you saw the show. Thought you hate shit like that.”

“Yeah I do. It was amusing at first but went downhill fast”, V said, holding Kerry's gaze.

The tension in the room was so thick one might as well cut it with a knife.

“You shouldn't have said that. Really”, V then stated, his voice colder than he wanted it to be. Kerry felt that and like so often, it put him in a more angry, defensive mode, holding out for an argument.

“Seriously? The thought of being married to me disturbs you that much?”, he growled and devoted himself to the bottle in his hand.

“That's not the point and you know it”, V said calmly. “The point is that I have enemies, Kerry. Powerful enemies. I am a very wanted man. Last thing I want is leading them to you. Specially when I kick the bucket and won't be around to protect you any more.”

Kerry threw the bottle on the ground. Nibbles hissed and searched for cover in the upper part of the apartment. V didn't even twitch – but oh how much he loved it when he had to clean up Kerry's mess.

Not.

“I can watch out for myself, V”, Kerry said bitter. “Didn't get that old because I'm a fucking pussy. Once defeated a Cyberpsycho with nothing but a few bottles of Tequila. He stormed into my room, backstage, in Memphis. I drank with him, choom cried his eyes out, shot at a few things and then blacked out. I can handle myself. But what I can't is... is...” Kerry blinked, suddenly looking around for something else to focus on.

 

V tilted his head a bit and took a step closer.

 

“Is what, Ker?”, he asked softly.

 

“... living without you, you stupid gonk”, Kerry finished his sentence and suddenly grabbed V by the shirt, pulling him closer, crashing into a deep kiss.

V would've yelped but his lips got sealed so quickly, he had no chance.

“And I don't need a ring on my finger or a label on our relationship to know that”, Kerry murmured against V's lips, still holding him tightly at the collar.

V hummed in consent but then let out a sigh. “I know, I know. But we've been through this, Ker-”

“Shut up. I don't wanna hear it, alright? I know it too and I don't wanna hear it.”

Slowly Kerry let go of V's shirt but let his hands wander on his shoulders.

“Wanna help me brighten up my night? Because seriously... it had been a shitty night. Worst fucking interview of my life, I think”, Kerry said.

“I highly doubt that.”

“Yeah whatever. I usually forget what I said in those interviews the day after”, Kerry shrugged and V laughed before he nodded towards the couch.

“Then let's play wedding night, shall we?”

Notes:

Honor to whom honor belongs to: the original idea for this fic belongs to Emily who requested: "Ok then we’ll I’d love to see a v x Kerry marriage fic where kerry is seen wearing a wedding ring and everyone is trying to figure out who he married. And he ends up going on a talk show only to let it slip that he’s married to the owner of the afterlife."
I was faced with two major problems here. One, Kerry being pretty closed up about his private life. But I thought to myself: a really annoying reporter can do that.
Second thing was harder: I just don't see V and Kerry being or getting married. Kerry is divorced and probably had enough bad experiences with marriage and V, at least my V, is not the kind for marriage. And not only because he knows that he will kick the bucket in six months. Just doesn't suit him. Soooo I hope you are still happy with my "solution" to this problem, or rather: my take on. I had a lot of fun writing this because it gave me a nice challenge and just the fact that I spend the whole day forming the idea and thinking about how to write it, doing research and so on, should be proof enough :D
Also, as always, I've hidden a lot of references in this fic but since Easter is around the corner you guys gotta find these "Easter eggs" yourself this time ;)

Chapter 12: No Tears

Summary:

A lone wolf doesn't need to stay alone.

Notes:

While I am working on a prompt and an AU story (that is not going to be part of this collection), I suddenly felt the need for something different. Something I wanted to do for a while now, actually. I wanted to try and catch a certain mood and be more descriptive with this shot (even though there is a huge monologue in it too) - and I've always wanted to turn the tables. We have so many fics about V being the strong one and the one comforting Kerry through the whole depression issue. But V carries his package too. And sometimes he needs comfort as well. Also showing a different side of (my) V and a different side of Kerry.
Based on true event in the game that... kinda got me thinking.

“Night City is a city of shadows” - Kerry Eurodyne

 

 

The sign of Brooklyn Barista drenched the room in red and orange light. Colours that should raise thoughts and dreams about a warm sun, coffee and relaxation but right now it only filled V with aggression, layering over this numb and crushing void he felt inside. He closed the shutters of the window and welcomed the darkness.

Of course it was never really dark in here – the computer, the radio, the hologram generator feeding him ads non-stop, the lights coming from all those tiny little machines in his work shop, the burrito vending machine in the wall. They all filled V's apartment with their own, artificial life, their colours, their never ending neon shine.

Just a tiny version of the city outside.

So fake, too.

And full of shadows.

 

With a grunt V fell on his couch and stared and the black screen of his TV. Maybe he should just watch some random shit to get his mind off. Take out his brain and park it somewhere else. Get flooded by emotions and sensations that weren't his own. Even Johnny was silent. That alone was spooky. Not even Silverhand wanted to handle the swirl of thoughts that ran through V's brain right now. Nibbles slept peacefully in his basket and V was fine with it. He'd thought that he might felt the need to cuddle the cat, to feel better but found himself not even caring about that.

 

He switched on the TV and a loud voice yelled into his face to try the latest flavour of NiCola to 'taste the love'. V breathed out some air through his nose and the corner of his mouth twitched a bit. He didn't even know why he found it funny right now. Maybe because of the irony.

 

His gaze wandered restless over to the table, like he wasn't interested to keep his attention on the screen, when he heard his phone buzzing again. Another message. He'd gotten one a few minutes ago. Or has it been hours? But he felt no need to check his phone. Probably just another fixer with another problem. Or the NCPD thanking him for his service. Or some rich, self absorbed bastard that needed V's skills to wipe an unwanted opponent from the streets of Night City. Or Panam densely asking him out for a date again by claiming that she had another job just for them to end up at night on some lone cliff, waiting for scavengers that would never show up. Like he didn't see through her true intension... girl should've gotten a hint by now, seriously.

He had no nerve for any of this, not right now. Still his eyes caught the name on the screen and for a moment a tormented look crossed V's face.

“Shit...”, he mumbled and reached for the phone.

V didn't want him to think he started to ghost him.

He also didn't want him to worry.

But he also didn't want to pull him into this dark mood.

V didn't know why or when it became a habit but he just knew that he had to sulk in this alone until it was over. That's how it's always been, right? In the office world you were either sheep or wolf and V didn't make it up the ladder because he decided to be a sheep. You leave everything behind for your career. Friends or family are just a benefit, free time a luxury. Your problems are always your own. Share them and you're dead. Relationships were a no-go – last thing you wanted was emotional black mail. Not that there ever had been time for a relationship. There had been barely enough time for some one night stand with an intern, to blow off some steam, in case the pills didn't do it.

Obviously V had kept those habits. And after Jackie's and T-Bugs death he was a lone wolf. Again. Probably for the better. After all people tend to die around him.

 

And still he caught himself with the phone in his hand, reading the message on the screen. He let out a tired sigh, his hand running over his face, into his hair. He stared at the wall like it held all the answers. There was a poster, draped over the one from Lizzy Wizzy that he didn't like anyway. Not after what she'd pulled with him. Fucking celebrity bitch thinking she would get away with murder and him hiding the body.

It was a poster from Kerry's tour in Memphis, him shouting into the mic, eyes closed, 'Second Conflict' was written in bright letters all over it. Kerry had signed it for him and V couldn't help but smile softly, looking at the tiny scribbled heart next to the autograph.

No, Kerry deserved an answer.

V looked at his phone again.

“hey :*,

I know you're probably the most busy merc in NC and I really don't want to set your teeth on edge but just wanted to check if you're still breathin and all. would be a shame if not. so just give me a tiny life sign, okay?”

V scrolled through the conversation.

Oh. It hasn't been minutes.

Or hours.

It had actually been a day.

Kerry's last message was a day old and V had written nothing. Ghosting Viktor because he annoyed him with some check up appointments was one thing but V usually didn't even need a damn minute to answer Kerry. So of course he got worried.

“I'm fine”, V just send back after what felt like forever to him, struggling to figure out what to write. The moment he'd send the message, he regretted it. Nothing screamed 'I am totally not fine, I am the embodiment of not being fine, I am so far away from fine that I can almost say I am fine again' than a message like this. And prompt came the answer, as expected.

“doesn't sound like you are. where you at? wanna come around? we can talk about if you want. just letting ya know I'm home. you can drop by any time. if you want.”

Talk about it. Fuck. That was, to V, the worst option of them all.

“no its okay. am home and tired. will come by soon, promise :)”

He tried it with a smiley even though his face was miles away from a smile. But smileys where good, right? V saw that Kerry was typing. Long text incoming. Great. But then...

“okay.”

Nothing else. He was a bit surprised but welcomed the short message that ended this conversation and threw the phone back on the table and himself into the cushions, staring at the TV again.

 

V couldn't tell how much time had passed when he heard a knock on the door. At first he wasn't even aware of the sound – thought it came from the TV. But then he heard it again.

V sat up, turned off the TV and frowned. The impulse to ignore it was huge and he probably wouldn't have moved his ass from the couch if it wasn't for the voice shouting through the door to him.

“Come on, open up V...”

V's eyes widened and he more or less fell from the couch in his attempt to jump up.

“Shit... what the...”, he mumbled to himself and looked around. His apartment was a god damn mess and his brain tried to calculate if he was able to manage to clean it up in like five seconds while he already walked towards the door to hit the button so it could slide open.

“Jeez, finally”, Kerry said and pushed himself past V into the apartment. He took off his sun glasses and threw a quick glance into the apartment before he turned towards V. “Thought a guy wanted to rob me in the elevator but turns out he just wanted an autograph. Are you aware that your apartment doesn't have a bell? Or a number...?”

“Yeah.”

“Nice... room you got here.”

“You could've given me a warning, I would at least put the trash and my dirty underwear away...” It was the first time Kerry visited him in his apartment and this was definitely not how V wanted it to go. He hastily walked over to the couch table and pulled the empty pizza boxes and a few cans into his arm to just stuff it all into the microwave. “That... doesn't go in there”, he mumbled after realizing what he'd just done and Kerry rolled his eyes.

“Relax. You've seen the state of my house, really think I am bothered by this...” He walked over to the window and opened the shutter. “But... nice view you got here, gotta admit.”

V still stood next to the microwave, leaning against his desk and felt horrible. Now he was depressed and felt awkward! Preem.

Kerry finally turned around, after looking out of the window for a while.

“Ya know someone who writes nothing for a day and then answers with 'I am fine'... usually isn't fine”, he said, his voice surprisingly soft. There was mild worry in Kerry's eyes while he studied V's face but V could only think about how gorgeous he looked over there at the window, the neon lights of Night City in his back.

V held Kerry's gaze. He could play that game. But it was actually the concern he saw that let him relent. “Had a few heavy jobs lately. Not in the best state right now”, he finally said. It wasn't a lie – but it also wasn't the truth.

“Ahhh. You're stressed. Got something against that, you know...”, Kerry said with lowered voice and a wicked smile on his face, walking over to V. He put one hand on his shoulder and his other already reached for V's belt before V stopped him.

“Don't. I'm not in the mood.”

That was something Kerry clearly didn't expect. He blinked, irritation widely written all over his face. Seeing this confusion actually made V angry, even though he knew it wasn't Kerry who deserved that anger.

“But I thought... round two and all... I mean... it was wild on the boat! But we didn't really had enough time to thoroughly enjoy each other for a night...”

“Sex's all you want from me? That's what I am for you?”, V snarled. This mix of sadness, of anger... it wasn't smart right now to have a conversation. Any conversation.

Kerry backed off and lifted his hands.

“Woah okay. Where is this leading now? Care to tell me what's up? 'cause you know... I'm not only good at blow jobs. Got a black belt at cuddling, too.”

V dropped his head. “... sorry”, he just mumbled. He felt like something wanted to get out. But it clearly wasn't the anger and clearly shouldn't be directed at Kerry – because his burst just felt as unsatisfying as it was unjustified.

“... and I am a good listener, too, believe it or not. Speak to me. Something is eating you up and it shouldn't. Trust me... I know what I am talking about.”

V lifted his head and gave Kerry a tortured look.

“You don't know how, am I right...”, Kerry said, his voice now more or less a soft whisper. Then he took a brave step towards V again and grabbed his hands, leading him towards the bed. “Come on. Just try it. Like... let it out. Whatever is going on in that sweet head of yours, spill it. Won't judge. Won't comment. Will just sit there and listen. Alright?”

V accepted reluctantly and found himself sitting at the edge of his bed a moment later, Kerry sitting next to him.

“Two days ago...”, he finally started but then shook his head. “No. Wrong start.” V took in a deep breath and started over. “I worked on this job for a while now. For a fixer I know for longer. She's been doing research on cyberpsychosis. Wants to find out what makes people go psycho and more important: what can heal them. She's really onto something there. Wants to cure the psychos rather than killing them. I made sure to put the cyberpsychos down without flatlining them for good and she would take them in later. The more I worked on this job, the more I learned about cyberpsychosis myself. And I got it, Kerry. I understand that shit now. To a huge degree, at least. Fuck. Should get my PhD and settle down when this is all over... to understand it, to really get at it, I started to develop something in my cyberdeck. It's a combination of a few breach daemons, system reset viruses and a few other things, I spare you the details... but I found out that you can make someone go cyberpsycho through nothing but a complex virus. Lethal little fucker I created there. Not that easy, though. Needs some low tech, some illegal implants with older software and weaker firewalls to actually eat through but... yeah. It was theory crafting at best and then my ego wanting to see if I can actually write such a program. Turns out I can. Was proud of it – and swore myself to lock that little fucker away for good. Maybe keep it in my cyberdeck for really bad cases though I couldn't think of any case that bad.”

V took in a deep breath and risked a glance at Kerry but he just sat next to him, his eyes on V's face, listening to his every word. It was impossible to read for V what was going on in Kerry's head right now. Was he impressed? Maybe scared? Curious? Fascinated? Or rather disgusted?

“And now it was... it was two days ago when the NCPD came to me with this small thing. Some Tyger Claw thugs gave them a hustle. Drug deals or something. No clue. Nothing I haven't done several times already. Usually it's under my pay scale but I was in the neighbourhood and thought: might as well. Same, easy procedure as always. Sneak up on them, get the high ground, check their numbers, break their network, load my sweet little Contagion virus into it and watch them all puke out their lungs. Call NCPD and let the boys arrive to lock them up. Get the money. Easy. But this time I... sat there, on a roof, keeping a low profile. Was working through their firewalls. Shutting down their connective network. Was fucking easy. And while I sat there I wondered... why not. Why not test it out on them. Why not load up my little daemon and watch how and if it works. Their implants are weak, their software out dated. Should' be an easy and fast upload. Something in me... wanted to see it in action. So... I uploaded it into the brain of one of these thugs. I knew the upload would take a few seconds, so I kept myself out of range when I heard one of them getting a phone call. Was a woman. And she said... she... on the phone, she...”

V blinked and pressed his lips together. He felt Kerry scooting closer.

“She said: 'Mommy will be late, sweety. You need to make yourself dinner today.' That was the moment when the upload was complete. And I'm a genius, Kerry... I don't need to tell you that my viruses work... her choom suddenly cried out in horror and madness and started to unload his whole magazine into her guts before he wrecked his whole gang and finally shot himself. Was a blood bath.”

V took in a deep breath and then nodded slowly.

“So yeah, Ker”, he said, “I created a virus that let's people go cyberpsycho! Nova, isn't it. But that's not the worst. I'm not a killer, Kerry. Yeah I've shot my fair amount of people. More often than not. In self defence... I don't blink when I have to. But it wasn't the case here. The gang had no clue I was around. Could've done it like I always do. Quick, funny Contagion coma and a week of head ache and stomach pain for them behind NCPD bars. But something in me didn't give a flying fuck. I wanted to see them die just to know if my little virus works the way I wanted to. I wasted no thought, not a single thought, on them. That they are humans, too. With lives. Trying to get through it. In this city of shadows. And now there's a little girl or boy out there who has to make themselves dinner for the rest of their life. Fuck.”

V buried his face in his hands and waited for Kerry to say something. Probably along the line of 'wasn't your fault, they choose the gang life, they know the risks, they should've seen it coming.'

But nothing like that came, in fact Kerry just said nothing at all so V lifted his head again and turned towards him. He wasn't sure what to expect.

But he clearly did not expect this.

 

V felt Kerry's hands on his shoulders, forcing him on his back with gentle yet firm pressure. Kerry was above him now, pinning him down, not breaking eye contact. Not even a second.

“Why don't you say something”, V whispered.

“What do you want me to say?”

“I don't know. That I shouldn't think too much about it? Shouldn't let it get to me? Because it's part of my job to kill people?”

“That's what you wanna hear...?”

“... No.”

 

Kerry lowered himself down on V's body, bringing their faces closer.

“Sometimes there is nothing to say. No right thing. Think this is one of these cases. But... there is no reason you carry this weight on your shoulders all alone.”

“I guess...”, V mumbled and felt how he started to lose himself in those eyes that were shining so blue in the grey of his apartment. “Guess I just... my problems should not be yours, Kerry.”

“Bullshit. Throw them at me. I can take it.”

V chuckled weakly. “I wanted to be the one who protects you from the shadows, remember? Not pull you into them.”

“You're fucking strong V, you can do that and punch your own shadows. Just... let me be part of your life, okay? That's all I'm asking for.”

“But Ker-”

This time it was V who couldn't finish his sentence as he felt Kerry's lips on his own. Tension fell from him, a tension he'd held for hours, no - days now and it even made his body shiver slightly. A low hum escaped his throat and his hand roamed Kerry's back, up into his hair, clawing desperately into it like he just needed something to hold onto. He almost expected Kerry to start and work on his belt again but instead he just deepened their kiss before he let his lips slowly wander away from V's mouth, treating his neck with tiny kisses that just felt like a soft and warm brush against his skin. And then Kerry rolled off from V and pulled him into a tight embrace. That moment V knew how desperately he'd needed something as simple and soothing like a warm hug. He rested his head against Kerry's chest, listening to his steady heart beat, taking in his scent, this alluring mix of tobacco, perfume and something that made V's heart skip a beat. And he finally allowed himself to relax. V felt the sleep derivation the moment he closed his eyes.

 

“You're not alone anymore, V.”

 

 

Notes:

The event with the Tyger Claw woman calling her child did happen to me.
Also the Cyberpsychosis hack is indeed only obtainable through crafting, after unlocking certain perks in the Quick Hack tree.
Both of these things inspired me to this fic.

Chapter 13: Death And The Moon

Summary:

V get's a lesson on Art. Art with a capital A.

Notes:

This was written for a prompt: "Street Art" together with Nat_Why and nensha (make sure to check out their texts too!) and I have to say I really like how this one here turned out. Might even be my personal favourite so far! It's one of the longer ones (still shorter than That One Sin) but I hope you still enjoy. As always, it's based on true events that happened to me in the game.
It's set between "Off the Leash" and "Boat Drinks" - in the game, there are several days between these two quests, I think even up to seven, more or less. I felt that something more could've happened between V and Kerry there and I also wanted to use that opportunity for more character study.
Big fat thanks goes out to nensha for helping me with a lot of things! You're the best :)

Also... did I hide some Futurama meme in this fic? Mmmmaybe :D

'You took a shower and now you're doing your hair? What's next, you go to bed early and eat properly?' Johnny's voice was full of sarcasm, like so often. But by now V had learned not to be bothered. Probably was Johnny's awful way to show that he cared or something.

'You should've tried that too, ya know, when you still had a body. Then people would maybe remember you a little bit different and I would have a better looking hallucination of you', V answered mentally while he focused on his image in the mirror. It had been a while since he'd used some hair wax. He wasn't working for Arasaka anymore so he never felt the need for it, but now he actually found himself fumbling around with the green strands on his head to shove them into this certain I-just-got-out-of-bed-but-look-adorable-style.

He even renewed the tiny braid in his beard. Picked up the razor to smooth out the edges of the scruff on his cheeks. Used some tiny scissors to bring the moustache in shape.

He straightened his shoulders and tried a charming smile before he gave his mirror-self a wink and some finger guns.

'I saw that. Don't do that again. Never do that again', Johnny commented dryly.

'I am a good looking bastard and you can't ruin my mood today', V chirped and looked for some nice but decent perfume on his sink.

'Fuck, you're overdoing it, V, come on. I think you're giving the whole roof-top-kiss-thing too much significance. If I were you, I wouldn't think too much about it.' Johnny appeared right next to him, leaning against the sink and annoyingly moved himself into V's vision.

'Are you worried I get my heart broken?', V answered amused.

'Do I look worried? I'm not worried. Just trying to get your brain outta your pants, am helping you, that's all. Kerry had someone to suck his dick after every concert and it was never the same guy twice. Am actually surprised he didn't try and get you to kneel before him back there.'

V frowned. 'You know, Silverhand...', he started, '… first: I shouldn't take date advice from someone like you. I had a peek into your memories and yeah... let's just leave it at that. Second: It's been fifty years. People change, Johnny... just because you are stuck in your ways doesn't mean others are.'

Johnny shrugged.

'Also I feel like there's a real connection between him and me... and I...', V started hesitant but didn't even finish his sentence.

'Mhhhm. Maybe it's just my memories of him that give you that feeling', Johnny said and managed to ruin V's good mood just like that, with one simple sentence. 'All I am saying is that you should maybe focus on other things, V. Would hate to see you getting disappointed.' And with that Johnny vanished.

“Ah. So you do worry about me”, V mumbled, quite sure that Johnny still heard him. Yet it made him think. What if his feelings weren't all his own? What if the reason he felt so connected to Kerry truly was nothing else but the fact that Johnny knew him in his past life? He already couldn't tell if his thoughts were his own. Memories got mixed up. He recalled things he'd never done or said. And sometimes he thought that it was Johnny's face he saw in the mirror instead of his own. And what if Kerry-

“Ahhh shit”, he groaned and splashed some water into his face before he looked up, pointing at his mirror-self. “The kiss was awesome. Fact. You like him and he likes you. Fact. And you go out there and meet him tonight because it's your day off and you deserve that date. Fact too. Good? Good. And, Nibbles, stop licking the shower water off the ground, don't think I didn't see that.”

 

---

 

“Looking good, V”, Misty said with a warm smile.

“Oh, thanks.” V put the little Buddha statue away and turned to Misty.

“On your way to Viktor?”

“Yeah. Just a routine check up. My Kiroshi's been acting a bit weird lately.”

Misty's smile widened. “He will be happy to see that you dressed up and put on some nice perfume for him. And did you bring your beard in shape...?”

“What? Oh. Nah. That's just me feeling like treating myself. You know when I don't have to crawl through dusty warehouses or something. Took the day off, not answering any fixer call or message. Because I am worth it”, V said, trying to play it low. “Haven't done it since... tsk. Feels like ages, actually. What ya think, should I spend some eddies at Jingujis or Avante today...?”

Misty said nothing and yet V just felt naked in front of her. It was like she was one of the few persons in this city that could read him like a book. That she knew his very thoughts. It was rubbish, of course. But there was something in her eyes...

“Mind if I lay out a quick Tarot for you?”, she asked instead.

“Not at all, go ahead!” V walked over to her while she pulled out a set of cards. He wasn't really into this whole Tarot thing but he knew it was very important to Misty. And there was no reason for V to deny this sweet girl something that was important to her.

With fluent yet calm movements she shuffled the deck and then put three cards in front of her.

“You flip them”, she said and V obeyed. Two black wolves with red eyes howled at a bright, yellow moon. It looked intimidating, mysterious, V thought.

“The Moon”, Misty explained and her eyes were on the card for a few seconds before she looked at V. “The card of dreams, desires... but also illusions. Listen to your intuition, V. That's what the Moon wants to tell you.”

“Alright... doesn't sound so bad, right? Next card?”

Misty nodded and pointed at the card on the right. “Death”, she said softly after V had flipped the card over.

V raised his eyebrows. “That's not good, right? I mean...”

“Relax”, Misty said, a knowing smile on her lips, “Death is not as bad as you think. In Tarot he's the symbol of new beginnings. Heavy changes. Yes, something old often has to die in us to make place for something new but overall it is actually a positive card. Besides... it's not about you.”

“What? Thought you laid out my Tarot.” V was confused and Misty chuckled a bit.

“Yes. But while the Moon was about you... this one here is about someone close to you. Someone you have an influence on. And judging from the card... your influence is strong.”

“Oh. Well.” V looked at the three cards and then pointed at the one in the middle. “So what is this one about then?”

“The story of you two. The story of Death and the Moon. A message to both of you.”

V turned the last card and Misty made a surprised sound. “What? What is it?”, V wanted to know, genuinely curious by now.

“The card, it's...” She lifted her gaze and there it was again, this incredible warm smile. Moments like this made V realize why Jackie had fallen in love with her. She was a good soul. A true soul. Which was basically a unicorn in a city like this.

“... the Lovers.”

 

---

 

V parked his bike in front of Kerry's mansion. The sweet smell of summer nights was in the air, dry grass and palm trees that ached for some rain, wild flowers blossoming in yellow. The stench from the city seemed to be far away from here. It was true – rich people were breathing better air. Literally. He held still for a moment while the chill wind of Noarth Oak tried to ruin his hairdo. It didn't succeed. Not this time! Hair wax made sure of that.

He'd been here before, one time, when he and Johnny had broken in but he couldn't recall that this place looked so... trashed.

While he walked up the drive way he noticed that the whole estate looked like it had barely survived one hell of a party. V saw one of the security bots coming closer and took in a sharp breath, tensing up – but relaxed the moment he realised that the bot didn't care about him. Which could only mean that Kerry had already confirmed V's biometrical data to their system – he was an invited guest for good. Able to drop by any time. It made V smile but then a look of confusion crossed his face while the bot walked past him, doing its duty. V couldn't help but stare at it. What the effing...

 

“Kerry, your bot is missing an arm. And is full of graffiti”, V said after he'd entered the large mansion.

“I know! And have you noticed how rad he looks with this stupid hat?”, Kerry grinned and got up from the couch to give V a proper greeting hug.

“Someone wrote the name Steve on it”, V said and couldn't help but linger a bit into this hug that held exactly the right amount of seconds too long to make it feel like more than just a friendly embrace. V liked that. He liked that very much.

“Did you do this to the bots?”, he asked.

“Yep.”

“... are you really that bored up here...?”

Kerry gave him a dull look. “Ha ha. But yeah. Sometimes, I suppose... anyway, you didn't come by to chat about my bots, or did you? Because if you did then I gotta tell you that I am reeeeaally not into tech babble. Want a drink? I got...”, he looked around. There was chaos. Everywhere. “... drinks.”

“Sure. Why not. Something light like a beer maybe?”, V answered and started to walk around a bit. He didn't get the chance to take a look at the house itself the first time, with Johnny being in control and everything. And of course the huge painting at the wall was what caught his eye immediately. “How... tasteful”, he said slightly amused.

Kerry stepped next to V and pressed a bottle of beer into his hand.

“Hey. You gotta have a large painting of your own naked ass on your wall when you've been through that many decades of rock music like I did. Also notice the symbolism, the Samurai armour thrown off my body and shit...”, Kerry explained but sounded bored while he did, like he actually didn't really care.

V turned his head and could barely contain a stupid grin.

“Uhu”, he just nodded, suppressing a laugh.

“Not gonna take art criticism from you”, Kerry said and turned away to search the coffee table for a full bottle of something he could down.

' Ah, beautiful butterfly Kerry emerging from his silky Samurai chrysalis ' , Johnny said amused and appeared for a moment in V's sight, posing the same way like Kerry did on the painting. V chuckled a bit but decided to ignore him for good and stepped into something that looked like a connecting corridor between the two main rooms. And it did look like a tunnel indeed: some random tunnel in the city, to be exact. Dark walls plastered with colourful graffiti, just like he knew it from the streets of Watson at home. He didn't expect to find something like it in here.

“And what about this? Another incarnation of your boredom?”, V asked and carefully examined the walls. He noticed a skull painting and had to think about the Tarot card Death. One chapters ends. Another begins.

“Naaah. This is really Art this time. Art with a capital A”, Kerry said, appearing next to V with an unlabelled bottle in his hand.

V turned his head and gave Kerry a sceptical look. “The mega building I am living in is full of this shit. I fail to see anything artistic in it.”

Kerry threw him a glance. “Art of the street, my dear V... it tells you about the people's hate, their fears, their passions...”

“This one here simply says Bitch . And...”, V leaned forward and narrowed his eyes, using the zoom function of his Kiroshi implants, “... is that a tiny penis?”

“Like I said. Hate and passion”, Kerry hummed. “Believe it or not but it's inspiring my music, too. Reminds me where it all comes from, where I come from. Also that style, my style, is something that evolves, lives, breaths... but it will still be mine. True to itself. Like all those different styles of graffiti this city has to offer and yet you can always recognize patterns from the same artist. I guess I forgot that lately...”, Kerry said and then flung an arm around V's shoulder while he pointed with his bottle at V's neck. “You fancy some of that too, V!”

“My neck tattoo..?”

“Yeah. Guns, roses... it's Valentino inspired, isn't it?”

“Mhm...”

“Also... are you wearing perfume?” Kerry let go of V and gave him a teasing wink.

'See? Told you, you overdid it', Johnny commented.

'Mind to shut up, Johnny?', V answered mentally and hoped he sounded annoyed. Then he let his eyes wander over the wall once more. Something caught his attention.

“Did you do these graffiti by yourself...?”, he asked Kerry, reading one particular phrase that was barely legible due to it's dark colour and because it almost looked like it's been scratched into the wall: fuck this life, I'm outta here.

“A few of the things go back to me, yeah. Some are a product of wild parties. Why?”

“Nothing. Just... trying to notice different styles, I guess. Afraid I am not good at it.” He frowned a bit and stole a glance at Kerry, concern on his face. Not that Kerry noticed that – because he was already on his way to the door, about to leave the mansion.

“Come with me. Think I need to give you a lesson on art!”, Kerry said excited.

“And care to tell me where we're going...?”, V asked and followed him outside, back into the warm summer night.

“You will see soon enough. Let's take my ride, it's just around the corner any way.”

“Alright. Can't say I am not excited to get lectured.”

 

V should've known better than to let Kerry drive up the road of North Oak. And when they finally stopped in front of a dark, noble building, he had no clue how they'd managed to survive without a scratch.

Johnny was right. Kerry was a horrible driver. Specially when something seemed to distract him that much. V just had no clue what this something was.

He got out of Kerry's custom made Aerondight. Just by looking at it he knew that this car most likely fetched a higher prize than the lifetime earning of the average Night Citizen. Multiplied by fifty-two.

“Kerry, will I regret to ask where we are and why we're here?”, V hummed with a look at the golden symbol that graced the front gate.

“Arasaka estate. Think Hanako officially owns it, but no one's ever here, as far as I noticed. There are never lights on, no parties, nothing.” Kerry shrugged. “Stop staring at it, is not what I wanted to show you.” V raised an eyebrow but decided to do Kerry the favour and followed him through some tall grass.

It was right next to the front entrance, actually. A large white painting on the otherwise black and clean wall. Two wolves and a moon – and by the way the actual moon was shining right now at the wall, it looked like its painted counterpart was glowing as well. It was what made this simple drawing breathtaking.

“Wolves only howl at night”, Kerry read what was written in large, white letters. “Can you imagine? The balls of steel someone has to have to get up here and paint this thing at Hanako Arasaka's personal house? With all the security around, the cameras, all the Militech and NCPD patrolling up here? And some gonk just came here, with a bucket of white paint and slapped this masterpiece straight on the wall. But not at some hidden spot, oh no – next to the front gate. So everyone can see it. This is street art, V. This is the voice of an unheard, unknown majority. Shit I would buy the whole building just for the painting on the wall!” Kerry noticed that V didn't say anything and just stared at the paining. “Hey. You're still with me?”

“No. I mean yes”, V blinked. “It's... odd.”

“The painting? Or the painting being here?”

“Both”, V said but didn't want to elaborate any further. But this graffiti... it looked exactly like this Tarot card. The Moon, Misty had called it. Desire. Dreams. But also illusions. V threw a quick glance at Kerry and felt a warm sensation settling in his stomach. But looking at him also made V realize that Kerry seemed to be restless, uneasy, tense. The way his eyes darted the painting, scanned the area, the way he carried himself right now... as if he was looking for a fight.

“Ya know what we should do?”, Kerry said and punched V's shoulder playfully.

'Make out?' V wanted to say but Kerry gave him no time to react to that rhetorical question because he delivered the answer right on the spot: “Break in.”

V stared at Kerry like he'd suddenly grown a second head.

“Uhm... what? You want to break into Hanako Arasaka's estate...?”, V said.

“Yeah. Stupid corpo bitch. Fuck Arasaka. Fuck all corpos of the world, actually. Let's get inside and smash something.”

“Wait wait wait. You can't be serious, right?”

“Am dead serious, V. You do that shit on a daily base, don't you? Want me to pay you or what?”

“But... why?”

“Why not?”, Kerry suddenly sounded angry, annoyed.

“Is this about Kovachek or something...?”, V asked carefully.

“Why would it? It's not his house. V come on, take that stick outta your ass. Chaos, destruction, mayhem... don't tell me someone like you doesn't witness that every day...”

“I mean yeah but...”, he started. But what? But I wanted to have an actual date with you, chill on your couch, get to know you better, talk the whole night, maybe end up naked in your bed? V sighed. “Alright. Let me see what I can do. Mayhem and destruction. I mean who doesn't like that, right?”

“Preem!”, Kerry beamed and V leaned against the Aerondight while he fired up his cyberdeck and started to scan the building.

'You know, Kerry only used to sing songs about sticking it to corpo fascists but never went through with it. And now he's suddenly all anarchistic? Damn, V, look at the influence you have on this poor rockerboy!', Johnny commented, sounding both amused and impressed. 'Can't wait for the moment you'll tell him that you used to be a corpo bitch too. Will be funny.'

'Hey. I might have been a corpo rat but never a bitch. Any idea what's going on with him?', V answered while he worked to breach the security network.

'My guess: he finally becomes uncomfortable in that golden cage he's sitting in', Johnny said and flipped off the Arasaka emblem at the gate.

V had hoped for a challenge but it only took him a couple of seconds until every security camera on the property belonged to him.

“I'm in. Emptied the cache of the cameras and cleared their memories so there's no footage of your car driving up and us standing here, staring at paintings. But to open the door I gotta...” With still glowing eyes V pushed himself off the car and stood in front of the gate, quickly climbing over. Quietly he dropped down on the other side and connected himself via direct link with the security panel. A few seconds later the gate opened up and V took a step back, bowing slightly in front of Kerry with a smirk. “Welcome to Arasaka estate, Mister Eurodyne. I hope you'll enjoy your stay!”, he said.

“Fuck! You're really good. To think I wasted your talent to blow up a truck with equipment...”, Kerry whistled impressed but got stopped by V.

“Yeah but there's security around the house. I checked five guards in the connective network. Heavily armed. So let's keep a low profile and let me handle this, okay?”

“You're not going to kill them, I hope.”

“Of course not. Just... stay a bit back until I come and get you, alright?”

 

 

Kerry took cover behind a large rock and watched how V vanished into the shadows. He was excited. What they were doing right now was so foolish, irresponsible and senseless – and awesome. It had the same taste like bombing up a truck or a chase with the police through the city. Or playing in a small club, in front of devoted fans, spending all hard earned money on a new guitar instead of something to eat. Or feeling the blood on his fingers from shredding strings non stop while serving the rich on a cruise ship. And writing songs that meant something. Songs that had a soul. Kerry missed that. He just didn't know how to get it back. He knew he wouldn't want to trade his life with his younger self – standing in Johnny's shadow again, eat the dirt out of card boxes, sleep in a car instead of a bed. Having tons of eddies wasn't so bad. He could do whatever he wanted, go where ever he wanted. Extend his life for another fifty years while still looking young.

And yet all that money couldn't sell him out of this dreadful void he'd felt inside, this feeling of being alone.

Utterly and completely alone.

And then, when he thought he'd almost forgotten him, Johnny had once again crashed into his life with the force of a bloody car accident. And along came V.

A man who would crack Arasaka's security network and take out the guards of Hanako's estate just because he asked him to. And more than that: V was shaking things up. Things that had slept deep inside of him but now they aimed for the surface. And boy did it create a chaos inside of him.

Kerry pondered a moment over this feeling and what it actually meant. “Well... I'm fucked”, he muttered to himself – but with a smile on his face.

 

It didn't take long until V showed up again, telling Kerry that he could tag along now. They passed one of the security guards, lying on the ground, with a foamy mouth and glassy eyes. But he was breathing – just like V had promised.

“Fuck. The hell did you do to them?”, Kerry asked.

“Complete system reset. They are out for at least an hour and once they wake up they'll need a day to recover. And probably won't remember the whole last week.”

Kerry's eyes widened a bit. “You're one of those netrunner guys the NCPD warns the public about, aren't ya. The reason people shouldn't step into Pacifica.”

“Pacifica? Because of the Voodoo Boys?”, V scoffed. “Their cyberdecks are bad and they should feel bad.” That grin on V's face was kinda worrying, Kerry thought, but on the other hand it also turned him on. Weird enough. He felt his adrenaline spiking up once they actually entered the house.

“Fuck, V, look at this shit. You can eat from the floor. This looks so clean, not even a cockroach would fart here”, Kerry said and walked around, taking step into the kitchen.

V laughed. “Some people have a sense of tidiness, I know that's a mystery to you.”

“Come on, no one could live here like that. Bet she shows up once a year to fuck some cab driver and that's it. I mean, take a look at the fridge. A bottle of sparkling wine... and nothing else. Not even a fuckin' apple.” Kerry took out the bottle, read the label – and just dropped it.

“How many eddies did you just crash on the floor?”, V asked.

“The fuck I care.”

“Okay but what ya actually wanna do in here? Steal some shit, get into her terminal and see if we find some dirt on her or simply trash her windows, or...”

Kerry shook his head. “You're thinking too small, V. Why would I want dirt on Hanako Arasaka? And why would I steal something when I can buy literally anything I want? No. Let's send a message of chaos”, he started to explain with eagerness in his voice. “Ya know, if you steal something, then they'll just replace it. They don't care about money. Trust me, I know what I'm talking about. Let's rather show the corpo shit of the world that they are not safe in their high security fortresses. That it's not about money or wanting their shit. Telling them: someone out there is watching you. Make them feel uncomfortable. If they think we're just ordinary burglars, then we won't achieve that. Think about it: the thought that someone broke into your home but nothing is missing – isn't that scarier? Because you have no clue what the fuck they wanted here?”

V listened attentively. “So what do you propose?”

Kerry rolled his eyes. “Get creative, V. Art lesson. Remember?” He looked around and noticed an expensive radio, grabbed it and carried it over into the kitchen, V on his heels. “Fridge is empty anyway”, he said and simply shoved the radio into said fridge.

V scratched his beard in mild confusion. “That was... extremely random.”

“Ex-act-ly!”, Kerry pointed out.

V hummed and looked around in the living room. A lot of large and expressionless paintings on the walls, probably some super awesome artist he never heard about. V gave Kerry a questioning look, raising one eyebrow but then a smirk formed on his face. Eagerly he started to search the cupboards for a thick pen, found one – a black marker - and started to scribble on the paintings.

“Good one!”, Kerry praised him and V stretched his back proudly, “... but what's this supposed to be?”

“That's... the moon. Like the one outside...? On the wall?”

“That's not a moon. That's a wheel of cheese.”

“It's not.”

“A very ugly wheel of cheese.”

“You have no clue about art!”

Kerry grinned widely and snatched the marker out of V's hand to scribble something on one of the paintings. V stood next to him to see what Kerry was up to – but then just groaned when he noticed what it was. “Gonk”, V just said, shaking his head, a thin smirk on his face.

“Can't go wrong with a dick”, Kerry said with innocent voice. “But this doesn't feel like enough...”, he mumbled.

V raised his eyebrows. “Want to set the house on fire or...”

Kerry shook his head and looked around. His eyes fell on a large, noble and probably pretty expensive couch.

“I think I just got a nice idea.”

 

Carrying the couch out of the house and towards the pool was no problem when one of the two used some high tech Gorilla arms – V could've probably carried the couch alone if he'd wanted to. But it would turn out that throwing it into the pool was much more difficult when one of the two decided to be a gonk.

“Alright, on three, Ker. You ready?”

Kerry nodded.

“One... two...”

Kerry let go of the couch. And with wide eyes V and the couch were both flying into the pool, filling the quiet night with a loud splash. Kerry didn't care that he got covered in water, too. Seeing V's dumb face at this moment, this cool and collected merc – priceless.

“... three”, V stated flatly after he broke through the surface, swimming in the middle of the pool.

“How's the water, V?”, Kerry asked, wiping a tear out of his eye, still laughing.

“Actually... quite nice. Think they heat the pool.”

“Ahh... fuck it.” Kerry took off his boots and jumped into the pool. For a second or two he'd thought to get rid of his clothes aswell but maybe V would've taken that as an invitation and if Kerry was honest with himself: he wasn't sure he would want that. It was absurd. Young Kerry would probably curse at old Kerry for such a thought. He knew that he wanted V to heal the holes in his heart and head but he wasn't sure if V was up for it, too. After all, Kerry was an expert in putting trust into someone too fast, just to be disappointed. Again.

But one thing he knew: the water was indeed nicely warm. Wet leather pants on skin felt shitty though. He swam towards the glass edge of the pool that offered one hell of a view over Night City.

“Damn must be sweet to be that rich”, V muttered next to him.

“Guess it is...”, Kerry sighed. Could he just... not mention eddies for five minutes...

While Kerry took in the gorgeous neon lights below, he felt V's gaze on him. Slowly he turned his head. When they had met for the first time, Kerry had disliked those eyes of V. Those cold implants. He wondered why anyone would even want that. He could've picked any gorgeous colour but went with plain, boring white. But now he noticed something in those eyes, the way they reflected the lights of the city he loved and hated so much and he could only think about how fucking beautiful it was. And yet he felt how this cursed insecurity just crawled towards the surface, made itself shown on his face. He hated it. There was no reason to feel so fucking fragile right now. They'd kissed already – and it was a damn good kiss, Kerry had to admit – and V did not ghost him after that, had agreed on a second date even.

There was no reason to be afraid.

 

Kerry didn't back off when V leaned in to claim a kiss. And he didn't back off when he felt V's hand sliding under the wet tank top that stuck to his body. Felt how his fingers traced lines on his stomach like they were following a secret path. It was a gentle touch and a gentle kiss and Kerry allowed himself to fall into it, while he grabbed hold of the edge of the pool with one hand and let his other wander over V's neck and into his wet, short hair. It shouldn't come as a surprise that V got bold and the hand that explored the golden chrome and soft skin on Kerry's torso decided to wander lower and slid into his pants.

"V...", Kerry let out with a heavy and shuttered breath, breaking the kiss and turning his head away.

Fuck. His body wanted it. It would be a lie to say otherwise. Part of him wanted to get fucked by V and wanted to fuck him, on Hanako Arasaka's bed, why the hell not. And then spill some more of that sparkling wine, covering their naked bodies with it, jump into the pool again, fuck once more.

But his head...

This chaos, that swirling vortex of emotions in his stupid head...

V seemed to feel it.

His hand slid out of Kerry's pants and he awkwardly glanced to the side for a moment before he threw a charming smile at Kerry.

“Let's get out of here before another guard shows up that just went to town to get burgers for everyone or some shit.”

 

---

 

It was like coming down from a bloody trip. Adrenaline could be one hell of a drug, Kerry knew that. His wet clothes started to get cold and felt ugly on his body and he just wanted to get inside his house, take a nice, hot shower, drop to bed – and maybe touch himself while thinking about that moment in the pool.

“Hey uhm... thanks. For... you know”, Kerry said and used one of his bots – Steve – as a pillar to lean against while he watched how V started the engine of his bike.

“No problem. I had fun tonight! Give me a call when you sorted through the stuff in your head. Or when you wanna blow up Militech or something. Whatever it is, I'm in”, V said with a smile on his face. Surprisingly he didn't seem to be mad that he wasn't invited to come in for the infamous coffee.

“You bet your ass I will”, Kerry said, smiling as well.

“Hmm. Think you got what you wanted, Ker?”, V suddenly asked in a more serious tone and it made Kerry hesitate to give him an answer right in the spot.

Well. Did he? He'd thought that causing some havoc would've made him feel better about... everything. And yeah, he'd actually enjoyed it. Yet...

“I don't know. Guess it should've been Kovachek's house to truly make me feel better... that bastard still needs to pay for the shit he'd pulled. Actually I think our little adventure just gave me some inspiration how to fuck with him. But at least I don't feel like walking in circles anymore... just not sure that a fuckin' labyrinth is any better.”

V was quiet for a few seconds “Well guess you can't always get what you want...”, the smile on his face got warmer and gained something cheeky, “... but you can get me.”

And with that he drove off into the night, leaving behind a somewhat perplexed, somewhat turned on but definitely happier-than-the-day-before version of Kerry.

And when Kerry went back inside, he was suddenly fine with being alone in the house – because for once he didn't feel lonely. And he hummed a melody that started to form in his mind. Something fresh. Something raw.

Something with a new soul.

 

 

 

 

 

Well you can't get what you want
But you can get me
So let's set out to sea, love
'Cause you are my medicine
When you're close to me

 

When you're close to me.

 

 

GorillaZ – On Melancholy Hill

 

 

 

 

 

 

Notes:

Like I said, the inspiration was indeed coming from in game events: because I broke into Arasaka estate. Really nice pool there.
Also in case you're curious:
https://ibb.co/KXss7dW - here is a picture of the wall graffiti at Arasaka estate.
https://ibb.co/LRYKLjq - this is the wall V is looking at in Kerry's house. You can see the graffiti that are mentioned in the fic basically on the right side.
https://ibb.co/8X5B8mD - and have a good look at poor Steve.

Chapter 14: Nur Zu Besuch

Summary:

Memories.

Notes:

This was done as part of a request given to me by Maxkimy, who asked me to write something set for the mood of a certain Billie Eilish song called ' when the party's over'. It gave me the opportunity to tackle on a topic I wanted to write about since a while now but never really knew how.
Now I did.
Set 7-8 months after the end (The Sun ending).
The title, "Nur Zu Besuch", refers to a German song. It means "only to visit".

“This city doesn't forgive, it eats people alive. But you – well, you survived.” - V

 

 

Kerry stared into the glass of vodka in his hand while what's-his-name nibbled on his neck and made a strange humming noise while at it, one that Kerry disliked. Was a major turn off but he couldn't even say why. Maybe because he was slowly coming down. Yeah the party had been nice and all but now the pills were fading off and the high got replaced by a low.

Now Kerry didn't even want to be in the same Del with who-cares-about-his-name. He actually rather wanted to be alone. Kerry turned his head to look out of the window and to avoid to give fuck-boy the stupid idea to actually press a kiss on his lips. A large megabuilding managed to catch his attention.

“Yo, Del. Are we in Little China right now? Over Ellison Street?”

“Affirmative, Mr. Eurodyne,” the AI answered.

Kerry's heart skipped an anxious beat.

“Change of plans, Del. Let me out at the penthouse.”

“Usual spot, Mr. Eurodyne?”

“Yes, where the fuck else.”

“Uhm... Kerry? What change of plans? I thought we're heading to your place...?” Someone next to Kerry made himself heard, someone who finally stopped slobbering wet kisses on Kerry's neck.

“Yeah, sorry choomba. Del, make sure you bring this fine gentleman home, will ya?”

“But...,” fuck-boy protested and Kerry threw him a hard glance. On second thought: what the hell was he even thinking to consider for a damn second to bring that guy home. Yeah, sure, a quick fuck would've been nice but... he used to have a better taste than this! But taking a good look at him, Kerry remembered: ah yeah, the green hair. Maybe it could've fooled him when seeing it from above while receiving a blow job or while taking him from behind... but of course that had been the stupid idea of drugged-and-drunk-Kerry. Sobering-up-Kerry had other plans now. And found that he actually wasn't in the mood for a blowjob or a fuck. Not even a quick one.

 

---

 

Kerry entered the dark apartment. He still paid the rent for the penthouse. Money didn't matter to him anyway but the thought that someone else would fill these rooms with life again, clean it up, throw out the stuff, step where V used to step, sit where he used to sit... that thought alone was unbearable.

With a deep and shuttering breath he took a step into the room, through the door over the balcony.

An almost haunting yet peaceful silence filled the place. Like a graveyard at night.

Everything was frozen in time. A still image of the past. Bathed in gorgeous neon lights.

Only a thin layer of dust broke the impression and Kerry let his finger run over the kitchen counter, leaving a dark line. Two empty glasses stood next to a bottle of wine that waited to be opened, for an occasion that would never come. Kerry hopped and sat on the counter and looked around, still not bothering to switch on the lights.

 

“Wait wait wait. You want to cook? You can cook? I saw you doing a lot of things but cooking wasn't one of them.” V's stupid face was priceless. Kerry loved it to catch Mister I-am-such-a-cool-netrunner off guard.

“Surprised?” Kerry asked, feeling all smug and satisfied with himself while he hoped that the coffee machine understood that it should brew him a simple coffee without shitty extras.

“Yeah. Actually I am,” V said honestly.

“Learned to cook from my mom when I was a kid. Said no woman would want a man who can't cook for himself.”

V laughed. It was such a nice sight. Kerry loved it. Happened too rarely. “Bet that turned out well for you,” V said.

“Never was good at it, though. Later, when I returned to the Philippines, after parting ways with Samurai... I picked it up again. Figured it's good for the soul. These days... neglected it like I neglected so many parts of myself. But hey... some soul food might do you good now. Might do us good. What ya say?” Kerry took the cup, sipped a bit of coffee, his eyes on V. Goddamn handsome fucker. But Kerry didn't fail to notice the sickness. V looked tired. So tired. It was written all over his face and no matter how hard V tried to hide it, Kerry would notice it. But tonight he didn't want to think about the sickness. Didn't want to think about the time they had left or what would happen in the future. Wanted to be in the present. Wanted to cook for said handsome fucker. Fish kinilaw would be nice. Something from home. Kerry doubted that he would ever get the chance to drag V to the Philippines, he was just too fucking busy with his stupid job at being the king of the Afterlife. But Kerry still wanted to share a bit of home with him.

Might do him good.

Might to both of them good.

Kerry got pulled back into the here-and-now. His gaze dropped and he hopped off the kitchen counter. He fondly remembered this night. Heck, the quickie right here, on the very same kitchen counter, was something he would probably never forget...

“Damn...”, he mumbled and let a hand run over his face, through his hair before he walked over to the coffee machine. “Are you still working...?” he mumbled and pressed a button. The coffee machine made a friendly noise and a small light lit up. Kerry placed a cup under it. “No sugar. No milk. No extras. Just hot, black coffee, got that?”

 

A few moments later the apartment was still dark and still wrapped in reverent silence but now it smelled like fresh coffee in here. Kerry walked around and dropped down on the couch. The view through these windows was nice. Not as awesome as the view from his residence up at North Oak, but still nice. Was more like being close to the pulsing heart of the city itself and not watching it from afar, though, and that was something Kerry liked.

Like being on the roof of the Dark Matter.

 

“Think you can drive the shadows away?”

“I can even protect you from yourself.”

“Is he...”

V didn't even let him finish this sentence. His hands were sliding against Kerry's neck, up into his hair, pulling him into a soft kiss. Kerry's brain went flat. He instantly forgot what he'd even wanted to say.

Until V broke the kiss. But he was still so close, Kerry could feel V's breath on his lips. Ah. Yeah. Johnny.

“Does it matter...?” V asked and Kerry liked how V's voice sounded.

It didn't matter. Fuck, nothing mattered, actually. All the anxiety. The panic attacks. Sitting alone in the darkness. For hours. Holding a gun at his head under the shower. The fucking shadows and this feeling of slowly drowning in the mud. And Johnny.

“Nah,” Kerry heard himself say, “Not anymore.”

And it was the truth. Kerry knew that the moment he said it and the moment he felt V's lips on his own a second time.

 

“Fuck...”, Kerry mumbled and buried his face in his hands for a couple of seconds, until he felt like he could open his eyes again. He turned away from the windows, seeing the lights of the city outside wasn't making things any better. His gaze fell on a guitar that sat in the corner of the couch. Kerry pulled it towards him and hit the strings for a second or two and a small, sad smile wandered over his face for a moment. It was a green Lyridon Chrome. Not really a good guitar. Kerry himself would never play something like this. But a nice beginner's model for sure.

 

It was Kerry's favourite time of the day, the golden hour in the evening when a setting sun filled the whole room with warm light. And while V sang and played, Kerry watched his hands, his fingers and finally V's face. The light that came through the windows gave the guitar an almost emerald shimmer but Kerry was even more drawn to that golden light reflecting in V's eyes. Like an inner flame, setting those cold, white Kiroshi implants on fire. A warmth that seemed to spread over Kerry, too. And he slowly started to hum with him, smilingly tapping his foot to the rhythm.

 

Kerry felt a knot forming in his stomach. It made breathing harder and singing too but he still started to hit some basic strum pattern with alternate bass picking.

“Is this all that there is even after, years of trial and error, learning how to love, be loved and destroyed...”, Kerry sang but his voice lacked the usual power and strength, felt frail, weak. “Let's board up the bedroom win-windows, fire off Roman candles, w-watch all the ghosts in our... our clothes... fuck!” Kerry threw the guitar through the room. It crashed against a table and made the unhappy sound of snapping strings.

Kerry bit his trembling lip and blinked a few times.

“This was a bad idea... such a fucking bad idea... should've taken that choom home and fucked his and my brains out... dammit.”

He noticed how his voice came out like a whimper and decided that monologues were off the table now.

Also it felt like the knot in his stomach had turned into a hairy animal that wanted out.

Now.

 

Kerry rushed into the bathroom, prepared to spill his guts into the toilet but even though the urge was there, nothing happened. He leaned on the sink, breathing heavily. Also something was up with his vision. Stupid implants. Why again did he pay so much money for shitty chrome...?

He lifted his head and activated the mirror to check what the fuck was wrong with his eyes and the moment he saw his face, he knew it.

Kerry hastily wiped his eyes and felt something wet on his hands. He looked around for some distraction. Bathroom was a bad place for this. Because bathroom was empty and contained the shower where they used to have great shower sex. He noticed a big bottle of pills on the sink and hesitated. He took the bottle into his hands, his face distorted in sorrow.

 

“V? Are you getting done now? We're already late!” Kerry yelled through the apartment. He frowned when he got no answer.

“Yo! V!”

Nothing.

Kerry walked up to the bathroom, maybe V didn't hear him under the shower, but before he could open the door, he heard a thump, like something heavy just fell to the ground. A cold wave washed over Kerry and he stormed into the room.

“Fuck, V!” he cried out, panic rising inside of him and he let himself drop down on his knees, next to V's lifeless body.

“What the... don't do this to me now, V, come one!” He already prepared to call Trauma Team, Viktor and every ripper doc of the Afterlife simultaneously – when V slowly started to move his head in Kerry's lap.

“Hmmmm...”, V hummed tired, opening his eyes. He was clearly disoriented for a moment.

“Don't fucking do this again, fucker!”, Kerry yelled, his voice drenched with angst.

“Just... a small moment of weakness... probably showered... too hot... can you... give me my pills...” V mumbled with cracked voice.

Kerry frantically looked around, saw the bottle, grabbed it and dumped a handful of pills into V's mouth.

With Kerry's help, V slowly got up but decided to rather sit on the floor for the time being. Kerry on the other hand couldn't sit or stand still and walked tiny and nervous circles.

“It's getting worse, isn't it? Fuck, it's getting worse. You almost flatlined under the shower! Fuck. We go see Viktor. Now. Or even better Trauma Team. Shit! Will dial for a Del right now-”

“Ker.”

V's voice was so soft and calm. Kerry took in a breath and held it, not sure how to react.

“I am alright. I swear. Feeling already better. See?” V tried it with a smile but Kerry couldn't be fooled and frowned. Then he helped V up on his legs and forced him to look into the mirror where he would see a pale, gaunt face.

“Alright? You call this alright...? You look like a fucking crack head, dying on the streets of Watson!”

V grimaced a bit. “Yeah, had better days, sure...”

“I... I don't know if I can do this any longer,” Kerry let out, defeated, despaired.

“What?” V turned towards him, leaning against the sink so not to break down again.

“I am watching you falling apart. Every single fucking day I have to watch how life literally leaves your body, V.”

“Sorry but are you breaking up with me right now?” V frowned.

“I-” Kerry escaped his gaze.

“You promised, Kerry. You promised you would be there. You fucking promised it to me,” V said with slightly trembling yet brutally sharp voice. “I am... I am trying to hold up here, alright? I am not ready to go yet. But it's fucking hard to get out of bed every morning. Shit, I lost sight in my left eye a week ago. Had Vik do some cyberfixing so I can still see with it. Almost feel like I start to replace my whole fucking body with implants but can't replace my brain, can I?” He tipped his head. “Ya think I have fun having these cluster headaches or holes in my memory, big enough to shove a Militech mech through? But I keep fighting. And I'm still standing. Or am I not?”

Kerry decided to be brave enough to look back at V. Where the hell did that man take the strength to talk like this and to radiate vigor like the embodiment of life?

“Yeah... you are...”, Kerry slowly nodded.

“Exactly. I am. According to Viktor I should've flatflined a fucking month ago. But I am still here.”

“Yeah. You are.” Kerry smiled a sad smile. “Sorry, V. Guess I panicked more than I should there for a moment. Care to forgive an old man?” Kerry reached out and cupped V's face, stroking those dry and pale lips gently.

“Think I will”, V smiled.

 

A week later V was dead.

 

Kerry found himself in the bed, his face buried in the pillows. He wasn't even sure if he was sobbing or not, felt like his body and his mind were detached.

After what felt like eternity, he turned on his back and spread his arms. One of his hands felt some cloth, something that wasn't a bed sheet. He must've missed it in the darkness of the apartment but now that he pulled it in front of his face, he knew what it was.

Kerry sat up, held still for a moment, even held his breath. Like he was afraid to dive deeper into his memories. But how much deeper could he fall...

So he breathed out a shuttered sigh and pulled the red blazer into his arms, hugged the piece tightly, like it was a human being. He buried his face deep into the cloth, eyes closed and took a deep breath.

 

“V what's up with you and your stupid blazers and suit jackets all the time? You look like a fuckin' corpo fascista,” Kerry said and gauged the formerly naked V who'd just slipped into his netrunner suit, pants and a red Jinguji jacket.

“I like the style. Don't ya think I look all posh and preem in them?”

“Eh. You don't want an answer to that.”

“Oh like you own style, rockerboy. Aren't tight leather pants a bit last century...?”

“Never out of fashion, choom.”

V sat down on the edge of the bed and gave Kerry a kiss.

“Need to delta.”

“Ya know the good thing about your choice of clothes...?” Kerry hummed.

V shook his head.

“I am even more keen to get you out of them.” A smug smirk crossed Kerry's face, proud that he'd already made a kinky joke only ten minutes after waking up.

V grinned.

“I will hold you to that tonight.”

“Promises, promises...!” Kerry yelled after him and crossed his arms behind his head, leaning back into the pillows with a satisfied sigh.

 

The red jacket still held V's scent. Kerry wanted to drown in it. Fall asleep. Have pleasant dreams. And not wake up again.

“You can't just... just crash into my life like a hurricane and then leave again in the same fucking manner...” Kerry sobbed quietly into the blazer. He didn't bother to hide it anymore. Tears were drenching the cloth. He didn't care. He wanted him back. He wanted him back so badly.

So fucking badly.

But no money, no fame, no rich corpo asshole, no secret bio chip, no miracle of the modern tech world, nothing in this whole fucking world would bring V back to him.

He would never hold him in his arms

ever

again.

 

 

 

 

 

Call me friend but keep me closer (call me back)

And I'll call you when the party's over

Quiet when I'm comin' home and I'm on my own

And I could lie, say I like it like that, like it like that

Yeah, I could lie, say I like it like that, like it like that

But nothin' is better sometimes

Once we've both said our goodbyes

 

Billie Eilish - When The Party Is Over

 

 

 

 

 

One year later.

 

 

The sun was shining. Kerry lit a cigarette and took off his sunglasses. He leaned against the dark wall in the columbarium, watching the grey smoke wandering from his mouth toward the sky.

“The kids are doing alright. Will go on vacation with them in a couple of months, after the tour.”

He took in a deep drag. Blew out the smoke. Was silent for a while.

“Really looking forward to it. Gonna go hit the islands, get home, ya know? But tour first. Gonna be nova, I tell ya. Unplugged, just me and my guitar in a couple of exclusive bars all over Europe. Real luxury shit. Only between fifty and sixty tickets per concert. Whole shit was sold out in a damn second. Man, this is going to be amazing...! Wanted to do something like that for a while now. No clue why I never did.”

Again silence. Only the very quiet sound of a smoldering cigarette and the cars on the road in the distance. And was that a bird he heard...? Probably not.

“Wish you could come with me, man. Would've been really preem. Been telling the kids about ya, think they would've liked you.”

Kerry pushed himself off the wall and turned around, patting the plate with V's name with a sad smile.

“Gotta delta. Just wanted to pay you a visit before I fly to Paris tomorrow.” His voice got quiet and soft. Words only meant for one person.

“Love ya, V. Always have. Always will.”

 

And as Kerry walked back to his car, he had a smile and a song on his lips. “... and a thing of beauty... will never fade away...”

 

Notes:

I know this reads a little bit like the end to this whole one shot collection. And while it's not, it does mean a break for now. At the moment I have no good ideas for upcoming one shots and want to focus on two other projects (my BG3 fic and a Cyberpunk multichapter story with three V's - stay tuned).
That doesn't mean I won't write any one shots about Kerry and V anymore! The DLCs will come and I am sure they will hit me with ideas and I am still open to prompts, requests - and to my own brain, hitting me randomly with one shot ideas at night.
You never know what might happen.
But I want to take the chance here to thank all of your for reading, leaving Kudo's, reviews, bookmarks... love everyone of you!

Chapter 15: Vincent, Naked And (Not) Afraid

Summary:

About a car ride.

Notes:

Something short and stupid that just hit me...
Set right (and I mean right) after Boat Drinks.
And yep, I've hidden some easter eggs again...

“Let's get outta here before the wind flips and we get flooded by that stench. Need a ride?” Kerry asked and got up.

“Course I do,” V answered and noticed how something purple washed ashore.

He picked it up.

Great. His shorts were the only thing that'd survived the explosion! Well, better than nothing.

He looked up, the sad piece of drenched cloth in his hand and watched how the Seamurai slowly sank to the bottom of the the sea and with it his favourite shirt and the rest of his stuff. He was just glad that he didn't bring his guns along.

With a sigh and a disgusted “urrg”, V slipped into the wet shorts and followed Kerry through the sand and up to the street.

 

“You're staring at my ass, don't you,” Kerry said and opened the trunk of his car.

“Yes, I do,” V hummed proudly and threw a glance over Kerry's shoulder just to blink in surprise. “You got spare clothes in there?”

Kerry slipped into a fresh (and dry!) pair of tight underpants and V wondered where the hell Kerry packed all of this but surprisingly his mind wasn't with Kerry's dick for long and rather started to envy him for dry underwear.

There was at least one thing V was certain about now, though: those nudes of Kerry, leaked on the net a couple of days ago? Definitely fake. There were some teeny tiny anatomical differences. Not that V had searched for the leaks, of course not. He'd stumbled upon them while doing important netrunner stuff in the deep net.

Of course.

Kerry threw a white tank top over and got into some black pants that went with the same kind of boots he was always wearing. Then he gave V a nod to take the passenger seat.

Not a moment later he had the mixed blessing of sitting with a wet ass in wet shorts on real leather.

“Nice ride,” he said.

“I hope he can drive it,” Johnny commented from the back seat where he was lurking around like he owned the car.

“Had her custom made,” Kerry said. “Let's see when I will get bored with her...”

And with these words he put the pedal to the metal and V got pressed into his seat for a second.

“I know you're suicidal on your missions and I can respect that but if I have to drag your ass out of a car wreck because you let Kerry drive, I am going to find a way to murder you.”

V decided to ignore Johnny and rather focus on trying to appear extremely cool and relaxed in his wet pants and with his heart rate going twice as fast right now.

“So,” Kerry started and actually managed to find a kind of decent tempo (but was still driving in the middle of the road), “shall I drop you off at home or do you maybe wanna hit it off at my place, drink a coffee or somethin'...?”

V raised one eyebrow and threw Kerry a glance and a smirk.

Coffee, hu?

“Would love to, believe me. But got jobs to do.”

“Sure, sure,” Kerry said and didn't even sound disappointed. “Home it is then?”

Crap.

Kerry didn't know where V lived. And V wasn't sure he wanted Kerry to know. That man just sunk a billion eddie yacht and drove an Aerondight that was probably twice as expensive as the common Reyfield – and those already fetched a higher price than the lifetime earnings of the average Night Citizen. Times fifty.

V couldn't even afford an apartment with kitchen. Well, not yet at least. He knew that he wanted one of those luxury penthouse apartments that he could see from his window...

“Uh... no need. Better you just drop me off somewhere in the city. Redwood market or something that's on the way so you don't need to do a detour. Got a few gigs in the area.”

Kerry raised his eyebrows and glanced at V who didn't fail to notice how Kerry's gaze dropped to V's crotch for a second or two before he focused back on the road.

“Hm. You wanna do gigs. Dressed like this,” Kerry said amused.

“Well you could've gotten me a set of spare clothes too! Besides... why did you even have them in your trunk? Did you plan to get naked today?” V teased.

“Maybe I had hoped to,” Kerry hummed with a cheeky smirk and V just grinned like a happy gonk, “but I knew I would get wet.”

“Could've warned me.”

“Would've spoiled the surprise.”

“I wore my favourite shirt, my lucky shirt and that's now at the bottom of the sea.”

“You have something like a lucky shirt?” Kerry asked with one raised eyebrow and drove up to the highway.

“Had. But yeah,” V said and looked out of the window. The sun was almost gone now and night broke over the city. “I bought it after my first job as a merc. Did the gig with my best friend, Jackie. He picked me up when I was at my lowest point, got me a job and a purpose and a place to live, too. Boy had a heart of gold. He died not so long ago.”

“Fuck. Am sorry, V.”

“Hm. Nothing to be sorry about.” V turned his head with a crooked smile on his face. “After all it still got me lucky one last time, didn't it?”

“That was cheesy as fuck. But I let it pass because you're hot.”

V couldn't help it but his smirk turned into another stupid grin again. He felt high on happiness and endorphins and didn't even care that his ass was wet and cold now. V decided to let Kerry drive and just enjoyed the view – to both sides.

After a couple of minutes he noticed something.

The silence. It wasn't awkward.

Sure, the radio was quietly playing some songs but V noticed that he was able to share silence with Kerry without feeling uncomfortable. Which was crazy, considering what they'd just done: fucked on a burning yacht. And now that they were coming down from this mutual trip, V would've guessed that sitting together in a car, riding back to town, would've maybe felt odd but... it actually felt absolutely fucking awesome.

V used the time to take a good look at Kerry. His fingers on the wheel tapped slightly to the song in the radio, so V gave it a moment to listen.

“Love that song,” he said and turned up the volume.

“Fingers and The Outlaws. They played as supporting act couple o' years ago on one of my tours.”

“The Second Conflict Tour?”

“Yeah. Good boys. Good to hear them being played in the radio, too. They deserve it, they got what it takes, the Three A's.”

“Enlighten a poor non-musician. What are the Three A's?”

Kerry lifted a hand from the wheel to hold up three fingers and V could already hear Johnny complaining again.

“Music always gets hammered down to the Three A's. Axe, Attitude and Audience,” Kerry explained with a sudden rather serious tone.

“That some famous quote from the rulebook for rockerboys?” V asked slightly amused. “Who said that?”

“Me.”

Kerry left the highway again but the way he ignored the traffic was kind of worrying. “Ah I know what this must sound like to you,” he then sighed. “I literally sit with my ass in a million eddie ride and wanna complain about how corpos fucked up the world, raped the land, killed the people and lied into our faces.”

“I mean... there are different versions of fighting. You had an axe and the attitude. And you got yourself the audience. Comes with money, so what. Johnny would probably burn those eddies but no one's gonna care about such actions any more.”

“Watch your mouth, kid,” Johnny threw in only to be ignored by V again.

”You know... yesterday I was down in Watson and there was this guy, little punk I guess, who hit some chords on a rusty old guitar. Wanna know what he played? User Friendly,” V said with emphasis.

Kerry took his eyes from the road for a second to give V a surprised look.

“People hear what you're saying, Ker,” V continued and noticed how a warm smile showed up on Kerry's face.

“You're fucking cute, V.”

“So I've been told,” V grinned and crossed his hands behind his head, leaning into the damn nice and soft cushions of the car seat.

 

Kerry brought the car to a stop with squeezing wheels, parking half way on the pavement.

“Redwood market. Sure I shouldn't drive you home?” Kerry asked.

“No, no, this is fine. Thanks for dropping me off,” V said and leaned in to give Kerry a tight hug. “Call me, alright?”

“You can bet your ass I will,” Kerry smiled.

V was about to leave the car when Kerry held him back for one more moment.

“And V? Thanks. For staying. And everything. Eh... shit, you know what I mean. And hey, ehm...” Suddenly he pulled the tank top over his head and handed it over to V. “... sorry for getting your lucky shirt destroyed. Here's a new one.”

 

And there he was. Standing at Redwood market in nothing but a white tank top that held one wonderful scent and his damp underwear. And because his underwear was damp, it was clinching nicely to his skin, leaving not much left to the fantasy.

Well.

This was Night City.

Who cared.

V looked for a metro station that could bring him back to China Town, when he noticed a small stand. An old woman was selling some junk, mostly some old tech but she also had a few boxes with used records. Something caught V's eye.

“How much for this?” he asked and held up the record of Second Conflict.

The old lady gauged him from tip to toe and V did feel a little bit uncomfortable when she was staring for a second too long at his crotch.

“Is free since you decided to brighten up my day, hot stuff,” she said.

V looked at the record. He should get it signed.

Yes, he was happy. He was so damn happy that he didn't care that he was more or less naked, cold and looked like your common Watson hobo.

With the record under his arm and a song on his lips he made his way home.

“In a user-friendly world, you don't have to think...”

Chapter 16: Smile With The Rising Sun

Summary:

About worries and a fight and the end to it all.

Notes:

This one shot is written because of a request by Nat_Why sooooo...
you know who to blame.

I tried a different style of writing here, one where I thought it would fit the tone of this short one shot. I tried something new so I am not sure if I really succeeded with the experiment.

Warning: descriptive MCD.

“And even after knowing how things will end...

… Our hearts still hope for that one happy ending.”

 

---

 

Nibbles watched the first lonely snow flake of this winter. His curious cat eyes followed as it slowly made its way towards the ground. Nibbles tried to catch it. Little paws hit glass. Confusing stuff. He licked his paw, showing the snow flake that he didn't care and didn't really wanted to catch it, actually. After all, the snow flake didn't need to know about the failed hunting attempt.

An old song played in the radio, filling the cold apartment with a sweet sound.“Singin', don't worry, about a thing. 'Cause every little thing, gonna be all right...”

Nibbles hopped down from the table and walked over to the open kitchen to inspect his bowl. Frustratingly it was still empty. This isn't right! he meowed in demand. The feeders were very late today. Why was the bowl still empty?

 

Fuck. That was all that V's brain could come up with right now, through the stinging pain in his head, his chest and his stomach. His vision wasn't blurry. It was simply not there. He'd always expected a literal black out but it was more like grey noise and a few lights. Hundreds of errors popped up. Organ failure. Cyberware malfunction. V lacked the nerve right now to keep track of them. He tried to restore his vision first but rebooting the Kiroshi implants didn't help, the problem was not the hardware, it was the fuckin' software.

His brain.

V turned on his back, maybe breathing would be easier that way. Turned out: it wasn't. He just wished he knew if his lungs were the problem or his heart. Well fuck – it was probably his heart. He could hear the water of his pool, moved by the harsh, cold winter wind and the static noise of something between his ears. Fuck! Why was the Del already gone? Why the fuck was Kerry out tonight? And why the fuck was his body giving up, right now, right here?

V failed to accept it. He would not go down here. Not like this. The past weeks had been hell. Breaking down in the bath room. Randomly losing consciousness. Coughing up blood had been a pasttime activity anyway but the blood had never been this dark and clumped. So this was most likely just another attack. Right?

Finding out that his Gorilla arms still seemed to work, V punched himself on the chest. Again. And again. Gave his heart a jump start until he could feel the beat again, at least. Unsteady and heavy in his chest. Then he dug around in his pockets and pulled out a MaxDoc Mk.3. Strong shit. It gave him the adrenaline kick he needed, to find the strength to get up. He had to get into the house and he had to get into his work shop and he had to get his implants running again.

After being back on his legs, V suddenly tasted iron on his tongue. Something wet and foamy boiled up in his throat. V spit it out. Immediately he had to throw up afterwards but had no clue what it was that came out of his stomach but it came with more taste of iron on his tongue.

Programs were running wild and he skipped through his Cyberdeck as good as he could, forced new neurons to interact with the implants in his eyes, breached protocols he shouldn't breach but he couldn't give less of a fuck.

Vision returned to his right eye. At the same time his fingers always twitched now when he blinked but that was a small prize to pay for some god damn vision. It also didn't came in colour but who would complain.

V managed to pull out his phone. Dropped it into the puddle of vomit and blood. Got it out. Swiped it on his shirt. Skipped through the phone. Fuck, why was that man so deep down in his contacts and why wasn't he on fast dial anyway! V forced his thumb to do one more click on the touch screen to dial Viktor's number.

Pick up, Vik. Come on. Pick up, pick up, pi-

“Hey V, what can I do for you?” Warm, deep, familiar voice.

Help me, Viktor. V wanted to say it but couldn't. There was only coughing what should be words. And yet it was all Viktor needed to know.

“Shit. Hold up, V. You hear me? I will get a Del to pick you up at your position asap. Just hold on. Hold on, V. You gotta hold on. Hold on .”

 

“...'Cause every little thing,

is gonna be all right...”

 

 

The pain was gone. Replaced by something worse: numbness. V couldn't feel his legs any more. Or his arms. Or his face. He should be able to feel his face, right? Right now he wondered if he even had one. This was worse than Mikoshi. Phantom pain was better than no feeling at all.

At least he could see a tiny white spot that slowly got bigger and bigger. Then Viktor's face got revealed, blurry. V managed to move his head and looked into Misty's face. Her make up was even more messed up than usual. It looked wet, smudgy.

“Can you hear me, V?” she asked with her quiet, soft voice. Soft Misty. Soft, soft, soft. Everything was so warm about her. V nodded. She smiled.

“Viktor is... trying to remove... something from your heart. He... had to give you a very strong sedative. Don't try and look. Your chest is open.”

Come on, Misty. I've seen worse shit than my own open chest.

She took in a deep breath. It was now that V realized that she was holding his hand, though he could only guess it from the way she was standing. He couldn't feel it.

“Your body is a mess, V” Viktor said, his voice trembling slightly. From concentration, V hoped. “I fixed you up as good as I could, restored some failed systems. I gave your lungs a boost, too. Removed clusters of blood that leaked out of your organs and into places it shouldn't leak, but...”

Yeah. But was no good. V hated buts. There was never a but... good news! No. But always meant bad shit.

“I don't know what I should do about your brain. I can't just take it out and replace it with Cyberware. The tumours in there... I am not even sure I can remove them without permanent and heavy damage to the tissue.”

V closed his eyes. He felt like clinching tightly and painfully to a rope that he could just let go. To fall. His body asked for it, right now, right here. Let go off the rope. Take the fall. Keep your eyes shut and just refuse to breath in these useless breaths.

Bullshit!

V had refused to fall asleep in his bed and never wake up, he'd refused to break down in an aisle and bleed to death, he'd refused to throw his life away in Mikoshi and let Johnny have his body. Fuck, he had a life to live. And he would make damn sure not to go down on Viktor's ripper doc chair, either. Brain replacement not possible? Fuck that. The Blue Eyed Man would make it possible.

 

As he felt V's grip on his arm, Viktor stopped working. From the look on his face, it hurt. V had no real control over the Gorilla arms any more. Carefully Viktor put the bloodied tools aside and loosened the hard grip of the fingers around his arm. He gnawed on his bottom lip in a pondering way but then slowly nodded.

“I have to butcher you. I hope you know that. You're gonna look like a failed Maelstrom experiment,” Viktor mumbled.

V nodded. Whatever it took.

“I am not even sure I can remove all of the black clumps in your chest...”

Fuck it, Vik. Just do it.

“V there can be... acceptance of your fate,” Misty said, so quiet, so soft. A voice like soothing balm for the soul. “You don't have to go through this any longer. Vik, he said... he can give you pills. Strong pills against the pain. You would be conscious and with us and just fade away, if you want to...”

Pain, what fucking pain, V wished to be able to feel pain, at least! Acceptance?

No.

“Boy is made from something harder than steel,” Viktor mumbled, more to himself than anyone else in the room.

Then he grabbed his tools again, set himself another shot, pulled the screens into vision and soon enough V could hear the sound of flesh being cut, metal moving in soft tissue, smacking like boots in mud.

 

Kerry. Kerry, Kerry, Kerry. Kerry. V's mouth tried to word the name. He was surprised how cracked it sounded. A mere whisper. There should be more voice in his throat, he thought. Misty understood nevertheless, she grabbed V's phone, her hand shaking just slightly. Left the room and made a call.

There was sweat on Viktor's forehead while he worked on V's chest. Under all the concentration, mirroring on Viktor's face, there was also worry. Deep worry. It was this moment V understood: it wouldn't be alright.

 

“...Singin', don't worry, about a thing
Worry about a thing, no...”

 

Kerry arrived fast. Or maybe not – V couldn't tell. He'd lost his sense of time a while ago. At least a sense for his body had returned. And it wasn't pleasant. Viktor's drugs must slowly fade off but that was good, that was preem. V wouldn't want it any other way. He wanted to be able to feel.

Kerry's face was a mask of stone. Whatever went through his head upon the sight of V in this ripper doc chair, he didn't show anyone.

His voice, however, was telltale.

“Fuck, V... don't... don't do this to yourself.”

He stepped next to the chair and took V's hand. It was a nice and warm feeling that got buried quickly under heavy waves of pain that were crushing over V non stop, like a flood that came to tear down a whole country.

V managed to frown. Grit his teeth. He tried to sit up, he really did.

Didn't work. Whatever was keeping him conscious right now, whatever was keeping him alive – it wasn't his body.

Kerry didn't cry. Not a single tear shimmered in his eyes while he looked at V, seemingly unafraid and calm but V could easily see beneath the charade. Kerry's whole body was tense and there was deep fear hidden in his gaze.

Misty cried. V didn't see her but he heard the quiet sobbing next to him. Viktor, behind Kerry, had stopped working. He slowly took off his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose. Then he looked up, into Misty's direction. She said something. V couldn't understand it. A moment later Viktor left and V assumed that Misty left too.

Three, four seconds later a dam broke.

A shiver went through Kerry's whole body, visibly, as he almost broke down. Instead he just leaned in, one hand holding V's, his other hand stroking V's hair, slowly and loving. Such a gentle touch, so soothing, numbing the pain.

Don't cry, Kerry. It doesn't suit you. I will be fine, don't worry.

V's mind was clear the moment he lost his vision but he felt Kerry's lips against his temple, a trembling kiss and a faint vibration. Spoken words? A hummed song, maybe?

V's mind was clear the moment he felt his body getting colder.

Don't worry. I am not leaving you, Kerry. Alright? Not gonna do that. Am just seriously tired right now.

His mind was clear and he knew he wanted to be angry, he'd been angry before at the unfairness, the pain, the shit show that was his life but he felt Kerry's presence, still. Maybe in death there was no wrath, only love.

He didn't close his eyes, lacking even the strength to do that.

Just his mind was clear, as he thought that this world was nothing more than just a play of lights and shadows and life, dwarfed to insignificance in the endless corridor of angles, was yielded by mirrors that reflected each other.

And every little thing was gonna be alright.

Notes:

Lyrics and title are taken from Bob Marley - Three Little Birds.

Chapter 17: Coffee

Summary:

V just wants to have some coffee.
He really does.

Notes:

It's been a while!
I've been pretty busy with other side projects (in case you're curious, one of them is a Cyberpunk AU story with three V's - check out my profile if you want to know more) but I know that I will always come back to this collection of short stories.
Granted I have an idea.
You know how in other games, companions and NPCs make comments about your romance? It's a shame that there's nothing like this included in Cyberpunk, except for Johnny who points out how nice Panam's ass is.
I wanted to include River and Judy in here too but that got too crowded then and so we mainly got Viktor and Panam here with two... very different views, I suppose.
Also: coffee.
This fic takes place after the The Sun ending but most likely before V went to space.

V needed a coffee.

He knew it the moment he woke up.

It weren't the pills that were keeping him alive. It was coffee. Had to be. He was almost certain.

With a groan he turned around in bed, only to find the other side empty. And yet V cracked a smirk and reached out with his hand to feel up the cold bed sheets, the pillow, the blanket. Kerry slept often here, almost like he didn't own a damn mansion up in North Oak and so the bedding faintly held his smell. It was what made V smile, drawing forth sweet memories of all the things they did in this very bed. Sweaty bodies grinding against each other, golden chrome shimmering in neon lights, black synth skin fingers grabbing tightly into toned hips that were moving so perfect, so fluent on top of him. And Kerry's voice in V's ear, loud, rough, demanding and-

V blinked, the sound of an incoming call pulled him out of his own day dreaming. He reached out with his hand and tried to grab the phone but only managed to push it off the night stand and onto the ground where it happily continued to vibrate.

“Ah shit...” V groaned and let his hands wander over his face. Robbing further to the edge of the bed, he noticed a certain throbbing sensation between his legs. His eyes wandered down to his shorts. There was a happy tent.

“Well aren't you chipper this morning,” he mumbled and for a second he pondered if he should just let his hand have some fun while an image of Kerry formed in his mind, naked at the beach, glittering droplets slowly dripping from his frame as he waded through the water that barely reached his hips, drenched in the golden light of a sinking sun...

V bit his lower lip and his eyes slipped close, his hand already sneaking into his shorts but then the picture in his mind got shattered most brutally because Kerry suddenly had Wakako's face.

“What the f-” hissed V and his eyes shot open. Cursed be modern technology that would throw the image of a caller directly into his brain!

“V. Bad moment?”

“Wakako, hey. N-no. It's fine,” he sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose.

“You sound weird. Worked up.”

“What? Oh. No. You caught me in my... my morning exercise. What can I do for you?”

“Several groups of the Tyger Claws had been found beaten up on the streets. Jun Azegami is on edge. The NCPD claims they had nothing to do with it. Valentinos say the same.”

“Beaten up? Not dead?”

“Pretty badly beaten up. And they all don't remember by whom. Some mean hacks must've been involved. Cyberpsycho attack, maybe. You know anything about it?”

“Me? No. Nope. Nothing. Nada de nada.”

Even though she wasn't here, just a holo image in his interface, V could feel her gaze on him, cold as steel.

“Hmm. Thought if anyone knows something it must be the King of the Afterlife.”

“Yeah. Sure. I come back at ya if I hear anything. Will look into it. 'kay? Promise, Wakako. But I need to get going now.”

And with that V ended the call. For a moment he glanced over to his newest acquirement: a green Midori biofabric cocktail jacket. With yellow pine stripes. Yellow pine stripes. And in mint condition, too! Perks of being able to shut down people without having them spill a tiny bit of blood. Those jackets were not sold any more but it was something Tyger Claw thugs liked to wear...

People said Kerry Eurodyne was eccentric. Truth be told: V could be just as eccentric – he was usually just able to hide it better.

With a sigh he closed his eyes and threw one arm over his face.

Well, the cosy moment was gone now.

However the crave for coffee wasn't.

 

One could be the best Netrunner of Night City and still not figure out what was wrong with the coffee machine.

“Come on, don't do this to me...” V whined and gave the machine a slap. Last resort. Nothing else had worked so far.

“Burp,” said the machine and offered V another cup of hot water.

“That is not coffee! That is... ah fuck, what time is it... shit. Should've been at Viktor's fifteen minutes ago.”

The coffee machine made one last sad sound and then turned itself off.

“Well fuck you too,” V just said, showed the cursed piece of metal his middle finger and went to leave the apartment.

 

---

 

“You got some coffee, Vik?” V asked, sitting on the ripperdoc chair.

“I am a little bit busy here right now,” was the answer to that. “Your Gorilla arms are fine? Not making any problems?”

“You installed them, you should know.”

“Well you made me install them with some black market battery that you got from who-knows-where. I don't sell such things in my shop.” Viktor threw a scolding glance over his glasses at V before he focused back on the screen.

“They are fine and not making any problems. No accidents.” V finally reported with a sigh.

“Just sayin' you could rip off a man's arm with those in the blink of an eye. Your Kiroshis? Not acting up at all?”

“Sometimes I think they're glitching a bit but I am not sure if it's them or... well. You know.”

Viktor knew. And he didn't say anything. Instead he made some adjustments and re-calibrated the implants. V had no clue if that really changed anything, made things better. Then again he wasn't the ripperdoc so whatever.

“And you?” Viktor finally asked after he'd finished to putter around V's eyes . “Are you alright? Those dabblers from the Afterlife got you on a good dosage? New pills working fine?”

V smirked. “Yeah it's all good. Your concern is appreciated but those are the best ripperdocs of the Afterlife. They keep me breathing. Don't worry. And after all – I still got my appointments with you, don't I?”

Viktor nodded slowly while he still looked at the screen.

“And you and... the Rockstar. Rockerboy.”

“Kerry.”

“Yeah. That good too?”

V almost had to laugh. There he was, Viktor Vektor, the most talented, patient and professional ripperdoc of NC and surely the toughest bastard V knew – asking if he was in a happy relationship. And no matter how hard Viktor tried to sound cool – V noticed that tiny hint of concern and worry in his voice.

“Couldn't be any better,” V finally said with an amused smirk.

“Supreme. Or whatever you kids say these days. We're done here, lemme finish the match now.” And with these words Viktor made a shooing motion with his hand while he rolled on his chair over to his other screen.

V was kind enough not to mention that Viktor had seen this match a dozen times already but there was something else.

“Soooo you got any-”

“Ask Misty.”

 

“Sure! I got some coffee for you, V,” Misty said with a warm smile and walked into the back of her shop. A bead curtain made some soft noise and then V was alone with tiny Buddha statues, Tarot cards and incense sticks. He wondered if she would really bring him coffee or just something that resembled coffee. A weird drink made of dirt that cleansed his Chakras or something.

“Ah crap what now...” V muttered annoyed as his phone demanded his attention once again. He frowned and for a moment considered to ignore it but his experience told him that this usually made things worse.

“V. I need your help. Right now. Where are you? Can you be here in five minutes? Shit. Need your ass here. Now!”

“Hi Panam, nice to hear you too. Where is here?”

“Coordinates send to you. Hurry up!”

“Sure but if you could just- aaaaand she hung up. Nova.”

 

---

 

Ten minutes later V found himself in a heated gun fight between a group of Scavengers and some Aldecaldos.

“The fuck happened here, Pan?!” V yelled over the noise of screaming people and gunfire.

“A deal that went south!” Panam answered and peeked out of cover for a second to send a few bullets towards a Scavenger thug.

“I can see that! Why the fuck are you still having deals with Scavengers?!”

“Well... it just happened, okay?! I didn't think it through, okay?!” she yelled.

V rolled his eyes. There he was, hiding behind some crates and still no coffee. He activated his cyberdeck and scanned everyone in the area, starting to decrypt the Scavengers network and amped up his little daemons. The good thing about taking out group after group of Tyger Claws the past couple of days? He'd really smoothed out his Contagion daemon. Did some work on it. Extended the RAM, reach and shortened the time it jumped to other people in the same network. By now this virus was able to eat through a crappy gang network in a matter of seconds, contaminating vital body functions in the blink of an eye.

“You owe me one, Panam,” V grumbled and she simply nodded. “Now watch this.”

V threw a confident smirk at her. His eyes flashed up with red light and not a second later they could hear one of the thugs coughing and wheezing. It didn't take long and people around him got affected – throwing up, bleeding from their eyes or just falling to the ground, cramped with spasms.

Panam's eyes widened while she slowly came out of cover.

“What the fuck V – when did you – how did you....?!” She still held her gun in her hand, ready to shoot anyone who dared to do more than rolling around in the dirt and groaning in pain.

“Few things changed since we did our last gig together,” V smirked and straightened his new jacket – damn he looked so good in this – before he closed the gap to Panam.

“Not bad. Really not bad. You really start to become one of these scary Netrunner guys, aren't you,” she said and gave him a pat on the back. “Thanks V. I mean it. So what do I owe you?”

V took in a deep breath.

“A coffee. Just a coffee would be really preem.”

 

She can't be serious, V thought. He was sitting on an empty beer crate and stared at a small open fire. For some reason Panam had insisted that V had to come back with her to the Aldecaldo camp. Apparently there was no place to get decent coffee in Night City, at least not affordable and the one she made over an open fire, in a tin pot, was better than anything he'd ever tasted.

Yeah.

Right.

But V wasn't in the mood for arguments and he knew fair well how Panam would've taken a 'no' to her invitation. Besides it was nice to see Saul, Mitch and the others again. And for sure Mitch took the opportunity to check Scorpion's bike. V took good care of it – honoured it – but Mitch always found a screw to tighten. V let him.

“The trick is,” Panam said, “to add some spice.”

“To coffee.”

“Yes! Cardamom works best.”

“You got cardamom out here?” V asked, genuinely surprised.

“Well... no,” Panam admitted hesitantly and stirred the black brew in the pot.

I am not drinking that. It will kill me, V thought, panic rising in his chest.

“Just trust me, V. Okay?” She smiled up at him. “When we're out here in the desert, I always make my coffee like this.”

“Yeah but when you're out here you also eat roasted possum tails, don't you?” V smirked.

The smile vanished from Panam's face and got replaced with a frown.

V lifted his hands.

“Sorry, sorry. Just a joke.”

“You should come with us,” she insisted. “We're leaving soon and...” Panam let out a sigh and avoided his gaze for a moment before she pulled herself together and looked V straight into the eyes. “I think your friend Judy is right. This city it's... it's not good. We like you, V. You can have a family with us. The Aldecaldos welcome you with open arms. You just have to say a word! There's so much out there – we would hunt for a cure with you. And...” she leaned in with a smile, “Saul is single, you know?”

V backed off.

“Woah. The hell, Panam.”

“S-sorry. Didn't mean to... I just thought you're...”

“Into older guys?” V raised one eyebrow.

“Yeah. No. I mean... you and Kerry. I mean... that can't be anything... serious. Right?”

Now it was V who frowned. “And why not?”

Panam started to open her mouth but then just made a frustrated noise and threw her arms into the air. “Come on, V. That's never going to work out. He's some shiny celebrity. Your world, his world... are so different. I am just worried, okay? Don't want you to end up as some kind of joy toy... and with your situation and everything I... I guess I just feel you need some stability and-”

“Ah. Yeah. Right. You don't know anything about him outside of celebrity news, don't you?” V stood up and looked over to his bike. Seemed like Mitch was done with it. “Need to delta now. Thanks for the coffee, Panam.”

“But you didn't had any.”

“I know.”

 

While V got back to his bike, Mitch walked over and casually put an arm around Panam's shoulder. “You're really bad at telling a guy that you like him, aren't you,” he grinned and earned a hissed “Shut the fuck up, Mitch.”

 

---

 

The sand felt warm and nice under his naked feet. V was watching the sun slowly vanishing over the horizon. Drenching the sea in golden light.

He took in a deep breath. The salty breeze was almost stronger than Night Cities stench and when the wind was right, it could even overwhelm this constant smell of oil and trash and dead dreams.

V heard a car coming abruptly to a stop with screaming wheels. He didn't need to turn around to know that it was one certain custom made Aerondight but he did when he heard Kerry's voice calling out his name.

“Glad you came,” V said after he'd pulled Kerry into a tight hug.

“My favourite lover boy called, sure I hop into my car and tell everyone in the studio to eat shit,” Kerry said, one arm still around V's shoulder.

“Oh, I am your favourite? How many come after me?”

“Ah well. You know me. Dozens.”

“Figure skaters? Mostly?” V snickered.

Kerry gave him a wink and then let go of him.

“So. What's the occasion? Got a yacht to burn? 'cause I recognize this beach.”

“Yeah legend has it that there's a guitar at the bottom of the sea here, somewhere. And the one who finds it becomes as legendary as Johnny Silverhand himself.”

“Ouch.” Kerry put a hand over his heart. “You didn't call me out here to mock me, did you?”

V laughed lightly. “Actually,” he said and then went over to a rock where he'd placed two cups. “I wanted to have a coffee. With you. Watching the sun set while we drink it. Maybe jump into the water later? Naked?”

Kerry slowly raised one eyebrow and hesitantly grabbed the coffee.

“Uhu. You alright, choom? I mean I like the part where we're naked but what's with the coffee?” Being wary, Kerry sniffed the cup.

“Don't worry, it's the good stuff. Made sure to get it from Captain Caliente. No sugar. No milk. No extras,” V assured him and then took a sip from his coffee himself. With a more than pleased sigh he closed his eyes and sat down. What a heavenly and blissful taste on his tongue.

“Funny story with the coffee. Let's just say my day didn't go as planned. Doesn't mean the evening can't be nice though.”

“Whatever you say,” Kerry shrugged and sat down next to V.

For a while they were silent, indeed just watching how the sun went down.

“Hey, Ker?” V started after he got comfy against Kerry's chest, who wrapped his arm around him.

“Hm?”

“I'm serious about you. About... us.”

“If you gonna propose to me now, I will drown you.”

V laughed. “Fair enough. Don't worry. Guess I just want to...” V was lost for words but felt how Kerry's thumb started to caress his arm softly.

“Yeah. I know. And... I get ya. I do. We're tuned to the same frequency after all,” Kerry added more quiet, more softly and pressed a kiss against V's neck.

V hummed satisfied.

“So,” Kerry then said chipper. “Tell me about your shitty day and I will tell you about my shitty day, like boring couples do but then we get all naked and into the water and make out. Deal?”

V laughed again.

“Deal. Alright. It all started with me having the nicest day dream...”

“Was I a part of it?”

“Ohh you were part of it indeed...”

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 18: Black Leather And Black Ink

Summary:

About coffee, butts and the past.

Notes:

You might have noticed that the previous chapter 18, Signed And Sealed In Blood, got deleted by me.
This is the reworked version.
It also has a great artwork done by the great nc_caliburn for me, thank you so much! Check out their Instagram, tons of awesome CP content there:
https://www.instagram.com/nc_caliburn/

For nensha.

“Don't you think it's a bit too tight?” V asked hesitant.

“Stop complaining. You gotta wiggle with your ass a bit,” Kerry assured.

“Still don't think it'll fit...”

“Just... push a bit harder, you will survive.” Kerry rolled his eyes over V being so reluctant.

“I really have no clue how the fuck you do this every day, Kerry...” V groaned strained.

“Well, my ass was made for it. Now just give it a final pull... see! Wasn't so hard, was it?”

V let out a huffed breath and turned around to face Kerry, who sat on the bed, wearing nothing but a pair of grey boxers and a big, shit eating grin on his face, while he'd enjoyed that reverse striptease in front of him.

“Never realized how low cut they actually are. They barely cover my hip bones,” V said and grimaced slightly.

“And they are made of real leather. Just sayin',” Kerry pointed out with pride while he let his gaze wander over V's otherwise naked body, pleased with what he saw.

“So what level of Eurodyne narcissism did we reach now that you made me wear your pants for you?” V asked amused.

Kerry clapped a hand over his heart and gasped.

“Narcissism! Coming from the guy who has his own name tattooed on his throat!”

“That's actually just a coincidence,” V laughed.

“Oh, really. Lame excuse. Next thing you tell me it's the Valentino's sign or something. Pfft,” Kerry said and crossed his hands behind his head while he still shamelessly enjoyed the view of V in these black leather pants. They really were a bit tight around the ass but that just made it better. Kerry shivered slightly in pleasant anticipation over the thought of peeling V out of them again.

V smirked and raised an eyebrow.

“You would be surprised...” he hummed.

 

 

---

 

11 years ago

 

“¡Vincent, me rompes el corazón!” she yelled and clapped her hands over her heart, dramatically and with a sob. “You are not going out with that Jackie-kid again to meet these drug dealers, these horrible gangs!”

V rolled his eyes. Not the you break my heart, Vincent!- bullshit again. He met his mother halfway down the stairs where she blocked the path like a Militech fighter bot.

“And what is that? Hu?!” She pointed at his neck.

Fuck, V thought but decided to be brave and lifted his head a bit so she could see it better. It was fresh, he got it done just yesterday night when he once again had been sneaking out of the house to meet with Jackie and the others. Finally they'd accepted him in. And all he had to do was that tiny delivery of some stolen chrome to some ripperdoc. Has been as easy as cheesecake. And to seal the deal, to fully welcome him in, he had to wear their mark. V had decided that guns and roses were exactly his thing but that a prominet V, right at his throat, could not only stand for them...

“Oh míos dios...” V's mother lamented. “The Valentinos, Vincent... these people are dangerous... your father and I, we work day and night to keep you out of such trouble...”

“Yeah. And that's why you don't even make enough eddies for more than a two-room apartment in the gutters of Santo Domingo. We live in a motel, Mamá... I got more eddies in one night than you two in a month. With a tiny gig. Wasn't even dangerous.”

“Why don't you just take that internship... you are such a smart kid. They were impressed by your grades. That's what he said, that man from Arasaka. Impressed!”

V scoffed and tried to squeeze his way past his mother without having to shove her away.

“Yeah. Last thing I want is to become a Corpo-rat,” he grunted and finally, she stepped aside to let him slip through.

“Vincent.” Her voice was suddenly dead serious, cutting through the air like a knife. V hesitated to leave through the door. No more mi corazón! charade, that meant something.

“The streets hold no future for you, mi hijo. With Arasaka comes not only money. There comes insurance. High tech cyberware. Trauma Team, even. There comes life. A life me and your father never had but try to give you, don't you see? You can become the best Netrunner Night City ever heard of. I know you got that in you. But the streets, the gangs, Vincent... they hold no future. So don't... don't walk through that door, te lu ruego...”

V clenched his fist and his jaw.

“Wasn't me who decided to move to the hell hole called Night City and bring a child into this slum,” he said bitter and left.

 

It would be the last time he'd seen his mother alive.

 

 

---

 

“So you've actually been a gang kid,” Kerry said. “Cool.”

“No, it wasn't cool.” V shook his head. “But it's how I met Jackie... will ever be thankful for that.” He let out a sigh and let himself fall down on the bed. “My parents were dreamers, Ker. They moved from Mexico to Night City before I was born. They never brought it to something. Never were able to live the dream,” he said accentuated. “And just like that, like all bubbles pop, they got caught in the fire between 6^th Street and Valentinos. Up to this day I don't even know why they were trashing that whole motel and everyone inside.”

“You miss them?” Kerry asked.

“Not really. I sometimes feel like I do but I am not sure if that's just old guilt talking to me. I should miss them, right? It's wrong not to, isn't it?” V frowned a bit and Kerry just shrugged for an answer. “Might be weird but I made my peace with the past. It took that internship though. Not that I had other options but my parents worked hard to even get my file on a desk of some Arasaka leadhead, so I could at least take that chance. Can't say it was the smartest thing I've done in my life...”

While V talked, Kerry propped himself up on one ellbow and started to trace the snake on V's chest with his fingers.

V hummed quietly and content under the touch and closed his eyes with a smile.

“That snake here got anything to do with it?” Kerry asked and V hummed in agreement.

“Yeah. It's super cringe, though. So don't let me spell it out, alright...?”

Kerry smiled a tiny, devilish smirk.

“Got better plans with your mouth anyway...” he hummed and rolled over to lie on top of V.

“Then you better manage to get me out of these pants,” V said.

 

---

 

6 years ago.

 

V's head swam. It was the third time he threw up into the toilet. Panting hard, he put his back against the door of the stall and closed his eyes. His right hand searched for the pills, well hidden under his suit but he more wished to find a gun there. Blow his lights out. Shit wasn't worth it anymore.

And yet, he pulled himself up again, stumbled out of the door and heavily propped himself up against the sink.

The mirror activated and V looked at his own pale reflection.

“Fuck.”

He wiped his mouth and washed it out with ice cold water, splashing some of it into his face. Suddenly he noticed something. His vision was blurry so he had to blink a few times but then the scales became clear. Black ink on pale skin.

V hasn't even noticed how he'd ripped his suit open to get access to his pills but now it exposed a part of his chest – and as a matter of fact a part of a something V had done before he'd taken the internship at Arasaka that would lead him to this job under Arthur Jenkins himself. It was a promise to himself, signed and sealed in blood and ink. Even if the fucking Corpo-snake would encircle his heart - it would never stop beating.

 

---

 

V crawled out of the bed, which resulted in a mumbled protest coming from Kerry.

“Who told you to leave me here in cold solitude...” Kerry moaned into the cussions. He decided to open one eye. At least he got rewarded with a view of one butt naked V from behind. And butt was exactly where Kerry's gaze was glued on. It was such a fine butt. Very fine in tight leather pants but at the end of the day even better with no pants at all.

“Whatya doin' over there that's more important than me right now?” Kerry demanded to know.

“Coffee,” was the answer and Kerry rolled his eyes.

“At least make one for me too.”

“Already at your service,” V said as he returned and sat down at the edge of the bed. “Black, no milk, no sugar.” He held out a cup towards Kerry while he took a sip from his own.

“Know what I don't get?” Kerry said after he grabbed the coffee and sat up in bed. “If you hated Arasaka so much and if working there drained out your life... why do you still keep ugly shit like this?” He nodded towards the cup in V's hand.

It was a black and red coffee cup with Arasaka's emblem and lettering prominently printed on it.

“Was a gift from a friend there,” V said. “Not everyone at Arasaka was an asshole... there were good people, too.”

“Oh, sure, sure. That's why you got a tattoo of a snake on your chest, resembling the evil and toxic Corpo world full of evil and toxic people that encircle your heart and want to eat it...” Kerry said and then snickered. “So deep.”

“Ah shut up, Ker. I was young and rebelious, okay? And I was 16 when I had it done. 16 and full of anger, hate and sadness. Don't gimme shit about it, you still do stupid stuff at your age,” V huffed.

“Rockerboys don't age, everyone knows that. Corpo-rats on the other hand...”

“Keep it to yourself,” V grunted with a playful punch in Kerry's direction.

Kerry gasped in faked indignation. “You almost made me spill my coffee!”

“Speaking about being young and rebelious...” V got up again, probably to fill up his own cup again. The way he downed hot bevarges made Kerry assume that V had a lead coated throat or somethig.

“Yeah that goat skull is hard to miss,” Kerry said.

“Ever bothered to read the text underneath...?” V asked.

Kerry raised an eyebrow. There was a text underneath?

“Too be fair, usually I am not in the position to gaze at your back,” he purred and made V laugh.

“Lame excuse for not paying attention to the art on my body.”

Kerry gave V's back a closer inspection. “Oh well, let's see then what type of bible verse you go-”

Silence. Kerry actually got caught by surprise.

“Didn't take you for that much of a Samurai fan. That Johnny's doing? You let him have your body for one night and he started to ink it up...?” Kerry's voice sounded colder than he wanted to. For some reason it irked him, seeing these words written on V's back, embodied there like a fucking statement.

“Hmm no. I mean Johnny did ink me up when I let him have my body for just one lousy night but no. This one here is older, much older. From my youth, too.”

Kerry was tempted to ask what and where exactly Johnny had inked up but he didn't want to make this conversation about Silverhand.

“When little Vincent heard Chippin' In for the very first time... it wasn't the version from Samurai.” V's voice was gentle. He did Kerry the favour not to turn around so he could give him all the freedom to make a stupid face of sudden realization kicking in.

“You're kiddin' me,” Kerry said flatly.

“Nope! It was a tiny radio that blasted it while it was standing in the tiny kitchen of a two-room apartment in a motel in the gutters of Santo Domingo. And a little Punk, who had just decided that he knew better than his parents, that he knew better than anyone else, heard these lines: Not backing down, never backing down. And fuck me, that voice that sang that song? Pure energy. Electrifying.”

“Now you're buttering me up,” Kerry said but grinned. “Fuuuck. Can't believe you were a damn fanboy from the start.”

V laughed. “I kinda forgot about it when I got older, really. But hey, I guess... I reached the ultimate fanboy goal, hu?”

“Gonk.”

 

Kerry's eyes were glued on the lyrics on V's back.

My soul invaded vital force.

“You do know what they say about Rockerboys and their groupies, right?” Kerry asked.

Won't spare what I'm hunting for.

“Hmm. There's always sex involved...?” V answered amused.

It's the animal within my blood.

“Yeah. And usually it's the Rockerboy who get's the blow job.”

Wouldn't stop it, if I could.

“Mmh. Usually.”

Seed is sown, I'm chippin' in.

“Rules are meant to be broken.”

Roll the bones, I'm chippin' in.

“What rebel you are...”

Embed the code, I'm chippin' in.

“Always been, V. Always been.”

 

Not backing down
Never

backing down.

 

 

Notes:

I am aware that there might be similarities to David from Edgerunner in my V's past. I am not a fan of that tbh but I made up my V's background long before Edgerunner got released and I am not willing to change it just because of it.
V's tattoos as close up:
https://ibb.co/kQxJqH2 - the snake on his chest
https://ibb.co/42bJMrB - the "V" on his throat
https://ibb.co/nwbg9YG - Chippin' In

Chapter 19: Hangover

Summary:

Kerry has a hangover.
V has a relic malfunction.

Notes:

Wow, it's been a while, hasn't it.
Phantom Liberty is out since a while now and I do have a fair amount of opinions on it but nonetheless, it inspired me to write some Kerry/V one shots again.
I feel like I am a bit rusty though; so before I try to tackle on the new ending(s), I aimed for something shorter, simpler, inspired by events in Dogtown and by a message Kerry sends.
Takes place after the infiltration of the Black Sapphire in the Phantom Liberty main quest.

Please note that English isn't my native language so please forgive me my mistakes but feel free to show them to me!

- - - -Relic Malfunction- - - -

 

“Argh, shit... not now...”

Pain pierced through V's skull like a hot bolt. He stumbled, just barely managed to drop down behind a car wreck, dodging badly aimed shots coming his way. Fortunately, his little Reboot Optics daemon went through before the relic decided to fry his brain at the worst possible moment. Otherwise, that Voodoo Boy thug might have actually hit his target before it was able to seek cover.

V's body started to cramp. His hands were shaking, fingers twitching. Through the white noise in his brain, he heard the steps behind him much too late. At the last second, he managed to roll on his back and lift his leg to kick against the chest of the yelling goon, who came chasing after him brandishing a knife. But V's Chrome refused to work as intended, his kick not nearly strong enough to make the goon stumble or even fall. Not a moment later V felt the burning pain of a blade being stabbed into his lungs.

He gasped, coughing up some blood but bit through the pain. Lifting his right fist with nothing but pure will power, he rammed it into the temple of the goon. V merely noticed the sound of fully charged Gorilla Arms breaking bones and metal alike, followed by a soft, squishy noise.

The goon fell limp to the side. A dark puddle of blood quickly forming where once had been his skull.

It wasn't over yet, V still noticed two more enemies in the network. However, his Kiroshis were too busy sending him several warnings about the relic malfunction and systems failing. It was hard to see through the wall of blinking errors and find the remaining two thugs.

“Fuck... this... shit...” he groaned, grabbed his shotgun with one arm and used his other to pull himself back on his feet.

“Fout tonè! Chen sal!” V heard these words but failed to understand them. His translator implant was probably not among the essential systems and not given priority right now... but it told him at least where his target was. Without having a look, he aimed the shotgun towards the voice, pulled the trigger and sank back behind cover. V knew the cries of a dying man, who's been ripped to shreds by the full spread blast of a power shot gun. Thing wasn't called Bloody Maria for nothing.

One thug remained.

V booted his Cyberdeck, forced it to scan the area for the nearest sign of life and without further thinking who or what it might be, he forced a Contagion daemon through the ICE and allowed himself to take a deep breath the moment he heard someone vomiting the shit out of their intestines.

And a moment later... silence.

In the distance V heard the constant noise of Dog Town and the white between his ears slowly numbed down.

He took a deep breath and pulled the knife out of his chest.

“Preem... shit...” he mumbled. He already felt his lungs repairing themselves again, but the pain and the blood loss were never fun. V decided that this car was as good place as any other to catch his breath and recover from the attack.

“Worst fucking moment to fuck me over, Johnny...”

Instead of hearing a sarcastic answer from Johnny though, he heard a short peep.

“Who the f-”

V pulled out his phone. Blinking at the blue screen, he saw a message from Kerry.

'Ah V fuuuck worlds biggest hangover, shakes and willies. Need a kind soul to tell me I'll come out the other side OK :-/ my age be damned ;-| '

V heard a rattle coming from his lungs with every heavy breath he took. Shakes and willies? What in the-? V kept staring at the message like it was some sort of cryptic riddle and wished for his fucking chrome to just hurry the fuck up and fix itself. He didn't want to go and see a Ripper Doc just because of one knife.

Yet there he was. Rattling lungs, probably some blood leaking inside of him where it didn't belong, beaten up by some third-class Voodoo Boy goons, all because the biochip in his head decided to hurry up in the process of flat lining its host.

And there he was, reading a message from Kerry who was complaining about a hangover.

V wished he could complain about a hangover.

Had nothing else to complain about but a hangover.

He stared at his phone for the longest while. The gonk inside of him wanted to smile brightly, simply because Kerry had thought about him, had wrote him of all people a message, probably right after waking up with a head as heavy as stone. Kerry, all wrapped in blankets and pillows, empty booze bottles and pillboxes all around him, a guitar somewhere in the bed, blinking himself back into consciousness, groaning from the heaviness of the hangover and just reaching for his phone, reaching out to V...

… but V wasn't all gonk.

He was also a dying man grasping at straws, sitting with his back to a dirty car wreck, coughing up blood. There was the still twitching and warm corpse of a Voodoo Boy goon right next to him - and that all in the possible worst place to be in all of Night City.

V typed a reply.

'Need better candy to pop at raves, physio venting helps, mutes nerves, you'll stride strong, won't bother us workin peeps!'

Sending the message away, V wasn't even sure if it really was meant for Kerry – or rather for himself. And Kerry seemed to have similar thoughts.

'Srsly V – soundin like you need time off, ad hoc vacay. U know, throw the monkey off your back, dunno, air your skull sponge.'

V let his head drop against the whipped car and allowed himself to close his eyes for a second, fading out the noise and stench of Dog Town, just for a moment.

Vacation. Wouldn't it be nice. On some white beach, somewhere in this world where the drinks were cold and the sun was warm. Lying under a palm tree with not a thing to worry about.

The peace held only for the breath of a moment as the booming deep sounds of an air drop cut through the air and into V's thoughts, pulling him away from the beach and drinking cocktails with Kerry. If only he could...

V looked at his phone again. Send a message.

'That an invite...? ;>'

He saw Kerry typing immediately after he'd sent away those words and it made V smile. The thought of Kerry, still heavy with a hangover, was staring at his phone, eagerly awaiting a response from V – it was a nice thought. A warm thought.

'Dunno, maybe...?'

'My door's wiiiiiiiide open, always ;>'

That's it, V thought. There was no point in crawling through this mud, coughing out the bloody bits of his cyber lung, while he could also be on the couch with Kerry and listen to his antics of NC's night life. It wasn't a white beach with palm trees but it was with Kerry and that's what mattered. Reed had said that he needed a couple of days anyway before he would come back at V. And sure, he could idle away the time by doing contracts, gigs and shoot up hide outs of Scavs and Voodoo Boys alike – or he could spend at least a few hours in somewhat happiness.

No counting rounds, right?

V typed one more message.

'Right, I know. One of these days – surprise! You'll see, be at your front door.'

V pulled himself back on his legs and took in a deep breath. Seemed like the rattling in his lungs had stopped. He felt better. Not good – but better. And the prospect of seeing Kerry – not in one of these days but actually quite soon – gave him a moment of ease and peace.

 

 

 

I'm running out of time
'Cause I can see the sun light up the sky
So I hit the road in overdrive

 

 

V parked his bike in the purple lighted drive way. He noticed a couple of very expensive cars and a quick scan told him that those weren't Kerry's, except for the Reyfield Aerondight. Suspiciously there was no noise coming from the mansion. No blasting music, not even a lot of lights. There were party guests - but no party? The security bots were at ease and it gave V a strange sense of comfort to be able to walk so freely among them and to just let the scanner at the front door recognize his hand imprint and open up for him.

 

V was welcomed by the usual sight of pure chaos. He could swear that there were more empty bottles, broken glass and random clothes on the floor than before.

Carefully he navigated through the mess.

And then, in Kerry's large living room, he was greeted with a living and breathing Renaissance painting. Bodies all over the table, the floor, the furniture. Some naked, some barely clad. Golden and silver chrome shining in the light of the dim lamps and Night City's own neon spark. And all above it the soft snoring and groaning of a collective hangover.

 

“Oh, hey V!” Kerry's voice sounded tired and content at the same time but also deep and rough, as if too much Whiskey, too many cigarettes and quite the amount of other drugs had left their marks on it.

V stepped over a sleeping woman to join Kerry on the couch.

There he was, on his back, barely able to lift his head and with a guitar resting on his stomach. One hand lazily plucked some strings but the guitar wasn't connected and didn't really make a sound.

Kerry lifted his legs just long enough so V could sit down and then let them drop on V's thighs. V rested his hands on Kerry's legs. He let out an amused snort.

“Surprised to see me?”

“Nah, not really. That 'one of these days' sounded rather urgent to me,” Kerry mumbled. “You're predictable and in this case, I like that!”

“Yeah. Right. And what's... that? A new form of art?”

Kerry let his sunglasses slide down so he could throw a glance over their rim. He took his time to look around the room, one eyebrow raised, as if he was just as surprised as V by this view.

“Yeah. Might call it that,” he said. Then his eyes were shining blue for a few moments – and not a second later everyone in the room was in for a rude awaking. Kerry let his fingers graze over the guitar strings, aimless and merciless. A loud and screeching sound filled the house for a moment, being blasted out of several speakers that all were heavily over tuned. Bodies started to move and groan. V could almost feel their headache.

“Wake up, ya gonks! Wanna introduce you to someone!” Kerry exclaimed.

A few tired eyes started to find V.

“That's V, my uhm... muse! And the little bird who helps me when I need to delta – or when you chooms need to delta.”

“Pleasure to meet you all,” V said with an amused smirk.

Confused faces were turned towards him. V could barely contain a chuckle.

“That's Spector over there. Ya remember Spector, right?” Kerry said and waved into a darker corner of the room where a man was smoking a cigarette. Spector Cheng gave V a nod. V nodded back.

“And that over there is Jeff...”

“Jehans...” corrected 'Jeff'.

“Yeah whatever... my new manager. Maybe new manager. If he manages to get me that world tour in 2078, 2079 latest. And I want the Crystal Palace, hear me Jespar?”

“Yes, Mr. Eurodyne... I will... manage that... and it's Jehans...”

“Yeah, you will. That's why you're the manager, 'cause ya manage stuff.”

Jehans groaned. Judging by the colour of his face, V guessed that he was busy finding his innards at the moment. Jehans stood up and went to look for some pants and because of that, a quite busty woman underneath him was freed and lifted her head.

“Oh, welcome back to the living, Betty,” Kerry grinned and nudged V. “That's Betty. Great bust. Great baker, too.”

“Baker?” questioned V. “That a thing?”

“High luxury goods, V. Really expensive pastry and scones 'n stuff. Gotta be rich to afford her.”

V recalled something like that from his days at Arasaka Counter Intel. Didn't Arthur Jenkins himself order some fine pastry once in a while, made by some company called BBB? He suddenly wondered what those three B could stand for.

“And the other people...?” asked V and watched how zombie after zombie slowly raised.

“Figure skaters, mostly.” Kerry shrugged. “Yeah folks, party's over, don't make me tell V to throw y'all out... Spector, catch up with ya later...”

 

V was surprised by how fast the party ensemble was able to leave Kerry's property. Almost like they were used to it.

V's hands started to knead Kerry's calves.

“So, what was the occasion?”

“Music, V,” Kerry hummed all content and pleased under V's massaging hands. “Songs. I got ideas. Visions. A new album. And man! It's going to be a banger.”

“And I am your muse...?” V smirked and Kerry lifted his head, just enough to take a lazy look at V before he melted over the arm rest again.

“Yeah you are...” he said softly and lifted one arm, like he wanted to paint an invisible rainbow into the air. “There's one song... wrote that one 'bout you, V... just you.”

A strange sensation settled in V's stomach. Not unpleasant but unexpected.

“That's the hottest thing someone ever said to me,” he said.

“I bet,” Kerry said with low voice and let he guitar slide from his chest. Slowly he worked himself into a somewhat sitting position, his legs still stretched over V's lap.

V leaned in, one hand reaching out to take the sun glasses off from Kerry but the moment he did, Kerry just hissed and squinted his eyes hard.

“Ah, f-fuck, light, horrible invention... fuck, I'm gonna throw up.”

V had to laugh.

“So the hangover really is that bad, hu?”

“Fuck, don't laugh, you gonk. I almost called Trauma Team on this when I woke up. Lemme just...” Kerry stretched, grabbing the first bottle in reach and took a swig. V would bet his cyberdeck that this wasn't water.

“... better. And now come here, kid.”

Kerry grabbed V's head and pulled him into a deep kiss. The taste of strong alcohol was on his lips and tongue and V wanted to drink it all in.

 

Kerry pulled back after a few seconds, biting his lower lip. For a moment V was back on the yacht. And what followed was that amazing feeling of having no worries. At least for one short, blissful moment. Kerry's seducing smirk. The spark in his eyes. That breath of freedom.

 

“Tell me, V. What have you been up to?” Kerry searched for a cigarette, found one and got comfortable on the couch and V's lap again.

“Actually... I've just been to a big thing in the Black Sapphire. Kinda expected to see your face there too, to be honest. Lots of big celebs there. Lizzy Wizzy performed on stage.”

“Psh... Black Sapphire,” Kerry scoffed. “Think I would go do such a place, filled to the brim with corpo rats, specially when I am not the one on stage...? Nah, got better shit to do. Like writing these new songs... but shit, V, if I had known, we could've party together, thrash the bar, ya know, flip some eddies.”

“Yeah...” V said slowly, “I wasn't exactly there to... party.”

“Shiiit! A gig then?” Kerry said excited. “Could've been your sidekick, choom! What were you doing there? Not working for that lead head Hansen, I hope?”

“I uhm... long story. It was an infiltration job. For the FIA. A little follow up after I rescued and met the president of NUSA.”

Kerry froze in motion. The tiny flame of the lighter burned but the cigarette just fell out of Kerry's mouth.

“You're kidding.”

“Nope.” V picked up the cigarette and put it back into Kerry's mouth. “And if things go as planned then... they gonna help me with the relic.”

“Johnny.” A weird shadow crossed Kerry's face, one of old pain and sudden clarity through the pills, the alcohol and the hangover. He averted his gaze for a moment, as if he didn't want V to see any of that.

“They can save my life...” V said slowly.

He truly hoped they could. And if he would have to beat up Hansen with his own fists for that, if he would have to burn down all of Dogtown just for this chance – he would do it.

For a few moments there was silence between them. It wasn't the unpleasant kind but V wondered what went through Kerry's head. He would've probably asked, if it wasn't for Kerry to face him again, showing a determined smile.

“You better make the fucking FIA keep that promise then. 'cause the "A" in FIA stands for "assholes", y'know. If I go and have that world tour, I'm gonna need a personal body guard. And I only take the very best merc of Night City for that.”

There it was again. That warm feeling in V's stomach.

“I hope you pay well, Ker. This merc works for the president herself right now – I might wanna up my pay rates.”

“I can offer you something much better than the president of NUSA every could,” Kerry said with seductive tone but then he grimaced slightly in sudden pain and blinked irritated. “But not right now. Feels like a small animal is living in my stomach and wants out.” He closed his eyes with a groan but then started to move and shift around on the couch until he could lay with his head on V's lap.

“You gonna stay?” he murmured, eyes still closed.

“A few hours, sure,” V said softly and let his fingers gently brush through Kerry's hair.

“Preem, preem...” Kerry muttered, slowly dozing off.

V just watched him. Listened to the soft but steady snoring that was now the only noise in the big, dark mansion. His hand still combed through Kerry's hair and he turned his gaze towards the large windows. The mud of Pacifica seemed to be so far away from here. His problems, if just for a few hours, seemed to shrink too.

 

And even Night City was just a large silhouette made out of gorgeous neon lights and dark shadows from here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Notes:

The text messages are taken 1:1 from the game. I have no clue HOW heavy Kerry's hangover was for him to write like that.
"I'm running out of time
'Cause I can see the sun light up the sky
So I hit the road in overdrive"
is taken from "The Weeknd - Blinding Light".

Chapter 20: A Thing Of Beauty

Notes:

So...
This is it.
It feels weird to replace the ? in the chapters with a final 20 - but then again, 20 is a good number, isn't it?
I know I said I would write a retake on the PL ending but truth be told it feels like a chore and I don't have any good ideas either. I let it simmer for a while, thinking some might come but I haven't even replayed the ending to look at details etc. Phantom Liberty didn't catch me in ways Cyberpunk 2077 did back then. And I feel now what I felt since a while:
it is time to close this chapter of fanfiction. It was the biggest thing I've ever written (and might remain the biggest thing I will ever write), I never thought it would take off so well, all the kudos, comments, bookmarks and views... I couldn't be more happy and thankful for all of you.
But it's time for me to move on.
It doesn't mean that I am out of CP content at all - if you want to, you can give my Instagram a visit:
https://www.instagram.com/netrunner_107.3/
it's (mostly) dedicated to my V and Cyberpunk, so I would be glad to see some of you there.
None of this would've been possible without the people that pushed me to write better with every one shot, so nensha, Maxkimy, totally_nat: thank you, guys.

As a final goodbye, take this picture of V and Kerry in bed.

Let them sleep.

Let them rest.