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“Just a black coffee?”
“Yeah,” He said, pulling out his credit card.
“What size?” The cashier asked.
“Large, please.” He handed her the credit card as she typed his order into the register. After handing back his card and receipt, she picked up the largest size cup and grabbed a sharpie. “Name?”
“Kyle.” He said.
“Thank you! Your order will be ready in a few minutes.” She jotted his name down quickly, and he stepped out of the line, making his way to a table in the corner of the room. He sat down, leaning back and crossing his arms over his chest.
He wasn’t even sure why he sat down; he was just stopping in on his way to Stan’s house. It had been a few years since the two had seen each other. Kyle had moved out of state for law school and started working in New Jersey, and he couldn’t remember the last time he really spent any time with Stan in person.
He was going to be staying with his super best friend and his wife, Wendy. The two of them had beat all odds and managed to stay together into adulthood. Kyle wasn’t too surprised though, Stan and Wendy had been together forever.
Kyle himself was single. Still single. And pretty sure he was going to stay that way.
“Kyle!”
He stood up, walking to the counter and grabbing his plain old boring coffee. He didn’t even bother to put anything in it, choosing to drink it straight black. He just needed a little bit of energy after his long plane ride before he was bombarded by Stan’s kid.
“Large black coffee.” He heard from the register. “And a large caramel frappuccino.”
Kyle took a sip of his coffee, looking over at the counter at a familiar head of blonde hair. No. He thought. In a Harbucks?
“Tweek?” Kyle asked.
“Ack! Kyle?” Tweek nearly dropped his phone as the cashier scanned his rewards card. “Is that you?”
“Yes,” He responded. He hadn’t seen Tweek since high school. In fact, other than Stan and Kenny, he didn’t really keep in contact with anyone from high school. “How are you?”
The cashier handed Tweek back his credit card, writing his name on the cup without asking for it. A regular?
“Oh, uh, well I’m doing okay.” Tweek said, walking over to Kyle and leaning against the counter where the milk and sugar was. “No complaints on my end.”
“That’s good.” Kyle said, sipping at his coffee again. He needed to leave, he told Stan he would be over soon. He stretched his arm out, letting the cuffs of his shirt pull back to reveal his watch as he checked the time.
Okay, maybe he had a bit before he had to leave.
“How are you?” Tweek asked, tapping his fingers on the countertop. “It’s been, what, like at least ten years right?”
“Yeah probably.” Kyle responded. He eyed Tweek’s hands, noting the wedding band on his left ring finger. “I’m alright. No complaints here either.”
“Well that’s good.” Tweek looked around the rest of the store.
The two settled in an awkward silence, and Kyle took a few more sips of his coffee. He glanced at his watch again. Well, it was probably time to go - Stan was more than likely wondering what was taking him so long. He was surprised his phone hadn’t exploded. “Nice seeing you, Tweek.”
“Yeah you too man.” Tweek said, perking up as his name was called from behind the counter. “Oh, that didn’t take too long.”
“Do you usually come to Harbucks? I thought you only drank coffee from your parent’s shop?” Kyle asked.
Tweek grabbed the two drinks, and Kyle wondered if Tweek felt uneven carrying a steaming hot cup in one hand, and a frozen dessert in the other. “We stopped going to my parent’s shop cause they’re total dicks, man.” Tweek drank what looked like half of his coffee in one go, and Kyle raised an eyebrow.
“Hey, settle something for me - do you think this counts as coffee?” Tweek held up the frappuccino.
Kyle looked at the frozen drink and then back at Tweek’s surprisingly serious stare.
“Please agree with me.” Tweek said.
Kyle subconsciously squeezed his cup tighter. “I mean, that has a bunch of sugar. Does it even have any coffee in it at all?”
Tweek smiled. “No! It doesn’t!” He laughed. “Oh he’s gunna fucking roll his eyes so hard when I tell him once again he’s wrong. Thanks, Kyle.”
Kyle watched as Tweek backed into the door to open it and slipped through to the other side while expertly carrying both drinks. Kyle just stood there and watched the door close, a perplexed look on his face.
Odd.
***
He was greeted by Wendy when he got to his destination; he was on the receiving end of a smile and a hug before he even stepped through the door. He returned her hug with one hand, dragging his bag in the other.
“Hey Kyle, good to see you.” Wendy said, closing the door behind them. “STAN! KYLE IS HERE!” She shouted up the stairs.
“Yeah yeah! I heard him come in!” Kyle heard a voice from upstairs.
He set his bag down at the foot of the stairs and shouted up. “Aren’t you gunna come say hi?”
“Dude! We’re in the middle of a game!”
Wendy stood next to Kyle, crossing her arms and rolling her eyes. “They’ve been playing this game all day.” She shrugged. “Why don’t you go on up, and I’ll take your stuff to the guest room in the basement.”
“Oh, okay.” Kyle said. “Thanks.” He started walking up the stairs and the closer he got to the top, the louder the sounds were coming from the room at the end of the hall.
“You little asshole! I’m gunna get you for that!”
“Mom! Dad called me an asshole!”
“Shh! Shut up, kid! You’re gunna get me in trouble!”
Kyle leaned against the doorway, watching as Stan and his son, Billy, were sitting on the floor playing PS4. It was some game that Kyle didn’t recognize, but it looked like your typical first person shooter. “Hey guys.”
“Uncle Kyle!” Billy dropped the controller and stood up, running to Kyle and giving him a hug around his waist.
“Ha! That just cost you the game!” Stan said.
“How are you doing, kid? Getting good grades?” Kyle asked.
Billy nodded. “Yeah, for the most part.”
“Such a nerd, asking about his grades.” Stan said. “Billy also plays little league - he’s gunna be a star baseball player!”
“You hated little league.” Kyle said. “We all did, don’t you remember?”
“Yeah, but Billy seems to like it.” Stan laughed. He shut off the PS4 and put away the controllers. “Who knows, maybe he’ll be a star athlete some day and make millions.”
“Uh huh.”
“Billy! Come down here and clean up this mess you made!” Wendy shouted from downstairs.
“Aww man.” Billy said.
“You heard your mother - move it.” Stan said.
“Whatever!” Billy walked around Kyle. “Just when Uncle Kyle got here too!”
“Kids, man.” Stan said, motioning for Kyle to follow him out of the room. They walked downstairs and took a seat on the couch, watching as Billy started to pick up all the school stuff he left strewn about on the dining room table. “How was your trip?”
“Boring.” Kyle said. “I sat next to the most obnoxious person on the way over here - wouldn’t stop talking about politics this and the election that. I couldn’t stand it.”
Stan leaned back on his side of the couch, turning slightly to face Kyle. “Yeah, tell me about it. I try to avoid that stuff at all possible.” He chuckled to himself. “My fucking dad won’t shut up about it.”
“Ugh.” Kyle said. “I haven’t logged in to social media in years because of this.”
“So, what’s been going on?” Stan asked. “Hey, kid, can you bring me a beer?”
Billy sighed, dropping the stuff he was cleaning up back onto the table. He rolled his eyes as he walked into the kitchen, returning with a beer in his hand.
“Thanks,” Stan said, popping open the top and taking a sip. “Oh shit, Kyle, do you want one?”
Kyle shook his head. “Nah, man. I don’t drink.”
“Oh, that’s right.” Stan said, watching Billy go back to cleaning up his stuff. “You know, you should get one of these.”
“A beer? Why do I need that?” Kyle asked.
“No!” Stan sighed. “A kid! We should be raising our kids together!”
Kyle waved him off. “I’m too busy for that.”
“You always say that!” Stan said.
“Cause it’s true . Some of us have demanding jobs, Stan.” Kyle said. “We can’t all work our nine to five and then go home. I was lucky I could get away for long enough for this vacation.”
Kyle crossed his legs, leaning back onto his corner of the couch as well and looked over at Stan. “Besides, it’s not like I have anyone to have kids with anyway.”
“That’s cause you don’t put yourself out there.” Stan said. “You gotta actually attempt to meet people. You just stay cooped up in your house or your office. How are you supposed to find anyone that way?”
Kyle frowned. Stan was right. He did spend most of his time at work or at home. It had been so long, he couldn’t even remember the last person he went out on a date with. Dating just...didn’t interest him as much as he thought it should have.
Wendy came walking out of the kitchen. “Stan - did you go to the store yet and pick up what I asked you to pick up for dinner?”
“The store? You asked me to go to the store?”
“Yes! Hours ago! Remember? We were talking about how we hadn’t been to the store in a while, and I asked you to go pick up something for dinner? You said ‘sure sure, I’ll go after this level’.”
Stan scratched the back of his head. “Oh...uh...that does sound like me.”
“Get moving!”
“Okay okay!” Stan set his beer down on the side table as Wendy walked out of the room. “Anyways - you’ll find someone if you just put yourself out there.”
Kyle stood up. “You want me to come with you?”
“Yeah sure. We can think about what we want to eat.” Stan grabbed his jacket off the hook by the door.
***
Kyle wasn’t sure if he was cut out for “domestic life” with a partner. He enjoyed time to himself far too much, and he knew that by inviting someone to live with him, he would lose some of that free time. And that independence.
It was part of the reason he was sure he didn’t want to have kids either. Something about having someone that dependent on him - someone that needed attention from him constantly - just made him feel stressed. It’s not like he didn’t like kids, though. He loved Billy. But when it came to having his own kids...well…
Let’s just say that whenever he watched Billy, he was glad he could always send him back.
Stan and Kyle made their way into the grocery store, with Stan grabbing a cart and pushing it along as they walked together. The store was exactly how Kyle remembered it from the last time he came to visit South Park, so he knew the layout like the back of his hand.
"Well…" Stan said. "As the guest...what do you want for dinner?"
Kyle laughed. "Since when have I ever really been the guest, dude?"
"You're the guest according to Wendy." Stan said. "I had to clean the entire house from top to bottom just to get ready for you, otherwise she wouldn't stop yelling at me."
Kyle frowned.
He didn't talk about it much to Stan, but he often thought about Stan and Wendy's relationship and then their subsequent marriage. Kyle was the best man, after all, and he remembered how happy they seemed at their wedding. But behind the scenes, he knew they fought all the time. He questioned it once, to which Stan replied "That's just how relationships are, dude."
He thought about that for years, and he had to agree with Stan. He remembered his parents being exactly like that growing up. He remembered Stan’s parents especially.
That’s just how relationships are, dude. This was probably why he hadn’t really pursued a relationship with anyone. Who would subject themselves to that, day in and day out?
“Wendy wanted some kind of bread.” Stan said, pulling out his phone, and tapping on it aggressively. “I never remember the brand she eats.”
Kyle chuckled. “I remember, let me go get it.” He said, walking away from Stan and heading towards the bread aisle.
“Thanks!” Stan yelled.
Kyle held up a hand, waving back at Stan as he turned the corner to the bread aisle. He got about halfway down the aisle when he noticed someone standing in the center of the walkway, staring at the wall of bread.
“Tweek?” Kyle asked.
“Kyle?” Tweek looked at him. “Running into you again, I see.”
Kyle walked around Tweek, reaching up and grabbing the bread he was looking for. He could feel Tweek’s eyes on him as he held the bread in his hands. “Hey! We get that same kind.” Tweek pointed at the loaf in his cart.
“Oh...I’m just getting it for Wendy.” Kyle said.
“Wendy?” Tweek asked. “Oh, right. That’s right. How is Wendy? And Stan? I’ve seen them around a few times but haven’t talked with them much.”
“They’re good.” Kyle said, tossing the bread back and forth between his hands. “I’m staying with them for the week. Took a vacation.”
“Oh, I see.” Tweek said. “I wish we could take vacations. But we’re always just so busy all the damn time. I’m surprised I even get time to even come shopping.” He pulled his phone out of his pocket. “Oh, really now?”
Kyle furrowed his eyebrows. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah.” Tweek said, laughing to himself. “You know, I asked him if he added everything to the list and he insisted there was nothing else he needed.” He started typing on his phone. “You are ridiculous.” He read out loud as he typed.
“Okay,” Kyle said, stopping the loaf of bread as it landed in his left hand. He watched as Tweek continued to type, rather aggressively - he might add. Kyle’s eyes were once again drawn to the wedding ring on Tweek’s left hand. A simple silver band - nothing fancy or pretentious.
“Tweek - “ Kyle started, but was interrupted by Tweek’s phone ringing.
“Ah! Didn’t you understand my text!” Tweek said as he answered his phone without so much as a ‘hello’. “Yeah yeah, I’m getting it.” Tweek looked at Kyle, pulling the phone away from his face. “Oh sorry. It was nice seeing you again!”
“Yeah...you too.” Kyle said as Tweek turned his cart around and walked to the end of the aisle, turning the corner, and disappearing from Kyle’s vision.
Kyle stood there, bread still in his hands, and his lips pursed together into a flat line. Another odd interaction, Kyle thought. He shrugged, turning around and walking the opposite way down the aisle to go find Stan.
They paid for the rest of their groceries and headed out to the car. As they were loading the trunk, Kyle looked around the parking lot, trying to see if there was that familiar head of blonde hair anywhere.
“Looking for something?” Stan asked.
Kyle shook his head. “No.”
The two headed back home to get dinner started.
***
Stan and Kyle sat in the backyard, watching as the fire pit lit up their faces. It was a cool, dark night in South Park; similar to most nights Kyle remembered. Kyle watched the flames dance around; he could feel the heat on his face, and smell the smoke in the air. Stan took another sip of beer, and Kyle held his coffee in both hands.
“I ran into Tweek today.” Kyle said.
“Oh?” Stan asked, leaning forward in his seat. “Yeah, how’s he doing?”
“He seems okay.” Kyle said. “I haven’t seen him since high school, but he seems...I don’t know….is calmer the right word? He’s not twitching all the time.”
Stan rubbed his chin in thought. “You know, you might be right. I’ve seen him around a few times, struck up a conversation with him and Craig. Things seem like they’re alright.”
“Craig?” Kyle asked.
“Yeah dude.” Stan said. “Craig didn’t say much, he just kinda looked at me with this annoyed stare. Guy’s got the angry bitch face down pretty good.”
“Why was Craig with him?”
Stan laughed. “Dude, you have to get your social media back. They’re married. ”
Kyle nerely dropped his coffee. “ What!? ”
“You really didn’t know?” Stan asked. “They’ve been together forever!”
“Well, yeah, I mean,” Kyle started. “I know they were together through high school. But they’re still together?”
“Yeah.”
Kyle sat back in his seat. “Wow.” Honestly, he wasn’t sure why he was so surprised. The two of them were inseparable when they were in school. It shouldn’t shock him that they stayed together.
Maybe it’s because he thought that high school sweethearts were a more rare occasion. First Stan and Wendy, now Tweek and Craig? He took a sip of his coffee, letting the hot liquid sit in his mouth for a minute before swallowing it slowly.
“What do you think Tweek sees in Craig?” Stan asked, tossing another log into the fire. The flames shot up for a split second before settling back down to a normal level. “I mean, Tweek seems like a more normal guy. But Craig? That guy is just angry all the time.”
Kyle thought back to the number of middle fingers he had been on the receiving end of in the past and laughed. “Yeah, you’re right.” He laughed.
“He’s always looking like he wants to kill me.” Stan said. “I waved at Tweek once, and Craig just stood behind him with that look I was telling you about.” Stan shivered. “Scary.”
“Yeah…” Kyle said. “What do you think their relationship is like?”
Stan shrugged. “If Tweek is anything like Wendy, then I might actually have to empathize with Craig.” He laughed. “Imagine that.”
“You think Tweek’s like Wendy?”
“Well I mean....” Stan began. “Doesn’t one of them have to be the girl? Like...you know what I mean.”
Kyle rolled his eyes. “Dude, really?”
“What!? Do you really think Craig is the girl?” Stan said. “I don’t think so.”
Kyle sighed. “That’s not what I meant.” He pulled out his phone, navigating to his social media. He had to enter his login information, and he nearly needed to do a password reset. He really didn’t know how long it had been since he last logged on, but he still somehow remembered everything.
He ignored the thousands of notifications that were flashing at him and went to his friends page. Wait...was he friends with Tweek? He instead searched for Tweek’s name on the site, but he came up empty handed.
Stan leaned over, peering over Kyle’s shoulder. “You have to search for Tweek Tucker.”
“Oh." Kyle said, pressing the backspace a few times and adjusting his search. This time, Tweek immediately came up, and Kyle pressed on his picture. His profile was pretty basic - his main picture just him and Craig sitting on a park bench at where Kyle guessed was Stark’s Pond. Tweek had a bright smile on his face, and Craig just stared at the camera.
“You’re right about that resting bitch face.” Kyle said, laughing and turning the phone to show Stan. Stan nearly choked on his beer, and Kyle turned the phone back to him.
“His profile isn’t very open.” Kyle said. “Not much on here.”
“Yeah he doesn’t post much.” Stan said.
Kyle navigated to the section of Tweek’s profile where it said “Married to Craig Tucker”. He clicked on Craig’s profile and found a picture of a guinea pig instead of Craig. The rest of the profile was completely locked down - no other photos or posts visible.
Stan was still leaning over. “Yeah he doesn’t post at all .”
Kyle tilted his head sideways, staring at the guinea pig profile picture. He didn’t know why their relationship was suddenly so...fascinating to him. He just wanted to know more.
“Did you go to their wedding?” Kyle asked.
“Nope.” Stan said. “You think Craig would invite me?”
“Yeah but what about Tweek?” Kyle asked. “We were all friends at one point.”
“That was like… a billion years ago, dude.” Stan said, standing up. He brushed his pants off, careful not to drop his nearly empty can. “Like I said, I barely talk to the guy. But from what I hear, they had a pretty small, low-key wedding.”
“I see,” Kyle stood up, looking at the fire, and then back down to his phone before pocketing it and walking with Stan into the house.
***
Kyle sat outside of the restaurant, checking his phone every few minutes as he waited for Stan and Wendy. He had just finished visiting with his parents, and he was meeting the couple and Billy for dinner. The place was not very busy, but he opted to sit outside anyway. He shivered a bit and tightened his jacket around himself.
What was taking them so long? He looked at his phone again. It was almost six fifteen. They were supposed to meet at six. He shot off another text asking how long it would be, and crossed his arms.
“Yeah, remember? This was the place where Clyde tripped on himself as he tried to get that waitresses’ phone number.”
Kyle perked up, looking for the source of the voice. He watched as Tweek and Craig approached the front of the restaurant and he stood up.
“I don’t think he ever lived that one down--oh! Kyle!” Tweek said. He waved. “I can’t seem to avoid you, can I?”
Kyle waved back. “No, it doesn’t seem like it.” He looked over at Craig - the man’s intense gaze staring back at him. Craig wasn’t much taller than he was. He might have guessed he was around six two, but Kyle was six foot, so he wasn’t intimidated. “Hey, Craig. Long time no see.”
“I suppose.” He said. Kyle noticed a matching silver band on Craig’s left hand as well.
“You on your way out?” Tweek asked. “Is there a long wait?”
“No.” Kyle said. “I’m just waiting for Stan and Wendy.” As if on cue, his phone went off. It was a text from Wendy.
Sorry, Kyle! Billy is sick, and we won’t be able to make it tonight. We’ll see you back at home!
Great . Kyle thought. What a waste of time . He sighed. “Well, looks like I am on my way out. They just cancelled on me.”
“Oh.” Tweek said. “Well, why don’t you join us?”
Craig glanced over at Tweek, and Tweek seemed to ignore him.
“Oh...well…” Kyle said. Why did this feel so awkward? Tweek and Craig were his friends, afterall. Just because they hadn’t seen each other in several years didn’t mean that should change.
Right?
“Well?” Craig asked.
Kyle looked between the two of them, seeing Craig’s arm around Tweek’s waist for the first time, and Tweek’s slight lean to his left as he pressed up gently to Craig’s side.
The pose took him back a little. He hadn’t seen Stan and Wendy stand like this in a long time.
“Alright,” Kyle said. “As long as I’m not a third wheel.”
***
Kyle sat opposite of Tweek and Craig in the booth, and he peered over his menu at them. The two of them seemed engrossed in their own thoughts as they looked at their own menus. Kyle didn’t know if he wanted to eat the spaghetti or just have a salad. He should’ve been looking at the menu as he waited for Stan and Wendy.
“You got the steak last time.” Tweek said, pointing at the menu. “You hated it, remember?”
“Yeah, I remember.” Craig said. “I remember saying we weren’t going to come back here again too. But here we are.”
“You always say that.” Tweek said. He pointed at a space in the center of the room. “That’s where Clyde fell, remember?”
“Oh yes. I think I still have a picture somewhere.”
Kyle raised an eyebrow at the interaction.
“So Kyle,” Tweek said, taking the wrapping off part of his straw and blowing the end of it off at Craig before putting it into his water. “You said you were visiting? Where did you end up after school?”
Craig threw the straw wrapper back at Tweek as Kyle answered. “I moved to Jersey and stayed with my family. I actually work for a law firm there.”
“Oh, that’s cool.” Tweek said. “I bet you get paid the big bucks, huh?”
Kyle laughed. “It’s not a terrible gig I suppose. I’m very busy though.”
Craig reached over and grabbed Tweek’s water, taking a drink for himself as Tweek continued to read the menu. “I bet you make over six figures.”
“Craig! That’s not something you’re supposed to talk about.” Tweek said, nudging him in the side.
“I bet it’s true though.”
Kyle merely watched their interaction again. Craig was still drinking from Tweek’s water, and Tweek was giving Craig an elbow. It gave Kyle feelings of high school nostalgia - even though he was thirty two years old.
“What about you guys?” He asked. “I saw you at Harbucks the other day. Are you working at your parent's coffee shop still?”
“Hell no!” Tweek shouted. “I left that shop after college and I’m never turning back. I can’t handle that nonsense.”
“You’re damn right, babe.” Craig said.
Kyle raised another eyebrow at Craig, taking note of the pet name. “Okay...so what do you do?”
“I just work at a call center.” Tweek said. “Pretty boring but pays okay and has good benefits. Craig works for the same company but in a different department.”
“He messages me all the time,” Craig says.
“I do not!” Tweek said. “Only like, once a day.”
“ At least sixteen times.” Craig said. “I made an excel sheet and charted it out over a thirty day period. You average at least sixteen pings a day.”
“Shut the fuck up!”
The waiter came to the table and took their orders. Kyle decided to get the salad and Tweek ordered two dishes for both him and Craig. Craig set his water cup to the edge of the table but didn’t say anything as the waiter took the cup and walked away.
“So you guys are married, huh?” Kyle asked.
Tweek nodded, twisting the ring on his finger. “What’s it been now, seven years?”
“Seven years, two months, and three days.” Craig said, nodding at the waiter as he brought back his water cup.
“But he’s not counting.”
Craig rolled his eyes and drank his water.
“Wow,” Kyle said. “That’s pretty impressive.”
“We’ve been together since we were ten, I would say that’s much more impressive.” Craig said.
“Stan and Wendy have been together that long.” Kyle pointed out. He watched as Craig’s face turned to a glare. “I think they’ve been together since they were eight.”
“They don’t count.” Craig said.
“Why’s that?”
“They broke up a bunch.” Craig responded. “We haven’t done that.”
“Oh come on, don’t you remember, Super Craig ? We had a whole counselling session because of our break up.” Tweek said.
“Yeah, but that was when we were ten . My point still stands, honey.”
Again with the pet names. Kyle leaned forward and put his head on his hand, resting his elbow on the table. He remembered the last time he was sitting in this very restaurant, across from Stan and Wendy. The two of them were definitely a married couple, but Tweek and Craig seemed...he couldn't put his finger on it.
What was it about these guys that was so different?
Was it because Craig was not as scary as Stan made him out to be? Well, he still had that stoic look on his face whenever Kyle looked over at him, but there was something in his gaze as Craig glanced at Tweek.
Was it because Tweek seemed less nervous and twitchy than he remembered him being?
Was it because they were all grown up? A lot of time had passed since he was last in South Park, but even longer since he had run into these two. Was he just feeling the passage of time?
Kyle rubbed his eyes a bit. They weren’t that old.
“So what do you plan on doing while you’re in town?” Tweek asked, leaning against Craig who put his arm around his shoulders.
“Not much. Just catching up with family and friends.” Kyle said. “I guess having dinner with you guys now.”
Tweek laughed. “Yeah I suppose so.”
The waiter came by with their food, and the table fell into what Kyle felt was an uncomfortable silence. He wasn’t sure why he felt uncomfortable, or why he felt even at all awkward around the two of them. These were people he had been friends with for years. Why was he feeling so out of place?
He took a bite of his salad, crunching on a crouton as he still leaned on his hand with his elbow on the table. He watched Tweek as he picked up a few things off Craig’s plate, and vice versa, without any retaliation from the other.
He remembered Stan doing this to Wendy, and she slapped his hand and told him to order his own food.
Kyle narrowed his eyebrows. He couldn’t help but start to draw some parallels and opposites between Stan and Wendy with Tweek and Craig. Both couples had been together for so long, and yet, Kyle felt like they were vastly different.
For example - the first thing that Kyle was noticing was how close Tweek and Craig sat next to each other. They were practically bumping into each other as they ate, and yet, they were moving in some kind of harmony to where they didn’t actually hit each other.
The next thing he noticed was obviously the sharing of food.
One of the things that really got him was how they would use the word “we”. He noticed this as he was talking with Tweek at Harbucks and at the grocery store. At first, he didn’t really understand it. He knew that Tweek was referring to someone else; Kyle knew he wasn’t that crazy of a guy, even with a lot of his crazy quirks from school. And he figured it was a spouse since he saw the wedding ring. But Craig ?
And Tweek wasn’t alone. Craig used the word “we” just as often as Tweek did. It seemed as if their entire vocabulary changed.
Kyle continued to watch as Craig grabbed a french fry off of Tweek’s plate, and Tweek merely drank from his water.
In his experiences with Stan and Wendy, they would be heckling each other - if they even tried to share food like this in the first place. Stan may use the term “we” at times, but it didn’t seem like his overall vocabulary had updated. It was Stan and it was Wendy.
This was Tweek and Craig.
“So, how is married life treating you guys?” Kyle found himself asking, without even realizing it.
Craig just kind of looked at him, one hand still reaching over to Tweek’s plate. Tweek, on the other hand, smiled and replied to Kyle: “It’s great, actually. We’re doing pretty well if you ask me.”
Craig didn’t say anything.
“Did you guys find it difficult to move in together?” Kyle asked. “Was it hard having someone in your space all the time?”
“Well, we’ve been together for so long,” Tweek said. “At this point I’m pretty sure life wouldn’t make any sense if this guy wasn’t around.” He poked Craig on the shoulder. “I don’t even remember what life was like before we were together.”
“Hmm…” Kyle said. “I guess that’s true. You’ve been together more than you’ve been not together.”
“Why are you asking?” Craig asked.
Kyle set his fork down and took a drink from his own beverage. “I don’t know. I guess I’m just interested in people who can share a life with someone else.” He took a deep breath and nearly sighed, but held it in.
“You know Stan and Wendy.” Craig said. “Don’t you talk about this with them?”
“Craig…” Tweek rolled his eyes.
“What.” Craig responded.
“It’s okay, Kyle. We can answer your questions. Don’t mind him.” Tweek poked Craig again, this time in the cheek, and Craig slapped his hand away, turning his face to avoid Tweek’s gaze. “He’s just a big softie and doesn’t want you to know it.”
“Honey…”
“You know I’m right.”
Well, this was…something else. “A big softie, huh?” Kyle laughed. “You, Craig?”
“Shut the fuck up.” Craig flipped him off.
“I would never have guessed.” Kyle smirked. “Stan seems to think you’re some big scary guy.”
Craig crossed his arms. “Stan Marsh is a fucking idiot.”
Tweek chuckled. “You know, I should talk to Wendy and see if we can figure out what your deal is with each other. One day maybe we can do some double dates - you know, talk with other married couples. ”
“We talk with Token and his wife.” Craig retorted.
“They live in another state!” Tweek exclaimed.
They continued to eat their dinner and passed on dessert at the end of the night. When the bill came, Kyle pulled out his card, but Tweek held his hand forward, shaking his head as Craig stole the bill. Craig stuffed a card into it and handed it back to the waiter before Kyle could say anything to stop it. When he thanked them, Tweek waved his hand and made a comment about the DINK acronym, and Craig just nodded.
They walked outside and stood at the curb to the parking lot.
“Hey, thanks for dinner.” Kyle said. “You guys didn’t have to do that.”
“No worries, it was nice to see you again.” Tweek said, holding Craig’s hand in his. “Maybe we’ll run into each other again in the future, next time you’re in town.”
“Yeah, that sounds good.” Kyle said.
“Have a good night!” Tweek pulled on Craig’s hand, walking them in the direction of their car,
Kyle turned on his heel and headed the opposite direction, his mind lost in thought to the whole evening.
That's just how relationships are, dude. Stan's words rang in his head again. Kyle pulled out his keys from his pocket. But this one was a lot different from the others that he had witnessed in the past. They were different from his parents, Stan’s parents, and especially Stan and Wendy.
Over the many years, Kyle had always wondered what the ideal relationship would be, and he wasn’t sure that one would ever exist. But now, he thought, now it might be possible.
He walked around the parking lot aimlessly, forgetting where he had parked. He walked in a circle a few times, passing by several plain black or plain white generic looking cars that all resembled his rental car just enough to get him lost. As he went to maneuver around a large SUV, he heard voices, and stopped.
“I think that went well, what do you think?”
“I would say so.”
Was that? Kyle peered out around the SUV as he searched for the owners of the voices. Yup, he was right.
“Kyle’s a nice guy. I wonder why he’s still single?” Tweek asked, his arms around Craig’s shoulders as he stared into Craig’s eyes.
“I’m not sure.” Craig responded. “Maybe he just hasn’t found the right person like I have.”
Kyle’s eyes widened. Fucking Craig ? He shook his head a few times, putting a finger in his ear to see if his hearing was working.
“Oh? You think you’ve found the right person, huh?” Tweek leaned forward, putting his forehead on Craig’s. “Well what if I told you that I found the right person?”
“Then I’d say we’re both pretty damn lucky.” Craig said. “I know I am.”
Kyle felt his face warming up. He was definitely intruding on a private moment. But for some reason, he couldn’t turn away.
Tweek was right, after all. Looks like Craig was a softie the entire time.
“Well, I know I am lucky.” Tweek said, pressing himself up against Craig as Craig tightened his grip on Tweek’s waist. “And you think you’re gunna get lucky?”
Craig closed his eyes for a second, then opened them and stared at Tweek. “Oh I hope so.”
“Paying for the whole bill was pretty damn sexy.” Tweek leaned into Craig’s ear. Kyle couldn’t hear what Tweek said, but he watched as the two started kissing, with Tweek pushing Craig against the side of their car.
Kyle knew his face was red now. He turned away from the scene and started walking in the opposite direction. Nope nope nope. After another minute, he finally found his car, and he unlocked it as fast as he could, sitting down in the driver’s seat and slamming the door shut.
What the heck was that?
He put the keys in the ignition, but he didn’t start the car. The image of Tweek and Craig still in his mind. He knew it was nothing that he should be embarrassed by - far from it! They two of them were married . They had been together forever.
But the way they spoke to each other. It was an amplified version of how they were talking to each other in the restaurant.
Kyle couldn't put his finger on it. There was something about the way they interacted - the way that they just fit together like puzzle pieces. It was so intimate, so casual, yet so…
Perfect .
He groaned. He felt like one of those asian girls from fourth grade who were obsessed with the two of them. They must have seen this connection back then, even though he couldn’t see it. Was he some kind of weird voyeur creep now? Should he start drawing yaoi?
No. It wasn’t that he was attracted to them. He didn’t want to watch.
He was...envious?
Was this the kind of relationship he wanted?
And that’s when it clicked. Kyle sat up straight.
He was so intrigued by them because their relationship was exactly the kind of relationship he wanted. Someone who just completely understood him in a way that no one else could. Someone who would accept him for everything that he was, and not wonder about the things he was not. Someone who he could look at and who would look at him with the same look in their eyes that Tweek and Craig gave to each other.
And he knew - he knew - that kind of love was rare.
But it made it all that more special.
What an odd turn of events this vacation had been. But he wasn’t complaining. That warmth in his face spread to his chest, and he smiled to himself. He pulled out his phone, pressing a few buttons before coming in contact with Tweek’s profile again, and he smiled again as he hit the “Request Friend” button.
Maybe he needed to keep in contact with some old friends.
After all - it seemed like he had much to learn from them.