Work Text:
"Quit looking at me like that." Nix laughs as he pushes the front door of his house open.
Despite the fact that he's Nix's only regular guest, Dick still hesitates on the threshold for a moment before he steps in. As if Nix would leave him to walk home alone on Christmas Eve. "Like what?"
"Like you swallowed a lemon." Nix says and nudges Dick's shoulder. He turns the lights on in the living room.
"I'm sorry." Dick replies automatically, but he has the same mix of pity and disappointment on his face that he's been wearing all night. Stanhope tends to have that effect on people.
There's nothing to pity about Nix though - now that the family Christmas soirée is out of the way, he's free to enjoy the rest of the holidays without his father's oppressive presence. He's happy as can be. He hasn't even drunk that much because he wanted to please Dick.
"Forget him." Nix smiles and turns on the radio, loosening his bowtie. "Time to celebrate."
Dick drops down on the sofa and drapes his left arm over the backrest, closing his eyes. He must have taken Nix's words to heart, because his expression turns serene. His white shirt fits him perfectly, stretching across his chest and hugging his waist. If you were to ask Nix, he'd say that in these clothes, Dick looks like a movie star who has just left a lavish party. As he keeps staring at the collar bracketing Dick's pale neck, he has to run a hand through his hair to keep from tearing that goddamn shirt open right then and there. That would be a huge mistake. Dick is too skittish for such an impatient approach. Nix needs to exert some self-control for once in his life.
He sits in the space offered by the curve of Dick's arm and cups his palm around Dick's nape to pull him into a kiss. Dick doesn't even open his eyes. Under Nix's exploring touch, his soft lips part without hesitation. When he's content, he gets pliant like this and lets Nix have his fill, lets him lick into Dick's mouth and take what he wants. It’s always exquisite.
They’ve been doing this since OCS, on and off, but only in the past few months have they been able to show unrestrained enthusiasm. Before, during the war, they didn’t cross this line nearly often enough. They both knew that Dick needed to believe in his own competence as a leader, and fraternization would have just pushed a torrent of guilt and doubt on his back. So, usually, they kept their distance and Nix, well… He did his best to respect that and drank a lot. Thankfully, since Dick moved to New Jersey with him, Vat 69 has lost some of its importance and things are starting to look brighter.
“Okay?” He asks when his hands trail down to Dick’s waist and untuck that stupidly perfect shirt. It will be a delight to see the crisscrossing creases on it in the morning.
“Yes.” Dick sighs into the next kiss and slides his arm off the couch to wrap it around Nix’s torso. The back of his right hand caresses Nix’s cheek. “Can I kiss your neck?”
To his credit, Nix refrains from laughing. This happens every now and then, when the circumstances make things feel like uncharted territory for Dick. Today, it must be the intimacy. The gentleness of the light as it bounces off the Christmas decoration, the slow music, or the fact that Dick knows he’s going to sleep here tonight and will introduce Nix to his parents tomorrow. They’re taking a big step. As close to making it official as they can get. Nix is tempted to look at it as an engagement, but somehow, it’s both more and less.
"Of course."
As they move down to Nix's neck, Dick's lips feel like the light caress of a silk tie, barely any pressure and a hot puff of air. Nix tilts his head and hums in encouragement. Dick stops above his collar and makes his way back up to the sensitive spot under Nix's jaw, gaining confidence and opening up to mouth at Nix's five o'clock shadow. Every time he breathes out before a kiss, Nix sinks deeper into the pool of desire Dick pushed him in. He tugs on Dick's hair and moans when Dick palms his thigh in response.
"Is this alright?" Dick kisses into his throat.
Nix does chuckle this time. “For Christ's sake, Dick, you can do anything you want.” He replies, hoping for a little tentative flirting. What he gets instead makes him cough in surprise.
“In that case," Dick says in a carefully neutral voice. "I would like to see your bedroom.”
This is a gamble they can still back out of, Nix realizes, and a warm sensation settles in his chest. He presses a closed-mouthed kiss to Dick’s lips, then takes his hand.
“Your wish is my command, darling.”
Dick blushes. He isn’t used to the endearment yet, so Nix gets to enjoy his reaction every single time it rolls off his tongue. If he could, he would capture it with a camera.
They’ve made it halfway up the stairs when Dick stops and glances back. “The radio.”
Nix groans. If it were up to him, he’d leave it as it is until the morning, but for the things he hopes to do tonight, Dick needs to relax. Leaving an unfinished task would undoubtedly ruin his mood.
Nix strokes Dick’s arms and gives him a push on the back. “Go ahead, I’ll take care of it.”
He goes back downstairs and turns it off. As the warm silence replaces the music, Nix takes a deep breath and checks if the front door is locked. With a little luck, they won't leave his room until dawn. He's surprised to find his limbs shaking from having the jitters. What's waiting for him upstairs? Somehow, he doubts that Dick would be forward enough to undress in advance. What if he changed his mind when the haze of arousal cleared up a little?
"Only one way to find out." He mutters to himself and starts up the stairs.
Dick is sitting on one corner of the bed when he enters his room. He’s fiddling with his cufflinks, and his shoulders are tense from anticipation. He looks gorgeous like this - still as proper as any gentleman, but with an edge of messiness that suggests that he can be unraveled like a skein of yarn. Their make out session left him a little undone. He’s nervous, that much is clear from the blank look on his face, but he holds Nix’s gaze when Nix steps between his legs and grabs one of his wrists to undo the cuff.
“So, do you like the decor?”
Dick nods, looks around, then breaks into one of those barely visible smiles of his. “It still amazes me that you chose to stay in our foxhole instead of coming home to this.”
Nix finishes the other sleeve, then kisses Dick’s palm. It still has some calluses on it from the war. “Someone had to make sure you didn’t turn into an icicle.”
Dick stands up and raises his fingers to Nix’s cheeks. They’re so close that his breaths brush Nix’s skin. “I’m glad you stayed with me, Lew.”
The next kiss is deeper than the ones they’ve shared on the couch. It's slow, but something about being allowed in Nix's room must have given Dick some courage because he starts leading instead of just copying whatever Nix is in the mood for. Although he keeps his hands on Nix’s face, he doesn’t shy away when Nix works the buttons of his shirt through their holes.
The garment drops on the floor with a quiet whoosh, and Nix’s follows soon. Dick makes an involuntary sound of protest when Nix steps away to get rid of their undershirts and he’s on Nix the second the fabric is out of the way. He’s hot to the touch and is starting to sweat under Nix’s questing hands, gasping through his nose when Nix maps out the plane of his stomach, the grooves of his abs.
“I’m on a reconnaissance mission.” Nix grins up at Dick playfully and circles a pink nipple with his right thumb, then slips the touch down to trace the bottom curve of Dick's pecs. He sticks the fingertips of his left hand just under Dick’s waistband, touching coarse hair. God, if Dick lets him do it tonight…
Dick clears his throat. “Reconnaissance?” His palms run up and down Nix’s naked back. He seems unsure of how to proceed.
“Hm-mm.” Nix hums. Christ, those freckles on Dick's chest… He wants to trace them with his fingers and then follow the trail with his tongue. “For optimal performance, I need to know - every - single - spot of the terrain.”
He punctuates some of his words by kissing a path down Dick’s neck. When he feels Dick shudder, he bites him. It won't leave a mark, but just the thought is enough to make his stomach flip. He’s rewarded by a moan that vibrates under his lips.
"I hope you want the top bunk." He murmurs into Dick’s ear while combing a hand through his beautiful red hair. There’s no answer though - Dick freezes. "What? Cat got your tongue?"
"Nix." Dick’s exhales shake and his stomach tenses under Nix's hand. He sounds so young and lost that Nix’s heart aches. "I don't know how."
Nix pulls back and searches Dick’s face. Did he hear that right? No way. He knows that Dick is a bit shy, but he couldn't have made it through the war without ever… Could he? Jesus.
"Never?” Nix breaks the silence eventually, pulse racing. “But in Aldbourne -"
Dick shakes his head, looking torn between utter embarrassment and pride. What a strange combination of issues, even to Nix’s standards. But his hands are still on Nix’s back. Moreover, they inch towards his ass, which must be a good sign, right?
"Did you want to wait until your wedding night?"
Dick glances down at the hand still hooked in his trousers. "Yes. But I don't think I'll have one of those after all."
They spend several moments just staring into each other’s eyes, trying to communicate the implications of that confession without having to say them out loud. It's too depressing to think about the future in that context. Two men will never be able to exchange vows at the altar. Better forget it altogether.
"Well, then you're in for a top-class lesson, my friend." Nix grins at last and slides Dick’s belt out of its buckle.
"Don't tease." Dick huffs. His zipper sounds loud in the silence when Nix pulls it down.
"Oh, I'm completely serious." Dick’s trousers slip down his pale legs.
"Nix." Dick pleads. His shoulders hunch self-consciously for a moment, but he composes himself and straightens up to let Nix look him over in his underwear.
"It's all right.” Nix says, more reassuring this time. He rubs the goosebumps away from Dick's arms. “I got you, Dick."
Undressing before climbing on the mattress seems to make Dick flustered, but Nix prefers it that way, less of a chance to bump elbows and knees while trying to get rid of the rest of their layers. They settle with Nix on his back and Dick above him, between his knees. He’s rock hard and dripping already, as if they have been going at it for hours now, and when Nix touches him for the first time, he whimpers. The dog tags he still wears sway back and forth and brush Nix’s chest.
“Oh my God.” Dick sighs as he watches Nix’s hand move on his cock. It’s probably the closest Nix will get him to swearing, so it’s pretty amazing to see it happen this soon.
Nix can’t remember his first time that well anymore - it was insignificant, and just something fun all ‘cool’ teenagers did. This night is a thousand times more meaningful for Dick. It's as much of a sacrifice as a gift, one that Nix's other privileges can never measure up to. He can’t quite imagine what goes on in Dick’s head right now, but what he sees on his face, that rapid play of emotions, is beautiful. He feels blessed. Watching as Dick’s guard crumbles and his always calm demeanour falls apart is delightful.
"You have a beautiful cock." Nix says in his sultriest voice, because the one thing he does remember from his own first time is being dead scared of what the girl thought of his body. Of course, he and Dick have seen each other naked countless times before, but that was nothing compared to this. And he means it too. His feelings might sway his judgement, but he just loves the shape and weight of it in his hand.
Dick laughs, his face lobster red, but his muscles are already a little less rigid a second later. "It's not funny, Nix."
"I'm not joking." Nix smiles. “Hard or gentle?” He tightens his grip to test if Dick likes that better, and he isn’t surprised when Dick sucks in a sharp breath and closes his eyes. Hard it is then.
“I think -" That’s all Dick says at first, then bites his lip. He trembles when Nix twists his hand. “You have to stop now, please.”
“I know. It’s okay.” Nix touches Dick’s hip with his free hand and speeds up. It’s better to get this out of the way first, he figures. “Just trust me.”
No more than five seconds later, Dick drops his forehead to Nix’s shoulder and comes. Although they have the house to themselves, he's quiet about it, probably still trying to control himself the best he can. Well, they'll have to work on that part - there's no need to hide his pleasure.
Nix strokes him through it, keeping one hand on Dick's nape and murmuring encouragement in his ear. “That’s it, darling.”
“I’m sorry.” Dick pants into Nix's neck after the last shudders. He sounds mortified. “It was too good, I couldn't hold myself back.”
It's a lucky thing that Dick can't see the amused smile on Nix's face. “Don’t apologise, this is what I wanted.”
Dick sits back on his haunches and glances at Nix's erection in confusion. His face is on fire, and he looks like he's about to pass out from embarrassment. “What?”
“We’re not stopping here. You'll be ready to go again in a few minutes.” Nix tells him confidently, then gestures at the bedside table. "Come on, give me that Vaseline."
"Do you have a lot of experience in this?" A sad look crosses Dick’s face before he schools his expression back to attentive neutrality. He examines the jar of slick in his hand.
"You know I haven't been a saint." Nix purses his lips. He has never made his debaucherous ways a secret, but he’s not going to detail exactly how many people he's gone through over the years. It doesn’t make this night, his first with Dick, any less meaningful. He has never been in love before, not like this. "It just means I know what I like. I'll show you."
"Can you tell me instead? Before we…" Dick trails off, then steadies his voice again. He puts a hand on Nix's knee and caresses the bones there. "I don't want to disappoint you."
"You’ll make me say it out loud, won’t you?”
“You don’t have to, if it makes you uncomfortable.”
That makes Nix sit up and kiss him hard on the mouth. He runs his palms up from Dick’s shoulders to his jaw, then leans back just enough to look into his eyes. His thumbs are on Dick's cheekbones.
“I want you to prepare me with that -" He taps the Vaseline. "- then we'll lie down just like this and you can take me. If you go slow, it will last longer." The corners of his eyes crinkle as he watches Dick's lips part in astonishment. "Any questions about the mission?"
Another trademark little smile. "It's just reconnaissance, isn't it?"
Nix chuckles and lies back down, pulling Dick with himself. "Exactly. Not rocket science."
They spend a few more minutes kissing away the jitters of that conversation, just licking into each other's mouths and sharing the warmth of their embrace. Nix's stomach is a sticky mess as Dick's abs rub against it, and he can smell Dick's clean, woody scent filling his nose. Dick slips his left palm under him and touches the curve of Nix's ass, just stroking it like he's still waiting for Nix's permission. His other hand finds Nix's cock and traces its length, light as a feather.
Nix puts his feet flat on the bed to roll his hips. He closes his eyes lazily. "You know, you can touch me harder than that."
Dick clears his throat. "I'm sorry that I'm so -"
"Dick, I promise I'll tell you if you screw up, alright?”
“Alright.”
Nix smiles and looks up just in time to catch Dick staring at his own fist as it curls around Nix's cock and gives it a slow stroke. The raw want on his face is the hottest thing Nix has ever seen. It pushes him dangerously close to that twitching, tingling sensation just before the peak, so very close, so sweet… He bites his lip and grabs the Vaseline.
"Scoop some on your fingers." He tells Dick, who directs his undivided focus to the task like he's about to try a textbook’s content in practice. "And now…"
When he circles the wrist of Dick's wet hand and guides it down between his legs, Dick's composure stumbles. He starts blinking so rapidly that it's distracting. To calm him down, Nix touches his cheek and holds his gaze while he bends all but one of Dick's fingers and pushes at it. He's relaxed, so it slips in easily, welcome. They pause for a second.
"Like this?" Dick whispers and moves it in and out. Something about reaching this point seems to have helped him because his free hand stops shaking.
"Yes." Nix hums.
He does a lot of that in the next few minutes. He can't help it - if he knew that it didn't fluster Dick, he would start talking too, but he keeps his dirty thoughts to himself for now. He would rather not spook him by babbling about things he can't even imagine yet. Dick does an incredible job with his hands. It shouldn't be a surprise because this man has never been mediocre at anything in his life, but Nix already knows that his status as self-appointed teacher will be short-lived. Not that he minds. He doesn't mind it at all.
“I think I'm ready." Dick gives Nix a deep kiss, hot and hard against Nix's stomach again. His dog tags jiggle whenever he leans forward, so he takes them off and puts them on the bedside table. "You?"
“Yes.” Nix smiles and reaches down for Dick's cock. God, finally. “Here, I’ll help.”
Overwhelmed by the intensity of the situation, Dick sinks in faster than he means to, and they both grunt. Nix closes his eyes and tries not to squirm from the deep, deep pressure that spears him inside. He strokes Dick's arms until one of them slides around his shoulders. Dick's panting breaths tickle his chin as Dick presses their foreheads together.
“Oh, Lew.” He sighs in awe, then pushes down, trying to get even deeper inside. “Oh.”
In lieu of an answer, Nix captures Dick's lips in a sloppy kiss, but his mouth goes slack when Dick starts thrusting into him, with short, rapid movements at first, then with slower snaps of his hips once he remembers Nix's advice. He uses the arm around Nix's shoulders to hold him in place while his free hand roams across Nix's side and chest. The springs in the mattress creak.
"Does it hurt?" Dick asks in concern when a particularly hard thrust pushes a grunt out of Nix.
"No." Nix smiles, then opens his eyes.
Dick's gaze is dark and his lips are pink and shiny-wet from all the kissing and biting they've been doing. Nix wraps a hand around his own cock and strokes it, aiming for quick release because Dick seems too lost in his pleasure already, he won't last long. Nix's other hand slides down to Dick's ass and feels its strong muscles contract with every push. The familiar tingling bliss spreads through Nix's pelvis.
He hums, and it rumbles in his chest. “Feels good.”
A choked-up noise escapes Dick's throat, and his arousal paints his entire chest pink. Sweat glistens on his temple. “Yeah?”
Nix shudders and squirms, trying to get more contact, just a little bit more. Dick's cock is ramming into his sweet spot and it's so good he can barely stand it. “Yeah."
Dick pulls his bottom lip between his teeth and his rhythm starts to fall apart. "I'm close."
It only takes a few mindless seconds of abandon to get him there. Nix hooks an arm around his neck to pull him into another kiss, just in time to swallow Dick's moans as he comes in a hot rush of pleasure deep inside Nix's ass. He isn't quite there with Dick yet, but he keeps their mouths locked, stretching their kisses until he gets himself off too and makes a mess of their stomachs. Once he lets Dick go, he collapses beside Nix, wet all over and looking thoroughly satisfied, except for the look on his face that melts from happy relief into sadness.
Nix turns to his side and puts his left hand on Dick's ribs. "Are you okay?"
Dick nods, but he curls into Nix's arms and pushes his face against Nix's throat like he's about to cry. At a loss, Nix returns the hug and pats Dick's shoulder awkwardly. "Hey. Dick."
"I just need a moment, Lew." Dick mumbles.
"All right." Nix nuzzles the top of Dick's head. He tries to figure out what's wrong, but he has never been good at comforting others, so he just says the first thing he can think of, the one thought that echoes in his head every time he's with Dick. "I love you."
Dick returns it in a whisper. "I love you."
There's a minute of silence that Nix spends thinking it over. He strokes Dick's back, drawing patterns on his smooth skin along his spine and on his shoulder blades, circles and letters and idle lines. He glances at Dick's dog tags on the bedside table and marvels how similar they are to a rosary, with those little beads that make up the chain. It's only then that he realizes - it's all about Dick's peace with his God. It's all about not waiting for that wedding night.
"There's nothing ungodly in love." He strokes Dick's hair and pulls away to look into his damp eyes. "Nothing. You hear me?"
Dick smiles and wipes his half-formed tears away. "Yes."
"We didn't do anything wrong." Nix says quietly, and sighs when Dick nods. This isn't the end of this problem, he knows. He's sure that the guilt will return. But that's just the way things are. The world is cruel, especially if you’re… different. All you can do is make the best of it.
He draws his index finger down Dick's chest to his stomach and gives him a flirtatious smile. "Now, will you give me a report on that mission?"
Dick laughs, shakes his head, and the blush on his cheeks isn't guilt anymore.
~End~