Work Text:
-
UNKNOWN NUMBER
Unknown : hey, is this Harley Keener?
Harley : Yeah, and who is this, and how do you know my name
Unknown : oh!! im Peter Parker :)
Unknown : im Tony Starks intern. Miss Potts gave me your number bc she said you knew Mister Stark and thought we would get along or smth??
Harley : Proof?
Harley : Or, it would be unfortunate if someone hacked your phone and learned your social security number
Unknown : uhhhh
Unknown : one sec
Unknown : [selfie.png]
Unknown : that’s me btw. and Mister Stark.
Harley : Huh
Harley : Nice to meet you then, Peter
Unknown : so youre not gonna hack my phone?
Harley : Nah, not until you annoy me or something
Unknown : oh man, that wont be long then
-
HARLEY KEENER
Harley : So, how did you end up interning for Tony?
Peter : oh!! i signed up for the September Grant but ig Tony was impressed by my app bc he offered me an intern position
Harley : Bullshit
Peter : uh
Peter : what
Harley : 1) I’ve known Tony since I was like twelve, he is not the type to randomly offer personal internships to kids just bc they’re smart. 2) That is a weak excuse. I can hear you stammering from like, four states over
Peter : how do you know i stammer when i lie?
Harley : You seem like that type of person
Harley : Also, did you just admit you’re lying to me?
Peter : of course not
Harley : I’m gonna find out why you have your internship Parker, just you wait
Peter : theres nothing to find dude!! i told you how i got my internship
Harley : Tonys secret love child??
Peter : NO!!!!!
Harley : I’ll keep digging then. I’ll find out eventually, and that is a threat
-
HARLEY KEENER
Harley : You’re Spiderman, aren’t you?
Peter : haha no im not!!
Peter : i dont even know who Spiderman is. who are you talking about?? lmao
Harley : Uh huh
Peter : fine, i am
Peter : look, dude, you can’t tell anybody. if my identity got out all my friends and family could be danger and i cant let anything happen to them
Harley : Chill
Harley : I kept the fact that Tony crash landed in my garage a secret for like, four years. I’m not going to out you as Spiderman
Peter : thanks. i trust you, weirdly enough
Peter : ik its been like two days but youre pretty cool
Harley : I’m more then ‘pretty cool’. I’m super cool
Peter : sure sure
Peter : wait did you say Mister Stark crash landed in your garage
Harley : Yeah lmao
Harley : Want to hear the story about how I helped him track down a super villain?
Peter : o definitely
Harley : You have to give me at least one story about superheroing tho. Tony tells me nothing
Peter : fair trade
-
“Who’re you texting, Peter?”
Peter, because he was a superhero and superheros didn’t jump a foot into the air when their friend startled them and definitely didn’t yelp in surprise as well, clutched his phone to his chest and let out a high-pitched, “NO ONE! Who are YOU texting?”
Ned stared at him, unbelieving, and sat down next to him at the cafeteria table. “Sure, texting ‘no one’ warrants that reaction.”
He sighed, and forcibly unclenched his shoulders and pulled his phone away from his chest. “Sorry, dude, you just startled me.”
“No sweat.” Ned said. “Though, couldn’t you just, I don’t know, sense me?”
He took a look around the cafeteria, seeing everyone was too busy eating to pay attention to them, then shrugged and glanced at his friend who had started eating beside him. “It basically goes off, like, all the time during school. Cus’ of all the stress, probably. Besides, you’re not a threat to me.”
“I don’t know if I should take that in a ‘I could beat you up easily’ way or ‘you’re my friend and I know you’d ever hurt me way.’”
“The second one.”
“Aw, thanks!”
His phone choose that moment to beep — or, more accurately, Harley choose that moment to text — so Peter peered down at the screen. However, before he could read whatever it was, Ned suddenly leaned forward and squished up against his side. “So ... who are you texting?”
He shut his phone off and placed it facedown on the table, before grabbing his fork and pushed around his food on his tray, which he realized only made it more suspicious. But, he had only been texting Harley for a few months, and he felt ... oddly protective of their current, tentative friendship. “He’s a kid from Tennessee. Miss Potts gave me his number during the summer because he knows Tony personally and thought we would get along.”
“Oh.” Ned deflated. “I thought it was - someone else. Like an Avenger or something.”
He snorted, and took a bite of his - beans, he thought. He hadn’t really been looking at what the lunch ladies had been serving. “You do realize most of them are war criminals, right?”
“Not Iron Man, and you have his number! Or War Machine, or the Vision —“
“I don’t have any of their numbers, Ned.” He said. “Expect for Mister Starks.”
“Oh, alright.” His friend replied. Peters phone buzzed again, rattling against the table, and his eyes flickered to it without realizing. Ned nudged his side, then asked, “So, what do you and Tennessee kid talk about?”
“Uh ... nothing important, really. Mostly making fun of eachother. Like, he sent me ten pictures of cow fields yesterday, and I called him disappointing cowboy, and he sent me a middle finger emoji and asked if the pigeons here were any better. I said yes.” He explained. He took another bite of his lunch, and looked around at the surrounding tables. People were chattering and it was loud, but it was getting colder as the months turned to winter so he hadn’t want to sit outside where he would no doubt be shivering within minutes.
“Sounds like me and my sisters messages.” Ned commented. “Last time she texted me was asking if I could pick up icecream when I was out, and when I said no she said she would go through my laundry and steal all my socks. And she actually did it. I had no socks for, like, a week afterwards.”
Peter chewed then swallowed his food. “Uh, okay? I mean, we’ve only been texting regularly since, like, September. I wouldn’t say we’re like, you and your sister, but I would classify us as friends, I think? I don’t —“
“Hey, are you replacing me as your best friend?” Ned asked, looking dejected. Peters rambling slammed to a halt as he furiously backtracked to console him.
“Of course not! You’re still my best friend, and Harleys cool and all but if anything he’s, like, an annoying cousin or something but you’re still totally my best friend and I would never replace you, ever —“
“Peter, dude, chill.” Ned laughed and elbowed him, sad look disappearing into a chipper grin. “I know you’d never replace me, cus’ I’d never replace you. I’m your guy in the chair!”
“Totally.” He immediately calmed down when it was revealed Ned was just joking with him, and he turned back to his food to eat it before their lunch period was over. The cafeteria was humming with noise, Ned changed the subject to the test he had earlier, and while his phone kept buzzing, he ignored it until Ned was finished talking. He didn’t want to be rude again.
It was only when he was in the car to the Stark Tower after school that he realized he hadn’t even mentioned Harleys name to Ned. Probably a good thing — knowing how good Ned was at tech stuff, he would probably be able to find Harleys social media profiles just by his name and the small amount of info Peter had given him. Not that it would have been hard, given they were already following eachother and Ned could simply go down his ‘following’ list, but still. He really doubted that Harley would appreciate some random kid from Peters school trying to contact him, even if the ‘random kid’ was his best friend.
He sighed, and Happy pretended not to notice from the front seat. At least it was lab day with Mister Stark. He loved lab days with Mister Stark. They were the best.
-
HARLEY KEENER
Harley : Soooooo, when are you going to let me look at your Spiderman stuff?
Peter : uh, we live like four states away from eachother??
Harley : Texting exists
Peter : i am NOT sending you highly classified information pertaining to my secret identity over text messages
Peter : im gonna send it over email
Harley : Score
-
HARLEY KEENER
Harley : [ironladblueprints.jpeg]
Harley : Thoughts?
Peter : WOAH ARE YOU REMAKING MISTER STARKS ARMOUR???
Harley : Yeah. He sends me any supplies I ask for and I was bored one day so I decided to use it to my full advantage
Peter : you DEFINITELY need to let me edit it, those look great by ive worked on Mister Starks armour before and i can help you!!
Harley : Why do you think I sent it over?
-
HARLEY KEENER
Harley : [spidermanmeme.png]
Peter : Harley its 2am
Harley : Yeah and its 1am here
Peter : thats still not good
Harley : The pot calling the tea kettle black
Harley : Meme. Thoughts?
Peter : pretty funny
Harley : Good because I have fifty more get ready
-
HARLEY KEENER
Harley : I heard about the fight with that scorpion dude on the news, you okay?
Peter : yeah im fine
Peter : little banged up but itll heal in the next few days
Peter : Mister Stark already forced me to spend an hour in the medbay getting checked up so dw to much
Harley : I’ll try not too, but I’m notoriously stubborn
Harley : Wait, do you have increased healing?
Peter : yeah
Peter : and strength and agility and stuff
Peter : also better senses, and kinda of a danger detector?? idk i can just kinda sense when somethings wrong which is helpful in a fight bc i sense stuff coming at me but it also goes off just like. during school when im stressed so its more like heightened anxiety then anything
Peter : but im also allergic to peppermint, bugspray and lavender now, so you win some you lose some ig
Harley : lmao cool
Harley : Not the allergy stuff but the other stuff
Harley : So how much can you lift?
Peter : uhhhh my max is 10 tons i think, last time me and Mister Stark tested it
Harley : Jesus
Harley : Remind me not to worry about you in a fight again my god
Peter : aw <3
Harley : ...
Harley : <3
-
Peter and Mister Stark had been working in the lab for about four hours. Sometime around seven o’clock, FRIDAY reminded them to eat due to the built in alarms Tony had added that were activate whenever he was over — “because Spider-kids with metabolism faster then a super soldiers need to eat.” — and so the two were forced to stop their projects and go to the kitchen to either order something or, if they felt up to it, attempt to cook.
But, well, Peter was on a temporary ban from using the stove after he accidentally set it on fire when he wasn’t even using it, and Mister Stark, the embodiment of ‘ultra super rich guy’, could only cook something that needed twenty ingredients and at least an hour to prepare. The one time he tried to make Kraft Dinner, it ended up turning into a watery goop when he put to much milk in it.
“Damn my genius.” Tony muttered to himself. Peter, with his enhanced hearing, picked it up and giggled.
“You came up with the idea of ‘punishments’, Mister Stark.” He replied.
“Blame FRIDAY, she should have stopped me.” The mans face pinched up as he thought about it. “I clearly wasn’t in the best state of mind.”
“ I’m just following my protocol, Boss. ” FRIDAY said, sounding way to smug for an A.I.
Yes, they were forced to adhere to FRIDAYs alarms, because Mister Stark thought it was a good idea to put in ‘punishments’ that FRIDAY could deploy any time they didn’t follow the alarms — including but not limited too; shutting off power to the lab, setting off the fire sprinklers but only the ones right above them, and getting Dum-E to spray them with a fire extinguisher. Whatever FRIDAY felt was necessary, and she usually picked the worst option. They had already been sprayed by Dum-E once already, they didn’t need to repeat that incident.
“Yeah, yeah.” Mister Stark waved his hand around in a ‘brushing off’ motion. “While you’re at it ‘just following protocol’, would you mind ordering dinner from that pizzeria on Fifth? The one May introduced us too?”
“ Of course. The usual? ”
“Yep, thank you Fri.”
“ You’re welcome, Boss. ”
In preparation, Peter wandered over to the sink to wash the grease off his hands. He hadn’t noticed it while he was working, but now that he had, it felt uncomfortable on his skin. Also, he didn’t really want to get pizza grease already on his mechanical grease.
As he was scrubbing his hands raw, slathered in enough dish soap to make bubbles fly, he heard Mister Stark shuffle on his feet from side to side. He glanced out of the corner of his eye and saw his mentor was looking ... nervous, oddly enough.
“Is something wrong, Mister Stark?” He asked, continuing to wash.
Mister Stark snorted, and leaned back against the counter. “Not really, but I do have an idea.”
Peter grinned and shut the tap off with his wet hands, getting droplets on the floor as he headed to where the towels were hung over the handle of the oven door. “Oh, sounds fun. What is it?”
“Oh, uh, not a lab idea.” He clarified. Peter cocked his head at him in question, and the man sighed and his shoulders sunk. “How would you feel about me inviting another kid to stay here over the summer?”
“Uh.” He finished drying his hands and now stood face to face with Mister Stark, only a few feet apart. “It’s your home, so invite whoever you want, I guess?”
“No, I meant —“ He cut himself off, then sighed again, more deeply this time. “There’s this kid I met, uh, 2012ish, I think. Whenever that whole deal with the Mandarin was going on and everyone thought I was dead for like a week. I crashed landed by his house and used his garage to fix my suit. He helped me track the Mandarin, too. Super smart, he’s only a few years older then you, too. We kept in touch, and I call his mom sometimes.”
“Oh, yeah, I remember that week.” Peter said. When he got the news that his favourite hero had ‘died’, Peter had been devastated for days. But he wasn’t going to tell Mister Stark that, as he was much more curious if his mentor was talking about who he thought he was talking about it. “And you want to invite him for, like, an internship?”
“Yep. The entire summer.” Mister Stark said. “I was just asking you because I would probably employ him as my ‘personal intern’, like your cover story. Would you be cool with that? As a fair warning, he’s from Tennessee, so he probably has an accent. I can understand if that would turn you off.”
Well, that just confirmed it all. Peter smiled, and most would find it innocent, or even cute, but to Tony who had known the kid for awhile felt a chill of terror go through him. “Wait, you mean Harley? Keener?”
-
HARLEY KEENER
Peter : Mister Stark just learned weve been texting eachother for the entire school year lmao
Harley : Wait you didn’t mention it to him?
Harley : I mean, I haven’t bc we mostly just talk about tech and family stuff and it never really came up, but you see him all the time. I’m surprised
Peter : yeah it was deliberate
Peter : i wanted to see how long it would take him to figure out ‘the new out-of-state friend ive been texting for 3/4 of the past year’ is ‘the kid who i send super expensive tech to every once and awhile and have bimonthly phone calls with his mom’
Harley : That is hilarious
Harley : Surprised you didn’t spill the beans tho
Harley : You suck at secrets
Peter : no i dont!!!
Harley : Peter, I figured out you were Spiderman within two days of meeting you. And we didn’t even meet face to face. I figured it just by texting you.
Harley : To be fair, I am a genius, but still
Peter : dont be mean :( im sensitive Audrey
Harley : Fuck ya chicken strips
Peter : PATRICA
Peter : oh btw Tonys thinking of inviting you NYC for the summer
Harley : ADAM
Harley : wait what
-
HARLEY KEENER
Harley : I accepted the offer
Peter : WAIT REALLY!!!!???
Harley : no
Peter : aw :(
Harley : jk jk of course I did
Peter : thats a mean trick to pull
Peter : but im still excited to see you :D
Harley : Yeah well, it wasn’t entirely my decision?
Harley : I obviously wanted to come but when I told my mom she basically said I’m going bc during the summer without school I get very bored and she still has completely forgiven me for the time I set Lilys room on fire
Harley : So she thought me going here, a place where another adult can deal with my ‘nonsense’ for a few months, would be a good idea. So here I am
Peter : lmao
Peter : wait who’s Lily?
Harley : Uh
Harley : My sister?
Peter : YOU HAVE A SISTER??
Harley : Peter I know I’ve mentioned her before
Peter : i am forgetful
Harley : You know the entire Pixar movie library in order of release date, made a highly complex web formula in your school lab, and can somehow recite the entire first chapter of Harry Potter without messing up, but can’t remember I have a sister?
Peter : i am forgetful when it comes to people
Harley : Loser
Peter : bigger loser
-
HARLEY KEENER
Harley: TONY SENT A FUCKING PRIVATE JET TO PICK ME UP WHAT THE FUCK
Peter : ashdueoskmxjsowowpsosow
Harley : I was like ‘oh, first time in an airport, this is going to be fun!’ and then when I emailed him asking for a ticket, he just replied back with ‘you think I’m letting you go to a public airport?’
Harley : He landed it. In a field. By my house. All my neighbours saw. What the fuck
Peter : okay at least he hasnt gotten a notification from your AI saying your having a panic attack, fly to your school in a blind panic to check up on you, than threatened to both sue and fund your school if they didnt let him see you in the nurses office
Harley : Oh my holy god
Harley : Story. Now
Peter : arent you suppose to be on a plane or smth
Peter : no phones while flying Harley
Harley : We havent taken off yet
Harley : Oh. Wait. The pilots telling me to turn it off now
Harley : Private plane. Private pilot. god damn it Tony.
Harley : You’re telling me that story as soon as we land tho
Peter : did you bring me your gauntlets for the Iron Lad armour?
Harley : Quit calling it that
Harley : And yes
Peter : fine then
-
Peter tapped his foot anxiously as he watched TV, some Disney movie he wasn’t paying attention to playing with the volume low. He was so slumped into the couch he was practically laying on it, and the only thing keeping him tethered there instead of pacing, or standing in the ceiling, or playing in the lab, was that he wanted to be there when Harley arrived and look somewhat composed when they met face-to-face for the first time.
It wasn’t that he was nervous about seeing Harley. He wasn’t. Mister Stark, who had gone with Happy to pick him up from the airport, insisted it would be fine. But it was just that texting someone was way different from meeting that person physically. What if Harley didn’t like him? What if he thought he was annoying — more so than he already did? What if he did something terribly wrong and buggered up their first impression forever?
Actually, okay, maybe he was nervous. But he was nervous about most things, so that wasn’t anything new.
Suddenly, the movie paused, cutting off the protagonists singing and FRIDAYs voice drifted from the ceiling. “ Mister Parker, Boss and Mister Keener have arrived and now coming up in the elevator. ”
He glanced at the elevator, and saw the light above it was slowly climbing. “Thanks, Fri.”
“ No problem.” The A.I shut off and the movie resumed. The song continued, but Peter rushed for the remote to turn it off as the elevator light kept passing floors. With shaking hands, he turned off the TV just as the elevator reached the floor and the doors slowly opened.
Peter scrambled up and over the back of the couch to slide across the tiled floor, and slid into view just as the doors open fully, revealing Mister Stark and Harley alongside at least one suitcase and a stuffed backpack. However, Peter must have misjudged his slide, as he went too far, stammering “ HiHarleyHiMisterStarkhowwastheflight ? ” as he did so, and fell sideways onto the floor with a loud thump.
“Jesus, Peter, are you okay?” Mister Stark immediately rushed over, but Peter had already recovered despite the slight stinging in his cheek and bounced back up to his feet. “What have I told you about sliding around on your socks?”
“Not too.” He mumbled, no doubt his face now scarlet red. Mister Stark leaned in close to inspect his face, and must have been satisfied that he wasn’t too badly hurt, as he leaned back and gestured to Harley, watching their interaction with one slightly raised eyebrow.
“Peter, this is Harley Keener. Harley, this is Peter Parker.” His mentor introduced. “I’ve heard you guys know eachother already?”
Harley scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I explained this to you in the car already, old man.”
His voice had a slight country lit to it, but not as noticeable as Peter would have thought. They had in fact video chatted a few times, but seeing him in person versus a phone screen was still a big difference. He had light brown hair, that looked almost blond in the light of the windows, and looked a few inches taller then Peter himself. Overall, he looked, surprisingly, just as Peter had thought he would look like.
“You’ve been here for less than five minutes and you’re already insulting me!” Mister Stark exclaimed, hand flying to his chest in mock offensive. “I’m sending you back to Tennessee, effective immediately.”
“And you’ll have to deal with my mom.” Harley replied.
Mister Stark raised in hands in surrender. “Fine, fine. Whatever. Let me show you your room, it’s right beside Peters.”
Mister Stark began walking, and Harley followed, suitcase rolling out behind him. Peter hesitated for a moment before falling into step beside the other boy, who glanced over at him, and the corner of his mouth quirked up.
“So, Peter, what were you trying to do when you fell on your ass?” He asked.
Peter rolled his eyes, much like he did whenever he got a teasing text from Harley as well. “I was trying to come and greet you, but you didn’t seem to appreciate it.”
Harley snorted, and nudged him with his elbow. “Well, if it’s any consolation, Tony didn’t stop raving about you in the car. I was starting to feel a tad jealous.”
“I heard that!” Mister Stark shouted. He came to a stop outside the door next to Peters room. He had never even realized the room had been empty, or that there even was a room beside his. “Don’t make me regret bringing you here, Keener.”
“Judging by my plans for the summer, you’re going to regret it within a week.” Harley replied.
He shot Peter a mischievous grin. Peter returned it, ideas already filling his head of what they could do and replacing his earlier nerves. Mister Stark sucked in a breath. “Introducing you guys was a mistake.”
“You didn’t introduce us, Pepper did.” Harley grabbed the doorknob and twisted, then pushed the door open with his shoulder. Peter followed him inside, and saw the room was close to his own in terms of layout and furniture, but lacking the personalized touches. Peter decided that would be one of their first items on their to-do list.
“I’m leaving before you decide to cover my lab in sticky notes again.” Tony said. “If you decide not to make my life living hell, I’ll be the kitchen.”
The man rushed away before waiting for a reply, and Harley turned to him, both of them still standing only a few steps into the room. “Did you once cover his lab in sticky notes?”
“Yep.” He replied. “Gotta stay on brand with my stickiness.”
Harley chuckled, then moved deeper into the room. “Come on then, sticky boy, I brought some stuff to do and I have ideas.”
“Did you bring the gauntlets?”
“Yep.”
“Gimme.”
Tonys lab was covered in two entire layers of sticky notes by the end of the week, expect they were added with a small bit of Peters web formula to make them impossible to come off for at least the entire day. It was hilarious.
-
ACADEMIC DECATHLON SQUAD
MJ : Sup losers. Saturday, 12:00, meet at the front of the school. We’re going out to lunch.
Sally : its summmmmer we shouldnt have to worry about practicing :(
Charles : Some of us might not be on the team next year, MJ, so there’s no point anyways
MJ : Where in my text did I say we would be practicing?
MJ : I mean, if you want too ...
Sally : no no no no no !!! just lunch !!!
Abe : wow, MJ is initiating non-practice hangouts. this is character development
MJ : I’m only doing this to appease my dad. Don’t get any big ideas.
Abe : well, i’m in either way. my sister keeps nagging me to get out of the house so she can have friends over
Flash : How is Hobie BTW? Does she ask about me?
Abe : one, gross, two, she has boyfriend dipshit, three, she’s way out of your league anyways
Cindy : inappropriate, Flash
Cindy : I’ll come to the lunch tho, MJ
Charles : I will too!
Betty : Sounds fun, I’ll be there.
Sally : definitely there. surprisingly, i think i miss all you guys
Flash : Ugh, fine, I’ll come too. But I get to pick the restaurant.
Sally : correction; i miss everyone expect you
MJ : I should have kicked you from this chat before I asked
Flash : too late
Ned : Sorry for not replying sooner, but I’m definitely going!! @Peter, what about you?
Peter : sorry, cant make it. already have plans w/ someone else
Ned : Wait, who?
Peter : tennessee kid. hes visiting for the summer
Ned : WAIT REALLY??!!
Flash : Really, Parker? Making up friends now? Pathetic. What could a loser like be doing anyways without your bff with you? Wallowing in self pity?
Peter : for your information, he is real, his names Harley, and our plans for the day are to see how long it takes for fruit to explode when you put it in a microwave until we run out of fruit or the fire alarms trip
Betty : ... I’m almost afraid to ask, but why?
Peter : funsies
MJ : You can bring him to the meet up, Peter. I’m sure your aunt and landlord would appreciate you not setting off the fire alarms for your entire building.
Peter : bold of you to assume May would allow us to do it in our apartment lmao
Betty : THEN WHERE WERE YOU GONNA DO IT??
Peter : a place where we explode things a lot
Charles : You explode things a lot?
Peter : yeah
Betty : WHY??
Peter : funsies
Peter : anyways, i’ll ask Harley, but idk if he’ll come he hates people
Flash : Ha, sure! Nice excuse, idiot.
Cindy : jfc lay off Flash
-
Peter looked up from his phone at Harley, who was hunched over one of the lab benches working on his Iron Lad gauntlets. “Uh, Harley?”
“Yeah?” He asked without looking up.
“Uh ... my Academic Decathlon want to meet up tomorrow at our school and go to lunch. I told them we already had plans but then they invited you too, so, uh, do you want to go hang out with my friends tomorrow?” He stammered. “Only if you want too, of course, cus’ I don’t really care either way —“
“Yeah, sounds like fun.” Harley said. “Also, I’m done fixing the gauntlets. There was a bug when I was summoning the parts from the watch, they weren’t fitting together right. I was going to say ‘wanna test them’ but Tony banned us from using all weaponry when he’s not here and FRIDAY is a snitch ...”
“ I’m simply following Boss’ orders, Mister Keener. ” FRIDAY piped in with barley restrained glee at annoying the young man.
Harley waved her off. “Yeah, yeah. So, you want to test your webs or anything?”
Peter, halfway through texting, thought for a moment, then hit a lightbulb and grinned. “Wanna go lay in a hammock on the top of the tower in my webs until someone notices and no doubt has a heart attack?”
“Definitely. Do I need pillows or anything?”
“Lmao, no, my webs are super comfy. But avoid food, pigeons will try and steal it. I’ve learned that the hard way.” He said, his last sentence becoming quiet and distant as his eyes got a far-off look as he was remembering a painful and troublesome battle.
“I —“ Harley blinked at him. “Did you just say ‘l-m-a-o’ out loud?”
“Yes, I did.” He shook his head and raised his eyebrow at him. “Got a problem with it?”
“Yeah, actually. Boomer.”
“Karen.”
“Oh, you little bitch —“
-
ACADEMIC DECATHLON SQUAD
Peter : he says he will come!!
Peter : fair warning, hes uh. not the nicest person around and will prob call you a bitch to your face bc he has absolutely no filter when it comes to insulting people
Abe : great, another MJ
MJ : I don’t go around exploding things for ‘funsies’.
Peter : lmao hes nothing like MJ dw
Peter : also not in a bad way MJ!!! i mean you guys are similar but not the exact same person yknow? youre both great tho im sure youll like eachother :)
Peter : anyways i have to go now we’re gonna go make a hammock 1100 feet off the ground and see how long it takes someone to notice
Charles : for funsies?
Peter : for funsies
Flash : So, we all know this Harley guy is totally made up, right? Like Penis is just lonely so he’s made an imaginary friend?
Ned : No, Harley is real
Ned : He and Peter have been texting since last summer
Flash : Of course you would believe him, Leeds.
MJ : Flash, even I know about Harley. Peter never stops texting him, I’m surprised his phone bill isn’t through the roof.
Sally : oh is that who he’s always texting in gym class? i was surprised he didn’t get caught
Ned : Peter can be sneaky when he wants too
Abe : true
Abe : one time he silently walked up behind me and tapped me on my shoulder to get my attention i jumped like ten feet in the air
Abe : still haven’t emotionally recovered from it
-
“We’re late we’re late we are so late.”
“And whose fault is that?”
“Yes, Harley, I take sole responsibility for making us late but if you make us even more late I swear to god I’m going to drop you from the top of the tower —”
“Threatening violence against me, Peter? Aw, you must really want us to not be late!”
As soon as they were out of the subway and on the street, out of the throngs of people, he grabbed onto Harleys wrist and dashed down the street. The other boy let out a startled noise, but Peter paid no attention and instead used a small bit of his super strength to pull him through the crowd towards his school.
Yes, Peter was in fact the one that made them late. He had stayed overnight in the tower, and had forced Harley to take the subway with him to Queens. Unfortunately, they missed their first train as Peter had to run back and grab his phone when they were already on the ground floor of the building, forcing them to take a train about twenty minutes later then their original one, but now Harley was taking joy in tormenting him and going as slow as possible, and Peter was not going to be any more late then they already were.
He swerved between the people and Harley, for his credit, kept up with minimal complaining. Luckily, they had gotten out at the right stop, and Peter had chosen the one closest to Midtown — a fifteen minute walk, if you took your time.
They were not taking their time.
The sight of his school came into view within five minutes, and he finally slowed down when he saw the front steps and he spotted his friends sitting around. MJ and Ned were talking, Betty was on her phone, and Cindy, Sally, Charles and Abe seemed to be playing a game of ‘would you rather’. Flash was the only one standing away from the group, leaning against the school wall by the doors staring off into the middle distance.
Peter screeched to a stop in front of the steps and cheered, throwing his hands up in the air triumphantly — still holding Harleys wrist, meaning the other boy was forced to follow. “Ha! We made it! And only twenty-five minutes late!”
Everyone looked over at them, looking surprised at their arrival. Actually, most were focusing on Harley. He seemed to notice, as he snorted, then said, “Peter, sticky.”
“Oh, sorry.” He retracted his stickiness after concentrating for a moment, then let go of Harleys wrist. The other boy rubbed the spot where his fingers had been, but the corners of his mouth were lopsided, so he obviously didn’t mind too much. Ned had wide eyes, while MJ had narrowed hers, probably noting the ‘sticky’ comment. Oh. He hadn’t mention Harley knew about Spider-man, had he?
Shaking his head, Peter stepped closer to his friends, putting on a smile to ease their worries. “Hey, everyone, this is Harley. Harley, this everyone.”
His friends all waved at the new arrivals — well, everyone expect Flash. Harley waved back before stuffing his hands in his pockets. “Pete, you have to give me more than that. I don’t even know their names.”
He rolled his eyes, but began pointing at everyone as he introduced them. “Ned. MJ. Cindy. Betty. Charles. Abe. Sally. Flash.” He sighed, and added once more. “As I said before, this is Harley. He’s from Tennessee, and yes, you can make fun of him.”
Without missing a beat, Harley leaned in close and began waving his arms around like he was a cowboy. “Why, by golly, Pete, you New Yorkers just don’t understand the glory of the American country side, you big ol’ city boy!”
“You’re horrible and I hate you.” He flicked his forehead, and Harley rocked back onto his heels, and glared back at him.
“You’re horrible and I hate you.”
“Losers!” MJ shouted, making them both snap to attention. “As cute as this bantering thing is, the original plan was to meet for lunch, so we should get going before it gets busy.”
“Bantering?” Peter asked. “I’m just telling Harley my true feelings for him, which is hatred.”
“You’re the one that made us late.”
“I already admitted to that —“
“Come on .” MJ said with a warning clear in her voice. They immediately rushed after her when she went marching down the sidewalk, and his other friends, who had been watching them with eyes as wide as saucers, scrambled after them.
The group set into a comfortable walk as MJ lead them away from the school, and she wasn’t too upset with him and Harley, as she explained they had all already voted on a restaurant (a sandwich shop named Pattys 77 Sandwiches, which, yes, had seventy-seven different types of sandwiches) that wasn’t Flashs suggestion while waiting around for them. Ned, the kind human that he was, said he had argued that they should have waited for them to arrive, but everyone vetoed him.
“Thanks anyways, though, dude.” Peter said, patting him once on the shoulder before putting his hands in his pockets, then hastily taking them out again when he noticed Harley was in a similar position beside him — they had both, despite the weather, chosen to wear sweaters as they needed the pocket space, and he didn’t want Harley to make fun of him for ‘copying’ him more than he had already.
“No problem.” Ned said. He then glanced at Harley, who was walking on Peters other side, then waved awkwardly. “Uh, hey, Harley. I’m Ned. Peters friend.”
“Yeah, I know. Guy in the chair, right?” Harley said. Ned went pale, and while MJ didn’t outwardly react, he could tell she was listening. No one else around was close enough to hear, thankfully.
“Uh, I, uh, don’t know what you’re talking about!” Ned said hurriedly. “I —“
“Chill, dork, it’s obvious he knows.” MJ piped up from ahead. She was leading the pack, and didn’t even look behind her when she spoke. “The sticky comment kinda of gave it away.”
MJ revealed to him she knew about his spider thing just before they went on spring break, then didn’t answer his texts or calls for the entire week afterwards. When they got back to school, she eventually explained that there were only so many times he could miss practice, turn up with unexplainable bruises that matched where Spider-man had been hit during a fight, then miraculously turn out fine within a few days before it got suspicious. She also cited she was just good at reading people and he sucked at secret keeping, which was ... fair.
It was still weird, though, knowing that she knew, but she been uncharacteristically heartfelt when she told him she would, under no circumstances, reveal his identity to anyone. He was also surprised when she started hanging with him and Ned more, her ‘losers’ comments got less insulting and more soft, and even sometimes teamed up with Ned to call him on late-nights patrol so he wouldn’t get lonely. By now he had was use to it the little triad they made, and it was nice having more people he could trust in his corner.
Ned. MJ. May. Happy. Mister Stark. And now Harley, too.
“Yeah, I figured it out within two days of texting him.” Harley explained, snapping him from his thoughts.
“Figured out what?” Cindy piped up from behind them.
“That Peter is a massive nerd.” Harley said without missing a beat, and Cindy chuckled.
The comment didn’t bother him, but he heard Flash barked out a laugh somewhere from behind, too, which made his enjoyment at it decrease tenfold. In retaliation, Peter reached over and pinched Harleys back when no one was looking, which made him turn and glower at him. He smiled innocently, but by then they reached the shop, so he couldn’t do anything because MJ gave them a warning glare and lead the group inside.
Peter was immediately assaulted by the smell of bread and the freshness of restaurants in general, and saw that while shop was surprisingly small, it was bustling with people. Employees in green uniforms were preparing food at the counter, and behind them was a large chalkboard that took up a good portion of the wall with all the sandwich types. However, one of the employees busting a table looked up when their large group came in, she paled and quickly finished her work before rushing off behind the counter. It seem like Harley was the only one who noticed her reaction, as he hid a laugh behind a cough and Peter bit his cheek to keep from laughing as well.
He knew adults didn’t enjoy it when large groups of teenagers came into their businesses, because large groups of teenagers meant rowdy behaviour, and this group was no expectation. The last time his decathlon team had had a meal together in a restaurant that wasn’t supervised by at least three teachers, it had ended up with death glares from other customers and Mister Harrington being pulled aside and told that Midtown could never host another ‘team dinner’ there ever again. Mister Harrington was also not allowed to supervise them in restaurant on his own anymore.
And now there were no teachers here, and one extra kid. As much as Peter wanted to be polite and simply order their stuff and move on — he hated making scenes in public places, which was ironic given his side hobby — his friends would want to sit down and eat, and Harley thrived in chaos, so he would probably encourage them for the fun of it. Peter sighed through his nose and just hoped he wouldn’t be the one to cause whatever ruckus was about to happen.
Luckily, they managed to all get in line and ordered their sandwiches without too much drama, even when Betty changed her order twice, Flash changed his order three times because he couldn’t have the same type as anybody else, and Charles nearly ordered a sandwich with something he was allergic to on it before Abe corrected him. Harley was paying for his sandwich as well, since they had met a bet the other day over who could hide from Tony the longest, and loser paid for their next outing. FRIDAY had covered for them, and Peter won with flying colours — sometimes the ability to climb walls was useful for things other than crime fighting, like reaching ceiling vents. He had lasted two hours before his phone died and he got bored, while Harley had been caught in the first five minutes of Tony arriving. That’s what he got for thinking under the couch was a good hiding spot.
“God, you suck.” Harley said when they both standing at the register, watching the others struggle and hold the line up. He had paid with money Peter didn’t know how he acquired, but he wasn’t going to question it. He was getting a free meal out of it, after all.
“Should have thought about that before you challenged me.” He replied. Cindy was arguing with the employee about the difference between green or black olives, and the employee looked like he was debating every single life choice he had ever made.
“You cheat.” Harley said.
“Not my fault you didn’t think I would go up .” He shot back. “It’s a ceiling vent. Of course I’m going to hide there.”
“Normal people don’t hide in ceiling vents, Peter.”
“Well, I’m not normal.”
Harley sighed, but by then Cindy had come to the conclusion black olives were best and when she finally got her order and paid, they all pattered over to the only slightly-big empty table, which was in the middle of restaurant surrounded by other tables. Peter ended up with Harley on one side and Ned on the other, though, so he didn’t feel too anxious with people randomly passing behind him.
“So, uh, Harley.” It was Sally who spoke up first, making everyones eyes turn towards her after a few minutes of them all eating in silence. “How did you and Peter meet? If you’re from Tennessee?”
Everyone turned to look expectedly at Harley, even Ned and MJ — who he knew he had told about Harley before. Luckily, Harley took it all in grace, simply swallowing down his bite and shrugging. “Stark Internship. Remember when Tony went missing for like, a week in 2012 and everyone thought he was dead?”
“I — Tony? As in Tony Stark?” Cindy asked for clarification.
“Yeah, who else?” Harley raised an eyebrow.
“Well, of course, everyone remembers it.” Cindy said. “It was the biggest story for like, months afterwards. Everyone was freaking out over an Avenger being dead because of an explosion he brought on himself after surviving an alien invasion a few months earlier.”
“I don’t remember it.” Abe said. “We were all like, ten at the time. I can barley remember anything from last year, I would not be able to remember something from when I wasn’t even a teenager yet.”
“Fine, most of us remember it.” Cindy corrected, glaring at Abe before taking a too aggressive bite of her sandwich.
“Peter cried when he found out.” Ned added, taking a sip from his drink. Peter hissed at him “ Ned! ” while Harleys eyes widened, and then he laughed, like an asshole.
“I’m totally telling him that.” Harley said, still giggling to himself. His face heated up in embarrassment as he thought about how that conversation would go. If Mister Stark found out, he wouldn’t let it go for weeks . His life would be a living hell. “Prime blackmail material.”
“I will stick you to the ceiling, Harley!” He cried, lunging for the other boy. Harley lifted his arm up and placed a hand on his forehead to stop his movement, but Peter still managed to grab onto his sweater string and pulled, bunching up his hood. “And that is a threat!”
“Guys, chill out, the employees are watching us.” Betty said in a hushed whisper. They both turned towards the counter to see that the employees were, in fact, watching them and whispering amongst eachother. Peter slowly let go of Harley and leaned back, and both turned back to their sandwiches, somewhat sheepish.
“So, uh, continue on?” Sally promoted. Harley shook himself off and started speaking once more.
“Anyways, during that week when everyone thought he was dead, he actually crashed landed in my home town and broke into my garage for parts. I kinda helped him rebuild his suit and stuff and we stayed in contact afterwards. So, he invited me over this summer to intern with him. And Peter, since he’s his personal intern. But me and Peter have been texting since last summer, when Pepper gave him my number.” Peter rolled his eyes and took a bite of his sandwich. “And now we do stuff together whenever Tony is busy. And when Tony isn’t busy. We just do stuff together a lot.”
“Like, uh, explode things?” Charles inquired.
“Among others.” Harley said. “A few weeks ago we put googly eyes on everything in Tonys lab and watched him try to get them all off for hours.”
Peter put his sandwich down and was about to interject with his own anecdote, but was cut off by a scoff from the end of the table. Everyones gazes turned to see it was Flash, having set his meal down and staring at Harley with a disbelieving expression. “Yeah, right.”
“Excuse me?” Harley narrowed his eyes right back.
“There’s no way any of that happened.” Flash said. “Like, come on, dude, at least make your lies reasonable. You’re as a bad as Penis with his fake Stark Internship. He must have hired you, or something, to support his lies. Unbelievable.”
Peter bit back a groan. He knew something bad was going to happen here today.
MJ sighed. “Flash, no one wants to deal with your bullshit today.”
However, everyone ignored her when Harley turned to Peter with an almost murderous expression on his face, hands clenching around his sandwich so tight half of the toppings fell off. It landed on the table with a ‘splat’, but Peter were more focused on the fact Harley was most pissed off he had ever seen him over, really, not even close to the worst comment Flash had ever thrown at him.
“Is that what he calls you?” Harley asked, voice unreadable expect for his anger.
Peter start jiggling his leg anxiously. “Uh, no?”
Harley glared at him.
“Yeah, fine, sometimes, but it’s not really a big deal —“
“Does he do it often? Not just the nickname thing, insisting your lying and making rude comments.” Despite phrasing it as a question, Harley sounded like he knew the answer already.
Peter looked around at the others at the table, but they offered no help, so he shrugged and took a bite of his sandwich to try and ease the tension. “Yeah, but again, it’s not really a big deal —“
“Like hell it is!” Harley suddenly stood up, so fast his chair nearly toppled over and Peter choked on his sandwich. Everyone else looked just as shocked when Harley slammed one hand on the table, clattering their food, and pointed accusatory at Flash. “You have ten seconds to get the hell out before I taser you.”
“Harley!” He reached up and attached his hand, slightly sticky, to Harleys back and pulled him down into his seat. With wide eyes, he vigorously shook his head as the other boy glared daggers that could kill at Flash, who still looked slightly smug but also a bit shaken now. He knew Harley was not bluffing, his taser was one of the ‘toys’ he had brought from Tennessee and he had given a few upgrades to make it even more dangerous. “You need to chill out, you are not tasering my classmate —“
“You’re not in school right now, so he’s not your classmate. He’s just some little punk that’s bullying you.”
“He’s not bullying me —!”
“Peter, he’s calling you mean nicknames and making rude comments. That’s the textbook definition of bullying.”
“It doesn’t matter, and you can’t —“
“Peter, I once exploded a flash grenade at my old bullys house, I’m doing this.”
Peter froze, not realizing Harley had been bullied before — he seemed to ... headstrong, for that, but that was also when he became very aware of all eyes in the restaurant watching them. Including his friends, all looking shocked at Harleys outburst. Even MJ, usually carefully guarded, looked somewhat surprised at their interactions. Skin prickling under the weight of everyones gazes, he slowly unstuck his hand from Harleys back. However, before he could do anything else, like trying to diffuse the situation he had been forced into, the sound of laughter drifted towards them from the end of the table.
Flash, because he was an idiot who didn’t know when to stop, was laughing.
“Seriously, that was a nice protective display or whatever, and now you’ve caused a scene . Goodness, first a liar, now an actor.” He grinned at him, knowing exactly what he was doing. “Great job, Penis.”
Peter wasn’t quick enough that time. Harley grabbed the taser from his inner sweater pocket and lifted into the air, sparks flying between the two prongs, and Flash went from smug to scared as he screamed so loud a person outside looked in through the window.
-
“How the hell did you get banned from a fucking sandwich shop?”
“Taser.” Harley answered without an infliction in his voice.
Mister Starks eyes bugged out of his skull. “WHY THE HELL DO YOU HAVE A TASER —“
Peter, standing in between, put his face in his hands and groaned.
-
MJ AND THE NERDS
Peter has added Harley to the chat
Peter : Ned and MJ, heres Harley!! Harley, heres Ned and MJ!!
Peter : ik you guys didnt get that much of a chance to talk at the meet up bc the others were there, but yeah, he knows about Spiderman, hes staying w/ Mister Stark for the summer, and he is a bit of a bitch
Harley : Thank you for the introduction Peter
Harley : Now Ned, MJ, in exchange for three (3) stories about Peter doing dumb shit in the lab that I wasn’t a part of and ten (10) blackmail worthy pictures, I would like at least five stories of him during childhood pre-Spiderman, and a list of all the dumb excuses he has used to go and do superhero shit.
MJ : Throw in five more photos specifically with him and Tony Stark and you’ve got a deal.
Harley : Done and done
MJ : DM me. Do you want the excuse list chronologically or alphabetically?
Peter : oh, god, i shouldnt have done this
-
ACADEMIC DECATHLON SQUAD
Cindy : can’t believe Peter Parker, the cinnamon roll, got us kicked out of the restaurant smh
Abe : also can’t believe Peter Parker, the kid who can’t go up the stairs without loosing breath, manage to hold down another screaming kid with a taser smh
Betty : Can’t believe Peter Parker, who is the nicest person ever, is friends with a kid who is willing to taser a person at a moments notice
Peter : i said i was sorry!! if i realized Harley would have caused a scene i wouldnt have brought him!! :(
Cindy : PLEASE don’t apologize seeing Flash put in his place was the highlight of my week
Abe : you should have let Harley actually taser him
Abe : it’s what he deserves
Betty : Agreed
Peter : uh guys Flash is still in this chat its kinda of rude to trashtalk him while hes right here?
Sally : Only you, Peter. Only you
Peter : uh what?
Peter : guys what do you mean by that
Peter : guys what the hell -
Flash : ...
-
CO-PARENT
Tony : Did you hear the kids got banned from a sandwich shop today?
May : Ugh
May : Of course they did.
-
Things kinda of calmed down after the ill-fated incident at the restaurant. They were still banned from it, obviously, but Flash hadn’t privately texted him mean comments for weeks and stopped his needling on the few shared groupchats they were in, and so far there had only been around five jokes about him getting forcibly adopted as a younger brother to some random kid none of them had ever met before.
About a month or so later, on one muggy day in August, Peter and Harley wanted to go out to eat. Tony had gone with them a few times, mostly for dinner at hole-in-the-wall places wearing sunglasses and baseball hats as if that was a good disguise, but he was stuck in a meeting Pepper had dragged him too, and he had given them permission to do whatever during the day. As long as they adhered to their usual ‘home alone’ rules. Basically, they could do nothing fun, so they went out to lunch.
(One, no testing weapons including webshooters. Two, no exploding things on purpose. Three, no making hammocks hanging over the top of tower. Four, stay away from the Ironman stuff. Five, Six, Seven, Eight ... there were a lot of rules.)
“Look, I’m just saying, math is a blue subject.” Harley was animatedly explaining, waving his hands around. Peter, a local, grabbed him just before he swerved and hit a passerbyer.
“No, it’s red. Like, look at it. It inspires anger in it me. My binder needs to represent that.” He replied.
“Nope, red is for geography.”
“Geography is green, you idiot. It’s like, nature and land and stuff.”
“Green is history.”
“Yellow is history!”
Someone, no doubt late for work as they were had half a bagel stuffed in their mouth, rushed by and nearly hit them, cutting off whatever Harley was about to say next in their argument. “God, streets are so busy here. Are you sure this is the way to the restaurant?”
“Yep, positive.” He was not positive, but he knew his way around New York pretty well, seeing he grew up there and got a birds-eye view of it weekly. “Here, there’s a shortcut down this way.”
He grabbed Harleys arm and dragged him down an alley, and came out on the other side of the street, then marched him down another sidewalk a lot quieter than the one they had been on previously. When they had turned a few corners, the crowds were basically nonexistent, but just to be safe, he cut through another alley — this one a bit bigger than the other, filled with dumpsters and trash.
Harleys nose wrinkled at the smell, but surprisingly, he didn’t comment on it. “Why didn’t we just go this way before?”
“Because I like seeing a country boy like you try and survive in the big city.” He said, putting on the heaviest New York accent he could muster. Harley rolled his eyes and slowed his walking speed down, forcing Peter to let go of his arm and slow down as well.
“Look, it’s not my fault I grew up in town with less a thousand people, while you —“
Harleys words blurred into the background when his sixth sense prickled dangerously. He could feel a phantom sensation of a pinprick on the back of his neck, and just as he heard the small click of a gun, he barrelled into Harley and knocked both of them to the ground.
“Ow, Peter, what the fuck —!”
The shot soared over their head and landed just above them on the dirty alley ground. Peter reached over and grabbed whatever it was, and saw it looked like a dart. A tranquilizer dart, most likely. Harley leaned closer to see, but then Peter felt his sense tingle once more, and he pushed Harley away and went rolling to the side just as another shot, this time smaller and louder and definitely a bullet, hit the ground right where they use to be.
“You idiot, don’t shoot him! He has to be unharmed!” Someone screamed in the direction the shots had came, and he jumped to feet and turned to see a group of four guys standing at the entrance of the alley, and when he glanced behind him, he saw another two coming from the other end of alley, effectively blocking their exits. All of them wore black ski masks and were armed with guns, and Peter slowly backed away towards the middle of the alleyway. Harley had also gotten to his feet and was staring at them with squinted eyes, and their backs hit eachother in the middle. Almost as if they practiced it, they both began slowly circling, back-to-back and facing the — attackers. Assaulters. Whatever they were.
“Uh, this is kinda of awkward.” He slipped into his Spider-man persona easily, eyes flitting between the people. “Really, guys, this is flattering, but did you really need six of you to attack two random teenagers? In the full black get up, no less.”
“What are you trying to do, emulate Batman?” Harley added.
One the guys, the one that had scolded one of the others before, stepped forward with a growl. “Surrender quietly, and without struggle, and we will let both of you live.”
“Aw, both of us?” Peter cooed. The two guys behind them had been slowly advancing forward, and he knew Harley noticed too, as his hand drifted to his inner sweater pocket where his taser was hidden. “You shouldn’t be so kind!”
“We just want you, Peter Parker.” The emphasis on his last name made his skin crawl, and he stiffened uncontrollably when he realized well, shit, they know my name. “If you come with us, your friend will live. You don’t want his death on your conscious, do you?”
“Fuck that, you’re not getting him.” Harley suddenly snapped. He whipped out his taser and sprinted towards the pair of attackers now less then a few feet from them. “On guard, bitch!”
He reached the first one and hit his neck, making him crumble in an instance before any of the other attackers could react. Peter had already moved, however, and flew over to punch the main guy in the face. He went stumbling backwards, but by then the other three guys had recovered and moved forward. Peter ducked when his sense went off, barley missing a punch from a guy behind him, and, while crouched, rammed his elbow into his stomach. While he was bent over grabbling at his middle, Peter hit him hard enough on the head, and he went down.
He desperately wished for his suit, and while the nanoparticle suit was accessible within a tap of his watch, he couldn’t suit up with the attackers in sight. The less criminals who knew about his secret identity, the better. Especially petty ones who would probably try to sell it to anyone who offered any money.
One of the other attackers attempted to shoot him, but missed without Peter even needing to dodge, nearly hitting his teammate on the ground. Peter couldn’t resist bring at them. “Hey, what’s the point of having guns if you have the same aim as Stormtroopers?”
“It makes them look threatening.” Harley suddenly quipped behind him. The other boy had apparently finished with his two attackers, and ran at the one that had shot at him, still brandishing his taser like a sword. “Just try and hit me, you won’t be able to, I bet ya’!”
“Harley!” Peter resisted the urge to turn around and see how he was doing, as another attacker ran at him like he was trying to knock him over and Peter moved out of the way. He stumbled over the spot he had just been, and he kneed him in the waist before he recovered. The man growled and suddenly whipped his gun out, but just as he was about to pull the trigger, Peter quickly grabbed the shaft of the gun and yanked it out of his hand, which sent it flying across the alley. The attacker fell over due to the imbalance, and Peter quickly knocked him out.
Huh, pretty good without the suit.
His small victory was short-lived, however, when he heard Harley yell behind him and turned to see the main guy had recovered — guess he had been too lenient on his strength, though he still had a very bloody nose and a bruise in the shape of his fingers — and now had his gun pressed to Harleys forehead and his arm wrapped around his neck it a tight grip. Harley had dropped his taser, next to an attacker immobile on the ground he must have shocked, and he was struggling in the guys grip. Peter felt a shot of fear, cold and burning at the same time, rush through him like one of bullets that had just been shooting at him.
If you come with us, your friend will live. You don’t want his death on your conscious, do you?
Do you, Peter?
“Better stand down, brat, or you’re little friend here gets it.”
“I - uh, okay.” He put his hands up, not taking his eyes away from the barrel pushed against Harley. “Okay, I stand down. Let him go, and we can - talk. Cus’ you obviously want something, right? Hate to break it to you dude, but I’m dirt poor , so you’re not getting any money from me —“
“Shut up!” The man hissed, pressing the gun deeper against Harleys skin, enough the other boy winced. “I don’t want money, you idiot. I want your dads tech, and if we have to kidnap you to do so, then so be it.”
“I - my dad?” Peter stammered. “The fuck?”
“Tony Stark.” The man replied, brows furrowing in annoyance behind his ski mask.
“I’m not Mister Starks kid.” He said, because, yeah, sure, he kinda was a father figure to him but he also knew Mister Stark was awkward around things like that so he had never brought it up, and also how the hell did a low-life criminal figure that out?
The man scoffed. “Obviously, your a kid from his playboy days. No other reason he’d hang out with a dirty ‘ orphan ’ like you who offers him nothing. Now, I want you to —“
Before the man could finish his sentence, Harley shouted “Don’t talk about my brother like that, you bitch!” and, with a now gauntlet-covered hand, broke free of the mans grip and shot him in the face.
“Harley!” He scolded as the man flew backward with such force that he hit the alley wall and crumbled to the ground. Oh, god, he was dead. Harley just murdered man. Mister Stark would have to hire a lawyer, and they would have to go to court, and Miss Potts was going to be so mad . “You killed him!”
The other boy simply snorted and flexed his fingers, making the metal creak. Why he hadn’t summoned it before, he didn’t know. He had mentioned having trouble with the summoning sequence, but none of that matter right now. “Nah, I had it on stun. He’ll be a bit bruised and probably have a broken noise because I fired it so close to his face, but he had it coming anyways.”
“Oh my god.” He muttered. “Oh my god, oh my god.”
“Okay, so, actually, fun fact — I don’t know what we do now.” Harleys one hand was still wrapped up in his gauntlet, black and gold and red, and open palmed like he was still about to shoot something. “Do we call Tony?”
He nodded vigorously, and scrambled for his phone. “Okay, yeah, we call Mister Stark. Harley, you killed a man.”
“I didn’t. He’s just stunned.”
“I’m going to jail. I’m an accomplice in murder.”
“Peter, you just beat up a whole bunch of guys too, you’re not innocent in this.”
“We are getting disowned.”
“PETER!” Harley shouting made him pause, and he looked up from where he was halfway through finding Mister Starks number when the other boy marched over, grabbed him by the shoulders, and forced him to make eye contact. “Peter, you need to calm down. He’s not dead, just unconscious. It’s not any worse did what you did, so you need to chill. Breath in, breath out, okay? You’re spiralling.”
Despite how weird it felt, Peter followed his instructions, and a few moments later, he felt a bit more calmer. Harley nodded, but didn’t take his hands away. “Secondly, even if I did kill him — which I didn’t! — he was shittalking you, so, really, it’s a fair trade.”
“I —“ He thought back to the conversation. The man hadn’t really said anything worse then Flash did - or use to. It was the first time he had been mistaken for Mister Starks son, though. But something Harley had said caught his attention more than anything else. “You called me your brother.”
“Uh, yeah.” Harley looked sheepish, finally taking his hands of his shoulders to instead grab the back of his neck with his gauntlet-free hand. “Is that okay? I mean, you are like a brother to me, but if it makes you uncomfortable —“
Peter didn’t allow him to finish, feeling his chest bloom with warmth, so to stop him before he could back himself out of being his brother Peter jumped forward and wrapped the other boy up in a tight hug. Harley stiffened, then relented and hugged him back. He was just a few inches taller then him, so Peter rested his chin on his shoulder and squeezed, just barley minding his super strength before he accidentally crushed his ribs. His earlier nerves and worries melted away when Harley curled around him slightly, and while his face was starting to hurt from smiling so much, he didn’t care at all.
“Ow, Peter, mind the strength.”
At lightening speed, he let go and jumped back. Harley rubbed his chest, but he didn’t look annoyed or angry. Just ... happy. Smiling. Still wearing his gauntlet. However, his voice was still just as normal when he asked, “That was nice, but can you call Tony now?”
“Oh, right.” He quickly unlocked his phone again — which he had still been holding during their hug — and it was still open to Mister Starks contact, so he clicked ‘call’ and let it rang.
The man picked up at the last possible moment, and Peter put him on speaker so Harley could hear him. “ Hey, Pete, this better be important because Pepper nearly kicked my ass when I left this stupid stockholders meeting to come answer. ”
“Uh, yeah, I think it’s important.” He bit his lip, feeling guilty Mister Stark might get in trouble for skipping his meeting. “Uh, I think me and Harley just almost got kidnapped?”
“ KIDNAPPED?! ” Mister Stark exclaimed. Even through the speaker, it was loud, and both of them winced.
“ Almost. ” Harley corrected primly. “We’re fine, Peter beat up most of them and I got a few down too, so don’t worry. We’re not even hurt.”
“ That is NOT what I’m worried about. ” Peter could hear rapid footsteps on the other line, and a few distant, startled yelps as Mister Stark no doubt ran down a hall towards the nearest window. “ What happened? Is there more of them? Are you okay? Who — “
“Mister Stark, we’re fine!” He said. “The guys are down, and my spidey sense isn’t going off anymore. Well, not anymore then it usually is. But we’re not hurt and no one is dead. Funny enough, they thought I was your son, and I think they were going to ransom me off for some of your tech? Anyways, uh, should we call the police now, cus’ we don’t really know what to do now —“
“ Sit tight, I’m coming to you. ” Tony said. There was a small whizz, meaning Tony was probably in his suit, and Peter glanced up to the sky to see if he could spy him flying through the air. He couldn’t, but they were at a bit of an odd angle.
“Didn’t you just say Pepper would kick you ass if you left your very important meeting?” Harley interjected.
“ Not as important as someone kidnapping my kids. ” Peters heart skipped a beat on the ‘my’ part of the sentence, but Harley didn’t seem to notice, instead barrelling on.
“ Attempting to kidnap.” The other boy corrected.
“ Semantics. I’m almost at your location. I’ll be there in less then a minute, don’t move. ”
“We didn’t even tell you —“
The line clicked off, and Peter pocketed his phone before turning to Harley with wide eyes. “Did he just call us —“
He was interrupted by the ‘whoosh’ of Iron Mans gauntlets coming to a stop beside them. The armour landed, but before it was even stabilized it was opening for Mister Stark, still wearing a fancy suit and slicked back hair, stumbled out onto the pavement. It was kinda of weird seeing him dressed for meetings, after being so used to seeing him in his ‘casual’ clothing in the lab, but before Peter could think about it too hard, his mentor rushed forward and looped an arm around each of their necks to pull them into a tight hug.
“Mister Stark?” He asked at the same time Harley said “Tony?”
“You kids are going to be the death of me, I swear.” Mister Stark said, voice loud right next to Peters ear. “If you ever — oh my god, is that guys nose broken?”
“Yeah, that’s on me.” Harley said, but Peter was more focused on the impromptu hug he was getting from his mentor.
He was too shocked to hug back, but he decided that this day immediately levelled to one of the weirdest days of his life.
-
When they got back to the Tower, after giving a ... watered down version of the events to the police and watching as all the guys were lugged into police cars, Peter and Harley collapsed on the sofa to watch TV for the rest of the day. After nearly getting kidnapped, fighting off their attackers, talking to the police, dealing with Tonys fussing and not even getting lunch, they were tired, not in the mood to mess around in the lab, and just wanted to relax.
Besides, it wasn’t like Tony would let them in the lab, as he was shoving a pre-baked frozen pizza in the oven, still in his fancy suit, looking like frazzled P.T.A mom.
“You good, Tony?” Harley asked when the man had finished putzing around the kitchen and joined them in the ‘living room’ section of the floor. He was now texting on his phone, but looked up when Harley spoke.
“Fine.” The man replied curtly. “Just dealing with the meeting I walked out of. It was nearly over anyways, but Pepper said I should have ‘explained myself to her’ before I left.” He scoffed, then continued texting. “At least she agreed with me that I had a valid reason for leaving. My interns nearly being kidnapped apparently warranted that response. By the way, I’m definitely increasing security around you guys, and putting in some new protocols too —“
Peter rolled his eyes. “Aren’t you going to let it go?”
“It happened two hours ago! I am not!” Tony exclaimed, before collapsing in between them on the couch. Harley was flicking through movies on Netflix, but sent Peter a look that read ‘you’re dealing with this’.
“We already told you and the police a dozen times, we’re fine. We didn’t even get hurt.” Peter explained, again. The older man exhaled through his nose.
“Yeah, but that’s still not going to calm my nerves, kid.” Tony replied. He sent one last text, before shutting his phone off and running his hand down his face. “And to think I have to deal with this for the rest of this year. I’m going to go grey. Or bald. Or grey then bald.”
“Wait, what do you mean the rest of this year?” Peter straightened up and leaned closer to the man, feeling confused. “Harley’s only here for a few more weeks.”
Which was - bittersweet, and all. He, surprisingly, was going to miss Harley when he went back to Tennessee for the school year and they would go back to simply texting and facetiming eachother. He knew he would also be busy with school — junior year, after all — and he would still have Mister Stark, but after earlier that day where he had basically adopted a new brother, he was a bit disappointed the summer was seeming to end so quickly.
The two other people on the couch went silent, glancing at eachother, while Peter squirmed his eyes at them suspiciously. Finally, Harley shrugged, and grinned. “Surprise?”
Shock, and small bit of hope, lit up inside him. “Wait, you’re ... staying?”
“Yeah. My mom, uh, saw how much I was enjoying myself here and her and Tony negotiated that I could spend my last school year here. And, well, I’m going to Midtown too. I passed my entrance exam about a week ago.” Harley answered. “Which, technically, I —“
“So you’re staying here for the school year? The entire school year? At Midtown?” Peter asked in disbelief.
“That is literally what I just said —“
“Ohmygodyou’regoingtogotoschoolwithmethisisgonnabegreat —!”
Before Harley and Mister Stark could react, Peter launched himself over his mentor to wrap Harley up in a tight hug. The other boy dropped the remote in shock, but Peter had already pulled back before he could do anything else, grinning broadly while rambling on a mile a minute about how cool it was that Harley was going to join him at Midtown and how fun it was going to be and —
“Pete, buddy, you’re kinda of laying on top of me.” Mister Stark said, slightly breathless. Peter looked and saw he had basically landed in his mentors lap, and he quickly scrambled back to his original spot with a sheepish ‘sorry’ while his face burned up.
“I was going to tell you at lunch today, but, well, those plans changed.” Harley said, scratching at the back of his neck awkwardly. “But I take it you’re, uh, cool with it?”
Peter was going to tell him he was an idiot if he didn’t think he was ‘cool with it’, but at that exact moment the oven beeped and Mister Stark got up to go get the pizza out of the oven. He was then aware of the fact he hadn’t lunch yet, and he had fought of their kidnappers running on nothing but a breakfast of toast, and that he was very, very hungry.
“Have you picked a movie out yet, Harley?” Mister Stark asked as Peter heard the sound of a pan being slid out from the oven, then a quietly muttered curse of, “Shit, that’s hot.”
“Yep.” Harley replied. He grabbed the remote from where he had dropped it and went back to his earlier selection. “The first Sherlock Holmes movie. You’ve ever seen it?”
“Yeah.” Peter said at the same time Mister Stark said, “No.”
“Well, we’re going to watch it.” Harley answered to both of them. “Is the pizza ready?”
“No, I just took it out of the oven when it was still cold.” Peter could hear the eye roll in his mentors voice. “Yeah, it is. Come get your food, you heathens.”
Peter, in his true spider fashion, flung himself up and over the back of the couch to rush towards the kitchen. Harley, the more civilized of the two, got up and walked around the sofa to join them while hiding his laughter.
As they all argued over who got the slices with the most pepperoni, and made fun of Harley for asking where the ranch sauce was, before making fun of Peter for picking the mushrooms off, then all settled down on the couch to watch the first Sherlock Holmes movie, Peter decided, that despite all that had happened with Harley over the summer, that for once in his life, he was excited for his new school year.
After all, Harley would be joining him, and no matter what they did together — well, it was fun.
-
ACADEMIC DECATHLON SQUAD
Peter : guess who almost got kidnapped :D
Peter : this is. the wrong chat
Peter : ignore me
Abe : Peter, what the fuck
Betty : Oh my god, are you okay?
Betty : Wait, was the right chat?
Betty : PETER, WHAT WAS THE RIGHT CHAT???
Charles : Okay, and *why* did you almost get kidnapped?
Peter : ...
Peter : funsies
-