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Fate is a fickle being. Some say she is as immovable as a mountain, while others claim she is as fleeting as the wind. The truth of the matter is that Fate is indeed set in her ways. She decides what happens in the world and which soul belongs to which. However, it is also true that she can be swayed, though only by her lover, Choice. If Choice is strong enough in her convictions she can even seduce the immovable Fate to her wishes and whims.
And because of that, there is indeed a perfect match for everyone out there. But the fact is true that even your perfect match requires you to put in work and the conscious choice to be together to last a lifetime and beyond. If one or even both souls’ wishes are strong enough, that perfect connection can be broken and reforged new — with a different match or the same one. The important part about this isn’t Fate’s plan, but Choice’s determination. Your destiny is yours, but only if you choose it to be.
Katsuki couldn’t remember a time when the name on his arm didn’t read “Deku”. He knew at some point in his life it had been “Midoriya Izuku”, but he had met his soulmate at such a young age that he couldn’t remember the change.
He also couldn’t remember a time when he had been truly alone. The soulmate connection, forged when he had first touched Deku while they were toddlers, was always a constant hum at the back of his mind. From what he heard from his parents and other bonded couples, their connection was weak, only sharing the strongest of emotional flares.
Katsuki despised it. He hated this tether, this bond he had with Deku, of all people. It bound him, keeping him in place when all he wanted was to free himself. Who was Fate to choose for him? He would much rather use his choice and be by himself, or at least with anyone who wasn't Deku.
Deku, who looked at him with pity; who thought he was better than Katsuki. Deku, who was quirkless and still insisted he wanted to be a hero, ignorant of the challenges he had to overcome and the dangers he would be in. Deku, who was always smiling, no matter how hard Katsuki pushed at him.
But what Katsuki hated the most was himself. Because in the dark hours of the night, after a long day of denying Deku, of pushing him away, when the connection was at its weakest because of the choices he had made that day, Katsuki would whisper to the name on his skin. He would press close so that his lips would brush against the dark green name and he would plead and beg, in a voice so unlike his own.
“Please don’t break. Deku is my soulmate. Midoriya Izuku is my soulmate. Please don’t break, please don’t leave me.”
Because that was what scared Katsuki most in the world. His deepest and darkest fear that he only ever whispered to the name on his skin. He didn’t want to be alone, didn’t want Deku to leave. But his honesty would leave him with every new sunrise, and the bond, which had strengthened with his pleas, would weaken again until Katsuki whispered to it at night.
He knew the reason why it hadn’t completely dissolved yet must be Deku.
Deku, who was stubborn. Deku, who didn’t know when to quit. Deku, who would still smile at Katsuki, despite everything that he had done to him.
Deku, who had made it to UA. Deku, who did have a quirk. Deku, who had lied to him for years. Deku, who had never lied to him after all.
Deku, who was his rival. Deku, who was now his equal.
Throughout the years, they had hit so many highs and lows that Katsuki was unsure where they stood anymore. Their connection was still there, as tentative as it was, even with Katsuki’s tries at mending it and their relationship. But he still wasn’t able to acknowledge Deku as his soulmate to other people. What would they think when they found out? Katsuki didn’t want to be seen as someone’s soulmate. He wanted to be seen and judged for himself and himself alone. He wasn’t ready to commit to someone on that level.
But this fear, this uncertainty paired with his temperament, turned out to be his downfall.
The day was bad.
First Katsuki managed to oversleep. He couldn’t remember a single time in his life where his inner clock hadn’t woken him up, but today it happened. Because of this, he had to cut his morning run and workout short, and his breakfast was far away from filling. On top of that, there had been two surprise quizzes in class. He was sure he had aced them, as usual, but the unexpected stress just added on top of his bad mood. Kaminari and Kirishima’s whining afterward hadn’t been helpful either.
Also, Deku had been radiating nervous energy for the whole morning, strong enough that Katsuki would’ve noticed it even without their connection. Something seemed to really bother the nerd, and Katsuki was torn between wanting to know and wanting him to get his emotions in check so they wouldn’t bleed over into him. Irritated, he rubbed at the leather band covering his wrist.
“Oh?” Kaminari said, a sly smirk on his face. “Soulmate trouble?”
“None of your fucking business, Dunce Face,” Katsuki answered through gritted teeth. Soulmates were a popular topic in class, especially since a few of their classmates had already met theirs and showed off their wrists openly and proudly. Most others chose to hide it one way or another. It was a rather private matter and prying was frowned upon. That didn’t stop some people, though.
“You never talk about this with us! You can’t blame me for being curious,” Kaminari continued. Kirishima looked at them with a frown but didn’t say anything. Katsuki could tell that his best friend was also curious but didn’t want to pry.
“Fuck off!” Katsuki snarled before grabbing his bag to walk out of the class. But before he had even taken a step, Kaminari continued, unbothered by his usual attitude.
“You know, I think the reason why you don’t wanna talk about it is that you already found your soulmate.” The smile on his face was sly, the look in his eyes promising nothing but trouble for Katsuki.
Katsuki whirled around, ready to chew out the other blond boy, but Kaminari wasn’t finished.
“My money’s on Midoriya being your soulmate!”
It seemed to Katsuki like all the air in the room had been sucked out. He could feel multiple eyes on him. Had they been that obvious? Katsuki made sure not to tell anyone about the identity of his soulmate and had never removed his wrist covering when other people were present. He knew that Deku did the same. Kaminari couldn’t know what they were to each other. He was just throwing out ideas that he knew would get under Katsuki’s skin the quickest.
Katsuki knew that Kaminari wasn’t doing this out of malice or bad intentions. He just liked to push Katsuki’s buttons until he exploded. Under normal circumstances, Katsuki would send an explosion his way and leave, ignoring the bullshit he spewed. But not today. Today had been bad enough already and Deku’s nervous energy was still buzzing under his skin. He needed to steer Kaminari away from the truth.
He stalked closer to Kaminari’s desk and slammed his sparking hand on top of it, startling the people around them.
“Listen here, Drooly. My soulmate is my business, and if you poke your nose in it one more time, I’ll blow it off.” He leaned closer, his teeth bared in a snarl. “But shitty Deku will never be my soulmate, not as long as I have something to say about that. I’d rather die than let that happen.” The moment he said it he knew it had been a mistake. He knew he had pushed it too far, but he was just so angry.
His wrist stopped buzzing. All of Deku’s emotions disappeared in an instant, only leaving a cold nothingness behind. Katsuki’s eyes snapped over to Deku’s table and their eyes met. The look in Deku’s eyes was devastated. He looked like someone had broken his heart and stomped on it. It was such a visceral reaction that Katsuki’s mind and heart should be reeling with the second-hand pain.
But there was nothing.
The realization was like a gut punch to Katsuki. He took a staggering step back from Kaminari’s desk, but before he could say anything else, Iida stepped into his line of sight.
“We need to move on to our hero classes now! Aizawa-sensei is expecting us at Ground Gamma for combat training! We don’t have time to waste here! I ask all of you to exit the classroom in an orderly fashion now!”
Around him, his classmates started to move, but Katsuki still felt like he was rooted to the spot. He desperately tried to catch Deku’s eyes again, but the other boy had turned his back on him and was talking to Iida.
“Come on, Bakubro! Let’s go,” Kirishima said as he stepped up next to him. Still feeling numb from what just happened, he fell into step with his best friend and started walking. He had the urge to rip off his wrist covering and check if Deku’s name was still branded onto his skin but at the same time, he was too afraid to do so.
What if the name was gone? What if it wasn’t? What did all of this mean?
He ignored the obvious answer, because there was no way. Deku had held onto their bond for so long, there was no way he would let go now. They had been getting better! Their bond had still been weak, yes, but it was so much more stable than it had been for all of their years in middle school. There was no way that one throwaway comment from Katsuki was enough to sever it when all the years of bullying and demeaning words hadn’t done the trick.
Right?
The rest of their classes felt like swimming through molasses. Everything was a chore and felt heavy and restraining, and without the constant buzz of Deku in his mind, Katsuki felt alone and tired. He hadn’t managed to catch the other boy alone either. Whenever he approached him, Deku conveniently had some other place to be or was talking with some of their classmates. Later in the locker room, he had changed at lightning speed and was gone before anyone else had even finished changing out of their gym clothes.
“Huh, what’s up with Midoriya?” Kirishima wondered, still looking at the door Deku had just disappeared through.
“He said he had an appointment with Recovery Girl about his arms,” Todoroki answered, and many of the others let out understanding noises. Recovery Girl could be scary, and no one wanted to make her wait. Still, Katsuki couldn’t help the feeling that Deku had just been desperate to get away from him.
Back in the dorms, he wasted no time in going to his room. He ignored the whines of Kirishima and Kaminari for tutoring or hanging out. He closed the door behind him and locked it for good measure. Then he ripped off his wrist covering.
Katsuki had inherited his mother’s perfect skin, and because of that, even his injuries rarely left permanent marks behind. No scars, no pimples or spots, not even some uneven or big pores anywhere on his body. The only part of him with a mark was his wrist.
Now it was just as flawless as the rest of his skin, and Katsuki hated it.
His skin looked as clear and smooth as the rest of his body. No trace of there ever having been something in the first place. Katsuki would’ve found it appropriate if Deku’s name had left a scar behind so that it could match the one left on his soul, but he was completely unmarked.
In his desperation, he did what he hadn’t done since their fight at Ground Beta. He lifted his wrist to his mouth and whispered against his skin.
“Deku is my soulmate. Midoriya Izuku is my soulmate. I don’t want to be alone. Izuku is my soulmate. Please don’t leave me.”
But unlike the times where he had done this before, nothing happened. No reassuring warm feeling in his chest, no strengthening of the bond that tied him to Deku. Nothing.
For the first time in his life, Katsuki was utterly alone.
The rest of the evening was spent in a numb haze. He was alone with his thoughts and feelings, and he didn’t know how to deal with it. There had always been Deku, his presence warm and reassuring even at the times when Katsuki thought he hated him. His feelings had always been a crutch Katsuki used to fight off the crippling feelings of self-doubt, and now that they weren’t there anymore, he found himself spiraling hard.
Was it a surprise that his bond with Deku had broken? When Katsuki was such a horrible person, with no redeeming qualities at all? He had been strong as a child, sure, but now in the world of real heroes, he was feeling small and wholly inadequate. Of course, Deku wouldn’t want to be bound to him anymore, not after witnessing how many other amazing people there were out there.
The thing that Katsuki had always known, that he had finally fully realized and accepted after Ground Beta, was that Deku had always been a hero at heart. There was something about him that made people trust in him, that told them everything would be okay. And Katsuki had relied on Deku to save him way too often in the past, even if both of them hadn’t known or realized it at the time.
He spent the whole night tossing and turning, sleep always eluding him. There was just so much noise in his head that he couldn’t quiet down, and in heavy contrast to that was the empty, quiet spot where Deku used to be.
An hour before his alarm would’ve gone off, he gave up and got out of bed. He gathered his shower things and walked downstairs towards the communal baths. Maybe a hot shower would help clear his head. He was sure in the light of day things wouldn’t look so bleak and dire anymore. It had always been that way before, after all.
The only difference was that before, he still had Deku.
For the whole day, Katsuki was even grumpier than usual and quicker to snap at people. Whenever he got the chance his eyes were glued to Deku, but the other never looked back. But Katsuki couldn’t help but notice how tired Deku looked, as if he too hadn’t been able to sleep a wink last night.
A faint hope fluttered to life in his chest. Maybe there was still a way to fix this.
But did he want to fix it? After all, he’d always said he didn’t need a soulmate. He would climb the steps towards his dream on his own without the help of anyone else. And this way, Deku wasn’t bound to someone who had only ever belittled him throughout their lives. Deku had a chance of finding someone worthy to be with him.
One look at Deku’s tired eyes and his tense shoulders decided for him. Katsuki hadn’t been worthy of Deku in the past, but he could work on himself to become the man Deku deserved at his side. He wanted to be that man, to be the hero Deku had always seen in him.
So this decision found him standing in front of Deku’s room in the evening, late after everyone had already gone to bed. He wasn’t sure what he wanted to say, but he knew he didn’t want to spend another night like the last. Even if they couldn’t fix this right away, Katsuki knew he needed to do something .
He knew he would never forgive himself otherwise.
He lifted his hand and knocked. He could hear some shuffling behind the door before it opened, and he found himself face to face with Deku for the first time since their connection had been broken. Up close, he looked even worse, with deep bags under his eyes and hair in complete disarray.
“Kacchan,” he said, clearly surprised. “Do you need anything?”
“I need to talk to you, can I come in?”
For a second Katsuki was sure Deku would refuse and close the door on him, but then he nodded and stepped aside. Once Katsuki was inside, he wasn’t sure what to do. Should he keep standing? Should he take a seat? Deku took that choice out of his hands by taking a seat on his bed and gesturing to his desk chair.
Katsuki didn’t know how to begin. He had thought about what he would say all day, but now that he was here, his mind was empty. He looked over at Deku, but the other wasn’t looking back at him. His green eyes were focused on the floor, his hands twisting nervously in his lap.
“What is it, Kacchan?” he said after a while where Katsuki hadn’t said anything. “It’s late and I should really go to bed. I’m surprised you’re still awake.”
“I can’t sleep,” Katsuki blurted out and wanted to hit something. Preferably himself. He could see the confused frown on Deku’s face, but still the other wasn’t looking at him.
“That’s a problem, but I’m not sure how I can help you with that—”
“I’m sorry!” he interrupted, the desperation winning over his hesitance and pride. That made Deku look up, his eyes wide and round in shock.
“I’m sorry, okay? I shouldn’t have said it,” he continued, wanting to get this stupid talk over with. The flickering emotions in Deku’s eyes dulled again and he smiled. It was fake, and Katsuki hated it.
“Don’t worry, Kacchan, I know you didn’t mean it like that. But it’s fine; you don’t have to worry about it.”
“How is this fine?” The blood was pulsing in Katsuki’s ears. He wanted to take Deku by the shoulders and shake him. There was no way he could mean that.
“I mean, isn’t this what you’ve wanted?” Deku asked, and the smile on his face was still so hollow and brittle that Katsuki feared it would crumble to dust. “You never wanted to be my soulmate. Now you don’t have to be.”
Katsuki was out of his seat and across the room before he fully realized that he was moving. He grabbed Deku by the shoulders and pulled him closer to the edge of the bed, his eyes wide and desperate.
“Never say that again! Never! I was a stupid brat who didn’t deserve you, and I regret it! You are my soulmate, and I don’t want it to be anyone else ever, you hear me, you shitty nerd?!” He wasn’t sure what kind of face he was making, but it seemed to shock Deku, who couldn’t look away from him. He almost wouldn’t have noticed the tears dripping down his face if they hadn’t landed between Deku’s freckles, making them shine in the dim light of the room.
“Kacchan…” Deku said, his eyes wavering and filling with tears.
“You don’t believe me, do you?” Katsuki whispered and Deku closed his eyes with a sob. But the fact that he didn’t pull away from Katsuki’s touch gave him the courage to make the next move.
He slid his hands away from Deku’s shoulders, down around his back and pulled him into a real hug. There was almost no hesitation before Deku returned the embrace. Katsuki didn’t know how long they sat there clinging to each other. He didn’t care.
“I want to,” Deku whispered after a while, his voice hoarse from crying. “I want it so bad, Kacchan.”
“Then I’ll prove it to you,” Katsuki decided. “I don’t care how long it takes, but I’ll prove it to you until you believe me. I’ll choose you over and over again until you’re sick of me.”
Deku giggled, and the feeling of it against his skin made Katsuki shiver.
“Okay,” he agreed. They didn’t move from their spot on Deku’s bed, and Katsuki didn’t notice they fell asleep until he was awoken by Deku’s obnoxious alarm. His arm was numb where Deku laid on it for the entire night, and there was dried drool sticking to his skin and his shirt, but one look at Deku made all of this worth it. More so, all of this seemed perfect to Katsuki.
He would show Deku this was where he belonged, right by Katsuki’s side, and he wouldn’t stop until they had reforged their connection. And even after, he wouldn’t stop. He would never take Deku for granted ever again.
Their broken connection wasn’t healed overnight. Once a bond was broken it was hard to reestablish, but Katsuki was determined. He kept his promise and kept on choosing Deku over and over again. He went out of his way to spend time with him, be it studying, training, or sometimes just hanging out in one of their rooms together.
He started cooking meals for him and helped him with his arm stretches. And after he learned how sometimes Deku was in pain from his old injuries, he learned how to best massage his hands and arms to lessen that strain.
Once Deku believed that this wasn’t something Katsuki did out of guilt but because he wanted to be with Deku and with no one else, his whole demeanor changed. He was happier than before, and he was freer with his affections. Now that he knew he was allowed to, he went to Katsuki first when he had a question or wanted someone to talk to about his analysis books.
They spent long afternoons discussing their quirks, their fights, and how to improve. They came up with combo attacks and practiced them, and when they were able to successfully use them in training, nothing held Deku back from hugging him in front of everybody.
Katsuki didn’t mind—he welcomed it, even. When Kirishima and Kaminari asked him about it, he proudly told them that of course he and Deku were close; they were soulmates, after all. It didn’t matter that they hadn’t regained the names on their wrists or their mental connection yet. Katsuki knew he would never choose anyone else besides Deku, and in the end, it wouldn’t matter if they were true soulmates or not.
Katsuki had decided on Deku, and he would never again regret this decision, and he knew Deku felt the same way.
One evening only a few months before graduation and almost an entire year since their connection had been broken, he was in Deku’s room again. They had originally met up to study but ended up rewatching an old All Might cartoon instead. They were sitting side by side on Deku’s bed, their sides touching. Deku’s head was resting on Katsuki’s shoulder, and Katsuki’s arm was slung around Deku’s waist.
Between their internships, training, and school they didn’t have much time for moments like this anymore, and Katsuki relished them. Especially since lately, he’d been thinking about the other aspect of soulmates more.
Before, it had only been about the companionship for him, the loneliness in his mind driving him crazy. But now that he accepted Deku in every way, he noticed how he wanted more. He didn’t want to be Deku’s platonic soulmate, he wanted to be his everything.
Just like Deku was for him.
So he gathered his courage and pressed a kiss against Deku’s forehead. When the other looked up at him, confused but hopeful, Katsuki couldn’t help but smile.
“Hey, nerd,” he said, and before Deku, he hadn’t known his voice could be so soft. “I love you.”
And Deku answered him in turn, but not in the way Katsuki had expected. All at once, there was a rush of emotions that were not his own, and the empty corner of his mind was filled with Deku, Deku, Deku . He let out a gasp at all the joy he felt, at all the trust, all the love that Deku felt for him.
Without the need for further words, they came together, their lips meeting in a gentle kiss, their hands finding each other, their wrists once more marked with their soulmate’s name.
Deku and Kacchan.
Because they were fated to always be with each other, but also because they had chosen to be. And they would keep on choosing each other again and again till the end of this life and long into the next one.