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“Damn it, Buck! You are not going up there!” Bobby Nash had been the Captain at the 118 for long enough that he knew when it was getting risky for his firefighters. However, his newest firefighter, Evan ‘Buck’ Buckley, had a knack for getting himself into trouble by running head first into the danger before he even considered what he was doing.
“Cap, I can make it. We can’t just leave a kid up there while you try and come up with a plan!” Buck shouted back in response, his chest puffing up in determination. Buck was reckless in the eyes of some people, but it was more because now that he was in Los Angeles everyone looked at him as if he was too young to have experience or understanding of the consequences of his actions.
“I’m telling you Buck, that house is going to flashover before you have time to get in and back out. I know you haven’t been to a call like this, but I have, and you don’t have the time,” Bobby argued back as he tried to settle his hand on Buck’s shoulder. The action was done partially out of wanting to comfort his young firefighter, it was always hard to lose a victim during a fire but it was harder to lose a child, and partly to stop him from running head first into danger.
“Bobby, I've seen plenty of fires like this, I know what it is going to do! Damn it, I’m not some rookie, I’ve done my time, I’ve done my training. I can make it, I’ve done it before and I can do it again!” Buck hated the fact that Bobby seemed to have only read the first page of his file and ignored the rest. It was like everyone in Los Angeles took one look at him and assumed that he had just decided to sign up to the Fire Academy when he arrived.
He knew that he was right, and he knew that Bobby was cautious, but for this occasion he was not going to waste any more time arguing with him. He knew that in the eyes of everyone at the 118 he was just another firefighter, none of them knew that he held another rank. They didn’t know that he had been a member of the elite. They didn’t know that before he had joined the 118 he had been a member of the Rescue Squad.
“There are consequences to your actions, Buck!” Bobby tried to yell at the youngest member of the 118 but it was too late. The Pennsylvian native had taken the few seconds that it had taken Bobby to process his argument as a time to run head first into the danger. “That boy is going to get himself killed someday. It’s as if he has no sense of self-preservation,” the captain muttered as he watched Buck race his way up the ladder at the side of the house towards the young boy.
--
Evan ‘Buck’ Buckley needed a fresh start. He had fought as hard as he could to get back to where he needed. He had fought to get back to where he had been before the accident. But, while he had gotten back to where he needed to be, he couldn't quite find his footing in Chicago. He wanted to stay but he needed a fresh start without all the shadows of his past chasing after him.
“You’re transferring to the 118 as a firefighter, you’re not even going for Squad? Are you mad?” Kelly asked as he looked at the transfer confirmation papers that Buck had just received. He wasn’t annoyed at Buck for leaving, he couldn’t blame him. After everything that had happened recently, a fresh start was what they needed.
“I don’t know if I could do it, Kel,” Buck answered as he swung himself onto the sofa beside the older man. He winced slightly as he took the pressure off of his right leg, it still felt tender at times, the prosthetic rubbing against the remainder of his leg. It was still taking him time to get used to it. “I don’t know if I can do rescues on the scale that rescue squad will, not now. Not with this,” He argued as he knocked his fist against his prosthetic.
Kelly could only sigh as he wrapped an arm around Buck’s shoulders and pulled him in close. He had known that Buck was having a bit of a self-esteem crisis, but he never thought that he would have to argue with him about his own self worth. However, if that was what was needed then that was what he would do.
“Evan, you damn well know that you could do anything that you put your mind to!” Kelly sighed, he hated the damage that had been done to Buck and his mental wellbeing, especially since the accident, but he knew that a lot of it dated back to his childhood. Being told that he wouldn’t be able to do something.
“I’m missing half my leg, Kelly. How am I meant to keep up with the other firefighters on a Rescue Squad? You know how much it takes to perform the rescues to the standard needed. I’m lucky to be a firefighter at all!” Buck tried to argue, but he could feel the way that Kelly was gearing up to change his mind. He knew what was coming. He knew that Kelly was going to start lecturing him about what he had been through and what he could still do.
“You’d been back on Truck for four months, and now you’re on Squad. You’re keeping up with us. You just need some more time. That’s all, Buck, time. You know that, you know that no one even realises now. You could go to LA and join a Rescue Squad, no one would have to know if you didn’t want them to,” Kelly’s argument was sound. It hit all of the points that he had been worrying about ever since the accident.
Buck knew that it was vain, he knew that he shouldn’t be ashamed, he should be proud of all that he had been through but he didn’t want anyone to know about his amputation. He didn’t want to answer questions about how he managed to be a firefighter while he was missing half his right leg. He wanted to be seen as normal.
“I can’t argue with that, now, can I?” Buck relented before he pulled himself out of Kelly’s embrace, shifting so that he was able to remove the prosthetic.
--
He had wanted to give Buck the benefit of the doubt after he disobeyed his orders not to enter the house to rescue the child. It had been a miracle that Buck had managed to get himself and the child to safety. But Bobby was beginning to regret it, he was beginning to regret ever agreeing to Buck joining the 118 to begin with. The young man was a danger magnet.
But it wasn’t even just the fact that he was a danger magnet, it was the fact that the man had no concept of self-preservation or that he had to leave things up to those who were better trained and better experienced. Until now, whilst he would do things that Bobby was not comfortable with, he had never stepped over the line into performing rescues that were assigned to specialised Firefighters such as the Rescue Squad. But today, he had crossed the line.
“We call in the Rescue Squad for a reason! They are trained specifically for this type of stuff, Buck! You’re not trained for it! You don’t have the experience for it!” Bobby yelled as soon as they stepped out the fire engine upon arriving back at the 118. He couldn’t believe the audacity of the man, he had told them that he had called for one of the Rescue Squads. He had told them that they were on their way, and all they could do was wait until they arrived. But no, Buck had decided to descend down the cliff side until he could reach the car, and whilst they had learnt how to do rope rescues in the fire academy, it wasn’t to the same skill level as the Rescue Squad, it wasn’t to the skill level that was required for the call that they had received.
“Bobby…”
“It’s Captain Nash, Buck. We get along, but you can’t just disobey an order and put yourself and others into danger! Not when you don’t have the training!” Bobby yelled again. Hen and Chim had frozen as Buck stood in front of Bobby, his shoulders pushed back and his chest puffed out. It was obvious that there was going to be an argument, a real argument where Buck was going to give as good as he could give.
“Captain Nash, if I am to do you the honour of respecting your rank and experience, do me the honour of respecting mine! Read more than just the first page of my file. Look at my job history. Or you know, you could just google me, Evan Buckley, Chicago FD, Squad 3. Trust me, there is plenty on there!” Buck yelled back. Bobby couldn’t help but take a step back as the anger that came from the young man exploded out in his direction. It took him a minute to process what Buck was saying.
“No, you came to us after the fire academy,” Bobby tried to argue. There was no way that the young man standing before him could have served elsewhere. He was too young, he was definitely too young to have been a part of Rescue Squad. “You can’t have been a member of a Rescue Squad. Why else would they have sent you to the 118, when they could have put you on the Rescue Squad?” He couldn’t help but argue with the young man, he had to. It was the only way that he could process what was being said.
“I requested it. I came from the fire academy because they wanted to make sure that I was fit for service after an accident on the job! I know what I am talking about Captain Nash. It’s you who needs to look into what they are talking about!” Buck took a step back. He was angry, he was fed up of being told what he could and couldn’t do, that was one thing that Bobby could see clear as day.
Bobby watched as Buck let out a deep breath before he spun on his heel and started to walk towards the locker room. It was obvious to Bobby that the man was trying to avoid any more confrontation, and as much as he could understand that, he wanted nothing more than to finish this conversation. He wanted to make sure that he had all the answers, and he wanted them now.
“Buck!”
“It is the end of my shift, I have been on shift for nearly 36 hours now, and I am going home, sir. Anything else you need to know, it’s in my file!” Buck yelled over his shoulder before the sound of his locker slamming open echoed through the firehouse. Bobby knew that he had pushed the young man to that point, but he was justified, wasn’t he? Buck had been reckless, and he should have informed Bobby of his training instead of believing that Bobby had read his file. Shouldn’t he have?