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Eddie was in a good mood. In fact, he had been in a good mood for weeks, and he suspected that feeling would last till Christmas. Because why wouldn't it? Eddie loved Christmas. So did Christopher and Buck. And since Maddie and Chimney were still out of town, Eddie was certain Buck would stay with them. Because why shouldn't he? He surely wasn't going to be with Taylor. Right? Because the very reason Eddie had been in such a happy mood was because of her. Or the fact that Buck's relationship with her was coming to an end. Eddie was certain of that as well. He did have a small part in him that felt guilty wishing for Buck's relationship coming to an end, but he just couldn't help it.
”What are you so happy about?”
Buck's voice made Eddie snap out of his thoughts. He hadn't even heard Buck coming in to the locker room.
”Nothing. Just excited about Christmas.” Eddie smiled to himself as he buttoned up his shirt.
”Yeah, three whole days of freedom from work...” Buck only hummed with a wry smile, which was unusual of him when talking about Christmas. Eddie then wondered if it was because of Maddie, Chimney and Jee-Yun. Perhaps he still wished they would come back in a few days and hadn't even thought he was welcomed to spend Christmas with him and Christopher. Because that was such a Buck thing to think and Eddie realized he had to change that.
”Hey, since abuela and Tia Pepa are both going to El Paso this Christmas, me and Christopher are going to be just by ourselves.” Eddie started to speak and fixed his gaze at Buck who was mostly changed as well already. Eddie had to fight to keep his eyes at the line of Buck's face. ”I'm sure Christopher would be happy for you to join us.”
Buck turned his head sharply to look at him, his eyes first full of surprise and awe, but then a wide smile appeared on his lips and he tilted his head down. Eddie felt his heart swell a little as he examined Buck's reaction. But then the smile suddenly died down, as Buck's eyes were still cast down, so Eddie didn't see the expression there.
And when Buck finally spoke, it sounded like he had to force the words out. ”I uh- I would love to, but I promised Taylor to go and visit her aunt at Oklahoma.” He looked up at him with a tinier smile now.
To Eddie, it felt like Buck had just punched the air out of his lungs and he had to suck in a breath. He then nodded and quickly turned towards his locker once more, but all he could do was to stare inside of it, since he had nothing he needed in there.
”Eddie, I'm sorry...”
Eddie could hear Buck step closer and he quickly closed the locker. It banged loudly, a thing he hadn't meant to do.
”You don't need to apologize.” He hurried to say as he turned towards Buck but was unable to keep an eye contact for far too long. ”I'm sure you'll have a great time with Taylor.”
”With Taylor? Where?” Hen had now stepped inside the locker room and was observing them with a deep frown between her eyebrows.
At first Eddie was glad she had come to save him from himself, but then she set on looking at him, like she saw through all his bullshit and all Eddie wanted to do was to sink through the floor and disappear.
”We uh- we are going to see her aunt at Oklahoma during Christmas.” Buck told her as well and Eddie swallowed hard to get that lump down that had rose to his throat.
”Really?” Hen sounded doubtful, like Buck had just told a big fat lie to her.
”What do you mean?” Buck frowned at her.
”It seems very serious.” Eddie then chimed in to the conversation. It sounded like his voice was two octave higher than normal. Buck turned around to look at him with that same frown. ”I mean, for a guy who thought his girlfriend was breaking up with him two weeks earlier.”
”Well, yeah, but it's been two weeks.” Buck shook his head in disbelief. Clearly not amused by their thoughts. ”And we said our firs love confessions already, so it's not such a big deal.”
To that, Eddie felt like someone had made the floor disappear from underneath him and he was falling. Rapidly. They were serious? He had thought by teasing Buck that he'd come to the same conclusion he had came with Ana. To make him doubt. But they were really serious.
Eddie had no idea how long he just stood there, staring ahead of himself into nothing, until Hen stepped into his view and placed a soft, reassuring hand to his shoulder, snapping him out of his thoughts.
”You okay?”
”Yeah, why wouldn't I be.” Eddie lied as fast as he could and fled the scene, making extra sure not to even glance towards Buck, whose eyes burned holes to the back of his head.
Eddie headed straight to the toilets and closed the door behind him, locking it with shaky hands. He leaned against the wall and took a deep breath through his nose and then slowly let it out. He felt sweat linger at his forehead and his hands had started to shake. He fisted them and banged the tile wall behind him as silently as he could with his right hand. He continued to breathe through the suffocating feeling that had settled itself around his chest and heart, which also felt like someone was stabbing through it with a little, but sharp, knife.
Eddie's dilemma did another backslash when he told Christopher that it would be only the two of them this Christmas. His son had been furious to him and if he had had a bowl nearby, he certainly would have dropped it to the floor, and perhaps kicked it as well. Because, Eddie had been an idiot and told Christopher he would ask Buck to come and stay with them during Christmas. Which was a really dumb move, and now he was suffering because of it. He really hadn't thought there would be an alternative for Buck. Perhaps that he was going to have Christmas meal in the Grand-Nash household, but he could've joined them after that.
Eddie cursed himself for the millionth time. It took him half a day to calm Christopher down and resume to their plan to go and see Santa at the mall. He had planned to ask Buck to join them, but... it didn't feel like such a good idea anymore.
The Christmas spirit was definitely down as they drove to the mall. Neither of them had anything to say and they were both sulking inside their own heads. But once they got there, they managed to get something else to think about and laughed together to the funny toys at one of the stores, and just enjoyed the beautiful Christmas atmosphere at the mall, listening to the happy songs.
But the line to see the Santa was long. Eddie was willing to do anything to make his son happy, but even Christopher seemed uneager to wait that long. And so, the Christmas spirit that they had managed to catch, died down pretty quick, as they slowly made their way outside and towards the car. Eddie then remembered the Christmas market, where Santa would most likely be as well. As they got to the car, he quickly checked that Santa Claus' schedule and nudged his son's side.
”You know, Santa's going to be at the market in an half an hour and if we're patient enough, we might be the first in line.”
Christopher narrowed his eyes at him. ”How? Dad, you saw how long that line was inside the mall.”
Eddie felt his stomach drop. His son was fast coming to an age of not believing in Santa and it made him feel sad. How come time went by so fast? But he wasn't going to let Christopher lose his faith just yet and so he leaned a bit closer and whispered, like he was telling a big secret.
”But you know Santa has to have some magic powers, right? At least a time machine to get through every single household in the whole world in just one day.”
Christopher eyed at him a moment longer, and for a second, Eddie thought his game was up, but then a wide smile appeared on his son's face.
”Let's go see Santa.”
Eddie smiled as well. ”Let's go.”
Eddie hadn't prepared to the lonely feeling he had when he stood there alone, waiting for Christopher to join him after talking with the Santa Claus. Eddie hadn't been allowed to join him, but he knew Christopher would tell him what he wished at night. That had become a tradition after telling him about his wish to get his mother back a few years ago. Once again, Eddie was left to ponder where all the time had gone.
Eddie looked around himself, noticing all the couples, talking to themselves as they waited for their kids. He then noticed the water moving behind him and he glanced behind himself to see the fountain behind him. Eddie swallowed as he remembered the time he and Buck had waited for Christopher together. Only if he had been strong enough to tell Buck how he felt back then, but his head had been all over the place.
Eddie tried to ignore the sound of the fountain and the lights that the decorations around him reflected, and fixed his attention to Christopher. Luckily, it didn't take long for his son to get to the Santa and he was escorted to him by one of the elves.
”Did you remember to tell everything you wanted?” Eddie beamed at Chris, who nodded at him firmly.
”I only had one wish.” Christopher told him, which surprised him. He remembered the overly long list his son had given him over a month ago. There were certainly more than one thing, and nothing had stood out to him.
Eddie ruffled Christopher's hair and said thanks to the helping elf. He thought he saw her look around and then smile at him sadly. Were elves feeling the doomed Christmas spirit as well? Maybe she was just fed up with her job.
That night, Eddie tried to look for recipes to prepare the most simplest Christmas meal there was. Which seemed like an impossible task. Everything he looked at had either insane amount of ingredients or would take at least half a day to prepare. He gave up fairly quickly as his mood started to drop and instead send a message to his abuela to ask her what he should buy.
He then glanced over at Christopher who was watching some old looking cartoon film where a shaman tried to ruin Christmas by making Santa sick. It was pretty entertaining and Christopher smiled widely while watching it. The kid's spirit had gone up after talking with the Santa Claus, but he still hadn't shared his wish with him. But then Christopher leaned closer to him, like he had read his thoughts.
”You know what I wished from Santa?” He then whispered, like sharing a secret and Eddie shook his head slightly. ”For him to bring Buck to spend Christmas with us.”
Eddie could feel the smile die down on his face and like someone had dropped a cold stone on top of his heart. He had to look away for a moment, to not let that sadness show and collect himself before facing his son again.
”I wish it comes true.” He then said and smiled sadly at Christopher, who seemed completely unaware of the hesitation in his voice.
”I know it will.” Christopher then said out loud, his voice full of confidence, and Eddie could feel himself spiraling.
Was this it? Was this the last happy Christmas for Christopher? He would never believe in Santa Claus after such a crappy Christmas they would have. He had to buy something extremely valuable and wanted to get at least some joy into this nightmare. Was he really considering calming his son down with expensive gifts? Eddie rubbed his eyes tiredly. This Christmas would suck.
Buck swore Eddie had become sassy as hell during the last two days. He came back with a snarky line every single time someone said something. No matter the subject. Buck knew he was pissed as hell, but he had no idea why and he was afraid to ask. And it seemed everyone else were also, as they often shared glances with exaggeratedly high eyebrows.
Buck mulled over the possibilities to get Eddie to a better mood. It took him criminally long to find out the solution, but that still hadn't been the easiest part. He asked Bobby to give him all of their work schedules and went through them one by one, marking all their free times to a piece of paper, but it was almost impossible to line up everyone's free days. It seemed Hen had taken some extra shifts again to make sure she didn't have to work on Christmas in case of emergency and probably to pay the medical school as well. Bobby had some days off but they didn't line up with Eddie's. Buck rubbed his tired eyes, but then decided there was only one solution. So, he took out his phone and called Taylor.
The party would be 24th of Christmas. A day he and Taylor were supposed to leave for Oklahoma, but he had managed to talk her into changing their plane tickets to the late night of 24th. Which, hadn't been an easy task, but they had managed to get another tickets. Their seats would be at the opposite ends of the plane but it would only be for three hours. He could live with that, even more so when he managed to get a smile on Eddie's face as he told him about his plan. It was totally worth the hassle.
So, Buck was in a good mood once the 23rd arrived. He had talked non-stop to Taylor about what he would bring to the party and how awesome it would be to get everyone together just before Christmas. He reminisced the Christmas party they had had at the fire station two years ago and even thought she had been against the plan at first, his enthusiasm slowly caught up to her as well.
The party was held in a small park, where they had rented ten sets of tables, in which one was full of food and drinks. Everyone had brought something. Buck couldn't have planned all this alone. Athena had helped a great deal together with May. Bobby had insisted on bringing a barbeque, just to be sure everyone would have enough food.
Buck had driven Eddie and Christopher there, since Taylor would join them later and he could get back home in her car. Christopher seemed excited and his smile widened even more when Buck told him his secret: Santa had stopped by his place a day earlier and dropped off a few gifts to him and his dad. Eddie had looked at him with amused smile, but hadn't said a word.
Buck liked to observe people while they were having fun. Hen, Karen and Denny were getting around the park, talking with everyone in there, making them all feel like home. Athena and Bobby were like glued to each other. It seemed their kids spending a bit more time away did good to their relationship, although Buck didn't want to think about that much deeper. He still had nightmares of them making out on top of the captain's turn-out-gear. Buck shuddered every time his eyes landed on the gear with the name Nash behind it.
But most of all, Buck's attention were on the two Diaz boys. Christopher was busy tearing open one of the gifts he had bought to the boy and gleamed in joy as he saw the drone in it. Eddie looked over it him with mortified expression and mouthed something that resembled 'what the fuck, buck'. All Buck could do was shrug. The kid deserved some nice things, and what would be better than to observe the city from above?
”You really bought him a drone? I thought you were only kidding...”
Taylor's voice startled him. He had almost forgotten she was coming. Almost.
”Of course I wasn't kidding. That kid deserves it.”
”Yeah, but why would you buy something so expensive? To a ten year old kid?” She sounded sincere and looked at him with wide eyes, still clearly not quite believing he had done that. ”You're not even his uncle.”
Buck paused for a moment as he thought about his reply, because that wasn't an easy one. He hadn't thought what he was to Christopher. Not very deeply at least. Not since Eddie had revealed his will to him, which had naturally lead him to think about it, but he hadn't come up with a satisfying answer. Because he didn't feel like an uncle, since he now knew what it felt like being an uncle to Jee-Yun, which he missed terribly. He didn't feel like... just a friend either.
”You don't know, do you?” Taylor immediately caught up his hesitation. ”Don't tell him he's like your own kid...” She then sipped a wine from his glass, which Buck hadn't even noticed before. She must've picked it up before seeking him out.
”I uh-” Buck blinked and forced his eyes away from the Diaz boys to look at her. He opened his mouth to deny her claim, but not a sound came out. Just before the moment of silence between them stretched too long, he noticed Christopher walking towards them, with Eddie lingering behind.
”Hi, superman!” Buck greeted the kid with a wide smile, which was reflected back at him. He then noticed something sticking on Christopher's hand, like a piece of paper. ”What do you have there?”
”A Christmas card.” Chris replied as he finally stopped in front of him and fought with his crutch so he could give the card to him.
Taylor suddenly reached over to take the crutch from Christopher and held it in her hands a little awkwardly. Christopher glanced towards her but didn't say a word, only stretching his hand out to Buck.
Buck took the card with a wide smile and glanced towards Eddie over Christopher's head, who was smiling towards them, but it looked a bit sad. Buck felt worry stab his chest, but only for a moment, as he concentrated back to the card and read out loud.
”Dear, Buck. We wish you a merry Christmas and hope Santa loves you as much as we do to give you a big present. With love, Christopher, Eddie and Walrus.” Buck couldn't help the tears that rose to his eyes as he read out the card, but paused for a moment at the Walrus name, until he remembered it had been Christopher's hamster, which had sadly passed away half a year earlier. Chris had named it Walrus since, according to Eddie, it had looked like one to Christopher. Buck smiled even wider to the memory.
”Thank you so much, Christopher. I'll take this with me to Oklahoma.” Buck promised and held it against his chest, like his most valuable belonging, before giving the kid the biggest hug.
But as he stood back up, he saw Christopher's face falter and a pondering frown appeared on his face.
”Hey, what is it?”
”Are you still going to Oklahoma?” Christopher asked then, at the same time chewing at the inside of his cheek, looking much like his father when he was sad.
Buck glanced once again towards Eddie, who was looking straight at him with a solemn expression, also looking a bit lost. ”Uh- yeah...” Buck then replied and looked back down at Chris.
”But I asked Santa for you to spent Christmas with us...”
”Christopher...” Eddie was suddenly beside his son and leaned down to crouch at his level. ”Come on, we talked about this.”
”But Dad...” Christopher raised his voice, but his father cut him off.
”I know you're upset, but you can see Buck once he gets back.” Eddie insisted, raising his voice a little as well, but not because he was angry, just to get his point across. ”Remember that we promised to smile to Buck and say goodbye before leaving, okay?”
Buck felt his stomach sank. ”You-you guys are leaving already?”
Eddie glanced up at him and gave him a small nod. ”We promised to visit abuela and give her and Tia Pepa a ride to the airport.” He told him as he stood up.
Eddie then seemed to hesitate for a moment, before stepping in front of him and opening his arms, gesturing for a hug, the most awkward way Buck had ever seen. He didn't hesitate to open his arms as well and Eddie squeezed him fast before patting his back two times and quickly stepping away, looking everywhere but him. Eddie suddenly fixed his gaze towards Taylor and reached over to her. Buck watched the way Taylor's face turned pale as ash as she thought Eddie was coming to hug her as well before Eddie moved his fingers slightly, to make her know he was after Christopher's crutch. She gave it back to him as fast as she could, looking like she was relieved beyond measure. Buck wondered why it would be so hard for her to even think about giving Eddie one quick hug. Eddie's hugs were usually the best in the world, if this one didn't count. It had felt like he had hugged a statue.
”Anyway, we're heading off.” Eddie told then, squeezing his son's shoulder reassuringly before fixing his gaze finally at Buck. ”Merry Christmas.” He then nodded tightly and Buck watched with heavy heart as they turned to walk away.
”Do you want something to eat?” Taylor asked once Eddie and Christopher were across the park.
Buck had to fight to tear his eyes away from the two and to shake his head at her. He had to clear his throat to get his voice audible. ”No, I'm not hungry.”
”We'll be away only for few days.” Taylor told him then, caressing his arm, which he knew was supposed to feel comforting, but Buck just wasn't feeling it right now.
”I know, it's just...” Buck closed his eyes and sighed. He felt so conflicted right now. ”There's just the two of them. For the first time ever and I think Christopher needs me-”
”You want to cancel our trip then?” Taylor's voice slashed out so fast, Buck almost startled.
”Yes, I mean- no, of course not, but-”
She let out a fake laugh and had to look away from him. ”I am not canceling on my aunt. Who is, by the way, alone if we don't go there.” She then fixed her gaze at him, a challenging gaze. ”You need to decide who do you want to spent your Christmas with more, me or them. I've had enough of this party.”
Buck could only watch as Taylor dunked the last of her wine. ”Meet me at the airport when you've made the decision.” She then turned around to head off, or more like storm off.
Buck managed to get a ride home from May and cursed his life as he stepped inside the empty apartment. Taylor had clearly been there long enough to take her traveling bag to her apartment. Buck hated to come to an empty apartment. He looked at his watch. The flight would leave in three hours, so he needed to make up his mind asap.
He walked tiredly to the couch and collapsed on top of it, leaning his head to the back rest. In ideal world, he could've asked Taylor to spent Christmas here and they could stay at Eddie's house, but then again, Eddie didn't like Taylor much either. Buck buried his face to his hands and groaned out loud. But then a realization hit him: this wasn't even a decision, since he knew with who he wanted to spend Christmas with.
Taylor felt anxious. She had high hopes for Buck to follow her and they could spent their first Christmas together, but there was only an hour before the flight would leave and if she didn't go through the security soon, she wouldn't be able to get to the plane at all.
But she wasn't sure what would happen if Buck didn't show up. Was it a sign to break up with him or would it just put their conversation to a hold, until she returned? Had they had a fight in the first place? She had always had a hard time understanding Eddie and Christopher's role in Buck's life. They seemed to hover there in every conversation they had, even though Taylor had barely seen the two. Eddie still hated her guts, that was for sure.
Taylor looked around once more, but the airport was packed with people. All trying to get home for Christmas. They were loud and she got pushed side to side every now and then. She cursed Buck for not leaving day earlier as they had planned. All of this could've been avoided. When she realized there was no way to spot Buck in all this havoc, she sighed to herself and turned towards the security check-point. But just as she was about to take a step towards it, she hear a familiar voice call out her name.
Taylor felt extremely relieved and happy to see Buck's tall figure manover through the crowd of people. Muttering apologies to everybody he accidently pumped into, which was a lot with his broad shoulders.
”You came...” She sniffed as Buck was close enough to hear her, surprising herself of how emotional she was.
Buck stopped to stand in front of her and smiled. ”I needed to see you...”
Eddie was ready to throw his alarm through the window. Merry fucking Christmas... He thought to himself as he dropped the other pillow on his face and groaned out loud. The pillow muffling the sound.
With great difficulty, he got up from the bed and headed to the shower. Christopher's room was still dark, but Eddie was certain the kid would wake up sooner than later, after all, it was Christmas. It didn't take long for him to take a quick shower and wash his teeth. He still needed to bring a few presents under the Christmas tree, which he had forgotten to the top closet of his bedroom. But he decided to check Chris first, in case the kid was already awake. But just as he was about to knock on the inside of Christopher's door, he stopped himself as he realized the bed was empty.
Only then, Eddie could hear silent talking coming from somewhere towards the living room. It sounded like Christopher was talking to someone. Eddie followed the sound a little warily, and stopped to the doorway between the kitchen and living room, to see Christopher sitting alone at the couch, looking up at him with a sly smile.
”What? Did you open one of the presents already?” Eddie asked, still a little confused of what Christopher had been talking about all by himself. He nudged the towel around his waist a little higher as he walked to his son. His eyes was caught by the Christmas tree. It looked like there were more presents than last night, but he had to be imagining things.
”Kinda...” Chris finally replied, that smile growing even wider.
Eddie was just about to ask what he meant, when Buck jumped out from behind the Christmas tree, startling the shit out of him. He needed to turn around to calm himself down a bit before facing the grinning duo.
”Merry Christmas!” They shouted out loud and then laughed so happily, that Eddie couldn't help but join. The sound warmed his heart.
”Ha-ha, very funny.” He said once he managed to tune down that smile on his lips and then pointed towards Buck. ”You're lucky, if I hadn't worn a towel, you'd be knocked down on the floor.”
”I believe you.” Buck told him, a little out of breathe and Eddie thought he saw his eyes go up and down his body before settling to his eyes. ”Not that I would mind.”
Eddie felt his mouth go dry and for a second all he could do was to stare at Buck. He then quickly looked away, not wanting to let that thought wander for too long, since he was wearing only the towel and cleared his throat.
”What uh- what are you doing here? I thought you would already be in Oklahoma.”
Buck sat down to the armchair and leaned against it, waving his right hand in the air like he wasn't quite sure either why he was there.
”I uh- did go to the airport. To clear things with Taylor.” He then looked at him, like making sure he was truly listening what he had to say and Eddie listened. He always listened. ”She was a bit upset...” Buck then swallowed, clearly feeling great deal of emotions while thinking about it. ”...and decided to go to Oklahoma for a week or two. Without me.”
Eddie looked down and nodded, pondering Buck's words for a while. ”So you and her...”
”We're over. Officially, and that's why I went there.” Buck voiced his thoughts, and Eddie had to close his eyes, to push back the enormous relief he felt by those words.
”Buck came to wake me up!” Christopher then told him and Eddie smiled towards his son.
”Really?”
”Yeah, and we made breakfast, while you just slept and snored.”
”Hey, you never said Eddie snores. You tricked me into believing you were bothered by my snoring.” Buck suddenly spoke out, speaking overly outraged, making Christopher laugh.
Eddie laughed as well and shook his head. This Christmas turned hundred and ten percent better than he had anticipated.
”Okay, then. I'm going to change something else on me, so we can start that breakfast.”
He was just about to turn around when Buck's words interrupted him.
”Or you could wear that. I wouldn't mind.”
Those words and the way Buck said them, took Eddie aback for a moment and he narrowed his eyes at Buck, who only stared back at him, like challenging him and this time Eddie was certain he saw Buck's eyes flicker down his body.
Eddie let out a small laugh and licked his lips, as his mouth had suddenly gone extremely dry, before fixing his gaze at Buck's. ”Well, you can join me to help pick up something to wear.” He smiled smugly by the way Buck's smile died down a bit as his mind clearly started to wander. But then Christopher caught his attention.
”Buck, can we go and fly the drone outside?”
”Uh- sure, buddy, but a bit later...” Buck mumbled, his mind still not quite working after Eddie's invitation, but as he turned his head towards Eddie again, the man had already gone.
It didn't take long for him to return, wearing a pleasingly tight jeans and a Henley, but just as he was about to sit down, they all sniffed the air.
”What's that smell? Like something is burning...” Buck voiced their thoughts and at the same time saw the way Eddie's eyes widened and he rushed to the kitchen.
Buck followed quick behind, finding Eddie maniacally searching the oven gloves. He then saw the black smoke coming out of the oven and it filled the air as Eddie finally opened the hatch and took out an overly huge ham for just two people, which was now burned to pitch black. Eddie threw it on the top of the oven.
”Fuck!” Eddie cursed out loud, but his voice was muffled by the smoke alarm which started to scream the moment the oven was opened.
Buck looked around and took a magazine from the counter, waving it under the fire alarm to silence it. When it finally muted, there was a moment when they both stared at the burned ham.
”Uh- what happened?” Buck dared to ask finally and glanced at Eddie, who looked miserable.
”I asked some advice from abuela, of how to make Christmas ham and she said it had to be in the oven over night...”
Buck's eyes were then caught by the knob of the oven and he couldn't help but snort, gaining a murderous look from Eddie. ”Well, it doesn't need that high temperature for to cook slowly and nicely...”
”Well, it's ruined anyway. And that's all we ha-” Eddie trailed to the fridge as he spoke and opened it, only to find it full of food.
”I uh- did some shopping. There's not much in there, since almost everything had already run out, but I managed to find some fresh bread, salmon, cheese...”
Eddie blinked as he watched the inside of his fridge. He hadn't seen it so full, since Ana had left and he had pushed everything that was around inside it, cursing the disgustingly moist muffins which tasted like fridge a week after she had left.
”But the ham is still savable.” Buck then spoke, suddenly very close to his ear and as Eddie turned his head, his nose almost pumping to the side of his face as Buck leaned to take something out of his fridge.
Eddie swallowed hard as they were only inches apart, until Buck reached what he was looking for and walked to the counter. Eddie let the door of the fridge to fall shut and observed as Buck rampaged through his kitchen. Mumbling all the time of what he needed. With easiness, he opened one of the cabins and took out a glass bowl. Then he reached out to a top drawer, taking out a spoon and then opened another door to get honey.
”Mustard can save it in no time. It just needs some more time at the oven. It could be a bit dry, but we can roll with that.” Buck told him as he mixed all the ingredients together.
”You are really a life saver.” Eddie said with sincerity as he walked beside Buck to watch him start peeling the burned layer off from the ham. He then reached over to dip his finger inside the bowl and tasted the mixture Buck had made. Only when his finger was already in his mouth, he noticed that Buck had stopped moving and was now staring at him. ”What?” He spoke around his finger before letting his hand drop. ”It tastes good.”
Buck's eyes lingered at his mouth a bit longer before he seemed to will himself and shifted nervously before fixing his attention back to the ham.
”Next time, you leave the cooking to me, okay?” Buck teased then and smiled as he poured the mixture on top of the ham.
Eddie observed him keenly. Still not quite believing Buck was really here, and this... thing between them was something so new and familiar at the same time, Eddie didn't quite know what to do with it. He enjoyed it, a lot, but was it happening for real?
Once Buck had put the ham back to the oven, he rounded Eddie, a bit closer than necessary, to wash his hands in the sink. Eddie contemplated all that had happened for a moment longer before turning around to face Buck again, when he stopped. Buck was facing him, standing so close they were barely apart and he was holding his right hand up. Eddie had to bend his neck to see that he was holding a mistletoe in his hand. And Eddie knew, for a fact, that he did not have a mistletoe in his house.
”You were carrying a poisonous plant around all this time?” He couldn't help but comment as he looked back down to Buck.
”Well, you gave me no time to put it up, so...” Buck answered and tilted his head a little. Suddenly he was leaning closer with his whole body and Eddie's mind went completely blank as he stared into Buck's eyes. He could feel his breath against his skin and-
”Dad!”
Eddie blinked as the moment was gone. He had never wanted to kiss anyone as badly as he had just now, so it took him all his will power to lean away. He swallowed and Buck watched the movement of his Adam's apple keenly.
”You better keep that safe... for later.” Eddie spoke with a hoarse voice, still a bit mesmerized of the change in their relationship. They smirked at each other, before Eddie forced his body to turn away and headed to the living room to see what Christopher was up to.
”What are you doing?” Eddie asked as he walked to sit beside Christopher, who had found a piece of paper and was now writing on it with concentrated expression, his tongue sticking out a little.
”Do you think-?” Chris started but he had to pause to concentrate on getting the words right. ”-if I wrote Mom a letter, I could send it up to her with the drone?”
Eddie felt like someone just squeezed his throat shut, but the sadness was soon followed by happiness of knowing how amazing his son was and how proud Shannon would be of him.
”Yeah, I'm sure she would get it.” He reached out to ran his hand through Christopher's hair and glanced up to see Buck standing a few feet away, smiling towards him. Eddie returned that smile.
After unwrapping all their presents and eating the dry ham, they decided to send the drone to its first flight. Christopher could barely keep it together as they walked to the back yard to get the thing ready.
”What's the drone's name?” Buck asked as he read the instructions of how to fly the thing.
”Name?” Christopher asked warily.
”Yes, the drone needs a name.” Buck said with a confident voice.
”Nah, I'm not sure. It's not like it's a ship or something.” Eddie argued back light heartedly, gaining an amused smile from Buck.
”No, but I think it's stupid to name ships but not planes. Right, Christopher?”
”The Little Diaz.” Chris said then, clearly certain of the name.
Eddie and Buck shared a look and then shrugged. There was nothing to add.
”Okay, Eddie, you go and get a pen, so we can officially name this thing. So, if The Little Diaz gets lost, the one who finds it, knows where to return it.” Buck told them and Eddie did as he was told. ”A waterproof pen!” He shouted after him.
Eddie soon returned with the only pen he could find. ”I have no idea if it's waterproof or not.” He admitted as sat beside Buck to the stairs on the porch and handed the pen to him.
Buck looked down at the pen doubtfully. ”We know once we test it.” He then picked it up, opened the cork and without a warning drew a long line to Eddie's cheek.
All Eddie could do was to stare at Buck, mortified, as Buck only smiled innocently to him and Christopher laughed behind them. Even though Eddie tried his best, he couldn't hide the smile that rose to his lips. So, he looked away from Buck and bit down his lower lip to hide it.
”Relax, it's not waterproof.” Buck told him.
Eddie then felt Buck run his thumb firmly against his cheek. It felt wet against his skin. He had clearly licked his thumb before rubbing the ink from his face.
”See?” Buck showed his thumb to him, where he could see a black stain.
”Better be.” Eddie tried his best to sound firm, but even his voice was betraying him today. How could Buck do this to him in only one day?
”Okay, The Little Diaz is ready to go!” Buck declared after he had wrote the name to it's side, but then paused and his eyes widened. ”Oh, but the letter!”
”The letter!” Christopher echoed and handed out the piece of paper he had been carefully holding.
Eddie took the paper from Chris and examined it for a moment. The message in it was simple: Merry Christmas, Mom! I hope you can have fun up there. With love, Christopher, Dad and Buck.
Eddie folded the paper carefully and glanced up at Buck, who stared at it with wide eyes, clearly not expecting Christopher to write his name on it. Eddie couldn't help but smile. He felt so blessed right now and it warmed his heart. He took a little piece of tape to attached it to the drone.
”Uh- is that enough?” Buck questioned beside him, ready to reach out to take another, larger, piece of tape, but Eddie's shake of his head, made him stop.
”It's enough.” Eddie told him and Buck understood that the letter was supposed to fly away. Making it look like Shannon got it.
”Of course.” Buck nodded at him.
Eddie got up to carry the drone to the middle of the yard. In the mean time, Buck rearranged their sitting positions. As Eddie walked back, Christopher was sitting between Buck's legs, with his arms around him, so Buck could help him fly the drone. Eddie smiled to their excited faces. They were like two kids.
”Here we go!” Buck shouted out gleefully and Christopher's voice soon joined him as they both screamed in excitement as the drone started to rise. Eddie couldn't help but laugh.
”There it goes! It's above the tree tops already!” Buck exclaimed.
”Merry Christmas, Mom!” Christopher shouted out with a wide smile.
Eddie blinked in the bright sun light and then squinted his eyes as it blinded him, making it hard to see where the drone was going. He could pretend the tears in his eyes were just because of the sun. Eddie then felt a soft touch on his hand and he looked down to see Buck running his fingers against the palm of his hand and stop against the sleeve, to the pulse point on his wrist. The touch was oddly intimate. Eddie smiled to Buck before turning to look at the drone again, brushing his fingers against Buck's palm as well.
Eddie thought he could see something white glimpse in the sun as the letter flew off. They took turns to fly the drone before slowly guiding it back down. For the rest of the day, they watched the videos the drone had caught.
”Look how tiny we look!” Eddie gleamed as he watched the first footage. They were like ants against the green of the yard. They looked like a solid, little, family. The thought made him happy.
It was late until Christopher finally fell asleep on the couch. Eddie carried him to the bed and kissed his son's forehead before tucking him in. The kid would probably sleep like a log late in the morning. He had been so full of energy during the day, and Eddie couldn't blame him. He had been excited as well. Buck had really saved their Christmas.
After carefully closing the door of Christopher's room, Eddie tiptoed to the living room, where he had last seen Buck, but the man was gone. He then heard the sink being turned on and followed the sound into the kitchen.
Buck was washing the kettle they had used earlier, clearly unaware of his presence. Eddie leaned against the doorway and eyed the man for a minute: down from his broad shoulders, to his back and to that ass... Eddie licked his lips slowly before his eyes were caught by the mistletoe, stuffed to the waistband of Buck's jeans, lifting up the shirt a little to expose the skin there.
Eddie walked softly behind Buck and reached out, making Buck shiver as he let his fingers brush against the bare skin as he took the mistletoe.
”Where were we?” He then asked and stepped beside Buck to lean sideways against the counter and showed off the mistletoe. Swirling it between his fingers, as he looked thoughtfully to Buck.
Buck grinned and then cast his eyes down, his eyelashes fluttering as he did so, and looked at the mistletoe.
He then drew a sharp breath between his teeth and fixed his eyes at Eddie's. ”Maybe you should remind me...” Buck stepped a bit closer and lifted his hands to both sides of Eddie's hips.
Eddie was left a little speechless and for a moment, he got lost staring into Buck's lips, but as he saw them near closer, he quickly let his hand fall down, together with the mistletoe.
”You sure you still want to cross this-” Eddie pointed between them. ”-line? Even after the...” Eddie seemed to hesitate, like he had to force the next words out of his mouth. ”...after the I-L-Y's?”
”I-L-?” It took a moment for Buck to realize what Eddie was talking about and grinned a little. ”I uh- I actually felt like running to the hills when she said those words, but-”
”You thought you had to say them back?” Eddie finished his sentence, and a fond smile appeared on his lips. ”Buck, I want you to feel like you never have to say anything you don't actually want to say and-”
Eddie was cut off as Buck only took a hold of his hand with the mistletoe and lifted it firmly on top of their heads and leaned in to press their lips together. Eddie hadn't expected that, and because of the awkward position of his arm, he lost his balance as Buck's body slammed into his. Eddie's back hit the counter behind him and it dug into his back, but he couldn't care less. Because Buck's mouth was on his and that was all Eddie had dreamed about in years. It felt as good as he had imagined and more.
Buck's firm grip on his wrist faltered and soon found its way to cup his cheek. Eddie opened his mouth to deepen the kiss and let his hand fall, dropping the mistletoe absentmindedly to the floor as he let his hands wander against Buck's shoulders. He had stood beside Buck many times before, hugged him as well. He knew Buck's form, but it still felt different, to be pinned against his kitchen counter and feel those muscles against his hands.
Eddie only came to, when it felt like neither of them could breathe anymore and Buck broke the kiss, placing their foreheads together instead, before completely pulling his face further away.
”I know I want to say that I love you...” Buck said then, looking deep into his eyes and then nodded a little towards Christopher's room. ”...and Christopher.”
Eddie just melted in Buck's arms. Buck was so amazing, he just didn't have the words to describe it, nor the enormous love he felt for the man. But he knew he had to try to put them to words. Because that's what Buck deserved. So, Eddie leaned in to kiss Buck's lips before fixing his gaze to his.
”We love you so much, you have no idea.” Eddie told him, hoping he managed to voice the effect Buck had on him.
Buck looked down again and then the widest smile appeared on his lips, which Eddie could've stared at all day, but he really needed to feel Buck's lips on his. Eddie cupped Buck's neck and pulled him in again, letting himself get wrapped into Buck's embrace. The best Christmas present he could've ever asked for.