Chapter Text
“Taehyun-ah, we figured out the curse.”
It took days for Beomgyu to muster up the courage to speak with Taehyun, even though Taehyun was his favorite person to talk to these days. Beomgyu’s new problem was the kind he’d much rather ignore than talk about, but he had no idea what to do with all of his thoughts.
But soon enough, he’d gone to Taehyun with his tail between his legs. It was the middle of the night, which was always a great time to talk to Taehyun—they’d made it a habit. Beomgyu couldn’t sleep, but exhaustion tended to loosen his lips.
Taehyun’s eyebrows shot up. “What? You did?”
Beomgyu flopped onto Taehyun’s bed, making himself at home. “A couple days ago.”
“Days ago?” Taehyun asked. “What do you mean?”
Beomgyu pressed his face into one of Taehyun’s pillows, too embarrassed to look him in the eye. “I can still read minds. But we think we figured out what’s causing it.”
At first, Beomgyu was deep in denial. He’d refused to admit that it was even a possibility the curse could be tied to his virginity. In the following days, Soobin and Kai had tried to mention him several times, but he’d shot down the possibility.
But now, he’d reached the acceptance phase. After days of struggling to hear the other members, he’d been forced to acknowledge the marked difference between the curse before the handjob and after the handjob. Unfortunate, coincidental timing? Maybe. But it seemed far too perfect to be true.
“Wow. Okay,” Taehyun said. “Tell me everything. You're killing me, hyung.”
This was so embarrassing, but Beomgyu needed to talk to someone other than Sooin and Kai. Why was it more of a challenge to admit to Taehyun that he’d realized the curse was a sex curse than to admit he was still a virgin?
Finally, Beomgyu lifted his head. “I woke up that morning, and realized I couldn’t hear anyone as well. When I told Soobin and Kai, we started talking about how it started on my birthday, and… um….”
Taehyun was still visibly confused. “Right. Your birthday. Isn’t that an interesting coincidence?”
“They don’t think it’s a coincidence,” Beomgyu mumbled.
“Well, it was your twenty-third birthday. We were joking about the ‘BigHit curse’ on your birthday,” Taehyun said. “That’s kind of unfortunate, isn’t it? I think we’d know by now if every twenty-three year old virgin could read minds, so it has to be unique to you….”
“They said that, too.” Beomgyu sighed. It didn’t surprise him that Taehyun had put it together, although he doubted Taehyun meant it as seriously as Soobin and Kai had. “But it was more about what we think caused part of the curse to go away.”
“You haven’t mentioned trying anything in particular,” Taehyun said. “Was it an accident?”
“Yep, completely an accident. Actually, it was something I didn’t really want to do while I have the curse—”
“Spit it out, hyung. I don’t understand.”
Beomgyu wrinkled his nose.
“He, uhh—Kai—he jerked me off. Then I went to bed. I noticed the change after I woke up. That was the only thing I’ve done differently since my birthday,” Beomgyu said.
Taehyun’s eyes widened comically. “Oh. Oh.”
“So… our theory is that it’s a sex curse. That’s the only idea we have, actually….”
“There was definitely nothing else that made that day special?” Taehyun asked, and Beomgyu nodded. “It’s… a solid theory, then….”
Beomgyu covered his face with his hands. “It’s an awful theory, but I think I started to lose the power as soon as he stopped touching me.”
“Is it still going away?”
“No. Nothing since that morning.”
Taehyun hummed. “And they know about….”
“That I’m a virgin?”
“Yes. Do they?”
Beomgyu nodded again, miserably.
“So it’s a virgin curse,” Taehyun concluded. “If a handjob is, like, half your virginity, I'd bet that means it would go away completely if you had sex.”
“Maybe,” Beomgyu said.
“…Right.” Taehyun laughed nervously. “I didn’t think you’d come in here to overshare about your sex life.”
“I’ve barely shared anything,” Beomgyu said, scowling. “I didn’t give you any details. You’ve definitely heard a lot more about what Soobin and Kai have done.”
“That’s true. Kai tells me things sometimes.”
Did he? Either way, Beomgyu doubted that was what their recent conversations had been about. It wasn’t normal for Kai, usually completely unflappable, to spend so much time worrying about his rock-solid relationship with Taehyun.
“Sorry. I won’t overshare,” Beomgyu said.
Taehyun shook his head. “I was kidding. I like to be updated. I’ve really been dying to know what the curse could be, and this is your first real lead.”
“Terrible lead,” Beomgyu muttered.
“But still a lead. Besides, if it’s really about losing your virginity, that means you won’t be stuck like this forever,” Taehyun said. “It’ll probably happen soon, actually….”
Beomgyu stared at him. Taehyun shrugged. “I have eyes. Anyway, how was it with Kai? You were worried about the mind reading.”
Last week, Taehyun grilled Beomgyu about the confession. Despite his humiliation, Beomgyu retold the story as completely as he could. Taehyun didn’t even make fun of him, even though Beomgyu probably deserved it. Taehyun was the one who had warned him against his scheme of setting Soobin and Kai up, after all.
More than that, Taehyun had been supportive. “I can tell they’re going to make you happy,” he’d said. “So, I’m happy for you. I had a feeling, with Kai…. I just hope it’s everything you’ve dreamed of.”
After over a year of balancing their relationship with their busy lives, Soobin and Kai were adding a major complication. Taehyun may not have said it, but Beomgyu knew he’d be concerned.
“I’m going to do my best for them,” Beomgyu had said. “I don’t want them to have any regrets.”
Providing them with the satisfaction they deserved was a daunting task, but Beomgyu was motivated. He couldn’t mess this up.
Beomgyu cleared his throat. “Being with him was fine. Even with the curse.” How much should he tell? Kai probably wouldn’t mind them gossiping, but Beomgyu was still wary.
“Fine?” Taehyun said, tilting his head.
Beomgyu’s face warmed. “Good. It was good.”
“Kai told me things were going well with you,” Taehyun said. “So, I figured….”
Relief washed through Beomgyu. “Sorry, this is… you don’t really… think a lot. When someone’s giving you a handjob. So, there wasn’t a lot that I had to hear anyway….”
Taehyun cracked a smile. “I guess that’s not surprising. You haven’t tried it again, since you?”
Beomgyu shot him a glare. “You were complaining about me oversharing, and now you’re asking questions? Why do you want to know?” All of them already knew more than enough about each other’s… habits. Beomgyu wasn’t particularly keen on encouraging him.
“You don’t have to tell me about what you’re doing,” Taehyun asked. “I’m curious about the curse. Like… would another handjob make it go away? Or does it have to be something else?”
“I’m sure we’ll need to do more than that,” Beomgyu said.
They’d spent time together since that night, but not enough to have squeezed in anything sexual. The last few days at work had been brutal, and Beomgyu barely had enough energy for conversation.
“But the curse isn’t as strong as before. Sex will probably be easier now,” Taehyun said, rubbing his neck. “What’s the curse like, by the way? You said you could hear us clearly before.”
“It’s like you’re in the next room instead of beside me,” Beomgyu said. “I can still hear most things. I know sex is still going to be awkward.”
“Awkward, maybe,” Taehyun said. “But they don’t mind the curse.”
“Either they have to deal with it, or they don’t get to touch me,” Beomgyu pointed out.
Taehyun shrugged. “I don’t think that’s all of it. They really trust you. Even if they don’t like the curse, they know you’re a good person.”
“I mean, I… I….”
“That’s what Kai told me,” Taehyun said. “And he knows Soobin does, too.”
Beomgyu was quiet. Even though Soobin and Kai had described their trust before, and Beomgyu had heard it in their minds, it still felt meaningful that Kai had confided in Taehyun.
“I’m lucky,” Beomgyu said. Do you know how lucky you are? Yeonjun had asked. They should have been disgusted. “I’m grateful. I don’t know if I’ve been able to show them that.”
“I think they know,” Taehyun said. “Besides, it’s never too late.”
There was a beat of silence. Beomgyu knotted his hands in Taehyun’s blankets. Two months ago, he would have reached for Taehyun’s hand instead.
If Soobin and Kai were right about the curse, all he had to do was have sex, and then everything would return to normal. Just like that. Easy.
“I think what you have is really special. I really can’t imagine it,” Taehyun said eventually. “I probably wouldn’t want you to touch me at all if I could hear what you do. So I’m better off not knowing the details.” He yawned, covering his mouth with a hand. “I don’t know if there’s anyone I’d trust to hear me… like, during sex. I don’t know if there ever will be.”
“Really?” Beomgyu asked.
“Would you?” Taehyun asked. “I’m sure there are things they’re worried about you hearing. But everyone has thoughts like that, even if we don’t talk about them.”
“I have to trust them,” Beomgyu said. “If they can trust me with their minds, I should, too. It’s only fair, right?”
“Hmm. I suppose,” Taehyun said. “At least it’s probably not permanent. That’s the important thing.”
“I hope so,” Beomgyu said. I don’t want to think about what life will be like if having sex doesn’t cure me.
Taehyun was silent for a moment. His head made a soft thump as he tipped it against the wall. “If it really is a virgin curse, I should… I should start working on that,” he said. He sounded uncharacteristically nervous. “Yeonjun and Soobin were lucky. They didn’t even know this was a possibility when they turned twenty-three. And it’s never going to be a problem for Kai.”
“You shouldn’t rush. You have another year,” Beomgyu said, hoping his words sounded uplifting. “But I don’t recommend this, either.”
“No. I don’t think anyone would.”
“Isn’t it a cruel punishment?”
“Maybe it’s supposed to be helpful,” Taehyun suggested. “Honestly, I doubt there’s an explanation. It just exists.”
“Probably,” Beomgyu said. That was the most rational explanation, but nothing about this was rational anyway.
Taehyun yawned again. That was Beomgyu’s cue to leave.
“Thank you for listening,” he said, standing up. “You should get to sleep.”
Taehyun hummed. “Yeah, anytime. I’ve had a lot of questions.” Then he paused, donning a serious expression. “Wait. There’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you about.”
Beomgyu stopped short. “What is it?”
Taehyun’s brow furrowed. “Have you noticed anything weird about Yeonjun-hyung lately?”
Oh. Oh, God.
Beomgyu floundered for words. Was there any way to answer this that didn’t reveal what Yeonjun had confided in him?
“What do you mean?” he croaked.
“He’s been distant,” Taehyun said. “I’ve been hanging out with him more, but lately… it’s not all the time, but sometimes it’s like he’s not there. He talks to me, but he doesn’t seem invested.” He shook his head, frustrated. “I don’t think I’ve done anything wrong, but it wasn’t like this a month ago. He was talking to me more, and it felt good. But then, a week ago, he completely changed.”
If anything, Beomgyu had observed the opposite—Yeonjun had been distant until his conversation with Beomgyu. Beomgyu hadn’t dared to address Yeonjun’s behavior with Soobin or Kai, but he guessed that they would say the same.
Oh, Yeonjun, Beomgyu thought. What happened?
“He might be having a bad week,” Beomgyu said. It was a terrible excuse.
“I know he’s talking to you, though. It’s just me that he’s avoiding,” Taehyun said, and Beomgyu winced. He’d been paying close attention to Yeonjun and Taehyun’s interactions since Yeonjun’s confession, but he hadn’t noticed anything amiss. “So I… I’m wondering if he seems upset when he talks to you.”
I can’t be your wingman, Beomgyu thought. This was some sort of twisted karma. Not this time. I can’t help.
Yeonjun will kill me if I say too much. He just wanted me to listen to him, he didn’t want me to interfere.
But… if I can nudge Taehyun in the right direction….
Is Yeonjun ready to have that conversation?
Don’t they need to talk regardless?
“Um… we haven’t talked very much,” Beomgyu said. Just the once, where he told me everything. “But I… it’s just….”
Taehyun rubbed a hand over his face. “I don’t want you to tell me if you’ve heard anything from him. That would be….”
“God, no,” Beomgyu said. The thought made him cringe.
“I have to know if he’s okay, though,” Taehyun said. “Please—if something’s wrong and I can help him, I need to know.”
This would be the death of Beomgyu, being caught in the middle of this painful bout of miscommunication. For some reason, both Yeonjun and Taehyun seemed intent on involving him, trusting him with information he felt wholly unprepared to do anything with.
“He’s okay,” Beomgyu said. “I promise. I think you should talk to him. I don’t know if you can help, but he might like it if you reach out.”
Taehyun nodded. His expression was still creased with worry. “I’ll try.”
Beomgyu tried to give him a smile, but he doubted it was reassuring. Was Yeonjun so confused over his feelings that he felt the need to separate himself from Taehyun, or was it something else? Had he even realized how soon that plan would fall apart? Beomgyu didn’t have nearly enough information to answer their questions, but he couldn’t ignore what was going on.
At the very least, he hoped this would be solved by Taehyun’s twenty-third birthday—the consequences of a second mind reader would be disastrous, and Beomgyu couldn’t imagine this tension lingering for another year.
Not that he’d been entirely convinced of the BigHit Curse, or anything.
Something was wrong with Soobin.
He’d been shifty all morning, until they reached work, where he slipped into his professional leader mode as they prepared for the day’s photoshoot. It wasn’t just Beomgyu, either—he was avoiding conversations with Kai, suspiciously quiet, dodging anything that went beyond the surface level of small talk, though Beomgyu seemed to be the only one who noticed.
So, Beomgyu had to take matters into his own hands. The opportunity didn’t present itself until much later in the morning, after their styling had been completed. Soobin and Beomgyu were done first, which gave them a short break before the photoshoot would resume. Trying his best not to attract attention, Beomgyu moved to a corner of the room and slipped his phone out of his pocket.
This time, it took Soobin longer to respond. Beomgyu watched him type from across the room, his suspicion growing.
Beomgyu stared at the text bubble. He scrolled up and reread the entire conversation, then reread the last bit two more times. Namjoon. Namjoon. Soobin had called Namjoon. He’d called Namjoon to gather information on the curse.
Out of the members, Soobin probably talked to Namjoon the most frequently. Soobin had been to his house more than once, and he came back from those visits with an extra spring in his step. Namjoon was apparently able to offer one-of-a-kind, sage advice about anything and everything, and had connected to Soobin on a particularly deep level as a fellow leader.
In fact, Namjoon was almost always the person Soobin went to when he was struggling with something. They all treasured Namjoon’s guidance. But that was typically guidance relating to their careers, not personal issues.
Namjoon was a level-headed, open-minded person, but there were some things Beomgyu knew he could never bring up to Namjoon. Those were out of the question.
But now, Namjoon knew his deepest secret.
Beomgyu shoved his phone back into his pocket. His head was spinning. His whole body felt numb.
He was relieved. At least… somewhat relieved. He wasn’t surprised, though. In the past week, as the possibility had started to form in his mind, acceptance had come with it.
He’d truly been cursed because he’d put off losing his virginity, and the only way to break it was to fully give himself over to Soobin and Kai, to trust them no matter what he might overhear.
Not only that—he wasn’t the first. It really was a company-wide issue, there might be some junior under him who would someday follow his path. How had this started? Why had it started?
Beomgyu could feel eyes on him, and when he lifted his head, Soobin was looking at him. Soobin must be worried, but Beomgyu isn’t upset. He only feels drained.
Soobin stood, hesitated, and began to make his way across the room to Beomgyu. Beomgyu’s chest ached. He could use a hug. He could really, really use a hug.
“Beomgyu-ssi, you’re up.”
The director’s voice. Soobin and Beomgyu stared at each other. Soobin shook his head, and Beomgyu tried to force his expression into something neutral rather than pained. Some of their staff members were a little too attentive, and would surely notice if their Beomgyu was dejected on the day of a big photoshoot.
Beomgyu’s inevitable follow-up conversation with Soobin would have to happen later. For now, he needed to focus on getting through this day.
Beomgyu spent the rest of the shoot debating on whether to contact Jungkook or not. He spoke to the members of BTS fairly regularly, but it certainly wasn’t an everyday occurrence. Their conversations had come a long way from the stiff formality of their younger years, when BTS were unapproachable, almost godlike figures.
It wouldn’t be the first time Beomgyu had reached out to one of them for help. It wouldn’t be the last, either. And Jungkook was expecting this, in a way. It shouldn’t have been a difficult decision.
But it was so personal. Too intimate. In the past, Beomgyu had hardly participated in conversations involving sex. Discussing his sex life—even worse, his intact virginity—with one of his favorite sunbaes was simply too much.
What Soobin had said was true, though. Jungkook was kind-hearted and enthusiastic and one of the few people in the world who understood what Beomgyu was going through. He might have valuable information, aside from what Soobin had gotten from Namjoon.
Beomgyu’s answer was obvious. With one eye closed, he typed out his message.
There. Completely casual, nothing that could give away Beomgyu’s reason for contacting him. Nothing too scary. Maybe Beomgyu could even come up with some other topic to discuss with him, just in case he decided to chicken out….
Just an hour later, after Beomgyu had showered and ordered dinner, Jungkook responded.
Beomgyu tossed his phone aside. His hands were sweaty, and he wiped them on his pants.
He wasn’t alone. The curse wasn’t something that had been specially designed for him, a mockery of his life. Jungkook had spoken about it like it was some kind of normal coming-of-age event, but he must have been surprised that there was another victim
Beomgyu rolled over and pressed his face into his pillow, blocking out the light from his bedside lamp. Jungkook had plenty to say about his virginity, too, which was probably the most awkward part, even though the advice had been kind.
Jungkook-hyung knows I’m a virgin. And he wants me to update him… this is terrible.
Beomgyu sighed heavily. It wasn’t as embarrassing as it would’ve been if Jungkook hadn’t revealed his own history—Beomgyu hadn’t decided what to make of that yet—but it was still embarrassing.
“Hey, Beomgyu.”
It was Soobin’s voice. Beomgyu didn’t move, but felt the bed dip with Soobin’s weight beside him.
“Sorry, I meant to come by sooner—I got caught up with Yeonjun,” Soobin said.
“It’s alright.”
“So… about earlier….”
Beomgyu shifted onto his side. Soobin’s expression was full of worry.
“I don’t mind that you talked to Namjoon,” Beomgyu said. “That was smart.”
“I don’t know if it was smart or just lucky,” Soobin said. “When I called him, I thought I could hint at it just in case he’d ever heard of something like this before. I didn’t think it would work, though. I really did want to know what he thought we should do to keep you comfortable.”
“It’s fine. This won’t last much longer, anyway,” Beomgyu said. And then he’d never have to worry about exposing their secrets again.
“Alright. Um—do you think you’ll talk to Jungkook? I can help you with that, if you need—”
“I already did,” Beomgyu said, and Soobin’s eyes went round with surprise. “He said the same things as Namjoon. He didn’t have it for very long, just a week, and didn’t figure out what it was until after. He’s worried I’m going to rush into having sex just to get rid of it.”
“But we won’t,” Soobin said. “Not until you’re ready.”
He held out one of his hands, and Beomgyu took it. It shouldn’t be a huge deal. At least, not without the curse…. We’ll have to make it as normal as possible. The world doesn’t stop spinning when you lose your virginity.
Unless he wants it to be special special, like if we find an important time at an important place…. Oh, that would be weird. Sex isn’t like that…. But if he wants….
As a teenager, sex had certainly seemed scarier, when elder figures had dodged questions and he’d had horror stories from his peers in mind, plus all of his private worries about the meaning of intimacy. Those fears had melted away with age, replaced by the hesitations that came with his career, and the difficulties of finding a willing partner—preferably a loving one, too.
But now… he was in a new but happy relationship, with the two people he trusted more than anyone else in the world. They were more experienced than him, but they weren’t at all disappointed by that. Most importantly, he wanted it, the feelings that had been stirring up inside of him welcome rather than a cause for anguish.
“I’m ready now,” Beomgyu admitted, squeezing Soobin’s hand. “I want you both. We can talk about it with Kai whenever we have time. And I want it to be normal.”
You want me, Soobin thought, and repeated it a few more times, a thrill running through his mind. I’m ready.
“I’m happy it went well with Jungkook,” he said. “And I’m happy that you trust me.”
It was nearly impossible for Beomgyu to think with Soobin in his head, his thoughts full of the sudden desperation that Beomgyu was starting to become well-acquainted with. He’d thought he understood in an abstract way what attraction meant, but feeling it from Soobin was entirely different. He reached desperately for the words he wanted Soobin to hear. “I’m glad you trust me, too.”
Soobin raised Beomgyu’s hand and kissed it. More than ever.
“What are you doing for our time off, Kai-yah?” Beomgyu asked.
“I’m going out with Taehyun in the morning,” Kai said. “I don’t know for how long. I don’t know where we’re going, either. He wouldn’t tell me. But I won’t be gone all day, because he’s got a thing with Yeonjun at night.”
They were curled up together in Soobin’s bed. Beomgyu and Kai had convened there after dinner to wait for Soobin, who promised that he wouldn’t be long. Even without Soobin, the room was homey. Kai often insisted that Soobin had become a much neater person since Beomgyu had joined their relationship, which Soobin fervently denied. Beomgyu refused to contribute to that conversation.
“Yeonjun?” Beomgyu asked. His recent conversation with Taehyun was still fresh on his mind. In the days that had passed, he hadn’t noticed any of the abnormal behavior Taehyun had described, but Yeonjun wasn’t one to bring his personal problems to work, and he’d been retreating to the privacy of his room at night.
“Yeah. I’m not sure where they’re going, either. We were going to spend the whole day together, but I guess they need to have this big urgent talk—he said he’d tell me about that later,” Kai said with a shrug.
Beomgyu could feel himself start to sweat.
“Hopefully it goes well, then,” he said cautiously.
“I’m sure they’ll be fine,” Kai said. “Taehyun told me he’s been worried about him.”
“It’s good that they’re talking, then,” Beomgyu said. It felt good to know that he wasn’t solely responsible for whatever was about to happen with Taehyun and Yeonjun. Maybe I can tell him about what I’ve done someday, if this all goes well.
Kai hummed. He shifted so that he could rest his head on Beomgyu’s stomach, and Beomgyu automatically lifted a hand to pat his hair. The texture was coarse from the bleach they’d started last year.
“Taehyun teased me when he told me about his plans, too. He said they were really doing us a favor, since we’d get to have the dorm all to ourselves,” Kai said. Can’t get much more obvious than that….
Beomgyu swallowed. He’d had the same thought, although he hadn’t been so bold as to voice it. Tomorrow could be the day, couldn’t it? “He knows the curse is a virgin curse. He probably wants us to get it over with.”
“It’s not a bad idea,” Kai mused. I thought that, too. But we should talk to Soobin first. Taehyun said we’d have a few hours, but what if we want more than that? Maybe we should just experiment… but we don’t know for sure how much we need to do….
His thoughts were much too distracting, but Beomgyu didn’t have the heart to move him. “We can’t rely on him. What happens if he and Yeonjun stop going out as much?”
It would be inconvenient for sex-related plans, but also the sign of a much larger problem in their group. Beomgyu hoped it wouldn’t come to that.
“We could kick them out,” Kai said. Easy. They leave before we start, and we let them know when it’s safe to come back. It wouldn’t have taken me so long to lose my virginity if I’d been able to kick them out. “They’d definitely be understanding. It’s probably the only time they won’t be annoyed, they’ll be so happy we can touch you again….”
“I’m not telling them when I’m losing my virginity,” Beomgyu protested.
“Why not? They’ll know after, when you start touching them again,” Kai said, his teasing tone accompanied by a devilish grin.
“Maybe I’ll never tell them,” Beomgyu said. “A year will go by, and they’ll just assume I’m not a virgin anymore. But I’ll never have to say it. If you got away with dating Soobin, I can definitely pretend I’m still a virgin. It’s not that hard to guess what you’re thinking about.”
We shouldn’t have gotten away with it for that long. Taehyun’s never going to let me live it down. “What am I thinking about right now?”
“Taehyun.”
“We’ve been spending a lot of time talking recently,” Kai said. I missed that….
“He wasn’t talking to you before?” Beomgyu asked. Taehyun and Kai always seemed to work their problems out on their own, so he hadn’t thought to investigate the traces of tension betweeen them. It was so rare that they even fought.
“It’s not that we weren’t talking… it was just awkward after Soobin and I came clean about our relationship,” Kai explained. “He was hurt, not being petty. It takes him a long time to trust people, so he expects that we trust him the same way.”
“He should,” Beomgyu said, he couldn’t remember the last time Taehyun and Kai had gone through an extended period of awkwardness.
Kai winced. “I know he’s had a talk with Soobin, too, but I think it hurt more with me because I spent so much time sneaking around when we were rooming together. That’s the sort of thing you’re supposed to tell your best friend.”
He rolled off Beomgyu and sat up, his shoulders slumping. “And he kept apologizing, saying that he understood why we did it—but he was right, and that was why it was so hard.”
“He’s a good friend,” Beomgyu said.
Kai nodded. “I felt guilty the whole time I was hiding it. I was hoping I’d feel relieved when I finally told him, but…. I’m just happy we have it sorted out now.”
“You don’t feel relieved?”
“No, still guilty. I don’t like seeing him upset.”
Beomgyu propped himself against the headboard. “I don’t think he could ever be upset at you for long.”
“That’s the problem. I deserve it,” Kai said.
He let out a sigh, his gaze dropping. “He used to say he didn’t want to hear anything about me and Soobin, but sometimes he’d ask me questions. What it was like to have a relationship in the group, how we kept it platonic, and all that…. We’d get too close to the truth and I’d be sure he would figure it out, but I couldn’t tell him everything until Soobin agreed.”
“And he never caught on?” Beomgyu asked. He’d never been bold enough to ask them questions. He really hadn’t wanted to know the answers.
“No. He trusted me,” Kai said softly. “I tried not to give too many details, and it didn’t come up very often. He was worried I’d end up falling for Soobin, but believed me when I said I didn’t think of him like that.”
“Still. I would’ve thought he’d guess first.”
“In the end, he didn’t really know more than any of you. Just that we’d… hook up sometimes to ‘relieve ourselves,’” Kai said, wrinkling his nose. “I think it actually made me more frustrated. I wanted him all the time and I could never have him.”
“I want him all the time,” Beomgyu agreed.
“See? You understand the problem,” Kai said. “I want you all the time too, now. I don’t know what to do with myself.”
He was so close, looking at Beomgyu with those dark eyes, his desire written all over his face. Beomgyu didn’t have to touch him to know what he was thinking.
“I know,” Beomgyu said, slightly choked. “You… you can have me. I want you, too.”
“It’s easy to tell. I don’t need to be able to read minds for that,” Kai said, pleased.
Then what are you going to do about it? Beomgyu thought. You have to do something.
The bedroom door creaked open, and Soobin stepped into the room before Beomgyu had the chance to respond. “I didn’t mean to take so long,” he said. He sat on the end of the bed, pulling one of Kai’s oversized plushies into his lap. “We have a lot to talk about.”
“Straight to business,” Kai said. “We were having fun before you came.”
Soobin’s nose scrunched up. “I think this is a fun thing to talk about.”
Soobin had been the one to fill Kai in on Beomgyu’s conversation with Jungkook. When they’d talked about it as a trio later, Kai had looked just as shocked as Beomgyu had felt, which was validating even though it made Beomgyu squirm. Jungkook’s story may have been just as scandalous as Beomgyu’s, but it was the most convincing piece of evidence for their theory.
“Right. What did we decide we’re doing?” Kai asked.
“Making a list of questions we need to answer about the curse, so we can make sure it goes away,” Soobin said. “Things that Jungkook didn’t know.” He turned to Beomgyu. “Do you have any ideas?”
Jungkook had described the curse in such a simple way, but his experience were much different from Beomgyu’s. Maybe Beomgyu should have asked more questions about how it had felt to Jungkook, for the sake of comparison. After all, Jungkook had been surprised that the handjob had affected Beomgyu’s ability to read minds.
“What counts as virginity?” Beomgyu said. “Jungkook-hyung said it went away when he had sex, but….”
Kai caught on immediately. “A handjob is still sex, but it didn’t fully work.”
“Not sex sex,” Soobin said. “It probably has to be penetrative.”
“But not all sex is penetrative,” Kai said. “I don’t think you can call yourself a virgin if you have a lot of non-penetrative sex.”
“That’s… true,” Soobin said. He tapped his chin. “But it definitely has to be more than a handjob. A handjob’s not that different from doing it yourself. There are definitely some people who think jerking off counts as losing your virginity, though.”
“Maybe that’s enough to break the curse for them,” Kai said. “If they think they’re not a virgin anymore, then the curse goes away.”
“That’s so unfair,” Beomgyu blurted. “So if I trick myself into thinking that getting a handjob means I’ve lost my virginity, I’ll be free?”
Kai shrugged. “It’s just a theory. What would you count as losing your virginity?”
“For myself…? Penetrative sex, I guess. But the handjob was… it was something.”
“Did Jungkook say what he did?” Kai asked.
Beomgyu grimaced. “Let’s just figure it out ourselves.”
Kai sighed, relieved. “I already know way more than I ever wanted to about Jungkook’s virginity. It feels wrong for me to be asking.”
“Maybe it doesn’t matter what we do as long as one of us makes him come,” Soobin said. “Wait, but then the handjob would’ve worked…. Beomgyu-yah, what do you think?”
“Jungkook didn’t go into that kind of detail,” Beomgyu said, flustered.
“You don’t need to have an orgasm to lose your virginity,” Kai pointed out.
“I think you deserve one,” Soobin said crossly. “Where’s the fun in that?”
Kai raised his eyebrows. “So the only fun part of having sex is the orgasms?”
Soobin appeared to be choking Kai’s plushie. “That’s not what I….”
“Are you saying Kai’s not good in bed?” Beomgyu asked innocently.
“I know I’m good in bed,” Kai said. “Soobin tells me all the time—”
Soobin scowled at him. “You keep talking about me like I’m some kind of whiny bottom—”
“—You are a whiny bottom!”
Soobin whacked him with the plushie. Kai squealed, yanking it from Soobin’s hands.
“You’re not any better,” Soobin said. “You have your things, too.”
“I wasn’t denying that,” Kai said. “But I’m more excited to figure out what Beomgyu’s things are.”
Suddenly both of them were staring at him. Beomgyu felt like some kind of small prey animal, about to be devoured. He cowered against Kai’s pillows.
“Why don’t you tell us, Huening-ah?” Soobin prompted. “Since you got him first.”
“No way. No spoilers.”
Beomgyu scoffed. “Spoilers, like I’m a TV show—”
“You’re prettier than anything on TV,” Kai said smoothly.
Beomgyu decided to stare at the plushie in his hands instead, stubbornly avoiding Kai’s eyes.
“We should decide when we’re going to do it,” Soobin said, “so we can get everything ready. Have you thought about what you want to try first?”
Beomgyu swallowed. “Like whether I want to top, or….”
“Yeah. Not that that’s really relevant, but….”
Kai nudged Soobin’s side. “You just want something to imagine the next time you fuck me.”
“I want him there the next time I fuck you,” Soobin said, the tips of his ears reddening.
Beomgyu couldn’t handle the image. He’d known in the abstract that Soobin and Kai would want that, and they’d talked about being together as a trio, but to hear them say it like this….
Soobin and Kai were staring at him again. Beomgyu scrambled to answer.
“I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t know what I’d like. I want to try both eventually, but….”
“If we had a whole day, we could,” Soobin said. He glanced at Kai. “So, that thing you have with Taehyun….”
“I can’t cancel on him,” Kai protested. “He’d hate me. Besides, Yeonjun will be home until the afternoon.”
Off the top of his head, Beomgyu wasn’t sure when their next day off was. Even if they didn’t have the dorm to themselves for their full next day off, though, they would have time at night—the time Taehyun had hinted that they should use wisely, and Kai wanted to experiment during….
“We could do something else,” Beomgyu said. “Like… like you were saying… I could join you….”
Soobin broke into a grin. “Oh, can we?” he asked Kai. “If you want—we haven’t gotten time like that in a while. I’ve missed you.”
Kai smiled back. “I’ve missed you, too.” He turned to Beomgyu. “If you watch us, sex might not seem as intimidating when you’re thinking about us together—at least you’ll know what to expect from our minds.”
They’d let him touch them while they were having sex. It seemed so obvious, but it was so intimate, such an enormous declaration of trust, that Beomgyu couldn’t wrap his mind around it. That was a huge jump from touching them while they kissed.
“We can keep talking about it, but it won’t be the same as the real thing. You can participate as much as you want, but we’ll focus on each other instead,” Soobin added.
“We want you there,” Kai continued, nearly talking over Soobin in his haste. “What do you think?”
They were even more enthusiastic than Beomgyu had expected. It was an easy solution to some of their problems—it was the most efficient way for them to demonstrate what they had tried to explain to him, to show him what their relationship was like.
“You’ve talked about it, haven’t you?” Beomgyu asked. It was so obvious that he was surprised they hadn’t been the ones to suggest it first.
Soobin and Kai exchanged a glance.
“Before we asked you if you wanted to be with us,” Kai admitted, flustered. “When we were talking about what it might be like… what kinds of things we might want from each other….”
“We were hoping it might happen eventually,” Soobin explained. “But we weren’t sure what you’d want to try first—if you’d want to watch us, or participate, or try things one-on-one…. Would it make you feel comfortable?”
“I think it would,” Beomgyu said. It felt good to tell them this, to say it with certainty, to ask for what he wanted knowing that they were equally as enthusiastic to give it to him. “But I want to try it anyway. If we have time on our day off—”
“We’ll have time,” Kai said quickly. “All we need is an hour, but I can ask Taehyun to keep Yeonjun occupied for longer if we need it—he won’t be weird about it, he knows we want privacy for things other than sex, too.”
“In two days.” Soobin reached for Beomgyu’s hands, giving them a squeeze, letting his passion and exhilaration wash over Beomgyu’s mind. “What else do you want to know before then?”
Tomorrow was their day off, which typically meant the members would work late, sleep in later, and bask in the glory of their free time in the afternoon. The list of tasks for their upcoming schedules was ever-growing, but Beomgyu had requested to leave as soon as he could justify it. If anything, a distraction would probably be good for him—he had most of tomorrow to wait through, too—but he was too full of anticipation to focus, unable to sit still for even a moment.
He made it until dinnertime until his nerves won out. He knew Kai was occupied—and Kai was a notoriously poor texter—but what about Soobin?
Beomgyu typed out a response, his heart pounding. His thumb hovered over send.
…Should he?
There was a long pause. Was that too much? Beomgyu wondered. Did that take him off guard? Nothing like this had come up when they’d started to negotiate sex, talking through the different things they might try in preparation for Beomgyu to lose his virginity—or in the things Soobin and Kai had mentioned doing with each other before Beomgyu came into the picture.
When Soobin finally responded, it took Beomgyu an extra moment to process the words.
Beomgyu’s face was burning hot. He read the last message three times over.
Beomgyu rolled onto his stomach, sinking his hips into the mattress, heat zipping up his spine at the hint of friction. He’d barely noticed himself becoming hard, but he let himself chase after the feeling.
Fuck. He pressed his face into his pillow, forcing himself to take a deep breath. His heart leaped when he felt his phone vibrate with another notification.
How could Beomgyu refuse Soobin’s encouragement? He’d been the one to start this, after all, desperate for some sort of attention from the beginning and egging Soobin on. He pushed the waistband of his sweatpants down and wrapped a hand around his cock. The first sense of relief he’d felt since he’d started texting Soobin, a shock of sensitivity.
He fumbled for his phone with his other hand as another message from Soobin arrived.
Beomgyu squeezed his eyes shut as he came into his fist, turning his face into his pillow to muffle his noises. Soobin’s words were typed messages, nothing more, but Beomgyu could so clearly imagine what they would have sounded like in his voice.
After all the time they’d spent talking about it, Soobin was finally, finally offering him relief. A few weeks ago, he couldn’t have imagined a time he would have the courage to ask for this, when Soobin would so enthusiastically give it to him, and that alone was overwhelming.
In the back of his mind, Beomgyu distantly noticed his phone vibrating. He unlocked it with an unsteady hand.
Beomgyu let his eyes fall shut, his breath shuddering. He relaxed his grip on his phone, and it fell out of his hand. His heart was only just starting to slow, but he felt no desire to get up, even though he knew he needed to hurry and wash up before one of the other members came home. He didn’t even have tissues in his room, which had been a painful oversight.
If he were anything but an idol, he wouldn’t have to tease Soobin with the suggestion of a visual—he could just take a picture.
The thought made him blush. What would Soobin think if he did?
With that, Beomgyu’s work was done. He shut his phone off and gingerly rolled out of bed, hiding his hand behind his back as he poked his head out of the room. Mercifully, the lights were still off, none of the other members home to witness his walk of shame.
Once he had finished scrubbing his hands, he slunk back to his room. Only a few minutes had passed, but that was enough for Kai to take the elevator and sprint to the practice room.
Beomgyu couldn’t help but grin at his phone. He had them wrapped around his finger.
Beomgyu spent an embarrassing amount of the next morning pacing, but an odd sense of calm had settled over him by the afternoon. It was thanks to Soobin’s help—they played games together that morning, Yeonjun even joining them for a few rounds, and Beomgyu’s competitive spirit soon eliminated his lingering nerves.
It wasn’t until a few hours in, when Soobin slipped away to shower, that Beomgyu allowed himself to think about their evening plans. He suddenly felt incredibly awkward sitting on the couch with Yeonjun, who was blissfully unaware.
He cleared his throat. “You’re going out with Taehyun tonight?’
“Yeah, we got dinner reservations at this new place—real quiet, so we were able to get a room. It’ll just be us,” Yeonjun said. “Taehyun says he wants to talk about something, but… we’ll see. We always get sidetracked.”
Beomgyu should’ve left when Soobin did. Why did he have to open his mouth?
“Do you have anything you’d like to talk with him about?” he asked instead. Should he try to give Yeonjun a hint? He didn’t seem at all concerned, despite the way Beomgyu had overheard him fretting over Taehyun a week ago.
A part of Beomgyu worried that Yeonjun might be annoyed that he had brought up his situation unprompted, but Yeonjun didn’t seem irritated at all. “No. Unless… it depends on what he wants to talk about.”
Beomgyu tried not to visibly cringe. Would Taehyun’s concerns give Yeonjun the opening he had been searching for, or would he panic?
“I’m sure it’ll be fine,” he said eventually, forcing himself to unclench his jaw.
Yeonjun held up the controller he’d stolen from Soobin. “One more round?”
Beomgyu wasn’t entirely in the mood, but it was something to do other than agonize over the other members. One more round, and he tried very hard not to think about the faint rush of water behind the bathroom door, or Kai’s earlier text promising that he and Taehyun would be home within the hour.
As they were wrapping up,, the front door rattled, opening to reveal Taehyun and Kai. “Missed us?” Taehyun asked, bounding over to Yeonjun, who croaked out his own greeting. “We’re leaving soon, right?”
“I’m ready when you are,” Yeonjun said, a strange sort of tension lingering in his voice.
Kai paused halfway through shrugging off his coat to give Beomgyu a meaningful look. Beomgyu hoped he wasn’t melting under the weight of Kai’s gaze.
“Where’s Soobin-hyung?” Taehyun asked. He tilted his head, listening. “Shower?”
Maybe I should shower, too, Beomgyu thought. A cold one.
Soobin had teased him last night. “You should jerk off before we start, or you’ll totally come while you watch. We’d take it as a compliment, but you might not like that.”
Admittedly, Beomgyu was quite certain that giving himself an orgasm beforehand wasn’t a guaranteed solution to that problem.
“Thieving all the hot water,” Yeonjun muttered. Taehyun took his place beside him, watching him with enormous, starry eyes.
“I’ll see you tonight, then?” Beomgyu said, jumping up. Tomorrow was more likely, but Taehyun echoed his words.
Kai, who had by this point managed to wrestle off his coat, wrapped an arm around Beomgyu. Come to my room? You can stay with me if you want, he thought. Beomgyu had intended on retreating to his room, but he couldn’t turn down Kai.
Kai’s room was full of comforting clutter like Soobin’s, although Beomgyu could generally see the organization within the madness—and Kai had become a neater person as he’d aged. Kai tended to be very particular about how he arranged his space, but he still mercilessly shoved his plushies to the floor to make room for Beomgyu.
Kai laid on his bed and patted the space beside him. Beomygyu stretched out next to him, not touching him, but an inch apart. Kai pillowed his head on his arm and smiled at Beomgyu.
“How was your morning?” Beomgyu asked. “Taehyun?”
“Good, good,” Kai said. “I’ve missed him a lot, even though we’re together every day…. We haven’t gotten to do something fun in a while.”
He launched into a description of the day Taehyun had planned for them—Taehyun was always the one to take charge in these situations, and Kai was content to follow him. Kai had always been easy-going like that, easy to please, preferring to have company above all.
In general, Beomgyu was more talkative than Kai, but Beomgyu was totally content to listen to Kai today. He didn’t have much to contribute, although Kai had been amused by Soobin and Yeonjun’s ongoing gaming rivalries.
This peaceful moment didn’t last for very long, though.
“There you are,” Soobin said, stepping into the room. His hair was still damp from his shower, his face flushed with warmth, and he was dressed in loose-fitting, comfortable clothing. “You look… cozy….”
“There’s room for another,” Kai said. He tipped his nose into the sensitive skin of Beomgyu’s neck, and Beomgyu flinched, ticklish. We need bigger beds… especially for this….
Kai wasn’t holding him today, but he left very intentional touches at calculated moments, giving Beomgyu brief flashes of his thoughts as he spoke. It only left Beomgyu craving more.
Soobin took the invitation, squeezing into the space on Kai’s other side. Kai shifted to accommodate him, patting his shoulder, where Soobin laid his head. Cozy, comfortable, a well-practiced pose.
“I wished you were here this morning,” Soobin said, one of his hands resting on Kai’s chest. “But I’m glad you spent time with Taehyun.”
“I’m here now,” Kai said. He kissed Soobin’s forehead, his arms coming to wrap around Soobin—one covering Soobin’s hand, the other finding its place on Soobin’s waist. “What do you want me to do for you now?”
In the distance, Beomgyu could make out the sound of footsteps, the front door closing.
Soobin lifted his head to kiss Kai properly. He held Kai’s face in both hands, stroking his cheeks with his thumbs, just looking at him for a moment. Kai’s lips were slightly parted.
“We have time to make up for,” Soobin said. “Kiss me again?”
Beomgyu had thought that Kai would be the one to enjoy kissing most, but Soobin was the one who begged for it, who took any and every opportunity to kiss them throughout the day, whenever nobody was looking. When Kai kissed him, he absolutely melted into it, releasing a sigh, letting Kai move him however he wished. Kai kissed him deeply, pressing their bodies together.
Shameless, Beomgyu sat up straighter to preserve his view. Soobin’s expression was soft, his eyes remaining closed even when Kai occasionally pulled away for air. Beomgyu could hear their breathing become heavier, and watched as Kai’s grip on Soobin’s waist became more firm.
Beomgyu was right with them, invited to participate however he wanted—but he wasn’t really a participant. He was an observer as Soobin and Kai carried along with the routines they had built in their nearly two years together, their casual intimacy burning into something brighter.
Beomgyu had watched them kiss before, but never beyond that. He’d seen them playfully tug at each other’s clothing, watched their hands wander as they kissed, but not this. In Kai’s bedroom, watching him slip a hand under Soobin’s shirt was a totally different experience. Soobin arched up into the touch rather than drawing away like he usually would.
Beomgyu hadn’t expected them to… jump right into it, but Soobin was right—they hadn’t spent much time together as a pair recently. Beomgyu could only stare as Kai pushed Soobin to the bed, tugging his shirt up, his hands roaming over exposed skin.
Through all of it, they didn’t stop kissing, barely pausing as Kai managed to pull the shirt over Soobin’s head. Kai parted from Soobin’s mouth, moving down to his neck, leaving a trail of wet kisses down his skin, faint red marks that would surely fade before morning.
Soobin liked that. He went nearly limp against the pillows, faint, breathy noises escaping him as Kai reached his chest. One of his hands tangled in Kai’s hair, stroking his head, the other reaching for Kai’s belt.
“Hyung,” Kai murmured, his lips trailing above Soobin’s navel.
Their relationship was a push-and-pull, Beomgyu realized. No words were exchanged as they swapped positions, Soobin removing Kai’s shirt. A part of Beomgyu had always been jealous of Kai’s body, so beautiful and broad, and he couldn’t tear his eyes away as Soobin exposed more and more of him. He’d seen Kai shirtless dozens and dozens of times, but he’d never been allowed to let himself linger on the visual like this.
Beomgyu was sure he must be trembling. Soobin had begun to grind against Kai, his hips working up a slow, steady rhythm. He pulled Kai up to kiss him, and Kai let out an airy moan between them.
“More?” Soobin asked. For the first time, his eyes met Beomgyu’s.
“You don’t have to just watch, hyung,” Kai reminded him. Beomgyu was too stunned to do anything, even though his hands itched to move. “You can help. And touch. Soobin-hyung?”
Soobin nodded. His eyes were dark, pupils blown wide.
Beomgyu swallowed, his mouth dry. “What should I—what do you want me to—”
“I’ll show you,” Kai said. He turned back to Soobin, his eyes locking on his face, one of his hands palming Soobin through his pants. Soobin’s eyes fell shut again, his face twitching. Beomgyu had never seen him like this before, so….
The words wouldn’t come to Beomgyu. Kai pulled Soobin’s pants down, and Beomgyu’s eyes darted away automatically before he remembered he was supposed to watch. Kai was right; Soobin was big, his half-hard cock resting against his thigh.
“You want me to fuck you tonight?” Kai asked. He took Soobin’s cock in hand, stroking it lazily.
“Yeah,” Soobin sighed. “I wanted to… I wanted to get ready for you, but I didn’t have time….”
“I’ll take care of you, then,” Kai said. “I like to do it.” He reached past Beomgyu, into the drawer of his nightstand, procuring the same bottle of lube he’d used with Beomgyu not long ago.
No condom, though, even though Beomgyu caught the flash of a wrapper as Kai nudged the drawer shut. What need would they have for condoms on a night like this, when they were exclusive, when there was no risk? One of them had mentioned it in passing when they’d talked about sex earlier, but Beomgyu had had more than enough new details to keep track of already.
Soobin turned his head to look at Beomgyu, and Beomgyu nearly whimpered. He couldn’t believe what was happening. He was in Kai’s bedroom, about to watch them have sex. It was the kind of image he could have only conjured in his filthiest wet dreams.
Soobin’s body was a work of art, lean muscle built from countless hours of practice, long limbs and perfect proportions. It took every ounce of self-control Beomgyu had left not to pounce on him, to be patient and wait to see what Kai was going to do next.
Kai grabbed one of his pillows. “Like this?” he asked. Soobin lifted his hips so that Kai could tuck it under him. His legs easily fell apart as Kai crawled between them, leaving just the right space for him.
Kai gave Soobin a quick kiss before reaching for the lube he’d dropped earlier. He opened the cap, pouring it onto his fingers, and looked up at Beomgyu.
“Beomgyu-hyung,” he said. “Kiss him?”
Beomgyu needed no further instructions. He lowered himself next to Soobin, wrapping his arms around him, and Soobin eagerly met him in a hungry kiss, his tongue slipping into Beomgyu’s mouth. It was so easy to kiss him like this, his desperation matching Beomgyu’s, and it sent tingling pleasure down his spine.
But it was difficult to focus on the kissing—this was the first time Beomgyu had properly touched Soobin or Kai since they’d started, and there were a dozen new sensations for Beomgyu to understand. —More, I need more, I want him to keep touching me…, Soobin thought. I can’t believe he’s looking at me…. I don’t want… I like that he’s looking, I’ve wanted this for so long, it’s good, ah Kai fuck he’s—he’s—
Beomgyu pulled back from the kiss, and Soobin whimpered. “This okay, hyung? You’re tense,” Kai said.
It was only then that Beomgyu realized what he was doing, what Soobin had reacted to. Beomgyu couldn’t see his hand from this angle, but Kai must have put a finger in him—Soobin’s nails were digging into Beomgyu’s shoulder, his limbs gone rigid. It’s been so long… we haven’t… ah, it’s just one….
Beomgyu was already starting to feel a bit lightheaded. He dipped his head to kiss Soobin again, gentle and slow even though Soobin seemed ready to return to their earlier pace. He caressed Soobin’s face with his hands, hoping the gesture was soothing.
Feels nice…. “I’m fine,” Soobin said. “Sorry, I’ll relax. I’m relaxed.”
“Don’t apologize,” Kai said. He nuzzled against Soobin’s knee. “It’s been a while. I’m gonna take my time, I want it to feel good.”
Soobin’s thoughts were hazy, sluggish. Yes… yes, I want that….
“Does it feel good?” Beomgyu asked. From Soobin’s mind, it was a different kind of pleasure, not as bright or as instantaneous as the feeling had been when Beomgyu had touched Kai, but a lingering warmth.
Beomgyu had only tried to finger himself a couple times before, and never gotten far enough with it for it to feel good the way he’d heard it was supposed to. But Soobin liked it a lot, apparently. Even the promise of what was to come sent his mind into an electric sort of fervor.
“Yes,” Soobin said, without thinking. His mind caught up a moment later. He probably wants me to describe it to him, he wants to know more… right? Or does he want to know so he can try? Of course he wants… but is it….
Beomgyu leaned down to kiss his forehead. He reached for one of Soobin’s hands, squeezing lightly.
He must be able to hear me, right? Does it feel good to him, when he can hear me? Does he find it hot? Or….
I should describe it. How do I describe it in a sexy way? Does he want it to be sexy? Should I even try? How much can he hear when—
—That was better— Soobin let out a shaky breath. Kai had changed the angle of his hand.
“It’s, like… it gets better when you keep going, when you… when you work up to it, the friction…. It gets more intense,” Soobin mumbled. “It’s good, it’s….”
—there, faster—
“Do you want more?” Beomgyu asked. The words didn’t sound like they were coming from him.
“Yeah,” Soobin said. “Yeah, I want… I’m ready.”
When Beomgyu looked up, Kai was grinning at him wildly. “Did you hear that?” he asked.
Beomgyu glanced at Soobin. “…Yes.”
“We’re going to have a lot of fun with that, while it lasts,” Kai said cheerfully, refocusing on Soobin.
It’s deep, Soobin thought, his nose scrunching up. That’s better, he’s so close to…. Two? Is he going to…. Oh my god. Kiss?
“Beomgyu,” Soobin choked. Beomgyu kissed him, focused on the way Soobin felt as his body adjusted to the intrusion of a second finger, his mind full of a pleasant glow accompanied by only a slight twinge of pain. The heat pooling in Beomgyu’s groin became impossible to ignore.
Kai started slowly, just as he’d promised, checking in with Soobin before he sped up. After all of Soobin’s musings on how long it had been since the last time they’d had sex, he adjusted to it easily. Beomgyu was completely caught up in watching him, fascinated by the clues both his body and mind gave, indicating that he was ready for more, that he wanted more.
Beomgyu tried to keep kissing Soobin all the while. Soobin didn’t voice it, but he felt disappointed whenever Beomgyu paused.
Soobin would occasionally make demands, but Kai was incredibly attuned to Soobin’s body. He would slow down whenever Soobin showed signs of discomfort, before Soobin had the chance to voice it. Kai seemed to know how to keep Soobin on edge, allowing the pleasure to steadily build while focused on his end goal.
“How do you feel, hyung?” Kai asked. Without halting the motions of his fingers, he leaned up so that he could kiss Soobin. Soobin was panting, his grip on Beomgyu’s hand painfully tight, which he seemed to be entirely unaware of.
Almost…. I want him. I need him. Need a little more.
“…Good,” Soobin breathed. “It feels good. I’m… ready.”
“You’re sure?”
No, Soobin’s mind admitted, though he didn’t seem any less eager or determined. “I want….”
“I know,” Kai said. “I want you too, you’re so good, opening up for me…. Beomgyu-hyung, isn’t he good? Is this what you imagined he’d be like?”
I hope… I want him to like this, I’m doing good, right? He thinks so too, right? He wants me? I want him to—
Beomgyu pressed his nose against the side of Soobin’s head, overwhelmed. “Even better. He’s perfect.”
I want him too, I want him to love me… Ahh….
Soobin’s head fell back against Beomgyu’s shoulder. Whenever Kai’s fingers rubbed against his prostate, his thoughts would be reduced to a pleasurable static hum.
“One more?” Kai asked.
“One more,” Soobin agreed. Kai adjusted the position of his hand to make room for a third finger.
Did it still hurt at all? Beomgyu didn’t think so. Soobin was a puddle in his arms. His legs twitched whenever Kai would thrust his fingers particularly deep. Beomgyu wasn’t entirely sure how to make it better for him, so he kept kissing Soobin, letting his hands wander—down to his nipples, to the soft skin of his stomach.
Feels full, Soobin thought. It’ll be even more when…. When’s he going to fuck me? I’ll come like this if he takes too long, if he…. If Beomgyu keeps looking like….
Me? Beomgyu wondered. Watching was hot—he understood that part, but he couldn’t believe how turned on Soobin seemed to be just from Beomgyu being there. Is that all I have to do?
Beomgyu swallowed hard. He tilted Soobin’s face with a hand and leaned down to kiss him, his heart beating madly in his chest.
“You’re so pretty, hyung,” he said against Soobin’s lips. “Always knew you were, and now… now you’re mine, too.”
He pulled back, still stroking Soobin’s face. Soobin’s lips were slightly parted, his face deeply flushed. His Adam’s apple dipped as he swallowed.
You like this, don’t you? Soobin thought. You like looking at me just as much as I want you to look, you look so… you look like Kai’s going to fuck you instead, but it’s because of what he’s doing to me. You want me. I want you to want me. I want….
He looked back at Kai, his voice broken when he spoke. “I’m ready now, Kai-yah. Don’t you want me?”
The way Soobin was watching Kai made Beomgyu quiver, his gaze unexpectedly piercing. So full of desire, but not needy. He was totally in charge, Kai prepared to give him everything he needed to feel good.
Kai let out a pained groan. “Fuck. So much, hyung—okay, I’m….”
He backed away from Soobin, fumbling to pull his pants down, and Beomgyu let go of Soobin to give him a chance to breathe. Kai took his place between Soobin’s legs again, pouring a generous amount of lube onto his cock.
“Beomgyu-hyung,” he said, his voice breaking. “Look, isn’t he—?”
Soobin was beautiful, Beomgyu knew that, but he couldn’t tear his eyes away from Kai now that he was fully undressed. His own abundance of clothing made him feel out of place, but that fleeting awkwardness was the least important feeling to him at that moment.
Beomgyu couldn’t help himself. He reached for Kai, pausing just before they touched. “Kiss?” he asked hopefully.
Kai kissed him, as requested. Beomgyu looped his arms around Kai’s shoulders, bringing them closer together.
Love this, so glad he’s here, I want him to kiss me more, Kai thought. His nose bumped against Beomgyu’s as he repositioned his head. Our Beomgyu, feels so good….
Beomgyu let out a choked moan. He felt so hot all over, desperate arousal coursing through him. He didn’t want Kai to stop touching him, not when they’d just started, but Soobin….
“You’re so hot,” Soobin said. “All mine, too. I’m so lucky.”
Beomgyu shivered. Kai gave him a few more brief kisses. Torn between the two of them, just like Beomgyu.
“Watch this, okay?” he said, before giving Beomgyu one more kiss. He flattened himself over Soobin, lining his cock up with him. Soobin’s legs hooked around Kai’s waist, the motion seemingly automatic.
Beomgyu was sure he was making some sort of dumb expression, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. Kai kissed Sooobin the same way he had Beomgyu, until Soobin complained, Kai-yah, you’ve kept me waiting for so long.
Beomgyu was certain he almost came in his pants as Kai began to thrust into Soobin. Kai moaned brokenly, and Soobin’s mouth fell open, his legs wrapping even tighter around Kai’s hips, urging him closer.
The view was indescribable. They panted against each other’s mouths, Soobin’s nails digging into Kai’s shoulders, Kai’s cock disappearing into him, inch by inch. Kai rocked into him slowly, but Soobin had been prepared thoroughly, and took Kai so easily.
“More, I can take it,” Soobin said, and Kai moaned as he sank his cock deeper into him.
Kai’s noises were so pretty. He sounded even prettier than he had the night Beomgyu had touched him, as though he truly couldn’t hold himself back. He was completely weak for Soobin, and it made Beomgyu’s heart sing.
He would get to be in that position someday. Would Kai make those same noises for him? Would he be this gentle when he fucked Beomgyu?
“Does it feel good?” Soobin asked, his voice hushed. Kai choked out something that sounded like a yes. “You feel—so good inside me, missed you so much, I want more….”
Kai kissed him again, pressing his lips so hard against Soobin’s that it must have been more uncomfortable than anything. His hips twitched against Soobin’s, sharp little thrusts. A gasp escaped Soobin as he pulled away.
His eyes met Beomgyu’s, and Beomgyu jolted. He wasn’t just an observer. Right, I’m supposed to….
“Soobin-hyung,” Beomgyu said. His voice was strangled, the words almost indecipherable even to his own ears. “Do you want me to—”
“Hold me,” Soobin said immediately. He pushed himself up on his elbows, and Kai slipped out of him. Beomgyu squished himself between Soobin and the pillows, so that Soobin could rest against his chest. Kai resumed his position, thrusting back into Soobin, his face so close to Beomgyu’s….
Beomgyu whined as Soobin’s thoughts rushed into his mind. It was more intense than earlier, the sensations even more overwhelming, even when the words weren’t entirely coherent. —so big it’s so much too much, this is perfect, Beomgyu feels good, want him to touch me, I need….
Kai sighed. “Hyung, can I—”
“Go,” Soobin choked out, and Kai’s thrusts picked up speed, the force of them pushing Soobin back against Beomgyu.
Soobin’s breath came in shaky gasps. His skin was hot, damp with sweat. More, I need more, that’s better, he thought as he trembled in Beomgyu’s arms. Almost, almost.
He reacted every time Kai changed his angle or his pace, sometimes enthusiastically, sometimes recognizing pauses as a necessary evil to draw this out. My pretty baby, when Kai would moan, and he voiced the praise effortlessly. So good, needed this so much, I’ve done this to him….
It was true—Kai looked just as ruined as Soobin did, his handsome face twisted up with pleasure. Beomgyu could only imagine what Kai must have been feeling, if it were anything like what Beomgyu could gather from Soobin’s mind.
The view was obscene, the sound was obscene, and the things Beomgyu heard in Soobin’s head were indescribable. If Beomgyu had thought watching them kiss was hot, he’d had absolutely no idea what was coming. It was nothing like porn, either, to have them in front of him, requesting an active role—though Beomgyu supposed the curse added to the experience, in this respect. He tried not to thrust up against Soobin’s back, sure he would come immediately.
“Soobin, Soobin-hyung,” Kai cried. His thrusts were even, heavy, consistently dragging against Soobin’s prostate. Soobin squirmed in Beomgyu’s arms. “Feels so good, needed you so much.”
One of his hands found Beomgyu’s, latching on tight. Beomgyu couldn’t make a sound, his mind torn in three different directions. So tight, so warm, he’s perfect, Kai thought, and Beomgyu muffled his moan against Soobin’s shoulder.
He squeezed Kai’s hand, and their eyes met. “Beautiful,” Beomgyu said weakly, and the praise sent a shock of molten joy through Kai’s mind.
Between all of the new sensations, the fragmented words in their minds, Beomgyu couldn’t focus on any one thing. He gave into the urge to thrust up against Soobin, absolutely rock hard, desperate for any sort of relief. He kissed Soobin’s neck until Soobin turned his head to kiss back, totally uncoordinated.
“Hyu—Hyuka, harder,” Soobin gasped, and Kai obeyed, his hips snapping into Soobin harder, faster. Rougher and more intense than before, but this was exactly what Soobin wanted. There, so close, don’t stop….
Kai moaned brokenly, his grip on Beomgyu’s hand tightening. It’s too much, I’m going to come like this….
“Are you close?” he asked, and Soobin nodded. Beomgyu had heard it in his mind, his thoughts becoming frantic, spilling into each other, but it was obvious in the way his body tensed up, too. Beomgyu gave up on kissing him, simply clinging to him.
Kai slowed his thrusts only briefly, to catch Soobin’s lips in a messy kiss. “Then come for us, sh-show Beomgyu-hyung how pretty you are, how… how good you can be….”
I can show him, I’ll be good, tell me more….
Soobin likes it when Kai takes control, Beomgyu realized, He likes it when Kai gives him orders.
He didn’t have time to linger on the revelation, though. He could barely string his own thoughts together as Soobin’s became more desperate. So close so close so close, almost, it’s not enough—
Kai picked upon it immediately. His eyebrows knitted together with concentration, his fingertips pressing into Soobin’s skin in a way that Beomgyu guessed was hard enough to bruise. He’s close, but it’s… ahh, I can’t… but Beomgyu—
“Touch him,” Kai ordered. “He likes it when you—yes, like that—”
Touch me touch me—
Beomgyu slid his hand between them to grab at Soobin’s cock. He dragged his fingers through the precome dripping from the tip, and Soobin’s hips weakly twitched into Beomgyu’s hand. So much, so much….
Between Kai’s unrelenting thrusts against his prostate and Beomgyu’s tight grip on his cock, Soobin was helpless. His mind nearly blanked out, focused on the singular thought of close close close, secure with Beomgyu behind him and Kai on top of him. He nearly wailed as he came, his cock twitching as he spilled into Beomgyu’s hand.
Perfect, Kai thought, a deep sense of satisfaction slamming into him. So beautiful when he comes, ah he’s so tight, I’m gonna come I can’t—
Kai fucked Soobin through his orgasm, even as his moans faded into high-pitched little noises. His expression was tortured, but it was only another minute before his hips jerked against Soobin’s, thrusting into him for the last time. He gasped beautifully, his mind overwhelmed by white-hot pleasure.
Filling me, Soobin thought distantly. Finally. Just like I wanted.
Beomgyu whimpered.
It took a moment for them to catch their breath, coming down from their highs. Soobin slumped against Beomgyu, totally boneless, unhooking his limbs from around Kai. Kai let go of Beomgyu’s hand and began to pull out. His softening cock was wet, glistening with his come and leftover lube. Beomgyu could only imagine what Soobin must look like, totally spent, used….
Empty, Soobin thought, with a twinge of discomfort. Hate that. He curled in on himself a bit, shivering. Beomgyu held him closer, pressing nervous kisses to the side of Soobin’s head, his own body trembling viciously.
Kai leaned up to give Soobin a kiss. “Feel good?” he asked. “Nothing hurts?”
Soobin shook his head. My Hyuka, baby. “That was just what I wanted. You take such good care of me. I love you.”
Kai smiled. “Love you.” His eyes met Beomgyu’s, somehow shier than earlier. “Hyung…?”
“You’re so sexy,” Beomgyu said. “So… so hot, I can’t….”
“Everything felt good?” Kai asked.
“Yes. Perfect.” Mind reading. Wasn’t that supposed to be a problem?
Good, that went as well as it could have… we haven’t scarred him or anything, Soobin thought, weary. …Hopefully…. Ow. I’m going to be sore tomorrow.
Kai’s smile grew even larger. “I wanted to last longer,” he lamented. “But, Beomgyu-hyung, when you’re watching—”
“I wasn’t going to last longer if you touched me. You know that,” Soobin said.
He pushed himself up and off of Beomgyu, leaving him feeling very exposed. He was suddenly hyper-aware of Soobin’s come, sticky between his fingers, of how tense his own limbs had grown. He was so hard it practically hurt, and he fidgeted, bringing his knees up to his chest.
Soobin and Kai noticed his discomfort at the same time. “Beomgyu-yah,” Soobin said. “Do you want… I can help….”
Beomgyu was so unfocused, so distracted by his own arousal, that it took him an extra moment to realize what Soobin was saying. Soobin turned to face Beomgyu, his hands coming to rest on Beomgyu’s thighs.
“I want to suck you off,” Soobin clarified. “I want you to come.” I have to help him. I could feel him, he’s waited this whole time…. It’d feel so much better if I helped him. He did good for us.
“Hyung, you don’t have to….” Wasn’t Soobin exhausted? Beomgyu was embarrassingly on edge. He didn’t exactly need Soobin’s help.
“But do you want it?” Soobin asked, his eyes boring into Beomgyu. I want to do this for him…. He’s never had this before, he’s going to love it.
If Soobin really wanted to, how could Beomgyu say no? Tonight was supposed to be about Soobin and Kai, not Beomgyu’s first blowjob, but he couldn’t complain. He didn’t really want to take care of himself alone, not when Soobin was right here, ready and waiting, his soft, full lips completely captivating….
“Yes,” Beomgyu said. “Yes, please.”
“Fuck,” Kai whispered. “Soobin-hyung….”
Soobin hooked his fingers under the waistband of Beomgyu’s pants. “Off?” he asked, and Beomgyu lifted up to help him. He couldn’t feel ashamed in front of them, not after he’d watched them have sex, but his face still heated up as Soobin looked at him for the first time.
“Kai was right. You have a pretty cock,” Soobin said. He’s totally going to come in, like… three seconds. Surprised he hasn’t already.
“I—I thought Kai didn’t tell you anything,” Beomgyu stammered, too caught up in the visual of Soobin’s lips an inch from his cock to care about Soobin’s thoughts.
“That doesn’t count. It was important information,” Soobin said. He let out a sigh, and Beomgyu flinched as the warmth of his breath touched his skin.
Soobin wrapped a hand around the base of his cock, steadying him, and looked up at Beomgyu as he pressed a kiss to the tip.
Beomgyu’s eyes slammed shut. He couldn’t watch this. He couldn’t. His hands bunched in the sheets as Soobin’s tongue grazed his cock, tracing the length of him, hot and wet and like nothing Beomgyu had ever felt before.
“Fuck. Fuck,” Beomgyu hissed.
So beautiful, responsive, Soobin thought. Should I give him more? I can take him.
Beomgyu couldn’t have prepared himself for what he would feel when Soobin took the head of his cock into his mouth. Soobin had barely started, but it was an explosion of intense feeling, even better than he had imagined.
“Soobin,” Beomgyu said, his voice ragged. He didn’t know whether he wanted to ask Soobin to pause or to beg for more. Would it be humiliating to start begging the moment Soobin had gotten his mouth on him?
Maybe it was more humiliating that Soobin expected it. Just like I thought, I’m gonna make him come like this. He sank down further onto Beomgyu’s cock, stroking him with his hand, and Beomgyu let out a weak cry.
It didn’t take much, not at all. Beomgyu allowed himself to be lost in the feeling, in Soobin licking and sucking his cock, in the flood of powerful new sensations. He could barely comprehend Soobin’s thoughts, singularly focused on making Beomgyu feel good, on tracking his minute reactions and testing different motions. He was whimpering, breathing heavily through his nose.
Beomgyu’s orgasm crept up on him so abruptly that he didn’t recognize what was happening until he had reached the brink. He gasped, reaching for Soobin’s hair, frantic. “Hyung, I’m—I’m—”
Beomgyu didn’t have the chance to get the words out properly before he came down Soobin’s throat. Soobin whined, one hand tensing on Beomgyu’s thigh. Fuck, fuck, have to swallow—
Soobin didn’t pull off until Beomgyu slumped against the pillows, completely spent. Slowly, he lifted his head. He licked his lips, watching Beomgyu with wide, glassy eyes. Beomgyu felt faint.
“I’m sorry,” he said. His legs were trembling. “I meant to—”
Soobin shook his head and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. His lips were shiny, damp with spit. “I knew. I wanted you to.”
Beomgyu’s head was spinning. Maybe his soul had left him through his cock.
“Soobin-hyung,” Kai said, reaching for Soobin and pulling him up. Beomgyu had nearly forgotten he was watching, but now he could see the desperation written all over his face. “Hyung.”
He met Soobin in a passionate kiss, the two of them melting together as though they’d never been apart. “You’re amazing,” Kai breathed. “You, taking both of us. Incredible.”
Soobin gave him a sleepy sort of smile. “Someday I’ll do it at the same time. What do you think?”
Kai practically moaned, hiding his face against Soobin’s shoulder. If it were possible, Beomgyu would have gotten hard all over again. Watching them kiss was still so hot, even after everything else he’d watched tonight.
“How was that?” Soobin asked, somewhat smug. “Your first blowjob. I did good, right?”
“Y-Yeah, you’re… you did good,” Beomgyu said. He couldn’t believe Soobin. Soobin! “I want to try it on you next, I want….”
Soobin beamed at him. “I’ll look forward to it, then. Next time.”
Kai let out another pained, desperate noise. Beomgyu thought he should check on him later.
The reason they’d let Beomgyu watch them have sex… Beomgyu could barely remember it now. Maybe Soobin had truly broken him with that blowjob.
Most importantly, he had an answer to their questions now. It had come to him the moment he’d begun holding Soobin and felt what was in his mind.
“I want you,” Beomgyu said, sitting up so that he could press a kiss to Soobin’s lips. “I know what I want now. I want to fuck you, I want to feel you the way Kai does, I….”
He took a deep breath. “I want to make you feel as good as he does.”
Even with the mind reading, he knew he couldn’t match the years of experience Soobin and Kai had with each other. Now that he’d gotten a taste of what they had felt, though, he knew he knew what he needed to try.
Soobin gave him a triumphant grin. “I want that, too.”
“The next time we have a day like this,” Beomgyu said. If they didn’t have time tonight, he wanted to try as soon as possible. Now that he knew what was waiting for him, he’d never felt more ready. “Let’s kick Taehyun and Yeonjun out.”
“Yes, please,” Kai said, breaking into laughter. He let go of Soobin so that he could kiss Beomgyu instead. “I’m so happy. You want us. You want this.”
“More than anything,” Beomgyu said. Just as much as they did, as he’d felt in their thoughts. There was no way he could doubt the strength of Kai’s—or Soobin’s—feelings for him, not when they trusted him with this. He couldn’t feel anything but safe with them at his side.
“Well, that’s more than I ever wanted to know about Jungkook-hyung,” Taehyun said, fidgeting in the rolling studio chair.
“That’s what Kai said,” Beomgyu said. “But he’ll probably want to talk to you if this happens to you, too.”
“It’s not going to happen to me,” Taehyun said. “I have….” He paused to count. “Nine months. I’m going to lose my virginity sometime in the next nine months.”
“Or you’ll put it off for all the same reasons I did,” Beomgyu said. “What about tour?”
“Then I’ll have a really memorable one night stand in some foreign country where they’re less likely to know my name,” Taehyun said, doing a little half-spin in the chair. “I’m warming up to the idea.”
Taehyun was still working on the same song he’d asked Beomgyu for help on weeks ago. He’d taken a break from it and sent it off to the other members, but had started again this week, hoping that a fresh pair of eyes would be the answer.
Beomgyu hadn’t been particularly interested in the song when Taehyun had asked for company in the studio. He was sure anything Taehyun came up with would be stronger than his own lyrics—after all, the concept had completely stumped him, while Taehyun had been invested from the beginning. But studio time was an opportunity to gossip, and Beomgyu needed a good gossiping session.
He hadn’t figured out how to ask Taehyun about his conversation with Yeonjun yet. Taehyun hadn’t brought it up, which Beomgyu assumed meant it hadn’t ended catastrophically. He was dying to know the details, though. He’d been the one to suggest Taehyun should talk to Yeonjun, after all.
The other reason he hadn’t asked was that Yeonjun had also agreed to join them in the studio today, and could arrive at any moment. Beomgyu had been hoping that he would be able to guess how their conversation had gone based on how they interacted, but nothing had seemed amiss in the past few days. Maybe Taehyun had chickened out after all.
Beomgyu pulled one of the couch’s pillows into his lap. “I thought you didn’t want to do it with a stranger.”
Taehyun shrugged. “Maybe doing it with a stranger is worth not getting the curse. I think I’d be able to hide it, like you… but I’d worry about what it would be like when I actually did get to lose my virginity.” He tilted his head at Beomgyu. “But that’s also gone smoothly for you, hasn’t it…?”
Beomgyu cringed. He was extremely grateful for the privacy of the studio—speaking about his relationship here made him incredibly wary. That was one of the rules he had with Soobin and Kai, after all—no relationship talk during work hours—but he’d actually broken that rule an hour ago. As soon as the door was shut, he hadn’t been able to resist spilling everything to Taehyun—what he’d learned from Jungkook, and how he was planning to remedy it with his boyfriends.
He’d left out the details of what exactly he’d done with Soobi and Kai on their time off, though, only vaguely alluding to experimentation. That was his precious secret, something that made his heart flutter every time he remembered it.
…More than just his heart reacted. He’d stepped out of practice during a very inconvenient moment yesterday.
“You know everything already,” Beomgyu said, lying through his teeth. “We haven’t done anything that would make the curse go away.”
“But you’ve done something,” Taehyun drawled.
“I hate that you always know,” Beomgyu said, squeezing the pillow. Taehyun shrugged. “I don’t think anything’s changed since then. I haven’t noticed it, at least.”
In truth, Beomgyu hadn’t been expecting to try anything other than handjobs before he lost his virginity. He’d come to the conclusion that losing his virginity meant experiencing a combination of firsts, and, following their theory that the curse was determined by a person’s personal definition of virginity, it made sense that Beomgyu had only lost a portion of his mind reading after the handjob. Following this, the blowjob should have removed even more of his ability.
If anything had changed since they’d had sex, it wasn’t enough for Beomgyu to notice the difference. Maybe penetrative sex simply outweighed the rest.
Taehyun leaned back in the chair. “Hm.”
Beomgyu couldn’t help but squirm. “We’re trying not to… rush it or anything. Because you’re right, it’s going to be awkward for me to be able to read their minds. They’re okay with it, but it’ll be awkward for me, at least… so we’re giving it time.”
“Actual sex won’t be much different. You already know what they think about when they come. Can’t get more intimate than that,” Taehyun said, his tone so matter-of-fact that Beomgyu felt the urge to scream. He sounded so confident about it, too. “But I still don’t plan on being a virgin when I’m twenty-three.”
“I think you’d be better at this than me,” Beomgyu said with a sigh. “I bet you would’ve figured out how to guess the curse faster.”
Taehyun shook his head. “If I weren’t worried about it, I wouldn’t be planning how to avoid it. Like, I’m finally going on a date.”
Wait. What?
That changed things.
“A date—?”
The words had barely left Beomgyu’s mouth before the door to the studio swung open. There were only a few people who had access, but Beomgyu nearly leaped out of his seat.
As predicted, it was only Yeonjun. “Sorry I’m late,” Yeonjun said. He dumped his bag on the ground by the door and shook his hair out of his eyes. “I kept getting caught up in things… none of that matters now. What have I missed?”
He sat on the other end of the couch. He looked happy, relaxed—a bit tired, but that could be chalked up to their recent busy work schedules. Beomgyu couldn’t detect the awkwardness that Taehyun had described earlier, so either Yeonjun was feeling better, or he was doing an incredibly good job at faking it.
“We haven’t started talking about the song yet,” Taehyun said, absentmindedly tapping his keyboard. “Just other things.”
“Oh? Like what?”
Maybe Taehyun didn’t hear me, Beomgyu thought desperately. He didn’t react to the question. If Taehyun did have a date lined up, and he described it in front of Yeonjun, things might turn very awkward very fast. Yeonjun was a professional, but Beomgyu knew it would ache.
“I was telling Beomgyu about the date I’m going on next weekend,” Taehyun announced.
The world slowed down. Beomgyu turned to Yeonjun, afraid of what he might find in his expression—but it didn’t waver. “Ah, I see,” Yeonjun said instead. “Right. Your date.” He made himself comfortable against the remaining pillows, sliding his phone out of his pocket to scroll through his notifications. Totally casual.
“I’m excited,” Taehyun continued. “I’m fond of them, so it’ll be fun.”
Beomgyu glanced at Yeonjun again, but— nothing. Yeonjun was an exceptional actor. Or maybe Beomgyu had simply been pathetic around Soobin and Kai for the last year.
Beomgyu coughed. “That’s good. It’s the best when you can have fun.”
“I really have a good feeling about it,” Taehyun said. “I’ll need second date ideas soon. Maybe I won’t get the virgin curse.”
Yeonjun barked a laugh. “That won’t be a problem. I don’t know who wouldn’t want you.”
Were they going on the date together? Beomgyu didn’t understand why Yeonjun was so nonchalant about this. Had he gotten over Taehyun that fast, like he said he would? Beomgyu doubted that was possible. He’d sounded so sad and desperate when Beomgyu had listened to his mind.
But if they were going together, they were keeping it a secret for some reason. That might explain Yeonjun’s total lack of a reaction and Taehyun’s vague descriptions, at least. When Soobin and Kai had come clean about their relationship, Taehyun and Yeonjun had agreed that they would be similarly open about their own relationships, but maybe this wasn’t a true relationship yet. Were they… testing the waters? Trying something casual to see if they’d fit together.
Yeonjun had said he didn’t want to do anything casual, but he wasn’t the type to rush into commitment before he was ready, either. That could make sense—one date, to explore any budding feelings.
But all of this sounded far too conspiratorial to be true, even to Beomgyu. He couldn’t think about this.
“So… the song,” Taehyun said. “Yeonjun-hyung and I have been working on it, but we’re not sure what to do with the end bit. Beomgyu-hyung, do you want to look at it? Maybe you’ll have ideas now that we’ve added to it, but it’s fine if you don’t. We’ll keep working on it while you’re here, and you can tell us if it sucks.”
Beomgyu snorted. “I can try. It’s almost done?”
“Yeah. I mean, it’ll definitely be edited a lot, but there’s one verse left to write. Don’t know why it’s taken us so long….”
Beomgyu stood from the couch, crossing the room so that he could read the words on Taehyun’s screen. A few verses were largely unchanged from the last time Beomgyu had seen the song, with some minor adjustments to the word choice, and some notes added in the margins. But most of the sections Taehyun had been struggling with before had been completely reworked, new lyrics written in place.
“Yeonjun-hyung did almost all of it,” Taehyun said. “He totally got what I was trying to explain… I think he did a way better job with it than I could have, honestly.”
Beomgyu squinted at the screen.
If he’d thought that Taehyun was talented at melancholic love songs, he was totally unprepared for Yeonjun. Maybe Beomgyu and Taehyun had agreed that the song didn’t need to reference their experiences, but Beomgyu was fully convinced that Yeonjun’s lyrics did. They were uncomfortably close to everything Yeonjun had confessed to Beomgyu, the wording far too similar to be believably coincidental.
Nobody would notice the coincidence except Beomgyu, though. Yeonjun wore his heart on his sleeve, but there were still some secrets he kept close to his chest. A song was the ideal way to bridge that gap, the best way for artists like them to convey their feelings, the language Taehyun was most fluent in.
“It’s….” Beomgyu swallowed. “It’s great, hyung. And for the last bit….”
“There’s meant to be a bit of a story in the lyrics. We’re just trying to figure out how to summarize that….”
Beomgyu gave Yeonjun a very pointed stare, but he didn’t react. Yeonjun must have known that Beomgyu would guess immediately, but he didn’t look too concerned.
“...so, we really just need to have something there. It can be a shitty draft. But wouldn’t it be a letdown for the ending to be dull after we finally figured out the rest of the lyrics? We were making such great progress….”
“I can work on it,” Beomgyu said. “I think… I might have an idea. Paper?”
Yeonjun held up one of the beaten notebooks Taehyun had left lying around. Beomgyu returned to his spot on the couch, and Yeonjun handed him both the notebook and a pen.
“They’re really good lyrics, hyung,” Beomgyu said, giving Yeonjun a little smile. He hoped that conveyed some sense of reassurance. Whatever Yeonjun was trying to do with the lyrics, Beomgyu trusted him to handle. Yeonjun wouldn’t risk something so precious to him.
Yeonjun reached forward to squeeze his hand. “Thank you. It’s going to be a good song, but that’s because of Taehyun. He made it easy.” They do their job.
Taehyun of all people wouldn’t assume there was a hidden meaning in Yeonjun’s lyrics… but he was sharp. Yeonjun wasn’t trying hard to stay hidden—he’d found another way to work through his feelings than just talking to Taehyun.
Still, Beomgyu had a job to do. He curled up again, flipping the notebook open to a new page. The paper was slightly dented; whoever had written in it last had pressed down harder than necessary. He ran his fingertips over the grooves, thinking.
It had been a while since he’d sat down to write lyrics—nothing noteworthy since Freefall, when he’d found success with “Blue Spring” and “Dreamer,” though their next album was on the horizon. Even if he weren’t expected to contribute, the desire to write would still be there—it was something deeply ingrained in him, an inseparable part of his identity.
He always would have found his way back eventually, regardless of why he’d stopped in the first place. Now, his heaviest burdens had been lifted from his shoulders. He could fully throw himself into this without thinking about it at all.
Beomgyu uncapped his pen, and for the first time in weeks, began to write.
The first thing Beomgyu did was take the most thorough shower of his entire life.
He’d woken up far earlier than normal that morning, even though he’d managed to tame his anticipation into something respectable. A normal level of excitement for their day off, which meant that Taehyun and Yeonjun had some couple shit planned outside the dorm, and Soobin, Beomgyu, and Kai had plenty to do inside.
The shower was the first item on Beomgyu’s personal list. A necessity, but also a small comfort, and a chance for his brain to slow down. None of the other members were awake yet, so he could justify standing under the spray for an unnecessary amount of time, letting the warm water wash over him like an embrace. And he felt extra clean. That was a plus.
Then he brushed his teeth no less than three times, which he later learned he wasn’t supposed to do. Something about microabrasions. Oh, well.
“You’re up early,” Yeonjun commented as Beomgyu left the shower. He gave Beomgyu a sly sort of grin. “Big day?”
“I could say the same for you,” Beomgyu said.
Ugh, embarrassing. He didn’t need to tell Yeonjun what he was planning on doing today, Yeonjun would sniff it out on him. But today, he was lucky, and Yeonjun didn’t take the opportunity to tease him as he normally would have.
Before he could risk any further unfortunate encounters, Beomgyu scurried to his room.
He’d meant to get ready last night, but he’d gotten home late, and promptly fallen asleep. At least he felt well-rested today, he thought, as he changed his sheets. Was there a point in changing them now if he’d have to change them again later? At least they’d be comfortable.
Soobin and Kai had insisted that they should do this in Beomgyu’s room, since it would be the place he was most comfortable. Then they’d shared the stories of all the times Soobin had backed out of sex because he’d felt too awkward with Odi in his room, only to give in when he realized there was nowhere else they could go.
And then there were all the awkward instances where they’d tried to have sex in Taehyun and Kai’s shared room instead, but Kai had felt just as weird having sex in a room that was technically Taehyun’s as Soobin felt about having sex in front of his pet. Usually Soobin was the first to give in. It had been a great relief, apparently, when they changed dorms.
“Why didn’t you just get a hotel?” Beomgyu asked. It was something they had discussed as a possibility if they couldn’t have the dorm to themselves and Beomgyu found the curse to be intolerable. They’d also pointed out that they could have sex even while Taehyun and Yeonjun were home, as long as they were quiet, but Beomgyu didn’t want to worry about that for his first time.
“Like a love hotel?” Kai had cackled.
“Imagine explaining that to anyone,” Soobin had said. “Maybe we’ll go on a trip someday, so we have a cover story.”
“And then what? Spend our whole vacation fucking?” Kai asked. Soobin hadn’t sounded opposed to that, though Kai had pointed out that it would be a lot of extra cardio on their day off.
Beomgyu fidgeted pointlessly with the items on his desk, changing their order and promptly moving them back. He’d never had the experience of inviting someone over—he’d never reached that point when he was younger, and besides, it would have felt terribly awkward to invite a partner to his shared dorm. Was there some sort of etiquette he was meant to follow?
It wasn’t as though Soobin and Kai hadn’t already seen the inside of his room dozens of times. They knew how Beomgyu liked to keep his things. Kai always complimented the lighting. Soobin had recently bought him a new candle to add to his collection.
Beomgyu dug through his desk drawer for a lighter and lit the candle. Vanilla, something Soobin would like.
His to-do list for the day wasn’t very extravagant. Shower, organize his room. Later: call his father, have a nice meal to celebrate the day off. Most importantly: lose his virginity.
Taehyun and Yeonjun should be leaving soon, right? Beomgyu hadn’t been paying attention when they’d described their plan for today over last night’s dinner.
He sighed. He couldn’t imagine calling his father and having a straight-faced conversation with the knowledge of what he was about to do. He’d barely spoken to his parents since his birthday, too afraid that he would crack and spill his secret, which would undoubtedly concern them beyond imagination. That was why he’d promised to call today—they were concerned for him, and he couldn’t always blame his silence on work.
At least he didn’t have to worry about hiding that enormous secret from his parents anymore. If Jungkook was right, if having sex was the solution— God, Beomgyu hoped it was the solution— today would be the final day of his suffering. He would finally be free to continue living his life as he had before, no thoughts in his mind but his own.
It was the first day in weeks that he’d woken up with hope in his heart. It felt like a great day to finally catch up on all the things he’d neglected while he’d been preoccupied with the curse.
The phone call turned out to be a good distraction, although Beomgyu soon remembered that he had another secret to keep. The three of them agreed that Beomgyu could tell his parents if he wanted to, but Beomgyu wasn’t sure he was emotionally ready for that. They didn’t know he was bisexual, and even if he was confident that they wouldn’t reject him for that, he couldn’t imagine having that conversation with them anytime soon.
Besides, that wasn’t what he wanted to worry about on the day he planned to lose his virginity. He found otherthings to speak about, and by the time he had hung up, Kai was knocking on his door.
“Good morning,” Kai chirped. He tipped his head at the candle. “Is that from Soobin?”
Beomgyu ducked his head. “You know how he gets when you don’t use his gifts.”
“Do I ever,” Kai said, sitting beside Beomgyu on the bed. If he had a tail, Beomgyu was sure it would be wagging behind him. “Taehyun said he and Yeonjun are heading out soon.”
“You’re awfully eager,” Beomgyu said.
Kai gave a slight smile. “It felt kind of… indecent to come sooner, even just to talk. I know they’re onto us. It made me feel like I was sneaking around my parents.”
“But you’re not here just to talk,” Beomgyu said.
“All I want is to spend time with my boyfriend,” Kai said, playfully indignant. “Besides, Soobin-hyung has things to do. We can watch a show or something.”
They cuddled up together in Beomgyu’s bed, Kai clinging to Beomgyu’s side while Beomgyu balanced his laptop on his legs. This was much better than spending his days off alone, Beomgyu decided. Kai was warm and secure and solid beside him. His delicate fingers played with Beomgyu’s hands, sending tingles down his spine.
Surprisingly, Kai’s thoughts were mostly innocent. At least, they were more innocent than Beomgyu’s, fixated on the conversation they were having as they complained about the mediocre acting in the drama Soobin had recommended to them. The only difference from usual was that, interspersed between Kai’s normal passing thoughts, he kept circling back to I get to watch Beomgyu-hyung fuck Soobin today!
It wasn’t always that. Sometimes it was It’ll be so nice if Beomgyu likes this, Soobin will be so happy that he has another person to fuck him, or I should let Beomgyu fuck me too, he would be so pretty on top of me, or He doesn’t even need to be fucking me to be on top of me. And then he’d go right back to his normal stream of thoughts as though those words weren’t enough to make Beomgyu squirm.
In fact, Beomgyu was surprised that Kai hadn’t caught onto the squirming yet. They were just passing thoughts, but each one was enough to send Beomgyu’s heart racing. Maybe that was the one thing Beomgyu would miss about the curse: listening to all of Kai’s fantasies.
He had a feeling that Kai would just tell him those fantasies, if he asked. Everything he’d learned about Kai suggested that he was a gentle lover.
They made it through one episode like that and started another before the tension started to become unbearable. Kai wasn’t intentionally doing this to him, was he?
Would it be all that surprising if he were?”
Wonder if Soobin’s done in the shower yet. Would he mind if we continued this without him? It’s such a shitty show, and it’s totally his fault for taking so long… this is precious time! Kai thought, his indignation strangely adorable. It was rare that Beomgyu got to see this impatient side of Kai.
“We don’t have to wait for Soobin to start,” Beomgyu blurted, and Kai lifted his head, watching him with curious eyes. “I mean—don’t start taking my clothes off, but if he won’t be much longer—”
“Ah, I see. His loss,” Kai said. “We can have a little fun without him, don’t you think…?”
I can definitely at least kiss him. That doesn’t involve taking clothes off!
Beomgyu laughed. “Come here.”
Kai always held him so tenderly when they kissed, no matter how eager he was, no matter how desperately he wanted Beomgyu. Today, he let Beomgyu climb on top of him, his hands resting on Beomgyu’s waist for support while Beomgyu cupped his face. He liked to kiss slowly but passionately, dragging everything out, savoring every sensation.
It made Beomgyu terribly impatient, but he couldn’t deny that he loved it. So different from Soobin, but equally secure. How had he gotten so lucky?
It was addicting to feel Kai react under him, his hands grabbing at Beomgyu, his body tensing up under Beomgyu as though he couldn’t help himself from asking for more. Got him right where I want him, Kai thought hazily. Love, love….
“What the hell! You weren’t supposed to start without me.”
At the sound of Soobin’s voice, Beomgyu climbed off Kai. Soobin’s hair was fluffy, recently blow-dryed, he wore a loose-fitting shirt that Beomgyu recognized as one of Kai’s. He was frowning deeply, the expression too amusing to be serious.
“Oops,” Kai said. “Should we have shut the door?”
“Took too long,” Beomgyu complained, turning back to Kai. He didn’t really care who was kissing him as long as they didn’t stop. Kai welcomed the kiss, his hands resting comfortably on Beomgyu’s shoulders. I’m sure Soobin-hyung appreciates the view. He loves when we do this.
As they kissed, Soobin sat beside them. Kai was the one to invite him in, pulling away from Beomgyu to murmur, “You too, hyung.”
“Beomgyu,” Soobin said, a note of desperation slipping into his voice. “Can I touch—?”
“Yes,” Beomgyu said. Soobin didn’t need to ask. There was no point in being reserved about touch now, not when they were about to have sex. If Beomgyu hadn’t been able to overcome his anxiety by now, he would have had to adjust very quickly.
Soobin smiled. “Can I kiss you, then?”
Beomgyu considered teasing him, making him wait until he was done with Kai. Instead, he nodded. He needed Soobin, wanted him more than ever.
Beomgyu sat up, pulling Soobin in by the collar. Finally, Soobin thought, leaning in to kiss Beomgyu. His hands fell to Beomgyu’s waist, fingertips sliding under Beomgyu’s shirt. So soft, my Beomgyu.
Beomgyu heard Kai’s shaky exhale. Soobin kissed him deeply, leaving Beomgyu feeling warm and tingly all over. Soobin moaned faintly, his lips parting further, letting Beomgyu trace his mouth with his tongue.
Soobin rapidly became impatient, just like Beomgyu. He climbed into Beomgyu’s lap, his knees settling on either side of Beomgyu, lining them up. Just like that. Feels good, doesn’t it?
It wasn’t fair that he could work Beomgyu up this easily. Beomgyu had to actively focus so as not to begin trembling, his heart beating double time. Soobin kept up the steady grind of his hips as Beomgyu broke away to kiss his neck instead, under his jaw, down to his collarbones. Soobin was making these soft, whimpering noises, peaking in intensity as Beomgyu sucked on his skin.
Don’t want him to hold back… could we get away with leaving marks? Just this once, don’t want to worry about it…. Makeup worked with Kai…. Ah, don’t stop don’tstop don’t—
Soobin gave a choked gasp, his hips clumsily thrusting against Beomgyu’s. Beomgyu lifted his teeth from Soobin’s skin. Soobin was so responsive, his body lighting up with every one of Beomgyu’s touches.
Beomgyu could feel the way Soobin was growing against him, his cock right against Beomgyu’s, and the thought alone made Beomgyu shiver. I get to have him today, and it still didn’t feel real. The moment he’d dreamed of for nearly two years, in his guiltiest moments. I can have him, everything I want.
Kai sat up, edging closer to Soobin. Soobin turned his head to kiss him, Need you, baby, please, please, please….
One of Kai’s hands found Beomgyu’s thigh, giving him a gentle squeeze. …Perfect, isn’t he, our Soobin, we’ll make him feel good….
I don’t want to wait anymore, we’ve wanted this for so long….
They fit so well together, but there was still room for Beomgyu. I get to have them both.
Kai pulled away from Soobin to kiss Beomgyu instead. Wait, don’t go, Soobin thought, only for the thought to be replaced by, Oh my god, that’s so hot, don’t stop when he realized what Beomgyu and Kai were doing. This time, Beomgyu was the one to thrust up against Soobin, his hips jerking involuntarily, seeking that perfect sensation.
How had Beomgyu gone so much of his life without this? They fell into place as naturally, as if Beomgyu had been with them this whole time instead of being their recent addition.
Keep going, like that, Kai thought. wrapping his arms around Beomgyu’s middle as Beomgyu returned to kissing Soobin. Kai’s fingers wrapped around the hem of Beomgyu’s shirt, much like Soobin had touched him earlier. I want to see him.
Beomgyu whimpered. The way Soobin kissed was relentless, overwhelming, and Beomgyu melted into Kai’s arms. Soobin crowded over him, and Beomgyu’s heart skipped a beat as Soobin pulled away just long enough to look at him, his stare intense, hungry. I want him more, this is perfect, I get to have him inside me….
A burst of adrenaline and arousal shot through Beomgyu. He couldn’t stand it. The way Soobin was looking at him was too much. He struggled to find words, but knew he needed to say something.
“Fuck,” Beomgyu gasped. “Fuck, y-you’re….”
“Hyung,” Kai said. He pressed his lips to Beomgyu’s neck, just enough to make him shiver. “You want it now?”
“So much,” Beomgyu said. “More than anything.”
He needed this, needed to see them, needed to let them see him and touch him exactly the way they had imagined, the way he had caught them fantasizing about weeks ago.
“Can we undress you?” Kai asked. “Wanna see you.”
“Yes,” Beomgyu whispered.
Ohh…. Oh, we get to see him. Finally, Soobin thought. Got to touch his cock last time, but it’s different when it’s all—
He slid out of Beomgyu’s lap, wincing. His pants looked to be painfully tight.
I can’t believe we get to see him, Kai thought. His breathing was heavier than before, precisely controlled. Beomgyu cooperated as Kai pulled the shirt over his head.
Being naked for his boyfriends, Beomgyu realized, was completely different from undressing or wearing revealing clothing on camera. At work, his body was a form of art. He only had to show the parts of him that he was comfortable with, that made him feel confident and sexy and beautiful. He’d never take overtly risqué photos for work, only tasteful ones that he had complete control over.
But here, he wasn’t art. He wasn’t beautiful, necessarily. He was just Beomgyu, and Beomgyu had never been naked with someone to have sex with them. It was uncharted territory, nothing tasteful about it, and he wasn’t sure he liked it. Even when he’d look in the mirror by himself, all of his awkwardness would be exposed—scars on otherwise unblemished skin, his too-skinny form.
It wasn’t anything that Soobin and Kai hadn’t seen before, mostly in bits and pieces, or long ago in the shower. In this context, though, it was uncomfortably vulnerable.
Kai stopped at his shirt, and Beomgyu seized his opportunity, turning around and reaching for Kai instead. “You, too. Take it off.”
Kai obeyed without question, stripping straight down to his underwear, discarding his clothing on Beomgyu’s floor. “Hyung?” Kai asked, and Soobin nodded, halfway through removing his own shirt. “Wanna let Beomgyu-hyung do the honors?”
Soobin had managed to rid himself of his shirt, but seeing him shirtless was hardly a novelty compared with what awaited Beomgyu. Beomgyu moved to sit in front of Soobin instead, sudden anxiety rising in his chest.
“You’re… you’re sure about this,” Beomgyu said. He shouldn’t have hesitated at all, not when they’d approached him so eagerly, not when they were requesting for him to undress them, not when Soobin was hard for him and ready and wanting. Not after everything they’d already allowed Beomgyu to see. “You’re sure about me.”
“Absolutely. I want this.” Soobin blinked at him. “What’s on your mind, puppy?”
“Um….” Nothing, at the moment, puppy puppy puppy. “What if this doesn’t work, and I’m stuck like this?”
“Then we live with it,” Soobin said. “Just like we have. Maybe it’ll go away in the future on its own. You shouldn’t worry yet.”
“Just enjoy this, hyung,” Kai murmured. He hugged Beomgyu from behind, tracing the line of Beomgyu’s shoulder with his lips. “You shouldn’t worry about it now.”
Don’t want him to suffer anymore… but this is about us. Want him to be happy, want to make him forget….
Beomgyu swallowed. He turned his eyes back to Soobin, who had laid on the bed, looking up at Beomgyu, his eyes full of hunger. How did Beomgyu even have time to worry about the curse when Soobin was looking at him like that? It almost felt wrong to take, too good to be true.
His limbs moved of their own accord. His breath stuck in his throat as he climbed on top of Soobin, kissing him briefly before dropping his hands to his pants. Finally, Soobin thought. We’ve waited long enough.
Beomgyu had seen Soobin’s body just a few days ago, but he didn’t think it was a sight he could ever get tired of. The problem was that—once he’d managed to remove Soobin’s clothing, which was a terrifying enough task—he didn’t know what he was supposed to do next.
Soobin was still watching him intently, expression unreadable. Kai was perched to Beomgyu’s right, whispering some appreciation for Soobin. Beomgyu shot a desperate glance at him.
Thankfully, Kai caught on immediately. “You want to fuck him, don’t you?” he asked, his voice somehow light and melodious and sexy all at once. “Want me to help? I’ll show you how.”
Beomgyu moved back to make room for Kai between Soobin’s legs, taking the opportunity to grab the lube Kai had not-so-stealthily left on Beomgyu’s nightstand the day before. Apparently Soobin was picky about the brand they used.
Kai took the bottle from him. It was a very similar image to last time, except now Kai was the one who kissed Soobin as he eased a finger into him. Soobin likes being kissed while someone fingers him was now a vital piece of information to Beomgyu. He stroked Soobin’s thigh, encouraging him to relax.
Warm hands… ah, that’s good….
“You already prepped,” Kai said, nuzzling Soobin’s face. Beomgyu couldn’t decide whether to watch—Soobin, or Kai’s hand as his finger sank deeper into Soobin, thrusting cautiously, Soobin’s rim giving way to the intrusion…. Actually, Beomgyu didn’t think he could handle thinking about how he would fit there without coming in his pants.
“Just a little. Wanted to make it easier,” Soobin said. His face was serene, but tensed up every so often as Kai’s finger reached more pleasurable spots inside him. “...Didn’t want to wait.”
But I like it when he does this more, anyway… more sensitive…. Maybe Beomgyu will—!
Soobin’s knee jerked under Beomgyu’s hand. “Good,” Kai said. “It’s nice, right, hyung? You’re so easy.”
“...Fuck. Kai….”
He wants me to do it. I should try, Beomgyu thought. I want to try. But it was equally satisfying to watch Kai touch him, and Beomgyu didn’t know which position he’d rather be in. But if Soobin wanted him—
“Another?” Kai asked. Soobin twitched as Kai pressed two fingers into him, the pleasure echoing into Beomgyu’s mind. I’ve been ready, need this more….
Soobin took Kai’s fingers so easily, though his expression tensed with concentration. His breathing was deep but shaky, his eyes shut tight. He’s almost…. “Deeper, Kai-yah,” and Kai obeyed.
“Need more, right?” Kai asked. “Like this?”
Soobin let out a sharp gasp, his whole body jerking. His thoughts begged for more, but he didn’t need to ask for it. Beomgyu couldn’t see everything, but he could tell Kai kept curling his fingers against that same spot, working Soobin into a frenzy.
“Kai-yah, it’s—ah—”
“Sensitive?”
“You—you know it—”
Kai nearly removed his fingers, thrusting back in harsher, faster. Soobin hissed, Does he want me to come like this? Fucker—
Beomgyu nearly moaned at the sight. It was a beautiful form of torture to be watching them like this, to see Soobin melt like putty in Kai’s hands, but he wanted—
“Kai-yah,” Beomgyu said. “Can I try?”
Kai beamed at him. Soobin winced as he removed his fingers, reaching for more lube instead. “I was wondering when you’d ask. Here, he—he’s all for you..”
Kai poured the lube onto Beomgyu’s fingers and moved to sit by Soobin’s side, giving Beomgyu space. Beomgyu traced Soobin’s rim with the tips of his fingers, and Soobin flinched. “Get on with it,” he choked out. Want him inside me, I’m almost….
It had been a long time since Beomgyu had tried this on himself, but he vaguely remembered the motions. At least, he remembered what hurt, and he’d been watching Kai this whole time, trying to memorize what Soobin responded to.
“What if I want to look at you more first?” Beomgyu asked. “I finally get to have you. Can’t I appreciate it?”
“I’m gonna regret asking Kai to date you,” Soobin moaned. “You’re so much worse than him, I’m just trying to help y—”
Beomgyu thrust his fingers into Soobin, and Soobin let out a yelp. All the fight left him immediately, all the witty responses brewing in the back of his mind dissolving into Beomgyu it’s Beomgyu I can’t believe he’s touching me he’s gonna make me feel so good—
“Like that, right, hyung?” Kai asked sweetly. He reached for one of Soobin’s hands, capturing his lips in a kiss that Soobin complained was too short. “He’s going to treat you so well….”
It wasn’t totally different from touching himself, but the knowledge that he was inside Soobin was enough to make Beomgyu’s head spin. It was a challenge to focus on moving his fingers the right way with so many distractions.
“How does it feel?” Kai prompted.
“Soft,” Beomgyu blurted, and Kai laughed.
“Isn’t he perfect?” Kai said with a sigh. “He feels so good, Beomgyu-hyung. He’s going to feel so good when you fuck him.”
Beomgyu thought his heart was about to beat out of his chest. He was still trying to get a feel for it, mapping out Soobin’s body, the way he felt inside. He angled his fingers up, searching. Soobin’s thoughts were more concentrated on that than the conversation, though, a constant reminder of his task. “He does?”
“You’ll love it,” Kai said. “And he loves it. He’s a good top, too, but I think he was made for this. Weren’t you, Soobin-hyung?”
“You know I— Beomgyu—”
Kai made a noise of understanding. “Beomgyu-hyung, try—”
Beomgyu didn’t need Kai’s instruction. It wasn’t hard to tell when he’d reached Soobin’s prostate—Soobin reacted the same way he had for Kai, his moans pitching into pained whimpers, a jolt of sensitivity reaching Beomgyu’s mind.
“Just like that,” Kai breathed. “It’ll make him all relaxed—”
“Fu-Fuck,” Soobin gasped. “You’re….”
Trying to torture me or something, the two of you, not going to last…. Would it be embarrassing if I came before Beomgyu?
“Hey,” Beomgyu said, frowning, but he doubted Soobin even knew what he’d thought. He clenched up around Beomgyu’s fingers as Beomgyu stroked them against his prostate again.
“Almost there, right?” Kai asked. He gave Beomgyu’s shoulder a comforting rub. Shouldn’t take much now… he was almost ready earlier, but I’m sure he’d beg for it either way….
“I’m ready,” Soobin said. “I can take it.”
“Give him another,” Kai said, and Beomgyu adjusted his hand, pulling his fingers out to make room for a third. “Just to be sure. He might not even need it.”
Beomgyu felt more resistance this time, thrusting into Soobin with three fingers, but Soobin didn’t seem to be in pain at all. He let out a low moan, slumping against Beomgyu’s pillows. Ah, it’s too much… too much too much, don’t stop I need—
Kai kissed his forehead, brushing his hair away from his face. It was slightly damp with sweat. Beomgyu couldn’t believe he’d done that. “Does it feel good? He’s making you feel good, right? Our Beomgyu.”
“Yes,” Soobin moaned. “I’m almost—”
Beomgyu found his prostate again, and Soobin let out a cry. Kai reached for one of his hands, and he latched onto it. “Breathe, hyung. Isn’t our Beomgyu the prettiest?”
Soobin’s eyes met Beomgyu’s, and Beomgyu shuddered. With his free hand, Kai gave Soobin’s cock a few light strokes, and Soobin thrust up into it. His mind was nearly empty, overwhelmed by pleasure.
He gasped suddenly. “I’m ready. Beomgyu-yah, I want you to fuck me now. Please.”
Beomgyu couldn’t stop himself from smiling. He carefully removed his fingers from Soobin, wiping them dry on the sheets, strangely fascinated by the sight of Soobin’s rim fluttering around nothing.
“Hyung, do you want a condom?” Kai asked. He gave Beomgyu a resigned sort of look. “You wouldn’t believe how much he complained last time. I even helped him get all the come out.”
“You complain even more,” Soobin said, teasing. “Let’s use them today. I don’t want to have to worry about that later.”
“Cleanup’s easier this way, but we don’t always do it,” Kai explained to Beomgyu. “Soobin-hyung gets to decide how much of a mess he wants to deal with. Here, I left….”
He opened Beomgyu’s top drawer to reveal a modest pile of condoms. Beomgyu wasn’t sure how the condoms had managed to make it inside without the lube, but this didn’t feel like the time to question it.
“It’s always messy,” Soobin grumbled.
“Worth it, though, right?”
“You just like looking, after. You like seeing what you’ve done.”
Kai tore the foil on the condom. “Can’t really deny that. Beomgyu-hyung, can I?”
Beomgyu agreed, and Kai finished undressing him, his eyes raking over his body. He rolled the condom onto Beomgyu, leisurely stroking his cock. “How do you want him? He’s not picky.”
“Um.” Beomgyu hadn’t thought that far ahead. He had no idea what he wanted. “Like this.”
“Like this, then,” Kai said. “It’s nice to see his face, isn’t he so handsome? You should see him on his knees, too. Next time. Or maybe he’ll want you on your knees?”
Beomgyu gritted his teeth. “Do you—are you always—”
“The only way to get him to stop is to put a cock in his mouth,” Soobin said, as though that weren’t even worse than what Kai had been saying.
Beomgyu crawled on top of Soobin, supporting his weight on his forearms. He bent down to kiss Soobin, and one of Soobin’s hands rose to cradle his face.
He’s finally going to fuck me, I can’t believe he’s going to fuck me. He’s so hot, I need him so much….
“You’re beautiful,” Soobin said, stroking Beomgyu’s cheek with his thumb.
Soobin was the beautiful one, the most beautiful person Beomgyu thought he’d ever seen. his face was flushed, his blush spreading down to his chest. Every inch of him was captivating, all for Beomgyu, and Beomgyu had no idea what to do with all of these feelings. He needed to treasure Soobin, to make him feel good, to show him how much this mattered….
Beomgyu choked back all of those sentimental words. Instead, he asked, “Not hot? Sexy?”
“Cute,” Soobin answered, at the same time Kai said, “And sexy.”
Kai laughed softly. He covered Beomgyu’s hand with one of his own. Pretty hyung, should’ve been sharing all along.
Soobin’s eyebrows furrowed. He’s sexy. He’s so sexy, it’s not fair.
Beomgyu smiled.
“What is it?” Soobin asked.
Beomgyu shook his head. He grasped at one of Soobin’s hands, knitting their fingers together, wanting to ground himself. “Do you like it this way?”
“I really like it any way, as long as you stop making me wait,” Soobin said. He was obviously trying to tease Beomgyu, but instead it came out too high-pitched and airy, desperate.
Beomgyu couldn’t argue with that. He aligned himself with Soobin and carefully thrust into him, just an inch, letting Soobin adjust, but wholly overwhelmed by the sensation himself. So much different from his mouth or his hand, but pleasurable in an equally intense way. Warm pressure around his cock, absolutely perfect.
Soobin’s hand tightened around Beomgyu’s. Fucking finally, oh, he’s going to fuck me…. So much more than his fingers…. He let out a trembling sigh, hooking one leg around Beomgyu’s hips, urging him forward. “More, Beomgyu-yah.”
Beomgyu gave his hips a tentative thrust, pressing deeper into it. Ow, Soobin thought, quickly replaced by, That’s not so bad, I want to feel all of him.
“Fuck,” Beomgyu choked. “You’re….”
“He takes it so well, doesn’t he?” Kai purred. “Keep going, hyung. You don’t have to be gentle with him.”
No… no, I don’t want him to be.
One of Soobin’s hands rested on Beomgyu’s neck. He must have been able to feel how hard Beomgyu’s heart was pounding. This was one of the most blissful sensations Beomgyu had ever felt, so pure and all-encompassing, his entire body alight with it. He kept pushing into Soobin like that, slow, measured thrusts, until he bottomed out.
The only thing that stopped Beomgyu from coming immediately was the sudden onset of nerves, the desire to last long enough to make Soobin feel good, the pressure to give him what he deserved. He moaned weakly, his hips twitching involuntarily against Soobin’s, but he forced himseof to stay as still as possible until Soobin pushed back against him.
“Move,” Soobin demanded. He wrapped his arm around Beomgyu instead, his other hand still entwined with Beomgyu’s. “It doesn’t hurt. I want more.” So good, it’s so much, feels so big inside me, please please please.
“How does it feel?” Kai asked. He sounded just as tortured as Beomgyu had sounded on the night he’d watched the two of them together.
“Full,” Soobin mumbled. “So full.”
Kai traced a hand down Beomgyu’s spine. The sensation combined with the intrusion of his thoughts was like an electric shock. So fucking gorgeous, so beautiful together, even better than I imagined.
Mercifully, Kai lifted his hand, petting Soobin’s head instead. Still close enough for him to touch Beomgyu occasionally, but not an overwhelming flow of information. Soobin’s eyes fluttered shut.
Beomgyu took a few deep, shuddering breaths, trying to concentrate on the motion of his thrusts rather than any one feeling as he resumed. He closed his eyes, unable to bear looking at Soobin’s face, and immediately realized that was a mistake—every sensation was heightened in intensity. He let his eyes catch on Soobin’s neck instead, the lines of his collarbones, the sheen of sweat on his skin.
Soobin would moan whenever Beomgyu’s cock grazed a particularly sensitive spot, gripping onto Beomgyu’s hand so tightly it was almost painful. He would thrust his hips back against Beomgyu, forcing him deeper. There was no pain in his mind, only the broken phrases, an echo of Beomgyu’s own pleasure.
“You’re so quiet, Beomgyu-hyung,” Kai murmured. “It’s okay. You can make noise.”
Beomgyu hadn’t realized he was stifling his voice. He let himself gasp against Soobin’s mouth, relishing in the sweet sound of Soobin’s own moans. He was too uncoordinated to kiss Soobin properly, but Soobin didn’t seem to mind. His thoughts were becoming more frantic and fragmented.
“Beomgyu-yah,” Soobin groaned. “I’m—I need more.” Please harder I can take it faster I need—
Beomgyu listened, adjusting his position for more leverage, increasnig the pace of his thrusts to a near-brutal one. Soobin made a noise like he’d been wounded. “Like that, just like that.”
This was too much. Beomgyu could hardly think, completely focused on the way Soobin felt around him, the way his face scrunched up whenever Beomgyu hit his prostate, his pretty noises and desperate thoughts. The friction was even more intense now, a warmth that spread through his whole body.
Truthfully, Beomgyu was surprised he’d lasted even this long. He could feel himself rapidly approaching his orgasm, barely able to maintain an even rhythm but desperately holding on for Soobin. He could tell Soobin was almost there, too. He was so tight and warm around Beomgyu, absolutely heavenly, and Beomgyu had been fighting a losing battle from the start.
“Are you close?” Kai asked. He’d picked up on it right away, of course. Beomgyu could only whimper, his mind clouded, his body full of a warm glow.
He’s going to come? Soobin thought distantly. …I want to feel it, I want to get him there. He’s mine, I’ve done this to him—
Beomgyu’s hips stuttered against Soobin’s as he came. It was easily one of the best orgasms he’d had in his life, the kind of pleasure he felt all the way to his core. He nearly collapsed onto Soobin’s chest, his body giving out.
Another second, and the world came flooding back. Beomgyu was panting, his heart fluttering around in his chest like a bird trying to escape from its cage. He began to pull out, his face hot, glancing up at Soobin just in time to see his wince. Sore…. Gonna be sore….
“Sorry. Hyung, I’m—I’m sorry,” Beomgyu said. Had he done well? He had no idea. He hadn’t made Soobin come—he hadn’t gotten nearly that far, but Soobin had seemed to enjoy it. Beomgyu was shaking all over, his limbs weak, but Kai pulled him against his chest.
“You did well,” Kai said. He gave Beomgyu a kiss, slow and gentle. “Perfect for hyung.”
“Was… was I?” Beomgyu whispered. Perfect?
Kai hummed. He gingerly removed the full condom from Beomgyu, tying it off and leaning over to drop it in the small wastebasket beside Beomgyu’s nightstand. “I’ll show you how we can take care of him now.”
Not fair, I definitely didn’t last that long when I fucked Soobin the first time.
Beomgyu blinked. “Oh, you—”
Kai patted the top of Beomgyu’s head, stroking his hair, then moved back to Soobin. Soobin was sitting up slightly, his expression somewhat pained. His cock leaking onto his stomach, but he hadn’t complained yet.
He looked… ruined. Totally ruined, beautifully fucked out. Beomgyu had done that to him, with Kai’s assistance. His hair was ruffled, there were faint red marks down his neck and chest, the rise and fall of his chest was rapid, unsteady. What wouldn’t Beomgyu give to him?
“Beomgyu,” Kai directed. “Fingers.”
Soobin melted all over again as Beomgyu returned to his place between his legs. Please please I’m so close, need him inside, need—
Beomgyu pressed two fingers back into Soobin, touching him the way Soobin had responded well to earlier. Soobin let out a shaky breath, clenching down on the intrusion. He seemed to like it best when something was inside him.
Kai’s hands traced the length of Soobin’s body, and Soobin shivered almost as violently as he had when Kai had touched his cock earlier. Kai pressed light kisses to his skin, and it took Beomgyu far longer than it should have to realize what he was going to do—he’d completely underestimated Kai.
Kai took Soobin’s cock into his mouth, and Soobin gasped sharply, his mouth falling open, one hand flying up to secure Kai there. Kai made a choked noise, but sank down further, the motion practiced. Oh, it’s so—fuck, I’m going to come, feels so good I can’t….
Working with Kai was easy. Soobin was so close, and Beomgyu knew exactly what to do now, had figured out exactly where and how he needed to press to make Soobin come apart. Kai didn’t hesitate at all, stroking Soobin firmly with one hand as he licked over him. Soobin was reduced to whimpers, his grip on Kai’s hair seemingly painful, but that did little to deter Kai.
It didn’t take much to push Soobin to the brink again, and even less to tip him over. He nearly wailed, painful sensitivity spilling into Beomgyu’s mind. “Kai-yah, I’m— fuck!” Close close closecloseclose—
He came down Kai’s throat, his voice suddenly gone. Kai swallowed around him ,carefully lifting off once he was spent, and Soobin’s mind filled with a pleasant glow. Beomgyu kept up the steady drag of his fingers until Soobin tensed up, Too much, too much, hurts.
Beomgyu quickly removed his hand. He made eye contact with Kai, who swiped his tongue over his lips—a sight that made Beomgyu’s brain short circuit. They reached for Soobin at the same time, each of them lying on either side of him. Beomgyu threw his arms around Soobin’s waist, pressing them as close together as possible. He didn’t know why, but he needed the closeness.
“Oh my god,” he whispered. “You’re… it was so….”
“Did you like it?” Kai asked. One of his hands found Beomgyu’s side. Was it everything you hoped for? Dreamed of?
Beomgyu could only nod. He didn’t trust himself to speak, but he was still trembling with exertion, adrenaline racing through him.
“Congratulations,” Soobin mumbled. “You’re not a virgin anymore.”
Beomgyu wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry. “It was okay? Do you feel good?”
This is all I wanted. I’m so happy. Soobin leaned over to give Beomgyu a gentle kiss. “You did good. I loved it.”
“Perfect, Beomgyu-hyung,” Kai said, his voice thin.
His whole body was tense, like a wire about to snap. Beomgyu hadn’t forgotten about him, and neither had Soobin.
“What should we do to you?” Soobin asked. “Hyuka. How do you want us to touch you?’
Beomgyu had an idea—an ambitious idea, possibly too ambitious. He knew what he wanted to give to Kai. He’d been thinking about it for so long, and it felt right. He couldn’t remember the last time he was so comfortable and warm and safe. Being with Soobin had been incredible. Wouldn’t Kai treat him just as well?
“What does it feel like the other way around?” Beomgyu asked, interrupting Soobin and Kai’s new debate about the merits of blowjobs.
They abruptly fell silent. Soobin coughed. “Like—you want—”
Beomgyu ducked his head, hiding behind Soobin’s shoulder. “I mean—of course I do eventually, but I kind of…. We have a whole day. I kind of want to try it now. With Kai.”
Kai’s eyes were enormous. “You really do? Today? I didn’t think you were serious.”
“If you want to,” Beomgyu said, slightly flustered. “I’ll need a few minutes, but I can… I think I can go again. And Kai….”
He barely had time to jerk off on a regular basis. He certainly hadn’t done any recent experimentation with multiple orgasms, nothing that could push his boundaries, but he didn’t think he’d have a problem with it today. He was tired, but not tired enough to forget how incredible it was to be with Soobin so soon. Was there something wrong with him if he immediately wanted to try again?
“It’s probably better to wait. I don’t want to break you,” Kai said, unabashed fondness creeping into his voice.
“Don’t think he’d mind if you broke him,” Soobin tittered. “Not after he watched you with me.”
Beomgyu reached for one of Kai’s hands. I’d love to fuck him today… God, now that he’s said it… but won’t he be too sensitive? I don’t want to hurt him, that would be an awful first time….
Beomgyu could still hear his thoughts. He didn’t know what that meant, though it felt silly to think that his power would disappear as soon as they’d finished having sex. In a way, they hadn’t finished. Beomgyu’s head was still fuzzy, his limbs closer to a liquid state than a solid. They hadn’t started cleaning up, and most importantly, Kai hadn’t come.
Kai had also mentioned this to Beomgyu when they’d first started negotiating sex—how nobody needed to come, they should just enjoy their time together. But Beomgyu hadn’t even tried to touch him tonight. Ever since the handjobs, he’d been itching to do it again, daydreaming about it more frequently than what was probably considered healthy.
If Beomgyu could still hear Kai—assuming that his power would fade by the next morning—they had a very, very limited amount of time. Beomgyu was shockingly tired, more so than he’d expected he would be, but he couldn’t let this opportunity slip by. For better or for worse, he’d probably spend the rest of his life thinking about it if he didn’t take it.
“I want you to,” he said, squeezing Kai’s hand. “I can still hear you. I want to do this while I can, since it’s our only chance. If… if you want to try that, too.”
“You can still….” Kai glanced at their hands. It didn’t work? “Do you think you need to fuck both of us for it to go away? Or it just hasn’t worn off yet…?”
“I don’t know,” Beomgyu said. Jungkook hadn’t mentioned a second boyfriend. If the curse was really about virginity, what he’d done with Soobin definitely counted. “But I don’t really care, either. That’s not why I want you, but I want to feel you the same way I did him.”
That’s so hot. I can’t take it. He hates listening. But he wants to listen to me now?
Kai closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “I want that too. But if it’s too overwhelming, you’ll tell us?”
“Right away,” Beomgyu said, sudden desperation shooting through him. He knew that Kai needed him, just as badly as he needed Kai, and he wanted nothing more than to give Kai that pleasure.
Off to the side, Soobin whimpered. “I can’t believe you. You’re going to kill me.”
“I hope it’s a happy way to die, then,” Kai said cheerfully.
As expected, the process of prepping Beomgyu was slightly more complicated than Soobin. Beomgyu switched places with Soobin, Kai cushioning him with a mound of pillows. Beomgyu’s heart jumped to his throat as Kai reached for the lube again, gently parting his legs.
He felt even more vulnerable, having Kai look at him like this, even though Kai touched him so gently. “Just try to relax, hyung,” Kai said. His fingers were cold as they brushed over Beomgyu’s rim. “It might hurt, but it should stop hurting, after a bit. But if it’s ever too much—”
“I know. It’ll be fine,” Beomgyu said. Somehow it made him feel lighter, knowing that Kai was more nervous than him.
He’s so brave, so… we’re lucky. Want it to be good for him, Kai thought. Even if it’s uncomfortable… but he says he wants this. I trust him. I’ll make sure it’s comfortable. And if he doesn’t like it, we’ll just….
“Kai-yah,” Beomgyu interrupted. Kai winced, as though he’d predicted that Beomgyu ould follow his thoughts. “Don’t overthink. I trust you.”
Kai exhaled shakily. Then, he’s ready?
“If you don’t touch me now, I’ll have Soobin do it instead,” Beomgyu said, and that got Kai moving, pressing the tip of one finger into Beomgyu.
It wasn’t a sensation Beomgyu was used to at all, but it wasn’t painful. A little strange and uncomfortable, a surprising fullness even though it was just one finger. He could feel Kai’s eyes on him, but didn’t look up—instead, he focused on the intrusion of his finger, willing himself to relax around it.
It didn’t help that his body was still so sensitive from his last orgasm. The minutes that had passed in-between, talking to each other and kissing without doing more hadn’t exactly been enough for him to recover. He wasn’t even hard, really, but the thought of what Kai was going to do to him caused heat to simmer deep within him. As long as it didn’t really hurt, he was determined.
Doesn’t seem like it hurts, Kai was thinking. Don’t want to rush him, I’m so used to Soobin….
He was so careful that Beomgyu couldn’t imagine a universe where he could have hurt Beomgyu. He thrust his finger slowly, feeling inside Beomgyu, curling it to see how Beomgyu responded. It didn’t feel particularly good, either, but it didn’t take Beomgyu long to warm up to it.
“I’m going to try another. You feel ready,” Kai said eventually. He’s doing so good, our Beomgyu. “Do you think you’re ready?”
The idea of two fingers was slightly intimidating, although Beomgyu had readily gotten used to just one. The unpleasantness had faded, his body accommodating Kai’s fingers, slowly recognizing that it was something that was supposed to feel good. Beomgyu thought he was starting to understand what Kai meant about the friction.
“Try it,” Beomgyu said. He’d expected some pain. He could handle it.
“Can I help?” Soobin asked. He sounded so eager, like he was a puppy Kai had offered a walk. Beomgyu had nearly forgotten he was there, singularly focused on the way Kai was touching him.
Kai laughed. “Sure. It’s only fair, if I get to fuck him.”
Beomgyu’s heart flipped. “Ohh. You’re… you’re….”
Soobin added lube to his fingers, taking Kai’s place. With his dry hand, he stroked Beomgyu’s thigh soothingly. “We’ll give you whatever you want, Gyu-yah.” Can’t believe he’s letting us….
Soobin pressed two fingers in together, somehow even slower than Kai had. Beomgyu squeezed his eyes shut, trying to calm his erratic breathing. It was more intense, but Soobin stalled, allowing Beomgyu to adjust, letting the twinges of pain fade before thrusting his fingers deeper.
Soobin’s hands were even bigger than Kai’s, decidedly less delicate, but the way he touched Beomgyu was so cautious and intentional. His fingers worked up a steady rhythm, and Beomgyu was totally weak for it.
Beomgyu’s earlier sensitivity had returned tenfold. This felt better, Soobin’s fingers pressing up like he knew Beomgyu’s body as intimately as his own. Beomgyu whined, slapping a hand over his mouth.
I have to find…. It’ll be better if…. “Like that?” Soobin asked, irritatingly triumphant. “Is this good?”
Beomgyu nodded weakly. “Feels…. Yeah, it feels good, I’m….”
Then Soobin did something with his fingers that made his entire body jolt, sudden and intense sensation enveloping him. “Oh, fuck—,” he hissed. “You’re—”
“There, right?” Soobin asked, repeating the motion. Beomgyu moaned brokenly.
Easily one of the best things he’d ever felt and yet nothing like what they’d tried before Beomgyu didn’t care what Soobin did as long as it involved more of that. “Fuck, fuck, that’s….”
“You get why I like bottoming, right?” Soobin said. “It gets even better.”
“Don’t get ahead of yourself,” Kai said, but his voice was ruined, as though he were the one in Beomgyu’s position instead. Beomgyu didn’t think he could bear looking at him.
I could definitely come from this, Beomgyu thought. Not today, not after he’d come already, although his body had finally given up on protesting. It was something to look forward to next time. This was addicting, the pleasure he’d had no idea Soobin could give him, in combination with the sweetest vulnerability he’d ever felt.
Three fingers were less scary now that Beomgyu knew how good it could feel. It was somehow strangely satisfying to feel his body open up like this. He hadn’t realized he was making noise until Soobin’s thoughts commented on it, I can’t believe I’m doing this to him, sounds so pretty.
Beomgyu was totally gone by the time Kai reached for his cock, unable to decide whether to thrust back against Soobin’s fingers or into Kai’s hand. “Stop, stop. I’m ready,” he gasped.
“You’re sure?” Kai asked, lifting his hand. “You want me now?”
“Yes,” Beomgyu said. His chest was heaving. He propped himself up on his elbows, too shaky to sit up properly. “Now. I want it.”
Soobin pulled his fingers out of Beomgyu. It felt strange to be empty after how long Soobin had been touching him. He wasn’t sure how much time had passed. Everything blurred together around him. Only this pure cloud of good seemed to matter. But he knew with absolute certainty that he wanted Kai, that he was ready, that his body could take it.
They ended up with Soobin behind Beomgyu, holding him, and Kai in front of him. Kai finished stripping, finally, and Beomgyu swallowed as his eyes landed on his cock. Kai’s hands shook as he tore the wrapper on a new condom. Then, he finally looked up at Beomgyu.
“I love you,” Kai said. “You’re so special to me. I want to make you happy.”
Soobin hooked his chin over Beomgyu’s shoulder, holding him close. Love you, love him…. I’m so lucky.
Beomgyu was so overwhelmed, he didn’t know what to do with himself, didn’t know what to focus on. He wrapped his arms around Kai, urging him closer, his breath catching in his chest. He’d never felt love like this before, and he didn’t know how to put it into words.
“I am happy,” he said. “You make me so happy.”
Kai kissed him. That’s all I need.
It didn’t hurt like Beomgyu had expected it might, but the fullness was far more intense than just Kai’s fingers. It was overwhelming for Kai, too, his thoughts lighting up with a frantic Feels incredible I need him so much, I swear I’m gonna come before I even get all the way in him…. Is he okay?
Kai let out a low, drawn-out whine. “You alright, Kai-yah?” Soobin teased.
“He feels so good.” Kai kissed Beomgyu again, like he couldn’t help himself, and Beomgyu whimpered into it. “Hyung, do you—is it—”
“Keep going,” Beomgyu said. He had to force the words out, so overcome by the multitude of sensations all at once. Soobin’s hands on his shoulders, massaging him gently, the tiny motions of Kai’s hips as he edged further into Beomgyu. He already felt so worn, unable to stop shaking.
Time didn’t exist in this moment, only the way it felt to be between them. Kai’s thrusts were almost torturously slow, but Beomgyu was still unprepared for the stretch. Kai’s lips kept finding his, kissing him messily. He groaned praise muffled against Beomgyu’s shoulder as he bottomed out, and Beomgyu clung to him, panting.
“Hyung.” Kai pulled out of Beomgyu and pressed in again, punching a moan from him. “You have no idea, how—how you feel, so perfect for me.”
Beomgyu did have an idea. He could feel it, the traces of Kai’s emotion disappearing like smoke before he could fully grasp them. Fuck, he feel so good, I can’t I can’t I need—
Kai’s chest was heaving. His moans were desperate, so pretty, and it was driving Beomgyu into a complete frenzy. “Hyung, I want—can I—?”
“More” Beomgyu suggested, and Kai nodded. “Please. It doesn’t hurt. I want it.”
It hurt a tiny bit, but Beomgyu couldn’t care less. That pain was being overtaken by the warm glow that washed over him as the slide became easier. Kai picked up his pace, rocking his hips into Beomgyu faster, then harder, taking what he needed. Beomgyu’s cock throbbed against his stomach, desperate for attention, but the feeling inside him was incredible. Kai had managed to find his prostate, hitting it over and over when Beomgyu begged for more.
“Beomgyu,” Soobin said, awed. “You’re so good, do you like this? Need more?”
Beomgyu couldn’t answer, too overcome to speak. Kai’s thrusts had become more heavy, erratic. “So beautiful, love,” Soobin continued. “All for us.” He kissed the side of Beomgyu’s neck, the touch sending sparts ricocheting down Beomgyu’s spine.
“Hyung, I’m gonna—I’m so close,” Kai said, his voice nearly a sob. Beomgyu Beomgyu Beomgyu—
Beomgyu wanted to feel it, needed to feel it. Kai’s thrusts became deeper, his desperation clear in Beomgyu’s mind until finally, finally, he came, Beomgyu’s name on his lips, fucking Beomgyu through.
Beomgyu had been sure he wouldn’t come again, but all it took was the addition of Soobin’s hand around him, his grip relentless and firm. Beomgyu let out a weak cry, his body convulsing as he came, Soobin murmuring sweet nothings beside his ear.
That moment seemed to stretch on forever. Beomgyu flopped against Soobin as Kai pulled out, both of them panting hard. He could feel his own come, wet against his stomach. Every part of him was painfully sensitive.
Soobin slid out from under him, but kissed the top of his head, reaching for one of his hands. “You’re so incredible, you know that?” he said. “How do you feel?”
“Tired,” Beomgyu said bluntly, and Soobin laughed. He could probably close his eyes and roll over to sleep right now, without even cleaning up, even though he was terrified to check the state of the sheets. “Sore.”
“I’m sorry,” Kai said, although he didn’t sound very sorry at all. He gave Beomgyu a gentle smile, lying down on his side opposite of Soobin, just like they had earlier. He kissed Beomgyu’s forehead, then his nose, then his lips. “Nothing hurts too much?”
Beomgyu shook his head. “It was perfect. Exactly how I wanted it.”
They had been so kind to him, bearing their hearts to him in a way that Beomgyu would treasure for the rest of his life. They loved him in a way he’d been so sure he could never have.
“I love you,” Beomgyu said. “Both of you, so much.”
A few weeks ago, this had been unthinkable, an absolutely unattainable dream. This was the silver lining in two of the most challenging months of Beomgyu’s life, the joy worth every second of pain. He didn’t know what would happen in the future, but he’d never been more sure of what he wanted, what path he should be on.
I know. I love you, Kai thought, and the sentiment echoed in Soobin’s mind.
“Beomgyu-yah, you’ll never guess what I found.”
Beomgyu lifted his head from the window to look at Soobin, who was sitting in the seat adjacent to him. Soobin would often share his entertainment with Beomgyu whenever they were trapped in a car for a long time as they traveled, but there was something unusual about Soobin’s tone, a strange mix of enthusiasm and urgency.
Beomgyu leaned over to see Soobin’s phone screen and immediately cringed. It was an interview shortly after their debut. Yeonjun’s cheeks were so… round. Soobin’s shoulders were narrower, his body the awkward, gangly form of a teenager. Taehyun and Kai both looked like babies, their faces softer and eyes extra bright. Beomgyu’s own hair was bleached nearly white, his smile awkward.
“What is this?” Beomgyu asked, pinning his eyes on the younger Soobin instead of himself. “You were… cute.”
“Why do you say it like that?” Soobin asked, amused. “Watch this.”
He set the timestamp to 2:15. “If you could have any superpower, what power would it be?” Yeonjun read off a slip of paper, in English. The words were transcribed at the bottom of the screen.
Kai and Yeonjun instantly listed teleportation. The younger Beomgyu dragged a large brown-and-white puppy into his lap, cradling it in his arms. “I think I want a mind-reading power,” he said.
“Oh! Me too, mind-reading,” Soobin said, turning to Beomgyu. The two gestured at each other while Yeonjun cooed at the puppy in Beomgyu’s lap.
“Isn’t that crazy?” current Soobin said, pausing the video. “It’s almost like you cursed yourself back then.”
Beomgyu stared at the screen in disbelief, his heart plummeting, an icy chill overtaking his body. It was the absolute last thing he would have expected Soobin to show him.
He hardly remembered that interview, it was so long ago. He could vaguely recall how stressful it had been to begin international promotions. And the puppies, of course. It had been his dream interview after debut. Who didn’t want to play with puppies at work? But he hadn’t remembered the superpower comment at all. I want a mind-reading power.
He’d certainly gotten what he wished for, although he couldn’t remember why he’d wished for it in the first place. Maybe he’d understand what people expected of him. Or to locate threats. Or maybe he’d simply wanted to torment his friends with what he learned. Baby Beomgyu definitely hadn’t considered the anxiety that would come with it—although baby Beomgyu had also been a much less anxious person than adult Beomgyu.
“Why did I want that? Why did you want that?” Beomgyu asked. “God, we were weird kids.”
“It probably would’ve been more fun if it were a real superpower. Like, if you could control it,” Soobin said. “But I think that’s also the point of having a superpower, isn’t it? You have to figure out how to live with it even though you’re not a normal human.”
“Sounds awful,” Beomgyu said. No more superpowers for me, thank you.
“Ningning-ah, look at this,” Soobin crooned, reaching across Beomgyu to gently nudge a dozing Kai. He rewinded the video as Kai awoke, rubbing at his eyes.
Kai’s mouth fell open as he watched the video. “This is from….”
“Yep,” Soobin said. “Can you believe it?”
“Scary,” Kai said. He shook his head. “That’s so scary. Wait, what did I say?”
“Teleportation. I think you’re safe, but imagine if you teleported whenever you….” Soobin waved a hand. Their manager probably wasn’t paying much attention to their conversation, but better safe than sorry. Taehyun and Yeonjun, who were practically sleeping in each other’s arms in the back seat, would probably be interested in the video, though.
“Imagine if the solution was the same? You’d be stuck like that forever,” Kai said. He rested his chin on Beomgyu’s shoulder, snuggling up to him just like the puppies in the video had.
Beomgyu stroked Kai’s har, pushing it out of his eyes. Blissful silence, no thoughts in his head other than his own.
A few months ago, that simple gesture would have made Beomgyu so nervous. Even though he’d only had the curse for two months, it had taken much longer for him to living without it again, after he’d trained himself to be so intentional about every touch.
He didn’t have to worry about touch anymore. He didn’t have to think at all, not when he hugged his members or his friends or his boyfriends or anyone else. Waking up without the curse was the greatest relief he had ever felt. His relationship with Soobin and Kai had improved, too, with the return of Beomgyu’s confidence. A part of Beomgyu still wondered what they were thinking at times, but he much preferred communicating with them aloud.
“Where did you even find this?” Beomgyu asked as Soobin paused the video.
“I’d forgotten about it, too—I wasn’t looking for it, but it showed up in my feed. And I wasn’t going to watch it, but I was bored, so….” Soobin shrugged. “Weird coincidence.”
“Must’ve been fate,” Kai said.
“I think I’m all done with fate,” Beomgyu declared. He’d had more than enough of his fill.
But as Kai nuzzled deeper into his neck, his heart warmed. Despite everything, he couldn’t complain too much. After all, it had given him this— two boyfriends, and a deeper level of trust in them than Beomgyu hadn’t felt in anyone before. It would be a strange period in his life to reflect on, but it had left him with something far more lasting and valuable than those two months of pain.
Maybe this younger version of Beomgyu had the right idea after all. At the very least, the rest of Beomgyu’s twenty-third year was shaping up to be a far better one than he could have imagined on that first day.