Work Text:
In a slightly different world, the Straw Hats didn't submerge right after leaving Sabaody. As they sailed towards Fish-man Island, a crew of bounty hunters sighted their ship and, assuming that a crew who'd been missing for two years would be out of practice, attacked. Of course, Luffy, Sanji and Zoro unleashed an unholy terror upon them they'd never forget.
But this isn't about them.
In the thick of battle, a bounty hunter sees an opening through the chaos. Cat Burglar Nami, her back turned towards him. No hesitation. He draws, aims, and fires. It's an unpleasant surprise when Nami turns at the sound of the gunshot and then ducks, the bullet whizzing harmlessly over her head. It's an even less pleasant surprise when Sanji's boot hits the back of his skull, accompanied by an unprintable barrage of curses he's too unconscious to hear.
Across the chaos, Usopp is momentarily boxed off from the rest of the crew. Another bounty hunter advances on him, sword drawn. As he raises it, Usopp can only hold his arms over his head, helpless as the sword swings down.
It snaps in half, leaving a superficial cut on one of his forearms. In panic, Usopp lashes out with a wild kick. The bounty hunter, too stunned to block it, feels a couple ribs break as it connects. He goes over, wheezing, as Usopp runs away screaming for Chopper.
Nami's Clima-tact is knocked from her hands and goes spinning across the deck. A group of bounty hunters step into the way as she runs to intercept it. Zoro sees them moving, crouches to spring, and pauses as Nami wrenches the rifle from one of them and swings it into his side, lifting him off his feet and sending him crashing into his companions. They go down in a tangle of limbs, and Nami leaps deftly over them - clearing a five-foot vertical from a standstill. Zoro blinks, nods once, and throws himself back into the fray.
Before Usopp can reach Chopper, an roar hits his ears. He jumps to the left, and a axehead lodges itself in the ground next to him. He looks up and sees the bounty hunter wrenching her weapon free before swinging again, a horizontal chop aimed to split him in half at the waist. Usopp shrieks, then jumps and lands with both feet on the axehead. He raises his hands, realizes they're empty, grabs her by the collar, and rams his forehead into her nose. As she staggers backwards, he snatches a Hot Pepper Star from his bag, smears it into her eyes, and with one last jump, kicks off from her face to land next to Chopper -
- and Nami, preoccupied with the storm cloud she's developing above the deck, is blindsided by a bounty hunter who breaks an oar across her back, right before she turns around and breaks his nose -
- and a gunshot rings out, sending Usopp toppling back, only for him to spit the bullet out without so much as a chipped tooth -
- and Nami, dogpiled by bounty hunters, quite literally throws them off and keeps moving -
- and Usopp weaves between a thicket of swords without a scratch -
- and -
- with a spine-chilling krrr-ack, courtesy of Robin, the last bounty hunter drops.
During the clean-up, Usopp goes and finds Nami.
"Hey," he says with some trepidation. "Do you think we're... I don't know... strong, now? I mean... we did pretty good out there. For a couple of weaklings."
Nami turns slowly. "Usopp," she says, eyes wide, "I saw Sanji kick one of them back to their own ship. And when I say ship, I mean half a ship, because Zoro cut it in half!"
"Oh. Oh my god. No, yeah, y-you're right. These people are freaks. Honestly, I'm glad we're still normal."
"Me too."