Chapter Text
From the eyes of the Hero of the Skies:
Bile crept up his throat.
What… is that?
A plume of smoke rose from the biggest castle Sky had ever seen, rising and rising and coalescing into a horrific, dark blight that shrouded the sun and left the fields of what could only be Hyrule shadowed. Then, from the smog, four enormous, beastly legs swirling in a black, tar-like liquid emerged.
A body, rippling liquid muscle, a wild mane of dancing inferno the color of arterial blood spray so bright that it darkened the sky, great black-bone tusks bigger than he could imagine… The gargantuan beast was even bigger than Levias!
How does someone even beat that thing?!
Its eyes weren’t a big enough target for those to be the main weak points. It didn’t have any vulnerable-looking exposed flesh like bulbous toes or soft tentacles. It wasn’t humanoid enough to sword-fight, which was Sky’s go-to, and it was way too big to fathom cutting through any part of it. It didn’t look the type to be bombed either.
So that ruled out a lot of, if not all, options.
But, Sky also knew that a Hero doesn’t give up.
Sky knows that a Hero will fight this thing regardless of any weak points.
Sky just doesn’t know how to help…
Looking up at the massive, hulking form of the Dark Beast Ganon, with none of the epic piano-bashing soundtrack in the background, you had a sudden feeling that this wouldn’t be nearly as easy as it seemed in the game.
And you were right.
Exhibit A: there was no horse.
…
No. Horse.
Maybe you shouldn’t use speedrun strats when TOTK comes around.
Exhibit B: Ganon looked a lot more pissed than it did in the game, more targeted hatred than mindless beast. Its eyes, sick strings of orange pulled into a black, slitted pupil, bore into your minuscule frame and it huffed out a fiery gust of wind, knocking you off your feet and sending you rolling across Hyrule Field.
A guardian woke up, followed by another, by another. Two stalkers and one flying-whatever-it’s-called. Long spindly limbs of metal grappled into the thick grass and dug into the ground as the stalkers advanced, eye beams locked solely on you. The flying one hovered menacingly, that is to say that somehow a literal robot box that was doing nothing was somehow as terrifying and nightmare fuel as the robot spiders.
The castle-sized behemoth took in a deep breath, chin lowering into its chest, and you knew that Ganon was charging up a beam.
You’re screwed. Actually, totally, and completely dead. Fi was steady at your back, though, and your fist was around the Bow of Light.
You didn’t even notice it appearing in your hand, holy power convalescing into a physical manifestation of war for you to shoot tiny little splinters into something so big you can barely fathom it even though it is right in front of you.
Another stalker came, followed by another, and another.
And in the distance, you could hear Vah Medoh scream. And you suddenly had a chilling thought.
What if… what if the Divine Beasts were coming?
You…
NOPE.
You couldn’t afford to let this battle drag on.
NOPE!
Your eyes swept the plains, seeing no horse to mount. No LU Link to call for help. No Deus ex Machina to suddenly come in and save you.
But then…
Idea!
The rapid beeping signaling an oncoming laser had you swiveling around, throwing up your shield arm in front of your body and then pushing forward.
The Sheikah Slate reacted on your intent, a brand new shield manifesting on your arm as you performed a perfect parry, feeling the world slow down, feeling the resistance of an energy beam against your movement, watching as it was sent back straight into the Guardian’s glass eye.
An inferno surrounded you, smoke preventing the other Guardians from getting a lock on you.
The smoke wasn’t enough to blot out the sun in the way that Ganon’s massive hoof did as it raised over you.
Oh shoot.
This is very much NOT cash money.
You do NOT want to get nae nae’d, not like THIS.
You needed to be gone, and you needed to be gone ages ago—
They say that when your death is imminent, your life flashes before your eyes: or, perhaps more accurately, the entirety of your life’s thoughts and memories become a cacophony of everything that bombards your every thought for a moment, minuscule, infinitely small in the face of the end. You don’t remember half of the things you experience. You can’t remember most of it by the time it’s over. But there was something in the middle of all of the noise and the chaos…
It was a thought that had flashed in your head for a moment, so quick that you had barely processed it and so buried beneath everything else that you have no idea how it possibly could have been at the forefront of your mine.
It was nothing more than an image; the scenic view at the top of the world, overlooking the splendor of the Kingdom of Hyrule, seeing a wink of golden light from the highest tower of the blackened castle. It was that moment, so beautiful that it was burned into your memory forever to come.
They say that your memories all come to you because it is your body trying to figure out a way to escape what is certain death. It is a last ditch effort to get you out of your situation, it is the call of the culmination of everything that you are in order to live another day.
And, in the end, it is what saved you.
Ganon’s hoof came down, but you had already burst into stars of light and were dissipated into magic and data, broken down into binary, and far far away you reformed back to yourself at the top of a tower, knowing that you bought yourself just a little bit of time in the grand scheme of things.
Great Plateau Tower
The massive Dark Beast turned, feet shaking the earth with every stamp of them on the ground even from this distance. Its eyes find you, a speck in comparison made even smaller by the sheer expanse between the two of you. Its malice somehow manages to be directed at you, from so far away.
Right.
Your bright idea.
Your master plan.
You dive off of the tower, snapping your paraglider out at the last moment. And then you are cutting down a tree, capturing it in Stasis before it could fall and preparing to launch it at max speed and then shooting an arrow towards your chosen direction.
And then, when you look back at the Dark Beast, you raise your hands and instinctively just know how to raise your middle fingers in the most obnoxious way possible.
For added effect, you stick your tongue out and blow a sloppy raspberry.
And then you remember that you need to climb onto the tree before Stasis runs out.
Right, enact your master plan first, emote on this loser later.
The tree moves.
You’re rocketed so fast that the air stings your skin and whips your hair so hard that it (probably) leaves a pink flush on your face (you big baby). But the plus side is now, you’re a decent way across Hyrule Field and you’re rapidly approaching your chosen destination. You kick off of the tree trunk last moment, watching as the epic collision of wood and earth makes a dirt spray so large it momentarily blots your vision.
And then you remember that, oh shoot, you still are rocketing at the same velocity as the tree pull out your paraglider now please—
You land on your feet, but inertia has you toppling forward the second you touch down anyway.
All of this is to say nothing about the sight you made, a strange sky creature that probably resembles a Hylian under all of the dirt, who appeared at the same time as the ginormous probably-the-Calamity creature in an equally dramatic emergence from the ground and sending rocks and dirt and debris flying. The stablegoers, all hiding under the tent with the watchful sigil of Malanya, watch wide-eyed as you mosey on up to Stablemaster _____ with a limp and ask to rent out a horse pretty please you’ll give it back as soon as you’re done killing the demon-god over there thank you very much have a good one.
Unfortunately, everyone was in too much shock to be helpful let alone receptive to your plight, so you had to switch tactics from “yo this an emergency pls gimme ur horse” to “yo this is a muggery imma take ur horse and you’d better hope I live long enough to bring it bacc”(editor’s note: muggery = mugging + robbery)
(With such chaos incarnate and impeccable manners, is it really much a surprise when the literal god of horses brings you the literal God of horses? Enter: Epona, stage left!)
An auburn coat, long white mane caught between your fingers as your heels dig into the haunches of the horse that (probably) Malanya sent to you.
And with that, you feel the Bow of Light manifesting upon your back, the knowledge that Zelda is watching and waiting as she is stuck in her own unending battle against the Calamity in your mind as you whisper assurances to both yourself and Epona, but mostly yourself.
Epona is incredible, fast and furious, tokyo drifting out of the way of incoming bokoblins on horses of their own on your way back to Dark Beast Ganon. She is beautiful in her art, a whinny and a snort coming as she passes the pathetically slow horses in comparison to her.
She is a girlboss and she absolutely knows it.
Gatekeep the fvck outta them, you beautiful horse you. Gaslight them haters.
Great mandala-type light projections bloom in gold on random points on the Dark Beast’s body as you draw near in record time. You can see cracks in the malice, glowing light trying to escape. Showcasing weak points, where Zelda is forming targets for you to hit to pierce through the miasma of magmatic malice.
(Wow, your alliteration is on point today!)
You feel like you’re going to fall off of Epona if you release her mane from your fingers, like you’re going to flop precariously from her back. But when you do let go to pull the bow off of your back, you don’t fall off and you don’t flip around. Instead, with your core and thighs screaming protests at you, you manage to sit perfectly and draw the bowstring back.
Light coalesces between your fingers, an arrow glowing so bright that you cannot make out its shape without blinding yourself being shot when you release the bowstring. The arrow is sure, it hits true and it causes Ganon’s liquid body to ripple outwards as it sinks in.
The screams are deafening, you think you’ll need a fairy tonic or some god-tier elixir to heal your eardrums and to not be deaf by the time the battle ends.
(If you are victorious.)
(You will be victorious. You must be.)
The bow of light reappears on your back when you let go to grip onto Epona again, firmly digging your heels into her flank in a desperate plea to pleasegofasteroverthereplease.
She heeds your request, she revels in her domain.
Another target, another arrow.
Guardian stalkers are the least of your problems when Epona vaults over their legs like they were mere pebbles to be stomped over and ignored. They can’t lock onto you or her because she expertly weaves behind other Guardians, or between Ganon’s enormous legs, or dashes last second with incredible intuition.
She does all of the work. She shows you that she’s dependable. She knows you have your own job to do, and she is vocal and bossy in making sure you know this, whinnying loudly.
You can take a hint.
Another target, another arrow.
Another target, another arrow.
Another target, and another arrow.
And another target, another arrow.
With Epona, Ganon never really stood a chance.
Oh how the turns tabled.
Get nae nae’d, Gabonzort.
From the eyes of the Wind Waker:
This was insane.
He’s seen horses before. And he’s seen giant monsters before.
Sure, this person is nowhere near the horseback rider that Twilight is, and definitely not the team that he and Epona are.
But it was still super impressive.
(And, if that isn’t Epona, Wind’s going to eat his boot.)
Wind can’t help the whoop he let out when Epona crushes her opposition - a (presumable) bokoblin that she trampled. He laughs when she jumps over a metal tentacle on the beamos octorok(hexarok?). But d@mn, the person is an absolute beast being able to hold onto Epona without their hands.
Wind has tried.
He’d flopped over immediately.
And Epona even had a saddle when he tried! This person doesn’t have one! (Which has gotta hurt. Twilight warned him against bareback riding as a beginner)
Wind knew that he was out of his depth here. This was definitely a new hero, and this was probably this hero’s big boss fight. And those were definitely light arrows. Horses were not really his forte. Giant land animals weren’t either. So he resigned himself to cheering on his new buddy, because there was no way he was leaving this Hyrule without that absolute madlad.