Work Text:
[Click]
“Kaz, its me.”
“You- … You know you’re not supposed to contact me here.”
“I know, but this is important.”
“Important enough to go directly against him? ”
[Silence]
“Come visit, will you?”
“Why should I? I left for a reason. Not to mention I’d have to take some of my vacation days just to make it there and hope no one asks where I’m going. V, I don’t know what you think is still going on between us but I’m not willing to risk that much.”
“It’s about DD.”
“The dog?”
“Yes, he’s getting too old for field missions. Outer Heaven is no place for him to retire.”
“... you want me to take the dog.”
“I hoped you’d take him in.”
“That is why you’re calling me?!”
“Are you going to take him or not?”
[Silence]
“Kaz?”
“I’ll be there in two days.”
[Click]
OUTER HEAVEN - 1992
Kaz could curse him. All this trouble for a damn dog. What a stupid thing to say. Venom was insane and Kaz hated himself for being enough of a fool to actually fall for it. The whole situation worried him. Big Boss hadn’t even looked twice at his vacation request, hadn’t asked where Kaz was going or why he was leaving so suddenly. If he was in on this then Kaz was likely walking right into his own funeral. On the other hand he hadn’t really had much to complain about when it came to Kaz’ work lately and perhaps it was Kaz’ own ego getting to his head but he wanted to say that his work was too valued at FOXHOUND for them to consider simply dropping and replacing him so casually.
Besides, Venom’s call had sounded pretty real and unlike Big Boss, Venom had never been too good at lying to him. Once the truth had come out all those years ago, Kaz had learnt very quickly to tell the difference between the two men. He could say with certainty that the call had come from Venom.
Still, setting foot into Outer Heaven felt like he was walking right into a trap. He had avoided the place once he had stopped working on it himself. After the initial planning stage and some discussions concerning logistics, Kaz had swiftly pulled himself out of the whole affair and switched tracks. Big Boss had given his blessing (not that Kaz had wanted it) on the whole thing and with Ocelot’s help to pull some strings behind the scenes, Kaz had returned to America. He would have done it with or without the help of his ‘old allies’ but this had made things a lot easier for him. He wasn’t going to complain too much about it. For now.
Cane in hand, Kaz couldn’t help but wonder, as he let his gaze wander over the place, how many soldiers here would be able to recognise him. Or if he would still recognise anyone himself. He used to be able to know most by the code names they handed out to everyone who joined them but that time had long passed. He wasn’t their beloved commander anymore, just a strange visitor who stood out like a sore thumb between the uniformed soldiers with his olive green jacket and the brown pants. Forced to leave FOXHOUND’s iconic coat and anything displaying the organisation’s logo on it behind and lacking the barrett and jacket branded with the skull that adorned the flag of Outer Heaven, Kaz was here not as a representative of any military power but as a civilian . A civilian carrying a gun, sure, but still a civilian.
He felt naked and out of place.
There was a faint sound of paws on metal before Kaz spotted a familiar old dog running up to him with a concerning amount of speed. “Easy, DD, don’t jump at me, no-” He took a step back as DD showed no sign of slowing down but even that couldn’t save him from the pure force of the dog’s body colliding with his own. He let go of his cane to try to hold the dog up but only succeeded in stumbling further backwards and eventually ending up on the ground, and more precisely, on the hard metal flooring of the landing platform. He’d be feeling that tomorrow .
“DD, no! Bad dog!” He cursed as he tried to get up again just to have the dog’s snout right up in his face, happily licking him in greeting. Even Kaz 'words seemed to have no effect on DD’s behaviour. Some things apparently never changed. DD had never listened to anyone, stubborn as he was. Well, he had only ever listened to one specific man.
“DD, heel!”
And just like that, Kaz was free and had a hand offered to him to help him up.
He took it, being pulled up with ease by his rescuer.
“Are you sure that dog needs to retire?” Kaz asked as Venom picked up his cane and handed it back to him. He wordlessly took it back and then pointed at the dog. “He seems pretty chipper to me.” As if to confirm his words, DD nudged his head against Kaz’ leg, whining until Kaz finally started petting him.
“This is the most active he’s been in weeks. He missed you.” Venom looked at the dog with a smile.
“I don’t think DD even really remembers me, I’m sure he greets everyone like that.” His tone told Venom he didn’t want to be corrected should he be wrong about that. Kaz didn’t like the idea that anything or anyone in this place could have missed him. He had left Outer Heaven behind a while ago.
He had divorced himself entirely from it both because he felt like it was the best choice moving forward and because Big Boss had all but ordered him to do so and willing or not, Kaz was still stuck being his loyal dog at the end of the day. How much of that loyalty was born out of necessity for his revenge plans and how much of it was still rooted in misplaced affection for a man who had left him for dead, he wasn’t sure and he refused to acknowledge it long enough to get a conclusive answer even for himself. But one way or another, he shouldn’t be here and he definitely shouldn’t be talking to Venom of all people.
He was fully aware that half the base was looking at him.
He was no longer a part of this. He was a stranger, an oddity between the same faces leaving and returning to base. And here he was, being greeted by the boss himself, welcomed back like an old friend.
He awkwardly cleared his throat.
“Maybe we should go inside.”
Venom nodded, gesturing for him to follow him. Kaz made a point of ignoring the arm he offered him. He wasn’t going to give Venom’s men even more to gossip about once he left. If they were anything like his students back in the US then the gossip would be the hot new topic before he had even boarded the helicopter back home.
They headed for Venom’s office. Once inside, Kaz felt a terrible mix of bittersweet nostalgia and anger stir up in him. Sure, the location was different, but not much had changed since 84. Kaz could spot more than a handful of things he recognised. Old photos, a handful of tapes that he was genuinely shocked to still see in one piece after all these years, an old Diamond Dogs patch with a diamond embroidered in it …
V always cared about his men more than he ever did , Kaz thought. He had kept his own patch in a box shoved into the back of his closet alongside a lot of other things he could no longer bear to look at but hadn’t had the heart to throw away.
Nostalgia is a dangerous thing.
He couldn’t help but notice Venom’s office had about doubled in since he had last been here. “You expanded,” he stated dryly, turning over the numbers of how expensive such an undertaking must have been in his head. He wondered who was keeping track of these kinds of expenses now that he was busy drilling an unbeatable survivor’s instinct into a bunch of kids in the States. His obvious disapproval gained him an amused grunt from Venom. “Yeah, somehow I knew you wouldn’t like that.” He pointed at the right corner of the room where the expanded space had allowed room for a small seating area. “C’mon, sit, you can tell me all about why this was a bad idea, just like old times.”
Just like old times- but those old times were a lie, weren’t they, V?
Venom had barely sat down first when DD already took his place at his feet, head resting on the floor for only a moment before perking up again when Kaz didn’t follow Venom’s example to take a seat as well. “Are you going to stand the whole time?” Venom asked with a hint of genuine concern. He of all people knew Kaz was stubborn enough to at the very least genuinely consider it. When Kaz didn’t move, DD started getting noticeably restless and eventually got up, barking at Kaz once, twice before tugging at the sleeve of Kaz’ coat.
“You’re not gonna stop until I sit down, are you?” Kaz asked, earning another bark in return. He sighed, reluctantly deciding to finally sit down, mostly because he knew DD wouldn’t stop bugging him until he took a seat and between his stubbornness and that of the dog he had a feeling DD would win out. As if worried that he would leave again instantly, DD put his head on Kaz’ leg. For a damn dog DD certainly knew how to make Kaz feel guilty for trying to stay out of this. He gave Venom a pointed look.
Did you order him to make such a fuss?
Venom raised his hands in a defensive gesture but Kaz spotted the amused grin on his face. It was the first time Kaz was able to really see his face. Before his surgery he had been restricted to filling in the gaps with nothing but his imagination and memories that he would learn eventually concerned the wrong man. Venom had tried his best back then to stay close enough for Kaz to see his expression, to ensure he knew it every time the man smiled at him or eyed him with concern. That kindness alone should have told him something was different but he had taken it for granted so easily.
Now that he could see him, really see him, Kaz could recognise the subtle differences between them with ease.
He also spotted the hints of grey in Venom’s hair, the wrinkles around his eyes and mouth. Time, Kaz concluded, had done absolutely nothing to take away from how handsome he had considered Venom to be. His smile still did things to Kaz that he wasn’t brave enough to look at, things that made him want to get up right now and leave, never to come back again. Kaz was not a strong man when it came to matters of the heart, he had learnt that lesson years ago and he was terrified of the power Venom still had over him because of it.
He realised the man was looking at him. He had been staring, hadn’t he? Feeling his cheeks turn red, he turned away, pretending to be looking around the room, at DD, anything but the man in front of him. He should really get this over with already before the nostalgia could set in and turn him into a damn fool.
“So, why call me of all people?” he asked “I’m sure they could have found a place for him if you’d told them to look into it. You didn’t have to drag me all the way out here to take him with me.” His words held more accusations against Venom than he truly felt in his heart. If he was honest he didn’t mind leaving the States for a short time. FOXHOUND wasn’t exactly the most fulfilling or happy place on earth. Then again, neither was Outer Heaven. But the company was more bearable.
“I thought he’d have a good home with you.”
It was such a casual, honest answer, Kaz was surprised to hear it. It also displayed a level of trust that made him wish he would have stayed away. This was exactly what he was afraid of. Back at FOXHOUND he could happily ignore the world around him, forget the connection he and Venom had had and even pretend Big Boss had never left him because they were once again working side by side, like the good old times. It was a two edged sword. It was easy to forget at times when what he needed to do was remember. He still had a promise to keep that he had made to Ocelot years ago and a personal grievance that he wanted, needed justice for.
But he wasn’t going to reveal any of that to Venom. He couldn’t. He had no way to know how much Venom reported back to the boss. There was a good chance the man would already learn about the true nature of Kaz’ trip through Venom if he only bothered to ask and that was risky enough. At the end of the day, Venom was just another gear in Big Boss’ war machine. Just like Kaz himself. Their fates were already decided and no amount of wishful thinking on either side could change that.
DD nudged Kaz’ hand because he had stopped petting him, or maybe he had picked up on the way Kaz had tensed up. With DD he never knew how much the dog actually understood. “You’re a needy old dog, you know that?” Kaz tutted at him just to continue petting him anyway. He had to admit, he could get used to a dog at his side. It would make him feel less alone. He’d have something to come back home too.
“You’ve grown your hair out,” Venom pointed out. Kaz ran a hand through the end of his ponytail. “Huh, yeah I guess I did. Been a while since you last saw it, hasn’t it? I’ve only been trimming it when I have to for a while now. I kinda like it.”
“It suits you,” Venom stated and Kaz felt his stomach twist. That was the exact same thing Big Boss had told him when he had started growing it out. Venom, more observant than Kaz remembered him to be, noticed the change in his expression. “He thought so too, huh … all I can say is that it’s true. You look better than ever.”
“Don’t say that.” Not only did Kaz know for a fact that wasn’t true (he had spent hours in front of the mirror wondering where his youth had disappeared to, if he had always looked this tired …) but Venom’s compliments made him feel sick. Every kind word, every compliment reminded him what a fool he had been to ever believe Venom was the same man who had twisted his arm into joining him in Colombia all those years ago.
“Kaz, I’m sorry.”
Big Boss had never apologised to him. He never saw a reason to do so.
“Don’t. Just- stop talking, will you?” Kaz, felt overwhelmed all of the sudden, as if someone had reached right into his chest, grabbed his heart and started squeezing. He buried his head in his hands, pushing his sunglasses up and trying to not lose it further. Not here, not in front of him, not over this-
Venom didn’t say anything, but DD refused to let Kaz be. He pushed his head between Kaz’ hands and his face, not budging until Kaz relented. He ran a hand through DD’s fur. “Yeah, buddy, I know, I know . I don’t like this either,” he whispered, unsure of what else to do. In the silence that followed, Venom shifted in his seat before eventually deciding to get up and sit down on the floor next to DD to pet him.
DD seemed pleased with that, resting his head back on Kaz’ legs.
“I don’t think you should be sitting on the floor. Can’t be good for your knees,” Kaz said after a while. He still wasn’t looking at him, focusing entirely on DD instead. Venom waved his concern off. “It’s fine, I do worse things to my knees every other day in the field.” Kaz frowned at that. “That doesn’t mean you should keep it up outside of work too.” He paused, turning to face Venom again, expression almost unreadable behind his sunglasses, but Venom spotted Kaz’ nose twitch, the way it always did when he was considering something difficult.
“C’mon.” Kaz patted the empty space on the couch next to him. “Sit down.” Venom hesitated. “You sure?” Kaz rolled his eyes, grabbing the man’s arm to pull him up, clearly having made his decision and not accepting any resistance to that decision. “Just sit down already, old man. Before your knees force you to stay on the ground forever.”
“Hey, who are you calling old?”
“You,” Kaz responded without hesitation, hand reaching out to reach for Venom’s hair. “Have you looked in the mirror lately? Your hair’s more grey than brown now, old timer.”
Now that’s the Kaz I remember, Venom thought with a smile.
Once he had settled at Kaz’ side, they talked, and talked, and it almost felt like it had years ago. Kaz wanted it to be just like it had been years ago even if he knew it would never be like that again. He couldn’t allow for it to be. Yet it was easy to feel nostalgic, to consider what could have been if only he had made different choices back in the day, if only he hadn’t lost Venom to him .
Somewhere along the lines they had moved closer together on the couch, Venom resting his head on Kaz' shoulder as Kaz put an arm around him. It had come so naturally to them. They shouldn’t be this close together, but just for a short while, Kaz decided to silence the voice in his head that told him this was a bad idea. This moment right now belonged only to them, not Outer Heaven, not Venom’s men, not Big Boss. Just the two of them.
We earned some selfishness, haven’t we? We’re playing our role with such dutiful diligence, we deserve a break. Maybe two monsters like us can find some peace together, at least for a moment. Yes, just for a moment …
Deep in thought, Kaz ran his hand through Venom’s hair, gently, loving, as he had done many times before, as if the world outside didn’t exist and he could pretend that he could get away with this. “We should have ran away back in 85. Just the two of us. Take the dog and disappear.” Venom hummed. “He’d send Ocelot after us in a heartbeat. We wouldn’t have made it out of Afghanistan without half of Diamond Dogs hunting us down. We would have been dead in a month.”
“But it would have been a great month together, don’t you think?”
Venom shifted, raising his head just enough that he could look at Kaz. “I always feared you’d say that, you know … that you would decide that no matter what, it would be worth it.” Kaz met his eyes. Venom was tempted to reach out and move his sunglasses out of the way. He decided against it. Kaz swallowed.
“Is that why you never asked?”
“It’s part of it.”
He looked away, Venom could see it even through his sunglasses. He knew he had hurt Kaz years ago by deciding to stay, by not considering any other option but to remain where he was and do as he was told. He had always felt a certain amount of regret over that. But he couldn’t turn back time to change what he had done. There was nothing he could do now except tell Kaz the truth and hope the man would forgive him. He didn’t expect Kaz to forgive him.
In the silence, Kaz leaned forward, resting his forehead against Venom’s. He suddenly felt ten years older than he really was. Exhausted, tired. He just wanted to be able to stay here with Venom forever, forget that Outer Heaven existed right outside the door and that he had to return to the States soon, forget that there was a young man who would wonder what had happened to his mentor if he didn’t come back and a boss who would be furious with him and raise hell to force him back at his side.
“I think I was in love with you, you know,” Kaz admitted quietly, only daring to whisper the words as if he was afraid that if they reached Venom’s ears he’d fall apart. But of course the man had heard him. “I loved you too.” He hesitated. “I think I still do.” Kaz smiled a bittersweet smile, and when Venom lifted his hand to caress his cheek he could feel the tears on his skin. Carefully lifting Kaz’ glasses and setting them down on the table next to them, he grasped the man’s face with both hands, thumbs running over his cheeks to wipe away the tears.
“I’m sorry.”
Kaz placed his left hand on Venom’s own, closing his eyes for a moment as he felt the warmth of it. “I know you are. I’m sorry too.” He turned his head to place a gentle kiss against Venom’s hand before withdrawing. Venom knew the moment was over. Whatever they had just confessed to each other, it wouldn’t change anything. It didn’t matter.
Kaz stood up with a sudden urgency as if he had remembered he had somewhere to be. “I think I should go.” DD, startled, got up as well, standing in his way as he tried to leave the office. When Kaz put his hand on the door handle, DD growled at him.
“DD-” Venom had gotten up as well, trying to order the dog to get out of the way but DD refused to listen to him. Kaz, unsure what to do with a growling dog between him and the door, turned to Venom for help. “Don’t tell me I’m being taken prisoner by a dog- a dog I’m supposed to take home with me. You’re sure he’s going to come with me?” He was trying to ignore the way his hands were getting sweaty at the slightest sign of trouble.
Kaz liked to have an escape route, no matter how silly the necessity for it.
Right now DD was very much in his way and old or not, he knew DD was a hunting dog. If he really wanted to keep Kaz here he’d stay here unless Venom managed to reign him in. That was, if Venom wanted to.
I loved you too … I think I still do.
This was exactly why Kaz shouldn’t have agreed to this. The uncertainty of where he and Venom stood, the paranoia that the slightest sign of trouble could set off in him, the concern for himself and Venom should a certain man back home hear about any of this … Kaz’ presence here did nothing but make things worse for both of them one way or another. Coming here had been irresponsible, stupid .
Finally, after Venom had stepped closer, DD relented, albeit not without letting out the saddest whine Kaz had ever heard from the dog. Great, now he was being guilt tripped by a damn dog. “Has he always been this dramatic?” Kaz tried to joke but neither he nor Venom laughed. “He knows neither of us is happy with this,” was all Venom said, with that damn honesty of his that made Kaz wince, before leading him back outside. He called in to make sure Kaz’ helicopter was refuelled and ready to leave.
He didn’t say another word until they reached the landing platform. DD had followed dutifully albeit not without making his dissatisfaction known to them both. He nudged Kaz’ left hand a few times and tried to stand in his way to no avail. Kaz didn’t acknowledge him.
“I’ve had the men prepare his things,” Venom said as he pointed at a handful of boxes that were being loaded into the helicopter. Kaz frowned. “Just how much stuff can one dog have?”
“I put all his old equipment in there and stuff like that … his bowls, that leash we never used for him, his favourite blanket … we won’t have use for any of it anymore so I thought better to give it all to you.” Kaz couldn’t argue with that.
Finally, when everything was loaded in and ready for takeoff, Venom reached out to Kaz again, obviously unsure how to say goodbye. For a moment Kaz thought he was going to hug him but he settled on putting his hand on Kaz’ shoulder instead.
This shouldn’t be so hard but neither Kaz nor Venom seemed to find the right words to say. It took Venom an eternity to speak up again.
“I hate having to let you go, you know.”
His honesty still managed to take Kaz aback no matter how many times he encountered it. He appreciated being told the truth, to not be lied to for once in his life, but it also made it a lot harder for him to pretend like Venom didn’t care and like they weren’t both parting with a heavy heart and a lot of regrets.
“V, you know I can’t stay.”
“I know and I won’t ask you to. I just wanted to see you again.”
“I- … it was nice to see you again.”
“I’m glad you came even if it’s gonna hurt to let go again.”
Kaz hesitated as he moved towards the helicopter and then turned around to face Venom again. “Come here, for old time’s sake.” He pulled Venom closer, hand gently caressing his cheek as he looked into his eyes with a bittersweet smile. “Thank you for trusting me with DD. I promise I’ll take good care of him.” He had to take a deep breath to try and collect his thoughts, hoping Venom wouldn’t pick up on the way his voice wavered as he continued.
“And you better take good care of yourself too. Do it for me.”
And with that he placed a kiss on Venom’s lips, quick and a lot more chaste than any other kisses between them had ever been. But Kaz knew it was all he could give his old friend. If he gave him more he’d end up staying for good and he couldn’t do that. There was a young man in the States who was expecting his teacher back in two days and an old tyrant who still had to face judgement one of these days. And Kaz had decided years ago he would be judge and jury for that.
And Venom understood that so he let go as soon as Kaz stepped away and didn’t say another word, quietly helping Kaz back into the helicopter as he had done so many times before. As he would never do again. DD followed without having to be asked to jump up into the vehicle. He curled up at Kaz’ feet, ears turned down as he settled with an anxious sigh.
Venom waved as they departed. Kaz waved back, kept waving until he couldn’t see Venom anymore and Outer Heaven slowly disappeared beyond the horizon. Kaz tried to ignore the hollowness that threatened to overcome him as he finally tore his eyes away from the window.
We’ll both have to endure a little longer …
—----
Kaz had instantly begun unpacking DD’s boxes once they had arrived at his place while DD went off exploring his new home. Kaz unearthed a ridiculous amount of old gear that he was sure they’d have no use for ever again given DD’s retired status and yet he couldn’t get himself to throw any of it away either.
The last boxes contained more useful things such as DD’s water and food bowl which DD instantly demanded to be filled the second Kaz had put them down on the floor. He also pulled out quite a lot of blankets, toys and other knick knacks that made him wonder just how much of Outer Heaven’s budget had gone to one single dog.
“Always the dutiful accountant,” Venom had said a few times to mock his inability to let anything money related go unscrutinized. “Yes, and that is the only reason we’re not in the red yet,” Kaz had reminded him every time with only slight offence. “Someone has to keep you in check when it comes to spending our money.”
He wondered how Outer Heaven’s budget looked without him now.
He was about to fold the empty boxes up to throw them away when he noticed something attached to the bottom of one of them. He reached down, pulling something light that had been taped to the bottom out. When he pulled it up into the light he identified it as an envelope. There was clearly something inside it.
He ripped it open, too impatient to get up and grab the letter opener from his table. Something fell out, clattering to the ground with a hollow sound. Kaz bent down to pick it up. It was a cassette tape. He inspected it further. Perhaps Venom had forgotten one of his old tapes in the box, he doubted it was anything important if it had snuck into the box without anyone missing it. The first side was blank. He turned the tape around- and almost dropped it again.
It was simply labelled “Kaz”. He recognised the handwriting instantly.
He thought about pretending he hadn’t seen the tape, throwing it away with the empty boxes and carrying on as if nothing had happened. But he knew DD’s presence here, all the stuff gathered around him, it was all proof that he had been in contact with him again and that he couldn’t escape his demons even if he tried to.
He might regret it one day if he didn’t listen to it now- but he also might regret listening to it at all .
His curiosity, stubborn as ever, eventually won out as he walked over to his garage to search for a walkman that he knew he had discarded in a box somewhere in there. He found it surrounded by a bunch of old cables he really should just have thrown away by now- though if anything this day proved that even this stuff might come in handy one day and discarding things had never been Kaz’ strong suit.
The headphones were found a lot quicker and with headphones, walkman and cassette tape in hand, he sat down at his dinner table, hands shaking as he inserted the tape and his finger hovered over the button to play it. DD, who had followed him closely this whole time, had sat down next to him, ears raised and head tilted to the side in curiosity. For a moment Kaz wondered if he could play the tape through a speaker so DD could hear too. But that was ridiculous of him, wasn’t it? Playing a tape to a dog-
He shook his head and finally pressed play.
[Click]
“Kaz, I don’t know if I’ll ever have the chance to give you this recording but I hope it finds its way into your hands eventually.
I've tried to record this damn tape more times than I can count now. Maybe this time I’ll get it right. There’s a thousand things I want to say, none of them right. There’s really nothing to say in the end, is there?”
[Pause]
“I guess I wanted to thank you for everything you’ve done. For me, for Diamond Dogs … it was always your work more than mine, I just looked the part and took it all for granted.
I guess I took a lot about you for granted over the years too. I know he did.
But I can do something he won’t: I can thank you.
I should have done this sooner, but timing was never my strong suit, or at least I don’t think it ever was.
Kaz, you were always my best man and I didn’t always respect that. But you were a good friend to me and an even better partner … in whatever way you want to define that. I thank you for that. I really do.
I know he’s sunken his claws into both of us and I know we’re both going to hell for what we’ve done but I want you to make the most of what you have now.
I’m already dead, Kaz, but you can still live. If you’ll do nothing else for me, do me this one favour and live .
I’ll see you on the other side one day.”
[Click]
Kaz sat at his table in silence as the tape came to a halt. He had known listening to this would be hard and uncomfortable and he already wished he hadn’t done it, fighting the tears that were beginning to form in the corner of his eyes as he ran a hand through his hair, the other still gripping the walkman. He forced himself to take a deep breath that quickly turned into an outright sob as he buried his head in his arms.
Damn him , he thought, unsure if his anger was addressed at Venom for reminding him of what they lost or Big Boss for doing any of this to them in the first place, or both.
He sat there and cried like he hadn’t cried in years, like he hadn’t since the day his mother had died. He couldn’t win, could he? Venom asked him to live, but what good would that do if both of them still lost everything in the end?
He felt DD nudging his arm, trying to lick his face and letting out a frustrated noise when he couldn’t reach it. Kaz shifted, taking off the headphones and trying to wipe away his tears as DD already jumped up at him, determined to lick his face. “Oh DD, not this again- DD, stop.” Kaz tried to shield his face with his left arm just for DD to start licking his arm instead.
“You’re not gonna take no for an answer, are you?” He wasn’t sure why, but DD’s stubborn insistence almost made him laugh. It was such a stupid, mundane thing to happen to him. Having a whiny dog who wanted to be included at all times … yeah that was certainly a change. Maybe it was a good one. As he patted DD on the head his heart already felt lighter again.
Perhaps he could honour Venom’s last wish to him after all. He couldn’t change their fates, couldn’t run away with him and pretend that their histories wouldn’t catch up with them eventually … but he could take care of DD for him. Or maybe DD was taking care of him instead. Maybe that was what Venom had hoped for from the start.
He gently but firmly pushed DD back down again and pulled the tape out of his walkman. For a moment he contemplated what to do with it, fingers running over the tape’s label where his name was still staring back at him.
He tried to imagine Venom sitting down to label it after recording his message, wondering what had been going through the man’s head in the moment.
After long consideration and when he could feel DD getting restless at his side again, he placed the tape back in the envelope he had taken it from, deciding to store it somewhere safe later. There was a box at the back of his closet where he knew it would fit right in.
The moment he moved his chair, DD jumped up, spinning in a circle once, twice, in excitement before barking at Kaz, tail wagging wildly. “Yes, yes, I know, you haven’t been out yet, I’m on my way, okay?” DD barked again, already sprinting towards the door as Kaz looked for his jacket and keys so he could take DD on a walk.
Maybe a dog wasn’t such a bad idea and maybe, just maybe, he could do something for Venom too by taking good care of DD … and himself.