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They decide to announce the news that Friday evening, which happens to be both an off-day for filming and Wayne’s birthday. Chris had been surprisingly kind enough to let them use the bonfire area for the evening, and given them a spare packet of marshmallows to roast, so the members of team skunk-butt are happily sitting around the bonfire, chatting, listening to the radio, munching on their marshmallows and drinking cans of sweet iced tea that Bowie had brought with him to camp.
Bowie is very sweetly curled up beside Raj, leaning on his shoulder, gazing into the fire as Raj chats excitedly with Wayne and Ripper about something hockey-related. MK’s not quite sure what they’re talking about, but seeing Bowie and Raj show such a casual, public display of affection makes her want to as well - so she nudges Julia with her foot and gives her a significant look. No time like the present, right?
Julia nods at MK, and clears her throat. “Okay, listen up everyone!” she shouts, suddenly leaping onto a log seat with her hands on her hips. “MK and I have something suuuper important to announce.”
MK grins at her girlfriend, and moves to stand next to her on the log. “Yeah. Super important!”
Wayne groans. “You guys haven’t come up with another plan to cheat again, have you?”
“Yeah,” Raj agrees. “You said you would stop with all that sneaky stuff!!”
“Ugh, chill, it’s totally not like that.” Julia says, tossing her hair over her shoulder. She strikes a rather imposing figure, glowing in the firelight, with her hands on her hips and glaring down at all of them.
“Yeah,” says MK, folding her arms. “You guys always believe the worst in us!”
“To be fair, you’ve cheated twice so far,” Bowie says.
“And you roped us into it!” says Wayne.
“Hold on, you cheated without me?” demands Ripper.
“Wait, twice?!” Raj exclaims, rounding on Bowie. “I thought it was only once!” Bowie shoots MK and Julia a panicked look.
MK thinks fast. “He’s talking about me last season,” MK says quickly. “When I downloaded all your confessionals!”
Raj and Bowie both look equally relieved, though for entirely different reasons. “Oh, okay, I guess that’s fine then,” Raj says, happily accepting this story. “That’s all in the past, right?”
Bowie mouths the words ‘Thank you,’ to MK.
“Uh, hello?” Julia suddenly says loudly. “Can we get back to our super important announcement?”
“Are you trying to beat my world record fart?” says Ripper, looking suspicious.
“Are you planning a prank on the other team?” Wayne asks, eyes bright.
“Oh, I know, you’ve found a way to get in contact with the outside world and it turns out our hockey team is on top of the leaderboard!” says Raj. He and Wayne fistbump.
“No, no, and… no, dudes,” MK says. “Why on earth would that be it? No, what Julia was going to say is that-“
“MK AND I ARE DATING,” Julia interrupts loudly, then sighs in relief and looks at her girlfriend. “Ugh, sorry, babe, you were just taking too long to get to the point.”
MK just kisses her on the cheek, and turns to the others with a wide smile. Then she frowns. “Well, aren’t you going to congratulate us?”
Wayne and Raj are staring at them both with twinning wide eyes and open mouths. Ripper looks uninterested. Bowie is holding his head in his hands with… despair?
“Well?” Julia demands. “Congratulate us! This is a good thing!”
Bowie looks back up at them. His eyes are… yeah, definitely full of despair. “No it’s not!” he says.
“Why not?” MK asks, affronted. “Are you homophobic or something?”
“I’m literally gay!” Bowie says.
“So am I!” says Raj.
“I’m not,” Wayne says. Raj pats his arm sympathetically.
“It’s okay, Wayne.”
“Dude, I’m not complaining. Girls are so… awesome! And pretty! Especially the ones that play hockey. Also, I’m totally not homophobic and I don’t care that you guys are lesbians at all,” he adds quickly, looking at Julia and MK.
They all turn to Ripper.
“Uh,” Ripper says. “The more girlfriends in this world, the better?”
“So what’s the problem?” Julia says, looking annoyed. “If you guys aren’t homophobic and you all agree girls are totally great, why do you care that we’re dating?”
“We don’t care that you’re both girls,” Bowie says impatiently, “we care that you’re both awful people.”
MK sighs longingly and stares at her girlfriend. “Yeah, that’s why she’s totally perfect.”
“Awww, babe!”
Bowie looks at them in disgust. “So you both like each other… because of your mutual lack of respect and kindness for other people?”
“Mhm,” MK says, not really listening, because Julia looks really gorgeous in the firelight.
“I just think it’s scary,” Raj admits. Wayne nods in agreement.
“Yeah, you guys were already terrifying as just allies!”
“Well, I’m not a wuss!” Ripper says loudly. “I’m not scared of lesbians!”
Julia fixes him with a dagger-eyed stare. “Are you sure about that?”
Ripper gulps.
“Okay, let’s not get hostile,” Bowie says, holding his hands up. Then he scratches his head. “I don’t get it, though, to be honest. Wouldn’t you want someone who… makes you a better person? Like Raj for me,” he says, giving his boyfriend a soft smile.
Julia frowns. “She does make me a better person. My insults and sarcastic comments have improved, like, 80 percent since we started dating.”
“Yeah,” MK says heatedly. “And I’m not sure where she’s getting that math from, but I’m also certain that if you calculated the improvement in my manipulation tactics and scheming abilities, it would be a positive increase!”
“I love it when you talk nerdy,” Julia sighs.
Bowie just shakes his head in defeat. “You guys are so concerning.”
Julia glares at him. “You know, we figured we’d actually do something nice and tell our teammates something important to us, but I guess we shouldn’t have bothered. Especially with your track record of getting involved with other people’s relationships!”
“Okay, if you’re referring to Chase and Emma, that was completely-“
“And,” Julia adds, ignoring him, “Even if you think we’re awful for each other, you have to admit we make a cuter couple than Ripper and Axel.”
“Hey!” Ripper says.
Wayne, Raj and Bowie exchange a glance.
“Sorry man,” says Wayne, shrugging.
“Hate to say it, dude,” adds Raj.
“It’s true,” finishes Bowie.
MK feels impressed with her teammates. “Wow, guys. I think this if the first time we’ve all agreed on something!”
“I don’t agree with it!” says Ripper.
Julia rolls her eyes. “When will you learn, Ripper? Nobody cares what you think.”
“Sick burn, babe.”
“It’s all thanks to you,” Julia says sweetly.
MK kisses her. It feels exactly right. Who cares what everyone else thinks: MK thinks they’re perfect for each other.