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"You can go home if you want."
Akutagawa turned to look at Gin, shaking his head slightly. "I'll wait, we can walk back together. You're going overseas again anyways."
Gin only nodded, folding her arms. They haven't walked home together in a while, so if Akutagawa offered it, so be it.
Soon after, Hirotsu arrived with Tachihara beside him, his arms folded behind his head and a lazy smile on his face while the middle-aged man looked as elegant as ever.
"Gin," he acknowledged her, nodding, then turned to Akutagawa. "Akutagawa-san."
Akutagawa bowed slightly. Tachihara also greeted him with a slight nod. They were going to have a short meeting, and Akutagawa decided he could wait - just so he could walk home together with his sister.
"I think you're already informed, but let me officially inform you as well. We're going overseas, to Russia to protect the well-paid goods during transactions. We'll be out by tomorrow morning, so I want you to prepare your things tonight. Is that clear?"
Gin nodded while Tachihara started sulking. "Oh, c'mon, old man! It's almost Christmas Eve, why do we have to go at this time of the year, exactly?!"
Hirotsu sighed. "Because big transactions during Christmas attract less attention."
"But I wanted to celebrate it!"
After closing his eyes and dropping his head for a few seconds, Hirotsu opened his eyes with a sigh, looking back at Tachihara. "Get your things. We can celebrate it there."
"Wait, wha— Really?!"
Akutagawa could see the slight shine in his sister's eyes. Seriously, what was all the hype for?
"Yeah. Or are me and Gin not enough for you to celebrate?"
A certain giddiness could be sensed from Tachihara. "I don't have any objections! I mean, sure, Christmas with this guy would be somewhat boring, but—"
Gin cut him off by smacking him on the shoulder, rolling his eyes. "You're more boring than me. All you do is play video games."
Tachihara chuckled, waving his hand. "Joking, joking..."
Akutagawa noticed Hirotsu had turned towards him, his kind gaze on his face. He raised an eyebrow.
"Do you have any plans for Christmas Eve, Akutagawa-kun?"
The honorifics had changed, Akutagawa noticed. He blinked, stopping for a moment. "Uh— Me?"
Hirotsu nodded. "Yeah, you."
"I—" He shook his head proudly, closing his eyes. "Not really. I don't do all that."
"All that?" Hirotsu raised an eyebrow.
"Christmas, I mean. Never once celebrated in my life."
Hirotsu nodded understandingly while Tachihara's eyes widened. "Never?!"
Akutagawa shook his head. "No."
"Why are you so surprised?" Gin raised an eyebrow, questioning. "I mean, I only celebrated it once, and it was with you last year."
"Yeah, uh, sorry—" Tachihara scratched the back of his neck before bowing all the way down. "I'm truly sorry, Akutagawa-san! Please forgive me!"
Akutagawa sighed. He was never going to be used to Tachihara being this formal with him, especially after his... Relationship, with his sister, settled.
"Whatever." he said.
●○●
The walk home was silent - like it always was - but comfortable. Knowing Gin would be overseas for a few days wasn’t good news, but at least he wasn't concerned about her safety. She was a highly talented assassin who could protect herself, plus it wasn't her first mission overseas.
Still...
He kind of didn't want to stay alone.
"Should I make something sweet to eat today?" she asked as they walked on the sidewalk, and Akutagawa had to hold back a snort.
"You?" he said, raising an eyebrow and turning to look at him. "Baking?"
Gin just shrugged, putting her hands in her pockets.
Akutagawa sighed. "Forget it, I'm gonna bake cupcakes."
She quickly turned towards him, hands suddenly held up in fists. "Really?!"
He nodded.
She tilted her head. "Chocolate or strawberry?"
"Both?"
"You're the best brother ever."
Akutagawa chuckled. "Yeah, I wish." Gin shrugged.
Later that night, as they ate their cupcakes, Gin sparked a conversation.
"Ryuunosuke?" she called out, taking a bite from her strawberry cupcake.
"Hm?" Akutagawa hummed, his cheeks full of chocolate cake and cream. Yeah, he really overdid it with this one. Unfortunately, he made a little bit too much - it was okay, he could always save his cupcakes for later. Maybe he would give some to Chuuya.
"Are you sad?"
He raised an eyebrow, looking straight at her eyes. He gulped down the cake left in his mouth. "Where did that come from?"
Gin shrugged. "I don't know. You know, even if we didn't celebrate Christmas - we were always together during it."
"This topic again?" Akutagawa sighed. "It's okay, I swear. Plus, you did celebrate it last year, remember?"
"Yeah, but I was home at the end of the day."
Akutagawa shook his head. "Doesn't matter, really. Christmas or not, it's always the same for me. I don't really care."
Gin tilted her head, her eyes having a tint of sadness and concern. "I don't want you to spend it alone, though..."
"Spending it alone means eating all the cupcakes by myself." And it was the truth, damn.
So it made Gin chuckle. "Okay, maybe, you have a point."
"I do."
Gin huffed at last, waving her hand as she chewed down the rest of the cake. "Whatever you say, Ryuunosuke."
●○●
With Gin gone in the morning just like that, Akutagawa had gone to work too. That was what all his life was about, anyway. Work, Gin, kill, work, Gin, kill—
Then there were the occasional little adventures, of course, which weren't always pleasant.
So going back home that day felt like a blessing - because that day was especially tiring. Fights weren't even close to the things that really exhausted Akutagawa - it was the files, folders and especially negotiations. How the heck was he supposed to sweet talk someone for information without ripping their throat apart?
Well, that was what he had to do today, so while his muscles weren't burning and screaming, his brain was about to detonate. He quite literally didn't know how he got his keys out of his pocket or how he opened his door, throwing himself inside.
It was silent, inside the house.
Not like it was usually lively, since Gin was always silent and so was he - but she had a rather comforting presence that Akutagawa would rather be near her.
It wasn't the first time they separated, of course it wasn't. He had dealt with the silence before, he had dealt with coming home to lights still turned off, he had dealt with walking alone - of course he did. It wasn't a big deal nor something he should've been fussing about. Of course he could do this, of course—
No matter how many times he was left alone, it never took away the terrifying chill he felt whenever he came home to utter silence.
He huffed frustratedly, closing the door behind him and reaching to the side to turn on the light switch. He shook his head from side to side as he quickly took his shoes off, eyebrows furrowed. It's okay, he thought to himself. She's okay. I'm okay. This is okay and I'm so fucking stupid for fussing over it now.
Throwing his shoes to the side, he walked through the corridor, entering the living room and turning on the light switch there as well.
Yeah, it was still silent, but at least not dark anymore.
However, he couldn't help but widen his eyes when he was met with—
What the fuck—?
There stood a huge, tall, lanky pine tree with all its simple glory in the middle of his room. It was absolutely simple - not an ounce of decoration on it, just all brown and green.
"What the fuck?" Akutagawa said, aloud this time.
He stared at the tree, the tree stared back at him.
●○●
He has been sitting in front of the tree for a while, legs crossed, phone in hand. Akutagawa figured they were doing a staring contest, because the tree's presence was huge and it didn't fucking tear its eyes away— well, it didn't have eyes, but whatever. It did feel like it was staring right into Akutagawa's soul and piercing holes into it.
So Akutagawa did the same. He got the most menacing look he could manage on his face - in front of a pine tree, for fucks sake - and stared at it, blinking lowered to minimal. He could pierce its soul, not it, it was just a tree.
Well, whatever. It being a tree or not didn't matter. An enemy was an enemy.
Now he was on the phone with Hirotsu after various calls done with other people. Higuchi, Tachihara, some of his other subordinates - he came close to calling Chuuya but backed down on the last second.
"Believe me, Akutagawa-kun," Hirotsu said calmly, "I have no idea what tree you're talking about."
"It's standing in the middle of my room. I think it wants to kill me, Hirotsu-san."
He heard a sigh from the other end, then a gunshot. He raised an eyebrow at the sound. "Hirotsu-san?"
"It's nothing, just a gunshot. Now, Akutagawa-kun, I believe trees can't have the intention to kill someone nor could they do it—" Another gunshot. "—so maybe it's another thing?"
Akutagawa huffed. "But then why is it staring at me like that? I swear it wants to tear me apart with those long branches of its. Okay, I think I know what I'll do, I'll use Rashoumon and cut it down before it could—"
"Oh, no, please have mercy on the tree, Akutagawa-kun—"
"Hirotsu-san?"
Upon hearing his sister's voice, Akutagawa perked up, sitting upright and lowering Rashoumon from where it was ready to Hite the tree down.
"Is it Ryuunosuke?"
"Yeah, it is. Akutagawa-kun, Gin is here, do you want to ask her as well?"
He stopped for a moment, tapping his fingers on the floor. "Uh, if she's free—"
"Here, Gin."
Akutagawa heard the phone changing hands, still staring at the tree with utmost determination while listening just as intently.
"Hey, Ryuunosuke."
"Hey. So, Gin, listen, this is important."
"What is it?"
"So I found this pine tree in the middle of my room when I came back from work and now it wants to kill me."
After a silent moment, he heard Gin snort. "It wants to kill you...?"
"Yeah. It keeps staring at me with all those branches peeking out. I think it wants to stab me with them. What should I do?"
"Well—" Another gunshot could be heard coming from a little far away, then multiple gunshots followed it. It seemed like a fight was going on. "—you probably shouldn't try to bite it off with Rashoumon. Maybe it's a Christmas tree?"
Akutagawa stilled, pulling his knees a little to himself. "A Christmas tree...? But what is it doing here—" A scream could be heard. "Hey, what's going on there—"
"Nothing, Tachihara is handling it. Hey, maybe it's a gift? I mean, why else would someone send you a tree?"
Poor Tachihara, Akutagawa thought. "I don't think anyone would send me a gift, nonetheless a gift like this. Plus, how could they enter the house?"
"You sure you have no one that might send you a gift?"
Akutagawa could almost hear the smirk in her voice.
The fact that one certain face appeared in his vision was embarrassing in itself, but knowing Gin just knew who it was—
"Oh, like hell." he almost spitted, turning his face away from the tree for the first time since he saw it.
He heard Gin chuckle. "Still, how that tree entered the house, I have no idea! Just don't bite it down; it might come in handy later."
"But why would it—"
"I think Tachihara is struggling a little, I need to go give him a hand. See you later!"
With just that, she hung up.
Akutagawa sighed.
Okay, so he would let the tree stay for a while, just because Gin said so. Who it was from and how did it come here? Oh, he wouldn't think about that.
He looked back at the tree, expression sour, eyebrows furrowed. He stood up, pointing at the tree.
"It's you versus me here, you lanky green-disguised devil. Be careful, this is my territory and it's my rules in this house. I'll cut you down first and throw you out later at your first mistake."
Maybe he was being a little too aggressive.
Oh, well, who cares?
●○●
When Akutagawa came back home from work the next day, he didn't expect the tree would disappear all by itself - but still, he did scrunch his eyebrows at the sight of it again. All those branches held out in the air like a threat and such.
"You're still here," he said while putting his shoes aside, trying to act unbothered. "How surprised I am."
The tree just stood there.
Akutagawa huffed. "Look, I know we don't like each other much, but at least try to look a little less threatening, okay? When you're like this, I just want to tear you apart despite what Gin said to me."
The tree just... stood there.
Akutagawa shook his head in frustration as he walked towards it, pointing an accusing index finger at it. "What? You are the one invading my space! Why are you acting like the victim now? All I did was do some housework while you just... Stood there yesterday!"
Yeah, he was definitely losing his mind. Because who - just who would bicker with a tree, other than Akutagawa?
He folded his arms, looking at the tree with annoyance. "Whoever you came from must be just a disgrace to the world. I hate you." Sighing, he sat down on the ground grumpily and looked at the tree.
After a few seconds of silence, finally, he muttered.
"You're very much naked."
Because if it was really sent with the intention of a Christmas celebration - which it probably was - weren't Christmas trees supposed to be decorated?
But, well, who was going to decorate it anyways?
Definitely not him.
He sighed for the dozenth time that day, and leaned slightly towards the tree. "I'm not gonna decorate you, sorry about that," he said, coughing slightly. "I know we didn't get a great start, but you can... Ahem," He looked around as if the tree could see him. "You can stay and accompany me, if you insist."
Because he was pretty sure it insisted. It appeared out of nowhere and had been standing in the middle of his room since yesterday, why else?
"I mean, you can stay... Over Christmas. Since you're a silent guest who wants nothing other than to take my space... It's all right, I guess."
Silence, again.
Akutagawa frowned. "I know you're physically unable to, but it'd be great if you just responded to me every once in a while."
Well, of course it wouldn't. Why would it?
But then again, it just kept standing there, as if it was hearing Akutagawa and just being stubborn.
Akutagawa just shook his head frustratedly from side to side. It was clear to him that the tree wanted to stay - and he was pretty certain that if he threw it out, the tree would grow feet and come back.
"Okay, okay. You can stay. But you need a name." He raised his head back, focusing on the tree and thinking of a name. He put his hand on his chin, utterly focused on the branches and leaves.
"Found it." he said after a while, sitting upright before standing up and pointing a finger at the tree. "Your name will be..."
The tree almost looked at him expectantly.
"Tree."
Akutagawa snorted as he saw the tree looking disappointed - was he hallucinating that? - and waved his hand. "I know I'm creative, no need to thank me."
Pausing for a moment, he looked at Tree. "Wait, actually, yeah. Thank me. I'm letting you stay here, and I even found a name for you."
Of course it didn't thank him. Did it not like the name?
Akutagawa shrugged.
At least he had a companion for Christmas.
●○●
Christmas Eve arrived quickly, and soon, Akutagawa was trapped in his own kitchen.
The Mafia didn't give days off for holidays. It actually was even busier on holidays - but somehow, he managed to finish his work early and run back home to Tree. He did not rush his work to not leave Tree alone, all right?
He just wanted to get home earlier and rest. Tch.
It might be the first Christmas Eve he was spending without Gin, but then again, he never celebrated it anyways, so it really wasn't a big deal - he couldn't deny having company was pleasant though. Even if it was a lanky ass tree in his house, named Tree.
So he carried it to his kitchen - which was a part of the living room just across the corridor of the entrance - to keep him company as he cooked soup. Since he usually lived off of takeouts and whatever Mafia brought to him, he hadn't cooked in a while. He trusted in his cooking skills, though. He was pretty sure they were decent, at the very least.
As he mixed the ingredients in his pot idly, he swayed on his feet from side to side, talking with Tree to keep himself busy.
"You know how they put lights and things all over your kind today? Isn't it disturbing? I think it must be pretty disturbing, getting all tangled in lights and tinsel and other decorations. You're lucky I don't have any decorations, though. I mean, even if I had them, decorating you all by myself wouldn't be great, anyway. Don't get me wrong, your company is all right. It's just that, you know... You're a tree. And you can't talk. And— Whatever."
He huffed. "Do you think this soup is done? I followed the recipe. I think it should be done, but I'm not sure... I haven't cooked in a while, you know. Plus, it looks a little bit too much. I don't think I can finish it by myself, anyways."
He turned his head around to look at Tree. "Think you can eat soup?"
He legitimately stared at the tree for a few seconds in silence before letting out a snort. He had accidentally cooked soup for two people, being used to sharing with Gin.
Oh well. He would just have to find a way to feed the soup to Tree.
Just at that moment, he heard his doorbell ring, turning his head around to look at the entrance. He raised an eyebrow questioningly.
Who could it be at this hour, on Christmas Eve, nonetheless?
"Wait right here," he said, like the tree could go anywhere else, making his way to the door with slow steps.
Akutagawa trusted his instincts, so he didn't think it was an assassin or something - it could be someone from the Mafia running errands, or a delivery came to the wrong door.
As he put his hand on the doorknob, he stopped.
Who the fuck is it—
Before he could finish his little inner speech, though, his hand moved on its own, opening the door and revealing—
Revealing a man with silver hair and ametrine eyes, holding plastic bags full of decoration, looking confused as fuck.
A few silent moments passed as they only stared at each other, both of their lips falling slightly agape.
Furrowing his eyebrows, Akutagawa closed the door.
What the fuck?
He opened the door once again, only to find the same scene.
So he wasn't dreaming, all right.
As he tried to close the door again, a hand stopped it - the man held it open.
"Okay, wait," he said, taking a moment and closing his eyes. "Let's do it again?"
Akutagawa nodded silently, the man looked just as confused as himself as he closed the door once again. He took in a deep breath before opening the door to see the very face same again.
"Weretiger?!" he said with a confused voice this time, coming out a little harsher than expected.
"Akutagawa?!" Atsushi yelled a second later, his eyebrows furrowed as well.
They only stared at each other questioningly before Akutagawa sighed. "Okay, this one fit the character better."
"Yeah, sure. But wait, actually—" Atsushi raised one of the plastic bags in his hand, looking down at it. "Why did he tell me to bring those here of all the places...?"
Akutagawa put a hand on his hip, still frowning. "Why are you here, exactly?"
Atsushi huffed. "Look, I'm not here to mess with you, okay? In fact, I am so not looking forward to ruining my Christmas Eve by fighting with you."
"And I'm not in the mood for a fight as well," Akutagawa replied.
"Surprisingly."
"Hey—"
"Yeah, whatever."
Akutagawa huffed once again, frustratedly, as he stared at Atsushi. "Then why are you even here?"
"Because," Atsushi started, "We decorated the office, and those are the leftover decorations. Dazai-san told me to bring them to this address, saying there's someone who would receive them gladly—" He froze at the moment, then practically slapped his forehead with his hand. "Of course, Dazai-san..."
Okay, so the one trying to mess with him wasn't Atsushi, but Dazai. Yeah, fuck it.
He huffed again, again, and flexed his neck. "And you just came here? No questioning?"
"Well, you're the one asking that?" Atsushi huffed. "Sorry for the trouble. I'll just leave silently now, and we can forget it—"
"Wait."
Akutagawa didn't realize how he reached a hand out, nor how he took a step forward. He just remembered pausing after muttering that, seeing Atsushi's confused expression.
The man was so ready to just leave like that, without any consequence for disturbing Akutagawa like that, on Christmas Eve nonetheless.
Tch.
Like he would let him.
"I, uh," he started, not knowing exactly what to say. He folded his arms, eyebrows furrowing. "You can't just leave like that after disturbing me."
He could see Atsushi huffing tiredly. "Look, I'm really not looking for a fight, all right? Let me go, and we can both return to peace—"
"No! Wait," And of course he didn't want to sound desperate, so he had to make it look like Atsushi had to stay and step inside. But apparently, it didn't work.
Why did he want him to stay, anyway?
Well, whatever.
So he needed to try something else.
"I, um," he started once again, hand going to the back of his neck without his permission. Lower, damn it! "I cooked soup."
Atsushi kept staring confusedly, so Akutagawa huffed in distress. "I cooked soup, and I'm used to cooking meals for two people, but Gin is out today and—" He ruffled his own hair before raising his head and pretending to be perfectly fine once again. "I have soup for two people now, and I don't want any of it to go to waste. Also, trees can't eat soup, apparently."
When Atsushi blinked, Akutagawa had to fight the urge to slam the door right in his face and run back to his room to bury himself in his blankets and scream. Luckily, he was a good fighter, so he fought it well, standing perfectly still.
"Are you trying to invite me for dinner?" Atsushi asked, raising an eyebrow.
"No." Akutagawa said quickly. "I just have extra soup, and all the ingredients I use are worth so much money these days—"
"Oh my god, you really are trying to invite me for dinner." When Atsushi had the audacity to look shocked, Akutagawa was so close to snapping that he felt a shudder go through his spine.
"I just—" He stuttered, his words failing him. "Well, nevermind—"
But just as he was about to close the door shut again, Atsushi held the door and prevented it from closing.
Then he chuckled.
He fucking chuckled.
Oh, Akutagawa wanted to rip his ribs out so bad.
But just because he didn't want to leave a bloody body on his front door, he held back. Cleaning would be such trouble. It wasn't worth it, he decided.
Yep, that was the only reason.
"Okay, I'll come eat dinner with you."
And why the hell was his face blazing? He needed to slap himself, but he probably shouldn’t do that in front of the weretiger.
So he huffed, averting his eyes as he turned his head to the side. "Of course you will. You have no money nor the skills to eat dinner elsewhere, of course you will come and get your free meal."
When Atsushi outright laughed, Akutagawa needed so much self-control to just not close the door. "Just come inside already. It's getting cold here."
"Yeah, and did you just say 'trees can't eat soup'?"
"I didn't."
"You have a tree?"
"No."
"A Christmas tree?"
"No. Yes. Maybe. It's naked, I didn't decorate it."
"Oh, so you do have a tree!"
"Are you shutting up, or would you prefer me splitting you in half?"
Atsushi stepped inside as he laughed more, the plastic bags in his hand swaying and jumping. Akutagawa closed the door behind them, and he could not believe what the fuck he was doing.
It was clear this was a part of Dazai's not-so-funny schemes. But Akutagawa took Atsushi in, anyways.
He had extra soup. That was the one and only reason.
And maybe he could really make use of what was in those plastic bags—
Nope. None of that.
●○●
"Oh, wow," Atsushi said as Akutagawa led him to his kitchen, "You really do have a tree."
"I didn't buy it, okay?!" Akutagawa defended himself. "I came home one evening and it was just — standing in the middle of my room! And I couldn't throw it out, because—"
"Because?"
"Because—" He huffed. "Whatever. I just couldn't. So it's here now."
"Yeah, I can see that." Atsushi nodded, leaning back on the tree. "You really have a lanky tree."
"As I said, I did not buy it." Akutagawa folded his arms, raising his chin proudly. "Plus, it has a name."
"Name?" Atsushi raised an eyebrow, turning his head to Akutagawa to face him once again. "What is it?"
Akutagawa coughed into his hand. "Tree."
"Yeah, what's the tree's name?" Atsushi asked, still confused.
"It's Tree."
"I know it's a tree, you said it has a name. What's it's na—"
"Its name is Tree, damn it! Are you stupid?!" Akutagawa yelled, though it didn't really have a bite - he was just... A little embarrassed of his creativity, maybe.
"Its name is..." Both of Atsushi's eyebrows rose slowly as his lips fell agape. "Tree?"
Oh god, maybe Akutagawa shouldn't have mentioned it at all.
He huffed.
"Find a better name if you can!"
When Atsushi started laughing once again that day, Akutagawa thought he was really close to murdering someone in his own house, on Christmas Eve.
"Bet I can find a better name than Tree!" Atsushi stated, and Akutagawa slumped towards his counter.
"Fucking find one then. You talk all big but no action," he said, shaking his head from side to side. "I'm gonna pour us soup."
"Oh, what is it?" Atsushi trailed behind him, peeking behind his shoulder to take a look at the soup in his pot.
There was nothing special about it, really - but something about Atsushi coming behind him with slow steps and peeking his head near his in such close proximity to take a look at the soup Akutagawa had cooked and was offering him felt awkwardly intimate - and Akutagawa Ryuunosuke wasn't a man who was prepared for this type of romantic comedy Christmas movie setting, so he quickly spun around - but wrong move, as now he was face to face with his so-called mortal enemy.
Holding his breath for a single second, he slid to the side, getting out of Atsushi's sight before the latter could read the situation - which Akutagawa doubted he could, but anyways.
"Don't sneak up like that ever again!" he yelled, more frustrated with himself.
"Uh," Atsushi scratched the back of his head, "Okay...?"
Akutagawa huffed, catching his breath for a moment. "Your duty is to find a new name for Tree, okay? You don't have to look at the soup, you probably don't know what it is, anyways. I doubt your pocket could handle that rich of a plate."
It was silent for a moment, and Akutagawa thought he fucked up, but Atsushi showed a little smile and raised his hands apologetically, getting away.
"Okay." he said, no questioning.
So Akutagawa took a deep breath and went back to pouring soup in two bowls.
"I think we can name it something to do with Green... Kiwi?"
"You say green, and the first thing to come to your mind is a kiwi?" Akutagawa let out an ingenuine chuckle. "No, we can't name a plant another plant."
"Kiwi's also a bird, though... Hmm..." Atsushi put a hand on his chin, focused. "Apple? Nope, that's another plant... Cow?"
"Cow?" Akutagaw couldn't hold back a snort this time. "What kind of connection is that?"
"You know, cows eat grass, grass is green... Found it, Shiny Green! Nope, wait, nevermind." Atsushi sighed. "It really is hard to name a tree."
"I know, right?" Akutagawa said, placing the bowls on the table.
"Why are we naming it, anyways?" Atsushi asked, raising an eyebrow as he took a seat.
Akutagawa sat across him, shrugging. "I don't know. I thought that if it wanted to stay as a guest, it should have a name."
He regretted what he said a moment, later, thinking Atsushi would laugh and make fun of him - but the other nodded, utterly focused on his thoughts as he mumbled, "Makes sense..."
Well.
They were one of a kind.
Wait, what the hell—?
"And this thing smells absolutely delicious." Atsushi pulled the bowl in front of himself, lowering his head to sniff it like a ferocious cat who had been starved for a few days. "I didn't know you could cook. Thought you would fight with the ingredients to cook them faster."
"Tch. I'm a fighter, weretiger, not a monster." Akutagawa took a spoon as well, pulling his bowl. "Plus, I have a sister that I took care of by myself for a few years."
For a moment, he thought he saw a soft smile on Atsushi's face — no, disperse, disperse! Soft smile, begone! "Yeah," the man said nonetheless, "I know."
Akutagawa huffed, looking down at his bowl. "Enjoy or whatever, you're lucky there was extra."
"Yeah, yeah, thanks! And god bless," he said, digging in - or rather, drinking in the soup a second layer. He made a sound of approval in the back of his throat. "Yeah, surprisingly, you are a great cook."
Akutagawa took in a spoonful as well. "One learns to cook when they have to survive." Yeah, it /did/ taste great. "You're welcome."
"So after we finish those," Atsushi said in between taking spoonfuls, "Do you want to decorate Tree? You see, I did bring decorations with me."
Akutagawa paused for a moment. "Uh," he started, and stayed at that.
Yeah, he’d never decorated a Christmas tree, and wasn't planning to decorate one in his lifetime - but then again, he never thought he'd invite Atsushi inside his house willingly, let alone offering him his soup and have dinner with him.
Plus, this lanky ass tree has been standing in the middle of his house all naked for two days. Wasn't it inappropriate?
He might as well make it look a little bit better.
So he raised his head, meeting Atsushi's expectant eyes.
"Yeah," he muttered, "I guess."
He could not believe whatever the fuck he was saying.
Life brought him the most out-of-pocket things sometimes.
●○●
"So let me check what I have..."
After the dinner, and after putting the bowls in the dishwasher - Akutagawa had carried Tree to the living room with Atsushi following behind. Now Atsushi was rummaging through the plastic bags he had brought with himself as Akutagawa stood, arms folded, feet tapping on the ground.
"I have never decorated a Christmas tree, though. So don't expect me to be an expert."
Akutagawa raised an eyebrow. "You haven’t?"
Atsushi huffed, looking back at him from over his shoulder. "You forget that I didn't come from a castle with golden floors sometimes." He turned back to the bags. "Holidays weren't too lively in the orphanage I came from, including Christmas, of course."
And yeah, maybe not about the castle part, but Atsushi was right about how Akutagawa usually forgot where he came from.
In the past, at least. Now, though, he was more aware that their past had more common points than he previously thought.
"Yeah," he said, "Of course." He looked around, averting his eyes from Tree and Atsushi.
"I mean, celebrating holidays isn't really popular in Mafia, too, so I can't possibly judge you."
"Figured," Atsushi said simply.
Although Akutagawa wanted to make a snarky remark, he kept his mouth shut.
"All right, so here we have..." Atsushi started, putting things he found inside the bags onto the floor. "Ribbons, some tinsel, shiny ornaments, decorative lights - a star! Thank god, we have a star."
The things he put aside looked way too shiny and lively - which Akutagawa didn't really associate with his own house, but...
But then again, Gin would be happy, wouldn't she?
"The Star is the most important part, from what I heard," Atsushi said, standing up and extending his hand to showcase the star to Akutagawa. "You put this on top of the tree after you finish all the decorations."
Akutagawa nodded his head stiffly, arms still folded over his chest. "I don't know. If you say so."
Atsushi scratched the back of his head, smiling apologetically. "I mean, I never decorated it myself. That's what I heard from Ranpo-san in the office."
The man nodded once again, leaning down to the decorations resting on the ground. "Then let's hurry up. Tree has been waiting like this - all green and brown - for two days."
"Yeah," Atsushi said, chuckling lowly and taking a few of the shiny ornaments in his hands. "Let's do it, then, and see the so-talked partnership of us work perfectly on tree decorating as well."
"Uh, shut up." Though Akutagawa couldn't help the small smile creeping up his face.
As Atsushi placed the ornaments one by one on the tree - they were red, yellow, green (Seriously? Green?) and various other colors - Akutagawa tried to untangle the lights that were, very much, tangled.
"Give me a minute," he said as he stood up with the lights in his hands. He probably should've used his brain and untangled them one by one - but since he was Akutagawa, of course, he got frustrated after a while, trying to untangle it all by force, and getting his arms tangled in them while trying to not rip it off.
Well, fuck.
"Is everything okay over there?" Atsushi asked from the other side of the tree. He was standing on his tiptoes, tying an ornament to one of the higher branches.
"Yeah, just—"Akutagawa tried to answer him, pulling the lights to the sides and trying to untangle them from his arms. "Why the hell is this shit so tangly—?"
It was almost like a pair of earphones left in a pocket for some time. As he kept pulling on the lights, they just tangled more - causing his arms to get bound together.
He furrowed his eyebrows, trying to figure out how to get himself out of this mess as Atsushi walked over to his side, an eyebrow raised. "What is...?" the weretiger was about to ask before he saw how Akutagawa got himself tangled in the lights.
They stared at each other for a second before Atsushi burst out laughing, causing Akutagawa to grit his teeth.
"Shut up!" he said, pulling on the lights harder - maybe he should've just ripped them?
"Okay, okay—" Atsushi said in between his laughs, "Don't rip it off, wait—"
He walked towards Akutagawa and held onto his arms, causing him to stop pulling on them. Akutagawa paused, raising his head and staring at Atsushi with confused eyes.
"What are you—"
"I'm just trying to help, wait." Atsushi said, his laughter finally dying down. Then his expression turned gentle and, oh—
Akutagawa needed to stay strong for his knees to not give up on him.
Why—?
Because Atsushi looked all too invested in untangling his arms from the lights, expression way too soft for Akutagawa's liking.
Maybe he shouldn't have accepted it in the first place—?
But as Atsushi worked slowly to untangle his arms, decisions had already been made, and Akutagawa couldn't possibly go back in time and say no when Atsushi asked if he wanted to decorate the tree together.
He began to feel lightheaded.
Was it the way Atsushi's eyes looked so gentle? Was it the close proximity? Akutagawa could swear he was almost hearing Tree laugh and make fun of him.
Of course it would, it was the second time that day—
He didn't even notice he was holding his breath until Atsushi chuckled.
"Never thought I'd see the terrifying criminal Akutagawa Ryuunosuke tangled in shiny Christmas lights."
Akutagawa huffed.
"Never thought I'd have the absolute loser of a weretiger decorating my tree, in my house."
"I mean, you're practically the one who invited me, aren't you?" Atsushi laughed, and Akutagawa's nerves really should've been set on fire - instead, he snickered, a smile creeping up his face without permission.
"Maybe. That was just because I had extra soup, though."
"Mhm, and we're here now because I had two plastic bags full of unused Christmas decorations."
Akutagawa sighed. "Are you done yet? How much longer is it going to take?"
"Almost done, wait a second—" Atsushi moved his hands delicately, untangling the lights fully from Akutagawa's arms and catching them before letting them fall to the ground. "Here."
Akutagawa flexed his arms. Finally he was free of those annoying lights. "I'm never touching the lights again," he said, "You put them on."
"Yeah, of course." Atsushi chuckled before pouting. "What a pity I didn't think of taking a picture of you tangled in the lights..."
Akutagawa felt his face heating up, though it might've been just an illusion. "I'd rip off your arms before you could do that."
"Sure."
He huffed. "What are we gonna do now?"
"I think I won't leave the lights or the tinsel or the ribbons to you," Atsushi said, smiling sheepishly. "You put on the ornaments while I work with the lights."
"Yeah, okay, but if you get bound in any of those I'll make fun of you for the rest of your life."
Okay, so—
Akutagawa regretted saying that a moment later, because his words had an indication of, at least, keeping in touch with Atsushi for the rest of his life, which definitely wasn't in his plans, but—
Well. Words got out of his mouth once.
Plus, Atsushi didn't seem to notice it - he was simply humming an unfamiliar tune and putting the lights on the tree.
So Akutagawa took a few shiny ornaments from the ground, getting ready to tie them onto the branches.
"You know what," Atsushi started out of nowhere, having finally put on the lights. "I think we could've been great friends if we'd met under different circumstances."
Akutagawa's first instinct was fight or flight, including making a snarky remark or shutting Atsushi up completely and believe it or not but he was, usually, a man who acted right on his instincts without thinking much - but here, right at the moment, he somehow managed to push them aside and simply stare at the other.
"...What do you mean?" He asked when he made sure he wouldn't stutter.
"You know, if you weren't in the Mafia and if I wasn't your mortal enemy and if we didn't meet by trying to kill each other and all that stuff." He furrowed his eyebrows after saying that, mimicking Akutagawa's gesture. "Never thought I'd say that, wow."
"Yeah, never thought you'd say that, either." Akutagawa replied, rolling his eyes and tying another ornament on a branch.
But Atsushi was the braver one between them - because Akutagawa would never, ever admit that Atsushi was a chill guy - nor would he admit that—
All right, dear brain, you really could stop right there.
As his mind swam into dangerous territory, Akutagawa shook his head from side to side, simply putting on more ornaments.
"Look," he said, one of the decorations hanging caught his eyes. He raised the ornament. "This is a tiger."
Atsushi looked at his flat expression first before moving his eyes to the decoration Akutagawa was holding. It was a mini-sized tiger head, black and white, just like Atsushi's tiger form.
He huffed in fake annoyance. "Can't believe he put this thing in there..." he said, shaking his head. Then his eyes caught something else in the plastic bag as Akutagawa still held up the mini tiger. He leaned down to grab it.
"And look what we have here," he said, raising the thing. "A dragon."
It was a mini-sized, cute-looking black dragon that sort of resembled Rashoumon.
And he could understand the tiger - but /why/ did they buy the dragon?
Considering it was Dazai who gave him the plastic bags, it was probably deliberate, so Atsushi didn't dwell on it too much.
After staring at each other with the decorations in their hands for a few seconds, Akutagawa broke the silence by snorting, which caused Atsushi to chuckle as well - and soon, they both were bursting out laughing.
Honestly? Akutagawa hadn't laughed that much in a long while, which probably put a strain on his facial muscles. There wasn't even anything that funny, yet he couldn't help but feel all giddy inside for some reason.
Well.
It was all dangerous territory, which he just might be a little closer - and a little more comfortable to step in at the moment.
They continued to decorate Tree a little while more, and after a few minutes, they were only left with the star.
Atsushi has been staring at the star for a few moments now, hand on his chin, thinking. Since neither of them could be considered tall, he wasn't sure how they were going to put the star on.
"Give it to me," Akutagawa extended his hand, "I'm taller."
Atsushi huffed. "By two centimeters," but gave the ornament to him anyway.
Akutagawa stood on his tiptoes, straining his arms and body as much as he could - yet he couldn't reach the top of the tree, where the star was supposed to be.
"Only if there was something to step on..." he mumbled to himself, looking around the room.
Atsushi seemed to perk up at that. "Found it," he said, leaning down a little and patting his back. "Hop on."
To say Akutagawa stared in horror would be an understatement.
"Oh, come on," Atsushi rolled his eyes, "Don't act like I haven't carried you on my back before. You know, that time when you called me your horse—"
"Okay! Shut! Shut your mouth! Shut up!" Akutagawa yelled, waving both of his hands in the air aggressively. He huffed. "I can just go grab Rashoumon to put the star on?!"
"Can't wait that long!" Atsushi said, whining like a baby. "Hop on!"
Shaking his head from side to side, Akutagawa exhaled, giving up.
He might've been a stubborn individual, but if he had a rival in that competition, it was Atsushi himself.
So he walked reluctantly, looking at Atsushi and raising an eyebrow as if he was trying to find a way to get on his back. Atsushi leaned down a little more at noticing that.
Then he jumped onto Atsushi's back, hands locking on his shoulders as he tried to get himself up, legs nearly wrapping around his torso. To say Atsushi had gotten slightly stronger wouldn't be a lie; as he was half-turned into a tiger the last time he had carried him, yet he was lifting him up with ease now in his fully human form.
Or maybe Akutagawa had just lost weight. This or that.
He held onto Atsushi's shoulder with one hand while holding the star tightly in his other as he raised in the air, getting closer to Tree's tip.
Whoever sent this tree to him was going to hell.
Or heaven.
No. Hell.
"A little to the right," he muttered, urging Atsushi to step left. "No, my right—!"
"Our rights are the same!"
"That's left, dumbass!"
"Oh," Atsushi mumbled, confused. "Sorry." Then he stepped two to the right.
Akutagawa huffed in fake annoyance. "Yeah, of course. And everyone thinks I'll be unstoppable partners with someone who can't differentiate right from left..."
"It was just a mistake!"
"Whatever."
And so, Akutagawa quickly reached up, putting the star on the top.
"Done."
Atsushi lowered him to the ground as Akutagawa jumped, backing away a few steps to take a better look at the tree. Atsushi followed him.
They stared at Tree for a few seconds in silent union. "Looks great," Atsushi said, then; breaking it.
"Tch, decent." Akutagawa said. "Could only be that much with your cheap ass decorations. At least Tree has natural beauty."
"Hey! Don't act like you bought Tree yourself now, you even denied its existence before I saw it for myself."
Akutagawa whipped his head to the side proudly. "Tch."
It was Atsushi's turn to huff in annoyance, then.
Akutagawa looked at him from the corner of his eyes, stealing a glance from that annoyed expression. He held back a chuckle.
"Do you like cupcakes?" he found himself blurting out a moment later, not even sure what he was thinking.
The fuck?
Atsushi perked up an eyebrow. "Cupcakes?"
"Yeah," Akutagawa started, "I baked for me and Gin the other day, but since she's gone overseas—" He huffed. The same scenario again? "—there's... Too many of them left."
He was pretty sure Atsushi wouldn't believe him and would leave this time - because why even was he here in the first place?
But then Atsushi quirked up a smile with the bat of his mouth, and Akutagawa almost, almost held his breath.
"What flavor?" he asked sheepishly.
That always hungry animal.
He huffed. "Chocolate and strawberry."
"Well," Atsushi started, doing a little spin around. "I can never say no to free food, even if it's from my so-called mortal enemy. So! Let's go get those cupcakes!"
And of course he was still hungry.
What a terrible mortal enemy Akutagawa would be, if he didn't offer his said enemy his cupcakes?
"Come with me," he said, and walked towards the kitchen with Atsushi trailing - almost waddling - behind.
●○●
Akutagawa noticed that Atsushi's favourite flavor was, surprisingly, strawberry as he started eating from them and yeah, he ate a lot.
He couldn't say he shared the same thoughts, as he liked everything with chocolate a little bit better, but it was okay as well - he used to bake both flavors just because Gin liked them equally as a kid, and still does.
The second thing he noticed was that, Atsushi really liked cupcakes.
Akutagawa couldn't blame him. As a kid, he could barely get his hands on one, once or twice a year - it was probably similar for Atsushi.
Still, while Akutagawa abandoned sugar fully, Atsushi seemed to embrace it. Just watching him eat even made Akutagawa start to get hungry, which resulted in him digging into his own cupcakes.
"Those are really great," Atsushi said in between bites, "You're a really great cook and baker, huh?"
Akutagawa shrugged. "Gin used to beg me for these when we were kids. I guess it developed from there."
And there it was, that soft glint on Atsushi's face, threatening to pierce through him once again.
He couldn't bear it, yet there was something so alluring about that soft expression on Atsushi's face.
"I'm still not sure if you're a great person," Atsushi admitted honestly, looking down at his hands. "But you sure are a good brother."
Well.
That certainly made something flutter in Akutagawa's stomach.
"And I doubt that anyone that is pure evil is capable of being a good brother."
Akutagawa coughed into his hand.
Being a good person has never been one of his interests, really. It still wasn't, and Akutagawa doubted it could ever be when the world showed him no kindness and such.
And yet.
Atsushi looking at him with warmer eyes?
Oh, Akutagawa did not want to admit things to himself, but thoughts were running around in his mind, and he couldn't stop the beating of his heart against his ribs.
"You—" he started, coughing into his hand once again. "You should go, I think. The Agency will get worried."
Atsushi chuckled. "Oh, I'm pretty sure they won't be. They all probably already know where I am."
"But it's getting close to midnight," Akutagawa said, gaze darting around the floor. "Shouldn't you go celebrate Christmas with them?"
"Hmm..." Atsushi put a hand on his chin, appearing to be thinking - though Akutagawa doubted he was. "I can always celebrate New Years with them."
Akutagawa huffed, slightly shaking his head. "You should go and—"
"But you're lonely."
Pause.
Okay, pause.
Akutagawa's brain practically short-circuited as he stated at Atsushi with wide eyes, full of shock.
"I'm..."
The surprise faded into confusion after a moment.
"...what?"
Atsushi smiled softly at him, face tilting to the side at an angle that made all the joints in Akutagawa's skull hurt and all his ribs shake.
He was what?
"Lonely." Atsushi said, emphasizing his point.
And it was silence that enveloped them for a few more seconds. To say Akutagawa didn't like silence would be an understatement.
He hated silence.
He despised it.
And Atsushi sounded so understanding, he looked just so empathetic- that it made Akutagawa want to vomit.
Despite never liking silence, hating it, being terrified of it - Akutagawa had never let anyone, anyone - that included Gin - hear the sound of his heartbeat, to hear his thoughts, to know how painful it was for him to sit in silence.
Yet there Atsushi was, seeing right through him as always - because he always did. Always.
It made Akutagawa want to tear him to pieces
And yet, and yet - it helped his mind to keep busy. Atsushi kept his mind busy, so it wasn't silent - nor complete darkness.
Akutagawa despised it.
It was stepping far away from his comfort zone, which consisted of areas terrifying to him - silence and darkness.
Everyone he lost was taken from him in silence.
And so, sitting in his home all alone, in utter silence felt like everything he was left with was gone.
It felt like Gin was gone.
Akutagawa knew she wasn't. Knew she was perfectly fine, fully capable of defending herself and taking care of her missions - but god did it feel terrible to sit in silence without her voice filling the room.
No one knew his worries nor his worst fears, and even though Akutagawa wasn't sure, he would definitely say this was one of them. His fear of silence or loneliness didn't develop by itself, it was always there, deeply rooted in his heart due to the fear of losing the one person he didn't want to lose.
No one knew, no one even came close - but Atsushi.
Because, of course, Atsushi.
"You don't like solitude, Akutagawa," Atsushi mumbled silently, his small smile still present, only to be seen with a careful look. "Nor do you like being isolated."
He chuckled. "Extra soup might've been a good reason, though, I must give you that. No food should go to waste, ever."
He was aware of how Atsushi was trying to lighten the mood back up, but Akutagawa was panicking.
Why was he panicking over such a simple thing?
He didn't remember acknowledging his fear of silence or its reasons before - was that why he was panicking? Was it unexplored territory?
What was he going to do with that now?
Such a weakness shouldn't have existed.
"Don't look all stressed like that," he heard Atsushi saying, and when he raised his head from where his gaze was on the floor, he met heterochromia eyes. "I never like being alone, either." He chuckled. "Trust me. I would accept anyone fighting near me just to not be alone - even you."
It was the light-hearted part, Akutagawa knew. There was no real bite in his words.
Atsushi sighed. "Guess that's what gets to people like us who grew up with the threat of isolation. Such fear of loneliness." When Akutagawa opened his mouth to get back at him, to make a remark, to deny; Atsushi looked at him with such understanding that he had to swallow every word he got around his tongue.
"I believe it's not a weakness, though," Atsushi said, smiling at him. Smiling at him. Smiling. "So don't beat yourself up over that."
Akutagawa was not - okay?
Maybe he was a little overwhelmed by the realization, is all.
"But if you seriously want me to go, like, for your own sake; I can leave." He sighed, flexing his neck from side to side. "Just... Didn't want you to be alone on Christmas. I used to hate that in the orphanage."
Akutagawa raised an eyebrow. "Hate what?"
Atsushi made a sour expression. "They used to lock me up in a room during holidays - like they did most times. I don't know, I just hated that. The room was so silent that whatever word I said always came back to me." He chuckled, though it was clearly void of any amusement - just full of bitterness. "I started to hate my own voice after a while."
And oh, how much Akutagawa related to that.
He couldn't help but say, "Me too."
He wasn't sure how he would explain, or if he would explain at all; but thankfully, Atsushi didn't want an explanation from him, just offered him his genuine, understanding expression.
And what other option did Akutagawa have other than to crumble beneath those beautiful eyes?
"You can..." He coughed into his hand once again, averting his eyes. "You can stay, I guess."
He did not want to see Atsushi's expression at his response, but he also absolutely needed to see it, and his needs outdid his wants, as always.
So he turned his head to the side, welcomed by Atsushi's shining eyes and his bright smile; too bright for Akutagawa's world, a terrifying but not unwelcome change in the darkness he had forced himself into.
Maybe celebrating Christmas wasn't that bad of an idea.
It was a small gesture; a silent and gentle one yet Akutagawa couldn't help but jump as Atsushi's warm fingers touched his ice cold ones.
The tree's lights illuminated them from behind.
Akutagawa didn't pull his hand back.
Yeah, it was new territory. One that looked awfully familiar yet foreign at the same time.
Maybe Akutagawa wasn't scared anymore, or maybe he was just some crazy man who liked to go on adventures he had no idea where it led to.
(He was not like that, he knew. It was just that the road he was choosing to walk on was warm and full of annoying noises that could, would, keep him sane.)
If they fell asleep after midnight near Tree, side by side, hand in hand, just/ close enough to touch but not enough to share body heat; no they didn't.
At least, Akutagawa wasn't sure he was ready to acknowledge that when Atsushi's hand was way too warm compared to his, and when his snores saved him from the utter silence he was so afraid of.
He would get there, though. Just not at the moment.
For that Christmas, it was enough.
●○● ☆ ●○●
"Dazai, that is not ethical."
"Since when have I cared about ethics, Yosano-sensei?" Dazai exclaimed as he spun around on his chair, a monitor in front of him, phone ringing.
The doctor just sighed, shook her head from side to side, and left him be.
The phone got picked up after a moment. "Dazai-san?"
"Yo, Gin-chan!" Dazai started, voice all too giddy. "Seems like our plan has succeeded."
"Really?" The assassin sounded like she didn't really believe him, so Dazai hummed.
"Yeah, I'll send you a picture now!"
A picture of two people with complementing, black and white hair colors sleeping side to side, hand in hand appeared on Gin's phone's screen a moment later; and she had to apologize to Hirotsu for using swear words near him.
Akutagawa never realized the tree named Tree he counted as a friend was a foe; nor did he ever find the camera hidden in it, recording his every move from the moment it stepped inside.