Karma is a Weasel

by mobbuu

Summary:

When Dong Jun gets a personal invitation to Taylor Swift's Eras Tour, Fei Luo is shocked and is dragged into going with him. Fei Luo, oblivious to mortal events, has never attended a concert before. After receiving a concerning email alongside a strange statement from his husband, Fei Luo suspects that the concert will not go as smoothly as he expected.

Notes:

Nan Chan enjoyers, enjoy your food. I wrote this for my swiftie roommate. Sometimes there will be a link in story, don't worry it is just a link to a picture/gif.

As the day came to an end, Fei Luo found himself lounging in his palace and getting ready to indulge in another jug of wine. He had actually done a crazy amount of work today. Those ghost guards always nagged him about doing his work, and he knew that they were always talking behind his back about how lazy he was. 

 

Fei Luo scoffed at the thought. They must be eating their words right at that moment.

 

However, he did not get a chance to relax for long before Dong Jun suddenly strode into the room.

 

“A-Luo, we are going to a Taylor Swift concert.”

 

Fei Luo would normally be jump-scared by such an intrusion if not for the fact that Dong Jun had been randomly coming and going in and out of his house for the past few thousand years. They were married now, so it was now a bit more socially acceptable for him to barge in like that. 

 

Socially acceptable or not, Dong Jun had always been an individual unable to be constrained and no form of security in the Underworld could ever keep him out; eventually Fei Luo stopped being surprised by his visits and began to anticipate them.

 

“Oh no, why did you say ‘we’?” Fei Luo immediately began to look aggrieved. 

 

Dong Jun had been in his Taylor Swift era for the past year. He knew that Dong Jun had followed the growth of that artist since her debut but she recently blew up again and he had joined in on the obsessed mob.

 

It was a common occurrence for phases to come and go among immortal beings. Dong Jun was far older than Taylor Swift and would inevitably grow out of his newest phase in what would seem like a blink of an eye to any higher power, but it certainly was a strong obsession even if it was a mere small portion of their lives. 

 

Even some souls in the Underworld and his very own ghost guards had started talking about Taylor, no doubt thanks to a certain someone’s influence! Fei Luo could handle one beauty talking about a mortal celebrity but it became a bit of an issue for him when his entire domain was blasting the same songs in the streets. 

 

It got to the point where the Underworld’s ghost guards would be constantly listening to Taylor Swift songs as if it were the only music they had ever heard. As the entities that retrieved newly dead souls from the Mortal Realm and brought them down to the Underworld, they were naturally exposed to mortal culture. It was not a matter of Taylor Swift being the only artist to leave an impact on them, but that Dong Jun had ever so graciously gifted copies of all of her albums to the Underworld residents. 

 

It was very rare for them to receive new recordings to listen to, which was how the ghost guards all ended up being completely infatuated with Taylor Swift and her music; they had all simultaneously entered a new phase. Even at the Wangquan River ferry crossing queue, the ghost guard in charge of calling names would have Taylor Swift playing in the background. Fei Luo swore that he could even hear her voice reverberating lightly throughout the halls of his palace while he was busy judging souls in his court. 

 

A day or two was fine, but Fei Luo was starting to get tired of the same songs being played on repeat.

 

The worst part was that Fei Luo could not tell Dong Jun that he was beginning to grow tired of Taylor Swift; it would surely break his poor heart!

 

“Because you’re going with me,” Dong Jun breezily answered. He was snooping through some of the things in the room, either trying to find something to amuse himself with or trying to find something to prepare for the concert. “You won’t believe it. I invited Zui Shan Seng to come with me, and the old fart actually dared to flat-out reject me. Hurt, I was even so gracious as to extend the offer to dear Yining, who promptly slammed the door in my face. Fei Luo, you are my last hope here.”

 

‘Why was I not the first one you asked ?’ Fei Luo couldn’t help the dejected thought that flashed through his mind. Sure, he didn’t really like Taylor Swift much or get the hype, but that didn’t mean that he wasn’t a little hurt that Dong Jun had not come to him first.

 

“How did you even get tickets to the event? And whose money did you use?” 

 

“Now now, before you get mad, just know that Taylor personally invited me.”

 

“Really?” Fei Luo eyed him both wearily and skeptically. Knowing Dong Jun, he could genuinely be telling the truth but he could also just be lying. In the past, Dong Jun would always try to coerce him into joining in on his personal missions and plans, and more than half of the time he would conveniently leave out any contextual information that would let Fei Luo know what he was really getting into. 

 

Thankfully, his words seemed to be truthful this time; Dong Jun slid an envelope that was clearly addressed to himself into Fei Luo’s hand. It had already been opened but the contents had been stuffed back inside.

 

Intrigued, he tentatively slid the letter out and began to read.

 

‘Dong Jun,

 

I wanted to thank you for the weed, edibles, and the packet of white stuff that you graciously gifted me last Sunday. I tried them last night and was completely blown away. You are a valued friend and I thought I would show you my thanks by inviting you and a friend to my upcoming tour! I will be coming to Zhongdu in two weeks and would like to see you there. Those tickets have the best view in the venue (trust me, I tried them myself). 

 

I hope to see you after the concert. I am looking forward to chatting with you again.

 

Hugs and kisses,

Taylor Swift’

 

Fei Luo’s jaw was practically on the floor.

 

“You… gave drugs to Taylor Swift?”

 

Dong Jun only smiled as he fanned himself. “I treat my idols right.”

 

Fei Luo was speechless but it did not take him too long to recover from his shock. Dong Jun would often do whatever he wanted anyway so it would not surprise him if he wanted to send Taylor Swift drugs. The question was whether Dong Jun expected such an outcome and knew that his celebrity would love it if he sent her free drugs; it would be a sure-fast way to get good seats to a concert. Fei Luo heard that modern mortal events were quite expensive, so he was happy that none of his funds seemed destined to go to Taylor Swift. Besides, she seemed to be happy about it, so he assumed that there was no harm done.

 

Dong Jun eventually started to rustle around in more of his stuff, saying that he needed to find things to prepare his outfit with, even though the concert was still a few weeks away.

 

Deciding to take advantage of Dong Jun’s company, Fei Luo pulled out his laptop computer. He figured that it would be smart if he checked his emails and messages while Dong Jun was around so that he could help him navigate any tricky technical conundrums.

 

Fei Luo hated using technology, as he could never seem to figure it out on his own. When technology started becoming more and more prevalent in the Mortal Realm, those in Heaven also started to make use of it, and it slowly spread to the rest of the Divine Realm. The Underworld unfortunately had an impossibly poor internet connection for the longest time, so Fei Luo did not have to worry about learning how to use advanced technology until much much later. The internet connection may be slightly better now, but the technology was really too confusing!!

 

Luckily, Dong Jun taught him how to do most of the basic things on his computer and phone to the point where he could mostly manage on his own with minimal difficulties.

 

Fei Luo scrolled through the random emails he sometimes got; they stemmed from school advertisements to store deals to random junk he could hardly make sense of. 

 

There was almost no point to him actually having an email given that his friends and family would usually just physically visit him if they needed something, but he learned that a big part of being on the internet was signing up for various things which would usually require the input of an email address. Fei Luo had inputted his email on a few different web pages, which soon led to an influx of emails being sent his way. Somewhere on the internet, he had read that it was wise to check one’s email often, so he made sure to check his inbox at least once every time he was on his computer.

 

A sudden ‘ping’ noise sounded as a new email appeared at the very top of his inbox.

 

Fei Luo groaned in mild despair. He was nearly done reading and responding to all the other useless people trying to sell him stuff, and now he had to deal with another! What was even more ridiculous was the name that popped up on his screen next to the new message. He scoffed with newly blossomed annoyance and hastily clicked on the rando’s email.

 

Scooter Braun??!? Was Fei Luo reading that right? 

 

The email was displayed before him, and the sender’s name was clearly spelled out as ‘Scooter Braun’. Perhaps it was just a bizarre brand name or something.

 

The contents of the email were about as pathetic as the name. Fei Luo wondered how such an individual even got his email in the first place and what they could possibly be trying to send him this time. He really needed to stop signing up for every website he clicked on.

 

‘Fei Luo,

 

The time for justice is upon us all. Stick with me as we take back all that Taylor Swift has stolen. Defamation will not be ignored.

 

Scooter Braun’

 

Somewhere in the middle of that, Scooter had added one of those blue words where if you clicked it, it took you to a page that must be his website. 

 

Fei Luo snorted. What a sorry excuse for a man! He did not know what Taylor Swift had done to the scooter, but he did know that a lot of beauties enjoyed her songs; most importantly, Dong Jun was acquainted with Taylor Swift!! Sure, the songs were annoying when they were played nonstop, but it made beauties happy. So, what interest would Fei Luo have in helping someone ruin all of that? It simply made no sense.

 

He hastily wrote a response to Scooter and sent it out, muttering, “Seriously, what kind of a name is Scooter…”

 

But the Underworld seemed to get impossibly colder after that sentence. Cold sweat formed on Fei Luo’s back as he felt Dong Jun’s presence behind him. The onslaught of oppressive energy was reminiscent of Dong Jun’s true form. He recognized that his true form was on the brink of leaking out!!!

 

“ Delete it, now.”

 

Poor Fei Luo could only let out a meek ‘okay’ and hastily clicked delete on the entire email thread with trembling fingers. He suddenly wanted nothing to do with any scooters. 

 

Luckily, after seeing the email get deleted with his own two eyes, Dong Jun seemed to calm down and the oppressive aura slowly began to ebb away, yet the scent lingered still like a threatening phantom.

 

“To think Scooter Braun himself actually has the nerve to go around sending emails now. Unbelievable.” Dong Jun huffed and walked away. 

 

Fei Luo could not bring himself to turn his head and watch him go. His figure remained frozen in place as his racing heart slowly recovered from the sudden stress it had endured. “Um….. who is Scooter and why… is his name so peculiar?”

 

“It’s just a simple nickname he picked up and goes by,” Dong Jun must not have much to say about Scooter given that he did not answer in long paragraph format.

 

“Are you acquainted with him like you are Taylor Swift? I think he knows her too.”

 

“Are you asking me if I also gave drugs to Scooter Braun?”

 

Fei Luo was actually not even thinking about the drugs!!! Dong Jun had to travel around annually to start spring anyway, so Fei Luo thought that maybe Scooter was an individual he could have run into along the way. Dong Jun also clearly had an interest in different cultures given his taste in music from around the globe. 

 

“No, I just assumed that you knew him because of your…reaction to him.”

 

Fei Luo was still a little afraid to look at Dong Jun in case his true form was out, but when he took a little peek he was relieved to see that it was just his normal appearance.

 

Dong Jun, on the other hand, seemed to be paying little attention anyway; rummaging through the storage was clearly more interesting to him.

 

He laughed humorlessly. “He’s just some rat that tried to ruin Taylor’s shining career. Imagine thinking you would succeed at that. He clearly has some sort of evil constitution; it would not surprise me if he were on the same level as an evil spirit.”

 

Fei Luo did not know how he could possibly respond to that!! Dong Jun used to be considered an evil spirit too!!!!

 

Luckily for him, there was no need for him to respond, as Dong Jun seemed to be lost in his own thoughts. 

 

“Yes. I’m going to slay so much in that outfit.”

 

Fei Luo’s heart stopped. Dong Jun wanted to do WHAT ? Was he talking about the concert? Surely Dong Jun did not have plans to massacre everyone at the concert he was invited to—not in front of his idol. Unless… his idol was his target as well.

 

He felt like his head was about to explode!! If Dong Jun slayed at the concert, which would probably be filled to the brim with the many Taylor Swift fans in Zhongdu, then that would mean so much unnecessary work for Fei Luo!! He had to clarify what Dong Jun meant.

 

Fei Luo turned his head cautiously toward Dong Jun again. “Um… by ‘slay’ you don’t mean at the concert, do you?”

 

Dong Jun looked over at him incredulously. “Don’t try to be funny. Of course I do. I’m sure I won’t be the only one but I’ll certainly be doing it the best.”

 

WHAT ? Could it be that some other swifties were in on Dong Jun’s plan already?? Just how many wanted Taylor Swift dead? What if she was not even the target and she herself was a slayer too?! Fei Luo’s head was spinning with all the many possibilities of what would really go down at the concert.

 

“Anyways. You have nothing here that is of interest to me,” Dong Jun abruptly changed the topic, standing up while Fei Luo remained in his internally panicked state. “I suppose I’ll have to look for clothes elsewhere. Perhaps I’ll buy some in the mortal realm.”

 

“You’re leaving?” 

 

Ever the perceptive individual, Dong Jun immediately recognized his internal turmoil and began to backtrack.

 

“What‘s the matter? You’re looking at me like you just witnessed me slaughter an entire village.”

 

Fei Luo felt like he was going to witness just that at the concert!! He did not like being excluded from Dong Jun’s plans or anything but perhaps it would be better if he was left out of such a shenanigan altogether; he didn’t approve of the paperwork it would generate anyway. Besides, he had already been initially excluded since he was not asked first.

 

But how was Fei Luo supposed to express his disapproval of such plans to Dong Jun? Every soul knew what a weak man he was when it came to Dong Jun. There was of course also the chance that his partner had no nefarious plans and genuinely intended to peacefully attend the event and enjoy some music, but Fei Luo had his doubts. 

 

Doubt aside, there was no way he could turn down Dong Jun when he clearly needed someone to go with him. As husbands, they were supposed to be supportive of each other, which is why in Fei Luo’s opinion he should have been the very first one Dong Jun asked to help him out. 

 

So, whether or not Dong Jun wanted to go to a concert or secretly cause mischief, Fei Luo could only go along with it to make him happy.

 

“Huh??? Oh, no I was just surprised that you were leaving so soon. You just got here.”

 

Dong Jun only stared at him for a short moment before suddenly laughing.

 

“Do you miss me already? I came to tell you about the concert and look for things for my outfit, but the collection here is not sufficient, so I have to go away again for a little bit.”

 

“Right.” Fei Luo did not really understand why Dong Jun needed to put so much thought into an outfit. What mortal event warranted so much thought? “Just don’t do anything too crazy up there.”

 

If Dong Jun was planning on slaying in the Mortal Realm, he hoped that he could at least keep it to a minimum.

 

“Why so little faith in me?” Dong Jun drew nearer to Fei Luo and caressed his face, his thumb brushing against his cheekbone affectionately. “I can’t get too crazy before the concert.”

 

Fei Luo was, naturally, flustered out of his mind that such a beautiful face was so close to his. No matter how many years they had been married, he would probably never get over such an ethereal appearance. But wait, just how crazy was Dong Jun planning to get at the concert? He hoped the killing spree would not be as intense as it seemed it would be.

 

Dong Jun only laughed before pulling him into a brief kiss . 

 

Even though it did not last long at all, it was still heart-stopping for Fei Luo. His poor soul had barely recovered from the arrival of Dong Jun’s true form, it could not handle another hit.

 

“I’ll see you later,” Dong Jun murmured. He then simply drew away and directly exited the palace. 

 

Fei Luo swore he saw a sultry look pass over Dong Jun’s eyes before he left. A look like that was enough to make something stir within Fei Luo, and he began to anticipate Dong Jun’s return. 

 

Left alone, he could only wait and do his own thing.

 

Waiting aside, Fei Luo was a little nervous to go back to his emails. He had just received quite a number of shocks to his soul; if he went back to his inbox, there was a chance he could get an email from an otherworldly beauty of some sort that would send his soul out of commission.

 

Then again, the advice on the internet clearly said to check his email often, so he supposed that it did not hurt to give it a little look before calling it a day. 

 

Turning on his computer again, he was not surprised to see new emails already. He got emails quite frequently, so it really was a drag to have to read them all.

 

What did surprise him was that the cursed name had reappeared in his inbox: Scooter Braun. 

 

Fei Luo nearly had a heart attack when he saw it. He clearly remembered clicking delete on the email!!! Why was it back??

 

Before Fei Luo could consider Dong Jun’s theory about Scooter Braun being an evil spirit, he suddenly remembered that he had actually replied to the email before he deleted it; perhaps Scooter had responded.

 

Fei Luo knew that he should just delete the email and close his computer. He could still feel the prickling sensation of nervous sweat on his back from Dong Jun’s reaction to the mere mention of that name. Engaging with Scooter Braun would only bring him trouble.

 

That being said, Fei Luo did not see the harm in simply…reading what Scooter had to say. He had no intention of responding, but he was sure to pass away from curiosity if he did not at least see what Scooter had to say for himself.

 

Making up his mind to just take a look, he clicked on the email thread.

 

Fei Luo’s own response to Scooter’s initial email was displayed at the top. It crudely and simply read:

 

‘You have a lot of pain coming to you if you think it is wise to ruin something that beauties love. Be a man and let it go.’

 

He did send that response before he knew about Dong Jun’s possible plans to commit murder at the concert, perhaps Taylor Swift was actually a bad influence. Scooter’s response to Fei Luo seemed to back up that theory, although it still seemed a bit odd:

 

‘Fei Luo, what you do not understand is that Taylor Swift has ruined me. She has slandered my name, turning people against me and stealing my money. Now the world doesn’t remember Scooter Braun as a hero but as a scorned villain. You must join me in defeating Taylor before she brings harm to other shining stars.’

 

Fei Luo was at a loss for words. Was Taylor Swift really a villain? Now he really did not know what to believe. First, Dong Jun planned to slay at her concert, and now he learned that Taylor Swift was slandering some pathetic man named Scooter. 

 

Although Scooter’s words made him a little nervous, there was likely some reason behind them. Perhaps Taylor Swift being evil made sense, otherwise, there was no clear reason for Dong Jun to want to randomly kill. 

 

He could not stop himself from frantically writing a response to the email:

 

‘What are you talking about?? I do not understand. Is this why my husband wants to slay at the concert?’

 

Scooter’s response appeared within a few minutes:

 

‘He wants to slay, does he? He is just like every other foolish Taylor supporter, following her and treating her as a God. He has been blinded by her influence and can not be helped. Fei Luo, stand with me and fight back against Taylor Swift.’

 

Well, now Fei Luo was just mad. Nobody had the right to ever talk about Dong Jun like that, much less some sad man named Scooter.

 

He could not help himself from shooting back one final response, fingers smashing against the keyboard angrily:

 

‘Are you serious? Do not ever talk about him like that, you ugly wretch, or I swear your next life will be filled with unlimited pain and suffering. Why should I take from beauties that obviously enjoy Taylor Swift? Learn to focus on what really matters, Scooter. Get out of my inbox.’

 

With that, he slammed his computer shut, still shaking in anger. 

 

Few had the nerve to utter such ugly words about Dong Jun. Thinking about it carefully, it must be due to the fact that Scooter had no idea what Dong Jun looked like. Perhaps he would be a little more smart with his words if he had.

 

Fei Luo unfortunately knew what Scooter looked like, though. He had seen a giant picture of his face on his website, and he did not like what he saw at all .

 

Scooter’s last response did not even make any sense to Fei Luo. What did Dong Jun slaying at the concert have to do with supporting Taylor Swift? Perhaps it was just a common hobby of swifties to want to murder, or perhaps everyone just says they are going to but never follow through. It was all very confusing to Fei Luo.

 

One thing was certain, there was no way he could ever listen to the nonsensical words of Scooter Braun. He was going to go to Taylor’s concert with Dong Jun no matter what.

 

———————————

 

A few weeks later, it was the day of the concert. Dong Jun and Fei Luo had arrived at the location of the venue and observed the obvious crowd.

 

Everywhere he looked, Fei Luo saw a sea of swifties, all there to see Taylor Swift. Every swiftie was wearing some kind of merch or defining feature to signify their support for Taylor. The most significant thing was that they were all wearing some sort of bracelets and seemed to even be exchanging with each other. Even Dong Jun was wearing the bracelets, being the massive swiftie that he was.

 

Fei Luo was already starting to question his sanity. Why were the fans interacting so much with each other? He wondered if this was normal for concerts; being that he had never been to one before, he had no idea.

 

“What is the point of this? I thought this was supposed to be a concert.”

 

Dong Jun just sighed, “You wouldn’t get it. It’s part of the girlhood—we have to trade friendship bracelets.”

 

Before Fei Luo could question what girlhood was supposed to mean, Dong Jun was already starting to walk over the closest group of swifties and Fei Luo had no choice but to follow him.

 

“Oh my god, hey ladies,” Dong Jun greeted the swifties.

 

“Hey girl!!!” they all responded in unison, giving Fei Luo a bit of a fright.

 

One of the swifties in the group who was fully decked out in a Taylor Swift-inspired outfit started gushing at Dong Jun’s appearance—- which, although always a typical encounter, never failed to make Fei Luo’s blood boil.

 

There was no denying that Dong Jun looked great. He had clearly designed his outfit with passion, leaving no area untouched. Back in his palace earlier that day, Fei Luo was wondering what was taking him so long. When Dong Jun finally came out and revealed his full outfit, Fei Luo had gone slackjawed and may have even drooled a little. Apparently, swifties had to design their concert outfits after one of the albums, and Dong Jun had chosen one with a dark aesthetic. Dong Jun did not often wear dark colors but they clearly suited him very well. 

 

Fei Luo could ogle all he wanted but he was displeased by the mortal swifties doing so as well.

 

“Oh my god, I love your hair and your makeup so much you have to tell me what brands you use,” one swiftie gushed.

 

Dong Jun only laughed in response. “I’m full of so many secrets you would not be able to comprehend.”

 

It was then that they started to exchange those bracelets, giving Fei Luo a first-hand look at the so-called girlhood. He still did not really understand but Dong Jun looked like he was having fun, so who really cares?

 

He was hoping to stay off to the side and let the fans do their thing but unfortunately for him, the swifties did not completely ignore him.

 

One of them looked at Fei Luo after trading her bracelets and squinted in confusion.

 

“Hey, where are your bracelets?”

 

As if a record had just been scratched, the rest of them completely stopped what they were doing and looked at Fei Luo as if they had just heard the most shocking thing ever.

 

Fei Luo started blushing on the spot. There were a lot of beauties looking at him at the same time. He was a little worried that his nose would start bleeding.

 

“Oh hey, that’s right! Did you forget them or something?” Another swiftie butted in.

 

What could Fei Luo possibly say? He did not even know this whole friendship bracelet thing was a thing and he was completely new to the concept of girlhood.

 

Luckily, before Fei Luo could explain to the swifties, Dong Jun stepped in.

 

“Oh, I dragged this one along with me. Observe his shirt.”

 

All of their eyes slid to Fei Luo’s shirt.

 

It was literally just a plain t-shirt with the handwritten word ‘Karma’ written on it with some marker he had found lying around. Dong Jun told him that he could not go to the concert looking so plain and demanded he at least look like he was going to a Taylor Swift concert in some way. Since Fei Luo was clueless about everything Taylor Swift, Dong Jun recommended he just do this because, apparently, that was what a lot of the boyfriends of swifties wear because apparently there was some verse in some song that said ‘karma is my boyfriend’. 

 

Fei Luo didn’t think it made much sense since he and Dong Jun were married, but whatever made Dong Jun happy he would do.

 

Specifics didn’t really matter because all of the swifties talking to them seemed to instantly understand.

 

“Ohhhhhhhhhh,” they all said in unison as equal understanding passed through them. 

 

All of the swifties were so hyped up. One of them even said, “That is literally so slay of you guys!”

 

Fei Luo stiffened. Slay?! Were the swifties in on Dong Jun’s plan? And why was he being included in that—he had NO plans of slaying anyone tonight.

 

Fei Luo had to clear this up here and now because he was already starting to feel the headache that would come from whatever Dong Jun might have planned.

 

He shuffled closer to Dong Jun and tugged on his sleeve. “Hey, Dong Jun, can I talk to you in private for a second?”

 

“Of course, darling.”  Dong Jun then turned to the rest of the group of swifties. “I have to leave now, ladies, but I hope you enjoy the concert. You all are looking so gorgeous in your outfits tonight, I know Taylor herself will be proud.”

 

The rest of the swifties woefully said their goodbyes and the two of them left to go somewhere hopefully more private.

 

“What is it?” Dong Jun stood to the side of the venue once they had walked a little bit away from those particular swifties. He snapped his fan open out of habit but Fei Luo could not really take him seriously when his fan was decorated with heart stickers and said ‘I LOVE YOU TAYLOR’ on it. 

 

Fei Luo stared at the fan, sputtering. He genuinely forgot what he wanted to say.

 

Dong Jun realized where he was looking and smiled, “I wanted to add more hearts, but I ran out. I thought this would be enough to get Taylor’s attention and we could all have a little laugh later.”

 

“Dong Jun, you’re not.. planning something, are you?”

 

Dong Jun narrowed his eyes, “What do you mean?”

 

“Well, uh, you’ve kinda been insinuating that you are, and those swifties just now were saying strange things, so I just wanted to make sure we’re just going to a concert and you don’t have any ulterior motives or anything..”

 

Dong Jun blinked at him for a moment before he suddenly burst into laughter.

 

“You really do worry over every little thing. Those swifties just want to have fun, and so do I. You didn’t get into my stash before we left, did you?”

 

He immediately wanted to protest, but before he could say anything Dong Jun suddenly drew closer and cupped Fei Luo’s face, staring intensely into his eyes.

 

Fei Luo’s heart was hammering out of his chest. With a beauty mere inches away from his face, who could blame him for freaking out?

 

“What are you doing?!”

 

“Checking, of course. Usually, the eyes turn red under the influence of such substances.”

 

Fei Luo’s face burned red and he could only stand there feeling embarrassed.

 

“I’m not high!” Fei Luo desperately tried to escape Dong Jun’s hands which would surely mess up whatever makeup Dong Jun had put on his face. 

 

“I am,” Dong Jun sighed contently, finally relenting his abuse on his husband, instead hugging him. “I always am.”

 

“I know,” Fei Luo replied nervously, looking around to make sure nobody heard that or cared. Everyone in heaven knew that Dong Jun was A-yi’s number one weed buyer.

 

“Do you think the security will notice?” Dong Jun chuckled as they walked to stand in line for entry to the venue. The line was so long that it wrapped around the building a few times.

 

Fei Luo was starting to consider just barging to the front and demanding they be let in first, but he did not want to risk upsetting the beauties patiently waiting for their turns. What kind of a man would he be if put his own impatient agenda above the enjoyment of those more beautiful than himself? Still, it seemed like a bit of a crime to make a beauty as gorgeous as Dong Jun wait in such a long line.

 

“Probably not,” Fei Luo responded. Dong Jun always seemed to have a way to be secretive about everything. His appearance was also so dazzling that whoever was working the security would probably be charmed into letting them through no matter if they noticed he was high or not. 

 

Turns out he was wrong! When they finally got to the front of the line, the security guard took one look at Dong Jun and stopped them.

 

“Hold on, sir, have you taken any illegal substances? Your eyes are looking a bit red.”

 

“Of course not, this is my natural eye color,” Dong Jun smiled amiably.

 

Surely with Dong Jun’s charm, the security guard should be easily persuaded into letting them in the concert. Fei Luo really hadn’t thought Dong Jun’s eye color would be much of a problem, but then again he supposed that the bigger issue was that the white of his eyes was also tinged red as well.

 

After a moment of scrutiny, the security guard only shook his head.

 

“Sorry, we don’t allow anyone under the influence to enter the venue.

 

Dong Jun did not seem perturbed but Fei Luo was inexplicably unhappy. Sure, he really hadn’t wanted to come to the concert in the first place, especially if Dong Jun was scheming something, but he could not for a second believe that some lowly human actually had the nerve to deny Dong Jun entry.

 

With gritted teeth, Fei Luo shouldered forward to stand off against the guard.

 

“Are you serious??!?!?! Why the hell can’t we go through if we have the tickets?!?!”

 

“Sir, your friend is clearly-“

 

“Did you not hear him??!?! It’s his eye color!! Is there something wrong with you?!?!”

 

Fei Luo was pissed off to the point where he was seriously considering giving the security guard a taste of his physical strength. Despite Fei Luo’s insistence, however, the security guard remained resistant.

 

“You’re making a scene. If you both refuse to leave, I’ll have to call someone to remove you.”

 

“Do you even know who you’re talking to?!?!” Fei Luo’s angry short man energy was radiating off of him in waves as he clenched his fists in pure anger and annoyance. Who did this guy think he was trying to ruin Dong Jun’s day??”

 

“He’s right,” Dong Jun, who had been quietly observing the encounter off to the side, finally spoke up. “You really don’t seem to know who exactly you’re talking to.”

 

Fei Luo was a little concerned that a beauty thought it necessary to try to defend himself while he was already doing so. The approach was different though; Dong Jun’s stance against the guard was very relaxed and calm in nature, a vast contrast to Fei Luo’s verbal abuse.

 

But the guard seemed to prefer Dong Jun over Fei Luo. Clearly willing to give him the time of day, the guard crossed his arms. 

 

“Alright, fine then. So, who are you guys?”

 

Fei Luo was deeply unsatisfied that the guard felt it necessary to bother Dong Jun. Why did Dong Jun even have to defend himself just for trying to go to a concert he had tickets to? Did the guard have a personal vendetta against beauties? The very thought enraged Fei Luo; he could never entertain such blatant disrespect from a mortal. He just knew that he had to punish this ignorant fool. Never underestimate the short guys!!

 

Unfortunately, before Fei Luo could unleash a bone-shattering kick to the guard’s shin, he was suddenly tugged back by Dong Jun.

 

“Sorry about that, he’s ovulating.”

 

Absolutely flabbergasted, Fei Luo wanted to scream and protest that that was not even physically possible for him!!

 

The long line of swifties behind them had long since been listening to the rather loud exchange. When they heard what Dong Jun had said, they all started murmuring among themselves in understanding.

 

Fei Luo was so embarrassed that he felt the sudden urge to retreat back home.

 

Dong Jun retrieved their tickets and Taylor’s letter and brandished them in front of the security guard.

 

“Not only do we have V.I.P tickets, but I have a personal invitation from Taylor herself.”

 

An audible gasp sounded simultaneously from the swifties and they all instantly stopped their chattering. Even the security guard’s jaw dropped.

 

The security guard took the papers with a trembling hand and scanned the words with widened eyes.

 

“It’s true… It’s the mark of the queen herself.”

 

Upon reaching such a grand conclusion, he gave the papers back to Dong Jun and stepped to the side. “You both can go through.”

 

Applause erupted from the swifties as Dong Jun and Fei Luo finally entered the venue after receiving some weird bracelet.

 

“This is so weird,” Fei Luo muttered, glancing back behind him at the cheering swifties. As soon as Dong Jun revealed that they had special tickets, it was as if they themselves had become celebrities on the same level as Taylor Swift. Fei Luo was used to such worship and attention given his position in the Underworld but it felt strange coming from a load of music-loving mortals at a mortal event.

 

“It’s best if you don’t question it too much,” Dong Jun said mildly. “You’ll only confuse yourself further.”

 

The two of them then sought out the special seats that Taylor chose for them. Shockingly they were not actually in a fancy area as may be expected, but rather close to the common crowd.

 

“Some hospitality this is.” Fei Luo slumped in the seat, visibly less than pleased by the lack of special treatment.

 

Dong Jun only laughed as he sat in his own seat. With his closed folding fan, he nudged Fei Luo’s knee.

 

“Why the attitude so soon? The concert hasn’t even started yet and you’re already complaining.”

 

Fei Luo was debating whether telling Dong Jun that he was already bored would be a good idea or not. He was honestly just relieved that Dong Jun had yet to show any interest in causing chaos.

 

“Just expected better, I suppose,” Fei Luo shrugged. He obviously could not complain about Taylor Swift’s treatment too much, otherwise, Dong Jun may get upset.

 

He instead lazily gestured to the giant, overarching screen above the performance stage. “What the heck? How is that thing showing a video like that?”

 

“Don’t pretend like you’ve never seen a projection before.”

 

Fei Luo had to ponder the word ‘projection’ in regard to the current context to finally understand. He had in fact seen images being projected before. It shocked him out of his skin when he discovered it was possible to play a moving picture (they were called videos’ in modern times) on a blank wall.

 

“Oh, yeah..”

 

They had to wait a great amount of time for more people to filter in, and before they knew it the venue was packed with swifties. Fei Luo thought he had never seen so many mortals gathered in one place before, the closest comparison would have to be the number of souls in the Underworld. But the denizens of the Underworld were not there of their own free will and certainly not to have fun. Perhaps Fei Luo understood less of human culture than he thought.

 

Eventually, Fei Luo was jumpscared when the screen suddenly changed from random videos and pictures to a giant clock that was counting down.

 

“I DON'T UNDERSTAND, HOW IS IT COUNTING DOWN IN REAL TIME?” Fei Luo was really starting to miss the times when technology was not around to rattle his brains.

 

“I think it’s just another recording, dear.” Dong Jun was clearly starting to get excited, waving his fan a little faster.  “That means that it’s going to start soon.”

 

All of the other swifties seemed to understand the same thing, as Fei Luo swore that the noise level in the room seemed to get louder.

 

With Dong Jun’s insistence, Fei Luo put on the weird wristband that the security guard gave him. Apparently, it was supposed to light up during the concert. Fei Luo did not really understand how a light show mattered at a concert but he put it on without much of a fuss regardless.

 

“By the way,” Dong Jun reached into his pocket and took out what looked like little earplugs. “Put these in your ears before the concert begins.”

 

“Wait, why is that necessary??” Fei Luo hesitantly took the earplugs from him in confusion. He had never been to a concert before but he understood the concept just fine. Was Taylor’s voice that shrill?

 

“It can get quite loud. I’m afraid your poor little ears may not be able to withstand the noise.”

 

Fei Luo frowned. It was inappropriate for a beauty like Dong Jun to be so concerned for the needs of others. If anything, Dong Jun should be worrying about the health of his own ears!!

 

Fei Luo could only huff in response. “I think I can manage.”

 

“Really?” Dong Jun quirked a brow.

 

“Sure. Who says I can’t handle noise? You know how noisy the Underworld can get.”

 

There were millions of souls living in Li Jin alone as they waited for their turn to reincarnate. Although the Underworld was large, individuals still preferred to congregate, and the noise from their activity could reverberate up to halfway across Wangchuan.

 

Even if the concert was going to be loud, there was no way it would be louder than Li Jin, especially during one of the more festive days.

 

But Dong Jun only laughed, concerning Fei Luo a little. Now Fei Luo really wasn’t so sure…

 

“Comparing noise levels of the Underworld to the noise levels of a festive mortal event up in the land of the living is such a cute thing for you to do,” Dong Jun sighed fondly, resting his cheek on his chin as he gazed at Fei Luo with eyes glittering with amusement.

 

Fei Luo was actually caught off guard. 

 

“…Huh?”

 

“You underestimate the power of mortal excitement, my dear, sweet, innocent husband; ‘cutie patootie’ as they say these days.”

 

Well, that was a new one. Fei Luo could say for certain that he had never once heard anyone say ‘cutie patootie’ before, not even Dong Jun, who was always adopting the various popular slang words and phrases from the mortal realm. Fei Luo could more or less decipher the meaning but this was something he just had to ask A-yi about later.

 

“What do you mean…?” Besides the embarrassment from Dong Jun pulling out a new phrase he was unfamiliar with, he was also just confused about what was wrong with what he said. How could the excitement of thousands of mortals be the equivalent of millions of souls residing in one city?

 

“Understand it like this. Li Jin is a whole city, there is plenty of open space in the Underworld for the denizens to cry out their woes. Their despair only lasts so long that a shrill cry soon transforms into a dull cry, then a soft cry. There’s not much to grieve when you are already dead. Besides, such a racket can only travel so far, the fumes of Wangchuan kill sound faster than they kill memories. Cozied in the palace, the commotion outside turns to mere whispers.

 

Overwhelming joy and excitement naturally lead to more intense vocal expression. The loudest I’ve heard from Li Jin is when a festival is going on, which that alone is a rare occasion. This, however, is entirely different. Notice what a closed-in space this place is; the sound is going to remain entirely in this building! It would be like packing every Li Jin resident into the palace at once and throwing a party.”

 

In the midst of his mansplaining, Dong Jun had closed his eyes in deep thought and had begun to rhythmically fan himself. It was a habit hundreds of years old, in which he lost himself in his own rich insight.

 

Dong Jun was good at sounding wise and convincing, even though at that point in time Fei Luo knew that not everything he would say was always truthful. Regardless, there was real intelligence and wit that went into Dong Jun’s guidance, which was why he was such a good schemer. 

 

It was also way easier for him to admire Dong Jun’s beauty when his eyes were closed. He felt less shy. Although Dong Jun’s eyes were the heart of his beauty, them being closed was no real loss. The gentle curl of his eyelashes complemented the charming curve of his eyes.

 

At that moment, Fei Luo had a slight urge to say ‘I don’t get it’ just to hear Dong Jun explain some more.

 

Instead, he had to find a way to process what Dong Jun had actually said. It was a little hard when he had been admiring his face the whole time.

 

“But our wedding was a loud, festive event,” Fei Luo said. “And that was in the Underworld.”

 

“Ugh,” Dong Jun opened his eyes and his expression turned sour. He looked as though someone had suddenly splashed cold water on him. “I wish we had chosen another location. Marrying in a place we will be for centuries to come is just so boring.”

 

Fei Luo resisted the pang of annoyance he felt. It was not the first time he had heard that complaint. “I chose the wedding location, you chose the honeymoon location,” he reminded passively.

 

Back then, Dong Jun had no complaints about having the ceremony in the Underworld. It was more convenient and easier to set up thanks to the help of the ghost guards. It was only centuries later that Dong Jun had started to feel regrets. He had even recently begun suggesting they renew their vows again as an excuse to do the ceremony over in a new location.

 

“Yes, the honeymoon was so much more exciting, don’t you think?” Dong Jun’s expression slowly melted to a mischievous smile and he snatched Fei Luo’s hand. “Just think, if we undergo another ceremony then we can hold twice as many wedding memories.”

 

The honeymoon certainly had been ‘exciting’ by Dong Jun’s standards. Dong Jun’s choice was, rather, to visit multiple scenic nature spots that he had come across in his annual trips to start spring. Fei Luo was not one to often venture out into nature, let alone leave the Underworld for reasons other than business, which was why the trip had been more unique for Fei Luo. In the bliss and excitement of their newfound married life, their honeymoon had started well, and Dong Jun and Fei Luo traversed mountains, plains, and forests with their hands intertwined. 

 

Unfortunately, at a spot on the coast of the Eastern Sea, a hungry sea demon lurking under the water had sprung up and clamped onto Fei Luo’s foot when he had gotten close to the water. It resulted in a scuffle that lasted no more than five seconds before the lowly creature was kicked back into the sea by Dong Jun. An inconsolable Fei Luo had cried into Dong Jun’s shoulder for an entire hour.

 

It certainly wasn’t the best memory he had of their honeymoon. Perhaps it really would be best if they held the ceremony again.

 

“I’ll consider it,” Fei Luo mumbled, tapping his fingers absentmindedly while Dong Jun still held his other hand captive. He likely would end up caving into Dong Jun’s wishes once he became more persistent about it, it was only natural to want to please such a pretty face. The concert sure was taking a long time to start and Fei Luo already felt worn out.

 

Dong Jun seemed displeased with his lack of enthusiasm. 

 

“You’ve said that for the last fifty years,” he laughed humorlessly. “Why not just say yes? What is there to consider that takes fifty years to do so?”

 

“I just think that a wedding is a one–time event, which is why it is so special. Cang Ji and Jing Lin only got married once!” Fei Luo started waving his free hand around as if it could make his argument more convincing.

 

Dong Jun only scoffed. “Please, Cang Ji would probably remarry Jing Lin every year if he wanted. For all I know, he probably does.”

 

Fei Luo considered it and that might actually be true. It would not be too surprising if those two have had multiple private weddings after their initial one. But then again, if they had, it would have also come up during a family get-together or something.

 

“Well, perhaps Cang Ji has the finances for that,” Fei Luo shrugged, kicking his legs in boredom. Taylor Swift sure was taking her time. “He also doesn’t have to manage millions of souls on the daily.”

 

“I know you have both the riches and the ability to clear your schedule for fun. Those poor ghost guards manage most of your load anyways.”

 

Fei Luo glared and defiantly yanked his hand from Dong Jun’s. “I do plenty of work on my own. It is the ghost guards’ job to help me out, and I take my share of breaks but that doesn’t mean I have time to host parties all the time.”

 

The nerve of Dong Jun to accuse him of having so much free time was laughable considering it was Dong Jun who would neglect his duties in heaven to go have fun in the mortal realm. Sure, Fei Luo enjoyed his own relaxation and fun time but that did not mean that he was not hardworking! Fei Luo would have to interrogate the ghost guards later and fire whoever gave Dong Jun that idea.

 

“Hey, which album did you dress up for?”

 

Fei Luo turned his head to the stranger who randomly decided to chat him up. It was some middle-aged man wearing some sort of elaborate outfit. He certainly fitted in with the crowd of swifties, but Fei Luo felt that something about the guy also seemed a little out of place.

 

“I don’t think I was talking to you,” Fei Luo glowered at the stranger sitting to his left. He really was not in the mood to chat with more swifties. He just wanted the concert to start and be over with as soon as possible.

 

A surprised expression washed over the man’s face. Perhaps he was expecting Fei Luo to excitedly converse with him about his outfit like a true swiftie.

 

He scoffed and narrowed his eyes. “Well, sorry , I didn’t know it was such a crime to ask about an outfit at a concert. My mistake.”

 

“Can you not read the shirt?” Fei Luo glared and straightened out his shirt so that it was more readable. Given the reaction from the swifties earlier, the man should finally understand and leave him alone.

 

The man gazed at the karma shirt but given his screwed-up expression, Fei Luo was unsure if he could even read it given that the he did not seem very intelligent.

 

Before the man could say something in reply, Dong Jun leaned over to join in on the conversation, putting a hand on Fei Luo’s shoulder. 

 

“Don’t mind him, Tony. He’s antsy for the concert to start and he’s ovulating,” Dong Jun smiled kindly at the man, waving his fan with his other hand. “I love your folklore outfit.”

 

Fei Luo’s face only darkened. “I am NOT ovul-“

 

But the man apparently named Tony was no longer paying him any attention after seeing someone with a much more interesting outfit. “Thanks, Dong Jun! I figured you would be here. I really like the reputation get-up you have going on.”

 

Fei Luo glanced between the two swifties suspiciously. “You two know each other?”

 

“Of course,” Dong Jun waved it off. “Mr. Tony Stark here is another good friend of Taylor’s. I’ve met him and his acquaintances at a few swiftie meetups and have helped them out with a few personal projects as well.”

 

Fei Luo was already confused but Dong Jun had already started to talk to Tony Stark again.

 

“What a coincidence that we sit next to each other. Taylor personally assigned us these seats.”

 

 “Shocker, she invited me as well.” Tony Stark fished out his own invitation to flaunt to Dong Jun.

 

“Aw, no fair,” Dong Jun huffed dramatically and put his fan up to his face to fake cry. “Here I thought I was special.”

 

“You are special!” Fei Luo quickly asserted. No beauties could be down on his watch.

 

Dong Jun smiled. “Thanks, darling. I suppose it’s only natural that she invites more than just me, she has plenty of friends after all,” he waved it off like it did not actually bother him.

 

Directing his attention back to Tony Stark, Dong Jun inquired, “Did Tom Holland come with you?”

 

“He did. He’s sitting down in the V.I.P section.”

 

“Who is Tom Holland?” Fei Luo inquired. That sounded like a man’s name to him. Why did Dong Jun know so many men? “And if there is a V.I.P section, then why are we sitting up here?”

 

Tony Stark only raised an eyebrow at Fei Luo. “These are the best seats in the venue. Taylor said so herself. The V.I.P section is only for those sorry individuals who think they are special. Taylor’s real favorites sit up here where we can see her the best and she can see us.”

 

“I think I would feel more special if I sat in a designated area specifically meant for special people,” Fei Luo complained. He contemplated how easy it would be to just snatch a seat from the V.I.P section; perhaps there would be less swifties there to bother him.

 

Dong Jun clicked his tongue and shook his head. “That’s nonsense. If it was so special, Taylor would have put us there. There’s no reason not to place her important guests in the most special spot. There is definitely a reason she placed us here.”

 

Fei Luo was still unsatisfied but Tony Stark was already nodding in agreement. “Obviously. Tom Holland had a similar opinion as you, but he just wanted to buy special V.I.P tickets to say that he has sat there before.”

 

Fei Luo wanted to protest that he wanted that as well but Tony Stark had already started chatting with Dong Jun about their outfits again.

 

“Your outfit really is something. I can tell you put a lot of thought into it. I need to buy that jacket for myself.”

 

Dong Jun grinned, clearly happy that someone was appreciating the work he put into his outfit. “I’m so glad you like it. I got the jacket from UNIQLO.”

 

The more Tony Stark complimented the little bits and pieces of Dong Jun’s reputation outfit, the tenser Fei Luo got. He did not like at all that another man seemed to be ogling his husband, especially when Dong Jun was wearing clothes and jewelry that made him look so ethereal. It was a dark and dangerous kind of beauty, which was clearly what Dong Jun was going for, but the attention that came from it put Fei Luo on edge.

 

He finally snapped when Tony Stark had reached over to feel the material on Dong Jun’s sleeve. Fei Luo slapped the threatening hand away and defensively grabbed a hold of Dong Jun’s hand. He leaned forward and twisted his body to fully square up to the individual next him.

 

“He is married !” Fei Luo snarled.

 

Tony Stark put his hands up in mock surrender.

 

“Woah woah woah, I didn’t realize I was about to make a proposal. Who is he married to, you? I don’t see a ring on that finger, princess.”

 

Fei Luo’s face flushed red with anger and annoyance. “Yes, to me. ”

 

Next to him, Dong Jun was doubled over in laughter. Wiping the tears from his eyes, he sat up and tried to explain: “Wedding rings were not really a thing when we got married.” He squeezed Fei Luo’s hand and leaned closer, eyes dark with interest as he lowly murmured, “Which is all the more reason to have the ceremony again.”

 

Fei Luo’s flush reached his ears and neck. He turned toward Dong Jun to protest immediately. “If we really do have it again, it should be traditional!”

 

Dong Jun chuckled and pressed a kiss to Fei Luo’s ear. “It can be a mixture of both traditional and modern.”

 

The weasel was shocked into stunned silence. He was suddenly acutely aware of how close Dong Jun’s face was to his, how he could count each accented eyelash on Dong Jun’s seductively crafted eyes, how Dong Jun’s finger lightly brushed the surface of Fei Luo’s hand. He could feel sweat begin to accumulate on the palm clutching Dong Jun’s hand.

 

This was very dangerous territory to delve into. Dong Jun knew just how to charm Fei Luo into giving him what he wanted. Fei Luo was so weak for Dong Jun that his methods of persuasion were nearly always foolproof, at least for on-the-spot desires.

 

“Okay…” He mumbled quietly. “Maybe.”

 

Dong Jun rolled his eyes at the ‘maybe’ but gave him another kiss. 

 

Tony Stark had in fact not disappeared like Fei Luo had thought and was still there next to them third-wheeling. “Wow, he really is ovulating. Those are some crazy mood swings.”

 

Fei Luo was instantly pulled back into reality and instantly angry again. “For the last time, I am NOT ovulating!! That is not possible!!” he snapped.

 

“Are you sure?” Dong Jun asked seriously.

 

His deadpan tone made Fei Luo pause and slowly turn to look at him again. Was he sure? Now he didn’t know and Dong Jun was making him nervous.

 

“What do you mean…?”

 

Before Dong Jun had the chance to respond, the room suddenly went dark and the venue erupted in cheers. It turned out that the strange clock projection had finally counted down to zero and the audio playing had changed.

 

“What’s going on?” Fei Luo wearily asked, looking around at all the sudden commotion. He never noticed when the venue had become so packed.

 

“Oh, it’s finally starting! Get up.” Dong Jun jumped up excitedly, eyes sparkling.

 

Fei Luo groaned but relented. At least the concert was finally going to start.

 

The crowd was going absolutely wild with cheers and screams from the swifties all around them. Fei Luo could see some sort of door all the way at the back of the stage open and people with gigantic billowy pink things on their back slowly started walking downstage in singlefile. The weird pink things flowed up and down gracefully as they walked out.

 

“Which one is Taylor Swift?” Fei Luo inquired, already getting a little impatient. He had to raise his voice significantly now that the noise level had drastically increased.

 

“Shush.”

 

Fei Luo watched as the people in the weird flowy things all congregated around a specific spot on stage and crouched down so that the tall flowy accessories curved down to cover up a section of the stage. He thought it all looked a little silly for those mortals to be crawling around in front of thousands who were there to see Taylor Swift.

 

Suddenly all of the weird flowy things lifted upwards to reveal a blond woman in a sparkly outfit who had not been standing there before. Fei Luo could have sworn he heard her say “It’s been a long time coming, but” but the crowd around him started screaming like crazy and singing the lyrics of the song along with her so it was hard to tell.

 

The sudden influx of noise made Fei Luo wince and cover his ears. His enhanced hearing abilities did not seem to come in handy at all in that instance. He frantically began to search for the earplugs Dong Jun gave him before stuffing them in his ears. Looking over at Dong Jun, who was enthusiastically singing along and waving his fan, Fei Luo could see that he had put in earplugs as well.

 

The platform Taylor Swift was standing on slowly started to rise. Fei Luo would have been impressed by her entrance had he not been worried about the possibility of his ears bleeding.

 

Taylor Swift then proceeded to sing her song alongside the many obnoxious swifties. If only A-yi had come along with them, he loved to sing karaoke songs so he surely would love the concert. Taylor Swift was wearing some sort of sparkly outfit; it was hard to make out the details since the bright lights were making it hard to see, but luckily there was a large screen up top that showed Taylor more easily.

 

Fei Luo was already starting to lose track of what was going on. He was pretty sure the song had already switched but the transition was so smooth that he really could not tell.

 

Eventually, Taylor stopped singing and just looked out into the sea of swifties.

 

“Wow Zhongdu that was some greeting you gave me there.”

 

The crowd once again erupted in cheers and screams. Fei Luo was impressed by the noise level; Even with his earplugs in, he still felt the urge to cover his ears.

 

“You’re making me feel fantastic, you’re making me feel powerful.”

 

“Why is she talking to us? She’s supposed to be singing.” Fei Luo grumbled, his voice easily getting drowned out by the excited swifties. He did not know what he would do if the opera singers he once invited to perform for him in the Underworld had suddenly stopped mid-performance and started to converse with him.

 

 Taylor Swift suddenly walked to the back of the stage and put on a sparkly gray blazer. “I guess what I’m trying to say is you’re making me feel like I’m the man.”

 

And then she instantly burst into her next song. Fei Luo was just left confused and he could not help but turn to Dong Jun.

 

“What? What does she mean she’s a man? I thought she was a woman.”

 

Dong Jun laughed. “You wouldn’t get it. She just said that to introduce the song.”

 

Fei Luo frowned. He supposed that it was only natural that the Taylor Swift concert was full of references he did not understand. 

 

Midway through the song, he got a little bored and tried to sit down but was abruptly hauled up by Dong Jun before he really had the chance. Clearly he could not even sit down and enjoy the music! Fei Luo did not know how he was to be expected to stand through so much singing and cheering, after all, his ass was still a tad sore from last night’s activity.

 

A few more songs passed. Fei Luo did not understand a lot of the words even though they were being blasted but he was enjoying the visual effects of the performance.

 

Unexpectedly, Taylor Swift suddenly looked in the direction where they were sitting and abruptly stopped. She looked and signaled to the band.

 

“Wait, stop, stop, stop. Stop the music!” She called into her microphone. 

 

Fei Luo could still clearly hear the song playing even though Taylor herself was shouting other things. He narrowed his eyes. So, Taylor Swift was not actually singing?!

 

The music stopped and the backup dancers looked at each other in confusion. The crowd also started chattering in surprise.

 

“My friend up there is sleeping!” Taylor Swift pointed in their direction while holding her guitar in one hand. “Someone next to him, please wake him up so he can enjoy. He is one of my special guests.”

 

Fei Luo turned and saw that Dong Jun really had managed to doze off while standing up!! Dong Jun was supposed to be the one the most excited for the concert so how could he fall asleep so easily, especially when they really had not been there that long? Fei Luo was extraordinarily unhappy.

 

He shook Dong Jun’s arm to wake him up.

 

Dong Jun opened his eyes and seemed to quickly remember where he was. He smiled at Taylor Swift and called out, “I was merely resting my eyes for a moment.”

 

Taylor Swift, seeing Dong Jun awake and attentive once again, laughed back and signaled to the band. The band, although confused, started up the music again and Taylor Swift continued her song right from where she left off. The backup dancers were disoriented and struggled to find their place in the dance again after the interruption. 

 

Fei Luo could feel eyes on him and felt uncomfortable now that Taylor Swift had actually stopped her performance to call them out. Now there were plenty of nosy mortals wanting to know who they were.

 

“I can’t believe you actually fell asleep!” He hissed to Dong Jun who was lazily waving his fan and watching the performance.

 

“It’s not my favorite song,” Dong Jun yawned. “Besides, I’ve been preparing for this concert all day. I’m tired. Might as well sleep through some songs so I can be fully engaged for my favorites.”

 

Fei Luo did not understand why Dong Jun had not just taken a quick nap before the concert when they had time. Fei Luo came to the concert for Dong Jun; if Dong Jun slept through the entire concert, he would be a little upset. Hopefully his power nap had been enough for him to stay awake for the remainder of the show.

 

The concert continued, and Taylor Swift kept singing the songs Fei Luo had heard countless times before playing in the Underworld. Sometimes the wristbands on the swifties would light up along with the music to create some fun patterns around the venue.

 

After a few more songs, Fei Luo was starting to wonder how long the concert would last. He had been forced to sit through Taylor Swift albums before but it was way more unbearable to be standing up cramped in a space with thousands of mortals. It also felt way too hot for Fei Luo, who was used to the cooler temperatures of the Underworld.

 

Catching a whiff of something odd, Fei Luo sniffed the air and scrunched up his face.

 

“Do you smell something burning?”

 

Right as he asked Dong Jun, a loud, obnoxious high-pitched noise started blaring throughout the venue. The music stopped and Taylor Swift only looked around in confusion. The sea of swifties reacted in alarm, with some voicing their unhappiness that the concert was being interrupted while others were panicking at the possibility of danger.

 

“A fire alarm?” Dong Jun snapped his fan closed. “Well, this is an unexpected turn of events.”

 

“A fire!?” Fei Luo turned to Dong Jun in alarm. “Did you do something?!”

“Why are you accusing me?” Dong Jun looked at Fei Luo with an aggrieved expression. “I’ve been enjoying myself here.”

 

That was true. Dong Jun really had seemed to want to watch the concert and had not given any hints to any actual plans. Even all talk of slaying had been put on hold since they entered the venue.

 

Crowds of swifties were dejectedly leaving through emergency exit doors. Dong Jun and Fei Luo had gotten up to start moving along with the crowd as well, but it was very slow-moving considering the grand number of people there. Each push and shove from a mortal made Fei Luo want to kick them down to the depths of hell himself.

 

Taylor Swift had surprisingly not left the stage. Perhaps she was worried about the safety of her fans and wanted to make sure everyone got out of the building in one piece. Despite the loud blaring of the alarm and the strong burning smell, Fei Luo did not see any signs of smoke in the venue.

 

“Everybody calm down!” Taylor Swift called out to the swifties shoving to leave. She ignored the few who were trying to climb onto the stage to get close to her. “I’m so happy you all support my music but I care more about your safety.”

 

“That’s what you want them to believe, Taylor.” A voice on a megaphone called out from all the way in the back of the venue, near one of the entrances. The fire alarm suddenly stopped blaring as if the entrance of this individual was some kind of grand reveal.

 

Everyone turned to look at who had just spoken. Fei Luo’s eyes widened. Even from so far away, he could still recognize the face on the website he had visited a few weeks ago. It was Scooter Braun !

 

Taylor Swift seemed to recognize him as well as she stared incredulously at the back of the venue. 

 

“Scooter?”

 

The swifties closest to the back who had been unable to exit instantly reacted. All swifties held one thing in common: their hate for Scooter Braun. Screaming in rage, they went to rush Scooter.

 

Unexpectedly, in his hand, Scooter held a grappling hook which he used to make a swift escape from the swifties. Landing on one of the high-tech ceiling lights, Scooter laughed into his megaphone.

 

“Missed me! Ha ha, oh Taylor, your concert was just so easy to infiltrate. Currently, Kanye and his friends are enjoying a nice little indoor barbeque just outside those doors.”

 

If the crowd was not in a frenzy before, now they really were. Dong Jun clenched his fist, a disturbingly calm expression on his face despite the circumstances.

 

“Kanye West.”

 

Fei Luo looked a little fearfully at Dong Jun. Dong Jun rarely ever showed extreme anger outwardly, but based on his reaction to Fei Luo simply reading an email from Scooter Braun before, he knew just how much he hated the guy standing on the ceiling light. Fei Luo knew that Scooter Braun did not seem very okay in the head based on his email exchange with him, and based on that knowledge he was unsure of if he even wanted to know who ‘Kanye West’ was.

 

Taylor Swift shouted angrily at Scooter, “To think you schemed with Kanye to ruin my concert! Are you really so greedy?!”

 

Scooter laughed sinisterly before triumphantly yelling right back, “ You are the greedy one! Do you really think you can get away with ruining my reputation to make yourself popular again? Now, in front of your precious fans, I will expose the kind of person you really are!”

 

Before Taylor could respond, a security guard walked out from backstage to meet up with her.

 

“Excuse me, Miss Taylor,” He held up a small baggie containing mysterious white powder inside. “We found this inside your room.”

 

The room went deathly silent and Fei Luo could see a droplet of sweat roll down Taylor Swift’s forehead. The swifties, ever loyal, rushed to defend her.

 

One swiftie near the stage was trying to take a selfie with Taylor Swift as she spoke. “That could be powdered sugar. Our queen was going to make cookies later!”

 

The other swifties around her started to chime in with similar guesses: salt, cream of tartar, baking powder, and other random ingredients.

 

Scooter up on the light was clearly getting annoyed. 

 

“Fools! Anybody can see that it is drugs!”

 

Fei Luo glanced suspiciously at Dong Jun next to him, but his expression had remained unchanged. Nonetheless, it would not surprise Fei Luo at all if Dong Jun had been the one to deal Taylor those drugs; She had thanked him in her letter for them, after all.

 

Despite all of the defense, the security guard only sighed and grabbed a hold of Taylor’s arm. “We’re going to have to investigate this.”

 

The swifties instantly all protested and even began booing the guard.

 

Meanwhile, Scooter only jeered at Taylor from up above.

 

“So, the truth comes out! Queen Taylor Swift is actually a lowly drug addict. No more love stories for you!”

 

Fei Luo was curiously watching the drama when out of nowhere he shivered and his skin prickled as his senses were suddenly assaulted with cold, dark energy. Alarmed, he shot a look at Dong Jun only to find that a dark aura began radiating around him. Fei Luo recognized the sign immediately: Dong Jun was at the brink of exposing his true form! Fei Luo looked away instantly, squeezing his eyes shut in anticipation.

 

As expected, a burst of malicious energy spread throughout the entire venue, bringing screams of terror in its wake. Fei Luo had his eyes shut, but he could more or less understand what was happening. Upon the arrival of Dong Jun’s true form, hundreds of swifties still in the venue scrambled to run for their safety, some ducked behind the seats to cower and hide. There would no doubt also be some individuals glued to their spots, shaking in fear and unable to bring themself to run away. Perhaps a few had even passed out from the shock.

 

Squinting his eyes open slightly, Fei Luo startled at the sight of a few bodies laying passed out near him. Likely the individuals too close to Dong Jun had passed out before they had too much time to react. Humans were too fragile!

 

Meanwhile, on stage, Taylor Swift and the bodyguard had both been paralyzed in shock and could only stare in a trance. Up on the light, despite being so far away, Scooter was not unaffected by the malevolent energy in the room and was also cowering in fear. Perhaps he knew that he was the one Dong Jun was after, Dong Jun’s shadowy form and countless eyes were all focussed on him, after all. 

 

“Hold-Hold on now!” Scooter cried shakily into his megaphone. The megaphone almost fell out of his trembling and sweaty grip. “Let’s all be civil about this! I am simply pointing out the truth about Taylor Swift! And besides…” 

 

His frazzled brain scrambled for something else to focus on before he finally remembered very important information. With his other hand, he pointed an accusatory finger and shouted: “The one who suggested I start a fire and crash the concert was him! Your friend down there, the little guy!”

 

That finger was pointed directly at Fei Luo!! Fei Luo had been watching the drama unfold cautiously through squinted eyes; He was practically watching through his eyelashes. From the shock of the unexpected accusation, Fei Luo widened his eyes.

 

“Wait, WHAT?!”

 

He had done no such thing!! Sure, he had exchanged a few emails with Scooter, but he certainly had not suggested the things Scooter was accusing him of. And who was Scooter calling little?! Being so high up, everyone should look small to him; there was no need to single Fei Luo out!

 

Even Dong Jun had been surprised and had shifted back to his human form, much to the relief of everyone. He laughed coldly at Scooter’s accusation and deflection of blame.

 

“That’s my husband. Try again.”

 

“Husband?” Scooter’s face contorted but he was just as relieved as everyone else that Dong Jun had reigned in his temper and had put away his monstrous form. Perhaps Dong Jun realized that he could not direct his anger at Scooter if someone else was behind his plan. Despite his relief, he could not stop his trembling form. He sneered down at Dong Jun, reluctant confidence slowly easing back into his tone. “You must feel so betrayed, then. I have the logs right here: emails from Fei Luo detailing the plan.”

 

Scooter held up his phone and Fei Luo freaked out. How could Scooter have emails of him saying these things if Fei Luo knew for a fact that he did not say them?! Was someone impersonating him? And how was Scooter able to single him out in the venue? If Scooter really did have someone impersonating him and sending incriminating messages, things could get bad. Fei Luo did not have his phone to show emails on his side and even if he did, he had already forgotten the passcode to unlock the phone!

 

“Dong Jun, I swear I didn’t do anything!” Fei Luo stammered to defend himself.

 

But Dong Jun didn’t seem to be paying him any mind and merely stepped forward and extended his hand upward toward Scooter Braun.

 

“Show me.”

 

Scooter cackled and eagerly tossed the unlocked phone down into Dong Jun’s waiting hand. “Yes, see for yourself!”

 

It was a good thing Dong Jun actually caught it because his plan would have fumbled if his phone ended up shattered on the ground.

 

The room was tense as Dong Jun silently looked through the messages. Fei Luo wanted so badly to see the conversation, see just how he had been framed or his words had been altered, but he stayed back. The swifties in the venue had gradually started to calm down and come to their senses, instead keenly listening in on the drama. Even Taylor Swift and the bodyguard looked invested in the sudden change of events.

 

Scooter Braun, up on the light, crouched with a smug smile on his face, excited to see how Dong Jun would react to the betrayal of his husband.

 

Unexpectedly, Dong Jun suddenly laughed, putting the whole room on edge. He lifted his gaze up to Scooter and smiled maliciously.

 

“Nice try, Scooter.”

 

Scooter’s smirk instantly dropped into a frown. “What’s wrong? Did you not read the whole correspondence?”

 

“I read it, but I know that’s not Fei Luo,” Dong Jun said breezily.

 

“And how can you be so sure?” 

 

Dong Jun casually gestured at the messages on the phone.

 

“It looks to me like it was you who was instigating ways to get back at Taylor. In this message, Fei Luo says: ‘maybe just start a fire lol’. What you don’t know, Scooter, is that Fei Luo has no idea what ‘lol’ means.”

 

The room filled with gasps and chatter at the sudden reveal. This was the best drama they had all seen in a while, certainly in real life.

 

Scooter’s eyes widened in shock and he promptly jumped to his feet and dramatically recoiled, which made the light violently shake.

 

“WHAT?! Im-Impossible!”

 

“Mm, I’m afraid it is possible,” Dong Jun sighed, shaking his head. “He cannot for the life of him get used to modern acronyms or slang.”

 

Fei Luo for once felt proud of his inability to understand the developments in modern society.

 

Up on the light, Scooter swayed back and forth, continuously muttering ‘impossible, impossible,” all while holding his head. It seemed that the shock of the reveal had just been too much for him! He had constructed such a well-calculated plan, and it was so easy to blame Fei Luo since he knew he would be at the concert and could recognize him based on the photo for his email profile picture. Little did he expect that one minuscule oversight had ruined all that he had worked for!

 

In his shock, Scooter suddenly lost his balance and fell off of the ceiling light. The swifties in the venue, all witnessing him fall, rushed the opportunity to swarm him. Scooter’s screams filled the venue as the crowds of swifties pooled over him until it was impossible even to see Scooter anymore. Who knew just what the swifties were doing to him, they were no doubt showing him what happened when you messed with Taylor Swift.

 

Taylor Swift, on stage with the bodyguard, laughed and smoothly swiped the baggy of white stuff from the bodyguard.

 

“Well, it looks like we know who planted this one. I don’t think an investigation is necessary anymore.”

 

The bodyguard only remained slackjawed as he processed what had just happened and watched as the swifties swarmed Scooter. He barely even registered Taylor Swift anymore.

 

Fei Luo was watching in shock as well. Those swifties were not fooling around. Perhaps Fei Luo really had underestimated the power of mortals.

 

Taylor Swift came down from the stage and made her way over to where Dong Jun and Fei Luo were. Dong Jun was practically dancing in excitement.

 

“Hi guys! I hope you enjoyed the concert, y’know, before you-know-who scooted his way in here,” Taylor Swift casually greeted them with a bright smile on her face.

 

Dong Jun smiled, waving his folding fan. “It truly was a spectacular performance as usual. It’s such a shame it had to be cut short, I was really looking forward to it.”

 

Meanwhile, Fei Luo was just awkwardly standing there. He was honestly ready to go home, too overwhelmed by the sudden change of events. He never expected his first concert to go like this. He really could not believe that Scooter had been the one to slay instead of Dong Jun. Fei Luo had been worried about the wrong person for nothing.

 

Fei Luo was surprised that no swiftie was trying to talk to Taylor Swift now that she was on the floor. They were all too preoccupied with Scooter to notice. 

 

“I didn’t know you were homosexual, Dong Jun,” Taylor Swift said, giving Fei Luo a little wave.

 

Fei Luo just glared at her and did not wave back.

 

Dong Jun laughed and threw his arm around Fei Luo’s waist to pull him in closer.

 

“Yes, our relationship has prevailed for thousands of years and counting.”

 

Taylor Swift clearly misunderstood and just laughed. “I’m sure it feels like it’s been that long.”

 

“He’s being serious,” Fei Luo grumbled, clearly in a bad mood.

 

Dong Jun proceeded to pull out the Taylor Swift albums he brought with him and asked to have them signed. Taylor Swift naturally indulged him since they were good friends and she knew how much Dong Jun was a fan of her. 

 

Fei Luo, on the other hand, wanted nothing signed, and just wanted to leave so they could go home. He was tired, his ears hurt from the loud music and singing, and he was upset that a stranger just tried to frame him to his husband and a bunch of violent swifties.

 

Eventually, after some more chatting, Taylor had to leave. She thanked Dong Jun for the crack supply and invited him to another showing of hers that would definitely not be infiltrated by Scooter.

 

Once she was gone, Dong Jun and Fei Luo finally left the venue. Fei Luo walked briskly, eager to get back to the Underworld where he could be in a familiar environment again and have the time to process everything that had just happened.

 

But Dong Jun suddenly grabbed his hand and stopped him.

 

“Are you okay?”

 

Fei Luo turned and looked surprised at Dong Jun.

 

“Huh? What do you mean?”

 

“You look upset,” Dong Jun observed. 

 

Fei Luo would not be surprised if he did. It had been a long day. His heart thumped at Dong Jun’s concern for him, though.

 

“I’m just tired,” Fei Luo admitted. He was not sure if he really could tell Dong Jun all that was on his mind, anyway. He may laugh at him.

 

Dong Jun hummed and squeezed his hand.

 

“Me too. I’m ready to crash for a few days,” Dong Jun laughed lightheartedly. “Thanks for coming with me, though. I had a blast.”

 

“Why wasn’t I the first person you asked?” Fei Luo suddenly asked what had been on his mind since Dong Jun had first brought up the Taylor Swift concert.

 

Dong Jun was taken aback. “What do you mean?”

 

Fei Luo looked away and started internally wacking himself. He did not mean to say that!! But now that he said it, there was no way for him to take it back.

 

“To come here with you, I mean,” Fei Luo cautiously continued. He figured he may as well just be open about it. “I was not the first one you asked.”

 

“Oh, so that’s what you’re upset about.”

 

It was truthfully only one of the things that he was upset about, but it had been weighing on his mind the longest. Fei Luo could not see Dong Jun’s expression but he could only hope that the beauty had not been offended. 

 

Luckily, Dong Jun seemed more than happy to explain.

 

“I know you’re not the biggest fan of Taylor Swift. You’re always shouting when the ghost guards have their weekly swiftie dance parties. I thought you would naturally be unhappy if I asked you to go to a Taylor Swift event. Truth is, Zui Shan Seng and Yining are actually both fans of Taylor Swift as well but they were both unfortunately too unwilling to give up their work to go with me, leaving me all alone with nobody to turn to.”

 

Fei Luo’s eyes widened. So Dong Jun was actually thinking about Fei Luo’s feelings when he decided to invite Zui Shan Seng and Yining before him! He felt a little bad—Dong Jun really should not have to work his brain that hard for his sake.

 

“Oh, so that’s it,” Fei Luo frowned. He had felt a little exasperated when Dong Jun had first brought up the concert but he had been prepared to go with him anyway. If anything, being Dong Jun’s third choice had made him more upset. “I still would have gone with you though, if it made you happy.” 

 

“But it’s less fun if you aren’t having a good time as well,” Dong Jun sighed before continuing in a more optimistic tone. “But Taylor just now invited me to another show. This time you can be the first person I ask to go with me.” 

 

Fei Luo already felt a headache coming on. Sure, he just said that he would have gone with Dong Jun to a concert if it made him happy, but after the concert experience he just had, he was unsure if he could even handle another. Taking care of beauties really was too difficult!!!

 

Dong Jun must have been able to tell that his emotions were battling each other because he suddenly chuckled.

 

“You don’t have to say yes.”

 

After a moment of trying to sort his thoughts out, Fei Luo finally reached his own conclusion.

 

“You can ask Zui Shan Seng and Yining, perhaps even A-yi or whoever else likes Taylor Swift, and if none of them can go with you, I will.”

 

Fei Luo was honestly content just being asked first.

 

Dong Jun only smiled and went along with it. The two of them exchanged a brief kiss before they continued on their way. 

 

“I’m just glad you decided not to kill anyone,” Fei Luo laughed as they were walking. “Intentionally, I mean. I don’t like it when hoards of souls join the ferry-crossing queue at once, it makes it hard to walk around Lijin and it gives the ghost guards more things to complain about.” 

 

Fei Luo thought back to those that had passed out from the presence of Dong Jun’s true form, and to the fate of  Scooter Braun. If there were any casualties, hopefully the number was small.

 

“What do you mean?” Dong Jun asked, frowning and fanning himself with his folding fan.

 

Fei Luo thought that maybe Dong Jun was playing dumb on purpose. There was no way he could possibly not know what Fei Luo was talking about.

 

“You said earlier that you would. You said you would slay at the concert.”

 

Dong Jun abruptly stopped in his tracks, catching Fei Luo off-guard and making him almost fall backwards!

 

Fei Luo turned to see what had happened only to find Dong Jun doubled over in laughter. It was actually really awkward to just stand there while Dong Jun acted like he had just heard the funniest thing in his entire life, but Fei Luo was used to feeling confused by Dong Jun.

 

“What? Why is that so funny?’

 

But Dong Jun still needed a moment to compose himself. Passerbys started to stare at them but a glare from Fei Luo made them shy away.

 

After a few minutes of nonstop cackling, Dong Jun shakily stood up, wiping tears from his eyes. 

 

“You thought I was going to kill people at the concert? Is that what you thought I meant by ‘slay’?”

 

Fei Luo was just confused. “Yeah, that’s what you said. You said you were going to slay the concert. What else is that supposed to mean.”

 

Dong Jun was clearly struggling so hard not to have another laughing fit. “That’s what you’ve been thinking this whole time? I should have known you wouldn’t understand what I meant. You never fail to surprise me.”

 

“So, what does it mean?” Fei Luo frowned. Dong Jun should at least tell him what he really meant. He could not believe that all of his anxiety had stemmed from just a misunderstanding.

 

Unluckily for him, Dong Jun only waved it off.

 

“I don’t think you’ll be able to understand. What I meant was that I was going to look good at the concert.”

 

He was right, Fei Luo really did not understand how that definition came from the word ‘slay’. Modern slang made absolutely no sense. That being said, now that he knew the meaning, he knew that Scooter definitely did not slay at the concert whatsoever.

 

“Oh, okay I get it,” Fei Luo nodded in understanding. That definition certainly was more desirable than the one he had envisioned. “You did slay, you do everyday.”

 

Dong Jun only smiled mischievously. “Yes, and we’ll both be slaying at our second wedding ceremony.”

 

Fei Luo flushed and could only be rendered speechless by such a statement. In fact, he remained silent while Dong Jun chattered about what outfit he would wear at Taylor Swift’s next concert.

 

For the next week straight, Fei Luo could not stand listening to anyone sing Taylor Swift songs. He prohibited the ghost guards from playing or singing them in the Underworld, but they ended up going on strike until he finally relented.

 

Dong Jun’s influence really was powerful.