Chapter Text
He didn’t propose.
Standing on the threshold of their kitchen, soufflés in hand and speech running through his head, the sight of his sister and ex-girlfriend had been a metaphorical bucket of ice water to the face. The bubble of happiness and simplicity that he’d shared with Felicity had been pricked by danger and obligation, and he was left blinking in the harsh reality of life beyond the two of them and their cosy life together.
But…after journeying back to Star City, and even after his first time back out in the field in months, he’d still naively believed they could return to that life. He’d carried around his mother’s engagement ring in his pocket - a tangible reminder of what he wanted to get back to - as if the proposal was only on hold and they would soon resume their idyllic suburban life.
Until he discovered that Felicity had always regarded it as far from idyllic.
To be fair, the signs had been there all along that she’d been working with the team – hastily closed laptops, aborted phone calls, guilty looks - he’d just chosen to ignore them. And he’d ignored her less than enthusiastic response to their neighbour’s invites and her subtle snipes at their lives. The depth of his denial spoke of how desperate he was to conform, to lead a simple life.
But just as Felicity had missed their vigilante life – and the sense of purpose it gave her - so had he. The five months away and out of danger had been sorely needed - a time to heal and reflect. But that life was lacking any sense of permanency. They’d chosen to rent a house instead of buy one; he had never considered getting a job, and Felicity was telecommunicating as CEO of a multibillion dollar conglomerate, which was a short gap solution at best.
They’d been living on borrowed time.
Felicity was more than just a part time CEO. She wanted to make a difference to the company by day and she wanted to save the city by night.
And so did he.
He wasn’t the type of man to abandon his friends to danger or turn his back on the city during its time of need. And he wanted a chance to do things differently this time. To be more than just a weapon firing from the shadows. He wanted to be a symbol of hope to Star City. An inspiration. A talisman to ward away the darkness that had descended.
But in order to do that – to be that type of hero – he had to deflect the darkness in himself. He needed to learn how to fight in the light, without sacrificing any more of his soul to the cause.
Last year he’d relinquished his happiness – his life beyond the hood – because he’d believed it was the only way to succeed. He’d been the Arrow and nothing more.
Over the summer, he’d just been…Oliver. He’d discovered the type of man that was left behind when the Arrow was stripped away and some of the traumas of his past were put to rest. And he liked that version of himself –
a work in progress but…lighter, more carefree, more willing to embrace happiness and feel deserving of it.
The Arrow.
Oliver Queen.
He needed to be both. He needed to stop compartmentalising his life and become whole again. The fighter and the man in love. The hero as well as the friend and brother.
The Green Arrow.
And until he could do that…until he knew he could be effective in this new guise and still retain his sense of self…he couldn’t dangle a promise of forever in front of Felicity.
So he didn’t propose.
And he wouldn’t…for now.
While Felicity’s attention was on the TV – and his earlier broadcast to Star City - he hastily hid his mother’s engagement ring in a glass bowl on the table in front of him, making a mental note to move it to a more secure location tomorrow.
“You know, I hate to disappoint you, but that speech was pretty hopeful,” she said, turning away from the news report while shrugging out of her cardigan.
“Why would that disappoint me?”
“Oh, you know how you said you didn’t know how to be a hero without the darkness…” she teased, her thoughts obviously mirroring his own. “And I know how you hate being wrong…”
On this he was very willing to be wrong, he thought as he bent down to capture her lips with his own.
And maybe he was. After all, they’d survived their first battle with the darkness intact. He’d suited up, fought the ghosts and saved a lot of innocent lives.
And now he was kissing the woman he loved, in their new home.
Life as the Green Arrow was getting off to a pretty good start…
___________
“Six months ago, the Arrow died. But what he stood for didn’t.”
Martin dropped his briefcase by the door and toed off his shoes. As he padded in the direction of the blaring television he loosened his tie and rolled his neck. It had been a long week. And whilst he loved his job, and found it rewarding, it could definitely take its toll.
“It lived on in the heroes who took up his mantle. People who believe that this city should never descend into hopelessness.”
He found his wife standing in front of the TV, hands on her hips and head cocked to the side as she watched the broadcast. Only half listening to the gruff, modulated words echoing around him, Martin came up behind her and threaded his arms around her waist.
“Who believe although light is full of darkness, that darkness can be the key to find light.”
“Evening,” he mumbled into her neck as he bent to kiss her on the neck.
“Shhh,” Mary said, shrugging him away from the sensitive spot behind her ear, “I’m listening to this.”
“Listening to what?” Hooking his chin on her shoulder so they stood cheek-to-cheek, Martin turned his attention to the TV.
“It’s a broadcast from the new vigilante in Star City. But I think it’s the same guy as before - I’d recognise that jaw line anywhere.”
“And tonight I am declaring my intention to stand with them, to fight for this city...”
Even masked and shaded by the hood, the man did seem oddly familiar…
“To be the symbol of hope that the Arrow never was.”
If anyone could spot the Arrow, it was Mary - his wife was fascinated by the stories of the crime fighting teams that had cropped up over the past few years. She’d been horrified at the way Star City had turned against it’s hero, and she’d been devastated to hear he’d been killed in prison.
“Day in and day out, you try to help people overcome their traumatic experiences,” she’d explained when he’d asked her why their home was suddenly over-run by The Flash memorabilia and clippings about the Arrow. “But what if there had been someone around to stop their trauma from happening…if someone had been there to prevent it, to save them…I just think that what they do is so brave.”
“I am…the Green Arrow.”
At the end of the impassioned speech, the camera pulled back, allowing a glimpse of the Green Arrow, fully outfitted in tactical leather armour and attached weaponry. Just before the image faded to black, Martin’s attention was drawn to the man’s left hand. The movement was subtle, but he appeared to be rolling his thumb over his index finger…
A nervous tick.
Martin straightened up in shock, his mind flipping back through the clues laid out over the past couple of months.
The deaths…
The trauma…
The guilt…
The couple’s sudden retreat to Star City…
“I’m not a soldier, Martin”
“Close enough, Oliver.”
“Son of a bitch,” Martin whispered in awe.
“What is it, Sweetheart?” Mary asked turning in his arms to look up at him.
He shook his head. “Nothing, I…I was just thinking about that guy - the Green Arrow – and what he must have been through.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, to choose to put yourself in danger like that…to risk your life for strangers, with no thought of reward or recognition…”
“You think he’s atoning for something?”
“Maybe…” he replied. “Or maybe he’s just a hero.”
“Hmmm,” she responded. “Whatever the reason, I hope he’ll be okay.”
“I hope so too,” he whispered, thinking of the man he’d grown to like and admire, and the young woman who loved him. “I hope so too.”