Chapter Text
The situation had become utterly ridiculous.
It wasn’t as though Jennie had expected a smooth journey. There had always been room for unpredictable elements, especially when she’d never been certain about Lisa’s feelings. It was more than fair to have a reaction that wasn’t completely… positive.
But everything had a limit.
Jennie had spent weeks wondering how she could make a move on Lisa without creating chaos, and yet the moment Lisa decided to take the lead instead, she completely disappeared.
Three days.
Jennie had stared at her phone over and over after Lisa ran out of her apartment, waiting for her screen to light up with the name she longed to see. She expected a call—or at the very least, a message. Anything that would have explained the way Lisa abruptly fled from her apartment.
It wasn’t even her pride that stopped Jennie from reaching out immediately. Given Lisa’s visible panic when she had left, Jennie wanted to give her some time and space. She was being considerate.
But once Jennie got impatient enough to text first, she got ghosted.
They had more than enough time to let the tension boil down after whatever happened that day. Jennie was willing to look past the fact that she had been abandoned right after being kissed as long as there was an explanation coming.
Three days. Seventy-two whole hours. And Lisa didn’t attempt to contact her even once—left Jennie on read, even.
Jennie Kim did NOT get ghosted. She was not having it. Especially not from Lisa.
Perhaps if it had been anyone else, Jennie wouldn’t have bothered with the chase. But when it came to Lisa, Jennie’s heart made all kinds of exceptions. She was led by a feeling beyond her control.
Fortunately for Jennie, she knew where Lisa worked AND lived. Was tracking her down considered stalkerish behaviour? Certainly not. She had a motive to find her. She couldn’t leave things hanging, even though Lisa was clearly willing to do so.
It was like the beginning all over again—Jennie walking up that dodgy street, looking for the familiar Kim’s Fried Chicken & Burgers sign. She remembered thinking it looked tacky back then, but all it took was a few months to see it turn into a safe space for her. She wondered if it would continue to be. After all, it wasn’t the place that made her feel like that.
The ghosting meant that Jennie didn’t receive Lisa’s work schedule for the week, so she was back to guessing an appropriate time to show up and hope for the best.
Ryujin was working with a guy Jennie had never seen before. It was probably a new part-timer. Neither were who Jennie wanted to see, but unlike the first time they met, Jennie walked in and smiled at the pink-haired girl.
“Fancy seeing you here. Again.” Ryujin returned the smile, finally leaving the bitterness between them behind.
“I don’t really have a choice, let’s say.” Jennie stretched her neck to peek past the front staff and see if anyone was in the kitchen. “Is Lisa on shift today?”
Ryujin looked at her weirdly. “She didn’t tell you?”
“Tell me what?”
“Lisa called in sick for the past few days.”
And just like that, Jennie’s determined stance began to crumble.
“Sick?” Jennie asked, worried.
Ryujin nodded. “Yeah. It surprised me, honestly. Lisa has never called in sick for as long as I’ve worked with her.”
“She’s home, right?”
Jennie already started to step back towards the exit, now her mind completely focused on Lisa’s wellbeing.
“Well, she better be.”
----
Jennie pressed the doorbell.
Usually, she’d just have to send a quick text letting Lisa know she was at her door, but this time it would have been pointless. Jennie doubted that Lisa would read or reply to any message, even when she was standing right outside her home. So, she was left feeling like a stranger.
She waited.
She pressed it again, this time with her ear closer to the door.
Not a single sound could be heard.
“Go figure,” she grumbled as she knocked three times instead.
Lisa’s doorbell was clearly not working. Given the poor state of the wire connected to the button, Jennie’s guess was that it had not been working for a while.
When she still didn’t receive a response, Jennie tried her best not to panic. Lisa lived alone, so if something happened to her, no one would be able to aid her immediately. Jennie would have checked up on her daily, but she hadn’t for the past three days.
What if she was so sick that she couldn’t come to the door? What if she fainted? What if she was in pain?
Jennie knocked again, this time louder and more persistently.
A few thuds from inside calmed her heart a bit, finally a sign that Lisa was indeed home.
But when the door swung open, Jennie held back a surprised gasp.
Lisa was in her pyjamas with a blanket wrapped around her shoulders. Her hair was a mess, with the usual neat bangs now all over her forehead, and her face was paler than usual. Jennie could tell she had just rolled out of bed from the way she struggled to keep her eyes open.
But even when Lisa was clearly not in the best state, Jennie could recognise the guilty expression that appeared as soon as their eyes met. Lisa didn’t say anything, but she also didn’t let Jennie in.
“Are you really going to shut the door on my face?”
Jennie’s brewing annoyance had fizzled once the worry for Lisa took over. But if Lisa dared to close the door when she had made the effort to find her after three days of radio silence, she’d burn with rage.
“You probably shouldn’t come in. It’s a mess.”
Three days without hearing her voice. Jennie immediately took note that it sounded very raspy now.
“Did you lose your voice?” she asked, ignoring Lisa’s useless advice.
“Uh, I lost it the first day.” She cleared her throat, standing straighter. "It’s coming back, though. Slowly.”
Lisa sheepishly looked away, unable to keep eye contact.
Jennie resisted the urge to smile. She still made Lisa feel nervous, it seemed.
When her eyes scanned Lisa’s body from head to toe, she finally noticed that the girl was trembling. Clearly, the door had stayed open for too long, and Jennie had enough of standing on the wrong side of it.
Jennie took a step closer. “Will you please let me in?”
At first, Lisa appeared to deliberate over whether to actually let Jennie inside. It was really silly. Jennie didn’t ask her as a way to give her options. She was not leaving.
Once the door was opened wide for her, Jennie didn’t wait around. She stepped inside, taking off her shoes and leaving them on the usual lineup on the side as Lisa closed the door behind her.
But when she finally entered the living room, she froze, causing Lisa to crash onto her back.
The place was actually a fucking mess.
“There’s no way you’ve been eating like this while you’re sick.”
The small table they usually ate together on was now covered with instant ramen cups scattered all over. Some were empty and stacked in a pile, others still sealed.
“It’s easier than cooking,” Lisa said weakly.
Jennie shook her head in disapproval.
She glanced at the sofa, seeing the obvious pillow arrangement on one side. “Have you been sleeping here?”
“Sometimes.”
“Sometimes,” Jennie repeated, trying to make sense of the situation in any way.
Lisa wrapped her arms around herself.
“You need to go to bed,” Jennie said decisively.
And yet, Lisa didn’t move, her eyes lost staring at nothing in particular. It was evident that she was still feeling awful. Jennie placed her hand on Lisa’s back, startling the girl, but ultimately leading her towards the bedroom.
The room was fucking freezing.
“I open the window for ventilation in the morning,” Lisa mentioned, dropping herself on the bed tiredly. “It gets too cold, so I slept in the living room during the day.”
“I can’t believe you’ve been sick and not asked a single person for help, Lisa.” Jennie’s tone was reprimanding, but she still made sure to cover all of Lisa’s limbs with the duvet.
“It’s what happens when you live alone,” Lisa replied with a sigh, settling into her bed but hugging herself beneath the duvet from the cold.
“Living alone doesn’t mean that people stop caring for you.”
As she said it, she reached down to place her palm on Lisa’s forehead. Lisa visibly relaxed under her touch, but Jennie didn’t think it was the time to mention anything. She moved her hand to Lisa’s cheeks briefly.
“I had a bit of a temperature the day before yesterday. Don’t think it was serious, should be gone now,” Lisa said with her eyes closed.
“I’ll be the judge of that.”
Luckily, Lisa seemed to be right. Her temperature was still warmer than what Jennie would have liked, but not to the point to be concerning.
“How did you get sick?” she asked.
“Walked home from your place the other day.”
“It takes at least an hour to walk from there to here. And you did that in this weather. Did you lose your mind?”
“Something along the lines,” Lisa sighed.
Jennie wasn’t going to push for answers for the time being, but she was still allowed to express her disappointment over Lisa’s foolish decisions. She could understand that Lisa felt the need to evade her for some reason, but opting to walk home in the dark and in the cold had been plain stupid.
Lisa was lucky that she was not in the best state right now. Jennie couldn’t remember a single time she saw her so helpless.
“You’re sweating. Your bangs are stuck to your forehead,” she said amused.
Lisa groaned. “I took a shower last night, but I still feel gross.”
“Taking a shower whilst having a possible fever is not very wise,” Jennie informed her, but Lisa merely hummed in response.
Without announcing her departure, Jennie left the room and headed to the bathroom. She opened the drawer where Lisa kept her clean towels and grabbed two of her face towels. She then walked to the kitchen and looked through the various cupboards and shelves to find a bowl. Once she spotted one, she filled it with water.
When she returned to Lisa’s room, she expected the girl to have fallen asleep. But as soon as she heard Jennie step inside, Lisa’s eyes fluttered open. Almost as if she wanted to make sure Jennie was still there.
“You don’t have to stay awake for me,” Jennie commented as she placed the bowl on Lisa’s nightstand. She took a seat on the edge of the mattress again.
“I’m not sleepy,” Lisa replied, sounding awfully sleepy.
Jennie didn’t argue, silently dipping half of the towel in the water. “I’m gonna freshen you up a little. It’ll help you sleep better.”
Lisa eyed the towel in Jennie’s hands, not protesting when her duvet was pulled down to her stomach.
Jennie began with Lisa’s face. She passed the towel over her forehead, her cheeks. She then moved to her neck, making sure to gently swipe under her jaw without getting the pillow wet.
Lisa’s eyes were looking at her the whole time.
The plain blue pyjama shirt had a collar low enough to let Jennie work freely on her neck, but it was buttoned all the way up.
“Do you mind if I…?” Jennie hesitantly touched the top button of Lisa’s sleep shirt. “Just this one.”
Lisa nodded without much thought.
“Okay, then.”
Jennie’s fingers trembled slightly, undoing the top button as she said. She opened up the top of the shirt until Lisa’s collarbones were exposed, allowing Jennie to go over the area with the towel as well.
Once she was satisfied, Jennie picked up the other dry towel and went over Lisa’s face and neck again, making sure to leave her skin cool but not wet.
“Done,” she whispered.
She stared at Lisa’s eyes for a few seconds, expecting any sort of reply. Lisa continued to look at her, now with a small upturn of her lips.
“What?”
Lisa looked down at her shirt, then back at Jennie.
“Oh.” Jennie brought both of her hands to the lapels of her shirt, pulling them close and redoing the button as before. “Sorry.”
“Nothing to be sorry about.”
Jennie refused to give Lisa the satisfaction of seeing her blush.
She left the room again to put away the towels and empty the bowl. But as she was about to leave the kitchen and go back, she paused in front of the fridge. Lisa was too weak to cook, and Jennie had time to spare.
A frown appeared on her face once she opened the ridiculously empty fridge.
“I need your keys.”
Lisa furrowed her brows at the request. “My keys?”
“House keys,” Jennie clarified, still standing by Lisa’s bed expectantly.
“Why?”
“I need to go out for a moment.”
Keys would have made it easier to come back in, but primarily, she didn’t want Lisa to have to leave her bed to open the door again. Jennie didn’t mention it.
After Lisa told her where to find them, Jennie didn’t wait around before leaving the house.
She made her way to the nearest supermarket, adding everything she thought Lisa needed to her trolley. Plenty of fruit and vegetables, rice, eggs, chicken and turkey, and some yoghurt. She also got some chamomile, preferring it over caffeinated drinks. After picking a few more ingredients that she needed, she ended her shopping trip by grabbing several microwavable containers.
With her hands full of grocery bags, Jennie walked back to Lisa’s apartment. She unlocked the door as quietly as she could, making her way inside and immediately checking up on Lisa. The girl was thankfully asleep.
Jennie spent the remainder of the evening in Lisa’s kitchen, using her recent shopping to prepare chicken soup. The process was a little lengthy, but Jennie took advantage of the waiting times to tidy up Lisa’s living room. She disposed of the empty ramen containers and put away the sealed ones on the very top shelf of Lisa’s cupboard.
As she freely moved around Lisa’s home, Jennie couldn’t help but wonder when did she get so comfortable with the place. She still recalled the absurdity of the first night she was invited in, analysing every bit of that house in hopes of deciphering any part of Lisa’s life. They had come a long way, Jennie thought, scanning over the details that used to fill her with curiosity back then.
And in that moment, her eyes were drawn to a new addition to Lisa’s wall of pictures. Jennie had learnt to recognise the faces of Lisa’s loved ones, from her parents to her childhood friends, but it seemed that Lisa had added one more person to the list. Printed on glossy paper was now the photo Jennie took when Lisa slept over at Chaeyoung’s, stuck to the wall with only clear tape.
Jennie’s initial look of surprise morphed into a fond smile, the lack of a frame weirdly amusing but still fitting of Lisa.
The warm feeling in her chest remained as she served a portion of the soup in a bowl, though she tried to convince herself to ignore it knowing it wasn’t the right time and place to acknowledge it. Freeing herself from those thoughts, Jennie carried the hot soup to Lisa’s room and placed it on the nightstand.
Lisa looked very peaceful while asleep. Jennie felt bad when she had to shake her awake, calling out her name softly.
“You need to eat before you sleep,” Jennie told her as Lisa rubbed her eyes.
Staring at the steaming bowl next to her, Lisa seemed rather surprised that Jennie had cooked for her.
Jennie simply waited.
“You didn’t have to do any of this, you know?”
“I wanted to.”
“Still, I’m sure it wasn’t in your plans to stay here the whole evening.”
“I’m going to start spoon-feeding you if you don’t stop talking nonsense,” Jennie threatened.
Lisa clearly wanted to protest, but Jennie’s stern gaze made her rethink.
As Lisa ate her meal quietly, Jennie returned to the stove. Now that the leftovers had cooled down, she stored them in two airtight containers, before leaving them in Lisa’s restocked fridge. She washed the pots and utensils she used and cleaned the counter, ensuring the place was spotless.
Lisa had finished eating when Jennie returned with a full water bottle. She argued a little when Jennie tried to take the dirty dishes from her, insisting she would clean them herself. Jennie didn’t let her, instead telling her to head to the bathroom to wash up and get ready for bedtime like a child.
And then, Lisa was finally comfortable in bed. Jennie returned to her side one last time, leaving some medication and a clean glass beside Lisa’s water bottle.
“I don’t want you to take meds unless it’s necessary, but I’ll leave it here in case you get worse overnight. You shouldn’t,” she added, “but just to be safe.”
“Thank you.”
“And make sure to drink plenty of water. It’s important to stay hydrated.”
“Okay.”
“Oh, and there’s still some soup in the fridge. I made it in abundance so that you have your meals ready for tomorrow. There’s also rice and some steamed vegetables if you get tired of soup.” She pointed her index at Lisa. “And don’t you dare make ramen again. I will find out if you do.”
Lisa laughed weakly. “Okay, I won’t. And thank you, again.”
Jennie nodded satisfied, looking around in case she had missed anything. Lisa still looked at her, hesitating before speaking up.
“Are you not going to say anything?”
Jennie raised an eyebrow in question. “What do you want me to say?”
“I don’t know… I thought you came to tell me off about what happened.”
“You mean the way you ignored me for three days? Yeah. That was shitty. But you’re ill, so I’ll save it for another time.”
“That’s not what I meant,” Lisa shook her head.
Jennie knew exactly what she meant.
“Well, we can talk about what you meant after you’ve gotten better.”
Lisa pushed her arm out of her blanket to hold Jennie’s hand, pulling her closer until she sat next to her on the bed. “I’m really sorry, Jennie.”
Jennie also knew what Lisa’s apology was referring to, but that was not what she wanted. She didn’t want Lisa to be sorry for kissing her.
“I’ll accept your apology for ghosting me. And for hiding that you were ill.”
Even when Lisa was about to fall asleep, she still managed a tiny eye roll. Jennie just smiled knowingly.
“I’ll be back tomorrow to see how you’re doing.”
“You really don’t have to—”
“Lisa,” Jennie placed two fingers on the girl’s lips. “With all due respect, shush.”
Although she didn’t let herself react, Jennie noted that Lisa’s lips felt just as soft under the pads of her fingers as they did on her own lips three days ago.
“You’re leaving?” Lisa asked.
Jennie moved her fingers to Lisa’s cheek, unconsciously rubbing her thumb over it.
“Yeah. I think it’s the only way you’ll actually get some rest.”
“Not true,” Lisa mumbled with half opened eyes. As if she had not been trying to keep herself awake as long as possible for Jennie.
Jennie lifted her hand to push back Lisa’s bangs from her forehead. She looked down at Lisa’s curious gaze for a moment, before leaning in and pressing her lips to her forehead gently.
“Get well soon,” she whispered, her face hovering just above Lisa’s nose. She smiled when she saw Lisa’s ears turning red. She was pretty sure it was not related to her condition. “It’s a real shame you’re sick right now.”
Lisa audibly took an intake of breath. “Why?”
“Oh, wouldn’t you like to know?”
Once Lisa got better, Jennie was totally going to kiss her senseless.
----
Taking care of Lisa should have put Jennie’s mind at rest. After ensuring Lisa knew how to look after herself while sick, Jennie shouldn’t have spent most of her time the next day worrying about her. Truthfully, she would have been at peace if Lisa had answered her call and said she was resting and eating well, but no.
Lisa had the audacity to tell her she went to work because she claimed she felt much better.
How was Jennie supposed to keep calm when she had to deal with a Lisa that didn’t listen to her?
As she was stuck in her office, Jennie could barely focus, every cell in her body longing to leave everything and go check on that stubborn girl. But unfortunately, putting her work on hold right before the holidays was a luxury she could not afford. Her team’s priority was to make sure everything went smoothly after New Year’s, including Taeyang’s cover photoshoot. And as their leader, Jennie had to push herself to do the same, if not more.
Mina had notified her that Taeyang was scheduled to come in as soon as the holiday season was over. She had also tentatively asked Jennie if she had spoken to him yet, and Jennie didn’t hesitate when she said she’d rather jump off a cliff than contact him first.
“I informed him you’d be assisting the fittings. He didn’t have much of a reaction.”
“Interesting,” was all Jennie said.
The fact that both she and Taeyang knew that they’d inevitably meet, yet neither tried to contact the other, showed that they were on the same page about one thing.
At least Jennie didn’t have to worry about anyone being shocked by their unwanted reunion. She wasn’t looking forward to it, but she was slowly coming to terms with the fact that maybe it was the only opportunity she’d get to speak to him about how they ended things.
But Taeyang was extremely low in her list of priorities. And even when she was dying to see her, Lisa didn’t hold the top spot either.
Jennie reserved that space for a grumpy high schooler.
As much as Jennie would have loved to rush over to Lisa’s after work, she had promised Ella that she’d help her pick an outfit for a date. And given that it was the first time her little sister had contacted her first, Jennie could never say no.
“I liked the first pair of jeans. They weren’t too long nor too tight on you.”
Ella twirled in front of the mirror. The curtain of the changing room was open for Jennie to see the outfit on her.
“Are you sure? I don’t know if the colours match.”
“I think denim looks good with the cream cardigan,” Jennie pointed out. “But if you want to keep the skirt, we can look for another top for more contrast.”
While fashion was pretty much her area of expertise, she wanted Ella to go with her own preferences. Besides, she could tell that Ella didn’t contact her solely for fashion advice.
“What did you say this was for, again?”
Ella pressed her lips together. “Just for… hanging out.”
“Yeah? With who?” Jennie pushed.
“No one important,” Ella said, avoiding eye contact as she closed the curtain once again.
“Do your parents know?”
“My parents?”
“You’re the one that still needs permission from them.”
Ella sighed. “No.”
“What was that?”
“They don’t know,” Ella repeated, annoyed. “Have you never lied to them about where you were?”
“All the time,” Jennie laughed. “But you’re gonna have to tell me where you’re really going and with who, missy.”
Ella pushed the curtains open and huffed at Jennie’s knowing smirk. “You already met him. I don’t get why you’re pretending not to know.”
“What? I can’t tease my little sister for being excited about a first date?” Jennie grabbed the clothes Ella wasn’t going to keep and handed them to an employee. It seemed like Ella accepted her advice without much thought.
“I’m not excited,” Ella rolled her eyes, walking towards the cashier with Jennie in tow. “He’s just taking me out to the movies.”
“How sweet,” Jennie said, “I hope it goes well.”
“You don’t think it’s cliché or anything?” Ella questioned as they joined the queue to the checkout.
“Not at all, I think it’s lovely. I’ve also been to the movies with someone not too long ago.”
“And what happened after?”
Jennie wanted to laugh. What happened after was complete turmoil.
“Well, you’ll just know at the end of the date whether you feel a… connection.”
“Did you feel it?”
“Yeah,” Jennie nodded, passing her card for the cashier to swipe before Ella could pull out her pocket money. “I did.”
“Really?”
Ella sounded surprised.
Jennie couldn’t blame her since she never mentioned it. She merely nodded as she accepted the paper bag from the cashier and led Ella out of the store.
“Who was it?”
“Why so interested all of a sudden?”
Ella crossed her arms. “You know who I’m going on a date with. It’s only right that you tell me who you’re seeing too.”
“I’m not seeing anyone yet.”
“Yet? Oh my god, you’re totally in a situationship.”
“What the hell is a situationship?”
Ella rolled her eyes. “An undefined relationship, Jennie. Keep up with the times. It means you’re with someone but without clear commitment.”
Jennie stopped dead in her tracks. “That is not my case.”
If anything, Ella was describing her relationship with Sana. Lisa was different.
Jennie was serious about Lisa, and Lisa didn’t seem like the type to lead someone on without commitment. The only two possible outcomes were a relationship or rejection and maybe a damaged friendship. But given that Lisa had been the one to kiss her first, she wanted to believe the feelings were mutual.
“No?”
“I’m friends with this person, currently.”
“Oh,” Ella nodded. “You’re in that stage.”
“Yes. The same stage you are.”
Ella slapped her arm as they continued walking. “At least I got a date.”
“At least I got a kiss,” Jennie rebutted looking away.
“No, you didn’t!” Ella gasped, and Jennie couldn’t help but throw her head back laughing at Ella’s look of shock.
Maybe it was not a big deal to most people, but Jennie never got to speak to her sister about people she liked or discuss topics like first dates and cute outfits. She had given that up when she moved to another country during Ella’s teen years, and Ella didn’t give her the opportunity to make amends once she returned.
“How long has it been?” Ella questioned when they reached the bus stop. The family’s driver was instructed to pick her up from there, and Jennie made sure they waited far enough from the main road so that she wasn’t seen by him.
“We’re not together just yet, I told you.”
Ella laughed lightly. “You sound awfully confident. But I meant how long from your last relationship.”
“Oh.” Jennie paused, trying to add up the dates in her head. “Five months or so?”
“Really?” Ella sounded surprised. “I thought it had been a lot longer.”
“What makes you say that? You didn’t even know him.”
“No, I know that, but like,” Ella looked down sheepishly. “I didn’t see you post him for a while before that.”
Jennie would have immediately pointed out Ella’s online stalking like usual if it wasn’t for the fact that she did raise a good point. “Is that so? I didn’t notice.”
“I’m just saying it because I used to see photos of you with him all the time. And then it stopped, so I assumed you broke up.”
She and Taeyang used to take a lot of pictures together, whether it was on a date or simply hanging out at home. Or even in his stupid car when he drove her around. Jennie didn’t remember when the habit stopped altogether.
“Maybe it’s because we didn’t take as many photos anymore.”
“But you still posted pictures of yourself.”
“Are you calling me vain?”
“What? No!” Ella held her hands up defensively. “I just find it weird. If you still spent time together but didn’t feel the need to take pictures with him, that says a lot, right?”
“Right.”
“And he wasn’t even commenting on your photos.”
“Were you stalking my comments too?”
“Monitoring!”
Jennie smiled. “I get your point. And maybe your observations have a meaning.”
“How so?”
Jennie shrugged. “We took less photos because we had less moments worth remembering. That must have been why.”
“Oh,” Ella looked at her thoughtfully. “Is that why you broke up with him?”
“He broke up with me,” Jennie sighed, “you’d have to ask him if that was the reason.”
“Why don’t you just ask him then?”
Jennie narrowed her eyes. “Is everything so straightforward to you?”
Ella nodded. “If you don’t know something, you just have to ask.”
“I’m doing just fine without knowing,” Jennie lied. “As I said, I’m moving on. With someone much better.”
“Will I get to meet him some day?” Ella questioned suddenly.
“Her,” Jennie corrected softly, waiting for Ella’s reaction.
Ella’s curious expression didn’t change. She simply raised a brow.
“Well, will I get to meet her some day?”
“That’s a big step, no?”
“If you think so,” Ella shrugged. “I never met anyone you dated.”
“You’ve never wanted to.”
“I do now.”
Jennie pursed her lips as she thought about it. If they made it far enough into a relationship, would Lisa be ready to meet Jennie’s only family? Would Jennie be prepared to share that part of herself with a significant other? It would be the first time for her as well.
“It’s too soon to tell,” she ended up saying. “Way too early.”
She expected Ella to accept it and move on to another topic, but her sister jutted out her bottom lip at her reply.
“What?”
“You’re not telling me anything.”
“Why do you want to know so badly?”
“I just…” Ella sighed, putting her hands in her jacket pockets. “I don’t know anything about your life. Except the parts you post on socials.”
“Ella,” Jennie called, bringing her hands up to form a V under her sister’s chin, the shopping bags hanging from her wrists. Ella annoyingly grew to be taller than her. “I’ll always be an open book for you. You’ve always been part of my life, even if you just started to let me back into yours.”
Before Ella could react, Jennie lightly pinched both of her cheeks. “And if this guy dares to break your heart, I will break his legs.”
Ella finally laughed. She stayed silent for a few seconds, smiling down at the ground. Then, she revealed that she had been liking Soobin for two years.
Two years.
Jennie was initially shocked that her sister could go so long with a crush without ever making any sort of move, but she understood that everything seemed a lot harder in high school. Ella explained how she was terrified of her feelings not being mutual, claiming a one-sided crush was a lot better than rejection.
Suddenly, Jennie was even more impressed that Lisa had the courage to confess all those years ago.
And when she offhandedly mentioned it to Ella, her sister just had to ask her to retell the whole story.
Ella listened with a glint in her eyes, seemingly thinking that her history with Lisa was a sign of destiny. And as she found herself describing how Lisa made her feel, Jennie couldn’t help but feel like maybe it really was.
----
The walk to Lisa’s workplace was very calm. The weather wasn’t messing with Jennie for once. It didn’t rain, so she wasn’t worried about being splashed, but it was still extremely cold. So much that she could see her breath every time she exhaled. She wondered if it was about time for the first snow. At least she knew that Ella would be making her way home in a car with heating.
Even from a distance, Jennie could recognise Lisa’s silhouette. The girl appeared to be closing up the place, meaning that Jennie caught her right at the end of her shift. The sound of her heels against cement gave away her presence very soon. Lisa turned towards her like she knew how her steps sounded by heart.
“Seriously? It’s freezing outside, and you’re wearing this?” she motioned to Lisa’s outfit. The girl only wore a hoodie and baggy jeans like they were in the middle of spring instead of the low, near-winter temperatures.
Lisa only smiled at her sheepishly, seemingly happy to see her regardless of the immediate scolding.
“I only have to go upstairs, and I’ll be home,” Lisa explained like it was the most obvious thing.
Jennie frowned. “And that’s exactly why you got sick.”
When she was finally in front of Lisa, Jennie wordlessly took off her scarf and wrapped it around Lisa’s neck instead.
“Better.”
“It smells like you,” Lisa murmured.
“That’s Chanel N°5 for you.”
“Then it smells expensive as well.”
Lisa looked at her fondly. Jennie gently touched the ends of the scarf hanging between them.
“How are you feeling?”
“I woke up much better today than the past three days.”
“I wonder why,” Jennie commented sarcastically.
She was glad Lisa got better. Her voice was back to normal, and she didn’t fall apart after a day of work, so that was definitely progress.
They both stood in front of the now closed shop, neither making a move to head upstairs.
“Are we gonna stay here all night?”
Jennie shook her head, feeling like she would ruin their moment if she made a single step.
She held up two fingers. “I have two things to tell you.”
“Okay. What are they?”
“First,” Jennie pressed her index forcefully on Lisa’s chest, poking her intentionally. “I really, really hated how we’ve been these past days. I don’t like it when you’re cold to me. It made me feel awful.”
“And I am extremely sorry about it,” Lisa apologised sincerely. “I never want you to feel like that around me.”
“Don’t do that again. I’d rather you talk to me. Like adults. No more running away. Got it?”
Jennie’s dramatic tone and sad pout were not exactly adult-like, but she hoped she got the point across. If Lisa ever had issues with her, she’d prefer her to be honest about it. So that she could figure out how to fix it.
“I will. I promise,” Lisa said. Then, she nervously asked, “What’s the second?”
Jennie looked down at her hands, twisting the scarf ends until she had them wrapped in her fists. She then looked up at Lisa, pulling her head lower with her hold until her mouth was close enough to kiss.
While Lisa wasn’t completely healed, a peck wouldn’t hurt. She let their lips meet with the gentlest touch, and somehow that was all Jennie needed to feel like everything was okay.
“The second is that you don’t get to kiss me like that and leave me hanging.”
“I…” Lisa was left speechless, but she didn’t dare to step back. She gladly let Jennie hold her close by the neck. “What does this mean?”
“What does this mean?” Jennie laughed quietly. “How about the meaning of what you did the other day?”
“Jennie… I need to know what you expect from me. I thought you wanted to find someone to date, but now you’re here and… I need to know what you want. Please.”
Jennie furrowed her brows. “Isn’t it obvious? I just want you to give me a chance.”
Lisa’s jaw dropped in disbelief. She looked at Jennie like she had gone insane. “Give you a chance?”
“Yeah.”
Their noses were barely touching, distracting Jennie. It would be easy to kiss her again.
“You want me,” she paused to point at herself, “to give you a chance?”
Jennie swallowed. “Yes.”
And then Lisa snorted. “You’re unbelievable.”
“Well, if I’m being unbelievable then tell me what you want from me?”
“Everything!” Lisa answered exasperated. “You’re asking me, the girl that had a crush on you in high school, that basically kissed the ground you walked on, to give you a chance?”
“That was in high school. It’s not the same. I’m not…” Jennie looked away nervously, “I’m not the same way I used to be when I was eighteen. I don’t think the crush you had on me is valid anymore.”
“Yeah,” Lisa said quietly. “Back then I thought you were straight and still fell for you. And now, you’re an adult and you speak to me and you’re still as beautiful as the day I first saw you, if not even more than that. And as a cherry on top, you’re also openly into girls. What do you think that makes of my silly high school crush, huh?”
“I was into girls back then as well.”
“Not into me,” Lisa argued.
“I’m definitely into you now,” Jennie said confidently.
Lisa was really just arguing with the wall. Jennie’s only worry had been making sure that Lisa liked her back, but apparently the other girl had the exact same concern in her head about Jennie’s feelings.
But then, Lisa’s hand came up to her cheek, tilting Jennie’s head back lightly. Her eyes were searching Jennie’s, as if to spot any sign that this moment was all a figment of her imagination. Jennie was certain that she found the answer she had been looking for.
“I lied,” Lisa said bluntly.
“Huh?”
“That day on the terrace, when I promised you that I wasn’t hiding anything else,” she clarified. “I lied. I was hiding the biggest part of it all.”
“That being?”
“That all the words I wrote in that letter started to become my reality again.” Lisa smiled faintly to herself, presumably relieved to admit the words out loud. “All I think about is you. How pretty you look when you smile at me, how warm your hand is when you hold mine, how good your voice sounds when you’re calling my name. My week is now differentiated by days with Jennie and days without Jennie.”
Lisa’s eyes dropped down to her lips then, her thumb tracing them delicately. “And for the past few days… well, all I’ve been thinking about was…”
Jennie didn’t need to hear her say it to know. After all, Jennie hadn’t been able to get the taste of Lisa’s lips out of her head either.
Even when she didn’t have a letter, Lisa had been able to express her feelings so well that all Jennie could do was stare at her in awe. Dating other people had been such a waste of time, Jennie concluded. How could she ever settle for anyone else when Lisa set her standards so high?
“So, what you’re saying is—”
“What I’m saying is that I never stood a chance. Do you know how long I’ve been trying to bury it? How hard I tried to force myself to stop imagining an us whenever I looked into your eyes? Only for me to fall for you all over again in less than a month. God, I felt so stupid for making the same mistake twice. And now you’re here, standing in front of me, asking for a chance?”
Jennie couldn’t help it. Lisa’s cheeks turned pink, and she was a little out of breath from the long speech. She looked too pretty. And Jennie was weak and not good with words, so she kissed her, a little longer than before but still chastely. Lisa certainly wasn’t complaining, moving her hand to hold Jennie’s jaw and kiss her again when she was about to retreat.
Jennie didn’t want to know how dumb her grin looked when Lisa let her pull away. She felt too happy to care.
“That’s correct,” she said simply.
“Jennie, I’d give you the moon if you asked me,” Lisa said against her lips.
“I don’t want the moon. I want you.”
“You have me. You’ve had me all this time.”
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