Chapter Text
Minatozaki Sana had always had all eyes on her.
When Jennie first met her, with her long hair dyed orange and a cigarette between her fingers, she thought that Sana wasn’t the big deal people made her out to be. They were the same age, attended the same university under different courses, and yet Jennie couldn’t think of a single reason to approach her. The girl used to live in her same student dorms, waking up past midday and coming home way after midnight, reeking of smoke or alcohol, or both. Finding herself in Sana’s orbit had been a nuisance, really.
It was really different from her life in Seoul. Jennie had never drunk alcohol or smoked; either habit would have gotten her in serious trouble with her school and parents. While she had liked to hang out around people that were far from innocent, she never partook in the deviant activities herself.
Sana changed it all.
Sometimes Jennie wondered if her pretence had been obvious from the start. If the way her eyes were irrevocably drawn to the other girl had been apparent all along. Because, after all, the real reason Jennie had always highlighted her disdain for Sana was to hide the immense attraction she hid underneath it. A type of attraction that she spent years suppressing.
It had been unfamiliar territory. Jennie had never even got the chance to explore anything with a girl. She never had the time to understand what those feelings meant, too preoccupied in ensuring they were never shown in the first place.
Except, there wasn’t much one could hide from Minatozaki Sana. She always knew who had an interest in her. She looked at Jennie with that mischievous glint in her eyes, one that made Jennie weak in the knees.
Initially, Jennie wanted to avoid anything and everything related to the orange-haired beauty. She didn’t want to speak to her, nor be in her proximity if it could’ve been avoided. Sana never chased after her. Sana didn’t chase after anyone. Not when she had anyone and everyone at her feet without lifting a finger.
Jennie was thankful for Sana’s indifference. Until it started to bother her.
Because the next thing she noticed was that Minatozaki Sana didn’t hide.
It happened multiple times. Jennie would come back late from her classes, or Sana would return too early from wherever she spent her nights. Jennie’s dorm windows had a clear view of the entrance of the building, so she could hardly miss the guests that Sana brought over. Always women, always beautiful. While they usually went up to Sana’s place in a rush, sometimes they loitered outside, unknowingly under Jennie’s watchful eyes.
At the start, Jennie simply panicked and shut her curtains immediately. Then, she began to pause a few minutes before deciding to look away. Until she simply stopped pretending that she didn’t like the view.
That was how Jennie first witnessed how Sana liked to kiss women. She also noticed how Sana’s hands were always wandering, whether it was over someone’s jeans or under their shirts.
Sana always knew she was watching. Sana always made sure to look in her direction at least once, because Sana liked that Jennie wanted to watch.
Jennie had been ready for glaring and yelling. She expected to be told off for shamelessly staring at not-so-private moments. But Sana didn’t do any of that. No, Minatozaki Sana always flashed her a smirk and continued like she never saw her.
At the time, Jennie had known she was being tested. Sana wanted to push all her buttons to see how far Jennie was willing to go. But she never made a move.
Every time she saw the other girl, Sana acted as if nothing happened. Indifference, as usual.
But it went from making Jennie feel reassured, to driving her insane. She felt an envy she had never experienced before. When Sana batted her eyelashes at pretty girls, giggling at jokes that Jennie was certain were not that funny, when she gave subtle touches that never went unnoticed by Jennie… it was then that she started to wonder.
How would it feel to have Minatozaki’s attention? How would it feel to have her hand tracing her skin? How would it feel to kiss her lips until she was left breathless?
Back then, those questions scared her tremendously.
But now, as she looked at a more grown version of Sana, she felt like it had been inevitable.
The orange hair was gone, now in her gorgeous natural brown instead. Her eyes were somehow brighter… kinder, too. That daring, rebellious spark had vanished completely. She also wore fashionable loose jeans with a plain white cardigan. Not the mini-skirts and leather jackets that filled her wardrobe years ago. But she was still absolutely stunning, Jennie wouldn’t deny it. Truthfully, Sana’s fashion sense had always been great.
“Sorry, I wasn’t prepared for any guests.” The girl held down the lid of a white tea pot as she poured the hot drink into a matching cup. “I hope lemon and ginger is fine.”
“It’s great,” Jennie replied quietly, still a little in disbelief. Sana was right in front of her, offering tea and biscuits, with a gentle tone that made her feel welcome. “I’ll be honest, this coincidence feels absurd.”
Sana smiled. “I suppose I felt the same, though I was prepared in advance.” She leaned back on the sofa opposite Jennie, picking up her own teacup. “When I read Jennie Kim on that package I received by mistake, I tried to convince myself it couldn’t be you. But it opened the possibility that it might be.”
“Is that why you didn’t return it to me in person?”
“That’s part of it,” Sana said. “I also don’t really greet new neighbours. The less I give them reasons to be in my business, the more they mind theirs.”
“I see,” Jennie nodded. “Is it because of your modelling? Do people recognise you?”
Once again, Sana only smiled. An innocent smile that gave nothing away. “Again, that’s part of it. But I see you’ve kept up with my life?”
Jennie laughed, shaking her head. “Not in the slightest. It just happens that your career is sometimes relevant to mine.”
“Hmm. Tokyo, almost two years ago, if I recall correctly.”
Jennie raised her eyebrow, surprised. “Oh, you did know.”
The fact that she could name the time and place was news to Jennie. Sana had not looked at her even once throughout that event. For her own sanity, she just assumed Sana had not noticed she was there too.
“So did you,” Sana rebutted. “I was on the runway wearing the name of the label you design for. You must have known before me.”
“I found out at the event, actually. I wasn’t involved with that collection, so I didn’t know who was going to model for us.”
“And even then, you didn’t want to speak to me?”
“I wasn’t sure if you would have wanted me to.”
It was a fair concern. Whatever they had back then couldn’t have been classified as a relationship, and the way they ended things hadn’t exactly been a breakup. It had been easy to fall in love with Sana, and Jennie was sure the girl loved that. But Sana had never loved anyone enough, or at least, not for long. Some days Sana would look at her like she was her world, and the next her gaze was empty. Until there was nothing left.
“Oh. I’m sorry if that’s how I came across. It’s not the case, I promise you.”
“I can tell,” Jennie commented, gesturing to their current setting. “I’m guessing I wouldn’t be here right now if it was.”
“Well, I was hoping we’d run into each other eventually. I’ve always wanted to personally apologise for how I went about things in the past. You really didn’t deserve it, even though I’m sure you already know that.”
Out of everything Jennie was expecting Sana to say, an apology wasn’t on the list. She was taken aback by the sincerity in her voice, waiting for some sort of catch.
Jennie didn’t think that Sana ever realised how much she hurt people, but that was only because she never did it intentionally. The girl had always made it clear that she didn’t look for love or a relationship.
“It wasn’t your fault that people wanted more than you could offer, Sana.”
“You were not just anyone, Jennie. I convinced you to be with me even when it scared you. And then I just left.”
“I’m sure you were aware that I didn’t need that much convincing.” Jennie smiled softly. “And I knew you couldn’t stay. It’s what made everyone want you even more.”
While Sana leaving had hurt her, Jennie had always been prepared for it. It would have never worked out with her. Jennie had been willing to put all the effort into making an impossible relationship work, while Sana saw love as a day-by-day test that was destined to fail someday.
For a moment, Jennie was reminded of Lisa’s drunken words. She couldn’t hold a grudge over someone who was so clearly never meant for her.
“I could have definitely handled it better than just slowly disappearing from your life. You told me how you’d never been with a girl before and I wasn’t a very good first… relationship, of sorts.”
“That’s not true,” Jennie insisted. “You were always kind to me. And a huge part in helping me accept myself for who I am. I’m not sure how my life would be right now if I had never met you, and I wouldn’t want to find out either. I accept your apology if that worries you, but I don’t have regrets.”
Sana's shoulders fell in relief, the concern on her face finally fading to welcome a grateful smile. “I’m happy to hear that, really. And I’m very proud to see the person you’ve become.”
“I could say the same,” said Jennie with a bright tone. “I’ve seen your success in Japan. I didn’t know you lived in Korea now.”
“I… yeah, I moved here last year. Fairly recent, I guess.”
“For your job?”
“Not really, no,” Sana finished her last sip of tea, placing it back on the coffee table gently. “It’s more than that.”
“More?”
Jennie didn’t get the time to express her confusion as little taps came from the stairs. Suddenly, two tiny dogs made their way to them. The first had golden-coloured fur, noticeably energetic as it ran towards the front door and sat a few feet away from it, tail wagging side to side. The second one, with black fur instead, moved timidly to Sana’s feet, the girl not hesitating before picking it up and placing it on her lap.
“This is Kaya,” Sana introduced excitedly, waving Kaya’s paw at Jennie. Kaya just stared with her big eyes, comfortable on Sana’s lap. Jennie waved back.
“And that’s Butter,” Sana motioned to the other dog near the door. “She knows her mum is coming back soon.”
“Her mum?”
As if on cue, the beeping of the keypad could be heard from outside, before the door opened.
The girl that entered was tall, Jennie noticed immediately. Tall and incredibly beautiful. She was met by Butter running up to her and circling around her. The girl leaned down to pick the dog up, smiling at the joyful welcome.
Jennie stood up once she approached them, receiving a curious and timid smile as they both bowed in greeting. Sana didn’t get up, instead opening her arms wide and beaming cheerfully.
“Welcome back my love!” she said in an extremely sweet voice.
The girl walked towards her and bent down, but unlike Jennie’s expectation of a hug, she simply kissed the top of Kaya’s head, petting her lovingly. Sana didn’t look disappointed, merely dropping her arms back down with the same radiant air around her.
Noticing Jennie awkwardly sitting back down, Sana spoke up.
“Tzuyu, this is Jennie, our neighbour. And an old friend of mine.”
Jennie tried to stop herself from showing any reaction at the mention of being an old friend. Instead, she just returned Tzuyu’s polite smile. Upon closer inspection, she noticed the girl had a lanyard around her neck, with an ID hanging from it. The details were too small to be read from a distance, but Jennie could clearly see the VETERINARIAN heading in big, bold letters.
“And Jennie, this is Chou Tzuyu.”
Just a name, no label. Jennie and Tzuyu exchanged pleasantries, until the taller girl had to head upstairs to what Jennie supposed was the master bedroom, like in her own apartment. Jennie kindly refused the offer to stay for dinner, partly because it felt too soon, but mostly because she was expecting Lisa to come around any minute.
Clearly, Tzuyu’s limited interaction with Sana was a great contrast to Sana’s loving gaze.
“That’s your girlfriend, right?”
Sana had stayed silent after Tzuyu left, rubbing behind Kaya’s ears and looking down at her with soft eyes. She didn’t seem shocked at Jennie’s observation.
“Yes. She is.”
“Is it serious?” Jennie dared to question.
It was clear as day that the girl that had just left was very dear to Sana. Jennie was just amazed that Sana wasn’t worried at the prospect of calling someone her girlfriend. Just the thought would have sent her running in the past.
Sana let out a surprised oh followed by a laugh at the dubious tone. “Well, I’d like to marry her someday, so I would say so. Pretty serious.”
“Wow. That’s new.”
Sana agreed.
“I have to say, she is quite different from your previous… type. I expected someone, I don’t know, overflowing with affection.”
“Oh, she is affectionate, just very private about it. But you’re right, she’s very different from everyone else I’ve been with.”
“How so?”
“Well, for starters, she didn’t fall at my feet the first time she saw me,” Sana said jokingly, making Jennie roll her eyes.
“How did you meet?” Jennie prompted.
“She was hired as a part-timer at the agency I work for. It was her first time modelling too, but she was so good at it.” Sana paused, trying to find the right wording. “I thought it was jealousy at first, you know? The attention she got… I thought that’s what I wanted from her.”
“What was it, then?”
“Her attention.” Sana sighed. “It was infuriating. Tzuyu doesn’t care about fame or the spotlight. My Tzu loves animals, and baking, and giving gifts to people, and… I wanted her to love me too. So badly.”
It was weird to hear Sana speak about her feelings so openly. Jennie wasn’t used to it. Although years had passed since they last spoke, she never anticipated such a change in Sana’s character. And all it took was one person.
“I’m guessing it went well if you’re together now?”
“She’s the reason I’m here. I had spent about a year blatantly flirting but didn’t make any serious advances. You should know what my track record in relationships looked like,” she laughed quietly, even though Jennie sensed some bitterness in the admission. “I couldn’t do that to her.”
Sana loved people’s attention. She wouldn’t have a career in the public eye otherwise. But even after all these years, the heartbreaker reputation was something she would never be proud of. Even Jennie was cautious of her when they started casually seeing each other, so she imagined that the doubts of someone Sana wanted as a girlfriend must have been much greater.
“But then… I realised that the only way to get what I truly wanted was to show her just how serious I was. I didn’t care about what I had to do or how, I just needed to prove it.”
“Moving to a different country is a big commitment,” Jennie commented.
“I am still very committed,” Sana replied proudly. “It’s weird. Thinking about the future used to terrify me. But that was until I finally envisioned it with her.”
“Well, I have to say that I’ve never seen you look this happy,” Jennie said earnestly. “And I hope it’s not a problem that I'm here since we have… history. I wouldn’t want her to get the wrong idea.”
“Oh, I wish she was bothered by it.” Sana rolled her eyes with an upturn of her lips. “But she knows very well that she has me wrapped around her finger.”
The Minatozaki Sana that Jennie knew would have never dared to admit that out loud. Perhaps that was what true love did to people.
Before Jennie got to reply, her phone rang. She pulled the device out of her pockets, immediately answering. As she heard Lisa’s voice notify her that she was in front of her door, Jennie assured her that she’d be out in a second. Lisa didn’t get to ask where she’d be coming out from.
When she mentioned having to leave to meet someone, Sana had stared at her intrigued. She enthusiastically walked Jennie to the door, opening it and letting her walk out first.
Lisa was startled by the sudden opening of a door beside her. She had been waiting in front of Jennie’s apartment, but when she noticed the girl exit a different one, she looked back at the door number with confusion.
“You got the right one, don’t worry,” Jennie quickly clarified as she walked closer.
Sana had kept her own door open, leaning against its frame with a clear view of the new guest. She still held Kaya with both hands, but her eyes assessed Lisa momentarily.
It was colder than most days, so Lisa was rightfully wearing a white puffer over her sweatshirt. She also had a scarf wrapped loosely around her neck, and the usual cap was replaced by a beanie. Jennie thought she looked adorable in it.
Lisa stepped back when Jennie approached, pressing the numbers on the keypad again and opening the door wide. “Go ahead, I’ll be with you in a second.”
There was an obvious look of concern from Lisa. Jennie reached out to touch her elbow gently, silently telling her there was nothing to worry about. Lisa briefly eyed Sana’s unreadable expression one last time before she made her way inside.
“Not bad, Jennie Kim. Not bad at all.”
Jennie ignored Sana’s knowing smirk. “I’ll see you around, Minatozaki.”
----
Something was definitely off.
Jennie had the habit of noticing every minor change in the behaviour of those she cared about. It was common for people to hide their negative feelings, Jennie included, so the only way she had to spot unusual behaviour was to pick up on subtle signs, the small differences that pointed to someone being upset.
And Lisa was acting… differently.
As soon as they were both inside Jennie’s apartment, Lisa took off her jacket and went straight to work. She had obviously said hello, how are you, and engaged in the usual small talk.
But Jennie was confident that they had moved past the small talk stage long ago.
They had not seen each other in a couple of days, but Jennie didn’t receive the same big smile or the warm hug that she got at the airport. Lisa’s eyes were evasive, her voice detached, the polar opposite of everything Jennie knew. As she was stuck staring at Lisa’s back, Jennie couldn’t help but frown.
What happened to her Lisa?
“You don’t have to do that right now, you know?”
Lisa pressed the blade of her utility knife through the tape of yet another of the boxes from Jennie’s move-in, opening the flaps and staring at the contents to avoid looking up.
“It’s fine. The faster we unpack, the sooner we’ll be done.”
Jennie’s frown deepened.
“You just arrived. Are you in that much of a rush to leave?”
While she still refused to turn around and speak to her eye-to-eye, Jennie noticed Lisa’s shoulders stiffen just slightly.
“Of course not,” Lisa said monotonously. “But that’s why I’m here, no? To help you sort this stuff out.”
Wrong, Jennie thought as she took several steps closer. She grabbed Lisa’s arm, halting her movements. “Okay, out with it. What’s the issue?”
“There is no issue,” Lisa replied shortly, moving Jennie’s hand away and continuing with her unpacking.
The problem with Lisa was that she was never outright cold. Or at least, never with Jennie. Even if the intention was to push her away, Jennie still felt the kindness in Lisa’s touch as her fingers grasped her hand, making the task of being inquisitive a lot harder than it should be.
Sensing a slight tension between them wouldn’t justify all the questions Jennie wanted to ask. Lisa had a way of telling her that everything was okay without saying a word, but this time, Jennie believed she simply wanted her to think that it was. Somehow, she felt that Lisa was trying to think so too.
There was hardly any work for Jennie to do given that Lisa had done her best to keep herself busy. Constantly out of Jennie’s way. If Jennie did so much as to grab items from the same box as Lisa, the other girl pulled away like she had been burnt and moved on to a different one.
Jennie didn’t like it at all. She wasn’t sure if the reasons behind Lisa’s change in mood included herself, but she felt helpless for not being able to make it better. Lisa probably wouldn’t even allow her to.
The thought of spending the whole evening like that was dreadful.
Jennie didn’t want to push more than she had already tried. Instead, she attempted to give Lisa some space by sorting out the items for her bedroom. She carried all the clothes by herself, refusing Lisa’s offer to help bring the suitcases upstairs. For a moment, she could see the dilemma in Lisa’s eyes. Even when she was distant, caring for others seemed to be in her nature.
Ninety full minutes. That’s how long they spent apart while being under the same roof. Too long for Jennie’s liking. It felt extremely strange not to be in Lisa’s vicinity after she spent the whole day looking forward to seeing her. Alone in her bedroom with her doubts and worries, Jennie kept wondering if Lisa would come and find her, demonstrating once more that she wasn’t the only one that missed the other. But Lisa never did.
Unlike Lisa, Jennie couldn’t stay away. Maybe Lisa’s willpower was just stronger than hers.
As soon as she had organised her wardrobe and desk, she swiftly moved back downstairs, finding Lisa flattening all the empty boxes and placing them in a neat stack.
“You’re done already?” Jennie asked, surprised.
There had been at least a dozen boxes. Now, they were all gone. Of course Lisa didn’t come to see her when she had been too occupied to clear her entire living room.
“Yeah, it wasn’t that much.”
Certainly not much when Lisa had given all her attention to unpacking instead of sharing it with Jennie.
“Wow, okay. Well, thank you very much for the help.” Jennie smiled, even though her low mood was likely showing. “I…”
She looked around, not knowing what to say to convince Lisa to stay. The conversation was nearing a goodbye a lot sooner than she expected.
“You’re done with the bedroom?”
“Yeah, it’s all good upstairs.”
Not really. Jennie had not unpacked anything in her studio, but she didn’t need to give Lisa yet another excuse to avoid her.
They stood in silence for a few seconds. Lisa with her hands in her pockets, Jennie leaning against the back of the sofa as her fingers tapped gently on the soft leather.
Food would be a topic that might prolong Lisa’s stay, Jennie pondered. Or she could tell her about the new project at work. Or maybe she could take advantage of Lia and Ryujin’s connection and ask how they were doing. Or perhaps—
“Are you that close to your neighbour?” Lisa asked suddenly.
Their eyes met briefly, before Lisa looked away immediately at the sight of Jennie’s surprise.
Frankly, Jennie had not expected Lisa to mention Sana at all. After all, they had merely seen each other for a few seconds in the corridor outside. The other girl must have made an impression for Lisa to ask about her, evidently.
“Oh… well, not exactly.”
“But enough to spend time inside her home?”
“Her name is Sana. She’s my… how do I put this?” Jennie looked down at her feet, feeling weirdly awkward about discussing an old flame. But if Lisa wanted to know, Jennie wasn’t going to hide it. Especially if answering would finally make Lisa go back to… normal. “We used to be together a few years ago.”
“Together?”
“Remember how I said I met someone in Paris?” Jennie prompted, hoping that would clear up the confusion.
“Your first girlfriend?”
If Jennie had been closer to her, she would have noticed Lisa’s eyes dimming more and more. Instead, she was just glad Lisa was talking to her, focusing on making sure she wouldn’t stop.
“Oh no, there were too many commitment issues to become official,” she laughed it off. Then, in a subtle attempt to give Lisa a reason to spend more time with her without being too obvious, she asked, “Do you want anything for dinner?”
“But you were in love?”
The dinner question had completely gone over Lisa’s head.
“I guess you could say I was,” Jennie pulled out her phone in the meantime, looking up her trusted food delivery app. “Won’t you look at this, I got a 10% off coupon!”
“Your first love?”
“Yep,” Jennie admitted without too much thought. She didn’t think she had been in love with any of her high school boyfriends, so by logic, Sana would have been her first love. Taeyang her second. Lisa hopefully her third—
“And say, would you consider giving it another shot now?”
Jennie had never heard Lisa sound so serious. The question had thrown her off so much that she could only laugh in amusement. Sana and she? Another shot?
“Absolutely not!” She shook her head over and over. “Why would I ever do that?”
Why would Jennie even look Sana’s way when Lisa was right in front of her? It was such a silly idea.
“I don’t know,” Lisa shrugged, looking at Jennie anxiously. “She’s your first love. It must have meant something.”
“It means nothing to me,” she was quick to address. “Trust me, getting over your first love is done more easily than most people make it out to be.”
“Most people don’t meet their first love again,” Lisa added. “But you did.”
“So?” Jennie’s brows furrowed. “It already didn’t work out once. It definitely won’t again.”
Was that what Lisa worried about? Did Jennie need to prove that Sana would never ever be a threat?
“Sometimes… sometimes feelings resurface.”
“It doesn’t work like that, Lisa.”
Jennie would not let someone from the past ruin her present.
“It does for me!”
If it hadn’t been for Lisa’s raised voice, Jennie wouldn’t have noticed how worked up the other girl got. But now that she looked closely, she could clearly see her chest rising and falling quickly with her agitated breath. And although Jennie still couldn’t figure out why, her eyes were so, so sad.
And then, Lisa must have realised it too.
Her eyes looked away from Jennie, searching for her jacket and grabbing it quickly once she spotted it.
“Shit. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” she started to mutter as she tried to leave.
Jennie didn’t let her.
“Oh, hell no, we’re not doing this.”
In a rush to stop Lisa, Jennie grabbed her arm more roughly than she intended, making her jolt back.
“Please,” Lisa pleaded, but Jennie was not having it.
“I’m not doing it, Lisa,” she said firmly. “I won’t go through the whole misunderstanding bullshit. Not with you.”
It was rather common, both in real life and in fiction, for a single moment to snowball into something it should never have turned into. Jennie knew that if she let Lisa slip away, the chances of clearing whatever had just happened would become slimmer. She couldn’t afford that risk.
Jennie wasn’t sure what convinced Lisa, but eventually, she stopped struggling against her grasp.
“First of all, I’m sorry if I offended you in any way,” she started, making sure to soften her tone from before. “She was my first love, yes. But I didn’t feel anything romantic when we met again. No sparks, no fireworks, only surprise. That’s why I said it doesn’t work for me.”
“You really don’t have to explain yourself to me, I don’t deserve it.”
“Lisa, I don’t know why, but I can tell I’ve upset you. But you have to believe me, I was only referring to Sana and I. That’s all there is to it. I promise.”
“You didn’t do anything wrong, Jennie. It’s all my fault. I got carried away.”
Jennie looked her in the eyes. “Carried away by what?”
The doorbell rang.
“You should get that.”
Timing didn’t seem to be on Jennie’s side that day. The immediate ease that settled in Lisa’s features was the only thing that stopped her from pushing for an answer. Lisa sounded awfully glad to have evaded the question, and Jennie couldn’t let the buzzing continue without answering.
With a slow sigh, Jennie walked away.
Upon answering the intercom, the concierge informed her that a delivery person was coming up to her floor with a package she needed to sign for.
It must have been her toaster.
Since moving, Jennie had spent multiple mornings without being able to toast her bread, and it started to become an issue. She had made the impulse purchase late at night, arranging for an evening delivery to make sure she was home to receive it. She was not going to suffer through another toast-less morning because of a missed parcel delivery.
Lisa had backtracked, not having put on her jacket yet. Jennie was just pleased that she got her to stay, even though she was ready for a change of topic.
The medium sized box she received had no indication of what it contained, but the FRAGILE labels were enough of an indication that it was indeed her kitchen appliance.
Finally, she could have her toast and coffee tomorrow.
Lisa had curiously watched her place the parcel on the kitchen island. She must have thought it was the perfect opportunity to forget about their previous conversations given how invested she was in watching Jennie unbox it.
While she had her back to the other girl, Jennie cut the tape around the opening, silently complaining that her dear toaster was able to interrupt her from getting answers. She couldn’t blame it too much, she thought, as she opened the box flaps. The toaster was just an innocent bystander. The minimum she could do was ensure that it arrived all in one piece.
There was only one, tiny problem.
Jennie’s eyes grew wide as she instantly shut the box again, too loudly to go unnoticed. She turned around, ready to keep the box hidden from Lisa, even though the girl had clearly witnessed her opening it.
That was NOT her toaster.
“What is it?” Lisa questioned amused.
Jennie would have been relieved at the uplifting tone if it wasn’t for what she had pressed behind her back.
“Nothing! It’s the toaster, just like I thought.”
She couldn’t lie to save her life. Lisa’s smile grew wider.
“Oh, come on, what are you hiding?”
Lisa began to step closer, which Jennie would have loved moments ago. Now, she had to make sure she could keep the box as far away as possible.
“I just told you, it’s the toaster.”
“Ah-ha, sure, that totally explains the guilty look on your face.”
“Why are you coming closer? Let’s head back to the living room.” Jennie tried to steer her away in vain. “We could order dinner now. It’s on me.”
“Jennie Kim,” Lisa called slowly, now standing right in front of Jennie. Without her heels, Jennie felt even smaller against her. “Are you perhaps hiding something… naughty?”
Naughty? No, no, no. Jennie was not going there. Sure, she lied about what was inside, but she would not let herself be defamed like that.
“No!” She yelled, sounding very scandalised. She wasn’t THAT lonely, for goodness’s sake. “It’s not that.”
“Are you sure?” Lisa teased, reaching behind Jennie’s back without raising suspicion.
Unfortunately, Jennie was too focused on how close Lisa’s mouth was to pay attention. Letting her guard down, she stopped being on alert for two seconds. Two seconds to blatantly stare at Lisa’s full lips.
And that was all it took for Lisa to grab the box and run away, Jennie fast on her tail.
“Give it back!”
Lisa laughed like a child, placing the box in the living room. “I bet it’s not a toaster!”
Too fast for Jennie to reach her, Lisa had enough time to open it without any interruptions, a shit-eating grin adorning her lips, likely still believing her initial assumption. Jennie could only slow down with tense shoulders, giving up on the chase as she awaited the inevitable.
And as she silently predicted, Lisa’s smile vanished as soon as she got a glimpse of the real contents of the box.
“Oh.”
“I can explain,” Jennie stated calmly, hoping that Lisa was not overthinking it.
For a few moments, Lisa kept quiet. Then, as if to cover up her initial reaction, she smiled gently. Almost reassuringly.
And yet, nothing could hide the nostalgic look in her eyes.
“No need. You chose a pretty good camera. Do you mind if I…?”
She pointed at the camera hesitantly.
“Go ahead,” Jennie nodded.
After slowly moving away the protective polystyrene and air cushions, Lisa picked up the inner camera box, inspecting the specifications of the device.
“Yeah, it’s a lovely one,” she commented as she finished examining the sides of the box, nodding satisfied. “I’m sure it will work great for whatever you need it for.”
“I’m glad you like it.”
“Is it for work? Or are you going on a holiday soon?”
Lisa looked at her expectantly. Both were reasonable assumptions if the camera had been for Jennie.
“It’s yours,” Jennie said tentatively.
“What?”
Taking careful steps, Jennie finally made her way beside the taller girl, eyes pointed at the item on her hands.
“I got it for you,” she admitted.
“I…” Lisa’s hands started trembling slightly. “Why?”
Jennie had been trying to figure that out for a while. She still couldn’t give a clear answer other than the obvious one.
“Because I wanted to.”
It clearly wasn’t a sufficient explanation to Lisa. As she placed the camera box back on the table, she started to repeatedly shake her head.
“I can’t accept it,” she stated firmly.
“Yes, you can.” Jennie reached for the camera and pushed it to Lisa’s chest. “Take it. Please.”
She didn’t know why her voice sounded so unsteady. Deep inside, Jennie always knew that Lisa would have rejected her gift, but that didn’t stop her from trying.
“Jennie, I can’t,” Lisa repeated with more conviction. “I can’t keep taking from you.”
“You’re not taking anything from me.” Jennie wasn’t sure what made Lisa think that. If anything, Jennie felt like the one always on the receiving end of Lisa’s care. “Don’t think too much into it.”
It would be a big problem, Jennie thought, if Lisa were to figure out how far her feelings went. Jennie couldn’t even convince herself that it was a simple friendly gesture, so there was absolutely no chance that she’d be able to persuade Lisa to believe there wasn’t a deeper meaning behind it.
“How could I not? You had no reason to do this for me.”
“Listen, I know how wonderful it is to work on something you genuinely enjoy, and I also know that not many people get to do that in their lives. And you should be able to do what you love, Lisa.” Jennie raised her hand to touch Lisa’s cheek gently, trying her best to calm the uncertainty in her eyes. “I don’t need a reason. I just want you to be happy.”
Jennie didn’t like when things didn’t go according to plan. She didn’t account for a significant part of her past living next door, nor the reveal of her purchase, nor Lisa’s weird behaviour making everything more delicate. Theoretically, her night was turning into a disaster.
But for a moment, she saw Lisa’s stance falter. A brief, pensive look formed on her face, generating a small spark of hope in Jennie. Suddenly, plans didn’t matter anymore. Lisa’s gaze slowly became free of doubts, though Jennie couldn’t tell whether it was due to an understanding settling in instead.
She could only hope that Lisa remembered. Weeks ago, when she had drunkenly told Jennie the same words.
I want you to be happy.
Jennie wanted it too. Maybe she had a different way of expressing it, but the intention was the very same.
Lisa didn’t say a word, but she tried to. She looked back and forth between Jennie and the box in her hands, parting her lips before closing them again. Then, she placed the box down again, this time looking at Jennie intently.
“Damn it, Jennie.”
A flash of confusion crossed Jennie’s eyes, not having the time to process Lisa’s words before soft lips pressed firmly against hers.
Lisa kissed her hard, holding onto her as though she was afraid Jennie might slip away any minute.
It was a pointless concern. How could Jennie ever dream of going anywhere? If anything, she felt the need to pinch herself to confirm that she wasn’t, in fact, living a dream.
Perhaps that was the effect of wishing for something so badly and finally having it granted. After all the almosts and what ifs, Jennie got to find out how Lisa’s mouth felt on hers, albeit a little roughly, in a kiss that was a mix of tender and desperate.
And gone too soon for Jennie to get immersed in it.
Lisa pulled away abruptly and stared at her with panicked eyes, opening her mouth to say something.
And next thing she knew, she was rushing out the door.
“W-wait…” Jennie muttered in a breathy whisper, still frozen in shock at the unexpected kiss. “Lisa, wait!”
The weak attempt to catch up to the runaway girl lasted less than a few seconds. Jennie’s legs were not as fast as Lisa’s, and by the time she stepped out of her apartment, she was only met with the sound of the door to the staircase shutting. Lisa didn’t even risk waiting for the lift.
Well, shit. Crossing her arms, Jennie slumped against the doorframe, her shoulders rising as she let out a long, heavy sigh.
That was not how she wanted the evening to play out.
“It’s twenty-four flights of stairs,” she mumbled quietly to herself, her tired gaze still fixed on the door Lisa had vanished from.
Even as the seconds passed, the sense of disbelief still lingered. Jennie never imagined that Lisa would go to those lengths just to avoid speaking to her.
The situation became so absurd that Jennie almost felt the need to laugh. Lisa’s decision of escaping from the twelfth floor of a building via stairs was rather dramatic. Jennie respected her urge to flee, but she worried Lisa’s legs would feel the burn of it sooner or later.
It was a shame, truthfully. She had daydreamed about kissing Lisa on multiple occasions, and not a single time did she have to deal with a sudden loneliness. Lisa gave her a taste of her lips and nothing more. Jennie didn’t even get to prove how much of a good kisser she was.
Oh, she was going to devour the girl alive the next time she saw her—that much was certain. She was not letting Lisa get away with this.
But at the end of the day, there was still a bright side. Lisa had clearly demonstrated an interest, and that was enough for Jennie to consider it a start. It didn’t completely subside the sliver of disappointment caused by the disastrous night, but at least there wasn’t any sadness linked to it.
When she glanced back inside her apartment, seeing the camera still in her living room when it should have been with Lisa, another sigh left her lips. Maybe the disappointment was slightly bigger than just a sliver.
“Good job, Jennie. Real good job.” She paused briefly. “And I don’t even have my fucking toaster. Lovely.”
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