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It was hard to discern if Zoro was oblivious or acting like it on purpose. How could he fight like no one was watching, then the cook would ask a simple task of him and he was all bark and no bite? Of course, when someone says, “Can you take over look out for me while I shower tonight?” That’s what you mean! There was always so much explanation with him rather than a simple statement or question. Which was why interacting with the mosshead was all the more frustrating. Why should he have to explain why he wanted to shower now when he could wait until the dead of night, or god forbid the morning?
The swordsman had to have been suffering some sort of brain injury from all that fighting. Perhaps he got hurt and never had Chopper bandaged the wound, so it seeped into his brain and made him stupid. But no … he was always this level of idiotic. Even when he tried to be careful, late at night when gathering his daily dose of alcohol to binge, he managed to screw it up being so- so huge! Not like Sanji was even paying attention to how ginormous he was all the time, no, it was a fact. Marimo was just that, gigantic. His arms bumped into everything he tried to squeeze past and, god, his chest was abhorrently big. He would be envious if he cared, which he didn’t.
On a day like this, well night actually, Sanji was tasked with watching the ship. It was a boring task but led him to be able to smoke in peace, without someone bothering him before he was able to snub his cigarette and pull out a new one. Well, it was, until he heard that thumping. Even when Zoro tried to quiet his footsteps, he could still hear him.
“Those are bad for you,” he said, as he always did, trying to be charming but sounding like a total ass to the cook's ears. How could someone fuck up such a classic line? I mean, he’d heard it in movies and TV shows but really, he nailed it [and that of course was sarcastic].
“What is it.” Vinsmoke didn’t even look up from his post, which was a barrel he pushed to the edge of the ship to look out across the black water. It was pretty, especially when it was a foggy night like this. The moon was hazily cast over the water, rippling with each crash of the waves. Kind of romantic, maybe if Nami had approached him instead of that beast. Where was she anyway? Probably asleep in some cute pajamas, or combing her lustrous hair. Why couldn’t Zoro be more like her? Pretty and assertive, without being a total jackass.
It was silent for a moment as the swordsman approached the cook, standing beside him in the dark. It was kind of illuminated, A by the moon, and B by some lanterns hung up around the entrance to the boat's innards. When he didn’t speak, or breathe loudly, he was nice company. Sanji had to admit when they would do dishes together or even sit in the same vicinity, it was nice to feel the warmth radiating off his body. He was like a damn bear, or better yet a heating pad. That’s all his body mass was good for, heat. If he opened his mouth, it would ruin the small moment they were about to share. And knowing him, he would within seconds.
“Made you something,” Roronoa gruffed, with that tone he always used. Maybe he didn’t realize, well if he was stupid he most definitely didn’t realize [and Sanji was beginning to clearly doubt his neurological standings], but that tone was completely condescending. It was like he was too proud to show emotions, so he hid behind this caveman mask of grunting and scoffing. Pissed him off entirely he barely registered the words, before he did.
Made him something? Why would that dense guy make him anything? When all they did was yell back and forth, fighting like little girls? Well, very muscular and blood-lusting little girls. Sanji blinked a few times and glanced to his side, finally making eye contact with that damn swordsman. His eyes were already on him, staring with that same indifference he always had. God! Show emotions like a normal person! Why was he so hard to read, and why did it always piss the blonde off? Even Usopp was easier to read [let’s face it anyone is easier to read].
Without speaking, the man lifted his hand to show a plate- a plate? The cook’s brow furrowed as he stared at it. It was a piece of the worst food he had ever seen prepared in his life. It looked utterly burnt, completely undercooked also[??], and somehow oozing. It appeared to be bread with some kind of eggs misshapen-ly forced on top, then layered with cheese. The sight was enough to bring any chef of 20 years into tears.
“Marimo,” Sanji let out a breath, “What the hell is that?” That was all he could say without bursting into flames. Why the hell would Zoro prepare him such crap? Was this some kind of joke to make him mad on purpose? Okay fine! Where are the cameras then?
Yet, Zoro … flushed? He seemed a bit, well, oddly enough, embarrassed. A weird yet subtle expression formed on his face as he motioned to the burnt catastrophe, “On that island, I found a recipe book. I thought you’d like a snack. It’s toast with eggs and cheese.”
I thought you’d like a snack .
…
Thwunk.
Thwunk Thwunk Thwunk.
The cook's heart was beating, that’s all he could focus on, the beating. It was beating incredibly fast, faster than it ever had when interacting with that stupid plant. But why was it beating? Why the hell would it be beating especially when seeing this disaster of a dish? He had to have been angry, that had to be the feelings overtaking his very body, sending a chill down his spine and making his cheeks all prickly.
“You…” He hesitated, trying to find the words. The man wasn’t entirely sure what he was feeling, so he wasn’t sure how to form any words to say thank you. He had said thank you to Zoro in the past, so why was it so hard now? “Didn’t have to… Moss … head.” That was all Sanji ended up mustering out, an awkward smile gracing his lips.
“It’s shit. I know.” Zoro replied, without giving him a chance to respond, “I’m not a cook, but can’t say I didn’t try, curly.” He pressed his lips together in something the blonde hadn’t seen before either. Was this disappointment? This was the most emotion he had seen from that stupid bastard and it was one of the negative ones! He didn’t mean to be that big of a dick, I mean it was a nice gesture after all. The least he could say was thank you, so why was it so hard to get out?
“Moss-” He tried but was cut short when the swordsman turned, taking the plate with him back inside. “I’ll go throw it out.” Was what Sanji’s words were spoken over with. God, well this stunk. He never meant to hurt his feelings. None of their bickering ever got to him, and he surely didn’t think it got to Zoro. So why was this the thing that made him actually upset? Was he really trying? Was he making a gesture? Oh god- was this some early birthday present?
What Sanji had failed to even consider was that maybe this was a romantic gesture! When it crossed his mind he shook it away, but it continued to linger. What if that brute was trying to confess something? I mean, he always had a softer gaze when they would talk [when he wasn’t being a total pain in the ass]. And he always had the cooks back in a fight. But everyone had each other's backs in a fight so that couldn’t count. He cleaned his plate every time he ate, even if it was a dish he hated. No matter what, it was bone try, and neatly placed in the sink. For being a total dunce, he had some manners when it came to food.
Vinsmoke admired that. He never wasted a meal and that was something that meant a lot to him. I mean, he was always trying to get the cook's attention, too. To the point where it was aggravatingly annoy- oh my god he has a crush on me.
And oh my god I just crushed his heart.
The realization was prematurely about to make the man sick. Well, at least he thought he was going to be sick. His heart, which never stopped roaring in his ears, was thrumming profusely in his chest, and there was a strange feeling building in the back of his throat. It was a dry, hoarse feeling, with a lump forming too. God- what the hell! Figuring out a woman had a crush on him was never this damning, never this depressing! At least, he assumed this had to be depression. Or maybe an ailment. Maybe he was dying! Because there was no way in hell he liked that man back.
Well, [aside from the obvious facts that Sanji was not gay and if he was he would have taste] he was in a bit of shit. He didn’t want to hurt the man's feelings with his reaction but it was somewhat involuntary. I mean the food truly looked awful, how else was he supposed to react? Besides, it wasn’t like the stupid moss always did nice things for him, or him to the moss. They always poked at each other, what was different? Romance was in play, or at least he highly suspected it.
He frowned. He just hated to make anyone upset, even if it was Zoro. The cook got up from his barrel and followed the plant inside to find him standing over the sink with a gloomy aura permeating his mere existence. Now this was depressing, not whatever he was feeling a few moments ago. The man really did it. He was the big asshole who hurt his friend [even though it pained him to admit it, they were friends], without even trying.
“Zoro…” Sanji breathed out, staring at him. What could he say that would make a difference? I’m sorry it was shit and also I’m not into you like that but you tried? That was too mean. Maybe: I’m not gay but you slayed- That feels homophobic.
The swordsman looked over at him, a different look on his face. This was an emotion he knew all too well on Zoro. It was the look of shame or mere defeat. It was something he sported when he’d lose a fight and have to slump down in the corner while the rest of the crew fought mercilessly for him, in his honor. He hated anyone ever risking their lives for him, and he hated having to watch it. Vinsmoke assumed that this was in the same vein. Being rejected was the same kind of feeling as being defeated in a humiliating way.
“I…” He hesitated. The truth or something much sweeter? Well, he would have gone with something sweeter if he hadn’t said the first thing that came to his mind, “I’m not gay.”
.
..
…
The moss blinked a few times before furrowing his brow ever slightly as he always did when a puzzle would arise, “Huh?” Well now you did it Sanji , his voice echoed into his cranium, you’ve totally embarrassed yourself in front of your friend . At this point he was beginning to fill with such embarrassment he didn’t even recoil at the thought of calling Zoro his friend, what character development! The cook shuddered and stared at him incredulously as if the other was the one who spouted such weird bullshit. One hand searched before dramatically clutching the collar of his shirt. Well, if he wasn’t in shit then he was in shit now.
Just to recap all of Sanji Vinsmoke’s current fuck ups: Insulting a man's food when he was trying to confess [or at least he’s under the assumption it was a confession], then instead of apologizing- he stated he wasn’t gay; Which is an insult to Zoro, implying he was hitting on the cook with no evidence to back this up. Overall, this was looking utterly awful for the blonde, and he was feeling it.
“Cook did you think I was-” Zoro began but it was cut off by a strangled noise from the other. Whatever he did, he could not have that dunce say it out loud. Then he’d be the real jackass. Clearly, he had misread or something. How could the great Roronoa Zoro also like dick? I mean, he kind of looked zesty if he squinted … and he always had a thing for very muscular swordsmen. To the cook, he just kind of assumed. But wrongly so! [Apparently] Because he wasn’t gay and he had just made his assumption very known. Great.
“No-no-no … no .” Sanji placed another hand on his hair, lightly patting it a few times before putting his hand down. Something, anything would be better than this. And he had a few tortuous places in mind he’d rather be in than ever publicly assuming a manly man's sexuality in front of him.
Marimo’s eyebrows were down to his eyelids, squinting and scowling back at the blonde as he was trying to wrap his head around this almost foreign concept. Had he never even thought about romance or was he just playing stupid? God!! He was stupid! I mean, everyone on that boat had thought about each other in one way or another while being trapped for months at a time, with no one else to socialize with but… well, each other! Of course, even as a straight male, Sanji had to admit he had thought about his friend a few times late at night. But everyone had to, right? It was totally normal to picture your bro oiled up, right?
“Why did you think I was being romantic, curly?” Roronoa finally spoke, rasping it from the base of his throat as if it was physically paining him to talk. It was strained and delicate, almost above a whisper. Did he not know? Did he really not know what would lead him to think like that? Maybe he really was concussed, or seriously injured. He’d have to have Chopper look him over soon.
The cook pressed his lips together before the other cut him off again, “Did you want me to?” Now Sanji’s mouth was hanging open.
“Why do you think I want you to?!?” His voice was taking on a higher tone as he desperately tried not to scream, or worse faint.
Want him to? Why in the history of ever would Vinsmoke ever want that plant to make moves on him? Why in the history of ever would he ask for that? He was straight!!! He was so very straight! The last thing he wanted was those burly arms wrapped around his torso as they lay together on a hammock. Or his body warmth keeping him cozy late at night. Or his light snoring rumbling in his chest as Sanji would lay upon it, dreaming soundly knowing Zoro was there to pro- woah.
“Well you thought I was being romantic,” Zoro spoke in an obvious tone, almost as if to say ‘duh’.
“You were trying to make me food!!” He pointed one wobbly finger in the swordsman’s direction which was shot down by the bigger man’s hand. The green-haired male pushed the cook's hand down and gave him a look. It was … different. Out of all the things the narrator hasn’t unpacked yet, this would be the first. The look was soft and mature, almost nurturing. It was to say, ‘It's okay you don’t have to do all that for me’. Or more on the nose, ‘You dumb fucking shit let me explain.’
Before though, can we just as a collective take in what the hell Sanji’s fantasy was? His mind had been trying desperately not to think about what led him down such a domestic path, but he couldn’t figure out why. I mean, he already knew Zoro’s body warmth was inviting. So maybe it was normal to have his mind wander to laying on his plush chest and having his rough hands play with his hair? That had to be normal, either way, he was having Chopper check him out in the morning.
“You haven’t eaten all day,” he spoke lightly, but god was it condescending, “I was trying to make sure our damn cook wouldn’t die out here without something to eat.” Oh. So it … wasn’t actually … romantic… Vinsmoke found himself swallowing the harsh reality slowly, his heartbeat fading from his ears and the thrumming in his chest coming to a stop. Oh. That’s exactly what he wanted right? For it not to be gay so he could have a peaceful night, right?
“Then why did you,” he trailed off quietly, “Look upset?”
“Because you were being an asshole, idiot!” Zoro raised his hand and promptly hit the cook upside the head, “Sheesh! Did no one teach you manners?” So he had completely misread the entire scenario. That would be fine, that would be amazing actually, if it didn’t stop him from thinking. Why was it that this was making a hollow pit form in his stomach? I mean, he had the scare and his body started going insane, but now that the threat had vacated the premises… he was lonely. Or at least, his bodily reactions were telling him so. In his brain, Sanji wasn’t sure what to think. He never wanted to hurt Zoro. And to see him defeated and then hear the chance that this was all due to some kind of romantic interest? It was … kind of interesting.
The next morning he knew where he was going to go. Sanji could barely sleep, tossing and turning with his mind buzzing. Why did he somewhat wish Zoro had actually been interested in him? Why was there some part of him that was interested in the whole affair, even though up until now he had only been interested in women? Well, that part wasn’t entirely true. There had been a few men growing up who caught his eye, but he attributed it to liking their fashion sense more than liking their face. Even when he thought about them domestically, he never thought it was anything short of, ‘everyone fantasizes about their bros!’ Apparently not! Now it was something else, something medical.
So there he set off to find Chopper, who was deep inside the ship teetering away on a book. He was just scribbling down on it as he referenced other books, all sprawled out on the floor. From the looks of it, he was deep in whatever he was working on, so the cook partially felt a bit bad coming up and interrupting it.
“Uh, Chopper?” He tilted his head to the side, watching as the small deer perked up and grinned at him as he always did. He was so happy to see anyone, and it warmed his heart a bit.
“Hi, Sanji!” The kid replied, sitting up and putting his pen down, “What’s wrong?” Of course, he knew something was up. He typically came to the little doctor if something was bothering him physically, but he’s a doctor so mental stuff is … probably the same thing!
“I have a … predicament.” The cook knelt, before plopping down on his backside and leaning his head back, “It’s kind of personal.” The deer nodded his head and looked from left to right to ensure no one else was looking, before letting him continue. How was he even to begin?
“I think I have a brain-eating parasite who’s making me go insane.”
…
Chopper shot up, screaming out, “WHAT!? SANJI TELL ME EVERYTHING!!” He ran to his little medical bag, pulling out a thermometer to check the man’s temperature with haste. Well, that was the conclusion Sanji had gotten to. There was no way he was actually gay, or even liked Zoro for that matter, but something was making him act up. If he could figure it out, it would solve all his issues. Maybe then he’d be able to relax and stop thinking about him in those ways.
It wasn’t even in a perverted manner, which was stranger than usual. All he could think about was Zoro and his face, how it would contort into a pleased yet content smile. Or how he was such a big idiot who finished all his food, even when he hated it, just for Sanji. Or how he was really wondering if those big pecs made for good pillows as he had suspected.
“When did this start!?” The doctor prodded, pushing the thermometer into the cook's mouth.
“Last night,” he spoke muffled, “I was talking to Zoro and I thought he was hitting on me-” Chopper took the thermometer out of his mouth and pulled out a small sleeve, and a little hand pump to check his blood pressure, slinging it around Sanji’s arm, “-and my body started acting up. When he told me he wasn’t, it started acting up even more.”
The deer began to squeeze the bump quickly, before he let go and narrowed his eyes at the man, “Acting up how?”
“Well, my heartbeat was super loud and my face was red. I couldn’t really speak and my throat was dry,” Vinsmoke explained, watching the little one pull off the sleeve to measure his blood pressure and instead go to rummage in his bag. He rummaged for a moment, before pulling out a small clipboard and a pair of thin, boxy black glasses. Perfect, just for his small face.
“And this was when you thought Zoro was hitting on you? How about afterward?” He raised a small eyebrow, looking from the clipboard to the blonde. This was a pretty normal ritual of getting diagnosed with Chopper, although it had fewer clipboards and more medical equipment. Either way, he didn’t think too much about what was going on, instead thinking about how he felt.
Well, he felt empty when he realized Zoro didn’t like him and wasn’t, in fact, hitting on him. That’s what Sanji told the doctor. He explained how he felt a hollow pit in his stomach as if all of his senses stopped and poured into that pit. It was a show that had stopped mid-frame on a VHS, glitching with some static. All you could see was the one frame as it glitched over and over. It was a hollow feeling, something that a brain-eating cancer was most definitely causing. Maybe it caused that other feeling, too. The overly intense heartbeat, a rush of heat to his face, and the fact his hands couldn’t focus. They were in his hair or perhaps his pant pocket, anywhere but idle.
Chopper listened as the cook described it, letting him go into detail and even more detail. It was nice to have someone to listen to him ramble, even if it was about a hypothetical parasite. Once he was done describing, the little doctor sighed and tapped his clipboard, “Well, Sanji. You have a really bad case…” Sanji’s expression fell, “...Of a crush on Zoro!” What.
Sanji blinked once. Then twice. Then three times. Then seven. Then maybe fifteen? He couldn’t stop blinking and staring. No. There was no way he had a crush on Zoro and there was no way he had just confessed that to the little blabbermouth, the swordsman was closest to.
“I .. do not,” the blonde-haired male forced out through a gritted awkward smile, “I think it’s just cancer.”
“No, it’s a crush.” Chopper smiled cheerfully, “Chin up! I prescribed him the same medicine!”
“Oh what, like he also has a crush on me?” I do not but hypothetically if I do . The deer looked up from the clipboard with a wide-eyed expression. Oh, he had said too much hadn’t he?
“Um! No…?” He looked away and put the clipboard on the ground, trying his best to avoid eye contact. So … Zoro had a crush on Sanji? He lied about his romantic advances toward him, what, so as not to get hurt? Well, it would make sense, he couldn’t deny that look of shame and disappointment Marimo was donning when he was seemingly rejected. That meant he made him that crap salad for more than just a simple reason of ‘I didn’t want you to starve’. He made it with some romantic inclination involved, hoping that the cook would have a heartfelt moment with him. Clearly, that didn’t happen.
What was that going to mean now? From what he told Chopper it was clear he was feeling some type of way too [although if he could help it, it would be the brain-eating parasite], and knowing the little thing he’d be telling the moss soon enough. What would his reaction be, to finding out Sanji was secretly some gay fiend who rejected him with such poor word choices? And god! Just that! Sanji had rejected him, calling him out in the worst way possible because he couldn’t keep his damn mouth shut.
Now he had so much to think about because he had to say something soon or it would be ruined by the little twerp of a deer doctor. The blonde wanted to tell Zoro how he felt even if he wasn’t too sure himself. Clearly, it was affection, and clearly, it was of the romantic kind. Maybe it was admiration that turned romantic, with an insatiable urge to just … get closer. Sanji wasn’t even sure when his friendly comradery turned into something more delicate. None of his other feelings had changed, I mean he still really hated him. But now that he thought about it, he looked at the moss differently and with more care than anyone else. And after a fight, he’d always bring him something as a peace offering, like some orange juice.
God, he was obvious. Did Marimo think he had a chance and then was it ruined by his stupid mouth? That had to be it. Of course that was it! Vinsmoke was just an asshole who was ruining his only shot at being somewhat domestic on this pirate ship.
He had to have a plan of some kind to get Zoro to see he was actually reciprocating his feelings. Something to lure him in and get trapped with emotions. What Sanji ended up deciding on was walking up to him and handing him a letter, enclosed in an envelope and sealed with wax on the outside. Inside it wrote, ‘My room right now.’ The cook had about five minutes to get to his actual room and clean it up a bit before he heard the door open [because why would Marimo even bother knocking?]
“Curly,” Zoro spoke, blinking a few times in greeting as he stepped inside. The man turned around and tried to smile at him, but it looked too awkward. He felt too awkward. How did people even propose their feelings to one another anyway? Sanji had seen some TV but it was too dramatic. Nothing ever felt right or even natural when he would watch it. He could have started with some lines, but it wasn’t right.
“Moss,” he greeted back, pressing his lips together before ending the awkward tension [or making it worse], “I’m actually not, not gay.” And he was already fucking it up again. A searing burn of embarrassment flowed through the cook's face, making a home on his cheeks. They were red, he could sense it. Especially from his friend's face, he could definitely sense it.
Roronoa looked a bit confused, but also somewhat smug? It was hard to describe the vibes he was getting from the stone-carved male. It was kind of an ‘I was right’ smug smirk, although his brows were furrowed in a bit of confusion. He wasn’t sure what was happening but he was on the right track for once, or at least it appeared that way.
“You’re … not, not gay?” He raised one brow as he spoke slowly, almost enunciating every word. Just in a way that pissed him off. God, when Sanji was done confessing to that moss-head, he was going to kick his ass.
He nodded, “But I know that… for some of us, that’s a shock, like me. I wasn’t … aware I was into men until earlier today.” Trying to keep some kind of semblance of a nonchalant aura, Vinsmoke put two of his hands into his pants pockets, looking away as he continued, “And I think I’m into you.” There it was. There was the sentence he had been practicing time and time again in the mirror until he got it right and damn, he got it right. Well, he was pretty sure he did. The cook was trying his hardest not to look at the swordsman, fearing it would make him want to jump off the side of the boat.
It was silent for a few more moments before he looked at the moss, watching him with a wary eye. Zoro’s expression was new. It was shock. It was pure unadulterated shock. Something he had never seen from him, even when fighting terrifying beasts and annoying villains. Nothing really shocked him … as much as this? Was it really that shocking to believe that he had reciprocated feelings for a man he spent almost every second of every day with? A man that he, well to be fair, outwardly hated.
“Sanji…” He breathed out, looking at him with wide eyes. Sanji wanted to speak, to laugh and tell him it was real, but he was stuck in the pool of his eyes. They were … they were big and dark, filled with emotion. Emotion he hadn’t seen in so long, or practically ever. He reached his hand out, just inching it toward the man before him. Roronoa didn’t even notice the slender man’s fingers on his wrist, walking toward him.
“Zoro…” The cook whispered back, trying to maintain eye contact. No one ever told him what came after this. What came after the confessions or when you asked women out on dates? Presumably the date and presumably a kiss … right? Maybe that’s what the stupid Marimo was waiting for. Sanji was clearly more experienced [not really but you know whatever], so he should have been the one taking the lead and kissing him! He should have been the one biting the bullet and pressing their lips together. So why was he stuck staring into the other man's eyes? To be frank, it felt more intimate than kissing ever could’ve been.
This was the beginning of something special.