Nothing Purrsonal

by friedriceandmalice

Summary:

Megatron found himself at the receiving end of a failed experiment on the Nemesis, and now he's stuck with the Autobots for the time being in the body of a Maine Coon. Of course, none of the Autobots knew that their biggest enemy was now living in their base rent-free as their pet. Nor did they wonder why he constantly wanted to be around Optimus Prime's neck. One thing they were all curious about, though: When did Maine Coon start falling from the sky?

(Teen rating because of suggestive MegOp dream sequences and animal experimentation.)

Notes:

• For Lonestararts.

This is all inspired by the lovely @lovinglonerhybrid on Tumblr, who suggested that Megatron should be turned into a massive Maine Coon. I need to get this fic idea out of my system, so here it is! This is going to be a slightly long one folks, so buckle up!

Chapter 1

A few things interested Shockwave about Earth. He found little interest in humans and their inferior technology and wits. Humanmade infrastructures and collection of knowledge did not inspire him in the slightest. And don't get him started on human emotions.

Earth's natural flora and fauna, though, was another story. The biodiversity outside of humans intrigued Shockwave. Lately, he had been diving into the world of Felidae and studying the domestic cat and its abilities. Although domesticated by man, cats retained plenty of their wild counterpart's traits, such as their righting reflex, joint-bending flexibility, and enhanced sense of smell.

Shockwave wanted to harness all those capabilities. And who better to give those upgrades than to his Master? So, one seemingly innocuous afternoon, Shockwave had strapped Megatron on a berth. A stray Maine Coon was fastened down on a smaller worktable beside the humongous silver mech.

"Are you sure this will work, Shockwave?" Megatron was not the type of mech who would be nervous over a minor experiment. But he could not help but be skeptical when the experimentation had alien organic life into the mix.

"Affirmative, Lord Megatron," Shockwave said without looking up from his keyboard. "There should be little error in transferring the feline's capabilities to you if everything goes according to plan."

"And what shall happen to this cat, as the humans lovingly call them?" Megatron looked at the cat, who was as confused as he was.

"The cat will lose all its cognitive abilities, rendering it a shell of its former being. It shall be disposed of properly."

"Very well then, Shockwave." Megatron closed his eyes and braced himself for the next step of the procedure.

Slowly, two semi-transparent tubes swallowed Megatron and the Maine Coon. From the side, Soundwave, Starscream, and Knockout watched the tubes' insides turning opaque with smoke. The trio looked at Shockwave, scrutinizing the scientist. Shockwave did not indicate whether things were going right or wrong as he continued typing on his keyboard. A minute felt like an eternity. With a tiny ding, the tubes automatically slid away, releasing Megatron and the cat from their confines.

They saw no visible changes between Megatron and the cat. But that did not deter Shockwave. He did not want to call his experimentation a success or failure yet.

"Soundwave, assess Lord Megatron and the feline," ordered Shockwave.

Soundwave examined the two. So far, nothing was amiss.

"Lord Megatron: In mint condition," Soundwave reported. "Stray feline: Also unchanged."

"Perhaps the only trait you have transferred from the cat to Lord Megatron is the affinity for sleep," jabbed Starscream.

Shockwave ignored Starscream's sarcasm. He returned to monitoring Megatron and the cat's vital, hoping his Master would wake up from stasis.

 

Megatron grumbled softly. Everything was a blur as he opened his eyes. He blinked. One, two, three times. But no matter what, all he saw were shades of blues and yellows above an overwhelming gray backdrop.

Then it hit him. The scent of metal, flames, and energon overwhelmed his nostrils. But above all, he smelled dirt and grime. Was it coming off of him? He inhaled and almost puked. Primus! He smelled like a sewer!

He tilted his head up and almost let out an indignant sound. He had not attained the abilities of the cat. He had become one instead! Panic racked his brain. He needed to tell Shockwave immediately that his experiment was a disaster. Without thinking twice, he let out a yell.

"Meow!"

All the mechs in the room turned to Megatron (the cat, not the sleeping bot). Shockwave stopped typing. "It appears my experimentation has not gone how I wanted it," he said.

Obviously, it hasn't, Megatron thought. But as much as he wanted to scold his scientist, all he could do was meow and struggle to free himself from his straps.

"Very well," Shockwave continued. "While Megatron is in recharge, we shall dispose of the cat."

Megatron widened his eyes. No! No, no, no, no. The last thing he wanted was to be disposed of like a furry rag by his mech. And it appeared that the mech most interested in his demise was Starscream! The bot was already walking toward him with a fragging grin, plotting different ways of extinguishing his spark.

Shockwave pulled down a lever, and his straps immediately disappeared. Without hesitation, Megatron leaped up and tackled Starscream's face, scratching the Decepticon's face with his claws.

"Ah! Get this awful creature off my face plate!" Starscream shouted as he fell to his knees.

Megatron looked up and hissed as he saw Shockwave, Soundwave, and Knockout cautiously approaching him. He ran away from Starscream and from the grasp of the other Decepticons. He pounced on Megatron (the mech) and tried to wake the sleeping bot up. But before the mech could even open his eyes, Soundwave grabbed Megatron the cat with his cables.

"Throw that Primus forsaken creature overboard!" Starscream ordered.

Megatron helplessly trashed and flayed in Soundwave's metal cables. They ran to the Nemesis' deck and, without hesitation, threw the crying Megatron overboard.

 

Riding around the Nevada desert was one of the many ways Jack and Arcee spent their afternoons. With no classes for the humans and no signs of threat for the Autobots, everyone could loosen up and enjoy Saturday. Miko and Raf were back at the base playing video games, and only Jack decided he wanted some fresh air. And, at the right time, Arcee also wanted to stretch her joints.

But while the two chatted about nothing and everything, something caught Jack's eye. "Arcee, hang on. I think I see something falling from the sky."

Arcee came to a screeching halt. Jack got off, and she immediately transformed from her alt form. She also saw what was falling, and her eyes widened.

"Stay here, Jack," she ordered. She immediately sprang back into her vehicle mode and raced to where the unidentified object was landing.

The object was falling faster by the second. Arcee immediately transformed, jumped into the air, and caught it with her two servos. She immediately returned to Jack with what the human perceived was a bundle of fur!

Fur?

"What is it, Arcee?" Jack asked, trying to get a view from the tall bot.

Arcee hunched over and showed Jack what was in her arms. It was a Maine Coon with dirt-white fur and piercing yellow eyes. It had a scowl on its face. The minute it saw Jack, it hissed angrily at him. Jack jumped back.

"Whoa! Since when did it rain cats here in Nevada?" Jack asked rhetorically.

"Earth is a mysterious planet if I say so myself," Arcee replied. "Ow!"

She looked down and saw the cat scratching her arm violently. She grabbed it from the back of its neck and scolded the mean Maine Coon.

"Wow, looks like someone isn't grateful for being saved two minutes ago," Jack commented.

"I say we leave it here in the desert. It doesn't seem to like either of us," Arcee said.

"What! But it will die out here. Sure, it's mean to us, but it's still a living creature."

"And are you proposing we bring it back to the base?"

Jack did not reply but had that determined look that told Arcee his answer. Arcee pinched the side of her helm and groaned.

"Fine, we can bring it back to the base," Arcee reluctantly said. "But you're explaining to Optimus why you brought back that cat. You may also want to give that thing a bath."

"Deal," Jack replied. He took the cat from Arcee and stuffed it into his backpack. He expected the cat to protest. Instead, it was as if the cat insisted on going back to their base by cooperating with Jack. Maybe having a cat for the Autobots wouldn't be such a bad idea.

 

Megatron struggled to find space between textbooks and crumpled papers. This was not the first time he would go to the Autobots' base, but he wished it was not as inconvenient as it was. Still, he could not pass up the deal of seeing his old enemy and his allies while in disguise. (Even though that disguise smelled of filth, lacked proper weaponry, and could not even comm back to the Nemesis.)

Megatron thought of how he could infiltrate the base once he was there. He could eavesdrop on their conversations without them batting an eye on his presence. He could discover where and what weaponry they possessed. He could even take out Optimus Prime in his recharge. How so, he was not sure. But his intelligence was not hindered because he was in a feline's body.

He would eventually find a strategy. For now, though, he would have to settle for being stuffed in a high schooler's junk bag.

Chapter 2

Summary:

Megatron was now in the Autbots' base, and it would only be a short while until he could enact his dastardly plans. The only thing standing between him and his objective was Prime and his magical digits scratching behind his left ear.

Notes:

Hi!!! Look at me, posting consistently. I don't know how long this streak would be, especially with how stuff IRL are happening. I'm just updating during my down time. Pray that it would last a little longer. 🙏

Megatron, at first, was doubtless about his plans of domination. Yet, the minute he was surrounded by humans and bots that could easily squish him, all his positivity drained. He tucked his tail under his hind legs and hissed whenever someone tried to touch him, let alone get near him. He recognized almost everyone, even with his limited vision. He relied heavily on scent for his navigation. (There was no denying that the girl who called herself 'Miko' was present since she used an abundance of cologne and hair colorant.)

"So you're telling us that this cat fell out of the sky out of nowhere in the desert with no humans nearby?" Agent Fowler clarified. "What's next? Dalmatians running for president!?"

"I'm serious, sir!" Jack retorted. "Arcee and I saw it with our two eyes."

"Jack's right," Arcee interjected. "We did not find any humans nearby who could have tossed the cat into the air. And even then, the cat came from a high fall."

Ratchet scanned Megatron and looked at his vital. "It appears to be in healthy condition. Putrid, but otherwise in shape."

Megatron's ears drooped. How humiliating, he thought. The last thing he wanted was to be examined by a dozen eyes. It was like being in public with his modesty panel open.

Suddenly, Miko, with a surprising amount of strength, grabbed him and shook him around as if he were a doll. "Do we get to keep her? I always wanted a cat! We could dress her up and-

"Hold on, Miko," Bulkhead interrupted. "We have a lot of unanswered questions about this cat."

"Yeah! Like, how are you sure it's a girl?" Smokescreen asked.

The children tried to peek behind Megatron's tail, but the cat immediately hissed. Miko dropped Megatron while Jack and Agent Fowler pulled her away.

"Careful! That thing might have rabies!" Agent Fowler warned.

Bumblebee followed up with a few beeps.

"Bumblebee is right," Arcee said. "Where are we keeping this cat? This base is not a cat sanctuary."

"Maybe its owner might be looking for her," Bulkhead suggested.

"Owner? Please!" Ratchet responded incredulously. "That cat smells like it came from a scrapyard. If anything, the owner must have purposely abandoned it."

Megatron was getting annoyed every ticking second with everyone, especially Ratchet. How many more comments did he have to endure about his smell?

Everyone started talking at the same time, much to Megatron's disinterest. But his nose suddenly perked up. He could whiff a familiar scent that sent his spark beating. That only meant one thing.

Optimus Prime was in the room.

"It appears a lot has happened since I went on patrol," Optimus said, causing everyone to go silent.

Ratchet was about to greet Optimus and explain everything but was interrupted by an eager meow from Megatron. The cat approached Optimus and rubbed against the giant bot's pedes. Optimus raised an optical ridge.

Megatron purred, a dastardly plan brewing in his mind. Yes, he thought, if he could win Optimus' favor, he could get close enough to assassinate him! Maybe he could do it while the bot was powered down. Or perhaps he could sneak into the bot while he was in his alt form and take him out during his so-called patrol. He had fangs and claws that could nip into sensitive areas of the Prime. He could surely do some fatal damage.

"Optimus, we could explain," Jack began. "Arcee and I saw this cat falling from the sky and saved her. We can't leave her in the desert, or else she will die. So we decided to bring her back to the base and maybe keep her here until we find a foster parent."

"Keep her here in the base!?" Ratchet asked, surprised. "This place is barely safe for humans like you. Do you think a cat as small as her could survive in here?"

"Jack, Miko, Rafael, perhaps you can bring her home with you?" Optimus suggested.

The three children looked down.

"My host parents would flip if I told them I'm bringing home a street cat," Miko said sadly.

"My parents are allergic to cats," Raf responded.

"And mom is more of a dog person," Jack grimaced.

Optimus hummed thoughtfully. He bent down to look at Megatron. The cat looked back at him, yellow orbs challenging blue ones. Optimus carefully reached a finger out for Megatron to sniff, and the cat reciprocated. Everyone affectionately sighed as Megatron calmed down while Optimus petted his head.

Slowly, Optimus stood up and said, "Very well. She can stay here until we find her a loving permanent home."

The Autobots gasped.

"You can't be serious, Optimus!?" Ratchet started.

Bumblebee beeped violently and loudly.

"We can't keep an animal in the base," Arcee added. "Keeping her will compromise her life."

"While it is true that animals, like humans, are fragile beings," Optimus said. "We cannot simply abandon this cat in the wild, especially since she was wandering in the desert. Bear with this cat for a short while, Autobots. She might even teach us valuable lessons on Earth's biodiversity."

Optimus turned his attention to the children. He added, "Caring for an animal is a big responsibility, but I am positive that you three can watch over her. Agent Fowler, is it possible to allocate resources for cat supplies?"

Agent Fowler grumbled and crossed his hands. He sighed and replied, "Fine, we can buy her supplies and take her to the vet. But that cat is not part of the negotiation, Prime. She better be out of this base before the end of this month."

"Yes, Agent Fowler, you have my word."

Megatron gulped. Not only was it difficult to maneuver as a feline, but now his plans had a time limit. He needed to move fast if he wanted to enact his operation.

Suddenly, Miko grabbed Megatron and hoisted him up. "She still does not have a name, you know. We can't call her 'cat' forever."

Everyone looked at Megatron in Miko's hands as if they were all thinking of a decent name to give him in his feline form.

"Oh! What about Meg?" Miko said. "Short, simple, and sweet."

Megatron made a scowling face. Well, he thought, at least that name was close to his designation. Still, he was far from used to being referred to as a 'she.'

"She does look like a 'Meg,'" Bulkhead commented. (Megatron did not know whether to be offended or not.)

"Meg needs to go to the vet before you kids can manhandle her," Agent Fowler said as he took the cat from Miko's arms. His eyes widened. "Holy cow, what has this thing been eating? She weighs a ton!"

Rude! Meg hissed and was (rightfully) unhanded by Agent Fowler.

"Agent Fowler is right," Optimus said. "Meg needs optimal care from a veterinarian. We must prepare her for her future parents."

"Hey, I think the local vet clinic is still open right now," Raf said. "Maybe we can still get there on time and get Meg checked. They also sell pet supplies and food."

Optimus smiled. "Great thinking, Rafael. Agent Fowler, you and the kids take Meg to the clinic before it closes. Autobots, let's clean the base and make it safe for our new feline guest."

Optimus got down on his knees and petted Megatron. "You are safe with us, my furry friend. I expect you to be on your best behavior."

Megatron purred, much to his dismay. As much as he hated to admit it, he might get used to Optimus petting the back of his ears. (Especially the left one.) All he had to do now was follow orders and play along with the humans and Autobots. Pretty soon, victory would be at the tip of his paws.

Chapter 3

Summary:

Megatron found his way into Optimus' hab suite and was ready to wreak havoc on his worst enemy. Too bad Optimus had other plans.

Notes:

My dear readers, now you will know why this fic is rated T.

Anyways, hello! I'm sorry for the small delay. A lot of IRL stuff has gotten in the way. Life, school, a massive typhoon hitting the country. But don't worry, it's all good, man! Enjoy your tooth-rotting fluff ;)

Bumblebee was one of the Autobots reluctant to take Megatron under their wing. But since Optimus found no problem keeping a street cat in the base, he rolled with it. However, he was tired of hearing Agent Fowler muttering about how expensive the veterinarian was and how Optimus owed him a lot after spending military funds on cat supplies. And the man did not stop muttering from downtown to back the base.

Bumblebee came to a halt and opened all his doors for his passengers. In Fowler's grasp was a pink carrier (Miko's choice) housing Megatron. The children carried toys, bowls, and a paper bag of canned food and other supplies. Bumblebee transformed and withdrew a plastic box and a sack of litter sand from his subspace.

Arcee, with her back against the wall and crossed arms, asked, "How's cat shopping?"

"Miko went over the budget with toys and accessories," Jack confessed as he placed the paper bag on a table.

"It's not my fault the shop had so many cute clothes and toys!" Miko retorted.

Agent Fowler released Megatron from the carrier. Megatron, thankfully, did not smell like a street cat anymore. But now he had to parade all over the base wearing a pink fairy tutu dress, much to his chagrin. Humans and their stupid pet dresses, Megatron grumbled mentally.

"See? Isn't she adorable?" Miko asked all the bots.

They did have to admit: Megatron looked like an absolute doll. His fur was fluffier and shinier. Grooming cost money, but it at least made him look presentable.

Smokescreen tried to pet Megatron, but the cat hissed and swatted his servo away. He was tired of being treated like a child's plaything! He rolled on his belly and wiggled around, trying to get the scratchy fabric off his body. But the more he trashed and turned, the more the other bots and humans gushed.

However, Optimus intervened, noticing the cat's discomfort. "Miko, it seems our feline friend is more comfortable being clothless. It is wiser if you undress her."

Miko pouted but followed Optimus' order. She undressed Megatron. For the cat, it felt like being able to breathe again. Megatron immediately ran towards Optimus and hid behind his pedes. The last thing he wanted was to feel like an oversized spring roll.

"Hey, Meg, maybe you would like this toy," Raf said as he pulled out a wand with a dangling mouse at the end.

But Megatron only looked at the toy with boredom. He had to admit the jingling bell was tempting. (It must be the cat instincts kicking in.) But he fought the urge to interact with the humans. He was not in the mood to act interested in human invention for feline care.

The children looked at each other, wondering, 'What now?' Then Jack suddenly remembered, "Meg, you haven't eaten since we last rescued you. Maybe you must be hungry."

Jack fished out a can of cat food from the paper bag and carefully opened it. The smell of sardines permeated the base. Miko and Raf instinctively covered their noses, shielding their nostrils from the pungent smell. Even Agent Fowler brought out a handkerchief to cover his face. The striking scent also upset the Autobots' olfactory sensors. It was more upsetting than Megatron's smell when they first found him. Megatron carefully approached the can of food and took a whiff. He gagged and ran behind Optimus again.

"Maybe we accidentally picked up an expired can?" Miko suggested.

"Well, let's not hope all of the cans are expired, considering we bought twenty identical cat food," Fowler impatiently responded.

Optimus checked his internal clock and said, "We should call it a night. Bumblebee, Arcee, Bulkhead, bring the children home. Agent Fowler, we will notify you when we need assistance with Meg."

Agent Fowler exhaled. "Finally, some time away from that hissing furball."

The children bid goodbye to Meg and left the base with their partnered Autobots. Shortly, Agent Fowler departed as well. Optimus was about to transform and go on another series of nightly duty patrols when Ratchet suddenly placed a servo on his chest.

"You should take the night off, Optimus," Ratchet said. "We haven't had any issues for the past couple of days. Take the opportunity to rest."

Optimus smiled and replied, "Thank you, old friend. I'll do as you say. Good night, Ratchet."

Unbeknownst to both bots, Megatron had climbed onto Optimus' right leg, squeezing next to his wheels in the hopes of not being seen. Optimus turned and made his way to his hab suite. Megatron held on tightly, hoping he would not fall off while the giant mech made his way onto his berth. Finally, Megatron thought, it was time for him to enact his plans. All he had to do was wait for Optimus to power down. And for someone as tired as Optimus, powering down was a surprisingly easy task.

 

A soft purr tickled Optimus' audial. The red and blue mech stirred on his berth, grabbing onto nothing. He forgot when was the last time he slept so soundly.

The soft purr turned into a sigh and a whisper, "Slept well, my archivist?"

Optimus sighed softly back, turning his body to the other side. There was another mech on the berth, someone far more sizeable than Optimus. Bright red optics stared at Optimus longingly. Optimus felt a sharp digit dragging lazily across his chassis.

"Five more kliks, Megatron," Optimus mumbled as he buried himself into Megatron's chest.

Megatron chuckled and kissed Optimus' helm. "What's wrong, Optimus? Did your Autobots always keep you from recharge?"

Optimus pulled his head back and replied, "The only bot keeping me from recharging is you."

Megatron smirked deviously. "Forgive me, Prime. How could I be so inconsiderate? Would you want me to sing you a lullaby, as the humans call them?"

"You are ridiculous! And you haven't changed a single bit, Megatron." Optimus sighed and placed his head back onto Megatron's gray chassis.

Megatron hummed in agreement. He then let his hands travel aimlessly across Optimus' frame, from the back of his helm to his aft. Optimus shivered at the feather-soft touches. Suddenly, sleep was not so important to him. What he craved for was more of Megatron's servos on his body.

Optimus let out a soft, encouraging moan. He pulled away from Megatron and lay down on his back. Megatron raised an optic ridge but soon understood what his conjunx needed as Optimus gently grabbed both Megatron's servos and placed them on his windshield.

Megatron wasted no time grabbing Optimus' chassis and leaving scratch marks on his windows. Optimus bit down the urge to cry out Megatron's name. But Optimus reeled his head and called out for his lover when the gray mech scraped his denta on a sensitive wire. Optimus' spark drummed loudly in his chassis.

But the biting and scratching was becoming more uncomfortable. Then, there was a tinge of pain. He had felt worse before, but the discomfort woke him up. Then, the illusion of a fantasy vanished.

 

Megatron had been scratching for what felt like forever. His first attempt at clawing Optimus to death started from his pedes. When that did not work, he tried other places all over Optimus' frame. Nothing seemed to affect the sleeping Prime. He gave up and decided to do something else.

One cat nap and a trip around the berth room later, Megatron tried again. This time, he added his sharp teeth to his operation. He was surprised and excited when he realized Optimus still had a sensitive chest. The bot made an audible noise in his sleep. Megatron's ears perked up when he heard Optimus call out his name. Was he dreaming of one of their many fights? The cat could only guess as he continued scratching and biting.

Optimus' optics slowly powered. "It's been eons since I last dreamed about him and me together," he mumbled and frowned. "If only it went for a few more kliks."

But Optimus could not shake the weird, heavy sensation on his chest. He looked down and, with wide optics, saw Megatron on his chest, pawing him.

"Meg, how did you get into my hab suite?" Optimus asked in a soft voice to not scare the cat.

Megatron looked up, and the fur on his back raised. He let out an indignant meow. His plans were going awry! Optimus was far from dead, and the most damage he had done was denting his windshields. He watched as Optimus raised a hand. He closed his eyes, expecting the Autobot to swat him off of him. Instead, Optimus gently scratched his ears, much to his relief (and delight!)

"What's wrong, little one?" Optimus asked. "Do you need to use the litter?"

Optimus checked on the time. It was only one in the morning. He was sure most of the Autobots were already recharging. He did not want to disturb them. So, he gently picked up Megatron in his arms and exited his private abode.

Optimus felt surprisingly warm, and Megatron could not help but snuggle closer to his chassis. He may have used it as a scratching board before, but it seemed like Optimus had no problem letting the cat snuggle close to him. They entered the main HQ space, where everyone last left the supplies and toys.

Optimus sat Megatron down in the litter box. When Megatron stared at the bot in bewilderment, Optimus got up and turned around. "I won't watch, I promise."

Megatron swallowed the large lump in his throat. So this was how domesticated felines did their business, Megatron realized. He admitted his organic vessel did need some relieving. He did his business quickly and awkwardly shuffled out of the box. He then let out a meow, telling Optimus he finished.

Optimus turned around and got down on his knees. He had seen enough human media to know a bit about cat care. He took the litter's scooper and scooped the clumped clay from the box. He tossed the litter into a convenient trash can that the Autobots had prepared.

"Good girl, Meg," Optimus complimented the cat. "Now, is there anything else that you may need?"

Megatron was about to shake his head when his stomach got the best of him and grumbled to the point both he and Optimus heard.

"I'm sorry, Meg, but you have to make do with the cat food in the base." Optimus felt bad because both he and Megatron hated the smell.

Megatron meowed in defeat as Optimus opened a can. The food fell from the container and into a bowl. Megatron held his breath and took one bite.

Suddenly, his tastebuds experienced an explosion of flavor. It was better than any energon he had tried before. The taste of sardines was foreign yet surprisingly enjoyable on his tongue. It was as if he forgot how the food smelled as he inhaled the rest. Optimus watched, stunned at how the cat instantly changed from hating the cat food to adoring it!

"Slow down, Meg," Optimus said. "You do not want to choke on your food."

It took less than five minutes for all the food to disappear. Megatron curled up, contented on the floor. Optimus took the bowl away and came back with clean water. He then sat next to Megatron.

"You are a mysterious being, my feline friend," Optimus said as he ran his digits through Megatron's fur. "Yet you are all the more irresistible. I now understand why humans enjoy your kind's company."

Megatron purred and licked Optimus. While the two sat silently, Optimus remembered one of the many supplies the children brought back to the base. He got up and retrieved a brush designed for pets. He gently picked up the curious Megatron and placed him on his lap.

"Relax, Meg," Optimus smiled. "This will feel nice."

The brush ran smoothly through Megatron's groomed fur. Megatron purred louder and snuggled closer to Optimus' arms. Optimus continued brushing while Megatron changed positions, from lying on his stomach to lounging on his back. Megatron wanted that brush on every inch of his body, and the mech was more than willing to give in to his desire.

"You are looking very pretty, Meg," Optimus cooed. "Tomorrow, the humans will see you and be delighted in your shiny coat."

Getting pampered by Prime was not on Megatron's bucket list. But, he thought, having someone clean after you, giving you unlimited delicious food, and grooming you with a brush and compliments was not such a horrible deal. He could get used to this. And if the Decepticons ever failed to rescue him, he did not mind being Optimus' little pet. It was nothing like it used to be when they were together in Cybertron, but this might work in his favor.

A cat could dream.

Chapter 4

Summary:

The Decepticons were in deep trouble. Their leader now had the mind of a cat and was wreaking havoc on the Nemesis. Starscream was more than willing to claim leadership of the Decepticon ship. Too bad they wouldn't need a leader if there were no ship to pilot! Meanwhile, Megatron discovered the joy of catnip with the Autobots.

Notes:

Hey guysss! This chapter is long overdue. Thankfully, it is finally here! I hope you guys are ready for some Nemesis shenanigans. (Spoiler: it does not end well...) Also, can you guys believe we are almost at the end? I hope you enjoyed sticking around reading this fic. Last chapter will hopefully be around the first week of December. Thank you so much for making it this far :)

Meanwhile, in the dead of night on the Nemesis, Shockwave continued tracking Megatron's vitals. Unfortunately for everyone besides Starscream, the Decepticon leaders had yet to wake up.

"Face the fact, dear Shockwave," Starscream said while leaning against the scientist's workstation. "Your little experiment had cost our Master's spark. Maybe it is time for Megatron to retire somewhere more comfortable than this medbay."

Suddenly, Shockwave pointed a cannon hand at Starscream, causing the thinner bot to whimper. "Lord Megatron is not dead, Starscream. He is merely in stasis." Shockwave had been working the whole night, and throughout his effort, Starscream was around making commentary and generally being a nuisance.

"He has been in stasis for cycles! If anything, we should wake him if he still has a pulsing spark in that chassis. Otherwise, this ship and the subsequent demise of the Autobots shall fall on the leadership of an awake mech."

"Your leadership is not necessary, Starscream," Shockwave fired back.

"Only because you want to claim head of the Decepticon yourself!"

"On the contrary, I am certain that Lord Megatron is merely in recharge and can adequately lead the Decepticon without your meddling."

Starscream gasped. But before he could fire back an insult to the purple mech, they both heard a yawn. They looked at the massive berth and saw Megatron's body rising. Starscream cowered and hoped that the head of the Decepticon barely listened to what he had said to Shockwave.

But something was off about the gray mech. Megatron got up and got on all fours on the floor. There was a loud thud when he landed on his servos and pedes. Instead of a booming voice greeting Starscream and Shockwave, they got what sounded like a cat's meow. And when did Megatron have an affinity to lick his arm?

"Illogical," Shockwave said. "Lord Megatron had harnessed more than the cat's abilities. He had harnessed the cat's cognition."

"Oh, how joyful! Your experimentation work," Starscream jabbed. "Now, if only he could speak Cybertronian and get back on his pedes."

Shockwave cautiously approached Megatron. Megatron stared wide-eyed at Shockwave and hissed loudly. He crouched under the berth and swatted Shockwave away with sharp claws.

Suddenly, the door to the medbay opened. Knockout came in, unfaltering in announcing his presence. "Good evening. So far, no signs of Autobots. But- where's the big guy?"

Suddenly, Megatron pounced on the red mech. Knockout shouted as he fell to the floor. Shockwave and Starscream ran to the door, desperately trying to keep up with the feline-controlled Megatron. Knockout got up, rubbing his helm. He looked down and saw scratches all over his chassis. "I just buffed that!"

"Forget about your paint job," Starscream barked. "We need to get Lord Megatron back!"

"What happened to him?" Knockout asked as the three ran down the halls of the Nemesis.

"Our little experiment got Megatron's neural processor mixed up with that putrid feline," Starscream replied. "Now Lord Megatron believes he is a giant cat!"

"I shall tap into Lord Megatron's neural processor and extract the memories, abilities, and cognition of the feline subject," Shockwave explained, less to the two bots and more to himself. "Surely we could still salvage Megatron's personality and identity."

"Excellent thinking, Shockwave," Starscream said. "However, if that too shall fail, I believe it is only right to nominate a new leader on this ship."

Suddenly, Shockwave turned around and stared at Starscream with his single, threatening eye. Starscream whimpered. "You will keep your lips shut until we rescue Megatron," ordered Shockwave.

They finally caught up with Megatron, who had knocked two Vehicons down as he entered the ship's control room. Soundwave was on the steering keyboard, controlling the Nemesis. He did not even have to turn around to know that Megatron was already in the room. His cables extended, trying to disarm the rowdy mech.

But Megatron was a sizeable bot, and the cables, as sturdy as they may be, were toys to him. Megatron jumped, pawed, and chased after Soundwave's cables. No matter how tight Soundwave wrapped his wiring around Megatron's limbs in the hopes of tying him down, Megatron's cat-like maneuvering freed him with ease.

Shockwave, Starscream, and Knockout ran inside. All four mechs desperately chased after Megatron. But as large as the bot was, he snaked his way out of their grasp with grace and brute force. The bots kept bumping helms and servos with one another, cursing under their breath as their Master weaved away from them.

Megatron climbed on the steering keyboard, rocking the Nemesis off its axis. The ship wobbled and swayed, causing the other four mechs and the Decepticon army to slip and slide. The Nemesis tilted left and downward, sending it straight down to Earth. Everyone saw the ship heading headfirst to the desert ground. Starscream and Knockout shrieked while Shockwave and Soundwave prepared for impact.

 

"Optimus? Wake up."

Optimus' bright blue optics slowly powered on. He could feel soreness running through his system as he adjusted himself. The last thing he remembered was sitting on the floor, crossed-leg, playing with Meg-

Where was Meg?

He looked down and found the cat sleeping soundly in his arms, cradling a baton. Optimus' spark skipped a beat. So last night was not a dream, he thought. He gently scratched Megatron's left ear, earning a soft mewl from the cat.

Ratchet looked down at his friend and the cat. He placed his hands on his hips and said, "Looks like I have competition, huh, Optimus?"

Optimus smiled warmly and replied in his rich, baritone voice, "You will forever hold a special place in my spark, old friend. But surely you would not mind making space for our feline guest."

Ratchet got down to Optimus' height. The bot tried petting Megatron, who was slowly waking up. The cat glared at Ratchet, hissed, and bared his teeth. Ratchet instantly stood up.

"Looks like our 'feline guest' is not a fan of anyone but you, Optimus," Ratchet said. He looked down at Megatron, who huddled closer to Optimus' frame. His eyes then traveled back to Optimus' face. The Autobot leader seemed calmer, at peace with the cat. There was a genuine smile on Optimus' lips, and his eyes glowed bright like they did during the old days on Cybertron.

Like clockwork, the other members of Team Prime streamed into the main room of the silo. Bulkhead was first, followed by Arcee, Bumblebee, and finally Smokescreen. They all gathered around Megatron to see how he was doing.

Megatron still hid behind Optimus' pedes, but he did not mind getting a neck scratch from Bumblebee. If he was going to live in the Autobot HQ for a while, he better be on his best behavior, especially since the Autobots discovered his affinity for catnip treats.

"Are you sure that stuff would work on her?" Bulkhead asked as Smokescreen fished out a catnip treat from its packaging.

"Totally. I saw some cat videos last night, and they love this stuff!" Smokescreen said as he handed a treat to Megatron.

Megatron sniffed the treat from Smokescreen's servo. The smell was not as potent as the canned food. It was a pleasant herby scent. He took it into his mouth cautiously.

His mind instantly turned off, and he lost all control after one bite. He rolled on the floor like a cat in heat and meowed so loudly that it rivaled Miko's electric guitar.

"See?" Smokescreen said while Megaton whirled and flipped. "She loves it!"

Optimus and Ratchet watched as the Autobots petted and rubbed the happy cat. But their joy was short-lived as their base suddenly sounded an alarm. Ratchet looked at their monitor with wide optics.

"I'm picking up energy signals nearby," Ratchet announced. "Plenty of energy signals. It must be Decepticons. But what are they doing out in the desert?"

Everyone looked at Optimus, hoping to find an answer from the mech. While all their attention was on the red and blue mech, Megatron climbed onto Optimus' backside, sneaking into his frame. So the Decepticons finally came to their senses to rescue me, the cat thought. But he had to wonder: what happened to his Cybertronian body? Was it still in stasis?

"We will have to scout the area to see what the Decepticons are up to this time. We cannot let them get near our base or seen by humans," Optimus announced. "Ratchet, Ground Bridge us near their coordinates. Autobots, keep an eye out and stay as hidden as possible."

Ratchet activated the Ground Bridge. The Autobots transformed into their alt mode and rolled out. Megatron sat behind the passenger seat, holding onto Optimus' upholstered seats. The bot was too preoccupied to notice the cat's presence. Megatron lay low, hoping not to get spotted. He could not wait to see the Decepticons and give them a piece of his mind (and maybe leave a few dents on Starscream's frame.)

Chapter 5

Summary:

The Decepticons had one task: capture their cat-controlled leader and fast. And who else can help them track down their lost kitten than the Autobots? With an unlikely alliance, they must catch Megatron's body before it causes any more trouble. But how do you attract a gladiator-sized feline?

Notes:

Ahhh! Final chapter is here! I sped through this one the whole day so I could get it out as soon as possible. And boy, it was a lot of fun. Anyways, I won't let you guys wait any longer. Here is the final chapter of this fic. Enjoy <3

The sun barely peeked out of the horizon when a green-white portal appeared in the Nevada desert. The Autobots zoomed through the Ground Bridge and transformed. They saw a mountain and took cover behind it. The desert was eerily silent at dawn, save for a few wild animals howling from the distance. Team Prime surveyed their surroundings, wondering where the Decepticons were.

Smokescreen squinted. In a loud whisper, he asked, "Hey, is that their ship over there?"

He pointed at the Nemesis, crudely parked in the sand. There were Vehicons desperately trying to fix the broken wings of their ship. Other Cons were guarding the surrounding, holding onto their weapons.

"I don't get it," Arcee said. "Why would Cons be in the middle of the desert? There are no nearby energon deposits in this area."

"Maybe it's a trap?" Bulkhead suggested.

"Well, if it's a trap, they're not being subtle about it," Smokescreen replied.

Their debate did not last long as they heard a roar inside the Nemesis. The Vehicons ran to take cover as their leader pounced onto the deck. The Autobots immediately prepared their weapons. The Decepticon head acted erratic as it knocked down his Vehicons and frantically ran away from the Nemesis. Team Prime watched Megatron running on his fours. The bot then stopped, looked around, and started licking his panel.

Wait, what? That was on everybody's mind as they put their weapons down.

"Looks like Bucket Head lost it," Bulkhead said.

Optimus retracted his battle mask. He examined the odd way Megatron licked himself with his tongue, contorting his metal body in ways even he was surprised to see. He prepared his dagger and said, "Stay behind me. I will go near Megatron and capture him."

The Autobots held their blasters up high as Optimus carefully approached his enemy. He could hear the gray mech purring while he groomed himself. But before Optimus could land a servo on the bot, the cat-controlled mech looked straight at him and hissed. The Autobots prepared to shoot. The threatening sound of blasters powering on scared the gray bot, causing him to run away.

"You fools!"

The Autobots turned and saw Starscream shouting, followed by Knockout, Shockwave, Soundwave, and a couple of Vehicons. Starscream grunted and said, "We almost got Megatron, but you Autobots just have to show up!"

Before the Autobots could reply, Megatron (the cat) sprang out of Optimus' chassis, hissing. Starscream shrieked while the Maine Coon left scratches and bite marks on the mech's face plate.

"Primus! Get it off of me!" Starscream fell to the ground and wrestled with the cat. Optimus immediately ran to them and pulled Megatron off of Starscream.

"Illogical," Shockwave said as Optimus held up the cat in his servos. "That cat should have been dead."

"Hey! Don't say those things around Meg," Smokescreen shouted.

"You gave that thing a name!?" Starscream fired back.

Megatron trashed violently in Optimus' servos until he fell on the desert ground. He balanced himself on his hind legs and scolded his mech as if he were in his original frame, not a cat's body. Optimus watched in bewilderment (and maybe in amusement) at the sight. But then it hit him like a truck.

"Megatron is in the cat's body," Optimus concluded. "And the Megatron we saw earlier has the cognition of the feline." Megatron looked at the red and blue mech and meowed in agreement.

"So this whole time, we had Megatron in the base?!" Ratchet shouted over comm.

"You know, if you think about it, calling Megatron 'Meg' is a lot more fitting than we thought it would be," Smokescreen commented. The rest of the Autobots gave him a bitter side-eye.

"It appears that is the logical conclusion," Shockwave said as he picked up the silver feline. "But if we reverse the experimentation, we may return Lord Megatron to his proper frame. But first, we must capture the mech."

They could hear the meows coming from the feline-controlled mech from the distance. "Pardon me for interrupting," Knockout butted in. "But if we don't stop Lord Meg-Cat-Tron, he will wreak havoc at the nearest town he comes by."

Shockwave looked at Optimus with his single, unmoving eye. The purple bot's aura sent shivers down Optimus' back strut.

"I propose a temporary truce," Shockwave said, his voice giving away no emotions. "We shall work together to capture Megatron."

Optimus looked down at the cat. Suddenly, he feared the future for the feline once it and Megatron's identities swapped back. Would the Decepticon dispose of Meg again once they finished with the experimentation? Optimus could not bear the idea of an innocent life being exterminated for the sake of science, even if it was only a Maine Coon.

"We will only agree if you give the cat back to us safe," Optimus replied, face as unreadable as Shockwave's.

"Affirmative," Shockwave replied without hesitation.

"And how will we know this isn't another one of your schemes?" Arcee asked with suspicion.

"Well, dear Arcee," Starscream said. "If this is truly one of our plans to kill you Autobots, it would not start with our ship crash landing in the middle of nowhere!"

Bumblebee buzzed and beeped, pointing in the direction where Megatron went.

"Bumblebee is correct," Optimus said. "What is our plan to lure Megatron to us if he is afraid?"

Everyone went silent. Even Ratchet was speechless back at the base. But their train of thought was cut by Smokescreen, who raised a hand to catch everyone's attention.

"I got it!" Smokescreen announced. "Guys, have you ever heard of a thing here on Earth called 'catnip?"

 

Optimus trusted his Autobots as much as they trusted him. He knew they always had the potential to lead and invent strategies in moments when even he was at a loss. Even with their small number, he could rely on them to think on their feet and come out victorious.

Today, he had to stretch that trust for the Decepticons as well.

Optimus raced back to the desert after Ground Bridging at their base to grab a bag of catnip treats. Megatron, the cat, sat in the passenger seat with the treats. (The feline insisted to come.) Optimus was sure the treats would work on almost any cat on Earth. But would the effects be the same for a million-year-old Cybertronian? Granted, that Cybertronian was under the mind control of a feline, but that only made things more complicated.

Optimus and Megatron finally arrived at the Autobots and Decepticons' location. They had spotted Megatron the mech, hiding in a valley, playing with a tumbleweed. Optimus appeared behind them, already transformed. Megatron, the cat, sat on his shoulders while the bag of treats was in his hands.

"Are you ready, Optimus?" Bulkhead asked in a hushed tone.

Optimus nodded. "I'm ready."

Cautiously, the red and blue mech climbed down the valley. Optimus watched the gray mech, cleaning himself, unaware of his presence. He crouched down and retracted his battle mask. The sound of his mechanical body caught Megatron the mech's attention. The cat-controlled gladiator was about to run away again.

But Optimus kept low, and in a soft voice, he cooed, "Pspspspspspspsps."

The fear behind Megatron's red optics changed into curiosity. The mech slowly approached Optimus. Optimus, in turn, offered a catnip treat for the cat mech to sniff. The Autobots and Decepticons held their breath as Megatron nibbled on the fish-shaped kibble. Suddenly, the gray mech took the whole treat out of Optimus' servos and started crunching. And with a snap, the mech was on his back, flipping and meowing.

Optimus got up. He signaled the bots to come down one by one to capture Megatron. Shockwave was the first to slide into the valley. He pulled out an anesthetic needle fitting for a bot the size of Megatron. He stabbed the injection into the mech's neck. There was a bit of resistance from the gray mech, but it did not take long until he curled up and fell asleep. The Vehicons cuffed Megatron's sleeping frame and carried him back to the ship.

Shockwave approached Optimus and Megatron, the cat. Optimus straightened his posture and said to the purple mech, "I will join you on board the Nemesis. I shall hold onto Megatron."

"Very well," Shockwave replied. "But once our truce is through, you shall evacuate from our ship."

"You have my word, Shockwave."

 

It was not Optimus' first time on the Nemesis. He could still recall the dark and twisted hallways within the ship. Although, he felt oddly at ease while he stroked Megatron in his arms.

A pair of Vehicons followed behind him. Meanwhile, Shockwave, Soundwave, Starscream, and Knockout were far ahead of him, talking to one another. Starscream, as usual, dominated the conversation, followed by Knockout, who was as chatty as the Seeker. Both Shockwave and Soundwave stayed quiet.

Optimus looked down and found Megatron staring back at him. The big-eyed feline looked hesitant—as if he did not want to return to being a Decepticon.

"At some point, you need to reunite with your original frame, Megatron," Optimus softly spoke. "And there is no better time than now."

Megatron made a face, almost as if he was pouting. Even if he was his sworn enemy, it could not help but pull on Optimus' heartstrings. For a brief moment, he did not imagine the warlord. Instead, he remembered the many times when his partner acted stubbornly over petty arguments and disagreements. Why could they not go back to a time like that? A time when Cybertron was not a war-torn planet. A time when he and Megatron could both be stubborn without strangling one another to death.

"I am going to miss our brief reunion, Megatron," Optimus said while rubbing Megatron's left ear. "I have to admit, you do a great job being a cat than a dictator."

Megatron scoffed. But he continued purring when Optimus scratched a sensitive spot behind his ear. Oh, he was going to miss this part of being a cat. Now that he thought about it, he was going to miss a lot of things. In the back of his mind, as much as he hated to admit it, he was already missing Optimus.

The doors for the med bay snapped open, and everyone poured into the room. The setup for the machine was snappy. It did not take too long to strap Megatron and his Cybertronian body onto work tables. Optimus watched from a safe distance as the Decepticons did their job. Within a few kliks, the experiment was over.

Megatron slowly opened his red optics. His body still felt heavy from the anesthesia, but he fought the urge to stay in stasis. He lifted his helm and studied the med bay. The first mech he saw was no one else but Optimus Prime.

Suddenly, the Decepticons pulled their weapons out and pointed them towards Optimus. The leader of the Autobots stood his ground, ready to battle. The Decepticons waited for Megatron's command. They half expected Megatron to order them to capture or kill Optimus.

But Megatron merely waved a servo and said, "Let Optimus go. We'll deal with him another day. He can also take his cat with him."

There was hesitation from the Decepticons as they brought their weapons down. Optimus walked over to the sleeping Maine Coon and picked it up. He looked at Megatron one last time and saw the gray mech watching him. Not a single word fell from their dermas, but their optics said everything there was to say. Go, leave now.

 

Back at the base, everyone gathered around Optimus and the rescued Maine Coon. They decided to keep the name Meg for the cat, especially since the kids were right about it being a girl. Meg merrily ate the cat food the Autobots gave her, blissfully unaware of how she almost missed her demise.

"Don't get too attached, Optimus," Ratchet teased. "We still need to look for a home for Meg."

"I understand, old friend," Optimus said while petting Meg's ears. "Meg had been a disposable test subject for the Decepticons, but she deserves a life of peace with human companions. But for now, she will be a temporary member of the Autobots."

"Let's just hope Agent Fowler would not flip over the fact that Megatron had accidentally infiltrated the base," Arcee commented.

The Autobots chatted with one another about what had happened that morning. But Optimus' attention was on Meg. He could not help but think of Megatron back at the Nemesis. He wondered how he was doing, especially after switching bodies with a cat. His bonding with Megatron felt suddenly bittersweet. He knew now that he was pampering his enemy. But deep down, he wondered if he could do that again.

 

Megatron ordered his mech to leave him for a while to recuperate. Truth be told, though, he never felt better. Instead, he took the time to sulk in his throne room, away from the eyes of his Decepticons. Even Starscream knew better than to disturb him when he was deep in his thoughts.

But all Megatron could think of was Optimus Prime! That Optimus Prime and his soothing voice. Optimus Prime and his soft fingers stroking his body. Optimus Prime and his affection. He desperately wanted to offline the bot while craving more of his presence. The only silver lining Megatron could conjure was that his Decepticons were not there to witness their number one enemy pampering him.

But the more Megatron mulled over his experience, the more he felt thankful for the Prime. It was better than dying in the Nevada desert, never to be heard of again. He got to experience what it was like to be cared for, even for a short period. And, in a twisted way, he made Optimus Prime his servant for a night.

He wondered how open-minded the Autobots were. If they could let stray cats into their base, would they mind letting in a particular stray gray mech? And would Optimus Prime allow him to lie on his lap and give him those heavenly ear-scratches?

Notes:

Thank you so much for finishing this fic with me. It was a lot of fun writing Meg-cat-tron and the gang. It's been a while since I wrote any long-form fanfics, so I am very proud of this one (even if it's meant to be a silly story.)

Stay tuned for future updates and fics on my Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/friedriceandmalice

Anyways, thank you again for all the kudos, comments, and bookmarks. It means the absolute world to me. Cheers! 🥂