Chapter Text
Danny created a groupchat
Danny added Maxy, Yukes, Lancelot, and a bunch of others the author doesn’t want to count to the groupchat.
Danny named the groupchat, Cotton-eyed Joe fuckers
Maxy:
Dan I think you are the only person who would sleep with Cotton-eye Joe
Danny:
Shh, this is a safe space Max.
Carlos:
What the fuck is this.
Danny:
Language
Charles:
Language
Lewis:
Language.
Maxy renamed the groupchat, Language
Danny:
Maxy how could you
Danny:
Anyways
To answer your question, this is a dorm block support group.
Maxy:
He wants to know if anyone else saw the monster crawling on the ceiling
I think he was high
Lance:
No I saw it too
Estie:
Lance I’ve watched you snort flour because you were hungover and thought it was cocaine that is not reassuring.
Danny:
Wait Lance does cocaine?
Lance:
I’m rich and depressed of course I do cocaine.
Lewis:
I do not think cocaine is that expensive.
Lance:
No but the laws don’t apply when you reach a certain level.
Danny:
Elitist
Lance:
Poor
Danny:
Wow
Alex:
I think Georgie is trying to summon a demon
Estie:
I’m sorry what the fuck
Maxy:
Language
Charles:
No I’m with Estie on this one
Georgie:
God forbid women do anything
Charles:
Oh yay I don’t have to ask
Georgie:
Yes I am a woman today, hold the applause
Maxy:
Do you want to take my cramps?
Georgie:
Tempting but no.
Danny:
God, please take all of Maxie’s period cramps, double them and give them to Georgie
Georgie:
What the fuck Daniel.
Daniel:
You’re the one summoning a demon
Lance:
God, please take all of Maxie’s period cramps, double them and give them to the demon George is summoning.
Charles:
Aren’t you jewish?
Lance:
We’re getting a little sacriligious in here
Yuki:
Slay
Charles:
Alright who taught Yuki how to slay
Yuki:
Pop off girlboss queen
Alex:
I think we moved on from the demon far too fast.
Georgie:
Yuki you’re saying it wrong.
Georgie:
VOICE MESSAGE
Alex:
HELP WHY WAS THERE GROWLING IN THE BACKGROUND
Daniel:
MY CEILING CRAWLER
Georgie:
I'M GOING TO PASS CALC ONE WAY OR ANOTHER
Carlos:
This went off the rails fast
Oscar:
I don’t think there ever were rails.
Checo:
I’m muting this
Maxy:
Checo noooooooooooooooooooooo
Daniel:
He’s doing puppy eyes Checo, you can’t do this to him.
Daniel:
[IMAGE ID: A photo of Max taken from an above angle, making puppy eyes and pouting, he really does look pathetic, Checo how could you resist]
Checo:
Fine,
Charles:
Why are we all subject to Max’s emotional whims.
Georgie:
You got hard didn’t you
Charles:
Every time you anger me I think of how fast you would have gotten burned as a witch in the middle ages.
Georgie:
I’m fireproof I tested it
Danny:
Charles sometimes Max lets me stick my face in his tits and he uses my head as a desk
Yuki:
TMI, TMI DANIEL
Georgie:
@carlos, is Charles hard.
Carlos:
…
Charles:
…
Charles:
Lance, how much would I have to pay you to make me a painting of Georgie being burnt at the stake.
Lance:
Sandwich
Charles:
Wonderfully unhelpful thank you
Estie:
Please don’t give me more horror paintings, the eyes still haunt me.
Lance:
I was in a mood.
Estie:
I am going to burn them
Lance:
I’ll burn you
Charles:
Can we burn Georgie too
Lance:
Sure
Georgie:
I’m fireproof I told you
Alex:
How do you know that
Georgie:
Oven
Daniel:
I’m going to start a list of who I’m the most terrified of in this building.
Yuki:
Slay
Pierre:
Yuki be like they/them more like slay/them
Lando:
LMAO,
Charles:
I think Pierre exists solely to hype up Yuki.
Yuki:
Yeah
Pierre:
Yeah.
Georgie:
I am not as fireproof as I thought
Alex:
WHAT
Lewis:
WHAT
Maxy:
Alex’s heartrate going like a roller coaster lol
Daniel:
Max is making popcorn
Lando:
I heard the fire extinguisher
Oscar:
How do you hear that?
Lando:
I
I live next door
Oscar:
I’m going to kill myself
Lance:
Same
Estie:
I never know if you’re joking when you say that
You’re going to give me a heart attack
Alex:
George is fine
Charles:
Damn, I was about to celebrate
George:
The candles burnt my favourite bathrobe :(
Charles:
But it couldn’t burn you
Alex:
Charles stop wishing death on my boyfriend please
Lewis:
Oh I didn’t know you were dating!
Alex:
We live together
Lewis:
So do Danny and Max?
Danny:
How dare you Lewis me and Max are SOULMATES
Maxy:
Friends with benefits
Danny:
That too.
George and Lance
Private messages
Lance:
So…Lewis
George:
I can’t tell Alex dude I can’t
Lance:
He’s not gonna think you cheated man,
Lance:
Not your fault idk how you still think it is
George:
But I should’ve known
Lance:
Ok so I’m pretty sure we’ve had this conversation like 7 times, if you need to trauma dump i’m here but don’t expect any new answers
George:
I know
Lance:
Not exactly the peak of mental health over here
George:
Do you ever want to talk about yourself? I mean, you kinda just let me use you as therapy
George:
I feel bad sometimes
Lance:
Nah its good, i got it all figured out
George:
But you would talk to me right? If you didn’t?
Lance:
Sure
George:
Ok, I’ll tell Alex but only when his exams are over, otherwise it’s just more stress for him
Lance:
Idk man you keep putting it off
George:
What do you know about committed relationships
George:
You just sleep with anyone who looks sideways at you
Lance:
Can’t help i’m hot
George:
Lol
But I'm serious, I'll set a calendar reminder and everything.
Lance:
Alright,
Go girl
George:
That’s all you have to say?
Lance:
You’re an adult Georgie
Lance:
I’m not your babysitter
Language
Group messages
Danny:
Alright so who was gonna tell me Lauda cancelled his class
Maxy:
Sorry :( i got sidetracked talking to gp
Pierre:
GP?
Danny:
Mr Lambiase, just one of the many, many teachers that have adopted Max
Carlos:
I wanna get adopted
Danny:
You have to be pathetic and dutch and way too skinny
Lando:
Max, Max i’m your brother right
Maxy:
Stop trying to steal my dads
Estie:
Stop hoarding all the dads
Danny:
They don’t let him cheat
They just give him tutoring and snacks and actual helpful feedback and let him nap in class
Maxy:
Once i emailed gp because i had bad dysmporphia and he sent me the work :)
Charles:
Okay that’s actually so cute tho
Alex:
I’m going to get adopted, this sounds so nice
Lance:
You see I just go with the classic route called sleeping with your teacher
Logan:
Ok yeah but how successful have you been this year actually?
Lance:
shush eagle boy, its a process
Estie:
Lance I have this great idea called, doing the coursework
Logan:
Eagle boy?
Lance:
Thats boring tho
Lance:
And i’m not smart enough lmao
Yuki:
God I feel that
Checo:
You are both very smart
Yuki:
Thank you Checo
Yuki:
I have been stress baking
Oscar:
Yes and it smells HEAVENLY
Logan:
He’s sitting against the door so he can smell it better
Logan:
Just, on the floor,
Pierre:
My back hurts just thinking about it
Yuki:
Yeah cuz your back is like a bunch of rusty slinkys stuck together with glitter glue
Yuki:
I hear it cracking all night
Yuki:
It’s like we live in a haunted house
Max:
Pierre, go to a chiropractor
Pierre:
No its fine
It doesn’t bother me
Yuki:
Bothers me, keeps me up
Lando:
Well now you have to
Checo:
Disappointing Yuki is a crime
Pierre:
Alright, but I don’t know any
Maxy:
I know a good one ill send you their site
Pierre and Max
Private messages
Maxy:
[Link: chiropractor website]
Maxy:
So Yuki can sleep lol
Pierre:
Why do you go to a chiropractor?
Pierre:
Just curious, you don’t have to answer
Maxy:
Nah its fine,
My tits give me back pain
It just feels nice
Pierre:
Ah, alright
Pierre:
Thank you for the recommendation
Maxy:
O7