Chapter Text
Berdly woke up with a pep in his step, going through his morning preen in a laid-back fashion with all the precision of a runway model. Today was the day. His and Kris's one week anniversary of real dating. And the day he was going to let their mutual friends know about his and his partner's genius deception during their group brunch.
Kris had already texted him to let him know they were picking him up. He tried not to swoon at the chivalry, but ever since he had fully accepted his feelings and the two started dating, holding them back had become harder and harder, to the point that it was now physically challenging for the bluebird to avoid blurting out the ruse whenever he hung out with Noelle.
It was strange to think about how little had really changed between their second week of fake dating and their first week of real dating. They were already acting like an old married couple before, seeing as apparently they both harbored subconscious feelings for each other. The only difference was the way they were both hiding under a veil of denial, using the artifice of their relationship as a fallback to avoid confronting their very real feelings.
(Berdly got both annoyed and deeply embarrassed every time he thought about it. He and Kris would have gotten together so much earlier if he wasn't such an utter coward.)
A very specific knock pattern at his door snapped him out of his thoughts, and he smiled affectionately. He already recognized that manner of knocking, so he swiftly opened the door to see the lovely partner he'd been awaiting. They smiled brightly at him, such an unusual gesture reserved for their happiest moments. It stole the breath right out of Berdly's lungs, the way they were dressed acting as their smile's dastardly partner in crime.
They were wearing the showstopping hazel skirt they'd worn for the “fake” date, though with an unfortunate lack of that maroon lipstick he'd obsessively stared at for disproportionate amounts of time when it had lingered on the back of his wing after said outing (he supposed it made sense - they were going out for brunch, after all. It would be a waste to smudge something so pretty). Berdly couldn't stop the erratic acceleration of his SOUL and the excited swish of his tail behind him at the sight. How in the world had he managed to woo such a beautiful partner?
Without further thought, he walked into Kris's arms in a very literal fashion, burying himself in their warm embrace and spreading his wings across their back in the all-encompassing way he knew they liked. They tightened their arms around his neck, chuckling softly.
“Missed me that badly?” they teased, their mumbly, slightly raspy voice making his SOUL soar. “It's been like, a day since we last hung out, birdie.”
“Shut up.” Berdly replied, nuzzling into their neck and relishing in the warmth of their skin. His partner squirmed under him, shaking with barely contained giggles.
“Your beak tickles.” they squeaked. Berdly continued his attack without hesitation, forcing their laughter to increase in volume, until they'd gotten sick of all the nuzzling and pushed him away playfully.
(He knew Kris wasn't actually sick of the nuzzling itself. Hugs simply felt constraining to them if they lasted too long. Berdly didn't get an exception just because he was their boyfriend now; physical discomfort didn't make exceptions, and he was just fine with that.)
Berdly released the human, wings lingering on their midriff despite himself. He really liked that specific point of contact - though he loved it even more so when the roles were reversed and Kris's hands were latched firmly onto his waist, kneading the area between their fingers in a truly maddening manner.
…Especially when it was accompanied by sharp breaths and rough bites to his neck and soft murmurings of you're so quiet, pretty bird, don't be afraid to sing-
He willed himself not to go too deep into his reminiscence, finally dropping the hold on Kris's waist to help vanquish the hormonal thoughts. There were more pressing matters at hand, and he was nothing if not efficient. He could daydream about that some other time.
“What are you holding there?” he asked, staring at his partner's balled fist.
Kris opened their hand like a clam presenting a pearl, revealing a small, smooth black pebble with a white stripe pattern, which they gently placed on Berdly's wing.
‘Pretty pebble for pretty bird.’ they signed with a cheeky, affectionate smile.
Berdly felt himself blush wildly, feathers fluffing up. He was still not at all used to such forward gift giving, but at the very least, he knew they were intentionally courting him now. The thought never failed to make him giddy.
“Thank you, dear.” he chuckled, averting his eyes as if hoping that Kris wouldn't see how flustered he was if he wasn't looking at them. He analyzed the pebble more thoroughly, noting how the black color dulled into a gray near the thin white stripes. “This is a very unique pattern.”
‘Zebra.’ Kris signed.
“It does look like zebra stripes.” he mused in agreement. “Though its colors would have to be swapped for more accuracy.”
‘Zebras are black with white stripes.’ they snarked in ASL, somehow.
Berdly furrowed his brows. “…No they aren't.”
Kris nodded. Berdly bristled.
“They aren't.” he repeated, narrowing his eyes. “Do not think you can gaslight me more effectively now that we're dating, Dreemurr.”
His partner rolled their eyes, sticking their tongue out at him. ‘Look it up.’
(A quick Encyclomedia search proved him wrong rather quickly.)
“…Ugh. Perhaps you were right. For once.” he admitted begrudgingly. Kris chittered like a raccoon. It was, unfortunately, endearing enough for Berdly to disregard their spat completely and move on to a different, more relevant topic.
“Anyway! Today is the day!” Berdly chirped enthusiastically, definitely not as a distraction. “We're going to tell them! How do you feel?”
Kris stared at him silently, face inexpressive but eyes glimmering with affection.
“Like I really, really want to kiss you.” they said, brutally honest.
Even a week into their relationship, the bluebird couldn't stop himself from blushing, SOUL soaring at the confession. Damn. They were not helping keep down his wandering thoughts from earlier. He had to remain focused.
“Oh, please, my dear, there's no need to be so direct!” he scoffed good-humoredly, waving a wing in fluster. He was strong and independent and could avoid falling for his partner's wiles. “We are both well aware of how badly you desire me.”
His partner made a tch noise under their breath, before moving in to press a light kiss to his beak. Then another. And another. Effortlessly chaining little kisses together like a Smashing Fighters zero to death combo. Berdly felt lightheaded.
“Noisy.” they mumbled between kisses, but the complaint had a metric ton of endearment behind it. “Shut up.”
The human kept peppering Berdly with kisses, in spite of the bluebird's halfhearted protests of not being on time for their meeting. He couldn't bring himself to shove them off, though. Not when he felt so incredibly giddy at all their attention and his resolve was subliming away into nothing like dry ice.
“Kriiiiiiiiis.” he whined, muffled between their lips, yet he still made no move to push them away. How could he? They were annoyingly good at being distracting. “Come on, dearest. You know I hate to be late, and besides, I'd never hear the end of it from Susie.”
Begrudgingly, Kris pulled back, leaving one last peck above the tip of his beak as if they were pecking his nonexistent nose.
“Fine.” they rolled their eyes, but they were smiling. “For you, pretty bird, I will be on time.”
Berdly flushed. He was beginning to think that was their new favorite pet name for him, maybe in part due to the way he reacted when it was used. Kris had always loved getting a reaction out of him, even before the shenanigans that led them to become a couple. It would be foolish to think it would stop now.
(He was immensely glad it hadn't stopped. Heavens above, he really did love seeing their amused expression and hearing their melodic laugh after successfully getting under his skin, even back then.)
Berdly placed the patterned pebble they'd given him on his shelf of keepsakes, next to a myriad of other pebbles with varying colors and patterns as well as a singular bluebird plush from their festival outing, and followed them out of his room, unable to prevent the way he skipped enthusiastically out the door like an utter fool.
Snowy had been right about one thing all that time ago at the party; Berdly was absolutely whipped for his partner, and he wouldn't want it any other way.
[…]
Noelle had a good morning. A great morning, in fact. Her mother hadn't given her any grief over her dating Susie yet, her antlers didn't scrape the headboard as she woke up, and most importantly, she was going to have brunch with her friends and girlfriend at QC's. She was up and ready to tackle her day with enthusiasm for once. Not even thinking about the mess that was Kris and Berdly's “relationship” was gonna bring her down. Or thinking about the fact that it had been well over three weeks and their shenanigans were still ongoing. Or thinking about how often the two had been around each other, how openly affectionate they were.
(How Berdly no longer flinched or stuttered when his and Kris's relationship was put into question.)
Yep, nope, that did not affect her one bit. She was fully confident there was nothing that could catch her off guard today.
The reindeer made her way through her front door and outside the gates, smoothing her skirt one last time before meeting up with Susie further ahead. She would've liked her girlfriend to come meet her at the gates, but she wasn't about to test her mother's patience. This much tolerance of Susie's general existence and of the fact that she and Noelle were dating was already unprecedented enough.
Susie bounded over excitedly as soon as she spotted her, tail wagging behind her. Before she could react, the saurian wrapped her arms around her and lifted her into the air in a tight hug, hooking one arm under her legs swiftly to shift her into a bridal carry. Noelle giggled in between squeals of surprise and delight, wrapping her arms around her girlfriend's neck. She was still not quite used to Susie picking her up so effortlessly, but she would be lying if she said she didn't love it.
“Morning, bells.” Susie murmured as they embraced, nipping her cheek lightly as a playful, affectionate gesture. Noelle turned her cheek so she could give the saurian a light peck on the muzzle. “Ready to deal with those idiots being fake-lovey again?”
Noelle tried not to look too dismayed at the reminder of what exactly she was about to power through. Susie had concluded that Kris and Berdly's relationship was fake at about the same time Noelle came to the realization that the two of them had indeed caught genuine romantic feelings for each other, so there was a bit of an odd split between their perspectives now. She didn't have the heart to tell her girlfriend that she'd come to the wrong conclusion. Or, she supposed, it was technically the right one, but a little too late.
“Don't remind me.” she sighed, leaning her back on Susie's arm. “I love them, but if I have to see them act like that one more time, I might finally lose it.”
Susie cackled, slowly setting Noelle back down. The reindeer almost wanted to ask her to princess-carry her all the way to QC's, a feat she knew the saurian was more than capable of, but that would be a ridiculous request. And it would make her a massive hypocrite. Berdly would never let it go.
“Right?” Susie grinned. “Like, we see the ruse, dumbasses. You ain't fooling us into thinking you like-like each other anymore!”
(Noelle chose not to comment. It was a really hard decision to make.)
The walk to QC's was short and sweet, the two walking with interlocked arms the whole way. Noelle loved clinging to Susie like that, or when she clung to her in turn. It made her feel more grounded, reminded her that this was real. That she really was dating her handsome girlfriend.
And it also prevented her eyes from bulging out of her sockets at the sight in front of the door to the restaurant.
Kris and Berdly had arrived before them. This wasn't very surprising; Berdly was incredibly diligent and had a very particular routine that required him to wake up early, and that routine must have rubbed off on Kris a little, because they'd been waking up way before midday lately (though not as early as Berdly, which, y'know, extremely reasonable). What was surprising, though, was the way the two were standing by the door.
Berdly's wing feathers were intertwined with Kris's fingers, their arms so close together their shoulders were almost touching. They were looking at each other with a specific fondness that was somewhat startling, talking to each other like they were the only two people in the entire world. The way Berdly's eyes sparkled unabashedly and the visible smile on Kris's face were nearly vertigo-inducing.
(She couldn't help but wonder if they viewed this outing as a double date in their wishful thoughts. The idea made her giggle in her head, even if a little dismally.)
“Hey nerds!” Susie yelled out to them, shattering the moment. “You plannin' to stop sucking face anytime soon?!”
The two lovebirds turned to look at Susie, Berdly looking more flustered than Noelle had seen him in the past week. Kris unlaced their fingers from Berdly's wing, letting them linger over the individual feathers as they pulled away, then walked over to Susie with a little grin on their face.
They hooked an arm around Susie's neck in a loose headlock, standing on their tiptoes to do so, and reached over to the saurian's face to bite her cheek playfully (though, to Noelle, it looked like they'd used the entirety of their bite strength for it). Susie didn't flinch at all, sending them a toothy grin and returning the gesture once they let go. Noelle noted the saurian had bitten them a little harder than she'd bit Noelle, though not enough to draw blood.
Berdly rolled his eyes so intensely it was like the action had somehow made a noise of exasperation itself.
“Our partners are such hassles, aren't they?” he sighed dreamily.
“Wouldn't trade it for the world.” Noelle replied, for once not thinking about whatever the hell the bluebird's relationship to Kris was and simply enjoying the ridiculous displays of affection between Susie and her queerplatonic partner.
The four of them made their way back to the entrance of QC's. Berdly picked up his pace and began walking a couple of steps ahead to open the door suavely, gesturing inside with his free wing.
“Ladies.” he said with a flourish and a chivalrous smile.
Noelle entered the restaurant at his insistence, thoroughly confused. It wasn't like that was out of character for him, he'd definitely done such things before (and even if he hadn't, Noelle wouldn't put it past him), but it was still strange. Looking at Susie, she saw her confusion reflected in her girlfriend's furrowed brow as she followed her inside.
Kris, naturally, did not walk in. Instead, they walked up to Berdly, who left his post and switched places with them so that they were the one holding the door open.
‘Berdly.’ they spelled out in sign language, mimicking the bluebird's previous flourish afterwards.
Berdly put a wing to his chest, giving them an overdramatically affectionate look, and walked in as well, before Kris followed the rest of their friends inside and let the door fall closed behind them.
Gosh. Noelle had to give it to them, that was actually pretty cute. Since when did the two of them do such silly, weirdly adorable things? What had happened in the past week that made them so comfortable in their “fake relationship”? Had this progressed into a “didn't know they were dating” situation??
“What overcompensators.” Susie grumbled, rolling her eyes, but even she looked endeared at the oddly cute gesture.
They all took their seats at a table in the back of the diner, right next to a window. In the back of her mind, she noted that the table they'd sat at was unnervingly similar to the one at ICE-E'S that fateful day, and the order they were sitting in was the same, Kris and Susie sitting by the window with Berdly and Noelle next to them respectively. She was hit with a hefty wave of déjà vu, which she managed to shake off.
The brunch itself went relatively normally, if you disregarded how close Kris and Berdly sat and how they'd often share cutesy looks that they had definitely not shared all those weeks ago, back when they first let Susie and Noelle know about their “relationship”. Things had certainly shifted, but no one was willing to point it out, simply conversing as if nothing was off, as if Kris and Berdly weren't acting like they were on their honeymoon phase and one step away from literally feeding each other their respective food.
Noelle bit back a scoff. It was as sickening as it was cute. She briefly remembered the fateful outing at ICE-E's, where Berdly had gotten annoyed that Noelle and Susie were disregarding the conversation to fawn over each other. How the turntables.
“-and that, my dear friends, is why I believe the newest Dragon Blazers V trailer is attempting to hint at a deeper relationship between the Rogue and the Knight!” Berdly finished proudly.
Noelle blinked out of her trance. She'd somehow missed an entire speculative conversation about the next Dragon Blazers release. She blanched, both in disappointment and surprise. What was wrong with her?
“No way!” Susie scoffed, waving a paw. “All the Rogue does is piss off the Knight to get a reaction out of him! They're probably not even friends!”
‘Disagree.’ Kris signed. ‘Could be a sign of affection.’
“Of course you would say that.” the saurian rolled her eyes. “Don't you find the Rogue super relatable?”
“I think Berdly's right, actually.” Noelle interjected. “It makes a lot more sense for the Rogue to be teasing the Knight specifically because they're friends and that's the way their bond works, especially since they're known for being a trickster in general. Plus, the Knight seems to enjoy teasing them back.”
“You too, bells??” Susie gasped dramatically, looking down at where the reindeer's head rested on her upper arm. “Damn. Always the ones closest to you, huh?”
“Come on, is it not clear that there's some rivals to lovers going on in there?” Berdly insisted, not very discreetly shooting Kris an affectionate look. “At the very least from the Knight's side.”
Kris rolled their eyes, equally as affectionate. Having known them for so long, Noelle understood them well enough to know that they were currently deciding whether or not to step on his talons.
“Oh, I'm glad you're speaking of rivals to lovers.” Susie's mouth twisted into a grin with vaguely malicious intent as she fixed her eyes on Berdly specifically. “How's your rivals to lovers going, huh?”
Noelle perked up, straightening up on her seat so rigidly she'd practically become a straight line. Was it time? Were they finally having this conversation? Angel above. She wasn't sure she was ready. Should she close her eyes and count to ten?
Berdly's feathers fluffed up a little. It was still the most caught off guard the reindeer had seen him in the past week when the topic of their relationship was brought up.
“Jealous of my immaculate love life, Susan?” the bluebird raised a cocky eyebrow, smirking widely. He looked extremely punchable. Noelle felt bad for having that internal thought, but only briefly.
Thankfully, Kris did indeed punch him, though it was probably lighter than he deserved. Berdly turned to look at them, scoffing good-humoredly.
‘Don't be a dick.’ they signed. ‘Valid question.’
“Fine, fine.” Berdly waved a wing. “We have something to confess, fellow friends.”
“Oh, yeah?” Noelle leaned over the table, drawing out each word. She hoped she didn't look mildly insane. “Pray tell, what is it?”
Berdly stood up from his chair slowly, dramatically. Kris stared at him with heart-eyes. Noelle tried not to be horrified at that. She failed.
He spread his wings wide, Kris bending their head further down to avoid the feathers tickling the back of their neck.
“Our relationship…” Berdly projected his voice loud enough for the table to hear, but not so loud that he was embarrassing himself. “was a ruse. Fake dating, if you will.”
Susie gasped, her jaw lingering open for a while in shock - probably at the fact that Berdly had admitted it. Noelle just feigned surprise. She didn't particularly care if it was convincing or not, but she did notice Kris eyeing her playfully.
“Oh wow I can't believe it.” she recited, deadpan. Berdly faltered ever so slightly, but he attempted to puff up his feathers further to hide it.
“Hah!” Susie cackled, slamming her open paw on the table. “Gotcha, bitches! I've always-”
“Until a week ago.” Berdly added smugly. “Because we came to the conclusion we held deeper feelings for each other and began actually dating.”
He sat back down primly. The saurian promptly snapped her mouth shut, staring him down. Fruitlessly, Noelle attempted to stop a smile from growing across her face like a weed on the sidewalk, SOUL racing with exhilaration.
Silence.
Stunned, debilitating silence.
And then Noelle made a low, strangled sort of noise she didn't know she could make. And she had to fight every bone in her body to not start laughing maniacally.
She was right. She was right! She was right all along! Ever since that sleepover, only two days after Kris and Berdly's admission of dating, she had been on the right track! Angel, this felt so much better than that one time she predicted the DBIV side plot purely by overanalyzing the five pieces of dialogue DBIII had provided about it. And that had been a crazy feat itself!
“I knew it!” she damn near screeched, digging her hooves into the tablecloth as she fought the urge to reach over the table, grab Berdly by his shoulders, and shake him around like a flimsy ragdoll. “I knew that was what you were hiding! You can't fool me!”
“Y-yeah, uh, me too.” Susie blurted out, nodding quickly. “For sure.”
Noelle sent Kris and Berdly a look that she hoped conveyed that Susie did not, in fact, know that. Kris gave the saurian a fond yet exasperated look. Berdly, bless his SOUL, was still not good enough at reading people's facial expressions to be able to understand.
“Hmph.” the bluebird genuinely looked a little dejected that their dumb little fake date wasn't as effective with her as he'd expected. She wouldn't lie, it was a little endearing. “I suppose the ruse would have worked better with different people. You know us too well, dear Noelle.”
“Wait, hold on-” the reindeer shook her head, suddenly remembering a crucial detail. “A week ago?! Were you actually bluffing about the…?!”
“Er, no.” Berdly tilted his head slightly, confused. “I'm not very good at bluffing, Noelle. I thought you knew that?”
Noelle's jaw dropped.
“WHAT?!?!?!” she screeched.
Immediately, she got a mouthful of feathers as Berdly stretched across the table and muffled her, looking around wildly with a flushed face.
“Not so loud!” he hissed through his clenched beak.
“They were giving you hickeys when you weren't in an actual relationship??????” Noelle whisper-shouted, jaw aching from how hard she was trying not to yell out into the restaurant.
Kris snorted, shoulders shaking with their muffled laughter.
‘We're stupid.’ they signed simply, turning to look at Berdly with the warmest expression Noelle had seen on them.
“Speak for yourself, m'theydy.” Berdly snickered. “I am a genius amongst plebeians.”
‘Being smart doesn't stop you from being a dumbass.’ Kris retorted, smiling.
“You guys are freaks.” Susie said simply, clearly still trying to process what was happening. “Freaks.”
‘Freaks in love~’ Kris signed loosely, smiling like an absolute lovestruck fool.
Berdly whacked them on the head with a wing in a playful manner, smiling softly.
“Sap.” he murmured under his breath. He had likely only intended for that to be heard by Kris, but he'd always been a bad whisperer.
‘Birdbrain.’ Kris retaliated.
Berdly's eyes narrowed as his smile widened. Angel, he looked so enamored. Noelle would have found it cute, if it wasn't in the process of giving her diabetes secondhand.
(Susie remained silent, staring at her half-finished plate. Noelle thought she looked fine, besides the unusual lack of eating, so there was nothing to worry about.)
“Dolt.”
‘Loser.’
“Bonehead.”
‘Cornball.’
“Dullard.”
‘Cutie.’
Berdly flushed at the change in “insults” (and at Kris's flirty expression), but quickly recovered, smirking gleefully.
“Sugar.”
‘Honeypie.’
“Sweetheart.”
‘Pretty bird.’
“Oh my god.” Susie whispered dismally next to Noelle, eyes wide and horrified. The reindeer gave her an unenthusiastic pat on the back. “This is a nightmare. This is an actual nightmare and I'm never gonna wake up from it.”
“Welcome to my world.” Noelle replied with a sigh. “Your turn to deal with it now.”
“They're gonna be terrible.” her girlfriend continued in the same hushed tone, voice tinted with fear. “They're gonna be worse than us.”
“I know, love.” she consoled her in a solemn tone of acceptance, petting her mane gently as if to soothe her. “I know.”
“They'll be so annoying, bells.” the saurian muffled into her paws after she buried her snout in them. “How is anyone s’posed to, like, live with this?”
“Yeah.”
“And we're their respective best friends!” she hissed, sounding closer to an emotional breakdown every time. “Hell, I'm in a QPR with the least annoying of those idiots! We're gonna deal with it front and center!”
“Yeah.” Noelle repeated, now combing through her mane with her claws. She was lucky enough to have already gone through the five stages of grief, with her having figured out the “deeper feelings” stuff early and all. It was only a matter of time before her girlfriend's turn.
“I want out.” Susie finished with the drained tone of an office worker after a long nine to five. “This is the worst timeline. I'mma ask Ralsei how to kickstart the Roaring next time I see her.”
She went silent again, staring down emptily as she slowly assimilated all the information she'd been given. Noelle watched the two lovebirds drone on in the background with their ridiculous flirting and sighed at the display, shaking her head in exasperation, using soft touches and half-cuddles as an attempt to prevent Susie from spiraling further in the same way the reindeer herself had all those weeks ago.
Eh. All was well that ended well, she supposed.