Chapter Text
The first time Gustave confesses his love to him, Verso knows that there can't be any truth to it.
It's been almost two months since he saved Gustave's life at the Stone Wave Cliffs and afterwards there were many nights in which they stayed up together at camp, both unable to sleep, haunted by nightmares. At first, Verso was uncomfortable with letting anyone see him while he struggled with some of the painful memories of his past, but Gustave never pressured him to talk about anything. His presence became a steady comfort in those nights instead.
They are back at their camp now and it's another one of those nights Verso doesn't even attempt to go to sleep. They defeated the first Axon today and coming face to face with it left him shaken. He who guards truth with lies, echoes inside his mind and leaves him with the bitter feeling of guilt and regret. The decisions he'll be forced to make if they truly manage to reach the paintress weigh on him heavily.
He's lost in his dark thoughts when he hears someone approach him. Instead of tensing up at the presence behind his back, Verso feels himself relax a bit as he recognizes those slow footsteps. A few seconds later Gustave settles down next to him, letting his legs dangle over the cliff side. Their shoulders brush and Verso can feel the warmth radiating from Gustave, making him lean into the contact instinctively.
Gustave offers him a sweet smile, the one Verso has become so fond of lately. "Can't sleep?"
"Didn't even try," Verso answers truthfully. Being able to let his guard down with Gustave makes the painful knot in his stomach lessen a bit. "What about you?"
"I tried… but I was worried about you. Wanted to check on you, see if you're okay."
The words leave Verso stunned for a moment. It never fails to surprise him how openly Gustave shows his care, always there with gentle words and a comforting touch. It's a bit overwhelming and he averts his eyes, looking at the open sky in front of them instead.
"I'm okay." A lie, this time. One he's sure Gustave isn't buying anyway. "You should really try to get some sleep. The fight was… intense. For all of us."
Gustave hums in agreement and lets his body sink more against Verso's, like he wants to melt into him. Maybe Verso should offer to let him rest his head in his lap. He could run his fingers through Gustave's soft looking hair and soothe him to sleep.
"I think I want to stay right here," Gustave says, interrupting that wild train of thought. "With you."
There's such a profound tenderness in his voice and Verso tries to tell himself that he's imagining it. Gustave is probably just incredibly tired and that's why he sounds like that, all soft and affectionate and warm.
"I love being with you like this," Gustave continues in a whisper, while he drops his head against Verso's shoulder. "Just the two us. It feels like… like I can finally breathe after-"
He breaks off there, but Verso knows exactly which memories haunt Gustave in his sleep. He remembers when they camped at the Forgotten Battlefield and he came across Gustave in the middle of a panic attack, caused by the endless amount of bodies they've seen that day. He was forced to watch how Gustave struggled to breathe for a terrifyingly long time, while Verso tried to talk to him and remind him that he's not on that beach anymore, watching how everyone got slaughtered around him.
Verso swallows against the whirlwind of emotions raging inside him and tentatively lifts his arm to wrap it around Gustave's body, pulling him even closer. Gustave doesn't protest, just nuzzles into his neck for a while with a content little sigh, which makes Verso hold his own breath at the unaccustomed closeness. He hasn't held anyone like that since… Well, he doesn't want to let his mind wander down that road tonight.
They sit in silence for a minute, before Gustave's right hand comes up to settle across Verso's chest, fingers twitching nervously before resting over his heart. They are embracing each other now and Verso closes his eyes, letting himself enjoy this unexpected moment of tenderness.
Then, there's another whisper, spoken against his skin.
"I love you."
Verso's eyes fly open again and he tenses up horribly. His mind instantly rebels at hearing that sweet confession. It can't be true. There has to be a reasonable explanation for Gustave's words. Lingering gratitude, perhaps. Mistaken for a deeper feeling of affection amidst their almost daily brushes with death. Or maybe it's because of the way Verso let him get so close tonight, a sentimental response to the physical affection they share.
No matter what it is, Verso can't let it linger in the air between them as truth. He drops his arm and pulls away, his movements slow because he doesn't want to let Gustave faceplant onto the ground if he lets go too suddenly. Gustave makes a confused sound of protest that tugs at something vulnerable inside him. He refuses to believe that it's his heart.
"What-? Verso…" Gustave jerks upright then, as if he only now realizes what he just said. There's a blush spreading across his face that's far too endearing. "I- I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. I just…"
"It's okay, you don't have to explain. It doesn't mean anything," Verso cuts in, trying to make it easier for him.
Gustave doesn't look happy though to be left off the hook. There's a frown creasing his eyebrows and he shakes his head as if Verso is the one talking nonsense. "It does," he protests and his voice has a stubborn ring to it now. "I do mean it, Verso."
He sounds so utterly earnest, but Verso can't believe him. They probably need some distance from each other, so that Gustave can learn to understand that he simply mistook his gratitude and their friendly level of intimacy as something more than it is. And Verso can use that distance to remind himself that he has a mission to complete, no matter what cost. Resolutely, he stands up and ignores the way he instantly misses the warmth they just shared.
"Try to get some sleep. I'll do the same," he says and leaves before Gustave's sad eyes can sway his resolve.
It's better for both of them if they forget this moment entirely.