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Cursing internally, Kakashi struggled to move in the impossibly tight bindings. If he could twitch a finger, open his mouth, or even blink that would be something. Unfortunately Joroko’s webbing seemed to contain a paralysis jutsu; Kakashi couldn’t do anything but watch her laugh as she kicked Guy in the face yet again.
Guy was looking bad. Beyond beaten and bruised, it was clear that he’d opened the gates at some point during his failed rescue attempt. He was showing all of the usual signs of pain and exhaustion that tended to overwhelm him after using the fifth or sixth gate. That was the problem with a self sacrificing technique. That was what Kakashi couldn’t stand about the taijutsu master’s style. Guy was effectively unstoppable until he stopped. Once that happened, though, it was over. Guy had sacrificed himself.
Adding insult to injury, he’d sacrificed himself to fight a lone shinobi with a pointless revenge fantasy. Joroko was a powerful woman with impressive techniques, but the grudge she had against Tsunade smacked of the personal. When she ranted, which she did at length, it was always about Tsunade’s beautiful blonde hair and greedy women being undeserving of male attention. That Leaf Village could be threatened by such a person was galling. That Guy would need to sacrifice himself fighting such a person was appalling.
Well, Kakashi couldn’t say that it had been for nothing. The monster army Joroko was massing to set on the village was looking pretty thin. She had to be rethinking her strategy at this point, if one jounin could do so much damage to her soldiers. Still, it wasn’t worth the cost. Not if it cost Guy his life.
As if on cue, Joroko laughed again, closing all six of her pitch black eyes as she threw her head back, two of her clawed hands resting on her hips while the other two made fists as if to punch the air in victory. It displayed her figure well. The woman bent on destroying Leaf Village favored revealing clothing and black corsets that couldn’t possibly allow freedom of movement. Kakashi could appreciate that, both for the view and for the advantage it would give him when they fought. Unfortunately, it didn’t seem like he’d have a chance to capitalize on her imprudence. Not in time. Kakashi was never in time.
“You’re strong,” she said, with a cruel smile that showed off her inhuman fangs. “I appreciate that in a man. So I’ll give you one chance.”
Guy spat blood onto the floor in response and looked up at her silently. Kakashi could imagine how much strength of will it took for his friend to stay that much in control. After opening five gates, he would usually be sprawled on the floor in pain, beating or no beating.
“I have a message that I would like one of you to deliver to the Hokage. My demands, in exchange for not slaughtering every last man, woman, and child in the Fire Country, feeding all of you to my spider army, and building a castle out of the bones. Now, I have Kakashi Hatake, the infamous Copy Ninja, caught in my web. Normally I would never dream of letting him go, but he was a fairly easy catch, crawling around like a lazy caterpillar getting fat on a leaf. You on the other hand, Blue Beast, killed thousands of my babies. I would very much like to hurt you for that.”
She kicked him again, hard in the stomach. More blood came from his mouth, but Guy was ever defiant. His chin thrust back up into the air again almost immediately, staring her down. The fact that he didn’t try to grab her or lecture her about the impracticality of high heels for a fighter was yet another unnecessary proof that he was already badly injured.
“He’s your best friend, right? That’s why you came alone to rescue him, without waiting for her to give you orders or backup?”
Finally Guy spoke. The words were slow, choked, and barely audible. “My Eternal Rival.” His eyes slid away from his tormenter, over to Kakashi. The apology in them was too much. Kakashi couldn’t blink or look away, and despite his best efforts, he felt a tear slip from the corner of his own eye. Blaming it on the dry air of the cave would be pointless inside of his own head, when the truth was obvious. He couldn’t stand watching this happen yet again.
“That sounds nice. Really permanent.” Kakashi was going to kill her. He might not even bother to go back to the village for reinforcements. He had a read on her techniques, and she wouldn’t catch him by surprise again. She wouldn’t live to see the sunset, but that didn’t matter. That wouldn’t repair the damage she was about to do. That wouldn’t free him from the living hell of his nightmares.
“So here’s what we’re going to do.” Her grin was clearly meant to be enticing. All Kakashi could think about was knocking those pointy teeth out of her skull. “I’ll torture one of you to death, and I’ll make the other watch. Then the survivor can skip off home and tell the Hokage how powerless he was to stand against me. What do you think?”
“I think you are a wicked woman whose ambitions will be thwarted by the just and righteous shinobi of the Hidden Leaf.” Guy was clearly summoning the last of his strength. He would probably manage to stand, at the end. Maybe he would even take a swing at her. That was how he would want to go down, honor intact, on his feet, fighting. Kakashi wouldn’t look away, even if he could have. Guy would want someone to witness his bravery. As always, Kakashi’s own preferences would not be a factor.
“We’ll see. For now, why don’t you make your choice?”
“My choice?”
“Which of you should I kill? Don’t answer right away! Take your time. Really think about this. You could survive. You could run away with your tail between your legs and live like a coward, or you could die nobly to save your friend. What will it be, righteous shinobi of the Leaf?”
Surprisingly, Guy did take his time. He looked over at Kakashi, who was powerless to stem the tears that threatened to overflow his burning, paralyzed eyes. Self sacrifice came more naturally to Guy, but Kakashi would have given anything, anything at all, to be the one who got to make the choice.
“Cowardice,” Guy said, in a soft, gravelly voice.
“What?” Joroko’s usually melodious voice was sharp with surprise, but Kakashi only had eyes for Guy. Guy, still half propped up on his hands and knees, bleeding, was the most beautiful thing Kakashi had ever seen.
“I choose cowardice. I will be the one to watch Kakashi die. Then I will go home and live a long life, dying in my sleep of old age.” That last part was a lie, of course, but Kakashi appreciated it. Kakashi more than appreciated it. A tide of gratitude washed through him, threatening to drown him well before the spider woman could make good on her threats. Guy’s eyes were deep and black, his voice steady and firm. He was really going to do this for Kakashi. The long, unlucky thread of Kakashi’s life was finally going to be knotted so that it could unravel no further.
“Leaf Hurricane!”
The shout came out of nowhere, and suddenly Lee was there, kicking Joroko high into the air with his signature attack.
“Wait!” Shikamaru cried, from elsewhere in the cavern. “Dammit, Lee! Choji isn’t in position!”
“No choice now but to go for it! Rasengan!” Naruto fell from one of the stalactites, the powerful typhoon of chakra in his palm going straight through two of the woman’s arachnid-like arms.
Around the room other shinobi fell into battle with the monstrous creatures. Kakashi noted that they were all Naruto’s friends and former classmates, but he didn’t have time to wonder what Tsunade had been thinking sending children after a woman who could capture Kakashi. His focus was on Guy, who had finally succumbed to the pain in his body, collapsing on the cave floor while Sakura hovered over him with glowing palms. Kakashi barely noticed Hinata cutting him free from the paralyzing web.
Even with her gentle fist technique, it took the young Hyuga quite a while to free him. By then, the threat had been neutralized, Guy was on his feet, and Lee was crying over his injuries, waterfall like tears streaming from his face. Sauntering over to them with his hands in his pockets, Kakashi asked as casually as possible if Guy had been playing for time. Kakashi needed to know if he’d sensed Lee and the others getting into position. Guy looked away and said he hadn’t realized that they would be rescued. He wouldn’t lie.
“Right,” Kakashi said not bothering to hide the warmth or the gratitude in his voice. They were hardly alone, though, so he settled for putting a hand on Guy’s shoulder and giving it a friendly squeeze. Any more than that and he might not be able to stop.
Neji was apparently the nominal leader of the rescue mission. Well, he was a jounin and Kakashi respected him well enough. He had his panties in a twist about something, but Kakashi would leave sorting that out to the boy’s friends. Falling into formation like a good victim, Kakashi did what he could to give Naruto and Sakura the slip. Maybe whatever they wanted to talk to him about mattered, but they both seemed awkward and needy when they approached. It was clearly personal, so it could wait. He had much more important business to discuss.
“So how much would seven thousand white orchids set me back, approximately?”
Ino looked at him in surprise. She seemed as subdued as everyone else, which was surprising given that the group had suffered no casualties. Guy was the only one who had been injured at all, but the teenagers weren’t laughing and chattering as they emerged from the dark caves into the bright sunlight of the forest. He’d worry about it later. Some things had to take precedence, even over a depressing group dynamic.
“Seven thousand orchids?”
“I know it would be expensive, I’m just trying to get a general estimate.”
“It couldn’t be done. Orchids that last for more than a few minutes are impossible to cultivate with jutsu. They’re too delicate. You could buy out every flower shop in the five great nations and you’d probably only come up with a thousand or so.”
“I wouldn’t need them right away. It would be an advance order, you’d have over a month to fill it. I’m thinking of August 18th. There will be a full moon, and the weather should be nice enough to spend the day outdoors.”
“It still couldn’t be done with orchids. Maybe if I had a year, but even then it would be incredibly expensive. My family would have to dedicate ourselves to cultivating orchids. For a year.”
“Well I’m not doing red roses. That’s just tacky.”
“That’s a shame, because I could get you seven thousand roses for August 18th. They can be cultivated with chakra.”
Kakashi took a moment to think it through. He didn’t want to be impractical. “Could you do yellow roses? For friendship?”
“That’s doable. It would still be expensive. Probably over three hundred thousand ryo.”
He shrugged. There were a few times in a man’s life when it was acceptable to splurge. “I’ll want seven thousand, one hundred and twenty-three yellow roses, one for every day of our friendship up to the 18th. The arrangements will need to be filled out with forget-me-nots, too. Not as many, but it will still be a lot of flowers. We can finalize the price and make sure you get the correct numbers down at your shop.”
Ino’s eyes were sparkling. Well, she was a young woman as well as a professional shinobi. “Friendship and true love? Are you proposing to someone, Kakashi-sensei?”
“Who would waste that much on a proposal? That’s for the wedding.”
“A wedding?” Sakura asked, elbowing Ino out of the way to stand at his side.
“You didn’t tell us you were getting married, Kakashi-sensei!” Naruto shouted, appearing at his right hand. Kakashi looked down into those shining blue eyes for a long minute before sighing. He dropped back a few paces, letting Kiba and Shino pass forward. Sakura, Ino, and Naruto all stuck with him doggedly.
“Yo, Guy!”
Clearly still injured and dragging his feet with nothing like his usual vigor, Guy looked up and forced a smile for Kakashi. He needed to get back to the village hospital as soon as possible. Kakashi didn’t want to bother him, but since he had the man’s attention he might as well go ahead. Maybe a distraction would make him feel better.
“You going to stand up with Lee, or did you want all of your brats up there with you?”
“Lee?” Guy’s voice was low and mournful. Involuntarily, his eyes slid back, as if drawn by a magnet, to where Lee and Tenten were walking soberly several paces behind their teacher. Kakashi could see a black cloud surrounding the pair. Probably a better man would have asked why they were all so depressed. Guy’s injuries certainly didn’t justify it, so Kakashi ignored their mood and forged ahead. His own spirits were too high to give way to negativity, and Guy needed to start thinking about these things. They only had a month to plan.
Not that the eighteenth was a firm date. If Guy wanted a different day for some reason they could discuss it. Though expecting Kakashi to wait more than a month to be married would be asking a lot. Kakashi would wait for him to argue, before acknowledging that the day wasn’t yet set in stone. In the meantime, they could settle smaller matters.
“Tenzo has to be my best man,” Kakashi said practically. “He’ll mope for the rest of his life if I don’t ask him. But if you wanted your whole team to stand up with you, I suppose I’d spring for wedding clothes for these two.” Kakashi nodded at Naruto and Sakura, who were looking surprised for some reason.
“Wedding clothes?” Guy asked slowly.
“Well we can hardly let Naruto dress himself. Besides, we could have Sakura and Tenten match in complimenting color schemes or something. Though I really think it will have to be forget-me-not blue or green. If the flowers are going to be yellow, we don’t have a lot of options given Sakura’s delicate complexion.”
“Hey!”
“You’re a beautiful young woman, and you know how to dress yourself, but you aren’t wearing red. If nothing else, that’s too many primary colors. Yellow, blue, and green. That’s the color palette, and you’d look terrible in yellow.”
“Kakashi-sensei!”
“So would Naruto and Neji, so don’t worry about it. Lee and Tenten could pull it off, but I’m not sure I’d want them to, even if it was an option. That’s too much yellow. Weddings should be bright, but not that bright.”
“Rival,” Guy said, still sounding cautious for some reason, “Are you planning to marry me?”
Kakashi blinked at him in confusion. Then he laughed. It was a fair enough request. After all, Kakashi probably owed Guy a romantic gesture or two for the one Guy had given him. Hell, he probably owed Guy a romantic gesture every day for the rest of their lives. Making sixteen quick hand signs, Kakashi pressed his right palm into the earth and pulled up a diamond.
The diamond was too big for a ring. Actually, it was the first part of a technique to create an armor-piercing lance, so the stone was about the size of a shuriken. However, for Guy wearing a ring would be the same thing as planning to break a finger. Kakashi could have a jeweler set the stone into a necklace. Maybe he could have an armorer set it in a nice, well balanced titanium cuff. Something that would be useful in the field as well as symbolic. Anyway, a diamond was a diamond.
Tossing it to Guy, Kakashi asked, “So what do you think? Green with blue accents for your party and blue with green accents for mine? Everyone should look good in that.”
Guy didn’t answer. Staring at the diamond in his hand, Guy didn’t even move.
Laughing again, a little awkwardly this time, Kakashi figured that a rock probably wasn’t quite romantic enough to suit Guy’s preferences.
“Really?” he complained, “In front of the children?” Still, if Guy wanted a romantic gesture that much, Kakashi’s pride could take the hit.
Dropping to one knee, Kakashi took those strong hands in his own, closing them around the diamond. Then, as the teenagers gathered around to stare at them, he tried to find the right words.
“Guy, in all of my life the only constant has been sacrifice. My mother gave her life for the village. My father gave his life for honor. Friends and comrades have given their lives for me. Of the countless deaths that I have born witness to with my own eyes, twenty-seven have been very close friends or lovers.” Kakashi paused for a moment. “Twenty-nine. Sachio would have wanted me to count her as a lover, and even though I only had to listen to Ichiro being tortured. Well. There was the body afterward. And. Anyhow. I think Ichiro counts.” Realizing that he was getting off track, Kakashi tried to focus on being romantic.
“Of all those friends and lovers, not one of them spared a thought for my feelings. I have always criticized you for using the eight gates, and you have always known that it comes from a place of fear. Whatever the first seven may do to your body, those who open the eighth gate never survive. One day you will die in battle. It may be that I have to witness it. I always say that I’ve lost everyone I have ever loved, but the truth is, I can never admit that I loved someone until after they’ve gone. Somehow, I hope that will make it hurt less. It never does. I would rather die than go through that pain even one more time.” Kakashi took a deep breath, looking up into Guy’s expressionless face.
“Guy, what you were willing to do for me today is a feat that I could never match. You should know that. I’m not the man you are. You were willing to sacrifice your pride, your self image, and take the pain of surviving with the guilt of having made that choice. I wouldn’t be. I could never be that selfless. But I do believe that in the little, everyday choices like doing the dishes when I’d rather go to sleep, listening to you tell the same story for the hundredth time, and sparring when you ask without complaining, I could try to be the husband you deserve.”
Guy still wasn’t smiling, or crying, or reacting at all. Kakashi didn’t know what else to say, so he cleared his throat a little. “Anyway, you have a good body and you make me laugh. Wanna get hitched?”
“Kakashi!” Finally grinning, Guy pulled Kakashi up into his arms without any apparent thought for his injuries. Spinning in place so fast that Kakashi’s feet left the ground, Guy squeezed all of the breath from his body in a tight hug. When he finally put him down, all Kakashi could do was dizzily stare into those deep black eyes. “Yes. Yes, I will marry you.”
Bumping his shoulder companionably against Guy’s as he turned to hide his blush, Kakashi almost walked into Neji, who was still staring at them with soft eyes. That was by far the most reasonable reaction he noted, as he looked around the group. All of the girls were wiping subtle tears from their eyes. Lee and Naruto were clutching at each other as twin waterfalls streamed down their faces, sobbing about the beauty of true love. Shino and Kiba were kissing. Actually, Shino was pushing Kiba into a tree and it looked like they were about to start doing a little bit more than kissing.
“Were you going to take care of that, Team Leader?” Kakashi asked, gesturing. There was a time and a place, after all.
Neji blinked, then nodded and went to separate the pair. Kakashi sidled past Sakura and the other girls, nodding thanks for their congratulations. All of his emotional speech making had been used up during the proposal. Naturally Guy still had plenty to spare, but he was trading hyperbolic hopes for the future with Lee and would forgive Kakashi for slipping into the lead. Their teenage rescuers allowed it as well, though Shikamaru slid in silently next to him.
Kakashi didn’t mind Shikamaru taking point with him. Apparently Neji was going to walk quietly with Tenten and pretend he was above the happy gossip happening among the rest of the group, while still positioned to hear every word. At least Shikamaru was probably making a tactical decision to help Kakashi watch for traps, and not angling for tidbits about the wedding plans.
Two bluebirds landed on a branch just over the path. The male gave a funny little hop before nuzzling the female, grooming her feathers with his beak. Kakashi smiled. Gentle wind sang through the treetops, making the pattern of sunlight and shadow dance across the forest floor. Leaves rustled with the natural sounds of animals and wind, not enemies. It was a beautiful day.
“You arrived in time to hear, but you didn’t understand what was happening,” Kakashi said, surprising himself by breaking the silence.
Shikamaru’s eyes slid right to look at him, then focused on the path ahead once more. “Yeah.”
“That’s why Neji, Lee, and Tenten were acting heartbroken, while everyone else looked like we were leaving a funeral, not a victory.”
“Well, he’s someone we always looked up to. I can’t speak for the others, but when he stopped Lee’s fight with Gaara during our chunin exams, I thought it looked like he cared more about people than winning, you know?”
“He does.”
“Yeah. Like I said, I can’t speak for the others, but I was really surprised that he would choose his life over yours. I thought he was the kind of person who would die for a comrade.”
“He is. He’s almost died for me personally eight times. No, nine. That time in Waterfall was definitely for me, not the mission. He would absolutely give his life for any one of you, so don’t worry about him. Hell, if I asked him to right now, he’d probably--that doesn’t matter. I hate thinking about that.”
“It’s easier, isn’t it?” Shikamaru looked up, finding a cloud between a gap in the trees. “I’ve been thinking about it since it happened. What would I do if I was given a choice like that, if I had to pick between my life and Choji, or I guess for a better metaphor, Tem- some girl. It doesn’t even feel like a choice. Maybe in the moment I’d be afraid to die, but I’ve faced death before. I’d choose my own death. Every time. I thought that made me brave, but really it’s just easier.”
“Yeah.”
“He wouldn’t have lied about it when he got back to the village, either. He didn’t even try to explain it to Lee, after everything worked out well.”
“I could never do it,” Kakashi admitted, looking back at Guy talking animatedly with his students. “I guess I’m glad he insisted I propose like that. So you all understand.”
“Did he?” Shikamaru’s sly smile pushed the boundaries of insubordination. “To me it looked like he was just as confused as anyone that the two of you were apparently getting married.”
He was probably right. If he’d been wrong, Kakashi might have forgiven the remark. As it was, a cutting riposte was in order.
“I think planning our wedding was an appropriate response to the situation. After all, I needed him to fuck me through the wall of that cave, and maybe hard enough to destroy most of this pretty landscape.”
Choking on his surprise, Shikamaru started coughing uncontrollably, stopping to bend over and struggle to catch his breath. Kakashi patted his back companionably.
“Don’t worry. There’s a time and a place. I would never want to disturb our adorable students.”