Chapter Text
Billy stood there.
He stood there; he didn’t follow, didn’t chase, just settled with what he said.
His hand was hovering uselessly in the air where Griffin’s had been, and then… he was walking, no, drifting, away from the cafeteria like his body had decided to abandon him before his brain could catch up.
He ignored the others.
The door swung shut behind him, the noise dulling to a distant, warped echo. It felt wrong that everything seemed to move on. That people were still laughing. That trays were clattering. That nothing had stopped when Griffin walked out like that.
Billy leaned against the nearest wall. He stood there, the argument echoing through his head. He took a deep breath, in and out. He stared down the hallway like Griffin might show up again if he waited. Like Griffin might come back and tell him he didn’t mean it, that he was just overwhelmed. That Billy had misunderstood.
But the hallway stayed empty, quiet.
“Shit,” Billy muttered under his breath, dragging a hand through his damp hair. His fingers shook, not badly, but enough that he noticed.
Behind shut doors, someone laughed too loud. The sound scraped against his nerves. He turned and started walking again, faster this time, through the hallway, past lockers and faces and voices that blurred and became distorted.
Coward.
The world was ringing in his head, becoming louder as he picked up his pace. He hadn’t even meant to say it at all. It had just… slipped. One second, he was frustrated, confused, feeling shut out and ignored, and the next, the word was already in the air between them, floating, sharp, and irreversible.
Billy swallowed hard.
He replayed it, over and over again, every second of it. Griffin’s puffy eyes when he said it. The way his shoulders had gone stiff. The way he’d looked smaller somehow, like the word had physically weighed him down.
God, Billy thought. I fucked up bad.
He kept walking, hoping maybe he’ll see him, just a glimpse of his blond curls. Every bathroom he walked past, he entered. Every person he saw, he examined. Brows become knitted with frustration. The art wing, he wasn’t there. He could try one more place, but he had low hopes.
He pushed through the doors that led outside and sucked in a breath of damp air. It hit his lungs too fast, too sharp, but he endured it. Anything was better than the stale heat of the cafeteria, better than the way his friends looked at him after what he said.
He leaned against the brick wall, dropping his head back, his hair gluing to it in every crevice. The sky was overcast, dull gray and heavy, like it hadn’t finished with the storm yet. Everything smelled wet and metallic.
His phone buzzed in his pocket.
Hope flared stupidly in his chest before he even pulled it out.
Nothing.
Just Vance in the group chat, complaining about algebra 2, how his new teacher might just be worse than his last. Billy stared at it, wind blowing in his hair, then locked it again, jaw tightening.
Okay, he told himself. Give him a minute.
He knew Griffin; he knew that calling him a coward would cause a break in their relationship… he was just frustrated. Griffin wasn’t gonna talk to him, he knew that, he knew Griffin’s gonna create space between them, a pause… but in reality, Billy caused it. Griffin wasn’t like him; he wasn’t gonna bounce back, wasn’t gonna accept an apology right after an argument, right after being insulted by someone he was starting to feel comfortable with. Griffin shuts down. Retreats.
Billy could respect that.
He checked his phone again.
Still nothing.
He shoved his phone back into his pocket harder than necessary and pushed off the wall, but he glanced out into the courtyard, the last place Griffin could be… he headed that way.
His pace was slow, walking through puddles and mud; he didn’t care, he only admired the scenery, the environment. Griffin was attached to it… Maybe if Billy had a better understanding of it, he would have a better understanding of Griffin.
He stared out. The courtyard was submerged in water, benches drowned in the water, a plastic rocketship in the mud, stuck in place. Waterdrops fell off the tree and hit his hair. He stood there for a second until the bell rang, disturbing his peace.
He turned back and headed toward the parking lot. He was tired, upset, angry… He had practice after school, but right now. He’s not going back inside.
His steps were shallow, his thoughts circling back to the same things. When he put his number in Griffin's bag. The night of the storm. Griffin asleep beside him, head resting softly on his shoulder. The way he’d leaned in, just a little, like he didn’t realize he was doing it.
Billy clenched his jaw.
He hadn’t imagined that. He knew he hadn’t. And that was what hurt the most, that Griffin could act like that night meant nothing, like Billy had just… made it all up in his head.
But calling him a coward…
That was the worst thing he could have done. All the progress, gone.
Billy groaned quietly, dropping onto the hood of his car. The metal was cold through his jeans. He leaned forward, elbows on his knees, and dragged his hands across his face.
“Idiot,” he muttered.
He pulled his phone out again before he could stop himself.
Griff
iMessage
Sep 29, 2018 12:01 pm
Billy Showalter: hey
Billy Showalter: im sorry. That came out wrong
Billy Showalter: can we talk after school? after im done practice?
The message sat there, delivered but unread.
Billy stared at the screen, his chest tightening. He typed, erased, typed again.
Billy Showalter: I didn’t mean to push. I just didn’t know what was going on.
His thumb hovered over the thumb button for a second, then sent it.
Still nothing.
His hands traveled to his face, then to his hair; he pulled softly at it, each breath tightening as he exhaled.
The rational part of his brain told him to stop. To wait. To give Griffin time. But the rest of him, the part that hated loose ends, hated being shut out… kept buzzing, restless and anxious.
He unlocked his car and sat in it, turning on the heat. He lay his head down on the steering wheel, hands gripping it, knuckles turning white. After a second, he lifted his head, eyes drifting over to the Bike rack… no sign of Griffin’s bike. He left.
He sighed.
He felt lost; he hadn’t even known Griffin for that long, yet he had already become attached to his presence, to him.
By the time practice rolled around, Billy was already tensed.
He played like shit.
Coach noticed immediately.
“Showalter,” He yelled across the field. “You awake out there?”
Billy jogged past him, nodding. “Yeah… Sorry.”
He wasn’t sorry. He was distracted.
Every time the ball came towards him or someone shouted his name, his thoughts shot right back to Griffin. The way his face morphed into pain, standing up abruptly, chair scraping, hands shaking as he tried to gather himself, tried to hold himself together in front of strangers.
The ball passed him, he ran after it, but slipped, fucked up again. His breaths became more shallow, a mix of exhaustion and something… deeper.
Coward.
Billy flinched as the word replayed again.
Griffin’s face. His hands. His stance.
After practice, Bruce clapped him on the shoulder as they headed toward the lockers. “You good? You’ve been off after… yah know?”
“I’m fine,” Billy said automatically, voice hollow.
Bruce snorted. “Yeah, okay. You missed two easy passes.”
Billy shot him a look. “So?”
“‘So that never happens,” Bruce said. “Are you really alright?”
Billy hesitated. He didn’t want to tell him; he didn’t want to remember what happened. Bruce was there to witness it. Why does he need to hear it from him again? He didn’t want to explain how he saw Griffin, how he saw more than what he shows. He didn’t want to hear Bruce’s dumb, oversimplified advice, which he’d probably give.
“I’m fine,” he said instead, sharper than he meant to.
Bruce put his hands up in surrender. “Alright. Just asking… We’ve been friends for ages now, you can tell me anything.”
Billy knew Bruce wouldn’t judge him. But that feeling was still there; he needed to figure this out on his own.
“Yeah… I’ll text you later,’ he said, grabbing his sports bag and heading out the core doors before Bruce had the chance to start up again.
His phone made it back into his hand, scrolling down notifications, knowing Griffin wouldn’t have responded. His steps became heavier as he traveled back to his car.
Nothing.
How long will it take for him to come back?
On the drive home, he left the radio off. The silence pressed in on him, thick and uncomfortable. His thoughts spiraled, jumping from irritation to worry and back again.
What if Griffin was mad enough to just… cut him off? What if that was it?
Billy scoffed softly to himself. No. Griffin wasn’t like that… Griffin folds in on himself; he doesn’t lash out or reach out. But how would Billy know? He barely knew him…
Which somehow made Billy feel worse.
By the time he arrived home, the parking lot was empty. He’s alone again. The plants from the storm had knocked back over. The air felt tight, he clenched his keys, and made his way inside. He tossed the keys onto the counter and dropped his bag near the kitchen island.
Bow ran down the stairs, trotting around him, sniffing him, wagging his tail, and being happy. He knelt and petted him, letting out a deep breath into the air, Bow licking his face.
He stood up and made his way up to his room, Bow running up the stairs ahead of him. His room was the same. He walked up to his drawer and picked up the pictures… Griffin looked at peace in them; he looked like he was willing to open up.
I ruined everything.
He started pacing; he needed a distraction. This isn’t helping.
He checked his phone.
Paced again.
Finally, he sat on the couch, staring up at the ceiling between the crack of his fingers. The photos kept reappearing in his mind, the way Griffin looked asleep, peaceful in a way Billy hadn’t seen before.
He swallowed.
He hadn’t taken them to be creepy… sure, it was, but it wasn’t his true intentions. He just wanted… proof, maybe. Proof that Griffin trusted him. That the night had been real.
Now it felt like a mistake. Like the photos were the sole reason Griffin pushed him away…
What was the reason?
His phone buzzed.
His body stiffened.
It wasn’t Griff, it was Gwen.
Gwennnnnnnn
iMessage
Sep 29, 2018 5:43 pm
Gwennnnnnnn: Wat the hlel was thta at lunch????
Billy stared at the message, then typed back.
Billiam: Not now.
Gwennnnnnnn: no actually it is nwo
Gwennnnnnnn: u rely hurt him
Billy's chest tightened. It was hard to take Gwen seriously with her typing skills, but he knew Gwen was probably the only person he could go through to get to Griff again.
Billiam: I know
Billiam: I didn’t mean to
There was a pause before she replied.
Gwennnnnnnn: Intnt dosnt rly mttr wen u hit whre it hrts
Gwennnnnnnn: u rlly hur him
Billy shut his eyes, but he couldn’t stop the huff of laughter that escaped through his lips. I’m surprised I can comprehend this…
Billiam: I’m trying to fix it
Gwennnnnnnn: by smpamign him??
Billy clenched his jaw, hand traveling up to his forehead.
Billiam: How would you know?
Gwennnnnnnn: Because if you knew him soooo well, you’d know he probably won't respond when he's overwhelmed, plus he literally has dnd on🙄
Gwennnnnnnn: He’s gonna disappear for a little while if my intuition is right.
That word again.
Disappear.
Billy stared at the ceiling, his throat tight. “Shit,” he whispered.
Billiam: so what am i supposed to do?
Gwennnnnnnn: Give him space, idiot.
Gwennnnnnnn: And when he’s ACTALY ready, listen.
Billy let out a slow breath. He didn’t reply.
He knew she was right.
That didn’t make it any easier.
Later that night, he lay in bed, phone resting on his chest, screen dark. Every few minutes, he’d tap it awake, checking just in case.
Nothing.
There was always nothing.
He fucked up badly.
Griffin’s contact stared back at him, silent and unread.
Billy turned onto his side, curling his fingers into the blanket. His chest felt hollow, heavy all at once.
“I didn’t mean it… I swear,” he murmured into the quiet room, Bow’s head popping up below his legs.
Bow was the one to hear it… not the person who needed it.
And for the first time in a long while, Billy had no idea how to fix that.
—Tuesday—
Griffin didn’t show up to school.
Billy noticed almost instantly that the bike rack was missing Griffin’s old bike.
Yet, he still searched for the other boy in the halls, stopping by Griffin’s locker, walking past his first period class. He wasn’t anywhere.
He made it to his first period class 8 minutes late. He didn’t care; he was doing something “important.” He didn’t pay attention all class, hoping that Griffin would just come in late like he did Monday.
Second period rolled around, the stool where Griffin sat was pushed in, untouched. The window beside it was spilling across the floor instead of blond curls and hunched shoulders. Billy stood in the doorway longer than necessary, eyes scanning the room for Griffin.
He’s not here.
He caught Bruce's and Mr. Brader's eyes.
“Showalter,” Mr. Brader cut through. “Seat.”
Billy dropped into the chair beside Bruce, jaw tight.
He ignored the other boy, checking his phone under the table.
Nothing.
Not unread. Not delivered. Just space where Griffin’s name should’ve been lit up.
“You’re gonna go crazy if you keep doing that,” Bruce whispered, pointing at the phone in Billy’s hand. “He’ll come around… When he’s ready.”
Billy didn’t respond, didn’t even look at the other beside him. He just slid his phone into his pocket and drifted off into his head.
He’s just staying home, Billy told himself. Sure, it’s unusual, but sometimes it’s needed. He just… needs space. No. He needs to be away from me.
His knee bounced.
Will he ever trust me again? Will he ever open up to me? Will he ever… like me?
By fourth period, the unease had settled deep in his chest, heavy and sharp. Billy texted during class, fingers moving before his mind.
I shouldn’t be doing this. He needs space. But… I can’t stop.
Griff
iMessage
Sep 30, 2018 10:48 am
Billy Showalter: Hey
Billy Showalter: Are you okay?
Sent.
He stared at the screen until the words blurred into a mess of meaningless.
Nothing.
Again…
Lunch came too fast.
Gwen noticed the tension surrounding Billy. He was swimming in uneasiness.
She paused mid-chew, eyes flicking to the empty seat beside her where Griffin once sat. Her mouth pressed into a thin line.
“He didn’t show up,” her tone flat.
Billy shrugged too quickly, eyes glued to the table. “Maybe he’s sick.”
Gwen looked at him, unimpressed. “He would’ve texted me.”
Billy didn’t respond.
“I don’t think he’ll want to sit here again,” She added after a beat, voice dry. “And I don’t blame him.”
A tray slammed onto the table across from Billy. Robin. “Who we’re talkin' bout?”
“Griffin,” she said, exasperated.
“Oh,” Robin shrugged. “Yeah, I didn’t see him either. I’d usually see him at his locker. Not today, though.”
“Yeah, ok, Mr. Obvious,” Gwen said, rolling her eyes.
Billy’s eyes narrowed at the table before he rubbed his face.
Finney was pulled back into reality by the conversation. “I actually didn’t see him during 6th… I also didn’t see you, Billy.”
Billy ignored him, taking a deep breath in.
Calm down.
“Wait… Where were you?” Gwen asked.
Billy finally locked up and sighed. “I just… needed a break.”
He knew that wasn’t a good response. He knew Gwen was gonna say some bullshit, but he said it because it was true. He was overwhelmed, scared that he might have lost Griff.
“You? You needed a break? You were the one who called Griffin a coward,” Gwen snapped, leaning forward. She was loud. Words ringing in Billy’s ears.
Silence pressed down on the table. Billy didn’t respond. Gwen was right, he should have pushed through the day… but he didn’t.
Robin cleared his throat, stretching his arms behind his head. “Uh, maybe he just needed space, I mean… new space,” He tried fixing his statement, but it was too late.
Billy’s face morphed. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Why is he mad at Robin more than he is with Gwen?
Why?
Robin sighed; his save wasn’t good enough. “It means, space. Like, alone time.”
Billy scoffed. “You don’t know him. You don’t know how he… operates.”
Robin frowned. “I was just—”
“You were just what? Billy cut in, sharper than he meant to. “Guessing?”
“I don’t need to be a genius to know something like that,” Robin paused. “You called him a coward, shit, if you said that to me, I would’ve beaten the shit out of you.”
“But that’s the thing, he’s not like any of us.” Billy stood, trying to regain composure.
He took a deep breath in, closing his eyes, then exhaled, running a hand through his hair. “Sorry. I just—” He cut himself off.
I give up.
He stared at the group, not at their faces; he couldn’t make eye contact.
Then, walked away.
If he stayed, he would’ve made everything worse.
He checked his phone again.
Still nothing.
The rest of the day passed slowly, he ignored everyone.
During practice, he snapped at Bruce. Missed an easy goal, coach yelled. Billy couldn’t hear, didn’t respond.
That night, he texted again.
Griff
iMessage
Sep 30, 2018 3:17 pm
Billy Showalter: I’m sorry.
Billy Showalter: I’m sorry about yesterday
Billy Showalter: I shouldn’t have said that
Billy Showalter: I didn’t mean it.
Sent
Unread.
Billy kept his hand steady on Bow, like an anchor. He stared up at the ceiling, all those memories with Griff came back like a push, the cafe, school, the power outage, until sleep finally took over him.
.
..
…
..
.
—Wednesday—
Wednesday was the same.
Griffin wasn’t there.
Billy’s brain automatically made him look to every seat, every quiet corner Griffin usually occupied. He kept watching the time, waiting for Griffin… Waiting for the day to be over.
He didn’t go to the cafeteria; he couldn't. Not after what he did yesterday. He doesn’t want to lash out again… he’s causing trouble.
He found himself outside, walking over to the damp bench near the courtyard. It was quiet… something Griffin enjoyed, but something Billy hated.
He had to bring his camera today, had to take pictures for his photography class… Outside seemed so washed. Maybe it was because of the rain, or maybe because his existence is new. He’s not Griffin. He doesn’t perceive the same beauty Griffin sees; no, he doesn’t see what Griffin sees. The perfect picture.
Snap
He let out a sigh; the sounds of chirping flooded his ears. This wasn't normal for him, to sit in almost complete silence, to have no social interactions with anyone. This is something only Griffin was able to handle… but was he able to handle being alone?
Footsteps started to approach Billy from behind.
“The hell are you doin' out ‘ere?”
Billy sighed. Of course, it was Vance.
“Just… soaking in the environment…” Billy sighed, a huff of laughter escaping his lips.
“Hm? That’s new. Usually I see… Gr—
“Griffin,” Billy cut him off. He leaned his head back against the bench.
“I fucked up. Like really fucked up,” Billy groaned, sliding down the bench a little.
Vance took the spot next to him, didn’t say anything, just pulled out a cigarette and smoked.
“Don’t do that near me,” Billy coughed, swatting the smoke away.
“Bruce told me what happened, don’t really care all that much,” Vance blew out another puff of smoke, this time directly in Billy’s face.
“And what’s up with that? Didn’t you use to smoke? Why act like a wuss now?”
“Fuck you, I quit ages ago,” Billy kept swatting the air, a soft smile on his face.
“Haven’t seen you in a fight recently, has Bruce finally taught you self-control?” Billy teased.
“Nah, been busy lately, shit Bruce… he’s starting to piss me off,” Vanced huffed, annoyed, rolling his neck until it cracked.
“What’d he do this time?” Billy chucked quietly, hands landing right on his phone when he felt it vibrate. Give him space.
“He won’t shut up. He brings up every little inconvenience he has, and you’re exactly like him. Rich people just get on my fucking nerves,” Vance grumbled, eyeing the boy beside him.
“Just because he was able to make you quit smokin’, he thinks he can make me quit. What a delusional brat,” Vance scowled, before taking another hit from the cigarette.
“Weren’t you the one who bounced on him in the first place? Like, weren’t you obsessed with him at some point?” Billy mentioned, earning an elbow to the ribs.
“Weren’t you the one who called your lover a coward?” Vance shot back.
Billy stayed quiet and only coughed; the pain from being hit by Vance’s elbow lessened the hit of the words he just said.
He knew Vance spoke without thinking, and he knew he initiated it, but it still hurt.
“The hell even happened between the two of you. You were gushing all over him, did you cross the line or some shit?” Vance went right back into talking, his voice low and rough.
“I…I don’t even know, I tried to get him to talk to me, but he just kept ignoring me, acted like I wasn’t there,” Billy’s heart raced, his voice quivered at the end.
The wind got louder, so did the birds. He didn’t like showing this part of him to anyone, this—
“Maybe something at home?” Vance cut through Billy’s line of thought.
Something at home? Why didn’t I think of that? Shit, I wouldn’t have pressed him as hard as I did, fuck. Billy thought, eyes wide.
“Jeez, change your face. You’re creeping me out,” Vance half-joked, letting out a huff of air that could’ve been a laugh.
Billy let out a laugh, a full one. Sure, he fucked up by calling him a coward, but maybe he didn’t cause Griffin’s distance.
“Vance, this’ll probably be the only time you’ll hear this, but you are a genius,” Billy laughed, hand combing through his hair.
“The hell is that supposed to mean? Listen, out of everyone, Robin’s the idiot; he uses the wrong: there, their, and they’re whenever he’s messaging in the group chat,” Vance defended himself, extinguishing the cigarette on the bench.
“Vance, Robin’s first language isn’t even English,” Billy laughed again, leaning forward a little.
“The hell, yeah, I know that, that’s not the point though, he’s been learnin’ English for years now, he should be able to tell the difference,” Vance sighed, letting out a rough chuckle after.
“True, true, I also think Finney is his tutor for Eng—”
Billy was cut off by another vibration from his phone. He had a feeling he should look at it, that maybe, just maybe, Griffin finally decided to reach out.
He took his phone out…
He didn’t reach out.
Of course, he didn’t.
But Griffin’s DND (Do not disturb) was finally off, he was able to get Billy’s notifications.
Vance watched him from the side, eyeing him up and down.
“Jeez, you’re down bad,” Vance said, before standing up and stretching out his arms.
“Maybe I am… No, I am,” Billy smiled, stretching on the bench before standing up as well.
Vance eyed him one last time before leaving silently, leaving Billy to obsess over this.
Finally.
He didn’t need a message; he just needed a sign, a sign that maybe he wasn’t that upset anymore… an opening.
Later that night, Billy sent Griff a message, not an apology, not a proposal, but something that meant something for both of them. Billy’s growth and commitment, and Griff knowing Billy cares, cares a lot, maybe even too much.
Griff
iMessage
Oct 1st, 2018 11:57 am
Billy Showalter: I’ll do better, I swear.
There was no waiting period this time. Griff got the message right away; it’s just a matter of time before he reads it. He’ll even be ok if Griff left him on read; he just wants Griff to see what he means to him.
—Thursday—
The first thing Billy did when we woke up was check his phone. He opened up Griffin’s DMs, nothing.
His messages weren’t read either.
He sat up fully now, Bow kicking his leg into Billy’s shin in protest of his leaving. Billy let out a soft chuckle.
“You want breakfast?” He asked Bow, stretching his arms above his head before getting out of bed.
Bow barked, tail wagging in agreement.
Billy grabbed a random hoodie out of his closet, Bow walked in circles around him.
“Alright, alright, let's go,” Billy laughed, opening the door.
Bow waited until Billy made the first move.
“What’re you doing? Come on,” Billy made a hand motion for Bow to follow.
The time on the microwave read 6:07 a.m.
Billy sighed; he wished he could just stay home. He could, but he wouldn’t, he couldn’t.
Maybe Griffin would show up?
He sighed; the thought was giving him false hope. He had to go today, to apologize… to Robin and Gwen.
He put dog food into Bow’s bowl before grabbing a water bottle and making his way back upstairs.
He grabbed a set of clothes and made his way into the bathroom. As the shower was running, he brushed his teeth.
As he was about to strip, he got a notification, not from Griff, but from his Mom.
Mom
iMessage
Oct 2nd, 2018 6:19 am
Mom: Sorry, hun. Your father and I will be staying with your brother for a little longer. I hope you’re okay. Your father has added more to your allowance, so go ahead and treat yourself to something nice!
Mom: I saw there was a pretty bad storm. Is the house okay?
William❤️: ok, and yeah the house it fine, just some plants were knocked over a shit.
Mom: Did you fix them?
William❤️: I haven’t yet, I will when I get back from school.
Read—6:24 am
Billy sighed before stripping off his clothes and getting into the shower. The water was hot, but it was soothing. He needed this, needed something to take his mind off things. He let the water run down his back, he lifted his head up and let the water run down his face, tracing every corner of his face, eyes closed.
“You know, for someone who draws people, you really hate being seen.”
His eyes shot open, that memory…
“You ever draw yourself?”
Griffin’s responses…
“No.”
“Because I have to look too long.”
Billy swallowed. Why did that remind him of that?
He grabbed the shampoo and started lathering his hair with it.
Has Griff ever… initiated first contact? He thought to himself, his movement going still.
I don’t think he likes me like I like him.
“Stop it,” he whispered out loud. His hands scratching at his scalp to try and calm himself down.
“You don’t know that,” He said to himself again.
You? No, I mean I.
He looked down. Griff was nothing like him; he was more like Vance. Does he have the same viewpoints as him? Does he hate wealthy people? Does he hate him?
He rinsed out the shampoo, it got in his eyes, but he couldn’t register it.
He moved on to conditioner, running it through his hair evenly. Hands shaking softly. He lifted his head again, the water running through his hair rather than falling on his face. He sighed before bringing his head back down and scrunching his hair.
He grabbed the body wash and started spreading it everywhere on his body.
I wish… he would touch me. Play with my hair, grab my hand, hit me…
“Stop it, you’re being weird,” Billy groaned, washing off the soap.
He dried off and left the bathroom, then went back in after he changed. He grabbed the hair diffuser and started drying his hair.
Touch.
_________
He pulled into the school parking lot. He wanted to get there early… but the shower took longer than necessary.
As he parked, he saw Robin and Gwen. He could go apologize now, but he decided to wait; he doesn’t want to deal with it this early in the day.
First period was a blur; second was different.
Griffin wasn’t here again, but that wasn’t the issue. The issue was Bruce.
“Vance told me you two were talking yesterday,” Bruce said as soon as Billy sat down, eyes squinting at him.
“Yeah,” Billy paused for a second. “He told you?”
“Not all of it,” Bruce gave an unimpressed look at him before continuing. “I want to know… did he say anything about me?”
“Are you serious?” Billy mocked Bruce’s expression and chuckled.
“It’s not funny. Did he say anything?” Bruce whined, whispering lowly.
“Bruce, I don’t want to talk about you and Vance’s situation. If you wanna know so bad, go ask him,” Billy whispered back, more agitated but soft.
“I listened to your rants about Griffin; it’s your turn to help a friend out,” Bruce pressed. “Please.”
Billy didn’t say anything for a moment. Bruce was right. When Billy first gained his crush on Griff, it was his sophomore year. He went straight to Bruce to navigate through this new crush; he had never had a crush on another boy. Bruce was probably the worst person to go to, because he had never liked a guy before either. It was a complete mess.
“Okay, Okay, Vance said you got on his nerves… and he called you a delusional brat…” Billy whispered and didn’t move.
Bruce stayed quiet for a second before leaning back into his chair and sighing.
“Do you think he even likes me? Like friend-wise, I should just give up on him,” Bruce sighed, eyes stuck on the ceiling.
“I think that’s just how he acts; he’s insensitive,” Billy paused, before mimicking Bruce. “I mean, I think he likes you, but who knows, I suck at relationships… ruined mine before it even started.”
“I’m pretty sure you had more girlfriends than me… And Griffin, I think he’ll bounce back, just give him time,” Bruce grabbed Billy’s shoulder, before taking out his notebook to start copying the teacher's lecture.
Give him time… how much time?
“I think I might have an obsession.”
Bruce looked over at him, smiling softly. “Probably.”
.
..
.
Lunch came quickly; this was the moment he had to apologize.
He arrived at the table with Bruce beside him. He took his seat where he usually sat and just stayed quiet for a second.
Gwen chewed her food without glancing up at Billy, Amy eyeing her, and then gave a soft smile to Billy. Finney just waved and started speaking to Bruce.
“Gwen… Sorry about the other day, I was out of line,” Billy finally spoke up, the table turning to him, waiting for Gwen’s response.
Gwen smiled when she swallowed her food. “I knew you’d come back.”
Billy chuckled, smiling softly at the younger girl in front of him. Before he could continue, there was that same slam of a tray on the table.
Robin.
“Did I miss something?” he said cluelessly, eyes darting to everyone at the table.
“Uh, Robin, sorry about what I said the other day, I was just upset and took it out on you an—” He was cut off by the other.
“I don’t care about your apology, we’ve known each other long enough to not care about shit like that, especially when it involves someone we line, of course, we’re gonna get protective,” Robin jabbered, rolling his eyes during some parts before finally taking a bite out of the greasy school pizza.
Before Billy could speak up again, someone else joined in.
“Didn’t know you gave good advice,” Vance provoked Robin.
“Wha’cha say? You wanna fight?” Robin spoke with his mouth full, earning remarks for it.
“I’d beat you easily…” Vance continued, but Billy stopped paying attention.
The only thing he could pay attention to was Vance in Griff’s seat. Sure, Griff only sat there once, but he couldn’t get the thought of someone else taking his space, especially when there was a seat right beside Bruce.
“Billy,” Gwen half yelled, leaning forward towards him.
“Wh—What?” Billy asked, eyes darting around the table.
“Jeez, you’re so out of it… Go back to your normal self,” Gwen rolled her eyes, before continuing. “Griffin, it’s his birthday today.”
…
“What?”
“It’s his birthday, I got a notification for it, I wonder why you didn’t get one,” Gwen started up again, but Billy zoned out again.
Shit. I should get him something, right? No, that’s too much.
The rest of lunch went by quickly. The rest of the day followed as well.
By the time he was exiting the school, a poster caught his eye: Homecoming Dance – Three Weeks-Oct 16!
He stared at it before taking a picture of it and making his way out the main entrance.
He didn’t go home, no, he went to Michaels. He sat in his car searching for art supplies, what’s good, what's bad, before finally entering.
He looked through every aisle, picking out pencils and mechanical pencils, finding mixed-media sketch books, until he stumbled upon the paint section. He’s never seen a painting made by Griff; maybe this is a good opportunity to start. He picked out Golden paints, paint brushes, gesso, an easel, and finally canvases.
He paid for everything before making his way down to the Dollar Store and grabbing a big gift bag for all the supplies. He put everything in the bag, then stuffed it with tissue paper.
He began making his way down to Griff’s house, parking a few houses down so the other boy wasn’t aware he was there.
He walked his way up the stairs, before he hesitated.
Is this a good idea? Should I really be doing this?
Billy sighed, “It’s too late to go back.”
He knocked on the door, but didn't say anything. He could hear shuffling from in front of the door. He was hopeful to finally see Grif—
“Don’t open the door.”
.
.
.
I fucked up.
Billy didn’t know what to do; should he say something, should he knock again and pretend he didn’t hear that? No, he’s not, he’s gonna respect him.
He set the gift upright before making his way back to his car.
What a complete disaster.
Sooooo, a little late, but that's okay!
Girls and Gays, I'm here to inform I have now made a Tumblr account and I might start posting updates on there, and or short snippets of the story. If anyone is interested, my user is cuntyd0llette!!
I lost track of time, and I was in writer's block, so I wasn't reaching flow state while writing. Sorry if there are spelling errors POV errors.
I also want this to be clear, I wanted to lose the focus of Griffin in the scene with Billy and Vance, why, shit, idk.
ANOTHER THING, I HAVE THE NEXT FOUR CHAPTER OUTLINES COMPLETED, SO HOPEFULLY THOSE WILL COME OUT SOON!!!
Also this chapter was released at 1:45am.... kill me. JOKING NO AO3 CURSE PLZZZ