Chapter Text
Etho was never fond of eye contact, it wasn’t out of some urge for rebellion or even a shift of the uncanny valley, just a general distaste. Etho had also learnt, however, that typically that sentiment wasn’t help by those around him. He got good at looking like he was paying attention , opting to stare blankly at the space between one’s eyebrow, or closing his eyes and nodding in understanding.
It was much easier to find the moments where people didn’t need to look at him, it was easier in the past at least.
Since his eye injury people seemed like they couldn’t help staring at him, tracing the lines of the raised tissue, not necessarily out of disgust more out of morbid curiosity. It left a bitter taste in Ethos mouth, they would ask; “does it hurt?”, “What happened?”, “Can you still see out of there?”. Of course, at any surface level conversation Etho would nod his head and say thank you, but it doesn’t actually affect me all that much.
Etho chose this option, not only that it’s easier but he had noticed people asking those questions wouldn’t like to hear the truth, they would want a brief moment of explanation that is mostly a lighthearted response. For a first introduction to be a how-are-you to a in depth description of the visceral horror that is the nerve pain that keeps him up at night seems to be a turn off for people.
Despite any display of kindness from the other, it was not uncommon to still feel himself being watched, people seeing daggers through him. Almost never satisfied, no matter the answer.
Etho doesn’t remember the day with extreme clarity, a moment working on redstone, another clutching his hand over his face, a metallic taste lining the inside of his mouth as he screams for aid. Most major injuries are cured by respawn, and surely the blood loss alone from that day would have gained that as a possibility, but he didn’t, and it never healed. Despite the healing potions, despite the respawning, it stayed present. Something to do with corrupted player code and the old healing mechanics. Etho never bothered with more follow up, it was clear it was staying.
Wearing the mask had come as an easy cover up, covering at least half of the scar, including the most messy parts where his mouth lifts up. Learning to talk louder and clearer took years, especially with the new found difficulty of having a different shaped mouth that was still healing.
The first time someone saw his face it was Bdubs, of course it was. They were caving and Etho had lost an incredible amount of health, around the corner was a spawned and the mobs kept piling up. Escaping to a side cove, and blocking the entrance, Etho pulled down his mask and started eating in order to fill his saturation as high as possible. He was heaving breaths between swallows, crouching on the floor. After a moment, leaning against the cold stone wall, he finally healed enough to go back out to help Bdubs.
That was when he noticed Bdubs in the crawl space between the blocks, not looking in the best shape, shirt tattered with rips and blood.
“You got any spare food?” Bdubs grunted with a pleading stare and he tried to wiggle the rest of the way through the hole. Etho grabbed him under his arms and pulled him the rest of the way through, planting down a torch and blocking off the entrance once again. Etho tossed him the rest of his bread as he tried to ignore the feeling of his own skin slowly stitching back together.
As he tossed the bread he looked up to Bdubs who was staring at him with his mouth agape.
“Is there something on my face?” Etho laughed awkwardly through the stare, and then it dawned on him that that was the issue. He didn’t have something on his face. He pulled up his mask.
“Sorry sorry sorry!” Bdubs yelled in quick succession, “I didn’t mean to stare I promise I won’t tell anyone about anything I saw!” Bdubs was rambling, covering his eyes as if he had just seen the password to some top secret safe.
Ethos heart was beating fast, blood rushing to his head. He wasn’t uncomfortable with Bdubs knowing, he’d probably find out eventually. That secret had been a part of him for so long he’d forgotten about the possibility of people even finding out what he looked like, snagged lip and all. A heavy silence weighed down the room, save for the distant gurgling of zombies on the other side of the wall.
“You can ask questions, if you want to.” Bdubs never liked prying into Ethos life, which he liked, but it ended up meaning that Ethos knowledge of Bdubs far exceeded Bdubs’ knowledge of Etho. The opportunity of opening up like this comes in extreme circumstances, or a slip of the mind, Etho had decided this was neither, he had known Bdubs long enough.
“Really?” Bdubs spoke in awe, eyes lighting up.
“Really.” Etho nodded.
“Okay, okay, let me heal first.” Taking a loaf and ripping it apart.
“Not that I think it looks bad!” Bdubs tacked on, mouth full of bread.
“Okay?”
“It looks wonderful, honestly.” Bdubs defended like his life was on the line.
“It’s okay Bdubs.” Etho smiled to himself, he understood it wasn’t the most pretty sight, that’s why he chose the mask in the first place.
A drip sounded through the cave, echoing and reverberating. Adrenaline was still coursing its way through Ethos body, a thrum of his heart in his chest. Etho decided the best way to ignore his decision was to pick at the grime under his fingertips as Etho and Bdubs sat on opposite sides of the wall. Both of their breathing softened, no longer panting. Etho spares a glance at the other to see his eyes screwed shut, a nasty gash on his cheek sewing itself shut, Etho wondered what was so wrong with his personal code. Bdubs opened his eyes and Etho shoves his eyes away.
“Okay you ready?” Bdubs asks.
“As I’ll ever be.” Etho affirms.
“Does it hurt?”
“Only sometimes”
“Why didn’t it heal?”
“Messed up player code.”
“How long ago did it happen?”
“Five years, give or take.”
Bdubs’ eyebrows were furrowed, fingers tapping a beat on his knee.
“Does it still affect you?”
“In many ways.”
“Do you still kiss people the same?”
Etho choked and huffed a laugh. “What? You want to find out?”
“I’m not gay.” Bdubs clarifies, blush slowly creeping into his face.
“Neither am I.”
Etho hadn’t even considered that as something that would change. Etho had kissed girls before, sure, but it was a long while ago way before the scar had even made itself known on his face.
Before he could think himself out of it he was pulling his mask back down and kissing Bdubs. Bdubs made a startled noise and Etho pulled back. Before he could even mutter an apology Bdubs was kissing him back and pushing him back against the wall. Etho put his hands up to Bdubs’ face, thumbing over the skin that had just healed as Bdubs adjusted their position to him straddling Etho.
Bdubs deepened the kiss, lapping at Ethos mouth, Etho reciprocating, putting his other hand over Bdubs’ left shoulder. It’s not as different as Etho expected it to be, both kissing a man and having a scar. Bdubs was happily leading, unhooking the mask from Ethos ears and discarding it on the floor. Bdubs pulled away from Ethos lips and started making his way across his cheek and scar, down his neck, mouthing at it.
“Bdubs-“ Etho let out a strangled whine as he tried not to squirm away from the pleasant sensation, heat boiling in his stomach. “Hah, you’re killing me here.”
And Bdubs grinds his hips into Etho, blooming heat and friction he hadn’t realised had built up, as Bdubs bites into the junction of his neck. Pain mixing with pleasure, Etho takes his hands to Bdubs hips in order to place him into creating more friction. Bdubs suckles at the spot before returning to kissing Etho.
Clearly chasing his own pleasure at this point, Bdubs’ pace quickens and he takes his mouth off of Ethos to pant his name into his shoulder.
It hits Etho with an awful sense of clarity that Bdubs isn’t imagining anyone else but him, guilt starting to swirl itself across his chest.
“So good for me.” Bdubs swears into Ethos jumper, Etho ruts into Bdubs for one last time before he comes, pleasure exploding in front of him, legs shaking with it. Bdubs still rocking into him, driving him into overdrive as the rush starts to fade into pain. He opens his eyes to see Bdubs looking at him, before Bdubs reaches his own end.
The dripping of the cave now replaced with ragged breaths, similar to the ones they had both entered in, but now with a much different meaning. Dread crawls up Ethos throat.
“Bdubs, get off me.” He orders, to which Bdubs obliges.
“Everything okay?” Etho can’t even look at him, bile rising through him.
He grabs the mask and puts it back on.
“Sweetheart?”
“Don’t.” Sweat is slipping down the back of his neck, chest tightening.
Etho stands up on shaky legs, deciding that facing a hoard of mobs alone would be easier than talking to Bdubs ever again, he breaks the blocks and makes a run for it, ignoring whatever Bdubs starts to yell from a far about.