Chapter Text
I hit record on my log, “Ok, Rotzar log number 456, I am currently crossing the asteroid belt, I haven’t seen SAR in some time now, and based on our last encounter, I hope it stays that way! At this point I’m kinda getting used to the talking planets, when I’m careful they just ask some questions and leave me be so I think I’m getting a hang of the situation-” I say all this a quickly and concisely as possible before being swiftly interrupted by someone who clearly didn’t give a crap about my currently fairly tight and unforgiving schedule due to my previous failure to achieve my “goal” of terraforming Mars.
“Hey” A booming echoey voice called from above me. My heart rate picked up immediately and my eyes widened as I stifled something that was either a sigh or a scream welling up in me, I was pressed enough mentally already! A strange planet interrogating me in the asteroid belt was just what I needed right now.
I took a deep breath and looked up as the strange planet™ continued “You’re Astrodude right?” He said, smiling down at me, I quickly scrambled to find an acceptable response in my head, that wouldn’t make it sound like I was just slightly scared out of my wits “uuuuhhhh… Yeeeaaah?” I said, putting it out more like a question than a statement which was not what I had Intended to do. Uuuuugh.
“I’m Titan, Saturn’s moon” he announced “Uh, ok? Why are you hiding in the asteroid belt? I thought you were Ceres for a moment.” I began to ramble a little. I was still on edge but my nerves weren’t quite as shot so I could once more form coherent thoughts and genuine curiosity began to take the forefront of my mind by storm.
I studied him more closely, he was currently in the weird human-looking form that all the planets or moons or whatever seemed to have, he looked pretty young actually, if I were to see him on earth I would probably guess he was like 19. based on pictures I would’ve assumed he’d be entirely orange because of his dense atmosphere but, it seems that the planets often entirely disregard the fact that they are supposed to have- y’know visible atmospheres and just looked like whatever the hell they want!
He was mostly a sort of soft teal colour, with darker green hair, cut short and allowed to sort of just do whatever, he had clearly made no attempt to style it in any way. With slight wisps of orange all over his body. His eyes were a soft kind of pastel green with light orange and blue accents. He wore a white T-shirt with an orange-red plaid flannel shirt worn open over top. He wore straight fit jeans and runners.
Honestly the only things that would clue you into the fact that he wasn’t human if you saw him walking down the street are 1. He has an unnatural skin and hair colour, 2. How oddly perfect his body and face are, unlike humans and especially noticeable in the face area, most of the planets and moons have perfectly symmetrical features or slight differences to humans in smaller details like they have slightly pointed ears or wings or tails!
Other than that he could probably pass for some random “chill dude” you would see skateboarding with his friends or something before heading back to high school or college.
“Sorry if I scared you-” He began, Yeah no shit dude? Maybe announce your presence sooner in future? Or just like, find a better time? “Saturn’s probably looking for me so I need a good place to hide, listen I need a favour and only you can help me, so what do you say?” He explained, and if I were entirely honest I would say this only left me with far more questions than I had previously but he had asked me a question and my entire motto was quite literally, “answer the question, smile and be on your way” so I decided to just be polite.
I took a deep breath and said, raising my voice as much as possible so that he could actually hear me- “Okay Titan, I’m happy to help”
He smiled- more genuinely this time “Really? You promise?” He sounded happier this time and honestly for just a fleeting moment I felt that my words were actually kind of true, I did genuinely want to know why he needed my help. “I promise” These words were still strained though, I didn’t really want to give him any leverage as to why I shouldn’t back out if I find I probably need to- too late now though.
“Ok then! I need you to go underneath my surface into my deep dark underwater oceans and search for life!” I immediately began to regret every decision I had ever made in my life leading up to this point. Again.
“I- uh, wait! But, I-I thought-” I began to trip over my words, Titan cut me off “I’m aware it’s not an easy task but, I need to know.” and I’m aware that you seem to really care about this but, I care about my livelihood more, bye now! Is what I should have said, instead I said “Ugh- listen I wish I could help, but my boss is gonna kill me if I-” “You promised.” He said this in an almost entirely dead sounding voice. I knew I shouldn’t have promised! His face dropped and he began to look angry, it was incredibly threatening and I knew from unfortunate experience that this was probably the beginning of the end for me, I would either have to fulfil his wishes of my own accord or get a broken spaceship, a lot of potentially major injuries and possibly the rest of my lif on Titan if I didn’t agree.
I decided to try a few more times to get him to see my side of things before completely giving in, this would throw off my whole schedule after all! “I’m sorry Titan, maybe another time.” I said quickly before attempting to send the ship forward at full throttle, Titan moved. I stuttered “Haha- you’re- you’re in my way!” He stared at me with, almost a disappointed expression? How rude, he was the one basically trying to force me to go down onto his surface, disregarding my whole schedule, and my safety! It’s not like I’d planned to go on a trip down to a planet’s surface today.
Let alone a moon I have little to no knowledge of when it comes to surface temperature, atmospheric density, gravity etc. I could die without that kind of preparation! Venus was a lucky case and the planets had to help me to get off of his surface!
I put the spaceship in reverse and tried to get away one last time, to no avail unfortunately “Oh! Uh I just remembered I left my- space- uh- wallet! Yes wallet back at uh- uuuuhh” I tried, it was not working and Titan was only looking more frustrated by the second.
“What will it be, Astrodude?”
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Titan
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As Astrodude began nearing my atmosphere I heard him talking to someone called ehh… computer I think? “ What are my odds of surviving on Titan?” and excuse me? That’s kind of rude considering the fact I’m completely able to hear all of this, though it’s probably important for Astrodude’s overall survival that he knows this so I don’t say anything. “Computer” responded “Do you want me to sugarcoat it? The odds are higher than they were on Venus” In a weirdly crackly voice. Well that’s kind of expected right? Astrodude then said, an exasperated tone in his voice “I nearly died on Venus like a hundred times!” At this I began to feel a little bit bad, he’s probably kind of traumatised from his previous experience on Venus. I quickly squashed those feelings though, or tried to anyway. As Computer said the chances of him surviving were higher than on Venus, I don’t think my weather is all that crazy, at least at the moment.
and while I’m very cold that’s probably better than very hot to be honest, because his equipment won’t melt! I then realise that I’m basically trying to justify what I’m doing to nobody but myself so I stop thinking about that and focus on the conversation.
I listen back in to hear Computer saying “but there are no killer robots this time” and umm… what? Killer robots? I don’t even know what those are but they definitely don’t sound good.
“Ohooooh well that’s good” Astrodude says, somewhat sarcastically, why would he be sarcastic about that? That’s like a deadly issue! Though maybe killer robots aren't a usual issue? “Instead there may be killer aliens,” Computer responded. OH umm… at least they have faith in the idea I might have life? “Computer, I hate you sometimes.” Astrodude responded plainly.
I decided to cut in here, feeling a bit worse the longer the conversation continued “I appreciate you doing this Astrodude” It’s not like he had a choice my mind traitorously whispers. Only to then be made to feel worse by Astrodude himself. “Yeah! It’s not like I’m being forced to do this by a planet.” he ends it off muttering slightly like I’m not supposed to hear that part but of course I do anyway. “By a moon to be exact” I say, unimpressed. “I think he heard you.” The computer said. “Yup” he sighed “I really don’t care if he’s a moon or a planet, it’s all the same to me” Astrodude mutters, probably to himself, so low I barely catch it. It makes me smile a little, at least someone doesn’t give a crap about the unfair system hierarchy that all of the planets seem to believe in. Though I was still a little annoyed at getting grouped in with the planets after my… experience with the Earth. Ugh, I can’t believe I looked up to him!
I dragged myself back to the present before I could get lost down that rabbit hole and upset myself even more, again. “Computer, why is Titan’s atmosphere orange?” Astrodude asked. I listened in as best as I could as I myself have wanted to know that for a while now. “The atmosphere is made up of hydrocarbon particles” Computer responded, as if it was reading off of some pre-made script. Huh, that's interesting. “That’s cool! I still can’t believe that a moon in our solar system has an atmosphere that’s so dense, it’s insane!” Astrodude sounded really enthusiastic at this. Probably why he became a space traveler. I smiled a little at the indirect compliment. “It’s also 1.6x denser than Earth’s.” Computer said. My smile immediately dropped and then turned to a scowl as Astrodude said “Oh you hear that Titan? You’re pretty dense!”
“Oh ha-ha” I said, rolling my eyes as I sat down.
I wasn’t gonna move for a while unless it was moving along my current orbit which I can do naturally so I decided to just settle in for a while. Just while Astrodude is doing his thing. I squirmed a bit as he set down, it was kinda uncomfortable. Especially after a lifetime of having no outside forces except asteroids touch my surface.
I couldn’t quite make out what Astrodude was saying anymore but I could feel him shivering ever so slightly, I think he was cold, it is an incredibly unique but horrible feeling to experience, having moving life on your surface for the first time, hopefully I would get used to it sooner rather than later.
I was sitting in the belt, fidgeting with asteroids in an attempt to distract myself from the odd new sensations on my surface until- “Hey Titan” I jumped, recognizing the voice immediately and turned around. In my panicked state I just said “Oh- uh hey! Um, Astrodude’s not here” The moon gave me an odd look before saying “W-what? No! I was looking for you!” I gave him an odd look back “Me?” Realisation dawned upon me “Oh, because of the whole-” “Yeah, the whole mess.” He gave me an apologetic look and I averted my eyes. “Listen, I know the Earth was rude but he didn’t mean any of it.” What? Of course he meant it! Were The moon and I looking at the same planet?
“By it do you mean that I’m just a moon and that I shouldn’t dream of becoming anything else?” I sucked all the emotion I could right out of that sentence. “Yeah?” Was the Moon’s only response and, honestly? I felt bad, he has clearly been brainwashed from years around nobody but the rockies that this is entirely normal! Which it is not.
“You think he didn’t mean it?” I asked skeptical and completely disbelieving. “Well- I think the Earth felt threatened by you. He’s proud of having life but he also suffers a lot because of it. I think finding out another celestial body has the potential to sustain life made him get all… defensive. I know you must be angry but… Let’s not lose our heads ok?” The moon says, he met my eyes at the last statement and I honestly didn’t know what to do. I mean I think that The moon is probably right in the reasons he did it but, that doesn’t make it right.
“Titan, hey Titan!” Astrodude calls out very loudly from my surface. “Wait, is that Astrodude? Where is he?” The Moon asks, looking behind me. “Uh… Astrowho?” I ask completely inconspicuously. I definitely didn’t say his name earlier when The moon startled me. Not at all! “Astrodude! He’s a cute little Earthling in his tiny spaceship” The moon answers fondly, He clearly likes Astrodude- which I would find endearing if I wasn’t currently about to get caught forcing an earthling down onto my surface by someone who clearly cares a lot about the earthlings, one who I also happen to like and would like to stay on the good side of.
“A-S-T-R-O-D-U-D-E to T-I-T-A-N” Astrodude shouts, again. “Wait, is he below your surface?” The moon grabbed my wrist and pulled me closer, getting really close to the side of my neck. My face heated before I realised what was happening, his surface was comfortably warm, compared to mine anyway, I was inclined to stay there before snapping back to reality and practically leaping away. “Hey! Personal space Earth’s moon. Alright?” I say soooo casually, hiding my cheeks, before running away? Seriously me? That’s the best heat-of-the-moment idea you could think of? Uuugh oh well.
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Astrodude
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“Ugh he’s not answering. Seriously, how are we supposed to find a diapir?” I say, getting myself worked up just thinking about it. “I don’t know” Computer answers. “Ugh, any other bright ideas?’ I ask impatiently. “Just one.” she responds. Huh? Oh! Um. ehhhhh, is all I think as a giant drill comes falling, seemingly from the sky? “Wait! Huh? Where did this come from?””I 3-D printed it” She says as if that isn’t the most insane thing I’d ever heard. She 3-D printed it? How? When? Did she know I would need it? If so, why didn’t she give it to me as soon as we got here? Also where did it even come from? It looked like it came falling from the sky! But, surely not right?
I sigh, questioning everything isn’t going to help me right now. “So, am I supposed to drill through 60 miles of solid rock and ice?” I query, skepticism creeping into my voice. “Either that or you’re going to have to somehow defeat titan” She said, one of her rare bites of dry humour showing it’s face. I smile “Wouldn’t that make me… ZUES?” I laugh as she says “I don’t get jokes about mythology.””Of course you don’t” I say rolling my eyes and moving over to the drill. I turn it on and begin drilling. Only 60 more miles to go.
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Titan
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“Agh! What’s Astrodude doing? Drillin’ through my surface?”
Suddenly once more a familiar and usually welcome but, not currently voice calls out “aha! I heard you!” I stared at him and he stared right back. He wasn’t giving up anytime soon, and those stunning icy eyes had warmed at the mention of Astrodude, I caved and sighed. “Ok, ok! Astrodude is helping me find out if I have life underneath my surface” His eyes widened slightly, I only noticed because I was studying them so closely “With his own free will?” He asked, raising his eyebrows. “Well… it’s… complicated” That was clearly not the right answer as his face darkened and he studied me more intently before furrowing his eyebrows and saying “Hey I know that you’re angry and anxious after what happened, but this is wrong!” He looked upset but sympathetic at the same time, which I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone pull off before, but he certainly did. Honestly, it made me mad. Mad that the Earth could possibly treat someone so kind and understanding like they were nothing more than a decoration to brag about.
“What’s wrong with you?” I find myself nearly shouting. Voice riddled with anger. “Wha-huh?” The moon says, eyes really widening now taking a step back in surprise, “Why did you come all the way here just to apologise for something the Earth did?” I say calming down a little now, His eyes soften as he realises my anger is not necessarily directed towards him but then narrow once he realised what I said. He surveyed me with a questioning look in his eyes. “Well I- I don’t know- wait we’re not talking about me” He shook his head “Is the Earth your friend? Does he treat you like an equal?” I scowled as I said. I could feel myself getting riled up again as I towered over The moon, glaring at him but hoping the Earth could see it. The moon raised his arms and took a step back defensively. “I- I mean we’re friends so-” I backed down a little and looked at The moon, hoping he could see the sympathy in my eyes. He looked away, I continued “I’ve never seen the Earth ask you to join his card games. The only time he was nice to you was when he was showing you off! Does that sound like a friend to you?” I glowered as I spoke, my newfound hatred of the Earth finally showing its full face.
The moon looked absolutely taken aback and… offended? He was clearly upset at me anyway. I thought about the last minute of our conversation and realised quickly why. The moon had come with good intentions and I'd entirely ignored his attempts to make peace, insulted his planet (whether deserved or not) and practically threatened him as well!
I’m such an idiot!
The Moon had averted his eyes, clearly thinking. He seemed to have calmed down but, that didn’t make anything better
“Look, Earth’s moon?” He looked up at me, his icy eyes gleaming in the faint light of the asteroid belt. “I’m sorry, I took it too far.” I said, maintaining eye contact. He drew back and looked away “Let Astrodude go or I’m bringing backup.”
My expression soured even further as my mood dropped to an all time low
I watched him go with a melancholy feeling settling itself deep into my core
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Astrodude
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My whole body shuddered as the drill continued to shake and jitter. “Ho-0-ow_—___–_-_mu-u-uch_–_-__—_=_f-u-U-r-t-H-e-e-r??” I attempt to ask Computer
“Wait, Astrodude the drill is overheating.” She says unhelpfully “Oh come on u- AAAGAHG”
That was all I could get in before I was weightless. The drill fell. I didn’t know how long the fall was going to be but, That was about the furthest thing from my mind as I fell. I honestly felt like I was going to vomit. The fall was about 3 seconds long but, at the time it felt like a millennium.
I hit cold clear water and gasped. I wasn’t wet on the inside of the suit but the temperature did suddenly drop and I began to float. I opened my eyes, I didn’t even remember closing them, and looked around, I sucked in a breath. It was beautiful, a deep blue, as clear as untouched snow in the aftermath of a snowstorm. With stunning green-blue ice for a ceiling. No end to the abyss of an ocean in sight. The only light source was my headlamp and the rays of light slicing the water were all vibrant and visible, the first light to grace this water since the day it settled here. It was breath-taking.
I was thoroughly stunned for 5 minutes before Computer spoke, breaking the peaceful silence “Astrodude?” “huh? Oh! Uhhh… wow. I’m really here. The underwater oceans of Titan are… Beautiful.” I said, coming short of the right word to truly describe its full magnificence.
Maybe this detour would be worth it after all.