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It might have occured to him when he'd bought another dog bed to keep at Flambae's apartment since they'd gone back there after work so often. Or maybe during the single time he'd been back to his own apartment in the past four and a half weeks to grab some clothes and his one and only toothbrush.
But it took a particular Saturday morning for the idea to finally cross Robert's mind. He sat at Flambae's kitchen counter with Beef curled in his lap munching on a treat that Flambae kept a whole bag of in a cabinet. Flambae buzzed around the kitchen, making omelets, wearing nothing but a neon orange novelty apron with the phrase 'Flambé All Day' printed on it. The TV softly played the morning news but it could barely be heard over Flambae's ranting about the most recent bullshit call Robert had sent him on (getting someone's pet rock out of a burning building). Suddenly everything clicked into place.
"Chad," Robert said tentatively, "are we fucking living together?"
Flambae looked up from his cooking and snorted, though it was quickly cut short as he started doing the math in his own head.
"Oh shit."
"Yeah."
"Oh shit."
"Alright fucker the first one was enough, relax."
Flambae looked dumbfounded by the revelation, beyond what Robert thought seemed reasonable. He turned back to the omelet, watching intently as it finished cooking and plating it up for the two of them without saying a word.
Robert cleared his throat a few bites in when Flambae was still pacing around the kitchen. "Am I missing something here? This is like the quietest I've ever seen you."
"How are you not freaking out more?" Flambae sputtered. "Living together is a big fucking step. I've never gotten around to doing all this shit with a guy. My longest relationship was three months and it ended with him trying to stab me for drug money, so I burnt his house down."
Robert blinked. "Okay. Well. I think we're probably on better terms than that. Which is weird honestly considering the whole," he motioned to Flambae's missing fingers, "but, yeah. I've never done this either. Mecha Man was my whole life. But I'm not exactly opposed to it. I'm already used to all your annoying habits."
"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"
"It means you use up all the hot water in the shower, and you leave the cap off the toothpaste, and you snore like a motherfucker after a day where you've been using your powers a lot, but I'm already used to it." Robert shrugged.
"Yeah well you kick in your sleep and have almost burnt down my place twice because you can't cook for shit."
"Right, and..."
Flambae sighed. "And I don't give a shit about it."
Robert grimaced slightly and motioned vaguely with his hand. "Exactly. I think there's nothing left to freak out about. It just kinda... happened."
Flambae ran a hand down his face and finally sat down.
"So like, are you moving in here for real? Getting rid of your apartment?"
"I'm paying month to month and I haven't been there in weeks so... yeah. I think maybe I should. And maybe we could look for a better place together, eventually."
"Fuck man. Why is that making me all tingly and shit? When did I get so fucking soft?"
"I think that's called having normal human emotions beyond anger."
"I don't like it. Do something to piss me off."
Robert snorted, putting Beef down on the floor to finish his own breakfast in the dog bowl on the kitchen floor. He cracked his neck, picked a cheese covered mushroom out of his omelet, and tossed it right into Flambae's hair where it lay loose around his shoulders.
Flambae gaped at him exaggeratedly. "Not. The hair."
He leapt over the counter in a flying tackle, not stopping the flight until Robert's back hit the wall, knocking the air out of him. He bit down on Robert's collarbone hard as he writhed under him, their half eaten breakfast quickly forgotten as they devoured each other.
Z-Team Off-Duty
Robert
Hey guys, Flambae and I are moving in together and he wants a housewarming party but is too much of a coward to be the one to ask.
Flambae
Fuck you
But yeah
Prism
Girl we just threw your ass a housewarming party and you want more gifts because you're getting some dick? Greedy ass
Invisigal
yeah just saying I did a good ass job with the first one. It was lit
get it
lamps
Golem
nice
Robert
Funny. Anyway we don't need gifts. Just a fun time with some friends.
Flambae
fuck that, you bitches better pitch in and bring me an air fryer
Dumpy
An excellent choice. I have been enjoying using the dehydrate function on my own air fryer to preserve my excess of melon for later consumption. It is truly a marvel of human ingenuity. I will be in attendance, my friends.
Sonar
im busy
Robert
I didn't give a date or time yet but thank you Phenomaman.
Sonar
fuck
Malevola
I'm going which means you're going
Sonar
yeah okay
Robert
It'll probably be next weekend.
Coupé
I will bring a gift, if you are okay with owing me a debt.
Flambae
no
Robert
Absolutely not
Punch Up
Good choice
Waterboy
Okkkj pnnbe yyyyy bxppwwwwww
Punch Up
Yer phone screen is wet lad
Malevola
Herm babes we've talked about this. Use the speech to text.
Waterboy
Right, sorry. I eye will I'll be probably there. I mean I would like to. I might, I won't have plans. I probably will be there.
Robert
I'm inviting the usuals from work too. Royd, Chase, Blazer.
Flambae
o my sister's coming too
Robert
What
When were you gonna tell me that
Flambae
About thirty seconds ago
Robert
A little more warning would have been nice.
Prism
oh the girls are fightingggggg
Malevola
Are our dads getting divorced??
Robert
Okay conversation over. I'll send the details later.
Invisigal
do you like. know how group chats work
Golem
yrwh were gonna be on this for like anorher 20 minutes
Robert muted the chat and looked around his apartment. He didn't exactly have a lot to take with him. Other than the couch, which Flambae insisted on flying downstairs by himself to show off his strength (it worked, Robert was very turned on), his entire life fit into a single box. He sent a quick text to Flambae, who was definitely avoiding coming back upstairs considering it took all of five seconds for him to fly to or from the balcony.
Robert
So like you know we're now living together and you can't avoid me right?
He grabbed his box and, at the last second, put the box under his arm to free a hand for his plastic lawn chair. Fuck it. Sentimental value. He made his way down the stairs where Flambae waited next to the moving truck, impatiently tapping his foot. Robert calmly loaded his belongings and dusted off his hands.
"You gonna bitch at me now?" Flambae crossed his arms over his chest.
"Nope." Robert smirked. "I'm gonna let her chew you out when I meet her and tell her you sprung this on me."
"Oh you motherfucker." Flambae replied as Robert walked past him and got in the driver's seat. "Hey why can't I drive?"
"Did you or did you not run over a coworker?"
"Okay first of all he wasn't a coworker yet, second of all he hit me."
"Get in the fucking truck."
"Yeah okay fair."
Flambae's sister was the first to arrive, which Robert was thankful for. He did not want to have a first meeting surrounded by rowdy Z-Teamers. They met her outside in the chilly late evening as she got out of a cab with a gift bag in hand.
She was a tall woman; not quite as tall as Flambae but she definitely had a few inches on Robert. She had tan skin and long black hair that fell over her shoulders. Her eyes were a rich brown rather than the unnatural orange Flambae had and her cheeks were a little rounder, but otherwise the resemblance was very clear between the two. It was also impossible not to notice the burn scar that ran from the left side of her jaw down past the neckline of her pale yellow sweater. She strode with purpose directly up to Flambae and flicked him hard in the center of his forehead.
"Ow, what the fuck?"
"That's for not letting me meet your fucking boyfriend until you're moving in together you ass."
Robert held back a laugh. Apparently he wouldn't even need to rat on Flambae.
She turned to Robert with a smile on her face, her demeanor much more friendly towards him. "Hi, Robert right? I'm Laila. So nice to finally meet you, no thanks to some people." She shot daggers at Flambae again and he looked suitably chastised. She looked back to Robert and scanned him up and down, appraising him. "You're not his usual type. A little more clean cut, but that's probably a good thing."
"Okaaay let's move on from that." Flambae interrupted ineffectively.
"Did he tell you about the stabber? Worst birthday ever." Laila continued.
"That happened on your birthday?!"
"I'm gonna fucking kill myself." Flambae whined. They ignored him and started walking up the stairs, Flambae sheepishly following behind.
"This is for you, by the way." Laila held out the gift bag. Robert took a peek inside to see a chunky sweater similar to the one she wore, but in a rich, dark blue.
"Wow, thanks. You knit?"
"I grew up with a brother who was constantly burning holes in his clothes in a family that couldn't afford new ones all the time. Sewing them back up was easier if we both worked on it. Sewing led to knitting eventually. Y'know, once I could actually afford it."
"That's... really sweet." Robert looked over his shoulder. "How come you're such a dick?"
Flambae scowled back at him. "She's a dick too, she's just trying to make a good impression on you."
"I mean I can't say you ever did that, so she's already one step lower on the dick scale."
Flambae grumbled incomprehensibly.
"Oh calm down." Laila rolled her eyes then grinned conspiratorially at Robert. "If you ever get into an argument, make sure to bring up when he was going through puberty and burned a hole in the crotch of his underwear every time he saw a hot guy."
"Holy fuck that is not a story to tell three minutes in."
"Why not? I have a good feeling about this one and he needs ammunition." She nudged Robert gently as they arrived at Flambae's, no-- their apartment door.
The Z-team slowly trickled in and brought the party with them. Drinks were had, an air fryer was set up in the kitchen, more drinks were had, and then everyone impatiently waited for the chicken nuggets to come out of the air fryer to soak up their drunkenness. Laila chatted easily with Prism, clearly having known her for a while, but she didn't shy away from hanging out with the rest of the team either. Robert was pretty sure he overheard her offering to make Golem a sweater.
It was well past midnight when everyone filed out, leaving a mess to deal with.
"If you invited me to this party just to help with cleanup--" Laila glared at her brother
"You volunteered." Flambae shot back.
"Yeah but you know me, asshole. I can't not want your place to be clean."
"I'll have you know I keep this place fucking spotless. He's the problem." Flambae motioned to Robert.
"Okay, I resent that." Robert said, dropping another beer bottle into a clear garbage bag. "We're not even cleaning up my mess."
Laila's phone buzzed on the counter. "Oh Mateo's here. I'll tell him to bring Mina up so you can meet them." She said to Robert, already typing away.
"Oh, uh--"
"Alright they're on their way."
Robert gulped. Steamrolling must run in the family. Apparently he was meeting Flambae's brother-in-law and niece now too.
A couple minutes later and a brick house of a man with medium brown skin, a shaved head, and thick dark eyebrows stood in the doorway, an eight year old girl hiding nervously behind his leg. He held out a hand to shake.
"Mateo. Good to meetcha." Robert grabbed the hand and was instantly glad the man's grip was just firm, not turning the handshake into a pissing contest. "Mina, say hi."
The young girl with her dark hair in a single long braid down her back looked up at Robert with wide, brown eyes. "Are you uncle's boyfriend?"
Robert cleared his throat. "Uh yeah. That's me."
"Are you gonna stab him?"
"Jesus Christ." He mumbled. "Uh, no. That's not currently the plan."
She nodded like a wise sage. "Okay. Do you like video games?"
"I haven't really played any since I was a kid so--"
She gasped. "You need to come over." She declared firmly. Clearly she was going to inherit the family stubbornness as well.
Laila clapped him on the shoulder. "We'd love to have you. For dinner, if not for a video game history lesson."
"I'd like that." Robert said softly, meaning it sincerely. He could suddenly really envision being a part of this family.
"Just don't expect her cooking to be as good as mine." Flambae grinned.
She shot him a middle finger, but couldn't argue against that.
"You can even leave his ungrateful ass at home if you want. Mina come, we're heading out."
Mina had quickly completely ignored the adults in favor of walking into the apartment and scratching Beef's belly. "Awww." She whined.
"You'll get plenty of chances to pet him. Right now it's past your bedtime."
She pouted but obeyed, scrambling back behind her father. She waved frenetically at Robert as a goodbye and he waved back.
When the door closed behind them, Robert finally let out a deep breath. "That went we-- mmph."
Flambae pulled him roughly into a kiss, stealing Robert's breath like he needed the air to feed his flames.
"I really think you're fucking it for me." He whispered against Robert's lips, only pulling away barely enough to get the words out before diving back in. They left the mess to clean up in the morning as they tumbled into bed—their bed, that they shared—lazily making out and groping whatever they could reach until Flambae fell asleep first in Robert's arms. Robert pressed his nose into Flambae's hair, breathing in the scent of smoke mixed with his shampoo.
"You're it for me too."