Work Text:
“Dear Fabian Seacaster and Riz Gukgak—My dearest friends on the Celestine Sea!”
“Are we really his dearest friends?” Riz raises an eyebrow. “We see Dr. Sagehelm, like, once a year.”
Fabian grimaces, guilt passing over his features as he fingers the side of the thick parchment. “Maybe we should send a few more holiday cards.”
“Hey, it’s not our fault if he decided we’re friends when we’re not. I’m not paying for the postage just because he’s imprinted on us,” Riz laughs. “Besides, he’s not the only one to think we’re the greatest pirates on the Celestine Sea.”
Fabian smirks. “Is that what he said?”
“It’s what I heard,” Riz laughs. “Sorry, sorry, go on.”
“I have incredible news for the two of you. I’ve completed my life’s work! You remember, don’t you, each of my creations? Well, this is no Vault, nor is it a simple memory delver—though I’ve finally got that creation up and running if you’d like to give it a spin!”
Riz’s mind races in the same way it did the first time he saw Dr. Sagehelm’s memory delver. If there’s anything from his past that he wishes he could return to, it would be the blurry memories he has of his father. Sure, he sees him in Bytopia every once in a while these days but those childhood memories grow further and further away, becoming distant and hazy as the years pass. He’d give anything to return to them and remember what his father was like when Riz was just a boy.
But it sounds like Dr. Sagehelm has something much bigger planned for Fabian and himself.
“You remember the not-yet-named time travel device that you tested for me two years ago? Tested for him. That’s a generous way of putting it.”
Riz chuckles, remembering the way that Sagehelm flung Riz and Fabian back in time without giving them a word of warning two years ago. In the end, things worked out for the best but Riz remembers how worried he was about screwing things up for the past version of himself. He vowed to never time travel again after that day. Then again, he knows that things don’t always go as he plans. He’s more aware of that than ever after his four years at sea.
“And surely you remember the Possibility Exploration Apparatus. That was the one that showed you another timeline, right?”
“Yeah,” Riz thinks back to that journey fondly, being able to peek into an alternate universe where that version of Riz and Fabian needed just a little push to find one another. His heart still warms with the thought that he was able to do something good for them, to bring them together. “I remember.”
“Well, what if I told you that I combined the two? Possibilities? No: certainties. With a side of forward time travel, of course. I can show you your future. I can let you live in that future temporarily and feel all that it has to offer. It’s tempting, isn’t it? Seeing what might come to be?”
“Oh, gods,” Riz remarks. “He’s off the rails again.”
“Hm?”
“I mean, who would want to see that? Who would want to know what’s to come?”
Fabian tilts his head to the side, lowering the letter by his side. “I thought you would be the first to take that offer.”
“Why?” Riz screws up his face. “I don’t want to know how shitty my life gets in, what, like, twenty, thirty years? I rather live in blissful ignorance in this case.”
“Well, what if it doesn’t get shitty?” Fabian asks, a smile creeping in the corner of his lips. “What if it’s great? Wouldn’t you want that reassurance that you’re on the right path? When things go wrong you can think, yeah, it’s tough now but it’s okay because I’ll get to the good soon enough. Besides, you’re the one who’s always craving knowledge.” Fabian nudges Riz’s side. “I thought you’d be tempted at best and leaping into the machine head first at worst.”
Riz scoffs out a laugh. “It’s not worth the risk. If there’s a chance that it’s bad, I don’t want to see it.”
Fabian frowns, studying Riz in a way that makes him feel like a bug under a microscope. Riz looks down at his hands, wondering if Fabian was able to find something behind his eyes, a confession that he isn’t even aware he made.
“The Ball—”
Riz cuts Fabian off. “What does the rest of the letter say?”
Half a sigh, half a laugh escapes Fabian’s lips, drawing Riz’s attention back to his face. “More of the same, I suppose,” he says, scanning the page. “Come to Sagehelm Isle at your earliest convenience in order to test the device. And happy Moonar Yulenear. And tell no one of the contents of this letter. Nothing else about the device. Well, except its name. Eyes to the Future.”
“Damn. That’s a sick name,” Riz admits.
“Sick enough to tempt you into trying it out?”
“Hell no.”
“Shame,” Fabian remarks, tapping his fingers on his thigh. “Because I’m going to.”
“Are you serious? No way, dude; you actually want to know your future?”
“Desperately, The Ball.”
Riz blanches, his heart rate suddenly ratcheting up, though he’s not entirely sure why. The fear of the unknown, the fear of someone else knowing the unknown when he doesn’t, and the fear of what he might know because someone else knows the unknown that he doesn’t know, perhaps. Or maybe something even more complicated than that. “What if it’s bad?” he finally chokes out.
“Then I do everything in my power to change it.”
Riz rolls his eyes. “He didn’t say he could show us a future. He said he’d show us the future. A certainty, remember? As in: cannot be changed. Doesn’t that terrify you?”
Fabian shrugs. “I’m not concerned. I’m more powerful than something silly like fate.”
“You can’t duel your way out of your destiny.”
“Try me.” Fabian grins, sharp and confident. He blinks and his face slips into something warmer, more personal. “I’d like to try it, The Ball. You wouldn’t stop me, would you?”
“I’d never want to control you, Fabian. I know that’s a losing battle,” Riz shakes his head lightly. “But… but you have to do me a favor. Please?”
“Anything and always.”
A warmth blooms in Riz’s chest at Fabian’s declaration but Riz doesn’t stop to luxuriate in the comfort. It’s not an uncommon feeling these days, anyway. Fabian has a way of inspiring that warmth, time after time, year after year. “You have to tell me that it’s good.”
“What do you mean?”
“Whatever you see, you have to convince me that you saw something good. I’ll think you’re lying, I’m sure, but you have to do what it takes to convince me because if you come out of the device looking depressed, I’m gonna freak out and know that our future is bad and I’ll have to go in to see it for myself.”
Fabian echoes a word under his breath. “Our.”
“What?”
“Sorry, sorry,” Fabian fights back a smile. “Just… our future, you said.”
“Well,” Riz’s face burns with blood, his cheeks turning ruddy and hot, “obviously.” He tries to channel the way that Fabian is able to make these declarations to him without blinking but he’s not sure how convincing he sounds. It’s new to him, talking about his future with someone, but he supposes if he can’t do it with his husband, who else would there be? “Our future,” he repeats. “Is that… uh, do you, um—is that okay?”
Fabian’s face explodes into a grin. “The Ball, if I see anything but our future in that device, I’ll be inconsolable.”
“Stop it,” Riz complains, shoving at Fabian’s chest. “You can’t; I’m serious. You need to convince me that it’s going to be okay, no matter what you see. Please, Fabian.”
Fabian’s face becomes solemn like an oath. “I promise, The Ball. Of course.”
“Good.” Riz chews on his bottom lip. “Then I suppose it’s time to set sail for Sagehelm Isle?”
Fabian salutes. “Aye, aye, captain.”
Riz laughs and shoves at him again, pushing him bodily out of their quarters and onto the ship’s deck. “I don’t claim that title, captain. It’s all yours.”
“What’s mine is yours.”
Riz rolls his eyes. “When did you get so sappy?”
“It’s still the holiday season and I’m about to see the future. Who could blame me for being in a good mood?”
Riz risks a small smile, meeting Fabian’s own. He finds his happiness intoxicating, as usual. It’s hard to resist falling into line with Fabian’s mood when he’s such a contagious person. Riz doesn’t know how he ever resists it, besides the fact that they’re so good at butting heads with each other. Still, in this instance, he feels no need to push against the joy rolling off Fabian in waves. “You,” he says, pointing a finger at his chest. “You, Fabian Aramais Seacaster—”
“Yes?”
“You.” Riz shakes his head. “I don’t know what to do with you.”
“Keep me around?” Fabian suggests, grinning boyishly. “That’s all I can ask for.”
Riz scurries up the rigging to hide his red cheeks. He doesn’t know how Fabian does it, how he makes Riz’s chest hot and his face hotter. “Get to the wheel, captain,” he calls down from the mast’s yard. “We’ve got a future to see.”
Fabian salutes him one more time but there’s something else in his eye, not the unserious, teasing look from before. Something much more loyal and intense.
Riz thinks he has a name for it, though he’s scared to even think it. He takes the word, ties it up in brown paper and a red ribbon, and shoves it to the back of his mind to unpack later. He’ll face it soon enough.
“My friends!” Dr. Sagehelm waves down Fabian and Riz from the front step of his exceptional glass laboratory, standing in fierce incongruity from the paradisical, tropical island that encroaches around its walls, tall palms leaning over its windows and white sand covering its front step. “Welcome back to Sagehelm Isle.”
“It’s good to be back,” Fabian calls out in response, bounding forward to shake Sagehelm’s hand. “Nice to see you again, doctor.”
“The pleasure’s all mine.” He shakes their hands and nods his welcome to Fabian and Riz, gesturing inside. “Please, please, step out of the hot sun and enjoy the luxury of the most modern air conditioning you’ll ever feel.”
Riz shakes his head, chuckling under his breath. Air conditioning on a remote island is, of course, an accomplishment, but Sagehelm talks about it with the same level of excitement as he does his time machines. He seems to find equal amounts of joy in all technological advancements, mundane or marvelous. “Hello, doctor.”
“Riz Gukgak, my dear friend. It’s been too long.”
“I don’t know if I can handle your antics more than once a year,” Riz jokes, earning a self-satisfied laugh from Sagehelm. He leads Riz and Fabian down the long, white hallways of his laboratory past rooms encased in glass walls, showing off machines, diagrams, and devices galore. Riz tries not to let himself get distracted but it’s near impossible with the wide array of visual stimulation coaxing his attention away from the doctor.
“Oh, there’s no need to worry about antics today. In fact, the Eyes to the Future have already been tested on multiple subj—willing participants. There will be no accidents this time around, just a simple trip forward, a glimpse of your future. I understand why you rushed here so quickly after receiving my letter. How could you resist seeing how your life will play out?”
“Well, actually,” Riz jumps in, “I’d rather not participate this time around.”
“I’m sorry?” Sagehelm’s face falls as if Riz just personally insulted him or, perhaps, his mother. “You won’t participate? What do you mean?”
“I’m not interested. The Eyes of the Future… they’re not for me. I don’t mean you any offense, doctor, it’s just—”
Sagehelm skids to a stop, whipping around to pin Riz in place with his intense gaze. “The future, Riz Gukgak! You can see what your life will become!”
Riz takes a step back, shocked by the wild look in Sagehelm’s eyes. Fabian adjusts, subtly stepping between the two. Riz flounders, raising his hands in submission. “It sounds incredibly interesting, Dr. Sagehelm, I’m not denying that. But I’d rather not know.”
Sagehelm’s mouth hangs half open. “I don’t understand.”
Riz shrugs. “I’m sorry?”
Breaking the stand-off, Fabian clears his throat. “I, personally, am desperately excited to see what the future has in store for me,” he says, graciously moving the conversation away from Riz’s misstep. “Why don’t you show us how the machine works?”
Sagehelm pauses, closes his mouth, takes a deep breath in, and then forces a tight smile onto his face. “Of course,” he says. “Where do I begin? Hm.” He steps through the threshold of the last lab at the end of the hallway and beckons for the others to join him inside. The room is plain and near empty, with the exception of a shower stall in the corner, an almost-bare desk pressed up against the front wall, and a cot in the center of the room. Everything is bright white and sterile, lit by fluorescent lights that inspire an ache in Riz’ head.
“Not much to it, it seems,” Fabian says.
“Smaller than the last time machine of mine that you’ve seen, yes.” Sagehelm reaches for a circlet on the desk, no larger than a king’s crown, covered in metal plates, bright buttons, and short wires, connecting piece to piece. “But effective all the same.”
“I wear the circlet and, what, teleport to the future? Just like that?”
“Not quite. It’s not a physical teleportation but, rather, a metapsychological one. You are entering the brain of your future self and you are taken for a ride in their psyche. Similar to the Possibility Exploration Apparatus but in this case, it is not a hypothetical universe. It’s the future, plain and simple. There’s no ripcord and no way to make any changes while you’re there, understand?”
“Yes, sir,” Fabian says. “Just a viewing window into the future, I understand.”
“Good, good. It’ll be twenty-four hours in that time before you are restabilized in the present moment as if no time has passed at all.”
Riz hums under his breath. This machine really is the perfect mix of the Possibility Exploration Apparatus and the time machine that they used a few years back. Hitching a ride in a different version of yourself? Exploring another time? Days passing in that world in a present instant? It’s like Dr. Sagehelm combined every little thing that worked about his previous inventions and perfected them. It almost has Riz tempted to try the machine for himself but then he remembers how shattered he’ll be if he sees a future he’s not happy with and that straightens him out quickly.
“Any side effects?” Fabian asks, reaching for the circlet. Sagehelm passes it to him and Fabian takes the chance to turn it in his hands, studying it closer.
“The usual. Nausea, dizziness, sore muscles, fever, chills, increased heart rate, headache, blurry vision, reduced bone density, st—”
“Oh, is that all?” Riz asks, mouth falling open. “You said it was tested!”
“You should’ve seen it before the tests.” Sagehelm shrugs. “This is a significant improvement from the alpha; I’ll tell you that much for free.”
Riz’s jaw clenches against his will as he remembers why he isn’t able to stand these visits with Sagehelm any more than once a year. For all of his extraordinary talents, for all his genius, he often seems to lack a sense of basic human decency and concern for others.
“I’ll do it,” Fabian declares. “It’s worth it. To me.”
“Fabian.” Riz’s voice is a warning and plea wrapped together.
“You’d never want to control me, remember?” Fabian smirks at Riz. “Your words, not mine.”
“I don’t. I just want you to think about this, you know, carefully.”
Fabian nods, not rushing his response. That’s not something he’s always been able to do, to take his time. Riz can appreciate it for what it is: growth. In his younger years, Fabian was always quick to leap off cliffs. He would make declarations without a second thought. Lately, though, he’s been more willing to hear someone else out, to take their perspective into account. Even if he doesn’t agree with them, Riz still appreciates the fact that he takes the moment to hear their point of view.
Especially when it’s his own.
The moment passes, though, and the fire in Fabian’s eye persists. “I have to, The Ball.”
“I get it. I think.”
“Forgive me?”
“Nothing to forgive,” Riz offers him the closest approximation to an encouraging smile that he can muster. “Tell me what it’s like, okay?” Riz begs Fabian to remember what he’s really asking. Tell me that it’s good, no matter what. Tell me that I don’t have to be afraid.
Fabian nods, smiling with some degree of sadness behind his eye. He sucks in a breath, shallow and shaky. “I’m ready,” he tells Sagehelm. “What do I do?”
“There’s a robe in the stall; go ahead and get cleaned up. Wash off anything of this time from your body. Remove all your jewelry, your perfumes, your lotions, your clothing. Anything that ties you to the present moment.
Fabian nods tightly, his fingers immediately going to the ring finger on his left hand. “Keep it safe for me?” he whispers to Riz, slipping off his wedding band. “I expect it back.”
Riz cradles the ring in his hands carefully, feeling the weight of all it stands for. “Trusting a rogue with a diamond?”
“Trusting you with it. That’s very different.”
Riz ducks his head down, hiding his face as it burns. “Hit the showers,” he retorts. “You… you—”
“Yeah, yeah,” Fabian shakes his head, stripping off his jacket on his way to the stall. He leaves a trail of laughter behind him, a smile evident in the sound.
Riz turns to Sagehelm, forcing a placid expression on his face. “Can the future be changed?” he whispers, suddenly desperate for the answer.
“I suppose there’s no way of knowing.” Sagehelm smiles brightly. “Unless, of course, you were to see it for yourself.”
“Not a helpful answer.” Riz groans. “What about… ugh. How far ahead are you sending him?”
“I suppose that’s up to Fabian. The machine has the capability of 100 years and it works better the further you go but… Well…” He presses his lips together tightly, seeming hesitant to speak whatever lies on the tip of his tongue. “I understand if he would not want to see a future without you in it.”
“Ah.” Riz almost laughs before he can stifle the instinct. Last year, Fabian shared his lifespan with Riz, granting them an equal number of years. They agreed to keep it a secret from everyone, no matter what may come up that might tempt them to spill. “Forty years, then.”
“You’ll—I mean, um… Goblins, they—”
“Live that long, yes,” Riz says, only bluffing slightly. In reality, should he have not split his lifespan with Fabian, he’d be dead in thirty-five years at most. But something nostalgic in him wants to see what forty years might look like. They’ve spent four at sea. What if he multiplied that by ten? Would they still be on the sea, preparing to sail into their last years like the Prince and the Princess of the Celestine Sea once did? “Forty sounds good to me.”
“Will Fabian have any complaints?” Sagehelm asks.
Riz smiles, shaking his head. “He trusts my instincts.”
“Then I believe it is time to begin.” Sagehelm spins a few dials on the circlet, toggling buttons, and rearranging wires. The circlet begins to glow with a dim, incandescent light, orange and warm like the Moonar Yulenear lights that Riz used to hang in his apartment with his parents. “Fabian?”
The shower curtain opens and Fabian appears, dressed in a thin, white robe made of a gauzy material. “I won’t be naked during the process, right?”
“No, no, that gown is designed specifically to travel through time, no need to worry. Go on, now. Lay back.” Sagehelm gestures to the cot. He crosses there himself, meeting Fabian halfway and lowering the circlet onto the crown of his head. He presses a button on the side that begins to beep, low and slow. The beeps speed up as Fabian settles himself in the cot. “Thirty more seconds.”
“And you said it’ll be an instant for you two?”
“Yes, it’ll appear as no more than a blink.”
“But I’ll spend twenty-four hours there?” A smile fights its way onto Fabian’s face, eager excitement to explore the future, Riz is sure. “That’s quite a long time.”
“You’ll be surprised at how fast it passes. Twenty seconds.”
Fabian nods and lets his eye fall shut. “I’m tired. Am I supposed to be tired?”
Sagehelm’s face morphs into an encouraging smile. “That’s just a sign of your psyche setting itself in the metapsychological slingshot and pulling back. You’ll be flung from it in just a few seconds, sent forty years in the future.”
“Forty years, hm?” Fabian hums under his breath, his face going slack. “I can’t… wait… to see—”
His mouth slackens, the last word coming out as no more than a sigh. Riz holds his breath, waiting for Fabian’s eye to spring open again. He wants to see a bright smile on his face, something encouraging and warm enough to reassure Riz that everything’s going to be okay.
But his eye stays closed.
“Sagehelm?” Riz whispers desperately. “Why isn’t he awake?”
“Take a breath, my friend. He… Well, he should be back by now.”
“Every time,” Riz mutters bitterly. “Every single time, I trust you. And why? Why do I keep doing it? Why in the worl—”
Fabian’s eye flies open as he jolts upright, his feet planted on the tile floor in an instant. His face explodes into a bright smile and he lurches up, flinging himself at Riz. If it were anyone else charging at him, Riz would fall into a combat stance, preparing to defend himself against the attacker. In Fabian’s case, though, Riz’s muscles barely tense, giving in to whatever he has planned.
Which is, apparently, scooping Riz up and spinning him in a circle, arms tucked under Riz’s armpits and clasped behind his back. Fabian laughs brightly as he turns, as joyful as Riz has ever heard him. “Oh, The Ball.” He squeezes him tightly, squeezes the breath out of Riz’s lungs. “You have to see it for yourself.”
“Another successful test!” Sagehelm exclaims. “Oh, how good to hear.” He joins in the bright laughter as Fabian lowers Riz to the ground.
Fabian grabs Riz’s hands and squeezes them in his. He brushes his thumbs across the back of his hands before pressing a kiss to them, something so featherlight and quick that Riz could convince himself that he imagined it. “I can’t put it into words but, gods, Riz. It’s amazing.”
“You’re not just saying that?” Riz whispers, begging to be convinced of Fabian’s lie. He didn’t think Fabian would be so over the top with his delivery but it’s Fabian. He should’ve guessed. “You’re not lying just because I told you to, right?”
Fabian laughs, his smile still splitting his face. “Do I look like I’m lying?”
He doesn’t. Riz hadn’t even considered the possibility that Fabian would actually have good news to share after seeing the future but, nonetheless, that’s what he’s presented with. “Are you sure?” he chokes out. “You’re serious?”
“See it for yourself,” Fabian insists. “You’ll… The Ball, you’re so happy.”
“In the future?”
Fabian’s eye softens, warm and fathoms deep. “Yeah. I swear.” He reaches up, removing the circlet from his head carefully and offering it to Riz. “I won’t make you, I won’t even try to convince you any more than I already have but… I know you’ll like what you see.”
Riz’s hands shake as he takes the circlet, feeling its weight. The tremble in his limbs is just as present in his heartbeat, shaky and off rhythm. “This isn’t just a ploy to get me to believe you? A bluff because you know I’d never take it?”
“You know that I’m not good enough at lying to pull that off, The Ball,” Fabian laughs. “What do you say?”
Riz turns back, glancing at Sagehelm. He offers Riz a casual grin and a shrug. “I think the words of the one who traveled through time would mean more to you than anything I could say. But do decide quickly; this room absolutely burns through energy and all the solar panels on the island are not enough to maintain it for much longer.”
Riz drums his fingers on the circlet, his mind racing through possibilities. What if he sees something horrifying? What if he sees something perfect? What if the future can be changed? What if it can’t?
“The Ball?”
Riz sucks in a breath. “I’m scared,” he admits.
“I swear on everything that you don’t have to be. Trust me. You know you can.”
And those words are enough for him. Of course he trusts Fabian. He has since their first year of high school. Trusted him with his life. And ever since their first year at sea, Riz has trusted him with his heart, too. He trusts him with everything. It’s as easy as breathing and comes just as naturally.
Riz nods tightly. “Okay. Okay! I’ll do it.” He drags Fabian into the shower stall and strips, exchanging his clothes for the robe and watching Fabian don his own. Once he’s dressed, Riz takes a deep breath and slips each ring off his fingers, saving the most important for last.
“Keep it safe for me, alright?” Riz asks with a crooked smile, adrenaline fueling it. “I expect it back.”
“Trusting a pirate with a diamond?” Fabian asks, playing his role.
“Trusting you,” Riz whispers, the words feeling like an oath and a confession all at once. “Don’t prove me wrong.”
Fabian nods, eschewing words. Riz doesn’t need to hear them, not anymore. He understands Fabian perfectly anyway.
They emerge from the stall, Riz wearing the robe and circlet, Fabian wearing eager hope on his face. “Are you ready, my friend?” Sagehelm asks. “You know the preparation.”
Riz can hardly take in the process and Sagehelm fiddles with the circlet and lays him down on the cot. He begins to feel tired, so tired. His eyes drift shut as Sagehlem declares just a few seconds remaining.
“Tell me it’s going to be okay,” Riz whispers with his last breath in the present time.
“More than okay,” Fabian replies.
The slingshot fires.
Riz wakes up with a headache which is just about what he expected. Who knew that imbibing late into the night would have consequences? It’s a lesson he should’ve learned twenty, thirty years ago at minimum but, for as intelligent as he is, he sometimes finds himself lacking in wisdom. It’s nothing a cup of coffee can’t fix so he rolls over in bed, escaping out from under Fabian’s warm arm, and flipping the covers off his body.
Fabian groans as the blast of cold air hits his body. “The Ball,” he complains, “for a rogue, you really ought to learn how to sneak out of bed with a little more care.”
“If I did, you’d never wake up.”
Fabian snorts, burying his face in Riz’s pillow and burrowing deeper under the blankets. He mumbles something, a frustrated noise, that makes Riz laugh. He crosses to their armoire and changes quickly, before the cold air can set in on his bare skin. His rings make their home on his fingers and he wraps two necklaces around his throat, tucking the pendants under his shirt. The silver chain is new, something that the crew bought him for his most recent birthday, sixty-eight and as young as he’s ever felt. The golden locket, however, he’s been wearing for forty-one years, ever since Fabian gifted it to him.
He tries not to think back to the reason why Fabian bought them the matching pendants. False hydras have a way of inspiring trauma in their victims and Fabian insisted that they always wear these fragments of each other around their necks from that day onwards. A photo, a fingerprint, and a drop of blood are sealed inside the locket and the gentle weight of all that it holds brings Riz a certain type of reassurance that no words could ever hope to achieve.
He catches a glimpse of himself in the mirror over Fabian’s desk and smiles absently. For someone who should be dead by now, he barely looks a day over thirty. Every day that he’s lived past his 60th birthday, he’s been grateful for the extra time. It feels like a bonus, something he never thought he’d have, so he knows he can’t waste it. With this extra time, he’s determined to do some good.
Lucky for him, he has a great partner in that work. Even if he has a habit of sleeping in past when the day is meant to begin.
“Fabian,” Riz calls out. “If you don’t get out of bed, I’m going to drink cup after cup of coffee until you make your way to the mess hall.”
Fabian jolts upright, hair disheveled and eye half open. “You swore you’d limit yourself to two cups per day.”
“And you swore you wouldn’t sleep in on the first day of lessons.”
Fabian scrubs at his face with the back of his hand. “Is that today?”
Riz snorts. “Come on, man. It’s the same day every year. One year you’ll remember.”
“I can’t be expected to remember that.” Fabian swings his legs out of bed and pulls on a pair of tall boots directly over his soft, linen pants. “We’ve only done it—”
“Twelve times?” Riz smirks. “Come on, man.”
“Has it really been twelve?” Fabian smiles softly. “Wow.”
“And it won’t be thirteen if you don’t get your ass moving. Do you want the crew to doubt their captain on the first day?”
Fabian flashes a charming smile and swings his hair over his shoulder. “They’ll see me and worship me in a matter of minutes. Just you watch.”
“I see it every year.” Riz is surprised by the sincerity of his words. It’s true. The new crew members imprint on Fabian instantly, each and every year, in no time at all. They take a little longer to warm up to Riz but Fabian reminds him that just because he’s prickly, that doesn’t mean he’s a bad teacher.
Riz argues that he’s not ‘prickly,’ just not oozing with charisma like some members of the crew.
“Well, what are you waiting for?” Fabian asks. “I need a cup of something warm and half an orange at minimum before I’m functional enough for the lessons.”
Riz laughs. “You’re in your pajamas, Fabian.”
“And yet, I’ve got every member of this crew outdressed all the same.”
Riz just rolls his eyes, fighting the fond smile that threatens to creep onto his face.
“Listen up, rapscallions!” Fabian calls out, stamping his foot onto the wooden boards of the upper deck.
“You’re not rapscallions,” Riz quickly corrects. “You’re just… green. For now.”
“But you won’t be for long if you follow our rules!”
“And if you find which rules are made for breaking,” Riz adds. He climbs the rigging quickly, settling himself onto the lowest yard. “Be very careful making that distinction.”
“Or, be bold,” Fabian suggests. “Ask for forgiveness, not permission!”
Riz rolls his eyes. “Is that all clear?” he asks the sea of teenagers, brand new to a pirate’s life and looking for their first ship to call home. Their faces are young and innocent, scared and hopeful. There isn’t a wrinkle amongst them, the oldest of the lot not even eighteen.
“No?” a brave soul responds, his voice shaky. “Do we break the rules or follow them?”
“That is the question!” Fabian exclaims, clapping his hands together.
Riz hears one of the teenagers whisper to another, “Well, what’s the answer?” but their neighbor has no response for them.
The first day of lessons on the Hangman V has always been a busy day. That being said, it’s also one of Riz’s favorite days of the year. They ring in the new year with a new beginning for eleven lucky students who earned themselves a spot on their ship. Fabian calls it a school but Riz doesn’t think that word fits, not quite. It’s a pirate ship, just like it’s always been. It’s just also an opportunity to learn. And these eleven students of theirs, they’re ready to learn what life is like at sea. Fabian is careful when he chooses the roster.
The crew is exclusive and under high demand now that they’ve had time to make a name for themselves, but Fabian doesn’t go with the students with the highest bids. In fact, he refuses to take money from their students at all, preferring to choose those who have nowhere else to go: those who are desperate for a place to call home and a mentor to learn from.
They don’t need the money, anyway. After a lucky—or, rather, incredibly well-planned— heist twenty years ago, and some careful financial planning, the crew of the Hangman will never have to worry about money again. Every member of the crew who remains on board does so out of their own free will, working because they want to, not because they have to.
“My name is Fabian Aramais Seacaster and I’ll be the number-one person you’ll learn from in these next nine months.”
“I’m Riz,” Riz jumps in, “and he’s lying.”
“Just lubricating the truth,” Fabian says, throwing Riz a grin. “Fine, fine, I’m not quite in charge of the eleven of you but I am in charge of the ship. The captain of the Hangman V, at your service. And the vice principal of the school.”
“We don’t run a school, Fabian.” Riz rolls his eyes. “Listen, I know that half of you will be too terrified to approach either of us but if problems come up, you’ll need to let at least one of us know. Whoever you’re less scared of, I suppose.”
“If you’re vice principal, is Riz the principal?” A young girl with freckles and red hair squeaks the question from the back row of students. Her cheeks burn with blood as soon as she speaks, the nerves evident on her face.
Riz wishes he knew how to relieve the fear that these students feel but, for most of them, this is their first day on a real pirate ship. Then, they’re confronted with two of the most famous pirates on the Celestine Sea, making jokes and taking cracks at one another. Who wouldn’t be overwhelmed? “No, I’m co-vice principal. Here comes the principal, though.” Riz gestures for a friendly face to join himself and Fabian.
“Ioan!” Fabian calls out. “You’re late, kid.”
“Apologies, Captain Seacaster, sir.” Ioan’s face has changed in the forty-two years that Riz has known him. He’s grown into his features, no longer the lanky child that he once knew him to be. Even so, his manners have never changed. “Good morning, Mister Gukgak, sir.”
“The man in charge, everyone. The one and only Ioan Dragos,” Fabian introduces him with a flourish. “And the person you should come to with complaints about The Ball and myself.”
“He said the thing,” a student whispers. “The Ball!”
Riz laughs under his breath, stifling his smile behind his hand. “Today’s going to be an easy day,” he says. “A tour of the ship, a lesson on the sails, and a pop quiz-made-contest with an amazing prize for the person who remembers the most ship terminology. Any complaints yet?”
“When does the action start?” The words come from a teenage boy whose voice has not yet dropped.
“How old are you, kid?” Riz asks, narrowing his eyes.
“Fifteen.”
“Fourteen, then. Don’t lie to me again unless you’re saving a life, do you understand?” Riz knows that early on, he needs to set boundaries for these children, not just for his own sake but for theirs. He knows what it’s like to thrive under a set of rules and expectations. He knows that, even in the life of a pirate, they need to learn that there are things they must or mustn’t do. Some rules of life must still be followed.
The fourteen year-old nods quickly. “Yes, sir. Sorry, sir.”
Riz laughs. “You don’t have to do all that. My name’s Riz, remember? Unless your name is Fabian and then I’m called something else. Still. Somehow.” He turns to Fabian and offers him half-a-smile. “I thought you might’ve dropped it by now, but—”
“Never, The Ball.” Fabian’s eye radiates with warmth. “You know, we never changed our last names after our wedding but if we do go through with it, legally, I mean, you can always change your first name, too.”
Riz laughs. “Sure, as soon as you change your last name to Gukgak.”
Fabian raises an eyebrow. “Do you want me to?”
Riz is suddenly hyper-aware of their audience. He turns back to the students, his cheeks warm, and flashes them a smile. “Ioan’s going to take you on the tour. And I don’t need to remind you to behave, do I? You’re all aware of the waitlist a mile long for this program. You’re all replaceable, understand?”
“Yes, sir,” a chorus of voices sing in unison.
Riz nods tightly, hiding the lie well. In thirteen years, they’ve never once kicked a student out of the program. Even the most difficult kids that Riz has ever had the pleasure of meeting, he and Fabian do not give up on them. It’s one of the tenets that they refuse to compromise on when it comes to their students. Even if someone is falling behind, even if they have behavioral issues, even if they seem overwhelmed and afraid, he and Riz take their hands and carry them as far as they can.
There’s nothing more satisfying than seeing those students’ faces in nine months time, beaming with pride at the graduation ceremony, ready to start their life on another ship as a deckhand, cannoneer, medic, or anything they so desire.
“On your way, then,” Fabian remarks, waving the kids away. “We’ll see you at sunset for dinner.”
“Yes, captain,” one voice, perky and bright, chirps.
“Oh, I like her,” Fabian whispers to Riz who leaps down from the yard, landing beside Fabian. “Teacher’s pet, right there.”
“Who likes a teacher’s pet?” Riz asks.
Fabian raises a single eyebrow. “The Ball…”
“Oh. Yeah.” He laughs, having forgotten himself for a moment. Of course Fabian likes a teacher’s pet; he likes Riz after all. “Well, I hope she’ll take to the parts of the job that don’t involve sucking up to the captain.”
“You never had a problem with that.”
“My captain was just so easy to make fun of,” Riz remarks, smirking devilishly. “I would’ve been remiss to treat him nicely.”
Fabian rolls his eye and places a hand on Riz’s shoulder. “You—”
“Come on, we’ve got maps to study. The waters are dangerous out here, you know.”
“Oh, don’t speak that into the universe, The Ball. It’s the first day of lessons. It’ll be a perfect day, just you watch.”
Riz narrows his eyes as he sees a ship approaching from the north. “You had to say that, didn’t you?”
Fabian flips around, spotting the same ship. He pulls a looking glass from his pocket and peers at it. “Dark blue flag with… some white pattern on its edges. Do we know the ship?” His voice morphs into that of a captain’s, loud and authoritative. “The Ball?”
“We do,” he says. “It’s the Stormwraith.”
The fight is bloody. Of course it is, the captain has a vendetta, after all.
Captain Eren Albberts was once the captain of the Stormwraith but he died at sea, not-so-tragically, fifteen years ago and his daughter had taken up the mantle of the Stormwraith. She was built of vengeance and fury. Riz had never had the pleasure of meeting her but the stories were enough to worry him, especially considering the fact that she seemed to be going on a revenge quest for her father and Riz was surely on the list of victims.
It was forty-four years ago now, one of Riz’s first real adventures after becoming a pirate. He was kidnapped by Captain Albberts and taken aboard the Stormwraith. Tied up and tortured, Riz had been alone, separated from the crew of the Hangman—the Hangman III, at the time. It was his first time after taking to sea that he was ripped away from Fabian and the concussion kept him from worrying too much about it but, in retrospect, Riz would’ve understood if he were terrified. He came to the Celestine Sea for Fabian after all.
Just a few months after he joined the crew, they were torn away from each other. Riz’s body was next, torn apart by the first mate’s sharp knives. When Fabian burned a path through the ship and appeared in the Stormwraith’s brig, looking brave and afraid all at once, Riz knew something for certain, even through the haze of his concussion. He will always come for me.
He hasn’t been proven wrong since.
It seems, however, that the new Captain Albberts, is also interested in coming for Riz, with bloodier intentions. She got lucky today, slicing his legs up and disabling his ability to run and hide during the fight but he hadn’t needed to on account of his avenging angel in the form of his own captain, diving in and finishing the fight. The young Captain Albberts fell, dead in a few swipes and a thrust of his blade. Fabian hadn’t waited for the body to fall before whipping around and helping Riz to his feet.
“You’re bleeding,” he said.
“You’re one to talk,” Riz retorted, gesturing to the bullet hole through Fabian’s left shoulder and the deep gash in his stomach.
The ship’s medic had been overrun with work to do in keeping each of the eleven students alive. Fabian told her that he’d be fine and Riz assured her the same thing. She narrowed her eyes just like Xabia used to when she was still alive, her daughter and her spitting image.
Riz drags Fabian by the hand to their quarters, eager to get out of the sight of the kids so he can fall into an injured heap in their bed and bleed in peace.
“That was our roughest first day yet.”
“I don’t know,” Riz says, hissing in pain as he peels the fabric of his clothing off his many wounds. “That first year was a mess.”
“We couldn’t expect to have things running perfectly on our first try.” Fabian sits next to Riz and helps him remove his shirt, clotted blood pulling at the fabric. “I think it worked out, anyway.”
Riz groans as he stares down at the crosshatched skin on his chest. “Gods, please tell me you have more than enough healing spells left for both of us.”
Fabian nods, pressing his lips together.
“You’re lying,” Riz accuses him. “Heal yourself first.”
“I’m not lying,” Fabian says, rushing to press his hands onto Riz’s skin and summoning his magic. Like rushing water, Riz feels the wave overtake him, washing him away. His tongue prickles with the taste of saltwater taffy and his nervous system sighs as the pain eases and the cuts knit themselves closed.
“You asshole,” Riz says, through a reflexive breath of relief. “You always do this.”
“And I always will.” Fabian smiles, sending one more swell of arcane recovery through Riz’s body, sealing up the cuts on his legs. Riz melts into the relief, sagging forward. It’s bliss and frustration in equal measures.
“Dick,” Riz accuses him halfheartedly.
“Ungrateful.”
“Twisting my words.”
“Use your words, then, The Ball. Go on; say it.”
Riz sighs and rolls his eyes, knocking Fabian over so that he’s laying back on the bed. “Thank you,” he enunciates. “Now stay still.”
He rips the cuff of his own sleeve open, pulling out a pre-threaded needle from its hiding place, and scoots up on the bed so that he can tend to Fabian’s bullethole. “The bullet went straight through,” Fabian says, letting his eye drift shut. “It’s clean.”
“Good. Stop talking if you want your stitches to look anywhere close to even.”
“I rather hear the sound of my own voice.”
Riz rolls his eyes. “Of course you would.” He pierces his skin, moving slowly and carefully and trying his best not to hear the short hisses of pain that Fabian lets out. He knows that Fabian wouldn’t show even a hint of pain if it were anyone else patching him up but he allows himself to be vulnerable like this around Riz in the same way that Riz does that same with him.
With forty years down and at least that many to go, he and Fabian have what feels like forever waiting for them. Every corner that Riz turns, there’s more and more to see, more and more life to live, more and more of Fabian to discover and explore. It’s something he never could’ve hoped for. He asks himself often how he got so lucky but Fabian assures him that he deserves the life he’s gotten.
And if there’s anything Riz can do in life, it’s trusting Fabian.
“You’re okay,” Riz mutters as he ties the knot on the end of the stitches. “Yeah?”
“Top of my game,” Fabian responds with a crooked grin. He loops his fingers around Riz’s upper arm and yanks him down to his side, laying pressed up against one another. Riz laughs as he rolls over and rests his head on Fabian’s arm. “Another first day down,” he says. “How many more to go?”
“As many as we can manage,” Riz says. “I’d never stop doing it if I could.”
“Me, too.” Fabian presses his lips against the top of Riz’s head, the easy exchange of affection coming as naturally and casually as the breaths that leave his lungs. “Let’s.”
“Let’s what?”
“Never stop.”
Riz can hear the grin in Fabian’s voice. He’s helpless to keep himself from smiling in return. In the past, at the sound of forever, he might’ve been scared. Today, though, he doesn’t ask if Fabian is sure. He doesn’t worry that he might change his mind one day and leave Riz behind him. He isn’t even concerned about the world tearing them apart because it has tried a hundred and one times and never succeeded.
They have forever and he knows that for a fact, as inarguable as the laws of nature.
It’s everything he could ever ask for and more than he could’ve ever expected.
Riz’s eyes threaten to water but he’s shocked back to attention, jolting upright at the sound of a crystal ringing. “Oh, shit!”
“Gorgug got it working?” Fabian asks, meaning that forced signal that he can send out to crystals outside of the range of any tower. “Who’s calling?” He sits up and lets Riz scramble for the crystal on his desk, carrying it back to his side.
“Gorgug.” Riz swipes the screen, answering the video call. They are greeted with four bright faces on the small screen: Gorgug’s weary grin, Fig’s bright wink, Kristen’s crooked smile, and Adaine’s amused expression. “Everyone!”
“Happy New Year, you two!” Fig calls out. “You didn’t call so we had to do it ourselves.”
“Calling is made slightly difficult when you’re in the middle of the Celestine Sea, remember?” Fabian laughs. “Just slightly.”
“Still, you could’ve sent a messenger pigeon,” Kristen suggests.
“I think you might’ve been waiting even longer for that.” Riz pulls his legs under him, sitting criss-crossed on the edge of the bed.
“What have you been up to?” Adaine asks. “Tell us everything.”
He studies their faces, afraid to see that some of them have changed in ways that he and Fabian haven’t. Kristen and Gorgug have lines by their eyes but just as much light and love on their faces as always. Riz can’t think too much about the white that streaks through both their hair without getting emotional so he banishes the thought, deciding to focus instead on the fact that he gets to see them at all.
“It’s the first day of lessons and the kids are doing swimmingly already, though there’s certainly been more bloodshed than usual.” Fabian gestures to the dark thread stitching his shoulder together. “You caught us patching each other up.”
“Is that what they call it now?” Kristen asks.
Riz scoffs out a laugh and rolls his eyes. “One day, you’ll stop making sex jokes.”
“Never ever,” she claims. “Watch me.”
Fig grins at the camera. “I really never would’ve thought that you two would end up with the most kids out of any of us.”
“They’re not ours,” Riz protests. “We see them for nine months before they leave the nest and brave the world on their own.”
“That’s how kids work, I think,” Adaine jokes, smirking. “Nine months and then the parenting ends, right?”
“No,” Gorgug says. “You babysit the little ones all the time, Adaine. You know that.”
She shrugs, appearing outwardly nonchalant but Riz knows how much she loves Gorgug’s grandkids. He does, too, the few chances he’s had to spend time with them. They’re hard not to love in the same way that his students grow on him throughout their nine months. He’s never wanted kids and still doesn’t, but his job, guiding and mentoring these teenagers for just a few brief months, is the perfect fit for him.
“How old are they, again?” Kristen asks.
“Usually fourteen.”
Fig hisses. “That’s so young.”
“We were that young when we started.” Riz glances at Fabian who nods in agreement. “Better someone looks out for them than no one. These kids are the ones who’d hop on a random pirate ship regardless of their training. The outcasts and the ne’er-do-wells. The ones that society has left behind.”
“The bad kids,” Kristen remarks, casting the room into silence for a moment before everyone’s faces split into grins and laughter. “What? Am I wrong?”
“You’re too right,” Fabian says. He turns to Riz. “Gods, it is, isn’t it? We’re taking care of the next generation of bad kids?”
Riz offers him a soft, private smile. “We are.”
Fabian matches him with the warmest look Riz has ever seen. “I like that.”
“Me, too.”
“Alright, keep the flirting in the bedroom,” Kristen interrupts.
“We’re literally in our bedroom, Kristen,” Riz says, knowing she’ll laugh that that is the part of her statement that he protested against. The laugh is bright, a peal of sunshine and golden light.
“What’s next for you two?” Adaine asks.
Riz hasn’t broken his eye contact with Fabian yet. He hasn’t felt the need to in this moment. Though he usually prefers to keep an eye on his surroundings, he’s never quite impervious to getting lost in Fabian’s silvered gaze. “What do you say, Fabian? How long will we be doing this?”
Fabian’s eye softens as he speaks his answer. “Forever.”
“You heard him,” Riz agrees, turning to the camera to hide from Fabian the burning warmth of his cheeks and the hot tears that threaten to fall from his lids. “Looks like it’ll be forever.”
“Any complaints with that, The Ball?”
Riz smiles. “Not one, captain. Forever it is.”
When Riz awakes in the laboratory, bare and white, he’s already crying.
“The Ball? What’s wrong? What… what did you see?”
Riz laughs through his tears, flooded with relief like it’s a drug coursing through his system. The lights seem brighter than they did when he went under, or maybe his eyes are just clearer. He can see every strand of hair that coils atop Fabian’s head. Each and every pore on Fabian’s face is suddenly visible to Riz. Each detail, so clear and apparent, like he’s been blind to not see it before.
But it’s not just the physical details. He sees the look on Fabian’s face—the worry and the love and the fear and the affection—and he finally decides to put a name to it. Unwrapping the word, removing the red ribbon and brown paper that he wrapped it in so carefully, he breathes it in. The look on Fabian’s face is simple. It’s just one word and yet it’s so much more than that.
It’s devotion.
“You were right,” Riz chokes out, letting Fabian wrap his arms around him. “I’m so happy.”
Fabian pulls apart, gripping Riz’s upper arms and studying his face. “You’re… you’re happy? Then, why are you crying, The Ball?”
Riz laughs again, wet and weak. “I don’t know.”
“You scared me,” Fabian laughs, wrapping Riz back up in his arms. “I thought… I thought I was wrong. I thought you didn’t want that future the same way I do.”
“Of course I do, Fabian.” Riz extricates himself from Fabian’s arms, letting their hands stay linked. “Don’t be stupid.”
“So it, uh… it sounds good to you?”
“It?”
Fabian takes a deep breath in. The world stops for a while as Riz matches his breath, waiting for the next moment in their lives to come to pass. He’d wait for as long as he needed to if it meant getting to the future that he saw.
Fabian’s lips twitch with the declaration. “Forever?”
“Yeah.” Another tear makes its way down Riz’s face, collecting on his cheek. “Yeah, that sounds good to me.”
The smile that grows on Fabian’s face could burn down the world and Riz wouldn’t notice, not while he’s smiling so widely in return. Under the circlet’s orange light, he can almost pretend that they’re standing under a warm sunset, with the rest of their lives waiting just ahead of them.
When he looks forward into that setting sun, Riz can’t lie. He likes what he sees.