Chapter Text
The sky outside was clear for the first time in weeks. The start of the year was usually dreary, grey, but it had been crystal clear blue all day.
Blue was now streaked with pink and orange as the sun sank lower towards the city skyline.
Clark stared out the window longingly. He was immune to the cold wind and rain they’d been having, but he was still eager to fly through the clear weather.
Maybe if they wrapped things up now, he’d get a chance to fly in the last few moments of sunlight.
“Clark? You seem distracted. Is there something you wanted to talk about?”
“Oh, I’m sorry, Dr. Bruin—I was just thinking about how nice it is outside today, and how I wanna go flying.”
Dr. Bruin didn’t seem annoyed that Clark was distracted and likely hadn’t heard whatever it was she’d been saying, she just smiled.
“It is too nice out for you to be stuck in here talking to me.”
“No, I didn’t mean it like that—” He started and she laughed.
“I like hearing that.” She said, turning to look outside. “I think it’s a good thing. You didn’t even write anything down that you wanted to talk about, did you?”
Clark reached into the inside of his jacket for his legal pad and flipped through the last few pages, only seeing notes a few weeks old.
“No.” He admitted.
Clark knew why his empty notebook was a small victory for the both of them.
It was such a contrast to the way Clark was when he first started therapy, six months ago.
Dr. Bruin was one of the few people who knew Clark’s identity as Superman. He still remembered their first session.
“You can’t repeat anything I tell you, right?” He’d asked.
“Of course not.” She’d answered. “Not until I believe you to be a danger to yourself or others.”
“But secrets—you can’t tell anyone a secret I tell you?”
“No, I promise. You can trust me, Clark.”
She’d seemed so kind, and he wanted to trust her. Still, his hands were trembling as he reached up and took his glasses off.
“The truth is—I’m Superman.”
If Dr. Bruin was shocked, she did a good job of suppressing it. Clark only saw her eyebrows raise slightly behind her own glasses, and he could hear the slight spike in the sound of her beating heart.
“Thank you for telling me this.” She gave him a calm smile.
“You need to know, because it’s why I’m here—” He sighed. “A few months ago, something happened to me—I almost died.”
He was sure she knew the story, it’d been all over the news. Just because he found it too hard to write articles about, didn’t mean anybody else did.
An asteroid that landed on Earth happened to contain salvageable traces of kryptonite. Someone obtained the stones and used them on him.
He still remembered the feeling, showing up to stop what seemed like a routine bank robbery.
But things went very wrong. He’d stepped into the underground vault where the two humans had been loading their bags with money.
“Stop right—” But he couldn’t speak.
He suddenly felt like the room was spinning, his very cells screaming in pain. He fell to his knees, blinded by the pain and only hearing the sound of the vault door slamming shut as the humans escaped, leaving Clark trapped with the lone crystal of kryptonite.
He wasn’t sure how much time passed. The kryptonite instantly dulled all of his superior senses. It was pitch black darkness without his night vision, aside from the sickening green glow of the crystal. The only sound he could hear within the thick metal walls was his own heart pounding in his ears.
He still remembered closing his eyes when it hurt too much to keep them open. He remembered waiting for death.
If it wasn’t for the robbers taking too long to disable the alarm, the police never would have shown up.
Someone opened the vault and found him there.
Clark woke up in the Fortress several days later, the magnified sunlight having purified all the poison from his cells.
Of course he was grateful for the police, for the Justice Gang that had dragged him to the Fortress on the brink of death.
But he could still never forget the feeling of being trapped in the vault, rapidly dying.
He knew he was alive, that he was no longer in danger after the Justice Gang had destroyed the kryptonite and tracked its source to make sure that was destroyed as well, but it was as if even though he was now safe, some part of his mind didn’t get that memo.
It started with avoiding small spaces, even small rooms. Anything reminiscent of the vault had him glancing over his shoulder to make sure the path to the exit was clear.
He had nightmares. That memory of closing his eyes to death felt so real, he’d sit up in bed in a panic, his chest heaving and his heart racing.
As his best friend and roommate, Lois knew something was wrong before anyone else. She saw through the brave face he put on in front of his parents, in front of Kara.
But he always brushed her off, telling her he was just fine.
He knew she could hear him pacing in his room instead of sleeping, that she could see the light from under his door.
His newfound fear of the dark finally made him realize he needed to talk to someone—a professional.
Everyone in the world seemed to know what had happened to Superman, but he appreciated that Dr. Bruin let him tell the story in his own words anyway.
“I just don’t understand what’s wrong with me—” He’d told her, his fingers drumming on the armrest of his chair.
“You almost died.” She said calmly. “That would negatively affect anyone—”
“I didn’t die—” He was firm. “So, I shouldn’t be affected.”
“Why not?” She tilted her head.
“Because I’m Superman!”
She didn’t flinch when he snapped. She just looked back at him with a calmness he wished that he felt. He glanced at the door to her office, mentally mapping how many seconds it would take to leave.
“That doesn’t mean you can’t have feelings, that you can’t be afraid.”
“But people need me to be brave, I can’t be scared of the dark like a child!”
“Is that all that scares you?”
“No.”
“What else scares you?”
He told her everything, small spaces, strange sounds, darkness, uncertainty, the very chance that this could happen again.
“How do you feel right now? After telling me all of this?”
He opened his mouth to retort, and then paused. He had to admit, he did feel slightly better.
It was almost as if a weight had been lifted from his shoulder that he hadn’t realized he’d been carrying.
It was the first time he’d told anyone those things.
“I’m going to ask you to do some homework for me over the next week, Clark. You can make a note on your phone—”
“I prefer writing things down on paper.”
“That works too.” She smiled. “If there’s anything that worries you, anything you want to talk about, just write it down and bring it to me next week.”
He nodded. He had a ton of yellow legal pads laying around, preferring those to any digital form of note taking.
He started keeping one on him at all times, jotting down anytime he felt nervous or scared, even if the cause was stupid, he forced himself to be honest.
Over the months, his notes changed. He used to fill several pages in the week between his appointments with Dr. Bruin, but as time went on, he wrote less and less.
He didn’t feel nervous in crowds of humans anymore, his fear of concealed kryptonite no longer at the very front of his mind.
He no longer jumped when someone slammed a door too loudly.
His nightmares faded from vivid memories to vague shapes, only occasionally waking him up.
He was able to sleep in complete darkness—sometimes.
He still saw Dr. Bruin every week, even though he rarely had anything that was bothering him enough to talk about.
She never seemed annoyed at this, or like Clark was wasting her time. In fact, she kept encouraging him to come back week after week, and he always agreed.
People in his life also noticed the difference in his demeanor, Lois telling him as much.
“Therapy really helps.” Clark told her. “Seriously, I think everyone should try it. You could even benefit—”
“Eh—” She shrugged, and he laughed.
Sitting in Dr. Bruin’s office now, with his notebook blank, made Clark reflect on just how different things were now.
“What do you say we call it early this time?” Dr. Bruin said. “Maybe you can catch the last few rays of sun?”
“Thank you—” Clark took his glasses from where they hung from the collar of his shirt and put them back on.
“Just remember to write down anything you wanna talk about for next time.”
“Will do.” He nodded, starting towards the door. “Thank you again, Dr. Bruin. I’ll see you next week.”
Clark stepped out into the hallway and made his way towards the elevator. He used to feel so on edge in such a small space, but he now thought nothing of it as the doors closed.
He took out his legal pad and read over his last few pages. The few things he wanted to talk about over the last few weeks were punctuated by doodles in the margins.
He wouldn’t say he was completely healed from what happened to him, but he was in a much better place. He smiled as he put his legal pad back in his jacket pocket.
As much as Clark wanted to go out flying, he also wouldn’t mind stopping by the office cafeteria for a snack.
Clark having one of the last appointments of the day usually meant the cafeteria was empty, and whatever was left of the snacks were now freely up for grabs.
He stepped out of the elevator and started towards the cafeteria. As usual, the tables were almost completely empty. Clark only saw one person sitting alone.
Clark went for the case of muffins and donuts. They were slightly stale from having been out all day, but he didn’t really mind.
He started eating a donut straight from the box, chewing the slightly stale glaze. Only after a moment did he feel the familiar urge to look over his shoulder.
The guy sitting alone at the table across the room was staring at him. Clark stared back for a second before the guy looked away again.
Clark went back to his donut, finishing it before reaching for one of the packs of instant hot chocolate.
As he poured the powder into a styrofoam cup and added hot water from the dispenser, he felt it again, the staring.
Clark looked over his shoulder. The guy locked eyes with Clark for a second before looking down at his watch, and then back up at Clark.
Okay, this was getting weird, Clark thought to himself as he turned away and sipped his hot chocolate, not even feeling the scorching temperature.
Why was Lex Luthor staring at him?
Of course Clark recognized him. He was a very distinct looking person, even if Clark didn’t already have a particular reason for knowing him, being Superman and all.
But that didn’t explain how Lex knew him, or why Lex was looking at him, unless he was just judging him for eating an old donut.
Clark drank the rest of his hot chocolate and tossed the cup in the trash before going for the door. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Lex glance at his watch again before getting up from the table and following him.
Clark heard Lex’s footsteps behind him, slightly faster. Clark’s heart pounded as he kept his eyes on the door.
The cafeteria was pretty big, but Clark suddenly felt like the walls were closing in on him, pressing against his body from all sides.
Lex’s footsteps were so close, so loud.
Clark couldn’t breathe. He had to get the heck out of here—
“Hey, wait—”
Clark paused, his hand hovering over the cafeteria door. His heart was still pounding hard in his chest.
“Yes?”
“I need your help with something.”
“Who, me?”
“I’m talking to you, aren’t I?”
Clark turned around to face him now. He’d never been this close to Lex in real life before, having only encountered previously through a screen.
He looked much less intimidating in person. In fact, he didn’t seem scary at all. He looked tired, dark lines under his eyes.
“I have an appointment in a few minutes, and I was supposed to bring a support person, but they didn’t show up. Will you come instead?”
“Um—”
“Look, you just have to sit there while I talk to the doctor.” Lex said. “This is the only appointment slot she had free, and this is the only time I have before I need to be back at work. I don’t wanna lose my appointment because I didn’t bring someone. So, will you help me?”
“Um—”
Clark glanced towards the floorlength windows of the cafeteria. The sky was growing darker, cloudier. He’d really been looking forward to flying.
“Please?”
How could he say no? He loved helping people, and he was always saying how important therapy was.
The last thing Clark wanted was to keep someone from therapy who really needed it. And a jerk like Lex could definitely benefit.
“Um, okay, I guess so—”
“Good, come on, we’re almost late—”
Lex grabbed Clark around the wrist and pulled him out into the hallway. They stepped into the elevator and Lex pushed the floor button before checking his watch.
Clark could sense Lex’s nerves as the elevator climbed up several floors before opening.
Lex grabbed Clark’s wrist again and led him down the hallway. Clark let him, wondering if Lex was worried he’d bolt if he let go.
One of the office doors was propped open. They paused at the threshold.
“Oh, you must be my five-thirty.” The woman at the desk glanced over. “Come inside, have a seat.”
Lex pulled Clark inside, only letting go of his wrist when the woman stood up and closed the door behind them.
Her office was so different from Dr. Bruin’s. Where Dr. Bruin had armchairs and bookshelves lining the wall, this doctor had plush patchwork chairs and beanbags, her bookshelves full of more trinkets than books, potted plants lining the space under the windows.
She even dressed differently than Dr. Bruin. While Dr. Bruin wore pantsuits and usually had her hair pulled back, this doctor was wearing jeans and a t-shirt, her blonde hair hanging loose around her shoulders, the ends split dyed red and blue.
While Clark knew much better than to judge anyone’s merritt based on their looks, any doubt about her expertise vanished from his mind at the sight of the wall of diplomas hanging behind her desk.
“I’m Dr. Harleen Quinzel, but you can call me Harley, if you want—” She said with a smile. “You guys can just sit wherever.”
Clark wouldn’t have minded sitting in one of the beanbag chairs, but Lex sat in one of the gaudy armchairs. Clark sat in the one beside him.
Dr. Quinzel didn’t sit down behind the desk, she instead took one of the other chairs, turning it to face them.
“So, tell me about yourselves—” She smiled. “I think our first session should be about getting to know each other.”
“I’m Lex Luthor, I have my own company that specializes in scientific developments.” Lex said plainly, crossing his arms.
Clark glanced over to see Dr. Quinzel looking at him expectantly.
Was he supposed to say something now? Lex had said he’d just have to sit there and not talk, but she obviously expected him to at least introduce himself.
“Um, my name is Clark Kent, and I’m a journalist for the Daily Planet.”
Clark could sense Lex staring at him from the corner of his eye, and Clark decided not to say anything else unless Dr. Quinzel asked him directly.
“Well, it’s nice to meet you guys.” She smiled. “I’m just gonna write some stuff down, if ya’ don’t mind. I’m such a scatterbrain, it helps if I take notes sometimes—”
She took a pencil from where it was tucked behind her ear and reached over to grab a notebook from her desk. She jotted a few things down before looking up again.
“So, what actually brings you here today?”
“I was hoping you could help me.” Lex said, his voice slightly soft as she leaned forward in the chair.
“Well, sure, I can try.” She smiled, nodding. “You’ve been having problems?”
“I have.” Lex said.
“With Clark?” She looked over at him and Clark blinked in surprise, his face slightly red.
Why would she ask that? Since when was he the problem? Wasn’t he supposed to be the support person?
“Um—” Clark was ready to defend himself, but Lex silenced him with a wave of his hand.
“This isn’t about him.” Lex said, not looking over. “This is about me. I’ve heard from a lot of people that therapy can be helpful, and I’ve decided to try it.”
“What do you think?” Dr. Quinzel was looking at Clark again.
“I—uh—agree.” He nodded.
“Then totally.” She smiled. “You have the floor, Lex, what’s on your mind?”
Lex paused for a moment and Clark wondered if he was worried about opening up in front of a stranger, but after a second, he looked up, speaking to Dr. Quinzel as if Clark wasn’t there.
“Over the past six months or so, I’ve started to truly realize just how…isolated I’ve become. I have trouble making friends or connecting with people in general.”
“I see.” Dr. Quinzel jotted something down. “Why do you think that is?”
“I know why.” Lex rolled his eyes. “That’s why I avoided therapy for so long—it seemed like a waste of time if I already knew the answer.”
“Knowing the answer isn’t the same as accepting or understanding the answer.” She said. “But I’m curious, what do you think the answer is?”
Lex was quiet for a moment, turning his head to look out the window. Clark did the same, but he wasn’t watching the weather anymore. He was looking at Lex.
“My childhood.” He shrugged, still staring out the window. Dr. Quinzel didn’t write anything down. She just waited patiently for Lex to go on. “My sister died, my father turned to alcohol and my mother turned to pills. I was suddenly invisible to them, they couldn’t see past their own substances and grief to even remember I existed most of the time, and the only person I wanted to talk to was dead. I guess I just stopped trying to connect with people after that.”
“I see, well, I’m very sorry to hear about that.” Dr. Quinzel said softly.
Clark felt strange about hearing this so unexpectedly, but Lex didn’t seem put on the spot necessarily, it was as if he’d been wanting to say it for a long time, regardless of a stranger having to overhear it.
“It sucked, but it was a long time ago.” Lex shrugged. “I don’t want to keep using it as an excuse to push people away. I looked around one day and realized if I wanted to actually have friends, I was gonna have to get over it.”
“Don’t think of it as getting over it—” Dr. Quinzel smiled, writing something down. “Instead, you’re gonna learn to process it—”
“I’ve had twenty years to process it.” Lex said.
“That’s a great start.” Dr. Quinzel smiled. Lex just turned his head to look out the window again. She wrote something else down. “What does your husband think of all of this?”
Clark glanced over in surprise. He had no idea Lex was married. Lex just shrugged again.
“He doesn’t know anything.”
“Aww, I don’t think that’s true—” She chuckled, glancing back at Clark. “So, what do you think, Clark? What are your goals?”
“My goals?”
“Here—in couples therapy. This is for both of you, so your personal goals and growth matters too.”
Clark stared at her in surprise. Wait—is that what this was? Couples therapy? Then why was Clark here and not Lex’s husband?
Did Lex’s husband refuse to show up, so Lex had to bring a support person instead?
“Uh—”
“He’s fine—” Lex snapped. “We don’t have problems between us, it’s just me—”
“Well, I think that’s for your husband to decide.” Dr. Quinzel looked at Clark expectantly.
Clark’s heart pounded in his chest as he slowly realized what was going on. Did Dr. Quinzel think he was Lex’s husband?
He looked at Lex again from the corner of his eye. Lex’s hands were in his pockets, he was still staring out the window, intently now, as if pointedly refusing to look at Clark.
Clark could hear Lex’s heart beating just as fast as his.
“Clark, is there anything you wanna say?” Dr. Quinzel asked softly.
“No.” He shook his head, forcing a small smile. “I’m just here for Lex, that’s all.”
Dr. Quinzel looked between them, a small crease between her brows. Clark’s heart pounded faster as he wondered if she could somehow tell he was lying.
Lois always told him he was very bad at being dishonest, but he refused to think about that now. He just tried to seem as genuine as possible as he smiled back at her.
After what felt like ages, Dr. Quinzel finally glanced away, tucking her pencil behind her ear and closing her notebook.
“Then I’ll be happy to help you, Lex, because I think it’ll help you both.” She said. “I’m glad you feel your marriage is still strong, despite everything, but I think you’ll be surprised just how much stronger it can be after this.”
Clark overheard Lex breathe slightly in relief and he found himself doing the same.
“Thank you, Dr. Quinzel—” Lex turned back to face her. “I really appreciate this, especially seeing me—us—last minute.”
“It’s no problem.” She smiled. “Now, let’s talk a little bit about connection—”
Clark tried not to listen too hard at what they were saying as it went on. He already felt bad enough for Lex, having to say it all in front of a stranger, even if he was pretending they were married.
But he also felt the need to listen at least a little for when Dr. Quinzel asked his opinion, which was often.
“What do you think, Clark?”
“Sure, definitely.” Clark only half-knew what he was agreeing to as he nodded.
“Cool beans.” Dr. Quinzel smiled and Clark chuckled. “Now—I’m gonna give you guys some homework, if you don’t mind—”
Clark instinctively reached into his jacket and took out his own notebook and pen.
“Oh, you’re prepared, I like that—” She grinned. “Now, I’m not gonna ask too much of you guys, so all I’m gonna ask is that you talk to each other.”
“About what?” Clark wrote that down.
“That’s up to you—see, I think if you’re the person that Lex trusts the most, then any form connecting with you can help him with trusting others in the future. Just make time for each other, about twenty-to-thirty minutes a day to start. You can talk about anything you want, it doesn’t have to be deep or profound or anything like that.” She said. “Physical touch also helps with that connection, just so you know, but I’m sure I don’t have to remind you to hold hands—”
Clark suddenly remembered Lex grabbing his wrist in the hallway. His hand was so warm.
“That’s all?” Lex asked, almost as if he’d been expecting more.
“It might not seem like much, but it goes a long way.” Dr. Quinzel nodded. She then sighed as she glanced at the clock on the wall. “Unfortunately, we need to be wrapping it up. I really appreciate you guys coming, it was really nice to meet you both.”
“You too, Dr. Quinzel.” Clark stood up and shook her hand.
Lex shook her hand in silence, following Clark to the door, before pausing and looking back at her.
“Thank you.”
“No problem, see you next week.”
They stepped out into the hallway, the door closing softly behind them. They were both silent as they walked towards the elevator.
Clark couldn’t tell if the loud pounding he heard was Lex’s heart or his own. Only when the elevator doors closed, did Clark turn towards him.
“You lied to me—”
He was surprised how suddenly offended he was, his voice a soft hiss. Lex glanced away, his hands in his pockets.
“I’m sorry—” Lex said, and Clark was slightly surprised to hear him say that. “But would you have really come if I’d been honest?”
“Maybe—” Clark said, and it was now Lex who looked surprised. “I mean—I would have at least been better prepared. I’m really bad at lying on a whim.”
Lex was silent as the elevator stopped in the lobby and he stepped out.
The lobby was empty, the pitch-black sky outside a sign that almost all appointments were done for the day.
“Why are you going to couples therapy if you’re not married?” Clark asked, following him out.
“I wanted to see Dr. Quinzel.” He shrugged. “And this is the only time I had free for the week, and couples therapy was the only session she had open at this time.”
“There are other therapists available, I really like Dr. Bruin—”
“Dr. Quinzel is the best.” Lex said firmly. “Didn’t you see how many degrees she had?”
Clark felt slightly defensive at that. Yes, she did have more degree plaques than Dr. Bruin, but there was more to mental healing than that.
Still, therapy was a personal journey, and Lex should be able to pick whoever he was comfortable with.
“So, you just planned to show up and pick the first random person you saw to be your pretend spouse?”
“Essentially.” Lex nodded. “But I didn’t just pick you because you were the first person I saw. You seemed trustworthy. Maybe it’s the glasses—”
Clark found himself smiling at that before shoving it back down.
“What about next week?”
“Don’t worry about it.” Lex said. “I’ll think of something. I’ll just tell her you have to work or something—”
“But she’s gonna wanna talk about our progress—”
“Progress?”
“With the homework.”
“We’re actually supposed to do homework?”
“Of course. You have to put in the work if you wanna see results.”
Lex was silent for a moment, staring down at the floor.
“I can’t ask you to keep coming with me.”
“But I wanna help you.” Clark said.
“Why?” Lex looked back up at him in surprise before narrowing his eyes.
“Well, I think everyone should be able to change if they want—”
“You mean that I should change because I’m such a huge jerk.” Lex tilted his head.
“I didn’t say that.”
“But you were thinking it.”
“But I didn’t say it.”
Lex looked at him again, and Clark had trouble reading his expression. He could still hear their heartbeats steady in his ears.
“If you really want to, you can help me.” Lex said finally, and Clark smiled. “Just, like I said, try to let me do most of the talking.”
“Whatever you say, husband.” Clark grinned, suppressing a laugh when Lex rolled his eyes.
“And, I hope this goes without saying, but please keep everything you heard to yourself—”
“Of course. Your secret is safe with me.”
“It’s not really a secret per se—” He glanced away. “It’s just not something I advertise, but I appreciate you keeping it under wraps.”
They stepped outside, Clark taken aback by the cold winds. The night sky was fully blanketed by clouds now, a light mist of freezing cold rain was falling, the droplets coating his glasses.
Lex shivered as they stood on the sidewalk, pushing his sleeve down to check his watch just as a black car pulled up in front of them.
“Do you need a ride?” Lex looked at him.
“I was just going to walk.” Clark shook his head. “I don’t wanna keep you from work if you need to get back.”
“That’s not a big deal. Come on, it’s freezing out here.”
“I like it—I mean, I like the fresh air. I don’t live that far, really. I’ll be fine.”
“If you insist, but here—” Lex took his phone out. “Let me give you my number, just in case.”
There was something so strange about putting Lex’s number in his phone, though he wasn’t sure why. It was just something he’d never thought he’d do in his life.
“We should probably meet up sometime before our next appointment, just to make sure we’re on the same page with the homework and everything.” Clark said, and Lex nodded.
“I’ll check my schedule.” He said, opening the back door of the car and giving Clark one last look. “Well, see you around—”
“Yeah, see ya—”
The car slowly pulled off as Clark turned and started down the sidewalk, his hands shoved in his pockets.
He wasn’t lying when he said he didn’t live far, but he made it home in record time, walking faster and faster until he was full on sprinting inside the apartment building.
The rain had picked up and his clothes were damp, his shoes leaving wet footprints as he took the stairs two at a time before finally unlocking the door.
“You’re home late. How was—” Lois glanced up from her laptop at the kitchen table just as Clark brushed past and went for his room. “Oh—okay—”
“Therapy was fine, I just gotta go check on something really quick—” He called over his shoulder before closing the bedroom door.
He undressed quickly, leaving his wet clothes in a pile on the floor, placing his glasses carefully on the nightstand.
He changed into his costume, running his fingers through his hair that was still damp with rain water, before opening his bedroom window and taking off into the sky.
While he’d been looking forward to flying all day, he didn’t think much about it now. The cold wind blew against his face, and while the fresh air was nice, his mind was racing.
The Arctic was cold, still, and quiet and as Clark landed softly at the Fortress. Once inside, he went straight for the console.
Kara once told him that she had better things to do than to snoop in his stuff, but he wasn’t sure he fully believed her. Just in case, he kept this fully password protected with something he hoped she’d never think to try.
He typed in his password of his favorite singer’s birthday and saw his files. He opened the pathway of folders to reach the most secret folder.
The screen was suddenly filled with dozens of images of Lex.
Dr. Bruin had taught him that keeping notes greatly eased his anxiety. And seeing that Clark’s biggest fear was being poisoned again, it seemed logical to keep a close eye on anyone who seemed dangerous.
Clark decided to start with the person who once vowed to destroy Superman.
It wasn’t stalking. Or, maybe it was.
But he didn’t feel bad about it.
He sorted everything chronologically, pulling up the very first time Lex had ever mentioned him. It was a clip of Lex on the Metropolis news, saying that Superman was a danger to society.
He scrolled ahead, flicking past dozens of screenshots and videos, ranging from times Lex said that Superman should be imprisoned, to just simple times that Lex had posted online that Superman was annoying.
He paused as he finally reached the end of the file. The last thing he’d uploaded, the last time Lex had mentioned Superman, was almost six months ago.
Clark thought back to what Lex had said in Dr. Quinzel’s office—that he started to want to change about six months ago.
Did that mean he didn’t hate Superman anymore? Or at least, he wasn’t going to post about it anymore?
Clark felt something akin to relief in his chest in that moment.
While logic told him that Lex was always all talk, part of him had always been waiting for Lex to do more than just complain about him online.
But did that mean he didn’t have to worry anymore?
Clark wasn’t going to let his guard down just yet, but he did understand in that moment what he had to do.
He had to keep going to therapy with Lex if it meant truly helping him overcome all the hate in his heart.
After hearing Lex talk about his childhood, he couldn’t help but wonder if Lex ever really hated Superman, or if it was just misplaced anger for everything else.
He suddenly felt sympathy for Lex, even though he knew the last thing Lex would want was to be pitied.
Clark closed the files and logged back out of the console. He felt so light with relief as he stepped back outside and took off into the sky.
It was still raining back home and he grabbed a towel from the bathroom and tried to dry off as best he could before changing into a t-shirt and sweatpants.
He draped his damp costume over the back of his desk chair and reached for his work clothes he’d left on the floor. He felt his phone buzz in his pants pocket and pulled it out, seeing texts from Lex.
‘Did you make it home?’
‘Or did you freeze to death?’
Clark found himself smiling softly, sitting down on the edge of the bed before replying.
‘I’m alive.’ He followed that up with a few smiley face emojis.
‘Ok. Good.’
That was all Lex said. Still, Clark watched the screen for a while, just to be sure.
He then sighed, cleaning out his jacket pockets before tossing his clothes in the hamper.
He took his notepad and flipped to a fresh page as he laid back in bed. Writing notes and lists eased his anxieties almost as much as flying did, but as he drummed the end of the pencil against the edge of the page, it occurred to him that he didn’t really feel anxious right now.
“Hey—” He glanced up as Lois knocked softly on the door before peering inside. “There’s dinner if you’re hungry.”
“What’d you make?”
“The easiest and laziest dinner ever.” She grinned. “Spaghetti with jar sauce.”
“My favorite.” He grinned, tossing the notepad onto the bedside table and going to make a plate.
It was definitely cheap jar sauce, but something about today made it taste extra special.
Clark fell asleep that night with all the lights off.