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I think I was in love with humans. Like Charleh said, it was the only explanation.
I'd been listening to her with as little attention as I could get away with as she explained/ranted/complained at me about her marital partner. Regardless of the legal and social dynamics potentially involved in marriage wherever she or he came from, or whatever jurisdiction that applied, she had rejected my suggestion to stop being married to him. Instead, what she wanted was for him to stop behaving like an asshole.
Which summed up my opinion of a lot of humans and made me think about how I, too, had rejected a life of never interacting with them again. How I had started responding to security problems among Transport's human passengers even though I knew they were stupid and frustrating problems. I didn't want to stop responding. I just didn't want them to be doing things I had to respond to.
Her current rant constituted the third time I had responded to his ongoing unsatisfactory behavior. The first time, she'd given him her food portion (or he'd told her to give it to him and she did, a situation which was sometimes referred to as 'taking' or 'stealing'; I'd noticed this when I investigated but Transport hadn't seen it as a problem). Transport did see it as a problem when she attempted to sabotage one of the food dispensers to produce another portion without paying for it. She didn't have any money because he'd spent it on various items he claimed had resale value, blah, blah, blah.
The upshot was she was broke and hungry, Transport considered her attempted sabotage a security issue (it was) and I couldn't even confiscate back the food she'd given her marital partner. He'd eaten some and traded the rest to other humans in return for unspecified favors owed to him, not her. Not that she wanted the favors. She wanted food. My bunk came with a food allotment, something I'd been dumping down the recycler in case anyone suspected a rogue SecUnit was on the loose. Anyway, I gave her mine.
Because I did not want this to recur for the duration of the trip, my involvement had also included counseling her marital partner not to consume other people's food portions or trade them for his personal benefit. I don't know how that went over with him. But the second time I stepped in was when he hit her for 'getting him in trouble' and showed an 87% chance of continuing violence. I stopped that, ignored his lies, and told him I would take about an hour to break every bone in his arm if he bothered her further.
He had not touched her again, although she was unhappy about him monopolizing of what few marital assets they had and his threats of what he'd do to impact her employment once they reached their destination unless she 'stopped fucking with him'. The obvious answer of 'don't interact with him' or 'stop caring what he thinks or says' wasn't going to help. When it really hit me was when she said, "He asked me if I loved him and I said, 'I must, because I wouldn't put up with this otherwise.'" Then she said to me, "I wish I didn't. I really, really wish I didn't."
That was when I realized: this was me and humans. (Maybe not the last part, but the first – yeah.) Sometimes they're okay. Even when they're not, though, I put up with their shit. Someone could be the worst client and I would still save them. (I'd save them last, but I'd still save them.) Humans monopolized everything they could and I lived under constant threat they'd discover I'd slipped their control and they'd address that, too. Yet here I was, still interacting with them, still caring.
Did I love them? I must.
