Chapter Text
When Kaelix woke up to the greasy smell of eggs, bacon, and toast, he knew he wasn’t home anymore. Nevermind that, the bed sheets that he was currently snuggling deeper into was of a scent that was wayyyy too fancy for his own taste. Not that he could afford such luxuries, anyway. Well, he might as well make the most of it while it lasted. Kaelix huffed, convinced that this was a dream, and drifted back to sleep.
….?
No way.
He actually fell back asleep.
When Kaelix woke up again, he was almost certain he would be back in his own house, surrounded by monkey plushies in his little apartment that cost way too much for faulty plumbing and subpar lighting.
The fluffy pillow underneath his head told him otherwise. Once he realized that he was practically swimming in silk, he shot straight up and jumped off the bed, only to almost slip on the floor because of how clean it was; which definitely was not his own. He could recognize his own floors, thank you very much, and it was really never this slippery and uncluttered. The only time he ever cleaned up was when he got into a cleaning mood, but he's been in a slump lately, so he knew that wasn't it. He got off the floor in a daze, sitting (cautiously) on the edge of the bed. Now that he was taking it all in–yeah no. This whole room was bigger than his whole apartment and then some.
There was a family size bed that was taking up almost half of the room, which was absurd because what the hell did they need all this bed for? Kaelix wasn’t a heavy sleeper, but his friends and family had never complained when sharing a bed with him, so he was pretty sure he didn’t move around. In fact, he was so sure that he even had pictures of himself sleeping like a log saved on his phone (credits to his siblings). The sheets–which Kaelix had to close his eyes and take a deep breath when he saw them again–were pure silk. He wasn’t well versed in fabrics and fashion, but he had a friend who was, and would often consult Kaelix for advice when his ideas ran dry. So Kaelix kind of learned on the spot how to differentiate between fake silk and real silk. Kaelix balled up a part of the sheets out of habit and squeezed; there was a distinct crunch that resounded throughout the room.
Yep. That was the real deal alright. And the room also enhanced sounds. Good to know.
To the left of the bed was a wooden desk that looked more polished than diamonds. The thing was practically collecting dust with how unused it looked, yet when Kaelix stood up and ran his finger across the surface, not only did his finger felt cleaner, he felt like the desk had shot out a sparkle of shine as if to mock him. Kaelix stared at the desk as if it had wronged him, and perhaps it had. Well, never mind that, he was never going to use this desk out of pure spite. Whatever.
He walked away from the desk with a huff, only to stop in his tracks as he realized that his clothes were–well. Not his own. Instead of his usual yellow t-shirt with a small monkey pattern over his heart and comfy shorts, he was adorned in something that practically screamed luxury. His mind was too fried to know what brand this was, but he was sure it cost a pretty penny; and he did not have such pretty pennies to spare. The material that he was wearing felt almost invisible on his person. No wonder why he didn’t notice! He felt practically naked!
Anyways, there was another door other than the walk-in closet that Kaelix was pretty sure was the washroom. He sighed and walked over and twisted the knob. The washroom was, by far, the grandest thing he had ever seen. The ceilings were already high in the bedroom, but it was somehow even higher in the washroom. There was marbled glass everywhere. The floor? Marble. The sink? Marble. The toilet? A bidet. Kaelix had only had the luxury of using a bidet whenever he went on vacation overseas with his family.
Kaelix closed the door.
He circled around and sat back on the bed, too tired to keep exploring. If it was any other event, he would be bouncing off the walls by how eager he was to uncover hidden gems, but this–this was uncalled for. He didn’t know where he was, the bed he woke up on was not his own, the desk in this room had beef with him, and he was literally (not) walking around naked! He wished that there was someone out there who would simply tell him what was going on–
“Congratulations user333! You have successfully been connected to the system of this world. Please wait a moment before your new assistant downloads. If you have any complaints, please email us at [email protected].”
What the fuck.
Kaelix did not swear often, but he felt like this situation called for it. It was in his mind anyways. He felt like he was going insane.
Ding!
Just like the voice he had hallucinated said, there was now a status window with the words: 'Assistant download complete. Please give me a name, young master.’
Young master was a bit excessive, but Kaelix digressed. He’ll ask if he could fix that later. He thought about the name a bit before deciding on a play on word off of his last name, Debonair. He reached out instinctively–a bit creepy–and typed in the nickname: ‘Debonheir.’
In a flash of bright light, a swirling ball energy appeared in front of him and settled on his lap. He watched in awe as a figure of a monkey started to emerge from the ball of light. When the brightness settled and Kaelix no longer felt like he was being blinded, he blinked and the monkey blinked back. He started screaming and the monkey also started screaming.
Kaelix scrambled back on the bed and the monkey dropped on the floor with a small ‘oof”.
“You could've been more gentle, you know.” The monkey — Debonheir spoke up in a squeaky voice as if it was normal for a white monkey with a yellow oval shaped pattern over its face to speak.
“YOU CAN SPEAK?!” Kaelix screeched, more surprised than scared now. Who else got to say that they encountered a monkey that could talk and was his assistant in a different world. Woah. Different world? Actually, Kaelix should really stop jumping around topics and just focus on the present. Did he mention that the monkey could talk?
“YEAH! SURPRISE!! I BET I CAN SPEAK BETTER THAN YOU CAN!!!” Debonheir yelled back, as if baiting Kaelix to continue with its shenanigans.
He was being ragebaited. He could recognize that tone anywhere. He wouldn't give in no matter what—
“NUH UH.”
—Okay. Nevermind.
“YUH HUH.” The Debonheir was now climbing up on his bed with its chest puffed out. Kaelix glared at this irritating little creature and tried to flick it off. Debonheir dodged it skillfully and jumped in front of Kaelix instead.
“NUH UH.”
“TOMATO, TOMATO, BANANA, BRICK.”
“WHAT THE HELL!! I'M ALLERGIC TO BANANAS.”
“EXACTLY. LMAOOO.”
“You did NOT just say LMAOOO out loud.”
“I did. You did too.”
“Oh what the hell.”
Kaelix collapsed back on the bed, covering his face with his hands in exhaustion. This day just seemed to get weirder and weirder!
True to its nature, or something, Kaelix didn’t know, Debonheir jumped on Kaelix’s chest and sat down. “Now that you’ve calmed down, host, we can finally move on to the main part.”
Kaelix groaned, “You make it sound like I’m the one being difficult.”
Debonheir swished its tail back and forth and crossed its arms in seemingly deep contemplation. Kaelix felt his eye twitch. Multiple times.
“Technically you–”
“Nope.” Kaelix sat back up and sent Debonheir rolling again. “We’re not doing this again.”
“What again?” Debonheir tilted its head in feigned innocence. It was now seated on his pillow, the place indenting as Debonheir fell victim to the fluffyness. Its eyes seemed to sparkle as it dove head first into the pillow, eyes falling shut as it seemed to start breathing more evenly.
…
Kaelix reached over and ripped the pillow away from Debonheir, making the monkey tumble back on the mattress. If this was any other situation, Kaelix would’ve liked to observe Debonheir for a while longer; his favourite animal was monkeys, after all. It took all of Kaelix’s consciousness to not fall prey to the adorable scene of Debonheir falling asleep in front of him.
“You’re really not making this easy for me, you know.” Debonheir rubbed its head as if it had hurt itself on the soft mattress, now sitting up again against the headboard.
“I’m not making it easy?? ME??” Kaelix had had enough! What was the deal with this monkey ragebaiting him every time it spoke anyway?? Wasn’t it supposed to be his assistant?? His companion in this world??? Kaelix thought the term rival was more fitting at this point. “From the moment you got here, you’ve been nothing but trouble to me! And I’ve only been here for like an hour!”
“Technically, it’s been 2 hours.”
“Even worse! 2 hours and no progress!” At this point, Kaelix was surprised that no one had come into the room yet to check on him. Aren’t isekai stories typically packed with nosy servants and an even more nosy side cast? Not that Kaelix knew anything about where he was, but he was 9999% certain he was in another world, and the system notification screen along with the appearance of Debonheir had most definitely confirmed it. Debonheir just stared at him before going into a blank stare and stopped moving. Okay. Creepy much? Kaelix poked the monkey and it just–fell over.
What the heck. Now, Kaelix wasn’t one to want chaos, but he had to admit that it was a bit more reassuring to actually talk to someone–something right after waking up in a place that he didn’t recognize. His own house wasn’t exactly quiet either, his siblings finding new ways to annoy their parents never failed to surprise him. He had since moved out, and was living on his own, but he couldn’t help but miss the noise and the chatter as he drifted off to sleep, reminding him that there was someone waiting for him in the coming morning.
He wondered if his family would mourn his death disappearance.
Kaelix shook his head, now was not the time to think about things that he had no control over. Even though he did feel the tall-tale signs of unshed tears piling up behind his eyes, he sniffed and decided to focus on getting Debonheir to talk instead.
He tried gently poking the monkey, before moving on to full on smacking it. Nothing. He also tried to dangle the monkey from its tail to see if it would suddenly come “online” and scream at him. Nothing. At this point, Kaelix was kind of getting desperate. Trapped in his own thoughts with no outlet, he started to say things out loud.
“It sure would be a shame if I just jumped out a window– wait, where was the window?” Kaelix looked around once more to the spot where he would usually expect a large window frame to be. There was, because of course there was, a whole goddamn balcony that he had somehow missed. “Damn. This place got it all. I wouldn’t be surprised if it also had a whole rooftop with a barbeque place and a full sized pool.”
“You wouldn’t be wrong about that.” A squeaky voice replied. Kaelix jumped.
“AH– Don’t do that!!!” Debonheir was awake again, and had jumped onto Kaelix’s shoulders. Kaelix let it be, smiling a bit as he got comfortable against the headboard. “What happened with you anyways? It was like you died or something!!”
“Awww you missed me?”
“Heck no.”
Debonheir chuckled and started to finally explain itself.
“I was in the middle of an update.” An update? So these isekai systems just shut down when updating? Well, good to know; but it was a little weird why it was updating right after presumably being “downloaded” already. “Actually uhm. Well. You might want to sit down for this…”
Kaelix turned his head towards Debonheir and stared. It had a sheepish grin, much unlike the cheeky one it had displayed when trying to ragebait him, and it seemed like it was guilty of something. He gestured to the bed and gestured harder to the shape of his body. What was this little creature talking about? Was it blind to the way they literally have not left the bed at all? By the blind much. Woah. Where did that come from..? Kaelix thought that he should know what that was referencing, but couldn’t wrap his head around it.
“You are not supposed to be here.”
What.
“Does this mean I’m supposed to be home? Oh-m-gee does this mean I can go back??” Kaelix’s eyes sparkled with hope. Just thinking that he might be able to go back after all of this brought him immense comfort.
“No, you died. That wasn’t wrong.” Annnnd that hope was immediately dashed.
“Oh. Then what do you mean then? I don’t even know where here is.”
“No, no, you are supposed to be here, just not—here.”
Kaelix frowned. Why was Debonheir being so cryptic? Why was it talking as if he knew what it was saying?
“I’m not talking in circles, you’re just slow.”
…Kaelix was 1001% sure that he had said that thought in his mind palace. He stared at the little creature again, and it just stared back, all innocently, like it had not just committed several crimes.
“I’ll have you know I have a clean record!” Debonheir huffed. Somehow Kaelix didn’t believe that.
Also, that confirmed it. Debonheir could read his thoughts.
“Oh yeah, it’s a new update.”
“What kind of update requires you to pry into my mind?? That’s private information!” Kaelix could almost strangle the monkey, but he held himself back.
“Don’t worry about it.” Debonheir smiled ominously, not budging its stance at all. “Anyways, I’ll now upload the files on the story that you’re in.” Its eyes blinked and a loading screen popped up, projecting from its eyes. “You’re already familiar with this story, it’s Spoiled Rotten by Anonymous.”
Oh.
Ohhhh.
That made a lot of sense, actually.
Spoiled Rotten was a webnovel that Kaelix had read on a whim, recommended by one of his sisters. At first, he had read it to de-stress, having just finished his final exams, but then somehow got pulled into its crazy story telling. The narrative was about a mistress who was married to a CEO, but it’s not all about romance and the sorts. The female lead was revealed to be forced into an arranged marriage with the man, and was spiteful at first, but the male lead did everything he could to woo and win the female lead’s heart. It had the cliche trope of the male interest having apparently known the female lead since childhood and loved her ever since, but the female lead didn’t remember him and was led to believe that she was being used for a political and business movement.
Although it wasn’t what Kaelix would normally read, not a day went by where he wasn’t stressed about the big reveal where the female lead finally found out about the male lead’s true feelings. The twists and turns it took for them to finally get together for real felt strangely cathartic, but Kaelix would rather stick forks in his eyes than go through all of that again.
Anyways. Back to the situation at hand.
“Soooo what does that mean exactly?” Kaelix tilted his head, “If I’m here because of a bug, then shouldn’t I technically not exist anymore?”
“No,” The monkey shook its head, “The admins just sent me a message, actually! You’re free to stay here, or try and get a divorce with your current spouse so that you may continue the original plot with the original male lead.”
“What changes does it make if I decide to stay?” If Kaelix could avoid the original plot… that would help a lot.
“Completing the full story would grant the user the ability to go back home.”
“Didn’t you say that I died? Where’s the logic in that?”
“Technically, your body is in between two realms right now. In Earthling terms, I believe it’s what you call a coma.”
“I see…” Kaelix furrowed his brows, deep in thought. When he was reading Spoiled Rotten, he wanted to do nothing more than to pull his hair out at the unnecessary drama, and how infuriating the main character had been. On more than one occasion, Kaelix had to hold himself back from throwing his phone across the room because of the way the plot unfolded. It was just one thing after another! And at that point, even the side characters seemed to have more common sense than their two leads. He shivered. If he had trouble staying sane while reading it, would he be able to actually live through it?
In many ways, this bug had been a blessing in disguise, saving Kaelix from accidentally being charged with a restraining order.
Then again though, he did want to go back home. Contrary to popular beliefs when it came to isekais, Kaelix wasn’t all that miserable when he was still alive—
Well he was still alive, just in a coma. Ahem. He’ll come back to this later.
He had a family that loved him that he cherished very much, and a scholarship he had earned through hard work and dedication. Yeah they weren’t that well off in terms of finance, but they got by. If he was in a coma right now… who was paying for his medical bills?
Right. Yeah. it would benefit him more to get home as quickly as possible.
“You have a righteous will, Young Master. I should also mention that however much money you accumulate in this universe, you will also be able to use them should you wake up back on Earth.”
Kaelix rolled his eyes. “Of course there would be an incentive I can’t refuse. Alright, so what do I need to do to get back to the main story?”
“Hmm… At this point, we are about 3 months before the main plot starts. You would need to find out how to divorce your current spouse first before we can transfer you to the right system.”
“What?? Can’t you just transfer me now? I don’t want to break this guy’s heart…” Okay. Now Kaelix felt kind of bad. Sure he didn’t know the guy, but his supposed spouse might’ve really liked him since they are married… What was with this one-sided strangers to lovers BS. Oh well. How hard could it be?
“Yeah, for some reason the system doesn’t let me do that since you’re technically in a marriage contract with your current spouse.”
“Why does this marriage overpower your system???”
“I don’t know! Stop asking me!” Debonheir huffed and turned away. Kaelix squinted his eyes and was about to retort and demand more answers before being cut off by footsteps near his door.
“Kaelix? Are you up yet?” A knock sounded out in the bedroom. Kaelix immediately froze in place as the door opened. “Lunch is ready downstairs if you want it, I just wanted to see you before I leave for the day.”
Kaelix’s jaw dropped open. The most handsome man walked in, with his gorgeous stride and parted black hair that tapered off into a dark shade of green. Kaelix felt his eyes seizing up as he looked into those mesmerizing purple and pink eyes. This man could hypnotize him into doing crazy things and he would say thank you. And was that a mole on the bottom left of his lips– No. That was dangerous territory.
This man was Exactly his type. Capital E and done. (He was done).
Oh fuck me. This was going to be harder than he thought.