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In My Time of Dying

Summary:

It was not his day to die yet as a couple strong coughs came out and whatever-it-was that was in his throat finally ejected itself and landed on his dining room table. He dry heaved and his shoulders shook as air finally found its way back into his body.

His throat was still sore when he caught his breath and the world slowly stopped running circles in front of him. His vision finally cleared up enough to see what he’d just coughed up.

There sitting on the dining room table was a perfect cecilia. Its usually white delicate petals were covered in blood that was dripping from the flower onto the table. Kaeya knew what the problem was the minute he saw it.

So it was official. He was dying.

Kaeya catches Hanahaki, a disease of a dead nation, of which he is one of the sole survivors of. His chosen home of Mondstadt has decided to reject him, now he has to deal with the consequences on his own.

An exploration of Kaeya and his relationships to the people around him as he slowly breaks down.

Notes:

Not too long ago I was reading 'no love lost, not for him' by li2 and thought I could make my own spin on it. Then it spun out of control. But you should go read that fic its great.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: Prelude: Illness

Chapter Text

It started with an innocuous cough.

Noteworthy enough that Kaeya noticed he felt off, but not enough for him to start panicking over anything. Klee had brought a cough into the Knights’ headquarters the week before, no doubt picked up from her fish blasting activities that he definitely knew nothing about. As the colder months rolled around they needed to keep a closer handle on her comings and goings, lest she come home sopping wet again.

So, when Kaeya started showing symptoms of a cold, he paid it no mind. He sat at his desk with a collection of paperwork both from himself and stolen from Jean’s desk when she wasn’t looking and worked through it. He’d always been a little bit of a sickly child and that followed up all the way up to adulthood where common colds and flus always seemed to hit him. Even when everyone else seemed to shake off sickness, he would not. The consequences of which were that he was particularly good at working straight through being sick, not letting it affect him or his work.

Slowly, the clock struck six in the evening and Kaeya felt the first twinges of a headache to accompany his coughing. He sighed in defeat and finally closed up the file he was working on to wander down to Good Hunter for some soup. While the soup Sara served was good, it was never quite up to par with the soup Adelinde made when he was a child. It always hit the spot when he was sick, and she always seemed to know exactly when he needed it.

What kind of soup was it again? He grumbled through his coughing, being sick always messed with his head. Veggie radish was it? Or something with chicken in it?

Sara would have veggie radish soup at her restaurant, surely that was it. He would have to ask Diluc next time the man could stand his presence which soup it actually was that Addie saved for when they were sick.

“-Kaeya?” The sound of his own name being called pulled him out of his thoughts as he opened his eye to see Sara holding his food packaged up and ready to go. She looked confused at the lack of response from him.

“Apologies Sara, it appears I’m more under the weather than I originally thought,” he waved off the concern easily. As if on cue a few more coughs struck, forcing him to turn away and cough into his arm. Kaeya would hate to be the cause of someone else getting sick. He paid his own coughs no mind. “I best be going, I’d hate to pass on whatever bug I have to someone else.”

Kaeya lazily tossed some mora on the counter for her and picked up his takeout.

“If you insist,” Sara said, her hands on her hips, “Do try to get some rest. I'll see you next time. ”

“Of course!” Kaeya had zero intentions of doing that. He was going back to his office to finish off everything else he had to get done.

Saying goodbye to Sara, Kaeya made his way back to the Ordo Favonius headquarters, slipping through alleyways to avoid people. His headache did nothing but get worse on the way and he wasn’t really in the mood to play nice with everyone. He loved the citizens of Mondstadt, but they could occasionally get on his nerves.

He grumbled as he sat back down at his desk, brushing off a couple more coughs as he worked his way through his soup.

It would be a long night.

He paid it no mind.


I’m going to die.

That was Kaeya’s first thought a few days later when his cold didn’t go away. Well, he didn’t think it was a common cold anymore. The coughing progressively got worse as the days went by, to the point where people kept poking their heads into his office to see if he was okay. He was fine, thank you very much. Apparently, this was a hard sell after spending the better part of the captains’ meeting attempting to coughing up his lungs.

As if his luck couldn’t get worse, he woke up with a fever next. His body sluggishly refused to cooperate with him as he pulled himself out of bed. He wasn’t sure what time it was but judging from the sunlight in his window, he was well and truly late for work.

His musings were broken by a knock on the door.

Kaeya pulled himself out of bed to stumble over to the source of the knocking. The world spun a little as he stood up and continued to spin as he got to the door. Opening the door revealed a disgruntled looking Jean Gunnhildr on the other side.

“Kaeya there you are!” she started, “You didn’t show up to today so I figured-” she cut off and eyed him head to toe. Judging by the look on her face he failed whatever assessment she had been doing. “Are you okay?”

Ah, that would explain why she looks rather miffed at his door. Kaeya ventured a guess that it was nearing mid afternoon. “Apolog-” a cough interrupted him as he grabbed the door frame to keep himself steady. Jean stepped forward to help hold him steady. He took a breath, ignoring the irritation at the back of his throat, ”Apologies, it would appear I overslept today. I’ll be sure to stay late tonight to catch up.”

“Stay late!” she blinked as if she couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Kaeya braced himself for a tongue lashing he was surely going to get for missing work. Gods only know Jean had enough on her plate without having to hunt down a wayward Cavalry Captain. “You need to be resting, everybody can see that you haven’t been doing well the last week. Don’t make it worse by pushing yourself.”

Ah, he was being scolded. Deserved he supposed, making her worry. Jean was always so busy trying to keep Mondstadt afloat, she shouldn’t be here worrying about a grown man who should know when to take a break.

Ironic in a way, he supposed.

“Take a few days off, I’ll fill out the forms for sick leave,” she was saying when he finally zoned back into her words. “Do you need help getting back to bed?”

Absolutely not, he’s inconvenienced her enough. “Don’t worry your pretty little head about that Jean, I’ll be fine. Do try not to miss me the next couple of days now while I’m on my deathbed.” Kaeya needed her to leave soon, he wasn’t sure how much more talking he could take as the back of his throat started to scratch again.

She had that weird look on her face again, the one she had when he first opened the door. “Alright, straight to bed with you. I’ll have someone stop by later with some soup and medication.” He opened his mouth to protest before the coughs came back, tired of being held back. “I know you don’t have anything here, don’t even try and lie."

Ah, it appears she knew him too well. He huffed in defeat, “Alright I’m off to bed, promise.”

She smiled, “Feel better, Kaeya and please if it gets worse go to the Cathedral. They’re there to help.”

“I will.” Kaeya had no intentions of doing that, but he knew she would not give up on it. He also knew she would follow up if need be. He would just have to convince her that he was fine and needed no additional support from the Cathedral.

The door shut as Jean turned to head back to her desk. He teetered back to bed and collapsed into it, his body finally giving out on him.

He frowned, he really had caused Jean quite a bit of trouble. It's all he ever seemed to do for people it seems.

Another violent series of coughs broke his train of thought, before they finally stopped and his body fell back from exhaustion. As his eyes closed he saw specks of blood peppering his sleeve.

That couldn't be good.

To think he’d been joking when he said he was on his deathbed.