Chapter Text
Of the two of them, Ilya has always been the one who has used his social media more.
Shane has all of the platforms they’re supposed to have, he posts on them as it’s required and as appropriate, but there’s not a lot of real posting that happens on there. Posts that aren’t legally required or previously agreed upon in a contract discussion.
Then suddenly, his life gets blown up by one stupid FanMail video, and once everything has settled down it occurs to Shane - all of his worst fears have already happened.
All of his worst fears have already happened, and not only did he survive them, but compared to his nightmares they weren’t even that bad.
Who the fuck cares what he posts on his social media?
Shane Hollander @shanehollander ✔️
[image 1: the cake toppers from their wedding cake on a napkin with Anya in the background
image 2: a photo booth style shot of himself & Yuna, posing and being goofy
image 3: a shot of Ilya with his tux jacket off, back to the camera, Ruby Pike on his shoulders, and Jade Pike hanging off of his arms on the dance floor
image 4: a short muted video of Hayden & Shane head banging to a song
image 5: Ilya posing with the Centaurs and Cliff, all of them missing their jackets and wearing shutter shades
image 6: Shane and Svetlana laughing softly on the dance floor together
image 7: a shot of David’s hands putting Ilya’s cuff links on for him
image 8: a shot of David tying Shane’s tie for him, but neither one of their faces are in it
image 9: Shane slow dancing with Rose, and Ilya dancing with Svetlana in the background
image 10: a cut off, cropped photo of their first kiss as husbands, but all you can see is Ilya’s hands on Shane’s waist, the left side of the wedding arch, and Anya in the background]
Happy 4th of July! 🇨🇦
Ilya Rozanov @rozanov
[image 1: a close up picture of his cross sitting on the dresser next to his ring box
image 2: a picture shot over their shoulders of David helping to straighten Ilya’s tie
image 3: a picture of the wedding arch in their backyard, Anya snoozing in the middle of it
image 4: Arthur Pike toddling down the “aisle” with his sisters and throwing flower petals
image 5: a shot of Ilya’s face the moment he realized that they were married
image 6: a nose down shot of their first kiss (so you couldn’t really tell Ilya was crying)
image 7: all of the people closest to them cheering at them being called husbands
image 8: Shane with his back to the camera standing in their kitchen, wiping a tear off of Ilya’s face, his hand covering most of Ilya’s face from the camera
image 9: a shot of their very limited drinks menu that Ilya had spent hours designing with Svetlana & Yuna’s input, next to a bottle of Ilya’s favorite vodka
image 10: Shane & Ilya standing in the middle of all of their friends, clearly scream singing a song to each other, while everyone is dancing around them
image 11: a 6 second video of their empty backyard and Ilya pulling Shane into his arms while New Year’s Day by Taylor Swift starts playing]
you and me from the night before 🖤
Shane Hollander @shanehollander ✔️
[image 1: Ilya (shirtless) looking over his shoulder at Shane going down some steps to the beach and holding his hand out to help Shane down the stairs
image 2: a picturesque sunset, the top of Ilya’s knee visible in the bottom of the frame from when he’d thrown it over Shane’s leg suddenly
image 3: a faceless mirror selfie before going to the pool - sunscreen slathered, shirt open, swim trunks hanging low, Ilya staring very intently a few feet behind Shane
image 4: a picture of their left hands with wedding ring tans at the pool
image 5: a picture someone airdropped them at dinner one night - Shane grinning at Ilya over their food, open and unguarded, and Ilya looking adoringly back at him with their feet hooked together under the table
image 6: a shot of Shane coming out of the ocean, his face obscured with more freckles than ever on his chest and arms
image 7: a timer taken selfie of the two of them on the beach one night with Ilya on Shane’s back, both of them laughing and the sun setting in the background
image 8: a picture of Shane at the pool wearing a Centaurs hat and Ilya’s sunglasses, grinning at the person holding the phone
image 9: Ilya holding up their return tickets so they’re covering the lower half of his face, but his eyes are bright like he’s laughing at something Shane said
image 10: a picture from when they first got to their hotel of the bed with rose petals in the shape of a heart, a bottle of champagne and ginger ale, and chocolate strawberries laid out for them]
🩵🌅🙂
Ilya Rozanov @rozanov
[image 1: shirtless hotel gym selfie with Shane looking exasperated and deeply fond in the background
image 2: a picture of Ilya poking his head out of the hotel pool wearing a borrowed pair of children’s goggles that have a shark fin at the top
image 3: Shane asleep on the beach looking unreasonably pretty while drooling
image 4: a selfie he stole from Shane that they’d intended to be for Yuna, but mutually decided that Ilya’s eyes looked a little too desperate while looking at Shane, for it to be appropriate to send to his new inlaws
image 5: a picture of Shane from his jaw to his shoulder, with Ilya’s hand in the frame clearly holding him in place, and a hickey from the night before on display
image 6: Ilya posing next to a huge sea turtle they saw basking on the beach
image 7: Shane in Ilya’s backwards hat, leading Ilya through a crowd with their hands in the frame
image 8: a close up of Shane’s freckles from the nose down, and a very sleepy smile
image 9: the top of Ilya’s head resting on Shane’s chest, taken from Shane’s point of view while they were on a beach
image 10: Shane passed out on the plane hugging Ilya’s arm in his sleep]
And I will hold on to you 🖤
Shane Hollander @shanehollander ✔️
[image 1: Troy and Ilya passed out on the bus with their heads resting against each other
image 2: Wyatt & Shane doing the spiderman web shooting hands at each other across the locker room while Ilya stands in the middle looking exhausted
image 3: Luca listening very attentively to Ilya explaining something to him on the ice
image 4: Harris and Chiron each kissing one of Ilya’s cheeks with Ilya cheesing
image 5: a shot right after they won their first game together, everybody cheering and skating over to Wyatt to celebrate with him at the goal
image 6: Ilya leaning very close to the camera making a goofy face at it
image 7: a shot of their nameplates above their lockers - Rozanov, Hollander, Bood, Hayes
image 8: Shane pinching Luca’s cheeks with a completely straight face
image 9: a picture Cassie took of them at the most recent barbecue, Shane knocked out on the couch in their spare room and Ilya equally passed out on top of him
image 10: Ilya posing with his back to the camera wearing Shane’s Jersey with Shane red as a tomato in the background]
It’s nice to be home 💛
Ilya Rozanov @rozanov
[image 1: Shane getting dressed on the first day of practice, his back to the camera and his last name spread clearly across his shoulders
image 2: Ilya’s new jersey for the season with the crisp C hanging up in his locker
image 3: Shane laughing shooting drills with Evan & Wyatt
image 4: Troy blowing Ilya a kiss as he skates by him in practice
image 5: Ilya standing next to Wiebe with his hat on backwards and a pen in his mouth, looking very serious and very professionally engaged in what they’re talking about
image 6: Zane & Ilya pretending to make out in the locker room to demonstrate what nobody should be doing while the team cackles & Shane hides his face while laughing
image 7: Ilya in the pool at Zane’s house with the few kids that belong to guys on the team and a Pike child running past in the background
image 8: Shane & Zane with their grill master aprons on and ugly dad sunglasses
image 9: the whole team posing for a group photo on the first day of practice
image 10: Ilya kissing Shane on the ice during practice, just because]
MLH does not know what is coming. 😈
Shane Hollander @shanehollander ✔️
[image 1: Anya & Ilya playing fetch in the backyard
image 2: Ilya laying on the floor with a Pike twin holding onto each arm, all 3 of them asleep while Frozen plays on the TV in the background
image 3: Rose and Ilya laughing over dinner at their favorite restaurant
image 4: Svetlana, Cliff and Ilya playing Cards Against Humanity in their living room, yelling indignantly at each other
image 5: Wyatt & Shane looking equally overwhelmed and sharing a packet of crackers in the locker room after a game
image 6: Ilya pressing a big, smacking kiss to Luca’s forehead like he’s 87 years old
image 7: David and Ilya working on a puzzle in the living room
image 8: Yuna, Svetlana, Rose and Jackie laughing over a bottle of wine in front of the fire pit
image 9: the Centaurs WAG’s posing together before a game, including Ilya & Harris
image 10: a shot of Hayden making a stupid face at Shane on the ice]
** no caption, but Call It What You Want by Taylor Swift is playing over the carousel **
Ilya Rozanov @rozanov
[image 1: the rookies gathered around their couch and Anya sitting in Luca’s lap while he yells at the TV
image 2: a screenshot of a text exchange between him and Shane; I: did u do laundry? S: go fuck yourself 🖕 S: it’s already put away.
image 3: a mirror selfie on their way to practice, Ilya holding Shane’s face by his chin
image 4: #1 Dad mug the rookies got him as a joke filled with steaming hot coffee next to the newspaper
image 5: a picture Ilya took of Shane getting ready for a gala while he was laying on their bed
image 6: Shane’s sneakers, Ilya’s sneakers, and Arthur’s much tinier sneakers lined up together
image 7: Zane & Ilya grinning like lunatics posing with the custom dad shirts the rookies got them, genuinely and clearly thrilled
image 8: Ilya casually skating in all his gear and pads with Shane on his back, also dressed in all of his game gear
image 9: a picture of Shane on stage at karaoke with Wyatt
image 10: paparazzi/fan shot of Yuna and Ilya grocery shopping together for David’s birthday dinner]
Coming up roses 🌹
Shane Hollander @shanehollander ✔️
[image 1: Ilya fast asleep on the sofa with a freshly black eye
image 2: their hands clasped together while Ilya drives them home from a game
image 3: Shane taking a picture of his own black eye to send his mom with Evan & Zane photobombing it in the background
image 4: a shot from the last seat on the bus of all the guys passed out in their seats
image 5: Ilya, Zane and Wiebe gathered around a clipboard during practice looking very serious
image 6: Luca grinning at Shane with a missing tooth and Ilya looking distraught
image 7: Wyatt passed out on Shane’s shoulder, Shane with his mouth hanging open and head back on the plane and Ilya glaring at them from the aisle
image 8: a screenshot of him & Ilya talking to Shane’s parents on facetime, everybody laughing
image 9: Shane flipping the camera off as he helps Ilya off the ice
image 10: a screenshot from a facetime with the Pike kids with appropriate emoji’s over their faces, Ilya making a very silly, expressive face, and Shane grinning at him like he’s stupidly in love]
So it goes, so it goes, so it goes.
Ilya Rozanov @rozanov
[image 1: Scott Hunter flipping Ilya off from across the ice
image 2: Kip, Kyle & Ilya serving cunt in the Kingfisher (as they do)
image 3: Shane animatedly talking to Scott about something that same night
image 4: Troy’s face being framed by Ilya’s hands as he presses a big kiss to his cheek
image 5: a middle finger that’s practically pressed against the phone camera, and a barely visible Hayden Pike grinning in the background as the owner of the finger
image 6: Shane & Ilya posing at a dinner with Rose, looking very handsome
image 7: Zane & Ilya doing the awkward prom pose on the ice before a game
image 8: a back shot of Ilya at practice, a stolen baseball hat on his head backwards, and Amber Pike perched on his hip as he explains what the guys are doing to her
image 9: Shane and Ilya skating after each other, both mostly blurry but grinning
image 10: Shane pressing a kiss to Ilya’s helmet in the middle of a game]
Playoffs, here we come 😜
Zane Boodram @zboodman
[image 1: Cassie with Milo on her hip at a game, waving at him from the stands
image 2: Shane Hollander holding Milo’s tiny hands the first time he steps on the ice
image 3: a screenshot of Ilya’s contact name in his phone, 😈👺Work Wife🖕🔥🕺
image 4: Ilya resting his hand on his chin like a lovesick cartoon character watching Shane at practice
image 5: Milo wearing a tiny Boodram jersey
image 6: the rookies at the last team cookout helping Cassie teach Milo to swim
image 7: a gratuitous gym selfie showing off his gains & Ilya looking appreciatively in the back
image 8: Eric Bennett and Scott Hunter flipping him off at the Kingfisher
image 9: Ilya & Cassie singing a duet at karaoke
image 10: a text from Shane: “that’s your husband now, Boodram. Good luck.”]
This season sure has been… something 😅Can’t wait to see what next season brings!
Wyatt Hayes @hazey
[image 1: a picture of his locker right next to Shane’s
image 2: a terrible selfie he sent Lisa when he was Freaking Out about being friends with Shane but trying to be so cool and normal
image 3: Wyatt mid-sturdy dance move in the goal during a game
image 4: posing with Lisa at the first gala of the season like that one picture of Will & Jada Smith
image 5: a text from Ilya - “fall asleep on my husband again and die, wyatt 😾”
image 6: Wyatt sitting on the bus in his full goalie pads, taking up a comical amount of room
image 7: Shane wearing one of Wyatt’s jerseys while Ilya is glaring in the background
image 8: a picture from the goalie fight he got into
image 9: Wyatt holding Milo on the ice, both of their faces hidden
image 10: the team posing at the end of season barbecue]
I guess Ottawa isn’t so bad 🤷
Troy Barrett @troybarrett
[image 1: his Centaurs jersey laid out next to Harris’s jean jacket
image 2: Ilya licking his cheek at a bar, Troy looking horrified
image 3: Ilya and Shane napping together on the team plane, and Troy standing above them pretending to gag
image 4: Troy fast asleep with his head in Harris’s lap at a team party, Ilya standing above them and pretending to gag while Shane laughs at his husband
image 5: Harris, Kip, Kyle and Ilya dancing at a club
image 6: Zane, Ilya and Troy posing together before a game looking very intimidating
image 7: Troy and the rookies watching the Hannah Montana movie with Harris & Ilya
image 8: Ilya very casually wearing a shirt that says “Your Hole is My Goal” and Shane, bright red and pointedly not looking at Ilya, wearing one that says “Gay Shirt, definition: a normal shirt, but with me in it”
image 9: Troy getting iced in the locker room before a game
image 10: Troy wearing a custom Centaurs jersey that says DROVER across the back]
Is this what every other team does during the season?
Hayden Pike @jackieshusband
[image 1: Jackie & the kids at a game wearing Pike jersey’s, except for the twins, who are wearing their uncle Ilya’s jersey
image 2: Jackie and Shane laughing over a glass of wine
image 3: the beautiful princess braid that uncle Ilya managed to do for her
image 4: Hayden posing with the Centaurs at their end of season team barbecue
image 5: Hayden and Shane on stage at karaoke
image 6: Ilya fast asleep on their couch, with Shane also fast asleep in his lap, Amber passed out on Shane’s chest, Arthur passed out koala wrapped to Ilya’s free arm, and the girls using his & Shane’s legs as the roof for their blanket fort, after coming back from date night
image 7: Ilya & Hayden each helping one of the girls the day they took the training wheels off
image 8: Hayden & Jackie’s mandatory selfie before the wedding
image 9: Yuna Hollander holding Arthur during a game, pointing at things on the ice for him
image 10: a screenshot of text from Shane that says “god, you’re bitchy today. Go rub one out and call me when you’re not such an ass” and under it from Jackie, “yeah, what he said 😐”]
That’s a wrap on Montreal.
Harris Drover @kingharris
[image 1: Troy fast asleep with Chiron passed out in the crook of his neck
image 2: Troy, shirtless, making him breakfast
image 3: a selfie with Shane during a road trip
image 4: a selfie with Kip from the club they went to in New York
image 5: Troy looking at Harris with heart eyes
image 6: Wyatt, Shane and Zane pretending to be Spider-Man in New York
image 7: Ilya Rozanov in lipstick and Harris laughing with a lip print on his cheek
image 8: Harris skating with the team during practice
image 9: a screenshot of a facetime session with Troy during a road trip
image 10: a picture of his new business card]
How’s your year going? 😏
Cliff Marleau @marley
[image 1: Ilya and Cliff at the wedding posing back to back with the same 1980’s sunglasses on
image 2: Cliff crying at the wedding and Hayden Pike handing him a tissue
image 3: Shane, Cliff and Ilya laughing at something
image 4: the first picture him & Ilya took together during Ilya’s rookie year
image 5: a more genuine picture of them at the wedding where they both have tears in their eyes]
It’s been surreal to see the last year of your life my friend, but in the best way. You deserve the world @rozanov, and I will always be cheering you on from wherever I am, brother.
@rozanov 😭 do not do this to me Marley I am about to walk on ice
@rozanov thank you, you ugly fucker, I miss you very much!!! come to ottawa!!!