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It should have been a relaxing evening.
A warm fire crackled in the hearth, bathing their modest living room in a cosy amber glow. While the days were getting milder, the evenings were still chilly, and relaxing with Callum on the couch was one of the best parts of Rayla’s day.
Or it had been.
Relaxing was getting more and more difficult as time had gone on, niggling concerns eventually giving way to absolutes.
Rayla had a book in hand, but it felt like she’d read and re-read the same page twenty times, her mind decidedly elsewhere.
She worried her lip; her stomach tied in knots. Waiting and hoping now seemed like a lost cause, which also meant it was too late for alternatives.
There was no more putting this off.
She and Callum needed to talk.
She’d endured weeks of upset stomachs and almost overwhelming fatigue, along with the most glaring symptom-
The lack of a monthly bleed.
Or rather, the lack of two of them-
“Tea!”
She glanced up as Callum emerged from their kitchen, a tray in hand. Grinning at her, he placed the tray on the table, then offered her a cup. Normally she adored the fragrant smell of camomile, but most things turned her stomach of late, and she struggled to even think about drinking the entire cup.
“Ez sent these over.” Callum turned to the tray for a moment, then presented her with a plate of jelly tarts. He nodded at them, sweet and wide-eyed, clearly delighted with the treats he had procured for her.
“Thanks.”
She forced a smile, taking a jelly tart from the plate, though she had absolutely no desire to eat it. She placed it on the saucer next to her teacup, setting both down on the little table by her side of the couch.
Callum took his usual seat beside her, gesturing for her to rest her legs across his lap, as was their nightly custom.
Smiling, Rayla indulged him, feeling a little better as his warm, solid hands came to rest across her lower legs.
“Worth me spending those extra days in Katolis if I bring back jelly tarts?” He winked, leaning over to take a sip of his tea, then wincing as he seemed to burn his tongue.
Dummy.
Some things never changed.
“Yeah,” she replied absent mindedly, trying to think of how best to approach things.
“Rebuilding is going really well,” Callum babbled, still smiling that sweet smile of his. “Obviously Ez and Barius prioritised getting the bakery up and running, but it’s really helping morale to have all these delicious treats and even Opeli has given in and said-”
“Callum-” Her voice caught as she spoke, reminding her of another irritating symptom.
Everything seemed to have her on the verge of tears the past few weeks.
“What’s wrong?” He looked over at her, jelly tart hanging halfway inside his open mouth, clearly concerned by her tone. Quickly putting the sweet treat down, he took her hands in his as he leaned forward trying to catch her eye. “Rayla, what-”
“I’m pregnant.”
It just seemed easier to blurt it out, rather than beat around the bush.
Callum blinked at her for a second, his mouth dropping open as he appeared to mull over what she’d said. She watched a range of emotions flicker across his face-
Shock.
Surprise.
Fear.
She bit her lip, sniffing as she tried desperately not to cry-
A moment later Callum’s face softened and he shuffled closer to her, wrapping his arms around her waist as a funny little shudder ran through his body. “Really?”
He sounded breathless and stunned and… happy.
Rayla clutched at him, her arms tight around his neck. “You’re not angry at me?”
“Angry?” He sat back, his hands lightly resting on her waist. “Why would I be angry?”
“We said we were going to wait-” She paused and wiped her eyes as she felt tears once again welling up in them.
He frowned at her, seeming confused. “Well, yeah, but-”
“I’ve been taking moon tea, like I said I would,” she huffed, once again worrying her bottom lip as she thought back over the weeks leading up to this. “I don’t think I’ve ever missed a morning, but I guess sometimes it doesn’t work or maybe because you’re human-”
“Rayla, stop.” He cupped her cheek, cutting off her desperate rambling as he looked at her pointedly. “I’m not angry or upset or- I’m as far from any of that as I think I could ever possibly be. I’m…”
He paused, face falling a little as his eyes became glassy.
She held her breath, anxious and on edge.
“I’m so happy, Rayla.” Callum’s voice caught around the emotion, and he swallowed before starting again. “I’ve- You know I want us to have children, to have a family.”
“Yeah, but after all this stuff is dealt with.” She rubbed at her eyes, hating herself for taking the wind out of his sails by reminding him of all the reasons why this wasn’t ideal.
Ever since the suspicion had begun to creep in, she’d been anxious and on edge.
It wasn’t as if every waking moment of their lives was consumed with the impending return of Aaravos, but his warning hung over them all the same.
A threat, constantly looming.
Callum stopped, tensing visibly, as if he didn’t want to think about Aaravos.
Aaravos wasn’t even the only issue either. While the continent might not have been in all-out war, things were hardly settled and peaceful. There was the on-going unrest in Xadia for one. Threats of an entirely different nature with the still Inverted Moon Nexus and the corrupted monsters lurking in the woods bordering Lux Aurea.
All excellent reasons to put off starting a family.
At least for now.
“That-” Callum sighed, shrugging as he smiled softly at her once again. “I know we said that but, well, I guess we can’t control everything.”
Leaning forward, he stroked her cheek, wiping the last evidence of tears from her face.
“This is the most secure we’ve been, Rayla. We’ve got the new prison. We’ve got a whole team of mages who are going to be working together to sort this thing. We’ve got back ups and alternatives. We’re prepared. I- I think we’re going to be all right.”
She wanted to believe him. Desperately.
They weren’t working quickly and almost alone, like last time. The whole world had come together to face the threat posed by Aaravos.
Taking a deep breath, a little of the worry and anxiety from the past few weeks began to lift. She should have known Callum would make her feel better about things. Over the years, she’d found it easier and easier to open up to him, to share her fears and concerns.
This had felt different though.
So much of his time was spent researching magic and working on prisons… preparing for the return of Aaravos and whatever horrible calamity might befall the entire world once again.
Bothering him with maybes seemed selfish.
That was until the maybe became what seemed like a definitely.
And she was definitely pregnant-
“Anyway, maybe it’s a sign?” Callum took both her hands in his, distracting her from her anxious thoughts.
“A sign?” She bit her lip, frowning at him.
“Yeah.” He smiled, kind and reassuring, resting one hand on her waist and drawing her closer to him. “You know, maybe-”
He rubbed his thumb across her hip, and she wondered if he was imagining the baby growing inside her.
“-maybe… We’ve put so much of our lives into this. Into the world. And not just since The Inversion, since we met, Rayla.” Sighing, he looked deep into her eyes, his expression full of warmth and sincerity. “When we… separated at the Moon Nexus-”
When she left.
“-all of that was us putting the world before what we wanted.”
He was right, she supposed. Since they were teenagers, they’d dedicated their lives to peace in some shape or form.
Was it really okay to accept this?
Her breath caught in her throat as a little spark of hope began to blossom in her chest. “You really want this now?”
“I want this.” Callum nodded, his eyes watery once again. “I want a family with you. A life.” He sighed, pulling her closer, as gently caressed her waist. “I want us to live like regular people. Have normal problems like caterpillars in our moonberry bush or snickeries in the pantry.”
She laughed softly and he smiled at her, looking nervous but hopeful.
Looking happy.
“I want a life with you, Rayla. A quiet normal life.”
“We still don’t know-” Her instincts still told her to be cautious. Plan for the worst and hope for the best… and when the worst was the world potentially ending— “Aren’t you the destiny is a book you write yourself guy?”
“Hey, don’t use my own words against me!” Callum laughed, leaning closer to press his forehead against hers. “Anyway, maybe that’s what’s happening? We said we’d wait until after, but maybe this is destiny writing itself? Life making its own plans.”
She bit her lip, desperately trying not to hope.
Hope could be dangerous.
Alluring.
“Rayla,” Callum’s voice caught, and he took a moment to steady himself. “You’re the one who’s going to be doing all the hard work, so… whatever you want to do, okay? Whatever you want, I’ll be here for you. I’ll support you.” He cupped her cheek. “You know I’d do anything for you.”
Resting against him, she let her mind wander, let herself dream. She hadn’t allowed herself to do so until this point, concentrating only on how she’d messed up their plans.
She let herself imagine a little baby, with Callum’s eyes and maybe her hair. Little human ears but with wee horn nubs. Callum’s boundless curiosity and her relentless energy. His kindness and understanding.
They would have such sweet children…
He watched her silently, clearly anxious but not hurrying or pressing her.
“You’re really happy?” she asked, barely allowing herself to feel the excitement creeping along the edge of her being. Teasing along the cracks and edges, pushing its way past the doubts.
“I-” Callum broke into the most wonderful smile, his eyes crinkling in the corners even as she saw tears glistening in them. “Rayla, if you want this for us, if you’re ready-”
“I-” Her breath caught in her throat, her voice barely a croak as she felt her eyes fill with tears. Happy tears this time. “I- I think I am.”
Callum’s face softened as he stroked her cheek. “You think?”
She took a deep breath, worrying her lip. “I- I’m still scared about- about everything. About how it’s all going to work out but-” Clutching his hand, she tried not to think about how things could go wrong, how they might end badly.
She allowed herself to think about how things might go right.
Maybe Callum was correct. They had plans and back up plans. Humans, elves and dragons, all come together for one common purpose, one uniting goal.
Maybe a little baby uniting them was fitting. She didn’t believe in signs and destiny any more than Callum did, but she did believe in them. In their ability to face whatever path lay before them.
Together.
She looked back at Callum, finding him watching her expectantly.
“…but?” he asked, his voice quivering ever so slightly.
“I- I’m happy.”
She tested the idea, let it worm its way into her thoughts, her dreams… finding it was true.
She was happy.
Excited.
Nervous.
“Happy?” Callum asked, his face twitching, like he was trying to suppress a smile.
“I’m… worried,” she admitted. After all these years, she could tell when he was putting her first, ensuring she was sharing whatever big feelings she had about all this.
And she had a lot of big feelings.
But the main one was happiness, she realised, once she allowed herself to feel anything but anxiety.
“I won’t lie, I am scared,” she laughed, and it only sounded a little hysterical. “I have no idea how to be a mum, but…”
“But?” Callum shifted closer to her, raising her hands to his lips and kissing her fingers.
“But I’m excited to learn how to do it with you, Callum.” She squeezed his fingers, sighing shakily. “I’m excited to learn together.”
“Together,” he echoed, dropping one of her hands to cup her cheek as he pulled her closer and pressed his lips against hers.
Rayla felt the tears spill from her eyes (maybe even tasted the salty tang of Callum’s tears too), as she clutched him tight, breathing a sigh of relief.
She knew that the path ahead of them wasn’t exactly clear. That they would face uncertainty and anxiety, no matter what happened, but they could do it, she believed.
They could face anything that the world threw at them, as long as they faced it together.