SFW
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Summary
waxing poetic
Series
- Part 1 of SFW
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Jake introduced Dirk to the magic known as actually sleeping, then proceeded to develop night terrors. Dirk uses his Heart Powers to invoreporate a creative solution, because what the fuck else is he going to do.
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- Part 2 of SFW
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guided relaxation
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- Part 3 of SFW
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unedited snippet of a draft from my 20+ google docs hoard that's been sitting around for over a year
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- Part 4 of SFW
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Man gets fucked over by life, receives aftercare from significant other.
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- Part 4 of SFW
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He fumbled around groggily until he found his phone, looking for a distraction but finding only more confusion in the clusterfuck of notifications waiting for him. Apparently, he had installed Tinder, used an anime profile picture, and went on a mile-long, elaborate roleplay with a chick down the street, taken an Uber to the club where she worked, texted Dave just to say that he suffered from chronic emotional constipation and unload his sentimentalities, spammed Jane and Jake with bad memes until the former blocked him on two social media platforms, ordered a shitty wig on eBay, bought $69.69 worth of Hot Topic merch (tax and shipping included), downloaded the Fortnite app and played for exactly four hours and twenty minutes, then posted all of his private muscular anthropomorphic equine art to Furaffinity and announced that he was taking commissions.
Now wide awake, he put his phone back down and decided to contemplate everything that had led up to that moment.
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- Part 5 of SFW
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"I'll start again... and, whatever pain may come, today this ends."
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- Part 6 of SFW
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"... Would it be so bad if I stayed?"
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- Part 8 of SFW
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Once, there was a dumbass. Then, there was another dumbass, who adopted a kid and followed in his footsteps.
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- Part 9 of SFW
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You may have thrown a monkey wrench into this situation, but what else could you do?
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- Part 10 of SFW
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Everyone else seemed to move on just fine. He feels pathetic, so he tries to handle it himself until he reaches his breaking point.
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- Part 11 of SFW
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Hey there, stranger! Wanna read a nerd’s diary?
No? That’s fair.
How about the diary of a ghost nerd stuck in a quantum state since the Roaring Twenties?
Still no? Understandable.
What if I told you that this particular nerd happens to be one of two inorganic beings left on the planet after humanity pushed it past the brink, and the only hope for its revival rests in a meme-loving android?
Maybe?
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- Part 1 of Void of Life
- Part 12 of SFW
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- Part 2 of Void of Life
- Part 13 of SFW
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- Part 3 of Void of Life
- Part 14 of SFW
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Here you will find: crude language, a kinky memer, unhealthy coping mechanisms, skippable sex, an accidental (terminated) pregnancy, injuries, mentions of drugs and alcohol/abuse/childhood trauma/passive suicidal ideation, and also: fun times, a singing nerd, the establishment of healthy relationships with family/friends/significant others, getting gay in the woods, cute critters and dank nature, self-acceptance/reinvention/improvement, and choices.
(This Ao3 mirror is unedited and outdated, so I'd recommend reading the fancy formatted version instead at tinyurl.com/akgerhardt-thc 💚)
Series
- Part 15 of SFW
- Part 6 of Void of Life
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Dirk just wants to horse around, and his boyfriend is happy to oblige.
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- Part 16 of SFW
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- Part 5 of Void of Life
- Part 17 of SFW
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"Even the word "hopeless" has hope in it."
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- Part 18 of SFW
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Nine meteors lead to four families living under one roof.
They’re trying, they really are.
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- Part 19 of SFW
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Once, there was a dumbass.
Then, there was another dumbass, who adopted a kid and followed his footsteps.
Series
- Part 20 of SFW