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Strange and Mad and Messy by MothballMilkshake for AnnoyinglyCute
Fandoms: Hazbin Hotel (Cartoon)
07 Apr 2026
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Summary
Baxter prided himself on his ability to measure things to their exact variable. To predict the result of an experiment with over ninety-eight percent accuracy based on the observations he'd made so far. He did not often put himself into situations wherein he was not at least eighty-three percent certain of the outcome. Even the battle at Vee Tower had fallen within those margins, and whilst he had only given Velvette a fifty-nine percent chance of showing up, he had at least considered the possibility.
Situations with less certainty than that eighty-three percent made him nervous. He had tried to gather more data, but whilst Niffty was undeniably charming, she was also incredibly unpredictable. Baxter did not like unpredictable things.
At least – he thought he didn't.
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Or: Baxter takes Niffty on a date. It ends... about as well as you'd expect.
Bookmarked by EvolutionaryPsyche
24 Apr 2026
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Summary
Charlie thinks that the hotel's guest and staff could benefit from having a little more music in their afterlives. Alastor is ecstatic to have the opportunity to expand the array of instruments he can play.
And then he discovers the most awful, wonderful, baffling instrument he's ever seen.
Series
- Part 6 of Alastor Week
Bookmarked by EvolutionaryPsyche
23 Apr 2026
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Summary
It's been a month since the annual extermination, and everyone knows what that means: big sale on leather and animal hides!
Alastor is disappointed they don't have any new deerskin this year.
Of course, if he really wants fresh deerskin, there's an obvious solution to the problem.
Series
- Part 5 of Alastor Week
Bookmarked by EvolutionaryPsyche
23 Apr 2026
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Summary
The closest Alastor's ever gotten to romance comes in the form of—in order of increasing hilariousness—a couple of botched youthful attempts at kissing, cheap mass-produced smut comics, and the wildly entertaining tales of other people's sordid affairs.
He's never wanted sex. He's never wanted love. He's never seen a problem with this.
It's taken about a century, but he's pleasantly surprised to discover that the rest of the world is finally starting to catch up with his perspective.
More than anything else, he’s pleased that these new modern attitudes have given him extra opportunities for bad puns.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 13,730
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 275
- Kudos:
- 3,923
- Bookmarks:
- 1,164
- Hits:
- 28,468
Bookmarked by EvolutionaryPsyche
23 Apr 2026
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Summary
Stuck as just a head, Vox finds himself alone and bored late one night. Before he can try to con Valentino into keeping him company, Vox comes to the sudden realization that his systems are still connected to his old body. And he can feel everything.
Bookmarked by EvolutionaryPsyche
18 Apr 2026

