ExtraNightlyCow
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Health Improvement Planning for Dummies by glorious_spoon
Fandoms: IT (Movies - Muschietti)
09 Sep 2021
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Summary
Eddie clears his throat. “How often would you say you ejaculate?”
Richie pauses with his spoon halfway up to his mouth. Milk dribbles over the edge to splatter on the table; Eddie grimaces but forces himself to stay on track.
“Uh,” Richie says. “What?”
“It’s a simple question.”
*
Or: Eddie reads an article in Men's Health and gets a little too invested.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 22,408
- Chapters:
- 4/4
- Comments:
- 148
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- 1,643
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Bookmarked by ExtraNightlyCow
20 Feb 2026
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lately it's been hard by kaspbrak_kid
Fandoms: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
12 Sep 2021
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Eddie realizes he has hit an all-time low when he gets out of his seat to let the man standing in the aisle of the plane squeeze past him and thinks, oh, hello. This might be the closest I’ve been to someone in four months.
OR
The Losers are back together for a few days for Richie's birthday and Eddie is struggling with the intricacies of physical touch.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 13,328
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 148
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- 1,702
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- 462
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- 13,832
Bookmarked by ExtraNightlyCow
18 Feb 2026
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Eddie Kaspbrak, Office Uncle Extraordinaire by kyaticlikestea
Fandoms: IT (Movies - Muschietti)
14 Jul 2020
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Eddie has a surprising amount of muscle definition going on in the forearm region. Jamie has witnessed, on four separate occasions, someone do a double take at Eddie’s forearm. Karen from HR still bears the nickname ‘Mugbreaker’ after Eddie turned the corner near her office, coming face to face with her just as he rubbed a hand through the hair at the nape of his neck, exposing the wiry flex of muscle between wrist and elbow, and Karen famously dropped a cup of coffee all over the floor. Ergo, either Eddie goes to the gym, or he’s on steroids.
Eddie is the kind of man who keeps a makeshift itemised medicine cabinet in his third desk drawer, with a padlock on the handle, the key for which he keeps in the inside pocket of his suit jacket, and who administers a library style check-out system of medication whenever anyone asks for a Paracetamol.
Eddie is probably not on steroids.
Eddie's coworker finally convinces him to bring his elusive spouse to an office party. It goes about as well as you might expect, which is to say spectacularly.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 18,931
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Comments:
- 482
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- 6,633
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- 1,643
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Bookmarked by ExtraNightlyCow
18 Feb 2026
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- Words:
- 116,551
- Works:
- 3
- Bookmarks:
- 25
Bookmarked by ExtraNightlyCow
08 Feb 2026
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Patrick doesn't like to make toys.
Bookmarked by ExtraNightlyCow
05 Feb 2026