Feniks



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    And let your best be for your friend.
    If he must know the ebb of your tide, let him know its flood also.
    For what is your friend that you should seek him with hours to kill?
    Seek him always with hours to live.
    “On Friendship,” Kahlil Gibran (From “The Prophet)

    “Uhm, do you have a preferred side?” Eddie asks. His tongue is so dry in his mouth. He should have had more water at the bar.
    Buck shrugs, glancing at the neat stack of pillows against the headboard. “This side is good.” He licks his lips. His broad frame somehow looks small, like he’s pulled himself inwards.

    “Do you -” Buck starts to say, then pauses, rubs his palms against his thighs. “Do you want to, like, build a pillow wall down the middle?”

    Or: Buck and Eddie attend a Firefighter Convention in Indianapolis. And wouldn't you know it, there's only one bed. You know how this goes.

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    15 Jan 2025

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    Eddie’s not a complete idiot. He knows this isn’t normal. He stands in front of a mirror in his underwear, the tightest pair he owns, and he poses for a picture at an angle he’s learned flatters his ass and the curve of his thigh, to send to his best friend.

    He knows this isn’t what most best friends do. He also knows most straight guys don’t spend extensive amounts of time staring at men’s thirst trap accounts, or thinking about how their best friends look half-naked, but…

    That’s not what Eddie is focusing on right now. He’s just focusing on feeling good, following the path that sparkles with joy, and refusing to overthink it. If happiness is Buck sending a meme of a guy with a nosebleed back to his shirtless selfie, then that’s what happiness is. Eddie has spent too long denying himself to let this be what stops his journey towards loving himself.

    It doesn’t need to make sense. It just needs to be positive.

    It’s not like he’s breaking any commandments, as Father Brian would say.

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    15 Jan 2025

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    Eddie is learning, as many do, that there are five stages of the sexuality crisis. When we find him sitting alone in his sad unfurnished house, he’s freshly greeting stage one.

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    14 Jan 2025

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    “Your friend Diego. Were you in love with him?”

    Not a muscle twitches on Dad’s face.

    “Dad, it’s fine. You can tell me.”

    Dad gives him a nod so small, he barely notices it.

    Christopher figured. But it’s nice to have the confirmation.

    Next order of business, then.

    “Are you in love with Buck now?”

    Dad shuts his eyes, pained.

    When he reopens them, he gives him another nod.

    Figures.

    _____

    OR In the smouldering heat of El Paso, Christopher Diaz learns all about his dad, one old teenage diary entry at a time.

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    13 Jan 2025

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    Then he finally connects the laptop with the TV, the introductory slide of his presentation finally visible to them.
    Christopher reads the title out loud:

    “Reasons why you should put all of us out of our misery and get together already”

     

    [Or, Chris is tired of this parents' pinning and decides to do something about it]

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    07 Jan 2025