Jumpus
Fandoms
- Homestuck (1)
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Summary
Jade knows a lot of things.
The way the earth rotates (it spins 23.5 degrees and rotates the sun at 67,000 mph),
the sound of rain on the wind (it's a quiet pattering sound with the slight smell of ozone),
and even the way space breathes (it's a quiet whistling sound that fills her ears with the dead space it always brings.)But she did NOT know this.
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Summary
“What’s that in your hair?” Steve asks.
Thick globs of yellow ooze are dripping down Cesare’s face from a pile on top of his head. Cesare’s sallow white cheeks flush slightly pink, and his eyes widen and his lips purse with a barely masked indignation. “It’s mustard, all right?”--
After the series ends, Steve runs into a recently un-undead... nemesis? Aquaintance? Friend? Hard to say. What's more likely to bring two estranged food truck vendors together than a condiment disaster?
Bookmarked by Jumpus
08 Jan 2026
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Summary
"If there were two cats who were known to be enemies," Cesare barrels on, head craned to be seen by the trio around the doorframe and the headrest of the driver's seat, "And one cat slowly blinked at the other one, that would probably catch the second cat completely off guard, right? Throw him totally, irrevocably off his game? Make him think they were in some sort of stalemate, maybe... maybe even a truce of some kind. He wouldn't even think to fight back- I mean, it's hard wired into his brain, for God's sake, he couldn't help it. A sitting duck. No, no- a goose that begs to have a horn stuck down its elegant throat to make the most succulent of foie gras. He'd never even see it coming!"
"I feel like this is referring to something really specific, but I can't figure out what," Frances says dryly.
*****
Cesare plans, fails, momentarily regrets it all, learns two new things about cats, and finally scores a sorely needed victory.
Bookmarked by Jumpus
07 Jan 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
RAGHHHHHH THE TIMY EARS AND THE FUCKING. ITALIAN. RAGHHHH WHAT IF I EXPLODED!!!
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Summary
During the last few moments of a match, the BLU team's Respawn Machine suddenly malfunctions, with you inside! Left reeling by the loss of their Chemist, the team attempts to cope. A week later, Miss Pauling receives a most unexpected phone call...
(Cross posted from tumblr! I felt it was long enough, and liked enough, to warrant being ported over to AO3)
Series
- Part 2 of Chemist-verse
Bookmarked by Jumpus
30 Nov 2025
Bookmarker's Notes
I love this thang I adore blu!chemist so much this thing is so sopping wet born in a cardboard box alone and they were picked up by Ms. pauling and let into the care of 9 stupid idiot men who care so so much about their silly ass. Get polyamorous idiots. I adore this verse so much and I hold these creatures in my heart
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Summary
"The trouble was that it was his left shoulder. If it was his right shoulder, it wouldn’t be an issue. Inch of head turn, pluck of tweezers, one-two-three and he’s done. But no, it just had to be on his left. In the eyepatch’s hemisphere."
[[from a request received on tumblr]]
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Summary
"There, in the steadily-warming morning sun, the birds having well been awoken but most of the mercenaries having not done the same, Heavy found himself present with something he so often lacked—some peace and quiet. For once.
Before seven in the morning, Heavy could reliably take some time for himself to get a bit of peace. He was rarely needed for things, let alone so early in the morning, and going out for a breath of fresh air was one of his favorite parts of his morning routine.
Which meant the ever-so-slight hint of cigarette smoke on each wind from the east was completely unwelcome just then."
Bookmarked by Jumpus
20 Oct 2025
Bookmarker's Notes
WAHHHHH THE TEAM CARES FOR EACH ORHET SO MUCH AUGHHHHHHH