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Lessons in Flirting (Unintentionally and Definitely Not Romantically) by shrimprangoon
Fandoms: 9-1-1 (TV)
14 Sep 2025
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Summary
Hen sighs. “Something had to be said before you idiots put us in mortal peril.”
“I’d never do anything to jeopardize our safety on a job! You know that Hen.”
“Maybe not on purpose,” Chim chimes in, “but, see, the thing is, when you flirt with our Buck, his brain turns off. He just bluescreens.”
“You’re flustering the poor boy, Eddie,” Hen adds. “And it’s making him dumb.”
“-er,” Chim adds.
“Wha- Buck isn’t flustered.”
Eddie is flustered. His face feels hot. He takes another sip of his coffee to give his hands something do to, but that only makes him feel warmer. Shit.
Hen levels him with the most deadpan look. “Last week he walked into a stop sign after you called him ‘big boy’ on a call.”
Eddie nearly spits out his coffee.
Or: the one where Eddie subconsciously flirts with Buck without realizing and Buck is actively trying not to have a heart attack at work about it
Series
- Part 1 of Lessons in Dumbassery
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 45,342
- Chapters:
- 8/8
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 295
- Kudos:
- 2,192
- Bookmarks:
- 651
- Hits:
- 37,069
Bookmarked by Pocky_emi
20 Jan 2026
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Summary
Buck is about to walk out of the airport. He can’t do this. He won’t. But then a hand—a big, warm hand—settles on his shoulder.
“Hey, uh—”
Buck turns, and standing there is the most beautiful man Buck’s seen in his entire life. A week’s worth of stubble across his jaw and cheek, a strong nose, and the deepest, prettiest brown eyes he’s ever seen, framed by mile-long lashes. Buck’s breath catches. Buck’s not into men, but holy shit, if he was—he’d be into this guy.
Well. He is kinda into this guy. Well. That’s—
“I’m here with my kid,” the guy continues, throwing a thumb over his shoulder and pointing toward where a blonde-haired, smiling kid with red glasses and crutches is standing. The kid lifts a hand and waves. Okay. Even if Buck is into the guy—kid usually means wife. Damn. “He’s got CP. We’ve done this song and dance a thousand times. You want a hand?”
“Sir,” the man cuts in, “this is a private discussion—”
Buck, who really was trying not to cry before, feels like he’s fighting a losing battle now. His eyes are a little wet, and his hands, gripping his crutches, are shaking just a little. “Fuck. Yeah. Please.”
OR Eddie Diaz vs American Airlines.
Bookmarked by Pocky_emi
10 Jan 2026
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Summary
“Who’s this?” asks the stranger. The audacity. Eddie should be the one asking that.
“Oh, uh,” Buck swallows. “This is Eddie, and Chris,”
“This is Eddie…” the stranger doesn’t sound pleased.
“And Chris,” Eddie adds. “And you are?”
“Edward,” Buck says. “My, my date.”
Eddie’s stomach sinks.
“I told you this shouldn’t have been a surprise.” Chris says, slightly embarrassed.
No. Absolutely not. Eddie hasn’t gone through a gut wrenching month of trying to figure out his life—his sexuality—only for the love of his life to be on a date as soon as things start to get better. He’s moved across states twice in the same goddamn month just to keep the two halves of his heart close, for god’s sake. He might not financially recover from this, but he refuses to take an emotional hit at the same level. Besides, what kind of name is Edward?
or
Eddie comes back gayer and more insane than ever.
Bookmarked by Pocky_emi
01 Jan 2026
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Summary
Chris hates this stupid party. He hates it and he wants to go home. He pulls up a contact he hasn't messaged in a while.
Can you come get me?
Buck:
Yef
Yes
Where are you?Series
- Part 1 of Pal's 12 Days of Ficsmas
Bookmarked by Pocky_emi
28 Dec 2025
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Summary
The thing was, the 118 was full of gossips.
Eddie had been at the station less than a week before Hen and Chim wrangled details about his “hot young thing” from him (“Buck is only 4 years younger than me, he is not a ‘hot young thing’!” Eddie complained.)
And Bobby was open about his worries for his son’s lack of direction and the secrets he appears to be keeping (“I just wish I could help Evan find the thing that gives him purpose,” Bobby lamented.)
It just made it all the more ridiculous (and horrifying) when Eddie realizes he’s been dating his Captain’s son this whole time (“Defiling his baby,” Chimney cackled, because he clearly wanted Eddie murdered.)
--
Or, the AU where miscommunication abounds as Eddie seeks advice about his new relationship, Bobby despairs over his adopted son's career prospects and his refusal to talk about it, and Evan Buckley-Nash juggles training at the fire academy, building a family with his new boyfriend, and trying to work out how to tell his overprotective dad that he's already chosen the life he wants, actually.
It takes a goddamn tsunami, of all things, to get the story straight.Series
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 60,866
- Chapters:
- 7/7
- Collections:
- 6
- Comments:
- 1,278
- Kudos:
- 13,263
- Bookmarks:
- 3,116
- Hits:
- 240,952
Bookmarked by Pocky_emi
27 Dec 2025