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The Hemlocke Report by ResidentHesitant for smoothlikebutter (caimani)
Fandoms: WHITEPINE - IvoryTV (Web Series)
26 Mar 2026
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The Hemlocke Report, as it currently stands, exists as a collection of journal entries, wax cylinder recordings, newspaper clippings, photographs, silent film reels, and police reports taken in the city of Emberton, Hale, between 1914 and 1917 in the historic Whitepine estate. The report was compiled in full in 1926, nearly ten years after the final expedition, by the report’s subject, Sir Pyroscythe Hemlocke, after a neurotic break prompted extensive work with a psychotherapist, who encouraged him to formalize the recordings taken during that period. Once compiled, the report remained in storage until 1979, when it was discovered by Sir Hemlocke’s great-niece, R████████ Hemlocke-Caine, while clearing out the estate after his death. All recordings and reports were digitized and put to film, and released as a documentary under █████████ Films in 1981.
Y'know hit cult classic novel House of Leaves and it's pseudo-academic, generally weird as hell format? Y'know how something in the Whitepine Estate isn't quite right? Y'know how the grand tradition of the katabasis has persisted in the popular imagination for centuries? Yeah. Yeah.
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[Podfic] Minecraft.... but I rank up from being a Parkour Kit to a Parkour Paw in Parkour Cat Parkour Civilization by ResidentHesitant for parrotea
Fandoms: Parkour Civilization (Web Series)
26 Mar 2026
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a podfic of the wonderful warrior cats au fic posted for last battleship, complete with sound effects :3
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hanged man / nine of swords [vampires smp web weave] by ResHes Event Fills (ResidentHesitant) for LeanMeanSaltineMachine
Fandoms: Vampires SMP
25 Mar 2026
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a web weave focused on Those Two Doomed-Ass Roommates and how incredibly stressed out v!apo is at all times
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first flower of my house [yogscast web weave] by ResHes Event Fills (ResidentHesitant) for Jinx72
Fandoms: The Yogscast
25 Mar 2026
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a web weave focused on post-blackrock, pre-dawnlight zoeya straining under the weight of being queen when your boybestfriend now haunts your narrative
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not so bad being a changeling [whitepine webweave] by ResHes Event Fills (ResidentHesitant) for AmethystLavender
Fandoms: WHITEPINE - IvoryTV (Web Series)
25 Mar 2026
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pixie hollow au web weave focused on ivory and serapter's friendship, neurodivergence, and gettin' into hijinks.
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You were not your necromancer’s first choice for cavalier, and he does not let you forget that.
More often than not, he reminds you that you are here as a favor. You were a reject from the Sixth, he reminds you, welcomed into the Fifth out of the goodness of his heart. Scott reminds you of this often, no matter how hard you train to be the perfect cavalier. You get him everything he needs. You wait on his every whim. But you were not his first choice, no matter how hard you try.
The Fifth House is hosting a ball tonight, the first under Scott's rule as Lord of the Koniortos Court. Pyro, his ever-loyal cavalier, swears to spend the night protecting his necromancer for all he is worth.
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It always starts at the same moment.
“You look stunning, my friend,” Foolish says, kissing the back of Eret’s hand.
“Oh, stop.”
Foolish will never get used to seeing Eret die, no matter how many lifetimes they find each other in. At the Red Banquet, however, she finds herself living the same moment over, and over, and over again.
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If this is what tumbleweed work is always going to look like, Wilbur doesn't want to do it. When he's sent out to retrieve a faction leader in Vegas, he thinks it'll be easy.
Instead, he gets Vice President.
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[Podfic] correspondence (just to get it off my chest) by ResidentHesitant for ironsides
Fandoms: Dream SMP
26 Mar 2026
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To their royal majesty King ErDear EBig man!Eret,
First off, hey. Hi. Been a while. I never know how to start these things off, so, sorry if this comes off a little stilted.
A series of letters between Tommy Innit and King Eret, discussing a former mutual acquaintance and their experiences with him.
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[Podfic] A Waltz at the End of the World by ResidentHesitant for Kryon
Fandoms: Dream SMP
26 Mar 2026
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It starts like this:
The traitor, the baker, and the general’s son sit on the couch and wait for L’Manberg’s destruction.
Three very hurt people find solace in one another before their world comes crashing down around them.
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On her second night out of hospital, Zoeya wakes up panicking. Rythian, ever vigilant, is there to comfort her.
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life, death, and mercy by ResHes Event Fills (ResidentHesitant) for FactorialRabbits
Fandoms: Vampires SMP
25 Mar 2026
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Abolish has been sent to hunt new vampires in the past. This time, he doesn't kill the poor guy begging for his life.
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in sickness and in health [vampires smp web weave] by ResHes Event Fills (ResidentHesitant)
Fandoms: Vampires SMP
26 Mar 2026
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steampunk au web weave in which inventor pyro marries rich guy scott in order to fund his research, but falls in love with him in the process; scott, not giving a fuuuuck about this guy, then tries to kill him <3 how romantic
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six of swords / justice reversed [whitepine webweave] by ResHes Event Fills (ResidentHesitant) for Bookwyrm__13
Fandoms: WHITEPINE - IvoryTV (Web Series)
26 Mar 2026
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web weave comparing ivory and detective bormethius, to the tune of tarot and wikipedia screenshots
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After reuniting with her family in the Twilight Forest and taking her place as next in line for the throne, Zoeya complains about her princess-induced woes to Rythian, her ever-loyal knight.
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stuck together with honey / stuck together with blood by ResidentHesitant for Kryon
Fandoms: Dream SMP
26 Mar 2026
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Something in the palace wants to kill you. Maybe it’s the palace itself.
That is the sense you get, more than anything – you sense the malice, you sense the sheer weight of what this kingdom means, but more than anything, you sense how badly the palace itself hates you. It’s driving you mad.
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heart and body, service and estate by ResidentHesitant for PiperKells
Fandoms: Dream SMP
26 Mar 2026
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Foolish has been languishing in this stupid tower for gods only know how long. Yeah, sure, he got out to do that tournament, but he had to come right back to this prison cell, where he'll be stuck for the rest of eternity.
Eret, however, has other plans.
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Upright, the Star represents hope, inspiration, contentment, and renewal. Reversed, it represents hopelessness, despair, and a lack of faith.
Zoeya opens a portal between the Twilight Forest and the Brightlands to find Rythian. She finds him, but not quite in the way she thought she wanted.
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While the New Year's gala rolls along, Eret sits alone in their study, watching from afar. Dream, for a little while, keeps them company.
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“You’re spiraling.” Ranboo’s voice cuts through his thoughts, punctuated by a squeeze to his hand. Tubbo takes a deep breath, letting it out slowly. He glances at them out of the corner of his eye, realizing somewhat belatedly that they have, as they always do, made sure to sit on his good side. His heart flutters, which also makes him feel like a teenager, but not in the panic-inducing way. “C’mon, Bee,” Ranboo says. “What’s going on with you?”
“What if something goes wrong?”
It's the night before Michael's bar mitzvah, and Tubbo can't stop stressing about it.
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